Rabbid Guy (FFN)

by Silverwingsdragon

Worked into perpetual exhaustion at his new job, it was only a matter of time before Guy's delirious self got into an truly bizarre accident. By day, he's an ordinary man only trying to make a living, but by night he turns into his rabbid self to let loose and really live. If only his human persona remembered any of it. Cover by PuzzledDonkey !

4. Brand New Person

While they walked the sun went down over the neighborhood.

For most people, it was time to settle down, but for Guy it was all coming back, only beginning. Yesterday when he curled up on the beach to sleep into morning, he had accepted this as who he was forever. Now partially undone, he felt cheated. He said forever because he assumed he'd left everything behind. With him shifting back and forth, he could have it all, but for what? Last night he'd said goodbye to everything he used to value. He didn't need it, especially as a rabbid. Yet it was only a matter of time before he'd think he did. He'd go back to work, show up at family gatherings, take care of his house and watch his tv shows, as a more paranoid version of himself.

Remembering today felt oddly third person. If he had remembered last night while he was human he would've acted far differently throughout. Instead he was stuck reliving it like a speechless shadow, embarrassed he didn't know better, but unable to affect the past.

He looked to see Stickers and Tie leading him now. Guy had been such a nuisance, yet they were still excited to see him. It was Tie for the most part, but Guy was hoping he was reading Stickers as more skeptical than offended.

After the rabbid had threatened him, they had gone back to talking with him like normal, although Tie took the lead asking questions. Stickers would prod Guy whenever they felt especially curious, although were still from an anti-human point of view. It was obvious both rabbids were possessed by questions, even if he could tell some things they held back. He couldn't blame them. It was all so fantastical. The size of buildings, understanding their voices. A moment hadn't ever gone by when Guy thought about how he would describe this to a human, but he'd never questioned what rabbids would think. At least it meant Stickers might've been somewhat fascinated too, even if it was a fascination out of fear.

The rabbids were taking a route through upper middle class suburbia. Large backyards wet from evening sprinklers settled down. Inground pools and dad constructed playgrounds occasionally had a few rabbids already playing on them. Tie and Stickers waved to them as they talked. Guy did the same.

"Hey Guy, did you ever go to high school?" Tie asked.

"Yeah, but that was years ago. I more recently graduated from college. I majored in finance and had a minor in engineering. Why do you ask?"
"Oh you know, prying at other things to be jealous of.. What I'd give to go to college and prove myself an adult one day. You know, I would have graduated high school this year," Tie sighed.
"Really..?" Guy asked.
"Uh huh! I'm..." Tie thought for a moment, "I'm nineteen years old," He pointed to himself with one hand while making an 'OK' with the other, pivoting on his wrist like a blinking light, "Which makes me a senior. How old are you?" Tie asked.
"Twenty eight," Guy said.
"Wow!"
"What?"
"I don't know! That's just really cool!" Tie said. He put his thumb to his chest and wiggled what would've been his fingers.

"I'm still the eldest," Stickers bragged, "Practically forty two now."
"Forty two?" Guy gasped.
"Probably," Stickers shrugged.
"You don't know?" Guy asked. He stopped to look for cars before crossing a street, but his companions were already going ahead without looking.

"Eh. I could be off by ten years or so. How do you know you're twenty eight?" Stickers asked.
"My parents recorded the date of my birth? Didn't yours?" Guy said.
"I don't have or need any parents," Stickers said.
"Oh.. I'm sorry.." Guy said.
"About what?" Stickers was confused.

"Rabbids don't have parents, Guy! You may be the first rabbid to have ever been born! Isn't that amazing?!" Tie said.
"Starting to assume you guys weren't?" Guy asked, not sure what was so exciting, or what he was expecting.

"I wasn't! I'm a clone. Most rabbids are too. Actually, I don't know if any rabbid has ever had parents besides you.. Unless they're adopted by someone," Tie shrugged. He put his palms out facing the ground and pretended to pick something up, "It must feel good to know your parents will always be your parents. You know, since you were born to them. Nothing could take that away."

"Not unless they die," Stickers said.
"Then they'd just be dead parents. That's still parents," Tie said, frustrated.
"Not very useful though," Stickers said.
"Ok, well, at least you'd always be related, even if they died," Tie said.
"But what's the use in parents if they can't protect you?" Stickers asked.
"Parents aren't just for protection, they teach you things, give you love. They're your people.." Tie said. He made two circles touch with what would would've been his pointer fingers and thumbs, and then separated them in a circular motion like he was grouping something together.

"Rabbids are the only people I need," Stickers put his hand to his chest.
Looking forward, Stickers suddenly stopped.

Guy and Tie followed their lead. They were staring at a rabbid far ahead of them. Guy peeked over their shoulder to see who it was. Some sort of rabbid in dark clothes and green goggles.

Stickers and Tie scrambled to get out of sight by running to the side of a house into a bush. They practically took Guy's arm off pulling them with him.

"Woah woah! What are we-" Guy was cut off.
"Shh!" Tie made an 'X' with his arms before throwing them beside him. Stickers covered Guy's mouth.
They waited for a while, and then more. Guy pushed Stickers off him, but then became very still when they all saw the rabbid they were afraid of.

The mystery rabbid was confused, looking for them. His fur stood on end, his gaze seemingly thoughtless. He moved with sudden violent jerks as evidence of the berserk he held back. His outfit was made up of a military grade black uniform that fit his body perfectly as if it was tailored to him. In his hands was what at first looked like a gun, but loaded into it was a toilet plunger. Around him in a bandolier was even more of the same kind of plunger like extra sets of ammo. He narrowed his gaze in suspicion before bringing his night vision goggles to his eyes.

"Get down!" Stickers hissed. The rabbids laid on the ground to make themselves as small as possible.

The mystery rabbid approached the bush. Before he could fully investigate, a device on his wrist turned from green to red. He stopped to push a button on it. A voice came out.

"Find anybody out there? I counted ten where I am," a rabbid on the other end said.
"Fourteen. Pretty normal population. I thought I saw more, but it could've been in my head," The rabbid at the bush breathed. His sweat ran down his matted fur and launched off his lips while he spoke.
"We've been out here long enough. Let's regroup and move on."
"Yes sir.."
He stood up straight and took his goggles off before walking away.

He was long gone before Guy and his companions began to stir, realizing it was safe.

"Who was that?" Guy couldn't help but smile at the thrill.
"An antihero. Ironically, not the type of rabbids I need," Stickers said. He brushed a leaf off him and climbed out of the bush. Tie and Guy followed back to the sidewalk, but still double checked their surroundings.

"They're not so nice rabbids that you don't want to mess with. We-" Tie pointed to himself and Stickers, "-aren't like them. We don't want to take over the Earth. We don't boss rabbids around either."
"Woah woah woah! There are rabbids trying to take over the Earth..!?" Guy asked quickly.
"Well.. It's not going great.. I don't think it will happen.." Tie avoided eye contact.
"Most of us didn't come here with the best intentions," Stickers said, "But things change."

"Oh my gosh, so, so, you're aliens? People used to think rabbids were alien invaders from outer space. Is that true?" Guy couldn't help but be excited at the secrets he was hearing.

"..I was never in outer space, but sure," Stickers said.
"So you..?"
"I'm not that kind of rabbid anymore. Was hardly that to begin with," Stickers said.
"I can't believe it! You know, humans have been after this kind of information since you guys first appeared? So wait, where do you come from? From another planet? Are humans in danger?"

"Hardly," Stickers said.
"Antiheroes are a minority. And taking over the world is so fifteen years ago, and way too boring for the effort. Sharing the Earth with humans is ultimately more fulfilling! They've created a beautiful world for us to play in and be inspired by. If we got rid of humans, our lives would lose a lot of our definition, our Tullerian culture," Tie said.
"So are there are other cultures? Ones beyond Earth?" Guy asked. It was on par with asking what dinosaurs really looked like.

"I only know of one," Stickers said, putting his hand up, "A friend of mine works there. I don't recommend giving it a visit though. The powers there are far greater than the ones here. If humans from Earth found their way in, they'd probably get robbed by frog people or turned into ducks by an angry wizard. Earthlings don't make the cut, and only the bravest rabbids stick around for that nonsense."

"You.. didn't just suggest that there's a world with frog people and evil wizards right? Like, magic? Did you?" Guy couldn't decide if the rabbid was stating fact or blindsiding him with a lie he was starting to believe. Stickers looked him over.
"After everything that's happened to you, start getting used to believing things you thought were impossible before."

"Ok..Well, could I see it? If it won't take too much time?" Guy said.
"I can't do that."
"Aw really?" Guy said.
"Sorry Guy, but nobody can go there!" Tie said, "A messed up old rabbid ghost guards the staircase. If we went down, the ghost could get us!" Tie made two circle rings with his hands and made one hand fly away from the other like the flight of a specter.
"A rabbid ghost..." Guy said. How much was he seriously going to believe? "Aren't rabbids invincible? Wouldn't a ghost mean.."
"Doesn't matter what it really is. All I know is that something out there takes rabbids away, and I don't want to find out how," Stickers said.

They crossed a two-lane road to a massive shopping plaza. With plenty of walkable space, the area was alive with human patrons.

Guy recalled his previous reaction over seeing humans from the rabbid perspective.
He wished he didn't remember this now. He wished he could've gotten over it like he did a lot of things yesterday.

There was a burning in their gazes. When they looked at him, he was still trapped in shame so consuming it became impossible to see anything outside the panic. Who did he think he was? Accepting his fate as a rabbid, enjoying himself? It was almost as if he liked it, maybe even preferred it. What a perverse desire. What a betrayal to who he used to be, to his own birth. What a tragedy he was choosing to celebrate. What an absolute degenerate.

No no. He had to focus on his companions. Keep talking.

"Hey, maybe if The Antihero leaves we could all go see the staircase together someday," Tie said.
"..Y-Yeah.. Guessing you haven't seen another world before either?" Guy asked Tie, trying not to slow down. He scanned above his line of sight.
"Only ever been here! I'm one hundred percent Earthling!" Tie said, "Ok, well maybe not a hundred percent because rabbids aren't from Earth, but from my perspective, this is my home."
"..If rabbids aren't Earthlings, what does that make me now?" Guy asked. He avoided eye contact with a human passing them.
"Let's see, one hundred percent man, one hundred percent rabbid, one hundred percent biological mutant! Very jealous might I add," Tie said.
"W- That's.." He decided to lay off the math lesson, "I meant to ask where you come from? Where do your.. our people originate?" Guy asked. Tie thought for a moment and his smile faded to a face more quizzical.

"Huh.. You know, I don't really know. Hey Tuller, where do rabbids come from?" Tie asked.
"You know as much as I do," Stickers shrugged, "You could ask around, but I don't think anybody here knows that."
"Oh. Sorry we don't know that one," Tie clarified to Guy, "Hey, while we're at it, where do humans come from?"

"Earth.." Guy said.
"Oh..Oh yeah I already knew that," Tie said.

Ahead of them, a human on her phone walk-sprinted away from a rabbid with a plunger stuck on his face. Having not seen another rabbid since the antihero, Guy looked to his companions to see if they were going to hide again, but they instead moved toward the victim.

Stickers and Tie had the same idea in mind. Working together, Tie pulled on the plunger's wooden handle while Stickers pulled in the opposite direction holding the rabbid up by his feet. With great effort they pulled the rabbid free, throwing them all to the ground.
The freed victim stood up and brushed dust off himself.

"Thank you kindly," He said. He picked up a bowler hat from the sidewalk and stuck his ears through cut holes in the top, "Phew!"

More wandering rabbids with plungers on their faces weren't too far off. Stickers and Tie got to another one, who had wandered into the parking lot. Guy followed, unsure of what he should be doing.

"Those plungers are stuck pretty strong huh..?" He commented, sitting on the curb.
"Well yeah!" Tie said while pulling on another wooden handle, "They're supposed to be! If a rabbid gets one-" He paused to breathe, "-stuck on their face then they're basically useless without a strong friend!" He pulled the plunger off of the next victim, falling again. Guy watched the plunger fling out of Tie's hand and roll in a semicircle next to him. He picked it up.

"To think these gross little do-hickeys can incapacitate you just for being suction cups.." He said, investigating it. He hesitated touching the rubber part, not knowing where it's been, "Did the antiheroes do this?"
"Maybe?" Tie got up after releasing another victim, "Excuse me, were you attacked by an antihero?"
"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't...Why do you care?!" the rescued rabbid scoffed before running away.
"Rude," Stickers said.
"What was that all about?" Guy snickered.
"I don't know! Maybe his pride!" Tie put his hand to his forehead and swiped it forward with a quizzical expression, "Rabbids are complicated sometimes. Still, I'm glad you're here learning about them."

"I guess it's about time.." Guy sighed, "You are aware of what humans use these plungers for, right?" Guy pointed to the one in his hand.
"I do! I used to use them the same way. Unfortunately they're equally good, if not better at sticking to and disabling a rabbid, so it's a common weapon," Tie said.
"Gross.." Guy said. He stuck the rubber end of the plunger into the ground, disarming it.
"It's super gross! And really scary too. Some rabbids, if they get shot with one and nobody's around to help, they could end up walking further and further away from other rabbids until who knows when they'd get free! It gets tighter the longer it's on your face too. Isn't that horrible?.. Oo! A quarter!" Tie said, picking it up.

"It used to be a form of capital punishment!-" Stickers said, trying to get a plunger off another rabbid by himself, "-Back in the other world!"
Guy got up, taking the opportunity to help Stickers before Tie could. He grabbed hold of the plunger's handle while Stickers pulled the rabbid. They gave him a judgemental glare just before the plunger popped free.

Despite watching the recoil throw Tie down twice already, Guy was still surprised when his point of view was heading toward the road. He chuckled, picking himself up, but the joy he felt sharpened into fear when he realized a human could've been watching. None such existed, probably scared off by all the rabbid activity. At least he did his part so Stickers couldn't call him lazy.

"Aw isn't this so nice!" Tie said. Guy looked to see what he was referring to. The rabbids that had been rescued were returning the favor by unsticking their comrades.
"Looks like it's all good here," Stickers said.
"Yeah.." Guy said. He scanned above his natural line of sight. He couldn't help it anymore. He had to make sure he wasn't being watched. He had to make sure.

Someone was talking.
"Oh, no, it wasn't nearly as bad as I'm making it out," That voice. Guy followed it and peeked around a corner. It was coming from an outdoor seating area from a tex-mex fast food restaurant. Three men were eating and chatting, "We worked pretty well together after that. I think I just caught him on a bad day is all."
"Did you talk to your manager about him?"
"No. Come on! That would be way too petty. As far as I'm aware, I replaced him. If there's resentment, I get it. If there's a chance he wants to start over, I would take that over being a tattle any day."
"Don't look now guys. Rabbid alert," one of the men made a subtle gesture to Guy.

Only then Guy realized how far out in the open he was. He had wanted to listen in on the conversation so bad that he hadn't even realized how close he was getting to the conversers. Confirming his suspicions, he was close enough to recognize Jeremy at the table.

The young man saw him, but didn't react besides what was typical, or maybe he was just being polite. Guy was still partially in his work clothes. What if somehow, Jeremy knew?
No, that was ridiculous. He was a rabbid, and even if he was partially in his work clothes, who would make a connection like that? Still, what if Jeremy saw, or knew something Guy didn't? If he figured it out, it was only a matter of time before everyone knew he was a freak. Then what would they do with him? If people knew a man could become a rabbid, they'd never let him go. He wouldn't be able to be anything. Could people see through the transformation? What if he started turning back too soon? Was there anything human about him that would give it away?

"Guy?!" It was Tie running over. Thank goodness, "Guy, what's wrong!?"
Guy broke out of his trance, but was still afraid.
Tie noticed the men watching and pulled Guy out of their view. Stickers joined him when he realized what was going on.

"What's wrong with him?" Stickers asked.
"He's all scared again!" Tie said.
"What scared him?"
"I think it was some humans around the corner," Tie said. Stickers peeked around the corner to see them, but didn't notice anything noteworthy.
"Did they do something to him?" Stickers asked.
"I don't know! I don't think so. He was standing really still," Tie said.

Stickers thought for a moment before gasping at a vital connection.
"Guy, whatever it is, it can't hurt you," They said, "You can relax now. It's only in your head."
"..I know, I know! It's stupid," Guy avoided eye contact, embarrassed, "I don't know what keeps coming over me."
"You have a fire in your head," Stickers poked Guy's forehead, saddened, "That's awful.." They sighed, upset.

"Were you afraid of those humans just now?" Tie asked.
"I think..I think I got all turned around. I saw someone I know. I was afraid that if they saw me, they might know it was me.. somehow," Guy said.
"How would anybody be able to tell?" Tie tilted his head.
"They couldn't," Stickers said, "Not unless they already knew it was you. Does anybody know?"
"No, no, nobody does. You're right. You're right," Guy said.

He was finally starting to calm down again. He needed to be reminded. He was free, completely. Nobody was going to freak out at his existence, at least for now. They didn't know he was a human only an hour or so ago. He was going to keep an eye out for signs, but he didn't feel any symptoms of a transformation coming early either. He took a deep breath.

"You ok?" Tie asked.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm good," Guy said. To prove it more to himself, he stepped back in view of Jeremy and his friends. This time it wasn't as much of a shock, but it still wasn't comfortable. The three men noticed him again, but were so focused on another topic that they reacted even less than they had initially.

"Which ones do you know?" Tie asked.
"His name is Jeremy," Guy pointed, "When I was human today, he replaced me at work and stole my.."
Guy's eyes widened. He spotted his pen. It was on the table next to a notepad.
"You were.. replaced.. at work?" Stickers said, trying to understand any concept of it, "Just do it somewhere else?"

"He's got my pen!" Guy said, somewhat to himself.
"Your pen?" Tie asked.
"Yes! Yes! At work! I gave it to him and he never gave it back! It's my last favorite pen!" He paced in place before crossing his arms.

"Why don't you take it back?" Stickers asked.
"What?"
"You're a rabbid aren't you? You could easily go up to them and snatch it. Easy," Stickers scratched their chin in thought. Guy considered it.

"Or you could politely ask for it back," Tie said.
"Ask for it back?" Guy said, "Like this? As if they're even going to give me the time of day!"
"That's why snatching is best," Stickers said.
"Yeah, but isn't that a little mean?" Tie asked.
"We aren't the ones that stole the pen in the first place," Stickers said, "It's not even his pen."
"Still, rabbids could stand to have a better reputation around humans," Tie said.
"One rabbid isn't going to change anyone's mind," Stickers said.

While Stickers and Tie argued, Guy found his ears listening in on Jeremy's conversation. It wasn't about him anymore, or at least the person that was vaguely himself today, but they were thoroughly distracted. Stickers had a good point. He was a rabbid, and that meant he could do whatever he set his mind to, right? His human self feared it, the verminators knew it. He could take down a tractor trailer. It was about time he acted like it. He got low and began to inch toward the men in a direction they weren't expected to look.

"Since we're here please don't get hungry at the casino," One of Jeremy's friends said.
"Fair. But I'm still getting drinks. My sister said they make a really sweet mudslide so I promised her I would try it," The other friend said.
The closer Guy got, the stranger he felt looking up at them.
"Guess I'm designated then?" Jeremy said.
"If you don't mind?" The first friend said.
"It's cool. Before we go, can I get the address?" Jeremy took out his phone.
"It's Hollywood Monster Casino. Spelled how you think."
"Wait, how else would I spell it?"
"No other way, it's the way you think it would be spelled."
"Ok.. but you saying that makes me think there's another way to spell it. Putting it in," Jeremy said.

Guy was so close now. Too close. He inched under the table and was unsure what to do. If he didn't think of anything good, he would've wasted all the sneaking he did. His pen was directly above him, but because of his height there wasn't any way to get to it. Maybe he should've found a way to get the pen from above, or maybe he needed a confidence boost to go ahead and scare them away. How does a rabbid scare a human on purpose? Probably a good ol' fashioned 'BWAH!' or were rabbids really saying something particular when they did that? If he did this wrong it would be an embarrassing cultural appropriation moment and he'd be banned from every rabbid run online forum. He'd probably also make Stickers upset with him again.

"Alright you ready?"
"Yeah I'm stuffed, let's go,"
The men got up from their tables and grabbed their things. One of the men double took and saw Guy under their table, which caused him to jump up and away while accidentally throwing his chair down by mistake. Guy winced at the noise.

"OH GEEZ! R-Rabbid!" The man squeaked. The other friend hid behind Jeremy, who held onto a chair like a shield just in case Guy moved. Within the same grasp was the pen.
Guy's eyes and Jeremy's met, but instead of looking away Guy held it, concentrated, and found that Jeremy did the same.

"Dude let's go! Any later and we're going to have to park a mile away! Just book it! Come on!"
Jeremy broke contact and ran away with his friends, who were hollering and turning around to see if Guy was chasing them.

Guy came out from under the table, but didn't attempt any chase. Stickers and Tie met back up with him. They followed his gaze.

"Hey, Jerry, look who's taking my advice. I would have just flipped the table though," Stickers said. Tie rolled his eyes.
"Still not improving the social rift between human lives and rabbids, but whatever.."

"Would you guys be interested in helping me get to Hollywood Monster Casino?" Guy said.

"You want that pen?" Stickers rubbed his chin, liking the energy.
"I'm a rabbid right? Why not? I could actually go and get it back for myself," Guy said.
"Wait, are we sure this is a good idea.. Following an adult human person into a casino to steal a pen? Can't we just steal a pack of pens? Or get this. BUY a pack of pens? Guy has a job that pays him enough to buy a pen I'm pretty sure," Tie asked.

"But the idea of it," Stickers said, "Man steals pen from Guy, Guy as a rabbid steals it back. The man wouldn't know it was Guy, and human Guy would be one pen richer without ever knowing why. Pure ironic justice."
"I guess it is pretty funny..." Tie thought about it, not entirely convinced.
"It's hilarious. We're gonna sock it to entitled humans who mess with our fun. What's a better way to learn how to be a rabbid?" Stickers said.
"Fine.. but just to be clear, Guy, doing extremely petty and ironic acts of revenge isn't what being a rabbid is all about," Tie said.
"I agree. It's a PART of what it's all about," Stickers said. He began to walk through the shopping center again.

"So, you know where to go?" Guy asked, following them.
"I don't, but I do know somebody who can find out and bring us there," Stickers said.
"Is it far?" Guy asked.
"He's where we were already headed."

They picked up the pace, escaping the sprawl into the lightless wild.

It somehow never occurred to Guy that rabbids could dwell in the wilderness just like any animal. Maybe he had always known they were separate from animals all along, like the otherworldly aliens he now understood them to be. Just as his eyes began to adjust to darkness, lights on the horizon appeared like stars stuck into a towering clod of dough. As they got closer, more rabbids on the outskirts came into view between the bushes and trees. Sounds of rabbid activity and babble were getting louder. Tie led him by the hand so he wouldn't get lost when the thin trail began to weave or get cluttered with backward traffic.

A final dip in the path and the whole place opened up. In front of him was a towering pile of twisted metal, wood, and decades old garbage forming some sort of outerwall that ran farther than he could see in either direction.

Illuminating the pile were a variety of every possible light from, lamps, to flashlights to ceiling fans, night lights and christmas tree lights. Some were even lighting up the inside of the pile. When Guy saw a rabbid pop their head out of a window, he realized it was actually a massive structure, and he was about to be let inside.

Entering the Junkard required squeezing oneself through a crack in the strategically stacked and welded structure, but once inside the halls were the right size for a small group of rabbids. Unlike the halls of a uniform human structure, the floor was often uneven, made out of different materials like tables, cardboard, mattresses, two by fours, and a pattern of bricks or shattered tile.

Almost like a dug out cave, some halls were different sizes depending on how well they were built up. Guy had wondered how something so chaotic could keep from collapsing, before noticing strategically placed artifacts that took the place of pillars, roofs, nails and glue (sometimes actual nails and glue). As a human he wouldn't have felt comfortable wandering into a place like this. The materials were less than sound no matter how well they were stacked. Still, it reminded him of something a child would dream up and attempt to create in their backyard.

Besides the scrap, the walls were decorated on every other available surface like a spiraling multi-media mosaic of rabbid graffiti. Guy was especially fond of the most gangster looking spray paint piece of a rabbid dressed straight from the 90s hip hop scene looking cool as hell. Something about it just oozed a zany sort of confidence that Guy wished he could embody as easily as the artwork.

Other memorable pieces was a grand mosaic depicting a game Guy didn't understand made out of broken glass and bottle caps glued to the walls, an actual life-size statue of a rabbid made out of chiseled brick cemented together, and a comic in sharpie drawn on the walls with an extremely simple style, and dialogues that were clearly about, or historically about, the rooms they were passing by.

The rooms they passed sometimes had to be climbed up to, but especially crawled down to. Although the structure was tall, it was far larger underground than it was above like some sort of building iceberg. At one point he took a look through a window and found himself looking deep into a grand meeting hall. It had more rabbids in it than he had ever seen up close, eating, talking and playing card games or drawing at tables. His companions led him down into the crowd. Many turned to greet them. Most were people Guy didn't know, but he smiled and waved while his companions bwahed back.

"Can it be true?" A voice Guy recognized. Guy turned around to see Ninja King, "You have returned to us in this way?"
"If you mean in a rabbid way.. Then yes.." Guy said.
"Do you remember me?" Ninja King asked.
"Of course. You asked me about Japan," Guy said.
"Yes, yes! But what of earlier? Do you remember today?"

Of course. He had a very one sided conversation with the rabbid when he was a man. He also said some rather embarrassing power trip like things when he knew the verminators were on their way. He wished he could ask himself 'What was that all about?' but he knew when he started getting competitive the stupidest things would fly out of his mouth.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't remember you when I was a human," Guy sighed.
"Fascinating. And I used to think revealing to me the legitimacy of Japan would be the most interesting thing about you. I now understand the context of your ideology, idolizing ordinary people not because they were particularly interesting, but because you wanted to be returned to the status they owned but you no longer had," Ninja King said.
"..The status of being human..?" Guy asked.
"Yes. And that dream was fulfilled, but has been replaced by another more complex dream where you return to us. What a novel experience. A man who is disguised as a rabbid. I would only be more jealous if you could become invisible too. Personally, I wish I could disguise myself as an owl. If you ever turn into an owl, please let me know. You must train me on your technique."

"It's not something that can be taught, I'm afraid," Guy said.
Ninja King put his hand on Guy's shoulder.
"There is nothing to be afraid of," He said.
"No, no, I mean I was hit with a laser that did this to me. I can't teach you," Guy said.
"..Oh," Ninja King said.

Capitan marched over to Ninja King with two rabbid soldiers by her side.

"NK can we talk? Somebody lost their dog but I saw it get run over by a car and die so, could you help me pretend to look for it..." She paused when she noticed who Ninja King was talking to.
"Aren't you the rabbid man? The man who is a rabbid? Some sort of rabbid were-creature person thing? Man...Man rabbid," She asked. She poked him.
"Yes.." Guy mumbled.

"It's true!" Tie said, joining the conversation from another, "We came back to tell everybody! Tuller and I saw him transform!"
"It was horrible," Stickers shuttered.
"And you people didn't invite me?" Captain said.
"We did invite you!" Tie said, "But you didn't want to come spy with us after the verminators showed up." He crossed his arms.
"Yeah but that was when it was a theory. Now that we know it's true, I wanna see! Show me some magic Mr. Man! Transform in this room in front of complete strangers for specifically me to witness in all of its grotesque detail," Captain said.

"I don't think that's how it works, but either way I don't think that's a good idea," Guy said.
"What's not a good idea?"

Guy turned to face the largest rabbid he had ever seen. Guy gasped, not realizing how close this rabbid was to him. His fur was darker than the others, gray rather than white. He was covered in a junk based armor not unlike the structure of the fort they resided in. With a tin trash can as body armor and a lid as a helmet, he could easily tuck his head and arms in like a tortoise and disguise himself.

"Oh! Uh! It's not important! I can't do it anyway!" Guy shrugged. He couldn't help his ears falling back against his head. He had only just gotten over being close to normal rabbids, but this one was surprising and it was becoming difficult to calm himself.
"Guy, this is the Junk Lord!" Tie said, gesturing to the giant, "He rules and runs the Junkard here. And Junk Lord, meet Guy Kowalczyk. Human by day, rabbid by night. Literally! Isn't it amazing!"

"You mean he's a human.. here?" He hid behind Stickers and partially ducked his head into his armor, "Why would you bring a human here? What if he's a spy!?" Guy wasn't the only rabbid terrified after all. The giant was shivering already. Stickers rolled his eye.
"Not a spy!" Guy said, eager to defend himself, "Just trying to be a rabbid.."
At this point the whole room was watching, quieting their own conversations.

"But you're not a rabbid! Humans don't often like rabbids, let alone become one! This has to be for some human master plan!" Junk Lord said.
"Does it have to? We are aware of accidents, right?" Guy squeaked.
"Junk Lord you've got Guy all wrong!" Tie stood in between them, "He isn't dangerous! He's been turned into a rabbid by mistake, not as a plot. I think we should treat him like any rabbid! Let him have fun with us!"

The Junk Lord grumbled.
"I don't know. What if he shares all of our cultural secrets with the masses?! Humans could find us and put us all to sleep!" He gasped. The ears in the crowd twitched with interest, fear and excitement.
"He can't do that," Stickers said, "He doesn't remember anything when he's human, so he's essentially stuck as one of us. Besides, sire, if he messes up I can always kill him."

The Junk Lord paused.

"..Kill him..?" Junk Lord repeated, "Ha! Bwahahaha! That's right, humans can die, and-and they don't like being dead. Not to mention you'd be good for the job. You're good at killing humans. Does that mean a threat is in order?"
Stickers turned to look at Guy.
"Guy, if you tell on us, I'll kill you," Stickers said.
"..A-Alright?" Guy said.
"That settles that right?" The Junk Lord said, pleased, putting it all together, "Human by day.. rabbid by night. That's.. That's not invincible.. Humans don't like being dead, so he won't betray us.." He whispered to himself, "OK! The rules of the game are set in place! Just so long as you watch over him, Tuller."

"Can do," Stickers said, giving a thumbs up.
"Even still, I will be keeping my eye on you, Guy. Be grateful I trust Tuller. And I mean, if you don't remember anything as a human you're harmless anyway.." He mumbled in the end, trying not to look afraid, "Excuse me but I have to meet with one of the undead. We're playing pictionary." The Junk Lord readjusted his scrap armor before leaving the meeting hall. The crowd parted to let the giant through, but as soon as he was out, all eyes shifted to Guy.

"..Hi everyone.." Guy waved. He was completely surrounded. In a snap a number of strangers started to poke him and fight over him like a sea of hands pulling on his ears and shirt. He gasped at how quickly he became powerless.

"Oi! OI!" Captain got out an airhorn and blasted it up in the air. Anyone closest to her let go of Guy to cover their ears. Guy hid behind Stickers while Captain's entourage and Ninja King made space for Guy, blocking grabby hands, "Control yourselves for once in your lives!" Captain shouted.
"Yeah but-"
She blasted the air horn point blank at the heckler.
"Glad we could chat."

Guy held onto his companions with a death grip. There were only six rabbids separating him from the hoard of fifty or more. If the rabbids of the hoard snapped again they could easily overtake the ones protecting him. He wasn't even sure if the majority liked him or wanted him black and blue. The diversely dressed mob had an even greater variety of expressions making it hard to tell if there was a consensus.

"Yes, it is true! The rabbid that we protect is also a human being!" Ninja King said, his katana in hand, "There is no need to get overly excited! Your questions and concerns will be dealt with by the Junkard Heroes such as myself and the Captain!"
"If you wouldn't mind Ninja," Stickers whispered, "We were looking for Foster to help us with a mission."
"Understood my friend," Ninja King said, "I know where he is. Follow my lead."

Ninja King parted the crowd with his sword so they could make their way past and into a narrow tunnel going deeper into the Junkard. Guy and his companions followed single file with Captain guarding the back.

"Sorry about that Guy! I thought everyone would be more curious and less aggro when they found out," Tie pouted. He put his hand on his chest and moved it in a circle.
"I don't blame you... T-They're not trying to hurt me are they?" Guy asked. He looked behind him.
"I'm hoping they'll get bored before we find out.." Tie said.
"Um," Guy got close to Tie to whisper, "But what about Tuller..?"
"Oh he just said that to get you in. Some rabbids aren't allowed in the Junkard you know. He's got an in with the JK cause he's the rabbid with the brains to keep this place standing," Tie said.

"But didn't the Junk Lord say that Tuller..."
"..That he what?" Tie didn't seem to get it.

When Guy was initially threatened by the rabbid he expected the possibility that he could be beaten to a pulp. Hearing the Junk Lord refer to Stickers as 'good at killing humans' made the threat much more frightening.

It had never occurred to Guy that a rabbid could kill a human on purpose. Rabbid shenanigans could result in beatings or collateral damage, but rabbids killed just about as many people as bees annually, and usually by accident.
Did Stickers really contribute to something like that? Had Guy been traveling with a murderer this whole time? Or was it all talk like what Tie assumed? Stickers didn't appear to be a bloodthirsty brute. He was loyal, selfless, respectful. Maybe if the rabbid had killed someone, it wasn't any of his business.

"Nevermind.." Guy said.

The tunnel spiraled deeper. By the dip in temperature Guy understood they were traveling underground now. Most of the walls maintained their entirely junk structure, but occasionally a tunnel going from one underground trash stash to another was made entirely of soil and stone.

They passed dug-in hang out spaces from the most comfortable pillow laden sleeping room he had ever seen, to a small trashy casino of their own before moving especially deep to a balcony.
Looking down from the balcony that surrounded the perimeter of the room, Guy realized the floor below illustrated a sort of map. At first he thought it was somewhere he'd never been, but an illustration putting the Junkard in the center made him reevaluate. The map displayed hundreds, if not thousands of miles away. What took Guy so long to understand was the nonexistence of human territories on it, replaced with alien rabbid ones that divided the land much differently.

He noticed everyone passing him so he withdrew from the balcony to follow them down to the map itself.
Working in a room under the balcony, was a rabbid stained with blotches of ink wearing a cowboy hat, a bolo tie and a cow patterned vest. His eyes widened when he realized he had visitors and he got up from his work to greet them.

"Well, call me a pigeon in a peach tree! Nice to see you, Tuller! Jerry!" He looked up to realize more rabbids had followed them by the audience in the balcony, "Oh wow. I don't know if I have maps for all of y'all.."

"Oh, They're not with us," Tie said.
A moment of silence passed.
"Guy here had something he wanted to ask you," Stickers said, nudging Guy.
"Oh? Right," Guy stepped forward, "You make maps, I'm guessing?"
"Do warthogs snort?" The rabbid smiled.
"Do..Do they?" Guy squeaked.
"They do! I'm guessin' by all the commotion you're not from around these parts. The name's Foster. Nice to meet you!" He held out his hand to shake. Guy shook it.
"You too. I'm Guy Kowalczyk," Guy said.
"Oo, fancy! Not a lot of rabbids around here with two names," Foster said.
"Actually, I have three," Guy said.
"Starting a collection huh? I wish you luck on finding your next one," He got behind Guy and started to push him into his work station, "Let's get outta the way of pryin'' eyes and get to what it is you wanted my help for, hm?" He invited Stickers and Tie to join him.

The room was armed with calligraphy pens, pencils and paper of every size. Official maps detailing zoomed in locations were hung on the walls. Level tables and desks were about the place, accompanied by lamps and lights shining white light. Two rabbids minding their own business were using the space, inking a poster and painting pottery. The crowd outside was minimized to the doorway, which Ninja King and Captain blocked. The two artists peeked over to see what all the commotion was about, but shrugged when they decided they were more interested in their own projects.

"Would you happen to know how we can get to Hollywood Monster Casino? My coworker stole my pen and is going to be there, so I want to catch up to him and get it back," Guy said as he was let into the room.
"He stole your pen!? Well hey, I got plenty of pens! You want one of mine?" Foster took a pen off the wall and handed it to Guy. It was a fountain pen, "I can get you set up with some ink too, and you can always come back for more."
"..Uh, I'm not sure I know how to use a pen like this," Guy said, looking down the tip.

"Understood. Hold on I reckon this might be more your size," Foster took the pen back and found another fancy pen, this time a rollerball pen encased in metal.
"Wow.." being impressed with the heft and durability of a pen wasn't something Guy expected to be today.
"You like it huh?"
"I do but.. I still want to get my own pen back. I bought it with my own money, and it's a brand I'm used to," Guy said.
"I see. He did you wrong. It's about justice!" Foster rubbed his hands together before taking a box out of a shelf in the wall. From the size and paper sticking out it was clearly filled with at least thirty pounds of giant old paper. He placed it on the table in front of them and began filing through pages of map parts.

"You could call it that. I don't hate the guy, but seeing his stolen pen get taken by a rabbid would be pretty satisfying," He gave a smirk.
"That's a strange way of saying it, but hey! That's what it's all about, Three Name!" Foster looked at a particular map part closely.
"Guy Kowalczyk!" Tie corrected from across the room.
"Yeah yeah! Guy Corvid-Check!" Foster nodded, "Aha! Here you go! The coordinates to the casino!" He handed Guy a little note with a bunch of numbers on it.
"Thank you.. Foster? But I'm not sure I know how to use this.." Guy turned to face his companions who were doodling on a paper with one of the previously preoccupied artists, "Do you guys know how to use this?" Tie looked over and shook his head.

"Foster's kidding with you. He's going to take us there himself, right Foster?" Stickers said.
Guy looked back to Foster to find him mischievously smiling. Guy sighed.
"I'll get ya'll set up with the transportation. Follow-" Foster turned to see a crowd by the entrance. Captain and Ninja King weakly waved holding them back. He turned around to exit another way, "-Follow me!"

"Ninja! Captain! We're going to go! Thank you for your help!" Tie waved.
"We'll keep 'em put!" Captain said, giving a thumbs up.
"If I do not see you again because I am in Japan, I wish you luck!" Ninja King said.

The group gave their goodbyes before following Foster to the back of the studio. There was a path up and out, but was much more narrow than previous pockets. It led back to the normal channels. Luckily the crowd was replaced with an accordion and violin playing rabbid duo and the six rabbids watching them, who weren't interested in Guy in the slightest.

Foster led them outside the structure to one of its many dirt floor courtyards. From here it almost looked like an ordinary scrap heap. Maybe to those without curiosity, it was.

Foster started whistling and clapping.
"Scooter! Scoot-scoot-scoot! Scooter!" He said.
"..Are we riding on dogs?" Guy asked. Before anyone could answer, giant nostrils poked out of a pile, followed by a massive hog-like creature on four flat feet. The creature waddled over to the group and sniffed Foster's hand. Guy covered his mouth and hid behind Tie.

"Guy, it's just a warthog! You don't have to hide!" Tie laughed.
"Warthogs are like, a small african pig! This thing's bigger than a bear!" Guy shouted.
"Well yeah!" Tie said, "We couldn't all ride him if he was small!"

"Say hi! This is Scooter!" Foster said. The warthog's gigantic shotgun barrel nostrils continued sniffing the rabbid, keen on finding a treat. They passed over Guy, who held his eyes shut and his body still. The hog got bored and paid more attention to Tie who cooed and pet the beast. Stickers couldn't resist giving its chin a scratch either.

"No time like the present everybody!" Foster said, throwing a saddle on the warthog while it was distracted, "Casino's only open till seven am!"

Guy winced. He watched his companions climb up while Foster tightened the saddle. At least he was going to be on top of the hog and away from its mouth and sharp tusks.

8/25/2023

Title "New Person, Same Old Mistakes" from Tame Impala.