127: Someone needs to put a stop to this.

"How the hell are you alive!?" Jason blurts, staring at Nobunaga's disembodied head.

"Well!" She says. "It's kind of a long story, but basically this has happened to me before. It turns out, if Ranmaru gets summoned, my head becomes his Noble Phantasm, since he hid it after I died. It was harmless back then because my Avenger form is a little special in terms of its durability, but now, even though I got turned into an Archer again when I was summoned here, it seems like I can survive for a little bit after getting decapitated!"

Jason seems to age another ten years as he rubs his eyes. "...Sure, why not."

"...Fascinating," Says-

"Asclepius!?" Jason staggers backwards as a new Servant wearing a long black robe and a beaked mask suddenly appears in the cell with them, accompanied by a floating mechanical snake. "What-!? How-!?"

"I don't know why you're confused, you're the one who summoned me here," The newcomer mumbles as he picks up Nobunaga's head and begins examining it.

"Wha… You mean my Noble Phantasm!? That was a week ago! I can't even use it anymore!" Jason screams, pointing at him.

"The summons didn't catch my interest until now," He replies. "I see… you said your head became a Noble Phantasm in the past? That clearly isn't what has happened here, though… Heh… hehehe… this might be just the kind of study I need. I'll begin the procedure right away."

"What procedure…?" Jason mutters, massaging his temples. "No, I'm getting distracted. Blackbeard-"

"Hmph. I've already learned my lesson. Friendship… is impossible," says the scruffy-looking pirate, turning to face away.

"...Huh?"

Blackbeard sniffs, wipes fake tears from his eyes, and sniffs again. "I tried… I tried to be friendly, but… it was impossible after all."

"I'll punch you," Jason says, seeing through the fake emotions in a second.

""Boohoo… boohoo… now he's threatening to punch me… boohoo…"

"Fine! I'm sorry for yelling! Are you happy!?" The blond says with irritation dripping from his voice.

"That's not why I'm upset… the reason I'm upset is…" The Pirate breathes in, and a composed look washes over his face, before - "How dare you summon another guy in here! It was already too much with just you and me! Summon a cute girl instead!"

"Ah, that's a Blackbeard answer, right there…" Nobunaga mutters as Asclepius holds her upside down, probing at her neck with a small silver tool. "Hey, w-wait, that tickles! Also all the blood is rushing to my head, so turn me rightside up already-!"

"You're experiencing hypotension in this state? Fu, fufufu, how astounding," The doctor mutters, chuckling like a mad scientist.

"Would you all be serious for just thirty seconds!?" Jason shouts. "Look, before anything else - Blackbeard, you had the grail, right?"

"Nah, it got stolen by some girl disguised as an idol, a little bit after I lost my ship," the pirate sighs. "How the hell was I supposed to know her singing was so awful it would knock me out!?"

"Oh come on, it's not even Halloween yet!" Nobunaga yells.

With closed eyes and gritted teeth, Jason manages to endure her non-sequitur without shouting. "Someone you know?"

"Elizabeth Bathory, it's gotta be," The Archer says. "Self-proclaimed idol with a sonic breath weapon that ruins all her singing, and a penchant for finding random Holy Grails lying around, usually just in time to trigger another repetitive holiday event? That's gotta be Elizabeth. Actually, this makes perfect sense! I knew just Gudaguda particles wouldn't be enough for the level of silliness on display right now, but if they're interacting with Eliza particles-!"

"Of course, the presence of unknown particles must be the cause of this bizarre disease!" Asclepius shouts, dropping Nobunaga's head on the ground, where she starts screaming as she rolls away.

"Based on what evidence!?" Jason protests.

"It's simple math, you just have to carry the three," The Caster says as he gestures to a nonsensical equation etched into the cave wall.

"When did you write that!?"

"I just need to find a way to reproduce them en-masse, and then…" He continues, chuckling under his breath.

"Um, guys?" Says Nobunaga. "I got out."

Sure enough, the severed head has rolled out of the gaps between the bars in the crude bamboo cell.

"Really!?" Blackbeard shouts. "See if you can roll around and get a key!"

"...First of all, it's just a latch with a knot," Jason groans. "Second of all, we're Servants, we can just break this. Third of all, even if we couldn't, we could just turn into spirit form and slip out."

"Well, sure, but where's the romance in that?" The pirate asks.

Asclepius reaches through the bars and unhooks the latch, stepping out to retrieve his specimen. "...My apologies. You aren't damaged, are you?"

"Nobbu! Nob bu bu bu!" A mini-nobbu guard screams as she runs away down a tunnel.

"Wait, are you actually breaking out!?" Blackbeard says. "Why don't you just give up and let them recapture you?"

"...Why?" Asks Jason. "No, for that matter, how did you even get locked up here long term in the first place?"

"Nob-buaaahhh!" As if to emphasize his point, a squad of yelling mini-nobbus running into the chamber containing the cell is sent scattering like bowling pins as Asclepius directs his familiar to attack them.

"I mean, these girls are super cute, right?" Blackbeard says with an 'innocent' smile. "They're trying their best!"

"Nobwah!" One of them screams as it disintegrates into golden dust, leaving behind-

"Huh, seems like they're dropping limited edition idol merch this time," Nobunaga says.

-In an instant, the cavern is filled with the stench of gunpowder and the screams of mini-nobbus. Stepping through the smoke and admiring his carnage, Blackbeard grins. "Let's kill as many as we can!"

"Incredible! There are particles flowing into you from those defeated creatures to prolong your existence! Heh, heh, heh, this is fantastic!" Asclepius shouts. "Let's kill as many as we can!"

"...Why are you both like this?" Jason groans.

What follows is a long, tiring, grind of frankly boring combat as, unaided by Noble Phantasms, the three combat-capable servants carve a path through wave after wave of increasingly strange mini-nobbus.

"NOBBOAAAH!" Shouts a large one in a familiar voice as it fires nine lasers from its mouth.

"Does that one have Heracles's voice…?" Asks Asclepius as Blackbeard charges between the lasers to plunge a hook on his wrist into its stomach..

"Hm, if the HeraNobus are showing up, things are getting really bad," the disembodied head he's still dutifully carrying mutters. "We should be careful of any-"

"Nob nob nob nob!" Shouts another with the voice of Cu Chulainn as she raises a stone spear. "[Nob-" She's engulfed by a puff of blue fire from Asclepius's mechanical snake before she can finish, and collapses into a pile of golden dust and music CDs.

"Oi, Nobunaga. If you somehow survive this… you better not ever summon these things again," Jason mutters with a glare.

Finally, the group reach the candlelit shrine that Jason was dragged to before, where the apparent leader of the tribe had declared his sentence.

"Nob! Nob Nobubu Nobbu!" Shouts the Mini-Nobbu behind the curtain, and draws it back to reveal-

"No… this can't be!" Nobunaga shouts as she sees the blue bodysuit and white armor the chibi creature is wearing.

"Nobbu, nob nob nobbu no no nobubu Mini-Nobbu nobubu, Nobunaga…" She says, pulling off her hat to reveal spiky black hair, and striking the signature pose of her namesake. "Nob, Vegenobbu, nob nobubu nobbu… nobu nobububu SUPER NOBBU! Wahahaha!"

"Hmph," Nobunaga huffs. "There's no such thing as a Super Nobbu! That's just a story you stupid chibis made up to pass around a campfire!"

"What did my brain ever do to you? Why are you hurting it like this?" Jason asks.

"NobuuuUUUUUUUU!" Vegenobbu starts to shout as energy crackles around her, her hair flickering golden-

BLAM! "Nobwah!?"

A gunshot rings out, and the legendary Super-Nobbu dies like all the rest. "I always wondered why no one attacks in the middle of a transformation sequence," Blackbeard says.

The three-and-a-half Servants exit the seaside cavern to the fury of a fresh storm.

""I thought the storm was over at this point…" Jason mutters.

"Well, I don't feel like getting rained on, so I'm going back to the cave-!" Blackbeard starts.

""No, you're not,"" Say Jason and Nobunaga at the same time.

There's a tense moment of silence as the three eye each other for a moment.

"...You figured it out, huh?" Blackbeard asks, and for the first time, his eyes seem to grow serious.

"I think we all saw the deeper tunnels behind that curtain, and it's obvious from the sheer numbers of those things…" Jason says.

"Yeah, they've totally got the grail at this point," Nobunaga completes.

"Question is… do you really think you can stop me?" The Pirate asks, and lightning crashes, lighting up the sinister angles of his face as he draws a pistol.

Jason smirks "Heh, don't underestimate my buddy- oi, Asclepius!? Where are you going!? Don't just walk away!"

"Yeah, what about the Holy Grail!? You're a Servant, don't you want it!?" Nobunaga, still in the doctor's grip, shouts.

"That isn't important now. I need to find my patient's body before she expires. Heh, heheheh. To reattach a severed head to the body-!" Asclepius laughs delightedly. "Surely, this is a perfect study for me!"

"Right, I forgot you were crazy…" Jason mutters.

"...So, what'll it be?" Blackbeard asks, hand not leaving his flintlock. "The tone's been pretty lighthearted so far, but we both know these kind of things can-"

At that moment, he falls silent. All four people present do. The rain itself seems to freeze in the air, not daring to make a sound. The warm wind and wet rain are almost nonexistent. The only feeling, the only sensation, is a terrible, overwhelming pressure.

And, in the distance, as stars begin to vanish from the cloud-swept sky, the true enemy emerges.

A/N: I am not liable for any brain damage incurred by reading this chapter. I am, however, deeply sorry.