"Uh... Well..." Iida attempted, clearing his throat to get the meeting back on track. "Since they don't have anything to add, let's take a vote for the activity—and you can't vote for one that you suggested. We'll put our plan into action next weekend, so we have plenty of time to prepare. I hope all of you will participate!"

Midoriya leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling in self-disgust and annoyance. He'd been working so diligently this past week to better himself, training and studying as intensely as possible so that he might one day be worthy of the title, 'hero'.

Sure, he'd been a tad more reserved and serious than he had been in the past, but that was just because he'd matured. His classmates were still clinging to the belief that they'd achieve some idyllic future just because they wanted it, but that isn't how life worked.

Midoriya knew better than most that achievements were hard-fought and sorely won; if he was going to live up to All Might's expectations, he couldn't keep slacking off and coasting on his borrowed quirks. He was just trying to become the person he'd swore he'd be... any irritation being directed at them was because they were interfering with his progress. Why couldn't his friends see that?

Clearly, he'd severely misjudged the differences in their mindsets as well as how much personality change he could get away with right away. Though it didn't particularly matter to him that they didn't understand his point of view, Midoriya knew that he couldn't simply ignore their concerns.

His return to classes was still probationary and for whatever reason, the UA staff was just as delusional about the coming reality as their pupils. If his nosey classmates had taken an unwanted interest in his new behavior, it wouldn't be long before the teachers did too... if some goody-two-shoes didn't decide to key them in first, that is.

As the voices and pattering of feet tapered off, Midoriya stepped out of his hiding spot and headed to his room, considering. None of his classmates seemed particularly close to 'calling in reinforcements' yet; this misstep could still be salvaged.

All Midoriya had to do was follow the advice his predecessor had given him the year before when 'Blackwhip' first manifested and spiraled into a frenzy. If he just kept his heart under control and didn't allow himself to show the impatience he felt with other students and his own skill, there was nothing for him to fear.

Easier said than done. Time and time again he'd given in to his emotions because that was just the kind of weak-willed loser he was. Now, he was a psychologically ruined weak-willed loser. Wonderful.

But maybe that came with its own advantages? Midoriya tapped his bottom lip, chasing that thought. The more he'd become overwhelmed by his trauma, the less he experienced emotionally overall... It was like taking a drug. The first several times are intense because the chemical overruns the body's receptors, but eventually, those receptors die from the assault, and it takes more and more drugs to get the same effect.

Obviously, the hellish things that Shigaraki had put him through would be the most effective memories to pull from. Even during his talks with Recovery Girl, he never went into great detail; just enough to convince her that he was able to accept and move on from what had been done to him. That was his mistake, Midoriya assumed. He should never have tried to protect his psyche; just like a muscle, it was bound to grow back stronger after being damaged. Right?

If he was trying to desensitize himself to everything, then it was logical to burn his nerves with trauma so severe it couldn't be outdone in terms of emotional reactivity. It was basically what he'd done with the scars on his chest and back. Forced himself to look at them daily until they didn't make him flinch and tear up.

"I'll run simulations in my head..." Midoriya told himself, comparing the process to the visualization training he'd done to regulate the output of his quirks. "Replay all the experiences that caused me to feel out of control so that I can learn to turn off that reaction completely."

Midoriya took a deep breath, his heart rate already spiking. He sat cross-legged on his bed and closed his eyes, taking himself back to the moment he'd been warped away from Bakugo and Todoroki.

*Flashback*

Midoriya landed on his stomach, thudding ungracefully on a pristine white floor. He was quick to roll onto his back, whipping his head around as he took in his surroundings; the room he'd been taken to looked like a medical office of some kind, the walls lined with diagrams of body parts and gene theory.

"So, this is the one that has our Master and Tomura so infuriated." A man spoke smoothly, stepping out from behind a curtain as he addressed Kurogiri. "It seems to me it would be easier to kill the child now rather than go through all this indecency."

"You know why we cannot do that, doctor. Now please, the medication. Tomura is not patient on his best days, and it would be unwise to keep him waiting when he is so excited to break this boy." Kurogiri responded plainly.

In terms of youth and basic strength, Midoriya had the upper hand. He struggled and twisted, repeatedly jerking his body to prevent the 'doctor' from getting a solid grip on him. The glistening syringe was terrifyingly large and filled with an unknown goo; there was no way he'd willingly let himself be injected.

"Damnit." the doctor grunted. "If you don't want to keep Shigaraki waiting then I suggest you hold the runt down. If I miss and hit something I shouldn't, he'll probably go blind permanently."

"What?" Midoriya shrieked, thrashing even more wildly despite the apparent risk to his vision. He kicked his bound feet at his captors repeatedly, scooting himself away like a slug with panic. "Ge-get away from me!"

"Do not struggle; you are merely wasting what energy you have on us. I assure you that you will want every ounce of strength you have left at your disposal later." Kurogiri instructed soothingly, his mist pouring out to ward off any strikes until he could restrain Midoriya. "Tomura Shigaraki is not going to let you leave this place as you are now... of that, you must be aware."

Midoriya hissed when the sharp jab of metal pushed into the center of his back, a searing pain following on the heels of whatever was being injected into him. Dizziness nipped at his equilibrium, eyes rolling around as his surroundings began to blur and fade away.

"N-no!" he shouted, shaking his head vigorously. "I won't! I won't give in!"

His hair was gripped tightly, lifting him off the ground before slamming him face-first back into the tile. Midoriya whimpered from the impact, knowing immediately that his nose had been broken. He coughed when he was released, sputtering from the immediate gush of blood across his lips and down his throat.

"Be warned, this is the least painful act that will be done to you today," Kurogiri whispered darkly while undoing the cuffs on his ankles, the sound and finality of his words making Midoriya's stomach sink as low as it possibly could.

He barely had time to process the terrifying notion before he was whisked away once more, dropped without care somewhere else. Midoriya swallowed the thick blood in his throat and rolled to his back as he'd done earlier, awkwardly touching the floor as he tried to analyze his new surroundings without being able to see or smell anything.

The ground was sticky and covered in what he hoped was grime, coarse and rough like the concrete he'd been on earlier. It was colder wherever he'd been taken too, goosebumps rushing across his prickling skin.

Midoriya could hear movement coming from somewhere, but couldn't pinpoint exactly who it was coming from, the sound too distorted and muffled by what he assumed must be walls. Hastily, he maneuvered to his feet, crouching and preparing himself for whatever was coming.

The door creaked open...

*End Flashback*

Midoriya covered his ears with his hands, trying to block out that ominous sound like it wasn't just a terrible memory. Now that he knew what was going to happen, it seemed so much more terrifying than it had been back then.

Deep, shaking breaths filled Midoriya's lungs to their brims before being forced outward with heated panic. He wouldn't give in to his wretched feelings this time, after all, if he hadn't succumbed to them that terrible night, then Bakugo and Todoroki wouldn't have disowned him.

Snarling, Midoriya bared his teeth against the seizing in his organs, glaring through clenched eyes. He refused to let one more tear slip out and betray the person he was going to become. "Keep. Going."

Class went by slowly the following morning, but Midoriya was somewhat grateful for that. There had been a gleam in Aizawa's eyes during homeroom that he was sure had been directed his way... If he had to guess, it likely had something to do with the boulder incident and his ability to activate his quirk while taking suppression medication.

The Pro had told him that he was going to be speaking with Recovery Girl about the dosage and Aizawa wasn't one to procrastinate. Midoriya was genuinely surprised that the old nurse hadn't forced two pills down his throat instead of one that morning... or benched him from training altogether.

"Are you alright, Izuku?"

Todoroki's voice made him want to shiver. It was so soft and low, ghosting against the shell of his ear as he leaned close to whisper. The sensation was gone moments later though, its impact fleeting like snow hitting warm skin. "Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine."

Midoriya peered around his peripheral as he responded, wary of his classmates' vigilant eyes and ears. From the meeting he'd eavesdropped on the night before, he understood they'd been watching him closely and probably were still, just waiting for a crack in his demeanor that was wide enough for them to pry open. Midoriya couldn't give them one.

"Sorry," he added bashfully, turning to look at Todoroki fully like he would have pre-kidnapping. "I guess I'm a little nervous about training today. Recovery Girl didn't mention any changes to my medicine when I went to her office this morning, so, I'm not sure what Mr. Aizawa is going to have me doing."

"I see..." Todoroki hummed.

Midoriya could already tell another offer to be training buddies was coming. It wasn't as if he wasn't grateful on some level. With their powerful quirks, combat sense, and unique fighting styles, Bakugo and Todoroki had been excellent sparring partners... but that was before.

Even with grueling, intensive training, Midoriya knew it would be months before his body was rebuilt to its 'former glory' which was a pitiful thought in and of itself. That insecurity alone was enough to block any notion of working out with powerhouses like those two.

Now there was a second and arguably more pressing reason why he shouldn't train with them. "I know you and Kacchan are going to ask since you do every day, but I still think I should train on my own if Mr. Aizawa doesn't put me back in the observation room. My quirk went out of control again, remember?"

"Isn't that just more reason for one of us to be there?" Bakugo argued over his shoulder, pulling Midoriya's attention back to the front. "Maybe... Maybe we could do something to help if it happens again."

"Yes, Izuku." Todoroki agreed, his own voice buzzing with an edge of desperate hope just like his new 'best friend'. "That's all we want to do... Help you, like you've always helped us."

Don't feel. Smile. Lie if necessary. Control.

Midoriya grinned, shaking his head with blushing appreciation. "You both are so sweet, and I do miss training with you... But I don't need help."

I don't need help from anyone. Not anymore...