Guy opened the door to his basement and looked down the steps.
"I didn't know you had a cave in your house.." Stickers said, staring into the darkness.
"It's actually pretty common, but people call it a basement," Guy said.
"Things can be both," Stickers said.
Guy jumped up to hit the lightswitch, but was too short. Stickers gave him a boost and tossed him up to reach the light. Guy hit it, but slipped on his way back, comically rolling down the stairs. He hit his head into the wall at the bottom, next to some storage bins.
"Oop! Sorry Guy!" Stickers tried not to laugh. He couldn't keep it in.
"I'm good!" Guy gave them a thumbs up from the bottom step. He picked himself up with vigor, "I hardly even felt that!" He smiled. The companions followed him down the stairs, looking at the stacks of storage.
"So.. falling hurts more as a human?" Tie asked, following Guy.
"Yup! It's.. it's like I've got on padding, or something.." Guy said. He went around the bins and small piles of leftover decorations, furniture and some other junk that looked like it once had a home on the surface. The entire space was used up, with an attempt at organizing clearly failing at some point when piles started to form instead.
Stickers found a toolbox and started looking through the various hardware inside. Most of it was rusty nails, but he set aside good ones. Guy popped open a bin filled with clothes. He picked up a shirt before realizing no rabbid would wear something so big, well, no rabbid but himself.
Tie followed Guy, hesitant.
"Could I ask you something?" Tie asked, "When you transform.. Does it hurt?" He put his 'pointer fingers' together.
"Huh.." Guy paused searching to think, "That's a good question..You'd think something like that would, but it's actually just..uncomfortable. It's still not fun or easy. Sometimes I wonder if I'd prefer it to hurt over how scary it can be.."
"You'd rather be in pain than be scared?" Tie asked.
"I don't know," Guy shrugged, "Just something I think about.. when I want to trade one extreme for another. Maybe at least, being in pain would make more sense than being scared and not knowing why," He sighed.
"Yeah.." Tie said.
Guy frowned. Tie seemed uncharacteristically down. Guy reached for his friends ears and pretended to gently pull on them like they were levers.
"Grrk! Errk!" He imitated the sound.
Tie smiled. He pretended to move like a machine according to Guy's inputs.
"I find it hard to believe your transformation doesn't hurt. Don't your bones break? Don't your.. your.. muscles move?" Stickers said, having a very vague understanding of biology from across the room.
"No idea! Although yes, my bones do break," He cringed, "Have you ever crunched a candy cane?" He led Tie to a bin, "My theory is that it would be so painful if I actually felt it in its entirety, that the whole thing is blocked! Like how you can't feel your internal organs," He had Tie open the bin for him, controlling him with his ears, "Krrrt!"
"We can only hope it stays that way," Stickers said, clenching their teeth together.
"I'm going to try not to think about stuff I can't control.." Guy mumbled looking into the bin, "Erm, does any of this stuff seem like something a rabbid might trade?" Guy held up some Christmas lights and an ornate candle holder. Tie displayed it like a butler, proud of his work.
"Ermm.. For stuff like that you'd have to bring a lot for a good deal, but people will trade small for small. Most rabbids have already decorated their warrens, or have a place they can go to easily get this kind of stuff. Not that it wouldn't get you a trade, it can, but it's low on the priorities," Stickers said.
Guy nodded.
"Maybe some of these, along with something more fun based for better deals?" Guy asked.
"Bingo."
And to think his garbage could've been a rabbid goldmine.
Guy walked over to his technology bin while Tie looked through the one he left behind.
Inside the technology bin were mostly wires, but he fished out his old 3DS console and its charger. Ohh that was definitely something worthy to trade. It even still had a game inside: Super Smash Brothers. He recalled tossing the mini console in the air after losing far too many times. He didn't play video games much in the present, so maybe it was time to say goodbye. Besides, he didn't have to trade the 3DS for anything he didn't want.
Tie looked through a stack of books at the bottom of his bin, surprised by one.
"Oh my gosh!" He said. He was quickly flipping through it. Guy and Stickers turned to look. Tie opened it up and pointed to a picture of Guy as a child in a yearbook, "Aww! Look at Guy! He's such a little dude!"
"Not that little. I think I'm like, twelve here.." Guy said, scratching his chin, smiling.
"Oh oh! Tuller! How old was I then?" Tie asked them, pointing to himself.
"Hold on. So you're nineteen and Guy is..."
"Twenty eight," Guy said.
"Twenty eight so..." Stickers closed their eye to think, "Errr... soooo. So Jerry would be three years old when Guy was twelve. Just about."
"Making me feel old," Guy chuckled.
"Bwaha! Imagine if we met when I was only a newbie!" Tie squealed.
"Oh boy. When rabbids appeared on Earth my parents hardly let me out for like two years! If we became friends my mom would've grounded me until I moved out!" Guy said.
"Sheesh, what were they so afraid of?" Stickers grunted.
"No offense, but people were really scared when rabbids showed up. It's like.. imagine if.. imagine.." Guy trailed off. There wasn't any situation he could make up that a rabbid would understand.
"It's like a bunch of robots came into the Junkard without telling anyone why, and they kept celebrating everyone's birthday even if it wasn't their birthday. They also wouldn't leave no matter how hard you'd try," Tie said. He chopped the air in a mechanical fashion.
"Oh.." Stickers looked annoyed already.
They looked a little on edge too, but not just because of the robot idea. Their fur was sticking on end in places giving him a disheveled look. Were they like that this whole time?
"You ok there Tuller..?" Guy asked.
"Oh, you know. I don't like being put on the spot when it's my birthday. I'd rather put ON spots instead," They said.
"No, I mean are you feeling ok? Like, in general?"
"Ah.." Stickers sighed, "Not exactly.. It's nothing for you to worry about. Just some leftover fires.. in my head. Making me think we're being followed, haha."
"Followed...?" Guy felt a fear.
"It's not real, Guy. I said not to worry about it. Do you see any fire in this room? I don't think so," Stickers said matter of factly.
"If you say so.." Guy said, although it upset him to see Stickers paranoid. Guy of all people would know how scary being stalked felt, even if in Stickers' case it wasn't real "Er, hang in there ok?" Guy said, holding their shoulder.
"Yeah yeah, I know," They grunted, taking Guy's hand off him, embarrassed.
Guy smiled. Stickers still acted himself.
In the end of his search Guy had decided to bring the 3DS, a broken laptop, twenty matchbox cars, three empty notebooks, and a curtain rod that Stickers had mentioned looked 'like a magic staff'. He stuffed all of it inside the smallest backpack he could find, which was almost a little too small for the laptop.
"Here's to hoping anybody will want this stuff," Guy said, trying to zip up the bag.
"I kinda want it," Tie said.
"Really!? Why?"
"It's YOUR stuff, Guy. What if we fixed up the laptop and it has more pictures of you on it? Or maybe even your parents!" Tie said. He put his thumb on his chin and then forehead with his 'fingers' outstretched.
"I can show you that stuff myself. Besides.. I'm not exactly sure..what might be on my computer.." Guy mumbled.
"Ah.. I get it.." Tie nodded.
"I don't really think you do, Jerry," Stickers said.
"No, I get it," Tie said, with the same confidence.
"You do not."
It wasn't long before they were on the road again, walking all the way to the beach. Guy spotted his reflection in the glare of a shop window. It was still surprising, but a good kind of surprise. Something about tonight had him in a state of overflowing bliss. He couldn't stop loving it, being here, like this, again.
Now he knew for sure this was going to keep happening. He was going to go on more adventures and meet more rabbids and learn things he thought he'd never live to learn.
The humans of the world would look down on him. Judgemental but ultimately jealous. They were going to sleep while Guy was visiting something they would never experience in their wildest dreams. Best of all, he had fascinating friends to guide him, protect him. Rabbid friends. Beautifully bizarre. The best of the best of people.
They lived out here, in the parallel world, where you didn't need money, and didn't have to be ashamed. It was scary sometimes, sure, but between houses, street lights, and shopping districts was the real feeling. The really real feeling. Like he was seeing everything for what it truly was for the very first time. It had a kind of rhythm to it.
The closer they got to the beach the more rabbids they bumped into on the way, which eventually developed into crowds rivaling concerts coating the dunes. Herds weaved single file around them. Friend groups were gathered in circles with their own junk to trade in the center for review like Halloween candy.
Beached on the shore, Guy spotted the ship, or more cruise ship. The Raging Radical was so much more vast than he imagined. It was several stories tall with windows lining most of the way up. Old fashioned pirate flags and viking symbols were graffitied all over it. It was like some sort of post apocalyptic city on water, although it didn't seem like anyone was going in yet.
It was hard to tell due to the different setting, but the number of rabbids was quickly surpassing the number Guy had seen at the Junkard. In fact, a lot of the Junkard residents were here too. Wait.
Some of them had been staring at him, or even stood up to see him better. That's what he got for wearing essentially the same outfit.
"Not to alarm any of you but I think I might've been recognized.." Guy whispered to his companions. He stuck a little closer to them.
"Oh yeah!" Tie nodded, "If anybody's anybody right now, they're talking about you," He touched his outstretched fingers to his chin.
"People keep asking me about you. It's annoying, " Stickers said.
Stickers looked over his shoulder.
His hair stuck on end more, as if he had felt a chill, "...I'm scared.." he said it so unexpectedly.
"Tuller?" Guy faced him, and then turned to look behind them, but didn't see anything, "Did you see something?"
Tie had seen something.
He was scared stiff staring out across the dunes as if he was caught in the gaze of an apex predator. Stickers looked to see, and then Guy saw it too.
Over a dune walking away, was a fluttering red cape of a rabbid. Maybe it was only the fear his companions were displaying around him, but even just seeing that cape stirred a powerful feeling of helplessness and fury in Guy. It was as if just standing there, he was fighting for his life.
Coming up from the same dune the cape vanished, three verminators appeared with weapons in their hands. They stopped when rabbids got in their way. The bunnies all laid out like a blockade.
They were too far away for Guy to hear, but the verminators were talking to one another. There had to be thirty or so of them around the outside of the gathering, not doing anything to harm the rabbids, at least not yet anyway. Rabbids nearby gave them the stink eye, or actively stood up and chased them.
One verminator however, got a much different reaction.
She was a high ranking verminator woman without her mask. Red insignias advertised her status on her black suit. When rabbids saw her they pretended to ignore her, but were acutely aware. They stood still when she got too close. The two verminators around her looked clumsy compared to her, especially when she spoke. Guy could see the rabbids around her listening intently, paralyzed, their ears straight up.
"What's... going on?" Guy asked. His friends were speechless. Tie was still looking at the woman, as attentive and wide eyed as the rabbids close to her. He couldn't look away.
"Did you see that too?" Stickers said.
"See what? The verminators? The cape?" Guy said.
"You saw him.." Stickers said, "Jerry.. Jerry?"
"I didn't..." Jerry said. Still staring.
"Are you completely sure?" Stickers said, "He was looking straight at us."
"From where you were, maybe! We saw different stuff ok.." Tie said.
"Please tell me the truth. I'm not out to judge you, this is serious!" Stickers said.
"Ok! Ok! I saw him!" Jerry said.
"So we all saw him.." Stickers breathed.
"Er.. saw who?" Guy was deeply out of the loop.
"The Red Rabbid!" The companions said at the same time. Tie brushed his own lip with a 'pointer finger'.
"He's a rabbid who uses his magic powers to curse rabbids into having bad stuff happen to them, so that he can jumpstart the apocalypse!" Tie said. He spun his hands around like a dyer cycle and pretended to tear an orb to pieces.
"No, no. The Red Rabbid is an ordinary, yet ancient and wise rabbid who warns people about the terrible things they do. Terrible things that lead to the destruction of the world!" Stickers corrected him. Tie scowled at him.
"Oh, come on, he's magic! And only shows up when bad things happen to people and he never does anything to help. He's clearly the cause, if not the temptation. He's a curse," Tie said.
Stickers grunted.
"Agree to disagree, but either way we're all in terrible danger," Stickers said.
"What do we do?" Guy asked.
"We need to reflect. See if there's anything we're doing that would cause conflict. But if the Red Rabbid has already visited us, there's already something we've done. There's already something terrible we're going to face in the future that we can't change. We can only hope reflecting will lessen the blow."
"Does.. this happen a lot," Guy said.
Stickers winced. They gently grasped Guy, but their grip was as tight as bites. They could hardly look at Guy.
"Guy... some people. Some people go their whole existence never witnessing the Red Rabbid. I have seen him TWICE now!" They said, "This could mean as little as an argument to the whole country going to war! People could die! Most likely humans, but even rabbids could die!" They let Guy go.
"And all we can do is reflect!?" Guy asked.
"We need to be honest with ourselves and face the path we're taking! What is the Red Rabbid trying to tell us is a bad idea?" Stickers said.
The companions glanced at Guy.
"You don't think?" Guy gasped.
"I don't know?!" Stickers huffed, "I don't WANT to think you have anything to do with it! But.."
"I get it, I am pretty conflict prone," Guy said, "Just saying though, I don't think I've done anything to cause something like that."
"You don't have to," Tie said, "Nobody causes this! It's just a part of Red's master plan! I don't know why we're looking at Guy anyway. It's clearly Tuller and I who got cursed. Red looked at us. He turned his back by the time Guy saw him." Tie turned his own head away to illustrate it.
"Maybe I.. did something.." Stickers said. He was ashamed at the idea.
"You didn't do anything, Tuller! It's the Red Rabbid who's doing this to us," Tie said, "Maybe he's after us because he thinks we should be punished for accepting Guy.."
"Did you do something Jerry?" Stickers looked at him reluctantly, "Anything else sneaky that we should know about?"
"Not that I know of," Tie said, shaking his head. Stickers sighed and held his face.
"There is.. a possibility that the Red Rabbid is threatening Guy. If he doesn't see Guy as a rabbid he might not consider him worthy to warn. Not that I don't respect the Red Rabbid, because I do, but I'm not giving up on Guy just yet. As far as we're aware he didn't do anything wrong. Maybe we're only being warned because of the trouble being friends with Guy brings. In any other case, if you're thinking of doing something stupid, maybe we can lessen the blow and change our fates by trying to avoid it," Stickers said.
"Sure.." Tie said.
"I'll try. You think my human self may have something to do with it?" Guy asked.
"Don't know. There has never been anything like you in the legends Red appears in. Can you influence your human self at all?"
"Sometimes he remembers a little something, but it's all nonsense to him. We're almost like two different people now.. We don't act based on the same information," Guy said.
"That's what I thought," Stickers said, "Nobody can blame your rabbid self for what your human self does.."
"Please don't.. It's starting to get a little embarrassing.." Guy cringed.
They noticed the rabbids around them start to stand up and collect their things, while pirate rabbids raced from the vessel to protect the border from verminators. One pirate ran up to the verminator woman, but she looked at him, causing him to turn around and run back the way he came. The woman visibly snickered.
"Who is that?" Guy pointed to her.
"She's a verminator general. Do not go anywhere near her. Anywhere. She messes up rabbids in the head," Stickers said quickly.
"Noted..." Guy said.
He saw Tie still watching the general before facing the ocean. The Raging Radical was boarding using a wooden ramp. The crowd began their march to the vessel. Most of them were still full of zeal and excitement singing, screaming and pushing each other, but not Guy's rabbids.
The stank of a horrific destiny was on their minds and clearly ruining their night. It was unnatural to see them like that. They had their usual troubles around him from time to time, but those were always in the past. This Red Rabbid issue was their future, haunting them in the present. Stealing their wonder.
Sure, Guy was in trouble too, maybe, and by a supposedly magical, or ordinary, entity with a cape. But even that in its own right was kinda cool. No modern man had ever had the opportunity of facing anything quite like it. It was probably going to hurt like nothing he'd ever felt. A pain and paranoia so unlike his norm that he had trouble knowing how to prepare.
His rabbid friends, as wise as they were, still couldn't make up their minds about what to do either.
Was Red magic or ordinary? A curse or a warning? Was any of this even true? Or only an entertaining myth? Did Red even mean to warn them? There were so many rabbids on the beach. Were they sure Red meant to warn them out of all the other rabbids that could've seen him? And Red's possible goal of an apocalypse? Were the end times approaching? Were rabbids going to cause the apocalypse? Was he a part of it? Was he going to get everyone killed and didn't know it yet? His stomach sank. He sighed. Not yet. He hadn't done anything wrong, at least as the person he was now. He was scared, but for now he was still so excited. Nothing had happened yet, so shouldn't he enjoy this night? While there was still peace?
He looked back to his friends while they boarded the ship. Closest to him was Stickers, even though he still looked far away.
"Hey! Tuller!" Guy said in a dudebro voice, "Sup brother!"
"Sup Guy," Stickers grinned.
"Bam! Bam!" Guy lightly jabbed his shoulder, "How many ordinary rabbids does it take to take out a Tuller huh? You're a pretty strong rabbid," He pretended to box.
"We actually did an experiment with this a while back," Stickers said, not impressed by Guy's stance. He caught one of Guy's jabs and tickled his armpit.
"Tuller has the strength of approximately four rabbids," Tie said, he put up his fists like he too had Stickers strength.
"If you dudes are all clones how does that happen? Or do you work out?" Guy asked. They were getting close to the inside now.
"Not all clones are made as ordered," Stickers tapped where their missing eye was. Guy was surprised.
"Ohhhh.. You know I always thought that was an injury.." Guy said, "Does it bwahther you having only one eye?"
"I wouldn't know it any other way," Stickered shrugged.
"They can't watch 3D movies and they have trouble playing manhunt in the woods," Tie said. He pretended his arm was a tree.
"Hey, trees are a lot more everywhere than people think," Stickers said.
Tie chuckled.
Guy closed his right eye.
"They might have a point.." He said.
They shuffled into the internal entrance to the Raging Radical. It was crowded with rabbids stopped already trading. Stands and shops of various sizes and even floors lined the walls of the outdoor deck. Displayed in them were all sorts of stuff from kitchenware to blankets, to baseball bats, books and exotic drinks.
The vendors were clearly salt stained from being at sea, a lot of their booths had driftwood built into them, if not rusted metal or other materials decaying the same way. Surrounding them were pirates with the demeanor of mall cops, their hands often already over their swords and metal bats. Rifles were strapped to their backs, and they weren't loaded with plungers.
Gulls and other seabirds took up any empty space rabbids weren't occupying. The sound of rabbid babble was everywhere, bouncing far up through the levels of the ship and past water slide tubes, echoing with the distant echo of a rock concert just out of view.
Guy spotted a roller coaster track far above him and grinned when he saw a kart passing by with far too many rabbids inside. One fell out and dropped ten stories flat on his face. He peeled himself off the deck and ran back to the start. Rope ziplines gave rabbids a less painful way to get from the top to the bottom, unless you were standing in the way like bowling pins, and Guy swore he heard a proper train somewhere below him from a vent. A subway?
"Oh wow.." He breathed. Forget the Red Rabbid. This was heaven.
"I'm going to go looking for the construction booth and the blacksmith," Stickers said.
"Yess!" Tie said.
"A blacksmith?" Guy suddenly had a fantasy where he owned a sword.
"They also work with technology, but they mostly make metalwork stuff sized for rabbids," Tie said.
"I need to get new tools," Stickers said.
"I'll follow you."
They began, passing through different booths, pushing past crowds around popular ones.
Large rabbids like that of the Junk Lord were more common here. They must've been their own type of batch or something. Maybe they were 'made as ordered' for another purpose. Were rabbids cloned for a purpose?
"Hey guys, why do rabbids clone more rabbids?" Guy asked.
"Many reasons," Stickers said, "Build armies, make an instant family, make new rabbids who are blank slates to give better perspectives to old fart rabbids like me.. Accidentally.."
"So, guessing the big dudes are made for a purpose? Or are they also, 'not made as ordered..?'" Guy said. He made sure not to say anything too close to the giants.
"Could be both," Tie said, "Cloning is a top secret procedure mostly done by antiheroes. We don't know much about it or how to build stuff like that." He pretended to peel something off of his 'pointer finger' making a new identical 'pointer finger'.
"It's a good thing too. I love being surrounded by hoards of rabbids as much as the next guy, but if cloning was easy, the Earth would be trampled by an unending ocean of us by now, and I'd probably by pinned under a mile of flesh for a hundred years before seeing the light of day again," Stickers said.
"Terrifying.." Guy said.
"It's scenarios like that that make being indestructible secretly pretty sucky," Tie cringed.
"Yup. Stuff that kills humans just traumatizes us. A friend of mine put himself in a box to mail himself to Russia, and he accidentally got put into high security storage for like three years before they rearranged the boxes and he was able to lift the weight off him. He won't even live in a house or burrow now. He just sleeps in trees," Stickers said.
"That's messed up.. How did he pass the time?" Guy gasped.
"If you can think of anything he would do, he did that," Stickers said.
"That's exactly what I would do.." Guy said.
"Yeah. Some other rabbids I know have been buried alive or stuck underwater too," Stickers said, "That's why rabbids need to stick by each other. Keep track of where their friends are. If you care about another rabbid, you better know if he's trapped in a cave somewhere. Some dudes don't just spend three years in a box, this type of thing doesn't have a time limit. It could go on and on. Here's a horror story: When I was on patrol in the Glade, an earthquake opened up a chasm. We were ordered to explore the inside and found a rabbid completely void of anything but his most basic instincts. He could've been in there for hundreds of years in complete darkness. The only thing he could do after that was bite people and scream," Stickers said.
"Did he ever get any better?" Guy gasped.
"He actually did. We had to put him in a cage for a while, and in there he became more tame, but he had some serious trust issues and didn't talk to anyone, or maybe he couldn't talk-I don't know. I moved on from that outpost before I could see if he'd ever fully recover, I think he probably did, if not completely, significantly, but it's something you always need to keep on your mind," Stickers said, "If something happens to us, we ought to try and find one another."
"I'll keep tabs when I can.." Guy nodded.
"Always have always will," Tie said.
"Oo!" Stickers stopped dead when they spotted a booth full of cutesy jewelry, multicolored duct tape, make up, and the tween girl-iest hot pink fuzzy everything you'd ever seen. He went straight for the giant sticker book the vendor had. Guy and Tie followed, 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' pouring out of the booth's radio.
"Arrg! Girls! What's poppin? You seem like a real sticker stan!" The vendor said. She had several piercings going up her left ear, a piercing on her tongue and wore a pink feather boa, a jean jacket with cutesy patches with puppies and kittens on them, a bedazzled black top and a blue skirt.
"That I am! How could you tell?" Stickers said.
"Trade secret!" The vendor chuckled. Stickers chuckled too.
Guy took a look inside the booth, which was a tiny series of shelves made out of driftwood and nails. It was definitely very girly, yet in a borderline scene kind of way. There were some vinyls from rabbid musicians, toys, and a small section of clothes similar to that of the vendor's own.
Guy thought it was neat and awfully unique. He considered some of it, but would've connected to it better if he saw himself as more feminine. Come to think of it, rabbids didn't really have traditional sexes the way humans did. Hmm...
"See anything you like?" Tie gestured to his eyes.
"Aw, maybe the vinyls, but I sold my record player a while ago so it's a lost cause," Guy said.
"But you can play any song you want anytime using your phone? It was already a lost cause," Tie chuckled.
"It evokes a different nostalgic sound, and it's fun to collect. Besides, I don't think there's any rabbid music online," Guy said.
"Maybe not where you're looking," Tie shook his head.
Stickers was haggling with the vendor by offering to trade a set of dragon bookends.
"They're totally in tune with the fantasy side of your aesthetic, and you can easily paint them pink with glitter to better suit you. Besides, I'm trading an imperishable decoration for a decoration that we all understand is very perishable, especially out on sea," They said.
"Yarg do be speaking some real facts.. You've got a deal fam. And I'm definitely taking your idea and painting these," The vendor said, "Maybe even some flocking and googly eyes.."
Stickers smiled and opened up the giant sticker book. He picked one out and put a cutesy kitten on his shoulder.
Guy spotted a ninja booth a little aways. It was built like a traditional Japanese home made of wood, clay walls and a straw thatched roof. Two ninja and a samurai were talking in front of it, making Guy feel at ease. Tie saw.
"Aw, you wanna go look at some tea?" Tie asked. He pretended to stir something in his palm.
"I just wanted to go check out the ninjas. Is Ninja King here?" Guy asked.
"I don't think so," Stickers said, still looking through their sticker book. They found a sticker of a motorcycle and wrapped it near the base of their ear, "NK's bound to be way out where Japan is by now. Maybe you can check with them though."
"Yeah.." Guy left to go to the ninja both. Stickers and Tie followed.
When Guy walked up to the ninjas and samurai they stopped their conversation when they saw him coming.
"Oh, excuse me if I'm wrong, but would you happen to be the manmade rabbid?" The samurai asked politely. Wearing a full set of armor made this rabbid a walking art piece of metal scales. Guy was surprised every time he moved. His eyes were already lost in the intimidating faceplate and its curling fangs and a constant scowl.
"Depends on why..?" Guy said.
"While on his journey, The Ninja King tells of a mystic rabbid that has two identities. One a man, the other a rabbid. He supposedly lives by these very shores. You go by the description he gave, unless you're just down for the craze," The samurai said.
"Ohh! Oh! Yeah, I'm just down for the craze!" Guy lied. Stickers and Tie snickered behind him.
"Ah I see. My bad," The samurai said, "So you have heard of him too."
"At least I think so.. We are talking about the same guy right.. er, the same dude.." Guy said.
"I have not heard of another, so probably. Legend states that he was an ordinary human suddenly transformed into a rabbid by a magic laser. We don't know much else, so we were hoping to find out more," The samurai said.
"More like what?" Guy asked.
"Well," one of the ninja said, "We were most interested in what games the manmade rabbid would like. Maybe he would play with us on our spy missions."
"Or our military operations," The samurai said. The two gave each other the stink eye.
"Oh, well, from what I heard, he is pretty open to playing new games," Guy smirked.
"But is he interested in serving a lord?"
"Lords are bogus, he would probably rather sneak around freely as he so chooses," The ninja said.
"Maybe if he likes living by chaos rather than by honor," the samurai said.
"By honor you mean living by whoever has the deepest hoard right?" the ninja said.
They both took out their swords.
"And just when I started to think you respected our ways!" the samurai said, as the two circled each other.
"Your ways are oppressive and dumb!" The ninja vanished and appeared behind the samurai, but the samurai did a gravity defying backflip to evade his phantom slice.
Guy watched in awe and guilt.
"Erm.. did I.. Was it something I said?" Guy said, as they continued to clash their swords.
"No Guy, they're ninja and samurai, they love fighting each other. It's inevitable," Stickers said.
"It is true," the remaining ninja vendor said, "If I did not have to watch the shop, I would be all over that dude. By the way, do you want any tea? We trade a very modest amount depending on your offer."
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm more of a coffee guy if I'm being honest," Guy said, "Er. Do you know anything about the manmade rabbid?"
"I know that he is standing right in front of me," The ninja squinted.
"UH uh, no. I'm just in it for the craze. Where would you get that assumption?" Guy stuttered. Stickers and Tie couldn't help but laugh.
"I was listening to you talk earlier, but your aura is really wacky too. Don't worry. I don't care about human-rabbid people or whatever. I am not interested in that horror sci-fi genre. I know I'm in the minority though. Just between us, you should watch out, Manmade Rabbid. Everyone is waiting for what you are going to do. They have their eyes on you, people who want to smash your face in and people who are totally superfans about you. Not that I would know why. I just want to hit people I disagree with with my sword after making extensive plans to spy on them. Humans have nothing interesting to give me besides anime and being party poopers, no offense," The ninja said.
"None taken. Thank you for warning me. You really think a lot of people are waiting for me to do something? What would that even be?" Guy asked.
"I don't knooow! Go ask somebody who actually cares! And tell them to stop caring! Playing ninja is so annoying when the only thing anyone ever talks about is how a human would see it," The ninja groaned.
"I'll try, or maybe not. I don't want to get my face smashed in.." Guy said.
"You do you matey," The ninja said.
Guy waved him goodbye and continued on, making sure his friends were still following him, as well as to make sure they didn't get too close to the sword fight. When they were out of earshot Guy lit up and turned to face his friends.
"Did you hear that!?" Guy said.
"That you're popular?" Stickers asked, not impressed.
"Yes! Yes! And NK's talking about me? I was just recognized like I was a celebrity! I need to shut up! I'm gonna get clocked!" Guy chuckled.
"As hilarious as it is, you should probably take your own advice. I'm only as strong as four rabbids, and there's probably more than four rabbids on this boat," Stickers said. They looked to Tie, "You also need to remember to keep quiet too, ok?"
"Aye aye sir!" Tie saluted.
"Hmm.. Maybe we need to get Guy a new outfit after all," Stickers said.
"Aww no! I like my clothes.." Guy said.
"How? You can hardly keep them from dragging on the ground," Stickers gestured to all of him.
"I have my methods," He pulled up his sleeves more and retucked them into themselves and then threw his tie over his shoulder, "Besides, there's other people around here participating in the 'craze'. And if I turn back at an odd time, I already have emergency clothes. Even if they're still embarrassing as a human.."
"Whatever you say, your majesty," Stickers sighed, agreeing. Tie threw his own tie over his shoulder. It didn't stay in place.
They kept walking, looking for the blacksmith.
They passed by a candy maker rabbid, a wooden mask maker rabbid surrounded by samurai and playwrights, a tiny trinket trader, a halloween costume reseller, a glass blower, a lego collector, a board game shop, and an extremely large bookshop covered in so many books it might as well be the walls of the shop itself.
"Oo! Can we go to this one?" Tie started to push Stickers toward the bookshop before they even answered.
"Ok then..."
Guy chuckled.
Inside was cozy and quiet with low light lamps, beanbags and tiny persian rugs. The vendor was reading her own book in the back corner. She had circular glasses on, a red hat, a wig made of tan yarn with flowers weaved in, and a yellow and red flower dress.
"No trading in here mateys," she said without looking up from her book, "Just donations in the booty box. Leave a book or take a book, maybe even return a book. Two books per person though.. Unless you ask me."
"Understood ma'am," Tie said.
Guy wasn't much of a reader, but the warm enclosed atmosphere of the store was relaxing him much better than the ninjas did. He looked at the spines of the beaten up stories. Some of them were in English while just as many were clearly in the rabbid's own tongue. Despite the 'Bwah's and 'Bo's repeating often, Guy could fully understand the meanings behind what was being written. It was almost exactly like ordinary reading, but he could almost feel the breath from the author's voice in his own head. The faint and fleeting emotion of another possessing his brain, melting into understanding. It was subtle, but hauntingly beautiful.
A particularly large and beaten book had nothing on the spine, so he took it out and opened it up from the beginning.
'Today was his first day at his new position: Finance manager for Big Hope Cancer Research. He stepped foot in his new office for the first time with his desk supplies piled up in his arms. He let the items drop on his desk before going back to turn on the lights. A whole room to himself with a window too. From here he could see the research lab connected to the offices. He wasn't much of a lab guy, but the lab did need a numbers guy to organize funds.'
He quickly closed it and put it back. Books about Big Hope? Really? Rabbids had to have better literature than this...
He kept looking for something unique. Maybe something about other worlds or..
He spotted a book in the rabbid tongue titled 'Classic Literature: The Four Colors'.
Four colors huh? Perhaps one of them was Red? He flipped through. It seemed like it was a collection of short stories and letters.
'-and dead as I was, swiftly being buried by the ocean of snow, the thrum of the drum matched my heart, my heart responding. With little effort of my own, I rose. The snow parting to make way for me. And everyone was there rising beside me. No longer abandoned. The sky red with rage. I saw Mars there on the hill, glowing against the storm like a specter. His sword pointing to the lit windows on the mountainside. I then knew what we were, what we had to do. My teeth ached for flesh. My dark desire shared by each and ever being climbing out of death on the mountainside. I am afraid to drown, my friend. That's why I knew what Mars wanted. And I knew that I was going to cry a thousand years-"
"Guy look!" Tie ran up to him with a book in his hand, "It's The Tale of Despereaux!"
"Oh, have you read it before?" Guy asked.
"Yeah! I used to have it read to me before bed," Tie said, "It's about this tiny mouse and everyone hates him and his name is Despair!" He said it as if that was the exciting part.
"Is that what you're getting?" Guy asked.
"Yup!" He nodded, "What are you reading?" He pretended to open a book with just his hands.
"I think it's a book with the Red Rabbid in it.. Trying to figure out stuff for myself since you two don't agree," Guy said.
"Hmm.." Tie looked concerned, "You know Guy, I wouldn't worry too much about that rabbid. There's nothing we can do. Even if he was trying to tell us something, who's he to judge? He's the one cursing people and making them get all angry and destructive. Does that sound like somebody you want to listen to?"
".. I guess not," Guy wasn't so sure.
"Uh huh! That old brute's just a hypocrite! Especially if he's after us because of you," Tie said.
"You really think it has to do with me?" Guy asked. He was blanking on anything he could've done.
"Well probably.. I don't think you're bad though. Just like Tuller said. As far as we know you haven't done anything wrong. You have a right to exist, I think. If Red believes it's wrong that a rabbid can also be a human then.. then.. he's just being an old fart. Right?" Tie said.
"Right," Guy nodded.
Tie grinned weakly.
Stickers walked up to Guy and Tie with a book in his hands. He noticed Guy's book.
"Classics. Nice," they said.
"What are you getting?" Guy asked. Stickers held up 'Watership Down'.
"I watched the movie. Heard the book was good too," They said.
"A rabbid reading about rabbits?" Guy said.
"Try saying that five times fast."
"Huh...I won't."
The rabbids took their books with them in their bags and continued looking for the blacksmith.
Hardly any stores were passed before Stickers stopped at a caricature drawing booth with no current line. Guy had seen the rabbid doing the drawings far before he saw the drawings themselves. He was now the largest rabbid Guy had ever seen, maybe even taller than Guy as a human. He almost didn't recognize the creature as the same species. The giant was nearly as wide as he was tall, with all of his fur long black and coarse like a gorilla. His skin was gray, with his gigantic tum, his chest and head left hairless. His eyes were small and permanently red, his face mostly concealed by a metal muzzle going all around his head. Guy would've been terrified if not for the giant rabbid's setup drawing funny pictures with a marker. He even had a contrastingly cute beret on.
Guy's friends were looking through their bags.
"Jerry what do you have?" Stickers asked Tie.
"I've got a lot of gummy bears and mint oreos," Tie said.
"Mint?!" Stickers was disgusted.
"I like mint..." The giant swayed to the side to try and see them better. Guy's ears stood on end when he heard the giant's low voice.
"Fine. Do you also like cylinders of gourmet popcorn?" Stickers asked. He put it on a table in front of the giant while Tie did the same with gummy bears and the oreos.
"Hmm.. Pretty good, pretty good. I'll do it for this booty," The giant sat up straight and stretched.
"Hurray!" Tie waved his hands.
"Let me just take a moment to get your aura to better render the drawing..." the giant noticed Guy staring at him, "BOO!" The giant opened his arms with his scare.
Guy yelped and hid behind Stickers. The giant laughed, relaxing.
"I am kidding! Relax! Relax! No need to be afraid. You haven't seen one like me before, have you?"
"Yeah.. sorry! I was staring, wasn't I?" Guy looked away, stepping back into the open.
"No offense taken my friend. Are you the youngest or perhaps the least experienced beside your friends?" He asked.
"Oh, no, That would be Jerry," Guy pointed to Tie.
"Guilty as charged," Tie said. He patted his own chest with his hand, with his 'pointer finger' outstretched.
"But in a way," Stickers said, "Guy is like a child in HOW he is. He's definitely the least experienced in that way."
Guy and Tie nodded.
"..Were you frozen..?" The giant asked. His tone saddened, brows curled in concern.
"Ah no, no," Guy said, "My situation is pretty unique! Not young, but doing a lot of new things for the first time. I'm having a lot of fun with it though."
"Ahh, so you're from another world?" The giant said.
"Sure..!" Guy went with it.
"You don't look so sure!" The giant laughed, "I get it, I get it. You are the most complicated rabbid of the group, but clearly very well taken care of," He glanced at Stickers as he began to draw, "And you seem to be the lead of the group if I am not mistaken? The older rabbid with two novice friends?"
"Maybe.. I'm not much for telling people what to do," Stickers shrugged.
"Yeah, but you definitely let everybody know when they're doing something you don't like!" Tie smirked.
"I have the right to have preferences and complain just like everybody else," Stickers said, firm.
"But you wouldn't say you lead us?" Guy said.
"No," Stickers said.
"Maybe he is more of a mentor?" the giant suggested, pointing with his marker.
"Ooh!" Tie said, looking at Stickers to see their reaction.
"I can live with that label..." Stickers said.
The giant looked to Tie last.
"You seem jovial tonight, easy to please," He said.
"We're on the Raging Radical who wouldn't be!?" Tie said he pretended to be angry while putting his hands together like they were a boat on water.
"Would you say you are the glue between your two friends?" The giant asked.
"Oh definitely.." Tie said. He looked to his friends to see if they agreed.
"That one's obsession is the only reason I still have anything to do with this one," Stickers pointed to Tie and then Guy.
"Fans make fans," Tie said.
"I'm a casual Guy enjoyer," Stickers said.
"Can I admit I am a Tuller fan actually," Guy said.
"Me too. Tuller is a classic, just look at them. So mysterious, wise and oozing with honor.. haha!" Tie said.
"Yeah yeah.." Stickers got a little red in the face.
"I think I have enough of what I need," The giant said.
"Why do you need all of that just to draw us anyway?" Guy asked.
"Rabbids tend to look pretty similar unless they're wearing something. Classics of my artform tend to exaggerate people who have more prominent differences between their bodies, but I like to exaggerate personalities. At least as I see them on the surface," The giant said, focused on his work.
"Sounds hard.." Guy said.
"Been doing it for years now. I have my methods," The giant said. He started humming something while he was drawing, getting into a groove. Guy listened to it for a moment.
"-But he, knows not what it means," He sang.
"Knows not what it means.." the giant said. Guy couldn't see his mouth, but the rest of the muscles on the giant's face seemed to elude a smile, "Finished!"
He turned the easel around to show the group.
Stickers was very strong and brooding in the center with high contrast while Guy was nervous, shivering with one of his hands in his mouth with a magnifying glass in his other hand. Tie was skipping, throwing flowers over all of them. At the bottom of the drawing was the giant's signature 'Serguei'.
"Bwahahaha!" They all laughed.
"Look at me! I'm throwing flowers!? Hahaha!" Tie said, touching the center of his face in two different spots.
"Yup. Definitely a pose I've probably done by now," Guy said. He imitated the drawing. He knew it was just for fun, but he was a little embarrassed that people could tell he was prone to fright.
"Mine isn't even exaggerated, that's just how I look," Stickers said.
"Yeah, I've always admired your six pack Tuller," Tie said sarcastically. Guy laughed.
"Glad you like it. I'll wrap it up for you," The giant, Serguei, took the drawing back and gently rolled it up and slipped it into a paper tube. He gave it back to them, Stickers putting the tube in their bag.
"Thanks man," Stickers said.
"Thank you!- for the snacks and laughter!" Serguei said. He pulled his muzzle up to eat.
Guy Tie and Stickers continued, and found the blacksmith booth about five minutes from Serguei near a lounge. Some rabbids were sleeping on the floor while others were seated eating or talking around the mitch match toddler chairs and tables.
Stickers ran up to the blacksmith booth. It was much larger than Guy was expecting, but it was all shut down with an 'gone fishing' sign on it. Pirates were surrounding it as security.
"Typical," Tie rolled his eyes.
"Eh, we got all night. Any ideas for what to do in the meantime?" Stickers said.
"I've been having fun just walking around," Guy said.
"Maybe we can wander around some more and see what catches our eye," Tie said.
"I'm down," Stickers said.
"Guy, you lead. I've already been here before. It's your turn to do some exploring," Tie said.
"Alright, but please let me know if I walk into something I shouldn't," Guy said.
"Ok...You shouldn't have walked into this boat," Stickers chuckled. Tie did too.
"Ok, but is this place actually dangerous?" Guy asked.
"It can be. That's all I'm saying," Stickers said, "Alright, go, go. We're waiting on you."
Guy nodded.
So far they had stayed on the same floor of the ship: An open air deck with rabbid made stores lining the walls. It was kind of like a market or a mall without a ceiling. Why not try going upstairs? Away from the shops? Were his friends open to do more than shop? Well, if they were going to complain they shouldn't have let him lead.
He walked up the steps which had been converted into a ramp to better suit the rabbids, his friends following.
At the top of the stairs was a balcony looking over the shops. Lining the edges were doors to the indoor parts of the ship. Most of the doors were modified or replaced to make them easier for rabbids to open. The rabbids walking about were less numerous and less active than they were by the shops.
Some were sitting on the floor playing cards but mostly chatting, while others stood silent overlooking the balcony at the trading below. Maybe most of the doors were where these rabbids resided.
Guy walked along them, leading the group through a much more grand door and into what appeared to be some sort of indoor lobby.
A large group of rabbids were congrating, talking about something. Two of them were leading them, one a lumberjack, the other, a bat inspired supervillain.
Guy looked to Stickers to see if it was safe to investigate. The elder rabbid nodded, approving.
"Ok so are we using Flintlock and Carney or are we using Treetops?" The rabbid dressed as a lumberjack wearing a trucker hat and red flannel said. He stood almost still and looked tired and bored.
"I vote Treetops and Flintlock," a rabbid dressed in black military garb said, smiling.
"Uh, what are we voting for..?" Guy asked the group. They looked at him.
"B-B-Bases for capture the-the-the flag," a rabbid dressed as a robot pirate fox said. He stammered like he was malfunctioning.
"Can anyone play?" Guy asked.
"You want to play?" The lumberjack asked.
"Me and my friends here," Guy gestured to Stickers and Tie.
Tie bowed.
"Sup," Stickers waved.
"That's cool!" said the rabbid dressed as a cutesy bat-themed supervillain, "More the merrier! Evens out the teams better too," She stuck close to the lumberjack and moved with vigor. The lumberjack didn't seem to mind though.
"Are we doing Treetops and Flintlock or what? Can we start?" A rabbid scientist crossed his arms.
"...Ok, ok.." the lumberjack rolled his eyes under his cap.
"Timb!" The supervillain said, "You get first pick! Out of the respect I have for you," she bowed.
"..Cool," The lumberjack kept his constant 'bored' expression but was now blushing, "Erm, ok. I pick Harmthway the Destroyer," He pointed.
A grizzly looking rabbid wearing steel armor full of spikes, sharp edges and a dozen different weapons strapped to him stepped forward.
"I pick the fuzz dude!" The supervillain said, pointing to him.
"Not my name but I appreciate the first pick," said a rabbid dressed like a blue dyed european shepherd.
It wasn't long before Guy realized himself and his friends were far from priority picks. They watched for a while as rabbid after rabbid was picked before them.
Guy didn't have enough reference to care. He loved to look at their costumes even if he didn't know what a lot of them were supposed to be. A slight majority of them were pirate or viking inspired.
"Hmmm," The lumberjack scratched his chin looking at the last few rabbids, "Beaver."
The rabbid squealed with delight and scuttled over to the lumberjacks group.
"Stickers!" The supervillain said, pointing to him. Stickers went to her line.
"It'll be an honor boss," Stickers said, saluting.
"Hmm. The manmade rabbid looking dude.." the lumberjack said.
"Alright.." Guy tried not to trip while he went to the lumberjacks group. He was on the opposite side to Stickers. A part of him feared doing this alone.
"Get over here Crocus!" The supervillain called out to a gardener rabbid.
"Oh me?" Crocus chirped.
"And the one with the tie," The lumberjack beckoned.
"Last but not least..." Tie mumbled trying to lift his ego. He ran up to Guy.
The two of them were on the same team, opposing Stickers.
"Hey! You two behave over there.." Stickers said.
"We won't!" Tie said, shaking his head.
Stickers gave him a look like he was serious.
"We'll be good Tuller," Guy assured them. Stickers looked satisfied.
The lumberjack spoke up:
"Team, listen.. if you want...We're on the purple team, so we're wearing these bandannas. Also our flag is this football that I painted a few hours ago. Don't peel the paint off..please. The yellow team also has a yellow football I painted. Um. I think they're wearing yellow scarves... Bata, what are you guys wearing?"
The supervillain waved a yellow scarf around her like a ribbon and had it playfully fly around the lumberjack's neck.
"Huh?" She asked.
"Nothing.." The lumberjack looked back at his team, understanding as well as charmed, "Let's head back to base and get ready. We'll take my truck." He was referring to toy pickup truck meant for wealthy toddlers to drive, although it was clearly modded.
Guy could already see there was going to be some trouble finding room to sit. There were eleven rabbids on the team and room for maybe six of them to squeeze together.
The lumberjack gave Guy a purple bandana, and then Tie, and then the rabbid behind them.
Guy started to tie his bandana around his neck. Rabbids were already getting on the truck. He started trying to tie it faster.
"Guy we gotta go!" Tie shouted while other rabbids got on.
"I know! I'm.. Shoot," He gave up trying to tie his bandana and held it in his hand. He ran to the developing pile on the back of the truck and jumped on. Tie did the same. It was extremely awkward to have to hold onto other rabbids he didn't know in order to stay on. They didn't seem to mind so he hoped this was just another thing that was normal to them.
"Hello everybody.." Guy said.
"Hello!" A majority waved back. They seemed in good spirits.
Tie waved to Stickers from within the pile. Stickers waved back.
12/25/2023
Title "Pleasure Cruise" from The Scary Jokes.