Chapter 2 – no microwaves in this kitchen
It was a hot September Tuesday when Ozai Nakamura's Lexus rolled into the parking lot of the Northern Lights restaurant in Caldera City. Technically, Caldera was supposed to be Azula's hometown, but with her father's business interests spanning the entire globe, Azula had been on a constant move since her early teens. As such, she had never developed a strong bond with any one place that she could call home. Caldera came the closest, but only because Azula had been born in the capital of the Fire Nation.
Getting out of the car, Azula surveyed the location of the restaurant. Often, that in itself posed an answer as to why a business was failing. Historically, this was not considered a glamorous district of the capital. A large number of Water Tribe refugees had been settled here during and after the great war, presumably including the Enuaraq family. A new business district was quickly expanding next to the residential district which was home to the Water Tribe diaspora. On the opposite side of the restaurant, there was a small but well-maintained park. This was not an area that would see the crowds of downtown Caldera, but it wasn't a ghost town, either. There were definitely enough potential customers in the neighborhood.
Next, Azula spent a moment to survey the restaurant itself. It was a rather simple looking two-story building with bits of missing plaster here and there revealing the need for some minor maintenance. It seemed as if the restaurant only took up the ground floor, because the windows of the second floor were covered by curtains. Large flowerbeds surrounded a cozy looking roof terrace which gave the building an almost homey feel. There was a large sign attached to the side of the building, spelling out the restaurant's name. Next to the restaurant's name was what Azula supposed was the restaurant's logo - a baby seal making a thumbs up gesture.
"It's not a bad name for a restaurant, but that logo is pure cringe," her father winced, shaking his head as they made their way towards the entrance. "It's way too tacky." Azula quickly nodded, even if she privately didn't hate the little seal. She actually thought that it was kind of quirky and cute.
Ozai opened the doors and strode inside, Azula following quickly. The place was smaller than she expected it to be. Azula didn't think there were as many as twenty tables and less than half of them were taken during what should have been a busy lunch service. Azula immediately saw the potential to free up space for more tables both inside and outside of the restaurant, which was a premium space that the owners had not utilized at all. Azula's trained eye also spotted some of the cameras that had been mounted around the dining hall. The filming crew that had been at the location for a few days already had followed them ever since they climbed out of the Lexus, remaining discreet and unobtrusive.
"Gross," Ozai snorted, looking around. "These Water Tribe rats need to remember that they're serving food to good Fire Nation folks here. We don't care about this kind of décor." Azula winced at the comment, but she couldn't deny that the blue, white and silver colors dominating the interior were a little overwhelming and perhaps too on the nose. Perhaps if scaled back, they would actually work, but she doubted that a Fire Nation supremacist like her father would agree.
"Hello, and welcome to the Northern Lights," Azula's thoughts were interrupted by the soft voice of a young woman. For some reason, Azula expected to turn around and face Katara Enuaraq, one of the owners of the establishment, but instead, she was confronted by a no less stunning Water Tribe woman. Azula had never seen a Water Tribe girl with naturally blonde hair, but one look at the beautiful tresses of this waitress told Azula that her elaborately styled blonde hair was all natural.
"Hello," Ozai returned the greeting, while Azula was still busy gaping at the tall blonde with the softest smile and innocent doe eyes. "Your name, darling?" Ozai asked.
"Yue," the waitress replied, blushing lightly. "Pleased to meet you, Chef Nakamura."
"The pleasure is all mine," Ozai grinned, leaning in to kiss Yue on both cheeks, leaving Azula to sigh inwardly. Her father always did this with every woman that was not an uggo by his standards. In truth, Azula found it annoying only because she lacked the lady-balls to be so bold herself. So, when it came to her turn to greet Yue, all Azula could do was to extend a very stiff arm for a handshake.
"Azula," she uttered, failing to project any of her usual confidence. Azula truly hated the way her repressed lesbian side often made her act like a complete klutz when she had to talk to a woman that she found genuinely stunning and physically desirable.
"I know," Yue smiled, her blush deepening slightly. "We are pleased to have you both here. We really need the help."
Ozai looked around the place with a derisive snort. "I bet you do," he smirked. "So, what is this place supposed to be, Yue? Something like Chuck E. Cheese?"
"Umm… no?" Yue's eyes widened in confusion.
"I'm only asking because of that hideous seal logo," Ozai continued. "That's something I'd expect a kid's restaurant to have."
"The seal is a national animal of the Water Tribes, Chef," Yue explained. Azula could tell that she was a little upset, but she was trying not to show it. "It's a cultural thing and most people don't seem to mind our little Seal of Approval," she added, bouncing back with a quick, but nervous smile.
"Well, I think it's terrible," Ozai snorted.
"Of course, Chef," Yue obediently agreed. "Where would you like to begin? Should I fetch the owners for you?"
"Please," Ozai nodded. "I'm dying to meet them." Yue quickly retreated, with Azula's eyes accompanying her all the way. Her waitress uniform consisted of a blue ascot with a tight white shirt and knee length blue skirt. It reminded Azula of a flight attendant's uniform and it certainly did Yue's curvy figure plenty of justice.
Yue returned not a minute later, accompanied by the two siblings Azula had seen in the picture included with the restaurant's submission to the Kitchen Nightmares. Azula supposed that Sokka was a strapping young man, rather handsome if one was interested in that sort of thing. Azula quietly decided that Sokka would probably make for a more fun fake boyfriend than Chan. He was wearing the traditional white chef's apron and he looked way too young to be the head chef of anything. His sister was… even more stunning in real life than she'd been in the picture that had captured Azula's attention. Katara had gone all out with business casual, wearing a dark blue blazer over a sky-blue mid-thigh length dress and matching wedge heels. It was clear that she was trying to project as much professionalism as possible, but Azula knew that it wasn't going to convince her father. As far as Azula herself was concerned, when dressed like this, Katara could put anything in writing before her and Azula would just sign it like hypnotized prey, provided that Katara kept prettily smiling at her.
Ozai proceeded to shake Sokka's hand and then to smooch Katara's cheeks, much to Azula's simmering annoyance. Azula quickly introduced herself to Sokka and then held out her hand for Katara. "Azula," she managed stiffly as Katara took her hand. The handshake was soft and warm, and Azula knew that she was being awkward as fuck for holding on to Katara's hand for longer than necessary, but she desperately did not wish to let go.
"I know," Katara replied the same way as Yue minutes earlier, also blushing lightly.
"Anyway," Ozai coughed, forcing Azula to finally release Katara's hand. "So, you two are the owners?" Katara and Sokka both quickly nodded at that. "Which one of you is actually running the place?"
"I am," both Katara and Sokka replied at once. Azula cringed inwardly at the uncomfortable moment. She instantly knew that the owners had just handed her father one of his favorite narratives, that of a dysfunctional family. Obviously, Ozai knew all about dysfunctional families. He had created one all by himself. Just by the smug look on her father's face, Azula knew that he was going to turn this into an episode about toxic sibling rivalry ruining the restaurant. Of course, Azula had no idea what kind of relationship Katara and Sokka actually had, but she strongly doubted that it was anywhere near as toxic as the relationship she had with her brother, not to mention that it was toxicity that their father strongly encouraged.
"Sokka, you're the head chef, not the manager," Katara frowned at her brother.
"Head chef is the beating heart of the restaurant, though," Sokka replied. "Anyway, you're more like the head waitress than a manager."
"What are you talking about?" Katara's cheeks grew dark with an angry blush. "I do the payroll and all the other things a manager does! That means I'm in charge!"
"Are you quite done?" Ozai asked, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, so we have a manager and a head chef. That's good enough." He then turned towards Katara. "So, what's wrong with the place? Why is your business failing?"
"We're just having trouble turning profit," Katara replied. "We need more butts in the seats, really."
"Well, obviously," Ozai sighed, looking around. Azula had to admit that it wasn't a particularly good answer from a manager, but she couldn't decide whether Katara was truly clueless or was she simply intimidated by the great Ozai Nakamura. Her father had the tendency to make other people around him very nervous, and for a good reason. "And why do you think you can't fill those seats?"
"I don't know… for some reason people aren't biting," Katara managed helplessly, looking a bit like a deer in the headlights. Azula winced at the answer, because she knew that with some clever editing, Ozai's team would be able to portray Katara as clueless or even a bit stupid.
"Illuminating," Ozai said sarcastically. "So, it's not an issue of your food being shit." Katara looked very uncomfortable at that statement, shooting an uncertain look at her brother. "How would you rate your food on a scale of ten?" Ozai turned to Sokka.
"Ten," Sokka stated proudly. He then hesitated briefly, probably having noticed the skeptical stare Ozai was giving him. "Maybe nine. But I wouldn't go any lower than eight."
"Alright, by the sound of it, Azula and I are in for a true gastronomic treat," Ozai said.
"Aren't we always?" Azula asked with fake enthusiasm.
"Indeed," Ozai nodded at her. "Well, we're going to sit down and eat, and afterwards we're going to have a little chat, how about that?" Katara and Sokka nodded nervously and retreated back to the kitchen, while Yue led Azula and her father over to one of the tables to get them seated. She returned a while later with menus that had at least six pages each.
"Not one of these again," Azula sighed. Oversized menu was the first clue indicating that the people running the restaurant were a little clueless. Azula had really hoped that Katara and her brother wouldn't have made this rookie mistake, but apparently it was too much to hope for.
"First sign of incompetently run business, indeed," Ozai nodded, starting to browse the menu. "What a mess," he groaned, a sentiment Azula was forced to silently agree with. Yue had stepped away to allow them to make their selections, but Ozai now waved to call her over again. "I'm trying to understand what kind of restaurant this is," Ozai told her.
"Uh… a half-empty one?" Yue blinked, looking a little confused.
Azula barely managed to fight back an amused snort, knowing that Ozai would not approve of it. "We're talking about the identity of the restaurant," Azula quickly interjected. "There are traditional Water Tribe dishes on the menu, but then it has a lot of other stuff as well. This is clearly not a fine dining restaurant, so is this supposed to be more like casual comfort food?"
"Yes," Yue nodded swiftly. "We have a little bit of everything. I think that's the idea."
"Every restaurant needs a strong identity and a little bit of everything isn't an identity," Ozai snapped. "But I guess we should speak with the owners about that. I should have known better than to ask a clueless server about that." Yue stepped aside again, but this time Azula noticed that her bottom lip was trembling and she was trying to keep it together by biting the inside of her cheek. Azula had to admit that Yue was possibly just a stupid airhead, but at the same time, Azula thought that Yue was unfairly hot and thus, Azula wanted to give the beautiful waitress the benefit of doubt, at least for now.
"Can I order-" Azula spoke up while browsing the confusing mess of a menu.
"I'll order for you," Ozai said decisively. Azula sighed inwardly. Ozai always liked to order the most disgusting items on the menu for her just because apparently audiences liked the sound of Azula gagging on horrible food. "Ah, there's the seafood section. How wonderful," Ozai grinned. "With any luck, it will be awful and you'll get terribly sick."
"I could actually die, you know," Azula whined. Ozai always ordered seafood for her in all these restaurants they visited while filming for the Kitchen Nightmares, because he thought that it was fun when Azula got severe food poisoning. It had happened three times in the past already and the gifs with Azula bent over a bucket or toilet sink had gone viral, spawning famous Vomiting Princess memes.
"Don't be so dramatic. You're going to be okay," Ozai chided her, continuing to browse the menu. "Ah crab cakes, an old classic, we're getting that for you. And lobster ravioli, got to have that." Azula winced. Upon entering, she had noticed the lobster tank at the far wall of the dining room. Fortunately, from where she sat, the tank actually looked maintained and no dead lobsters were floating at the top.
It took some ten minutes for her father to finally be done with the menu and decide on his selections. Azula was bracing herself for the worst as he called the waitress Yue over again. "I think we're ready to order," Ozai said. "I'll have the baked eggplant roll starter. I'll also have spaghetti meatballs. Finally, let's see how our Water Tribe chef handles some Water Tribe staples, so I'll go with reindeer sausage, mash and gravy, and finally I'd like the reindeer burger."
Yue looked very frazzled, trying to take all of that down quickly. "Anything else, Chef?" she asked once she had finished writing.
"That was just for me," Ozai said. "Azula will have the crab cake starter, the mushroom risotto, blackened salmon and lobster ravioli. I assume that the lobster is fresh." He nodded at the lobster tank at the back.
"Oh yes, the lobsters are very fresh," Yue spoke distractedly while still writing down Azula's order. Azula had a feeling that she hadn't actually fully digested her father's comment. "I'll be back with your starters shortly," she flashed them a beaming smile before hurrying off.
"So," Ozai spoke up, staring Azula down with that piercing gaze that always set her on edge and made her feel particularly small and insignificant. "I've had my PR team look into your recent activities. Your last public appearance together with Chan was more than two weeks ago. I trust everything is well? I appreciate a good breakup scandal, but it must be properly managed in order to maximize the publicity we could get out of it."
"Everything is fine between me and Chan," Azula was quick to reassure her father. "I would like to remind you that it's always been like this during the football season. It's not like he could come with me on that trip to the Earth Kingdom, not when he has either practice or a game daily."
"I suppose," Ozai frowned, still not appearing completely mollified. "I swear that didn't stop you two from attending events more often in the past."
"I don't know what to tell you, father," Azula shrugged. "You can always ask Chan whether everything is fine, but I'm confident he'll tell you the same."
Azula knew that Chan would tell her father that things between them were the same as always, even if that wasn't true. The truth was that Chan was being paid handsomely to pretend that they were the same happy couple as always. Every month, Azula transferred a significant amount of money to Chan's bank account as a payment to keep the lie going. When Azula had gotten together with Chan almost three years ago, she'd managed to delude herself for the first few months of their relationship. Still, after a while, convincing herself that she was happy became impossible, not when she was lying next to Chan in their bed late at night, staring at the ceiling and hugging herself while Chan snored and drooled on his side of the bed. It didn't take too long for Azula to realize that she could not keep lying to herself about being blatantly homosexual.
Azula still felt a sliver of gratitude towards Chan for agreeing to go along with her proposition. Most guys in his position would have probably dropped her like a hot potato. Obviously, all the money she was paying Chan helped to keep him onside. Also, Chan could have all the mistresses he wanted, as long as he kept quiet about it. In some ways, Chan had a lot of power over her and he could ruin her future prospects by telling the truth about their relationship to Ozai. In that sense, Azula had opened herself to blackmail and she did not like that. But she also felt confident in being able to handle Chan. Their agreement was mutually beneficial and it didn't seem as if Chan had any reason to break it.
This agreement with Chan also freed Azula to finally explore her true sexuality, even if she had to do it in secret. She'd made an account on a dating app for lesbians and within a few weeks she had hooked up with more girls than during the previous twenty-two years of her life. The freedom she had finally allowed herself to have felt intoxicating and liberating, like she was rebelling against her father in a way that was so important to her newfound identity.
"I think those are our starters," Azula said a while later, noticing Yue walking towards them, carrying their plates. The wait had been a little uncomfortable, both the silent parts as well as listening to her father rant some more about the restaurant's décor.
"Less than ten minutes," Ozai said, having checked his phone. "You know what that means." He gave Azula a knowing nod.
"Your starters," Yue smiled demurely, setting their plates down on the table. "The eggplant roll for you, Chef. And there are your crab cakes, Miss Azula. Please enjoy." Azula thought that she had seen Yue's smile broadening when their eyes briefly met, but she quickly waved off those thoughts, assuming that she was simply imagining things.
"Well, this looks like shit," Ozai commented, looking at his plate. He dug into the eggplant roll, ripping it apart and then finally taking a bite. He immediately spat the piece of eggplant right back on the plate. "Hideous. So bitter," he said, shaking his head. "I hope your crab cakes are better because this is a miss."
Azula stared at her plate where the crab cakes sat, looking all sad and grey. Azula picked up a fork and dug in. Just from the way the crab cake came apart, she could see that the texture was all wrong. Wincing inwardly, Azula took a bite and chewed. Unlike her father, she was not supposed to spit out the gross food because it was unladylike, and also because Ozai hoped that she would throw up on camera. The crab cake wasn't bad enough to make her throw up, but it definitely wasn't good. It was very much the opposite of fresh, hot on the outside and stone cold inside. Azula didn't need her culinary training to tell that it had been blasted in a microwave.
"How is that for you?" Ozai asked expectantly.
"It tastes bland and old," Azula replied. "And I'm reasonably sure it's been microwaved."
"Not a great start," Ozai sighed, waving Yue over. The waitress quickly walked up to their table. "Has this food been microwaved?" he asked.
Yue hesitated before answering, which was all Azula needed to confirm her suspicions. "I don't think so, Chef," she said unconvincingly. "We don't even have any microwaves in the kitchen," the waitress added. Ozai glared at her. "I swear, I'm telling the truth," Yue stuttered.
"No matter, we will find out for ourselves later," Ozai shrugged, while Azula was still wondering why Yue was so adamant in lying about the microwaving. "Take these away. And ask the chef if he knows how to cook an eggplant so that it's not bitter."
"I will, thank you," Yue replied bravely, picking up their plates and dashing back to the kitchen. She was back only some five or six minutes later, definitely too fast for their food being cooked to order. "Your spaghetti meatballs, Chef," she set the next plate in front of Ozai. "And your lobster ravioli, Miss Azula. Please enjoy."
Azula watched her father once again digging into his food. "Well, at least this donkey can cook his pasta proper al dente," Ozai snorted, having tasted the spaghetti. He then cut off a piece of the meatball and sighed. "Look at that. Is it worth even trying?" he showed the meatball to Azula. She could instantly tell by its dense texture that the meatball was definitely not fresh. "Agni, it's so rubbery. I wonder if-" Ozai seemed to have a sudden idea as he picked up a napkin and cleaned all the sauce off from one of the meatballs. He then rose to his feet and dropped the meatball from shoulder height, watching in disbelief as it hit the surface of the table, bounced several inches up in the air and then landed back in his plate. Ozai burst into laughter. "I must suggest that the Fire Nation Open use these instead of regular tennis balls!"
"That would be a better use of them," Azula said, bracing herself for the lobster ravioli. If there was anything potentially deadly on the menu, it was this. Fortunately, having taken her first bite, Azula immediately relaxed. This was perfectly harmless, gross store-bought ravioli. It was obviously inedible, but at least it would not make her vomit.
"That does not look good," Ozai shook his head.
"It's not good," Azula shook her head. "I don't care what the waitress is saying, this isn't homemade. It tastes like mushy baby food. It has to be store-bought."
"I knew it," Ozai nodded. "And what's with all the parsley? That's way too much parsley all over it. Gross," he shook his head, once again calling Yue over. Azula didn't exactly agree with her father on the issue of parsley. She didn't mind it at all. Sometimes her father came off as being almost parsley-phobic.
"Are you done with these?" Yue asked. "Shall I take them away?"
"Yes please, and the sooner, the better," Ozai rolled his eyes. "Also, you said that the lobster was fresh?" he asked angrily, pointing at Azula's disappointing ravioli.
"I'm sorry," Yue blinked in confusion. "I must have misunderstood you, Chef. You were nodding at the lobster tank, so I assumed that you were asking about the lobsters in the tank."
"What?" Ozai looked outraged while Azula was struggling not to laugh. "What else are the lobsters in the tank supposed to be if not fresh?" her father yelled. "Agni, you really are the stereotypical stupid blonde, aren't you?"
"Y-yes, Chef," Yue managed, her lower lip trembling again as she turned away. She was full on crying by the time she reached the kitchen. Azula couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
Their next dishes, blackened salmon for Azula and reindeer sausage with mash and gravy were no longer delivered by Yue. Instead, they were brought over by a young man with his head fully shaved and covered in traditional Air Nation tattoos. "Hello, my name is Aang," he introduced himself cheerfully. "I'll be taking over the service from now. Yue had to deal with a small emergency." Azula was quite sure that the real reason for Yue's absence was that Ozai had simply gotten to her, which was in no way surprising. Still, it seemed that Yue had a very thin skin and to Azula, it felt like she wasn't well suited to dealing with customers because she fell apart very quickly.
"Okay, so far they're 0 for 4. I'm not about to give that donut half a point just for not overcooking the spaghetti," Ozai snorted, cutting off a piece of the reindeer sausage. Much to Azula's surprise, her father did not spit it out ten seconds later. Instead, he actually finished chewing and swallowed it. "Oh, miracle of miracles, not everything here sucks," Ozai exclaimed dramatically. "The sausage is actually good."
"Shocking," Azula remarked, then examining her own dish. She actually liked the neat presentation of her plate, but the blackened salmon looked overcooked. "Oh dear, this is way overcooked," she shook her head, having taken a bite. "And there's way too much garlic. It's another miss, I'm afraid."
"I'm not bloody surprised," Ozai snorted. "They had a winner with this sausage, but then they went and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. They had the audacity to serve a delicious sausage with hideous instant mash and gravy that's basically just pure grease. Damn. What a shame," her father shook his head.
"I'm sure they have left the best for last," Azula added sarcastically as the Air Nation lad whose name she had already managed to forget came over to pick up their plates and retreat with a muted apology.
"Well, it's been predictably dire so far," Ozai shrugged. It took a wait of less than ten minutes for him to receive his reindeer burger and Azula her mushroom risotto. "And here we go with the final insult," Ozai growled, having cut his burger in two to reveal that it was pink on the inside. "That donkey has a career in a crappy fast-food place where he can fry off hotdogs all day, because he clearly can't cook anything more complicated than a sausage. Serving me a burger that's still raw? What a complete twat!"
"This doesn't look any more promising," Azula sighed, looking at the risotto on her plate. The risotto appeared to be of a somewhat dubious color and held clear potential of food poisoning for Azula. It was only with great reluctance that she took a spoonful of the risotto and shoved it into her mouth. Azula was surprised that the taste of the risotto was actually not bad, however, the glue-like consistency of it was all wrong.
"That looks hilariously bad," Ozai laughed, reaching for her plate. "It actually sticks to the plate like glue," he said, looking amused. "Oh, I know what we should do. Sit still and don't move," Ozai ordered, getting up to his feet and coming over to Azula's side of the table. He then held the plate of risotto above Azula's head and flipped it over. Azula froze in terror, expecting disgusting gloopy clumps of risotto to fall on her head and become stuck in her hair, but much to her relief, the risotto held together in one sticky blob that seemed inseparable from the plate. This was just like her father to terrorize her with potential humiliation. Of course, everyone would have tuned in to see risotto flowing down her face and spawning memes of Risotto Hair Princess. Her humiliation was apparently great for ratings.
"Well, I guess you got lucky," Ozai laughed when the risotto still refused to drip down onto Azula's head. "Remember to thank the chefs for sending you such a crappy risotto. Anyway, I think it's time to visit the architects of this culinary disaster. You there!" he yelled at the Air Nation waiter. "Take us to the kitchen. It's time to yell at the chefs."
"Of course," Aang said, trying to maintain an air of cheerfulness as he led them to the kitchen. "I'm sorry that you weren't happy with your meals. Sokka and Suki are genuinely trying their best, I swear."
"Well, their best is clearly not good enough," Ozai ranted as they finally reached the kitchen. It was a rather cramped space, and Azula had expected to find it way more chaotic and rundown. Unlike most of the restaurants she had visited while doing the show, the surfaces in this kitchen appeared relatively clean from what Azula could see. The issues in this restaurant didn't seem to stem from the owners and staff being lazy. "Well, where do I even begin? That was absolutely miserable," Ozai began his tirade at the three people in the kitchen, the two owners and the other cook who was working together with the owner, Sokka. Suki appeared to be of a similar age to Azula, and just like all the other women working in this restaurant, she was also unfairly attractive. Suki had short auburn hair, a light smattering of freckles across her cheeks and the cutest slightly upturned nose. With gorgeous women like Katara, Yue and Suki around, Azula's inner lesbian was feeling like a little girl in a candy store.
"Was it really that bad?" Katara asked with naïve hopefulness. "I didn't think our food was the best in the neighborhood, but I thought it was at least average?"
"When was the last time you went out to eat at another restaurant in the neighborhood?" Azula countered with a question of her own. "I can assure you that you are way below the competition that's out there."
"Yeah, you need to pull your head out of your ass and get real," Ozai snapped. "Let's go over everything, shall we? The eggplant, crunchy and bitter, disgusting! Spaghetti meatballs, disappointing. How old were those meatballs? They were absolutely rubbery! The burger was undercooked. Did you hear me ask for steak tartare? Why would you send me raw meat? You're crazy!" Ozai stopped for a moment to draw breath before he unloaded with the second salvo. "But the sausage was the greatest insult of them all! How dare you ruin an actually perfectly cooked sausage with that disgusting instant mash and greasy gravy! You call yourselves chefs? You're a pair of pillocks!" Ozai glared at Sokka and Suki before turning to Azula. "Tell them about your meal, darling."
"Well, I had an equally miserable experience," Azula said. "The crab cakes were old and bland, and felt like they came straight out of the microwave?" she asked, looking around the kitchen, only to realize that there were no microwaves in sight. Sokka and Suki were acting very confused by her accusation, but Azula was certain that she was not mistaken and her food had been microwaved. "Anyway, the salmon was overcooked and I couldn't taste anything else but garlic. The risotto actually had a nice taste, but it was ruined by the glue-like consistency. Ugh, it's still sticking to my gums," Azula shuddered. "I think that was all. No, wait, the lobster ravioli. Those were storebought, weren't they? They did not taste fresh at all."
"You have fresh lobster available," Ozai jumped right back in. "What's the big idea serving us frozen, storebought crap? What's wrong with you, head chef?" he glared at Sokka. Sokka flinched, muttering something under his breath. "Speak up! I can't hear you!"
"I don't actually know how to work with lobster," Sokka admitted unhappily.
"And you call yourself head chef?" Ozai exploded. "Do you actually have any previous experience?"
"Hey, I'm not a complete dingus, okay?" Sokka shot back heatedly. "I studied for four months under Master Bato!"
"Well, the only thing he must have taught you was how to masturb-" Ozai's foul-mouthed tirade was interrupted by the Air Nation server boy dropping a plate that shattered in a remarkable bit of comical timing which drowned out the obscenities uttered by Azula's father.
"Call me names if you must, but I'm not going to stand here and let you insult Bato," Sokka huffed angrily. "He's an old friend of the family, and a very good chef!"
"To be honest, Sokka, Bato has spent the past fifteen years running a Water Tribe fast food joint where he blasts sea prunes in vats of boiling oil," Katara pointed out with a conflicted look on her face. "Also, your four months of apprenticeship under Bato was basically running a food cart for his business. I don't know how much of what you learned there helps with what you're doing now."
"Traitor," Sokka hissed at his sister. "Throwing your own brother under the bus." Azula glanced at her father, noticing that he was practically salivating at this exchange. No doubt he was already planning some deceptive editing to portray Sokka and Katara as being at each other's throats.
"I'm not throwing you under the bus," Katara snapped. "I just think that they need to know as much as possible in order to help us."
"Absolutely," Azula said. "That includes also telling us about any microwaving that might be taking place in this kitchen."
Katara opened her mouth to reply, but Sokka cut in first. "We're not doing any microwaving," Sokka said quickly. "In this kitchen," he then added in a weird way that made both Katara and Suki roll their eyes. The strange evasiveness about the microwaving was throwing Azula for a loop.
"Well, you can continue your childish bickering, if that's what you want," Ozai said. "Azula and I are leaving, but we'll be back later for the dinner service. We need more information before we can decide how or if this restaurant can even be saved. Come, Azula," Ozai turned and stomped out of the kitchen, leaving a reluctant Azula with no other options but to follow her father.
"Well, that somehow went worse than I expected, and to be fair, I did expect to get yelled at," Sokka sighed. It was a couple of hours before the start of the dinner service, and the entire restaurant staff had gathered upstairs to destress following their first encounter with Ozai Nakamura and his daughter. "I'm having second thoughts about all of this, you know. So far, he hasn't actually said anything constructive. Yelling about how everything sucks isn't helpful."
"I'm sure he'll get around to that, Sokka," Suki spoke up, sitting next to her boyfriend in the loveseat. "That's why he needs to see us during a normal service, too."
"It's not going to feel entirely normal, though, not with those cameras and filming crews everywhere," Katara frowned. Ozai's people had installed cameras some five days ago, and Katara wasn't sure if they had always remembered about their presence at the restaurant. The cameras were limited to the dining room, the kitchen and some of the hallways, but still, Katara was worried that they might have caught some candid conversations when they had forgotten about the surveillance.
"I don't like this, and I hate that man," Yue sniffed, sitting next to Katara on one of the sofas. Jet was leaning out of the window nearby, smoking, while Toph and Aang sat on the other sofa. "I wish we hadn't agreed to this."
"I'm sorry he was so mean to you," Katara said, putting an arm around Yue's shoulders and pulling her into a hug. She felt sorry for her best friend and ex-girlfriend, but at the same time, Katara also wished that Yue could somehow learn not to take everything so personally. Katara knew it wasn't easy, though, and she hated not being able to give Yue more support at the front of the house.
"It's going to work out just fine, you'll see," Jet said, pulling back from the window. He tossed the butt of his cigarette and a few moments later they could hear an annoyed yell from down on the street. "We just have to endure one week and you'll see that the rewards will be absolutely worth it."
"They better be," Sokka frowned, giving Jet a stink-eye. "It was your idea after all."
"Okay, let's not put it all on Jet just because it was his idea, it was a joint decision in the end," Katara felt obliged to come to her boyfriend's defense.
"Thanks, babe," Jet grinned at her. "Just remember that Ozai Nakamura yells at everyone regardless of what they do, so there's really no reason to take things personally."
"Kind of hard when you're being called a stupid blonde bimbo," Yue sniffed.
"Yeah, I hated that," Suki said angrily, with Katara nodding in agreement. "You're not stupid, Yue. You're one smart lady."
"I just get so easily flustered," Yue sighed. "Especially by someone like him. At least his daughter didn't seem as mean. And she looked just as glamorous as I expected."
"Yes, Azula has been the highlight of this visit so far," Katara remarked, grinning when she caught Jet's reproachful stare.
"Like I said, she's a total snack," Suki laughed, earning herself a shoulder bump from a slightly miffed Sokka. "And while she might not have been as critical as her father, she was awfully curious about us microwaving food. I have a feeling that she won't drop it."
"Guys, does it really make sense that we're trying to hide it?" Aang asked, looking confused. "We already agreed that they're here to help and they need to have an accurate picture of what's going on. It seems silly."
"I think it is silly," Katara shrugged.
"No way," Toph protested. "I've listened to some of the shows where he found out that the food was being microwaved. He always ends up throwing the microwaves out. If he did that, I'd be out of a job!"
"We would find something else for you, Toph, I promise," Katara said earnestly.
"We would try to, anyway," Sokka said, sounding less certain. "It's not just about Toph's job, though. I'm worried that if he found out about the scope of our microwaving operation, he might become so pissed that he would walk out on us. He sometimes does that to some of the really hopeless places."
"I don't think we're hopeless," Suki shrugged. "I just think that we have room for improvement and those two are the experts. Besides, they will be in the kitchen during the dinner service. We're not going to be able to keep Toph's microwaving station a secret."
"No, you're right," Sokka admitted. "Obviously, instead of being honest about our practices and telling Ozai and Azula the truth, we will instead attempt a needlessly convoluted plan to fool them. Hmm, but how to approach this…"
"Well, if you want my advice," Jet spoke up. Sokka's look clearly suggested that he didn't want Jet's advice, not that it was going to stop Jet. "You can't go through the kitchen. Why don't we have the servers write two tickets, one for the food that is cooked in the kitchen and another that goes downstairs to Toph."
"Yes! Brilliant!" Sokka exclaimed, snapping his fingers. He then remembered that the advice had come from Jet and his expression soured immediately. "I mean, I guess it could work. Yue, you can just bring one ticket to me and Suki, and the other to Toph."
"That sounds like a terrible idea," Yue sighed. "It's twice the work for me, Sokka. I might need Aang helping me full time in that case."
"Sure," Aang seemed all too happy to agree. "But I won't have enough time to wash the dishes and do extra prep during the service if we start running out of things. I guess I could go and do that extra prep now…"
"Sure, let's go and take care of that, Twinkletoes. I'll help you," Toph said, rising and dragging Aang off with her. "I'll even get you a bottle of your favorite root beer."
"I feel like we have that sorted," Sokka said, leaning back and stretching his limbs. "It seems like what we have is a fool proof plan. What could possibly go wrong?"
"What indeed," Jet snorted. "I guess I'll go and take one more look at the inventory. We wouldn't want to run out of anything in the middle of service. Both Ozai and Azula have been posting on social media about visiting our restaurant, so you can bet that the evening service will be busy. Which means I should probably be off," Jet said, his eyes lingering on Katara. "Unless you needed me for something else, boss?"
"Seriously, Jet?" Suki rolled her eyes. "Ozai Nakamura is visiting us, and instead of making sure that we aren't short on ingredients, you would rather squeeze in a quickie between services?"
"I'm sure he didn't mean that," Katara said quickly, her face burning lightly.
"Yeah, right," Sokka snorted. "Anyway, I'm going to have a short carb nap before the service. You coming?" he elbowed Suki lightly.
"I feel too hyped for a nap, really," Suki replied. "I'm way too restless to lay down right now." She looked over at Yue and Katara. "How about we crack open a bottle of wine and gossip about how unfairly gorgeous Azula Nakamura is?"
"That sounds like a great idea, Suki," Yue beamed, suddenly looking a lot happier.
"I'll join you for that," Katara laughed. "Let's objectify and rate the hell out of Azula based on every aspect we can think of. She'll be a high-scorer for sure."
"They really are weird about this Azula chick, aren't they?" Jet looked over at Sokka. Even if Sokka found their fixation with Azula annoying, he still wasn't going to agree with Jet, simply shrugging instead. "Anyway, I'm out of here."
"See you later, babe," Katara replied distractedly, watching Suki fetch a bottle of merlot and three glasses. In a few hours, they were all probably going to get yelled at once again. Until then, Katara figured that they might as well have some fun.