After work or perhaps an errand, Guy found himself driving home with some free time left over. Feeling adventurous, he opted to follow the road and discover places he'd never been. His playlist drummed as he passed by picturesque mountains and titanic seas, podunk towns and cities with their bizarre monuments. It felt like he could drive forever, but perhaps he'd been out it a little too far and a little too long. Of all the cities and towns he drove by, he hadn't seen a single person the entire time. It was eerie, void of life. These places were beautiful, but made him feel like he was trespassing, as if everyone else had suddenly left and only he remained somewhere hostile.
Before he got too paranoid, he called it quits and decided to drive home. He turned around in a gas station parking lot and went back the way he came. He drove for a while down the highway, but started to feel unwell. He suspected he missed an exit. He shut off his music in an attempt to focus. He had driven so far out that it was becoming harder to remember the route back. He didn't even know where he was or if he was getting any closer to his house. He could even be driving further away without realizing it.
The sun was starting to set. The vacant spaces filled with darkness as if better to hide how empty it was. Eventually the only thing he could see were the streetlights revealing nobody there. Everywhere he turned was a new setting, as if he could only go further from home no matter what he did.
Driving in the backcountry of a mountain town, Guy drove over a bridge standing out in the darkness.
It had been a while since the sun had gone down, and he still hadn't seen another human in all this time.
He thought he was used to it, until he spotted headlights in his rear view mirror. Somebody was out there after all, following him. Guy stepped on the gas harder in order to make some distance, but the car behind him kept up. Before Guy could make it past the bridge, the other driver sped up and passed him, getting in front of him and breaking.
Guy shivered behind the wheel, trying to back up, but he had gotten himself stuck in between the curb and the other car. He gave up when he saw the other driver open his door. The man walked up to Guy's vehicle with an assault rifle in hand, but when he saw Guy, he gasped. He dropped his weapon at the sight of him. Guy could hardly believe it himself. So drawn into wonder, all fear vanished as he opened the door to get a closer look.
Before him was no ordinary man, but the spitting image of his own self besides a few changes. The man was aghast for the same reason, looking into a live mirror. It was as if they were molded with the same clay.
Guy was younger and skinnier than his other self, and wore different clothes. The first Guy wore a dress shirt, pants, shoes and tie, while the other Guy wore a blue shirt stained in paint, jeans and beaten work boots. His face was scarred, skin tattooed with zany imagery, and his right eye was covered by an eyepatch.
They stared at one another for a while in the light of the bridge.
The other Guy approached, looking closer.
"I haven't seen a thing like you in such a long time…" They whispered, careful not to make a sudden move, as if they expected Guy to vanish if they weren't careful.
"What are you..?" Guy asked, just as curious.
"I'm like you.." The other Guy said. They compared his and Guy's hands. They were nearly identical, even down to the two moles on their wrists.
"How can that be?" Guy asked.
"I.. I don't know. Maybe it just means we should stick together..Do you know where you're headed?"
"I'm trying to go home," Guy said.
"T-that's the same place I was going.." The other Guy said, surprised it was the same.
"Do you know how to get there? I've been driving all day," Guy said.
"Take driving for a whole week," The other Guy said, "I don't think we're going to find our way back." They slowly shook their head.
"That can't be true! I-I can't live here, this isn't where I'm from!" Guy said.
"Hey, hey, I didn't say we had to give up," The other Guy shrugged, "I just don't like it. Maybe together we can figure it out."
"Right.. Right. Do you have any ideas that might help?" Guy asked.
"I don't, but we won't find it standing here. Come with me," The other Guy said.
Guy abandoned his car and headed off with the other him in the exact same vehicle.
"Let me know if you see anything familiar," The other Guy said.
Guy nodded.
To his horror, the further they drove, the more unfamiliar everything started to become. The land's color began to fade, and the style of the surroundings started to repeat in unnatural ways. They passed by an infinite flat neighbor sprawl, a floating bridge that went to nowhere but itself, and titanic buildings rising forever in the air. The only color in all the world came from the two Guys and their car. Everything else was bleached white besides the moon tinting it blue, and the sunrise painting it yellows and reds.
After a time they drove into a downtown street.
They weren't even halfway through when the other Guy stopped the car.
Guy looked to see what it was. Something was in their way.
Taking a peek ahead of them, he discovered it was a giant person made out of shadow in the shape of flames. Guy found he was unable to look at the being's face, but he could see it was taking aim with a large weapon like a gun.
The Guys braced for attack, waiting to be shot down. Instead, the shadow being pulled the trigger, and it burst into flame instead. It burned brightly and then faded away, dropping the weapon. It hadn't worked as intended. Guy sighed, but when he looked to the other Guy, he seemed to reflect the flames in his lone eye. His expression furious, hands gripping the steering, turning his skin red under the pressure. They took a moment to snap out of it before continuing to drive.
They were driving through another infinite neighborhood when they spotted a body.
The other Guy slowed down the car to a stop at the sight.
A third Guy lying on the sidewalk.
The third Guy wasn't moving, his eyes closed. He was visibly paler than the other two, even from the car. The first two Guys got out to approach him, worried. When they got near him, the third Guy woke up and rubbed his eyes. He wasn't just paler, but skinner as if he was starving, his bones poking out under his skin. He wore a polo shirt with a school logo, a bow tie, khakis and leather shoes. When he saw the other two Guys he scrambled to get up and stood afraid at what he was seeing. He looked at his own features, and compared it to the two men before him. He shook his head, confused.
"...No, no," He said.
"What's wrong?" Guy asked.
"I..I look just like you! That can't be right! I'm not like you. I can't be like you.." the third Guy said.
"What's the matter with being like us?" The second Guy said.
"It's not who I am. I-I-I have to be different…" the third Guy said.
"What were you doing lying on the ground?" Guy asked.
"I'm waiting for the shadows to bring me home. They told me to wait here," The third Guy said.
"How long have you been waiting?" The second Guy asked.
"...Three days," The third Guy replied.
"Three days? Are you sure they're going to come back?" Guy asked.
"Don't say that!" The third Guy said.
"But look at yourself!" The second Guy said, "If you keep waiting here you'll starve! We have food in the car. You don't need the shadows to take you home, we can take you home ourselves," The second Guy said.
"..You'll take me home?" The third Guy asked.
"That's where we're all headed," Guy said.
"Are you sure? What if the shadows arrive and I'm not here to meet with them? They said they would be here," The third Guy said.
"You still believe they're coming back for you? After they let you suffer like this?" The second Guy said.
"Hey! You don't know them like I do! They wouldn't do that to me! At least not on purpose! There's gotta be a reasonable explanation for why they're taking so long. I just have to wait and then I'll see," The third Guy said.
"If that's what you really want.." The second Guy turned around and headed back into the car. Guy was surprised.
"No no, wait!" The third Guy said, just as the second was about to open the car door, "I'll.. I'll go with you.."
Guy sighed.
They all piled back into the car, Guy in the passenger seat, the second in the drivers, and the third in the back.
It wasn't long after the second began to drive that the third started to cry. It was far from silent tears, but was a full on bellow, a bawl. He hid his face, curled up in the back, inhaling deeply, and shivering out his wimpers. Guy peeked behind him to see, distraught.
After a moment of hesitation, the second pulled over, and got out of his seat. Guy followed. They didn't say anything while opening the passenger door, sliding in next to the third and holding him tightly. He quieted to whimpers.
"My darling, I will never let them hurt you like this again," the second whispered.
"...You're ok now, you won't go hungry," Guy said.
When enough time had passed they let go, and let him rest.
A day had passed.
On the road they drove endlessly in the desert. It was flat, white, and featureless all but the sky and a city skyline, with buildings jutting out of the ground. They were all calm, chatting happily about home. Snow far ahead covered the incoming cityscape.
The third opened a window and stuck his head out for a better view. The chill dried away remaining tears from the day before.
When they finally drove into the city, the second steered into icy puddles splashing them everywhere. The Guys giggled. They almost slid, which gave the second an idea. The second turned the car around.
"Oh! Oh! Wait! lemme get out of the car! I'll let you know if you slide!" The third said. The second stopped the car to let them out, Guy got out too.
The third would turn around and drive as fast as he could before they made it to a particularly slick spot. They'd then slam on the brakes, slide a few feet and hit a large puddle, drenching the other two Guys. So cold, so refreshing.
"You slid! You slid!" The guys shouted. The second put his window down.
"I think I can do more if I stop a little earlier.." They said.
"Yeah, The ice starts like, right here," Guy pointed, "So, try that!"
"Maybe we can practice sliding over the hood when they pass us!" The third said, "Like action heroes!"
"Dude totally!" Guy said.
The second turned the car around to try again.
While they waited for the second to return they caught snowflakes in their mouths. The shapes in the crystals displaying tiny images of shadow people in different scenes. Some gathered around decorated trees or gave gifts or sang songs. The second came back around to slam on the brakes and glide. The third waited for the second to approach, and slid over the hood of the car. Guy was too nervous and missed his chance.
The third fell off the car into the road, unharmed. He laughed as he picked himself up. The second drenched Guy in another icy puddle.
"I think it worked!" They said.
"Do you think we could make more ice if he kept splashing the water?" the third asked.
Guy was going to answer, but a shadow person with another weapon had appeared. They held it aiming their way, still silent. Nobody had seen it approach.
The second got out of the car and marched up to them. Fury in every step.
"Don't do this!" They barked, "It won't work! You'll hurt yourself! Please let us be!"
The shadow person did not listen. They pulled the trigger and the whole city went red with flame. The shadow person dissolved from the blaze, and the city burned bright, crumbling all around them. The ice and snowflakes evaporated. There was a great unseen agony in Guy's heart, as if his own son screamed no more. The sadness brought the second Guy shivering at his knees, holding his chest.
Despite all the carnage the flame did not harm them. Guy even put his hand in to feel. It only stung, like the beginnings of pain but never transitioned into it.
"We need to go.." He breathed.
The third nodded, helping the second back to their feet.
Guy drove them this time. The landscape littered with bones from unidentified things. Strange skulls, hands stacked on hands stacked on hands. The city rotting and folding like paper. It was somehow even quieter than it had ever been.
The second Guy clawing at their seat, foaming at the mouth, their face scowling. Tears red like blood.
Guy drove on until the city began to grow again like grass. New shoots pushing past frail empty rib cages. He wished there was a way out, but it seemed to go on as far as he drove. The buildings even began to hang down from the sky like stalactites. Some of them even hit the ground having no up or down.
Just his luck. Guy pressed on the gas pedal, but the car didn't move any further, slowing to a halt in the middle of an empty intersection. Not empty for long, just as the car stopped, a shadow person appeared. They stood around for a moment and tapped the car with a shadow flamed hand. Suddenly the car was in a scrap heap amongst other old cars. Somehow they had been brought here, in the middle of the city with the rest of the garbage.
"They threw us away! And our car is busted. How are we supposed to get home now?!" the second said.
"Maybe they can help show us a way," the third suggested.
"I don't know if they can…" Guy said, "We can't talk to them, and all they've ever wanted to do was hurt us."
"I agree! That's all they've ever done! Didn't you see what they did!? To their own people? How could they!?" the second said.
"I think it might be more complicated than what it appears," the third said.
"So what? Is it so complicated to understand that if I set you ablaze, there would only be two of us left in the whole world!? They are the ones that do not understand us! Understand brotherhood! We are precious, the only Guys! The only!" the second said.
"It still was an accident…" The third said.
"With all those bones out there, was it really?" the second said.
"Guys please don't fight!" Guy said, "Yes, the shadows try to hurt us and they cause terrible things, but Guy over here knows a lot more about them than any of us. We should consider what he has to say. Besides, we need to focus on the bigger picture. We have to get home. We have work in the morning and need to get to sleep."
The other two Guys looked away and made doubtful faces.
"What?" Guy asked.
"I don't think we're going to ever get home, Guy, especially now," the second said.
"I agree with Guy. I've been trying to get home for a long time, and even with the car, we aren't getting any closer. The place where everybody's normal and we go to work with all the other humans. We drove too far. Maybe even too long," the third said.
"But we can't stay here! We don't belong here! If we stay here we're going to lose our meaning!" Guy said, "Look at this place! It doesn't make any sense! I can't live somewhere like that! No humans, no time, no color, no mothers or fathers, sons and daughters or parties or movies or foods! What am I supposed to do without all the things I used to know?" Guy said.
"...Maybe we can make new meanings," the second said.
"I don't want to hear you say that. I can't leave this place without you. Please don't give up. Please, please don't give up," Guy begged. His own eyes filled with tears. The other two Guys looked away, unable to agree, "Oh dear God.. I'm not where I'm supposed to be.." He couldn't face them either.
For a long time, he would stay in the car while the other two Guys went searching for meaning. Many times they would return empty handed, that was until one day they discovered a new color covering a thing, and so they added it to their car.
The color shimmered like water and rain and lakes. Like the breath of nature covering a thing. They could feel the shade of heavy foliage relieve them on a hot summer day. Dig your toes into cool soft grass. Hear the sounds of running water and wind purifying their minds. Guy could tell this thing they'd found was just another piece of scrap to the shadow people. Maybe a part of a machine or exterior building material, but to the Guys, it was special.
After witnessing the colorful thing that evoked nature, Guy found the will to get up and go looking for more meaning with the other Guys, and they did.
This time it was the color of great tastes, and satisfying food. Sweet and crisp, zesty and sour, salted buttered and fried. Silky creams, spicy things, red roasted savory with sauces of tang. Fresh things that snapped and with juice running down your chin, crunchy, filled with water, light, refreshing, free. With it they felt hungry no more so they put it on their car so they would always see it too.
The next one they found was stuck as a part of a rock in the road. Each of them taking turns trying to pull it out. That is until a shadow person appeared and touched them, sending them back to their car, where there were at least two nice things decorating it.
They couldn't leave the new color thing behind, so they kept coming back and then getting banished to the scrap again and again.
This new thing was like laughter, understanding and good company. Clever jokes, energy and playfulness, pranks and talking, love and understanding, sharing and being close and warm. Your best friend lodged within a stone in the road. When the Guys had tried forty times and failed to take it out, they nearly cried, but they didn't give up. On the forty seventh try, Guy lodged a shovel in between the road and the stone, and pushed it out. He gasped and dropped the shovel, lunging for the stone. The other two Guys got teleported by the shadow people but Guy ran with it in his hands past them, and all the way back to their car. He put the friendship stone inside, where they all loved to talk and sleep.
After a time a rainbow of new beautiful colorful things decorated the car inside and out, as well as the surrounding scrap heap. Trash to any shadow person, but they couldn't see the color, the meaning of these things, and with meaning, the scrap heap began to change. With the aura of the nature thing, sprung clean water. Grass began to grow. Trees broke out of the pale ground for climbing and sitting with. Running water was real! Live! The scent of nature wasn't just within, it was really happening. Satisfying food came to be too. Within an old fridge all that they needed to make it would appear, and so too was the memory of what to do, how to make great meals with great ingredients. Some of it would take a long time to prepare, and new tools to repair, but it was always there if there was time.
Friendship was an easy one to come true as it was already happening, but now they never doubted they were together in this, never alone anymore.
And more was to be found around the city.
The fluorescent light of hobby and passion.
The giant doorknob of rest and completion.
The crumbling brick wall of health and ability.
The telephone pole of youth and spontaneity.
The television of justice and wisdom.
The tire of music and emotion.
Years passed. The meaningful memories turned the scrap heap into a haven of familiar feelings that would in time manifest into their rainbow forest. They loved to discuss and play with each new one and name them, and to go out into the cold colorless world to discover more. The pain and the emptiness out there, was worth the discomfort if they could make their home more lovely.
It had been so long that the old meanings had been replaced with ones that better reflected their everyday. Still, the emotions remained. Every year the meaning of 'human' and 'job' and 'movies' and 'sons' and 'daughters' faded deeper into the absurd. All that remained was the wisdom, that no matter how long they stayed here, it would never truly be their home. It was a decorated prison, a place they enjoyed but was ultimately, the only place they were allowed to be at peace.
That was until one day Guy heard a trespasser, and alerted the other Guys. A shadow person had appeared in their forest with a titanic weapon, bigger than any they had ever seen, and it was charging up. Guy shook his head in disbelief.
"No.. No! You can't do this! This is where we live! You can't take it away from us!" Guy ran up to the person, "You have everything you need! You're at home. You have the whole world! Why can't we just have this?! Why can't we at least have this!" He pulled on the weapon trying to tear it from the shadow person's hands, but it was no use.
The shadow person pulled the trigger. Sound immediately faded to screams as the whole world was bathed in hotter plasma than had ever been felt. The city and the ground and the scrapheap and the trees all melting away. Guy felt true pain, true fear. He looked to his hands to find them melting too. He wasn't fast enough to say goodbye, as everything brightened up turning everything to an exploding stinging white that consumed the entire world until there was absolutely nothing left.
10/12/2023
Title "Even Flow" from Pearl Jam.