Guy sat up in his bed fully awake, remembering what he last saw. It had gotten worse. There wasn't only one rabbid anymore. The more he looked the more rabbids he saw in his room. They were on his desk, looking through his dresser, gathered on the floor. Before he could count them all, a good number of them picked up their various cameras and assaulted him with light. He yelped. Shielding his eyes, he threw himself out of bed, pushing anything in front of him out of his path. He opened the door to the stairs. There was still more! Not safe yet, he ran down through the kitchen, living room and finally out the front door. All the while rabbids were taking pictures of him. Was this a prank? When he opened the door to his front lawn rabbids were there too. They turned to face him. Microphones in hand. He stopped and backed into his porch, cornered.
A rabbid with a microphone was talking to a rabbid recording her, almost as if she was reporting.
Other rabbids were walking up to him with microphones, babbling with their strange noises. They sounded like questions, but how did they expect him to understand?
"What?" Guy blurted. He felt like a trapped animal about to explode. A couple of them tried to gesture what they meant. One tried drawing a message on a notepad, "W-What are you doing here!? What do you want!?" He tried to keep track of them all but there were so many.
They stopped. It was silent beside the swivel of their ears. Then, they all collectively ran. Some even climbed out of Guy's windows like a flood.
One tripped and dropped his camera. He turned to pick it back up, but something scared him out of it and he continued to run. Something he heard with his ears.
Guy held his chest with relief. They were all leaving. He listened for whatever was scaring them. If rabbids were running was it dangerous to him too? or were they all collectively delusional? Ah whatever. Maybe just a helicopter.
That was the largest number of rabbids he had ever seen, and they had been all over his house. Ew.
Once he thought they were all gone, Guy peeked inside before slowly stepping into his house. The place was a mess, but not trashed. The rabbids had enjoyed looking through practically everything he owned. They didn't always put back what they looked through, but most of the items weren't far from where they were supposed to be.
In the kitchen some of his snacks had been opened and partially eaten, as well as some cans of sparkling water from the fridge. It was a shame to throw it out, but who knew what the rabbids had their hands on last.
What had he been thinking about?
Oh yeah, the fact that he saw a rabbid with a syringe in his room! That was even before all the other rabbids showed up. What did that mean for him? Did that rabbid inject something into him? Take blood from him? He wasn't sure if the syringe was empty or not.
Even if it was empty when he saw it, the rabbid could have filled it soon after. Since there wasn't anybody in the room besides them at the time, there was a good chance the needle was for Guy. Guy shivered. If he had a bad trip or overdosed or just straight up died because the drug was toxic for his bloodstream, he didn't know how to handle it. He didn't feel bad so far, so maybe he was overreacting. Just because a rabbid had a syringe around him didn't necessarily mean he used it. Guy was probably going to be fine, right? He didn't need to take an expensive trip to the ER unless he noticed something for sure. Not exactly the 'better safe than sorry' route, but he didn't want to act on something he didn't know to be true.
This was starting to become too much for his psyche. Every day rabbids were involving themselves in his life, causing mayhem for no reason. Would his cameras come in already? And of course the emitters didn't work, or maybe they did. Guy found their pieces smashed up on the ground, so they happened to at least bother someone enough to break them. Still, they didn't work enough to keep all the rabbid photographers out, which was their only function. There goes all that money down the drain.
Guy sighed.
He had slept in a little longer than normal. If he was drugged, hopefully it was only to make him drowsy for photos or what have you. It was about time he started getting ready for work.
He cleaned up a little of the litter the rabbids stirred and started on his routine. While passing it in the kitchen, he noticed something in the cup he used to hold scissors and pencils. He swore it wasn't there before, but his favorite type of pen was in the cup! He thought Jeremy took the last one. Yoink! For whatever reason having it was deeply satisfying. He even took it apart to find the pen still had most of its ink left. It was going to serve him well today, and he was going to keep a better eye on it.
Listening to the TV to see the rabbid activity report, he shouldn't have expected any different when rabbid activity was still at a high. It was always like that this time of year he supposed, but for once it meant a lot of trouble for him in specific.
You'd have to be pretty interesting to get a bunch of rabbids to take photos of you, yet he still had no idea what he had done to gather so much attention to himself. It was all nonsense anyway. He didn't know why he was still trying to rationalize it.
He turned off the TV, grabbed his car keys and went outside.
He stopped.
His car wasn't there. No car. No way to leave.
He stood around dumbfounded when he realized it wasn't hiding or misplaced. It was either outside his house or it wasn't. How could he lose an entire car? It was easy to blame rabbids, but humans could steal vehicles too. Just one more thing for him to worry about when he got home. This week was getting close to the worst in recent memory.
He quickly ordered a rideshare taxi, but was still late to work due to the wait.
As if things couldn't get any stranger, when he finally got to Big Hope he found his car already there. It was as if he left his car here and walked home, which was a ridiculous thing to assume. Maybe someone had stolen his car and couldn't go through with it so they put it somewhere Guy could easily find it. Given how much rabbids knew about him, maybe they had stolen his car. It was less likely a human thief would return Guy's car or know both where he lived and where he worked.
All the implications were stirring in his mind. Rabbids were still obsessed with him, broke into his house multiple times and stole his car. How long before he was a dead man walking?
As he walked in, Guy was hoping to avoid his boss this time. Unfortunately Walsh was waiting at the stairs for him.
"Sorry for being late sir.. I think somebody must've stolen my car last night.." Guy winced, waiting for Walsh to bark at him. When he got a better look Guy realized the man was even more black and blue than yesterday. There was even a bandage wrapping around his left hand and an eyepatch around his left eye. His suit was clean besides the occasional blood stain near the openings at his sleeves and collar.
"Oh? I thought it was.. in the parking lot?" Walsh said, vaguely pointing to it.
"It is now.. I don't know what happened, but I know it's no excuse," Guy said.
"No no, no worries Kowalczyk. You don't have to apologize. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. I was very unprofessional.. the way I acted yesterday. I was not in a good head space, and I took it out on you when you've been nothing but loyal to us. I won't be acting like that or involving any verminators ever again. I want you to know that we have no bad blood between us.. right?" Walsh said.
"Uh, of course. No bad blood. I appreciate the apology," Guy said.
"Thank you. That makes me feel a lot safer- I mean better, to know that," Walsh said.
Guy nodded and slipped past him. Before Guy entered his office he stopped to peek at Walsh one last time. It seemed he had gotten some sense knocked into him to apologize. At least he recognized his crazy behavior. Guy walked into his office and closed the door behind him.
"Morning," Guy said to Jeremy.
"Good morning," Jeremy said, taking an earbud out of his ears.
"Do you have any idea what happened to Roman? He looks a little.." Guy said, sitting down.
"Ohh.. You don't know? He was beaten up by rabbids," Jeremy said.
"Rabbids?" Guy asked. He wished he was surprised.
"The ones at the meeting yesterday," Jeremy said.
"There were rabbids here after the meeting?" Guy asked.
"Yeah! Everybody saw them unless you left early. Did you leave after your talk?" Jeremy asked.
"No.. What talk?" Guy asked.
"When Roman asked you out of the room. What did he want with you? Oh, if you don't mind me asking of course.." Jeremy said.
"I.. He never asked me out of the room.." Guy thought hard about it.
"But he did.. Guy..? Don't you remember?" Jeremy asked. He waited for Guy to respond but the man was clearly deep in thought, "Guy..?"
"I think I do, but could you explain the whole thing again? I feel like I'm missing something," Guy said. Something wasn't right. He didn't know it yet but he could feel his stress starting to flood.
"Ok.. so we were both at the meeting and the investor came in," Jeremy said.
"Uh huh," Guy remembered this part.
"Oh, and we had gotten snacks earlier. You started to sweat and shiver, pretty bad, and I thought you were having an allergic reaction or a panic attack, but you said it was fine. Then Roman asked you to come with him somewhere. And maybe like, two minutes later the building was filled with a dozen rabbids or more. Really angry ones. They beat up Roman while he was out of the room, but I didn't see you. You weren't in the labs or anything so I thought maybe you ran out a back door," Jeremy said.
"Roman didn't ask me to go anywhere? You sure you're not misremembering it?" Guy said.
"No.. No, Guy! That's exactly what happened," Jeremy shook his head, "I remember looking for you for over ten minutes! I thought you might've gotten beaten up too! You don't remember?" Jeremy asked. Guy hesitated, realizing Jeremy was right.
"Oh.. You know what.. I just.. It got mixed up with another meeting I went to in the past! I remember now. My bad," Guy smirked, but it was fake. Looking back was like staring into an open door with an unnatural void behind it. Did he even drive home? Maybe nobody stole his car. Maybe he just left it behind. But why would he do that? Why couldn't he remember? Why couldn't he remember? "I ran out the back.."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure Jeremy," Guy said. He tried to focus on getting to work, hiding his face.
It was clear to him now this was worse than he used to believe. This wasn't the only time he had trouble remembering things! Ever since he was kidnapped by rabbids, his nights were getting fuzzier and fuzzier. Not that it was noteworthy anyway, but he couldn't remember settling down to go to sleep in the last couple of nights. He always remembered waking up, but never going to sleep. Just yesterday he had woken up with torn clothes. This time he woke up almost normal, but his car was still at work. It felt like a purposeful deception, as if somebody was trying to make it look like nothing strange was going on.
What if the rabbid with the syringe was a part of it? What if the drug the rabbid gave him caused this? To make him forget. That couldn't be good for his brain. Whatever it was couldn't be good for him at all if rabbids forced him to forget it. There was a rabbid playing with him and erasing the evidence. What was Guy supposed to do? If he couldn't trust his own memory what could he trust? As soon as he was alone he was vulnerable, but he was alone so often. How could he go home knowing his life was so much further from his control than he thought?
He stood up. This was too much for him to contain in his head.
He walked out without a word, making his escape to the furthest office bathroom. It was a one room bathroom unlike the larger more public one on the same floor. This way nobody could catch him losing it in public. He locked the door, leaned against the wall and held his head.
This couldn't be real. Jeremy said he went with Walsh somewhere and never came back. He said that rabbids had beaten him. Considering the way Walsh had acted the day before, as well as the injuries he had then, it was safe to assume this was Walsh's second attack from rabbids. If they could do that to Walsh what could they do to Guy?
They could very easily kill either of them. For reasons he couldn't even begin to understand, Guy had been spared from the violence thus far. There were no bites on him nor bruises. He didn't know what he could've done to get on their 'good side' if he could even call it that, while Walsh was constantly met with violence. Who knew what it would take to flip the switch and have them biting him too.
How could he even protect himself from such a beating if he couldn't even remember going to bed? Was he even going to remember what was happening right now? Based on everything else, probably. He always remembered work, which was a little disappointing. It was when he was alone at home, when it started getting dark that details got fuzzy. Of course it had been hard to notice before. Nobody had been around to tell him what happened after he blacked out.
Not anybody until Jeremy. He had looked for him for ten minutes amongst angry rabbids. Where did Guy go? Jeremy was the only one close to seeing past the curtain. Guy didn't like to admit it, but he had been wrong for seeing Jeremy as a careless person. He always put in the work that actually mattered, even if his methods were 'unprofessional'. Guy had been frustrated by stuff Jeremy wasn't even responsible for anyway. What Jeremy did take responsibility for was looking out for Guy when he didn't need to.
It hurt to admit but Jeremy was probably the only one trustworthy enough to help Guy right now. He would more than likely even do it for free just because he was that upstanding, although Guy would be willing to pay him if it respected the man's time better.
So what? What was the plan? Ask Jeremy to come over as if they're friends and they watch TV until Guy blacks out so he can ask what happened afterwards? What a way to expose himself as totally insane! He couldn't even completely admit to Jeremy that he was having blackouts. It was too embarrassing. Terrorized by rabbids? Forgetting stuff at night? Asking someone to set aside their life to help out a person like Guy? With this?
Why not just ask professionals or figure it out himself? It was just rabbids. Those goofy weirdos that dress up and get in people's way sometimes. Why was he reacting like he was in serious danger? Danger that required asking a near complete stranger to help him with? Desperate loser much. But, if Walsh looked that bad, there was no denying how dire this was. But how could he go to someone and tell them he felt threatened by zany idiots? He was looking death in the face and was utterly alone. Closed in by walls built by his own two hands. How could he know that and still be trapped? Did he really think it wasn't actually that bad? That in a week or so this would just be a passing nightmare?
There was a sound. A rhythm.
He thought it was his heart, or maybe a helicopter going over his house earlier, but he was only now noticing an undeniable beat in the air. It had been going on for quite some time. Rapid but not too repetitive, like a drum or some sort of machine. If he heard it around his house was it just in his head? It couldn't be both at his house and at his work, could it? He covered his ears and it muffled. So it was coming from outside him after all. Either that or it was a vivid hallucination. In the small bathroom the sound bounced all over the walls, making him uncomfortable. He had to leave.
Going back to his and Jeremy's office was difficult. As long as he was at work he had a chance to ask Jeremy for help. Was he going to run out of time before that happened?
"Do you hear that?" Jeremy asked.
"..What?" Guy asked.
"There's like a.. banging sound," Jeremy said.
"There is.." Guy said.
"Is that a drum? Like a snare drum? Maybe the neighboring business is having a veterans thing today?" Jeremy said.
"You think?.." Guy asked.
"Look dude I'm just thinking out loud here! I can't see it, I don't know. I'm just talking," Jeremy snapped.
"Sorry.." Guy avoided eye contact.
"I know you're stressed Guy, but sometimes I'm really not in the mood to have it taken out on me all the time!" Jeremy said
"You're right.." Guy said.
"..Oh?" He didn't expect that.
"You've been nothing but polite, I'm sorry. I'm just at a real low point right now," Guy mumbled.
"Uh.. thank you. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I understand we all can have our bad days or week, but I won't stand for you being rude to me all the time ok?" Jeremy said.
"Yeah.." That hurt so bad that everything in him was trying to keep him from crying. Everything Jeremy was saying was true and Guy didn't have anything to say but to accept it. He couldn't even get up to run back to the bathroom. He wouldn't be able to keep it in if he did.
"Guy, are you ok?"
"Sure.. It's cool."
"If you say so.. I know we don't know each other very well, but if you want to get whatever it is off your chest you can tell me. I won't tell anyone if it's more private. I'm not the gossiping type. Honest," Jeremy said.
"I.. I'd rather not.. Sorry," Guy said.
"I understand, and I'll try to leave you alone. It's hard enough to have to come into work feeling this way. I get it," Jeremy said.
Guy sighed.
While working he spent the rest of his time recovering from his near emotional breakdown. Guy really was a jerk. He couldn't even hide his terror well enough to keep Jeremy in the dark about how he was feeling. Out of anyone Jeremy would probably still help Guy if he knew what was going on. The man even understood more than half of it at this point given their shift yesterday. At the same time it was also clear that Jeremy had had enough of Guy's attitude. He said he was open to hearing about what caused it, but who knew if he really meant that or was just being polite.
It didn't matter much anymore. Guy had accepted he wasn't brave enough to ask for his help. Even if Jeremy figured out what happened to Guy at night, it was doubtful he could stop it. Guy would have security cameras soon and was overdue another call to the verminators. It wasn't as hopeless as it seemed.
By the time they were getting ready to leave, the stress of whether or not he should ask had left him. He wasn't going to ask. He gathered his stuff, already playing his plan for the night in his head. As soon as he was home he was going to call the verminators and get some real defenses.
Hopefully it wouldn't cost him everything he had, because he was feeling like going broke over this. He had to be careful not to say that around them. They were a business after all, but at least they found people with rabbid issues the norm. Not like the people he knew. If they found out, what would they think? A one time encounter was just a funny story, but when it got to repeat offenses and memory wipes.. What type of careless person suffered through that? What type of person went mad over that?
"Hey Guy..?" Jeremy stopped him before he went out the door.
"Hm..?" Guy stopped.
"You going to be alright?.."
"Maybe.."
"Is it.. rabbids?"
Guy fell silent.
"What are you going to do? Are they... affecting your memory?"
"I'm going to figure it out.." Guy sighed, "More verminators I guess. They're experts, I'm sure they'll know what to do."
"..Did you ever end up seeing that tie-wearing rabbid again?"
Guy stood up straight. It was like he had been hit with something cold.
"I think I saw him in my room this morning.." He mumbled. He was the one with the suitcase, the one with the syringe, the one with the tie. A repeat offender.
"Did you talk to him again? Find out anything new?"
"Not yet." He didn't have much to say other than threats to a rabbid like that anyway.
"Ok.. I hope you figure that out.."
"I will. I've got it under control. I'll be ok," Guy said, a little more stern than he intended.
"Ok well, have a good weekend," Jeremy said.
"You too," Guy said. Guy walked out the door.
Once he was outside the drumming sound was even clearer. He looked across the parking lot for its source but he couldn't spot it. Like a small bug with a loud chirp. It was still unnerving him, so he stopped looking and decided to go home.
"...Hello you've reached Southwest Verminators: rabbid security. This Norman speaking, how may we assist you this evening?" Norman asked on the phone. Guy sat on his couch with the TV on low volume.
"Hello Norman, uh, this is Guy Kowalczyk, is there anyone I can talk to about security?" Guy asked.
"Well yes, but this is the emergency line. If you want to book an appointment you can fill it out online or walk in to wait for a spot at our local headquarters," Norman said.
"Do you know if there's a spot open at the headquarters?" Guy was already looking up the address.
"Hold on..." Norman left the phone. Guy waited, finding his eyes glazing over his tv. A documentary show about the controversial life of a rapper was playing. The verminator was taking a little bit longer than he thought. He could only wonder if Norman was walking into a complicated scenario or just wanted a break, "Ok.. You still there?"
"Yes," Guy mumbled.
"Alright, so we are pretty busy due to a situation on the coast, but we've got plenty of detectives open, maybe not as much manpower," Norman said.
"Detectives..?"
"Yeah they're kinda like PIs, you know, private investigators. They manage troops and individual cases. They can get you set up with a salesperson if you don't really need the detective-like stuff though," Norman said.
"Can't I just talk to a salesperson now?" Guy asked.
"They'd prefer all non contractual stuff to be ordered online to keep up with demand for emergency troops. Is there anything else I could help you with?"
"Perfer? Are you sure I can't just order it over the phone? There's no sales line?"
"No sales line. It's either order supplies on our website, walk in, or book an appointment," Norman said.
"Alright.." Guy sighed.
"Anything else I could help you with?"
"No. Thank you."
"You're welcome sir."
Guy hung up. It wasn't the greatest business practice to force people to use such inconvenient options, but that was what happened when you didn't pay staff to man the phones he supposed.
On his way there he started to think he had lost his way, but getting close were vans of watchmen along the road and in the desert wilderness. Of course it was in the middle of nowhere. He felt it was comparable to nearing an army base. Considering what they were up against, they probably had to be militant to stay alive. At least he was going to meet with people who took rabbids seriously.
His last stop before the actual building was guarded by an electric fence and a concrete wall. He stopped. Verminators at the gate asked him to come out. Guy sighed.
"What's going on?" Guy asked, getting out of his car. He wasn't guilty of anything but being out of his car did make him anxious.
"We need to make sure there's no rabbids on you if that's ok," One said.
"We get this a lot but we aren't police and have no obligation to report you for any possible illegal possessions. We're just looking for rabbids," The other said.
"Just do what you have to," Guy waved for them to begin. He watched, wondering if there was a chance he did have a rabbid on him. Maybe the one with the Tie. That would be convenient. That rabbid had to be heavily involved in whatever was happening to him. He probably wasn't the rabbid behind the whole thing, but at least an accomplice.
"You're clear," One said.
"So can I drive in now?"
"Correct," The other said.
Guy got back in his car to drive up to the building, or buildings. Ahead was a sort of complex involving different sized buildings for different purposes connected by fifteen mph roads. It reminded him of the buildings around stores that shoppers didn't go into. The warehouses, factories and private offices. Warehouses... warehouses.. werehouses.
The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, like a ghost touched his back. This place was complicated, maybe a little bit frightening. It made sense to be intimidated, right?
Close to the border of the complex was the Business Center. It had more color and ads than the rest of the complex as well as signs along the roads leading to it. Clearly this was the only place they intended to interact with the public. Why wasn't it at a separate location without all the security? Maybe there was something here that customers needed to see. Something that had to be available in the same place business was conducted. He couldn't think of anything more obvious than the rabbids themselves.
Holding rabbids here had to make the place volatile. It was recommended to the common man not to provoke rabbids in any way unless you wanted to create a monster, but verminators made it their business. If these facilities held rabbids, they were keeping a hurricane in a bottle here. A storm Guy had to convince himself they had under control. He didn't live too far away, and it had been here ever since he moved. If he could trust it enough not to think about it before, he could trust it now when it was all around him.
Guy parked his car in front of the Business Center and walked in through the glass doors. The lobby reminded him of a hospital with elements of an auto mechanic. There were ads with friendly looking jumpsuiters on them for more complex deterrents and weapons. A waiting area had seats, coffee tables and magazines against the wall. A tv played live sports with captions hung from the ceiling. A busy assortment of groups sat apart from one another. Their wandering eyes clearly imagining stressors beyond sight. No sign of rabbids yet, besides their appearance in ad posters and toys on the front desk. He expected it to be a little more like an animal shelter if they held rabbids here. He couldn't hear any rabbid babble or see any cages. The verminators probably kept them away from customers. The complex was big enough.
Somehow Guy felt that if he saw a rabbid something bad would happen. Whenever he saw the bunnies they got away with what they were up to. Maybe if he didn't see them, they wouldn't get away with it this time. He could be certain that this was a place where justice could survive. A place where things were within the lines, under a weight heavier than they could lift.
He walked up to the woman at the front desk.
"Excuse me?" He said.
"Hmm?" She looked up from her monitor.
"Is there a detective open to talk for a walk-in?" Guy asked.
"I believe so. I'll let them know. Name?"
"Guy Kowalczyk," Guy said.
"Thank you Guy. It'll let you know when they're ready for you," The lady shooed him back to the waiting area. Guy understood. He found an open space two seats away from a worried couple.
"She's not going to like this," the mother said to the father.
"What else are we supposed to do? She doesn't understand the risks," The father said.
"Yes but she thinks of them as her friends. What is she going to think-"
"It doesn't matter what she thinks, they aren't her friends."
A man further away was on the phone, bouncing his leg up and down. He was in a suit far more expensive than Guy's own.
"Yes, I'm there right now. Set up traps tonight in the shed anyway. If they destroy one more golf cart somebody other than me is going to pay for it... Yeah I'm serious. All of this is preventable, I don't want to hear it. I'm doing my part, you do yours."
An elderly lady was looking through a magazine with one hand while trying to take an earplug out of her ears with the other. She couldn't get a good enough grip, continuing to fumble with the earplugs.
"Guy?" A verminator in full gear asked, coming from the rest of the building. Guy stood up and looked around, wondering if there was a possibility there were two Guys, but it was just him. He followed the verminator past the lobby through their offices. When they got to this verminator's office he opened the door letting Guy in.
"Please, please sit," The verminator said, shutting the door. Guy sat across from the verminator's desk. It had a lot of awards, mints, and further back, pictures of the verminator capturing a giant gray rabbid with a pole snare. In the same image next to him with another pole snare was a female verminator with wavy blonde hair and square sunglasses. On the walls encased in glass were newspapers with reviews of his work and old snares and pole tasers, "So, you are Mr. Ko-Kowalczyk? Am I saying that right?"
"Yes," Guy said.
"Ah good. Nice to meet you Mr. Kowalczyk, my name is Doug Dark. Hopefully I can assist you with your rabbid problems. I am one of the top detectives in this region and was just transferred here for the busy season. Now, being in our database, I already looked you up before I took your walk-in. If we could review, it says that you've had a rabbid break in and suspect you were kidnapped by rabbids this week. Reports noted that your sleepwalking may have something to do with it but nothing's concluded, and that you purchased some of our emitters. Is this all correct?" Doug said.
"Yes that's all true, but it's gotten worse," Guy said.
"Oh my. What's been going on? The more information we have the better," Doug said, he faced his computer, hands on his keyboard.
"Um.. are you going to.. Wear that the whole time?" Guy asked, gesturing to Doug's gas mask.
"Mr. Kowalczyk, if you do not mind, I take my safety very seriously. I have been working as a verminator for nearly ten years now, and have messed with a lot of dangerous rabbids who would gladly take my life. Keeping my gas mask on while at work allows me to remain anonymous when I am away. I know there are no rabbids in here now, but I do not take risks when it is always safer to be on guard. Just as much as I would like to keep you safe, I would also ask that you allow me to do the same for myself," Doug said.
"Uh, understood. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend," Guy said.
"No offense taken Mr. Kowalczyk! We are all good. I have mastered the art of projecting my voice while in uniform, but on the chance you need me to say anything again, don't hesitate to ask. So, you were going to tell me why you were in today?"
"Yes, I woke up to rabbids all over my house this morning. They took pictures of me, like some type of paparazzi, and then they all left for seemingly no reason. I think it was something they heard that might've scared them. Their ears were twitching," Guy said.
"Very interesting.." Doug said, typing.
"What?" Guy said.
"So this is their second break in this week, correct? Do you have any idea why the rabbids were taking pictures of you? And roughly how many did you see?" Doug asked.
"Maybe somewhere around thirty or fifty, and I'm not sure why they were taking pictures. Starting to think it's just nonsense or a joke on me.." Guy said.
"Uh huh. And they broke in even after you set up the emitters?"
"Yes. I found all of them broken on the floor. They destroyed them."
"Alright.. and have you been sleepwalking any more since your last report?"
"Uh.. I'm not sure."
"Why do you say that?"
"It's.. I don't know it's weird," Guy looked away.
"No need to be embarrassed Guy, we just want you safe, right?"
"Yeah, yeah.." Guy sighed, "Ok... so ever since I was kidnapped I haven't been able to remember my nights very well, if at all. I wake up wrong or with stuff missing. Like, just this morning I woke up with my car missing, but it wasn't stolen, it was still parked at my job, as if I walked home and forgot it. The night I left it, I drove it to a meeting, but I don't remember how the meeting ended. My coworker had to tell me. Apparently rabbids had swarmed the place and I didn't remember a thing. And nobody saw me leave either.. and.. and just this morning, before the camera rabbids, I saw a rabbid with a syringe near me while I was sleeping. I don't know if he used it on me but I don't want to rule out rabbids drugging me on purpose. And I think the same rabbid was at my work yesterday. Same tie.. I talked to him, well, I asked him yes or no questions and he said the rabbids were after me in specific. As in they weren't after my house or my money. No. Just me," Guy said.
"Alright..." Doug continued to type on his computer. Guy waited a moment but the detective didn't say anything.
"Well..? What do you think? Is there any way I can get them to stop following me?" Guy asked.
"There are methods, yes, but not guarantees. To start, we need more information. We know your rabbids have kidnapped you, followed you to work, repeated break ins despite emitters, and possibly drugged you and or took advantage of you during some mysterious black out episodes you've begun to have. Now, this is what I'd like to assume, is a case of rabbid infatuation. Rabbids like you. They are taking pictures of you, and visit you multiple times or even tell their friends to do the same. As long as you don't provoke them and don't give them any more reasons to come back, the infatuation should burn out and they'll find something else to preoccupy themselves with in less than a month. At least on average," Doug said.
"But I haven't given them a reason to mess with me in the first place," Guy said.
"Maybe from your perspective, but if a rabbid himself told you they were coming to visit you in particular, there is something about you that attracts rabbids that you aren't aware of. That's what we have to find out. Since you didn't mention it, I assume you haven't been sleepwalking recently?"
"I don't know. There's a lot I don't know because of my blackouts," Guy sighed.
"When your co-worker told you what you missed, did he mention if you were asleep or not?"
"He talked about it as if I kept on acting normally, besides sweating a lot I guess? I don't sleepwalk acting the same as when I'm awake, and I wouldn't sleepwalk without going to sleep first. Essentially, I wasn't sleepwalking," Guy said.
"That may be true, but there wasn't anybody around to confirm you continued to act as you normally did after your disappearance. You mentioned it isn't like yourself to walk home from work, leaving your car behind. At some point you ended up acting out of character, but we have no idea when or why," Doug said.
"Huh.." Guy thought about it, "Or, maybe I was still acting in character by not driving home.. If rabbids took over my work, maybe I didn't feel comfortable coming back to the building to get my car once I escaped."
"Could be. I have a feeling your blackouts may be caused by things outside of rabbids, yet are attracting rabbids. In my experience rabbids don't cause memory loss, but I can't rule it out just yet. The best way to figure it out would be to investigate on the field. You should also check in with your doctor to make sure you aren't suffering from a serious brain injury or tumor. Because of how unlikely it is that rabbids cause these blackouts, I want you to rule out the possibility it's something you should be in the hospital for instead of here," Doug said, tapping his head.
Guy nodded. A chill running through his nerves at the idea of him having some sort of brain tumor, "Besides that, I suggest watching you overnight to get an idea of what we're dealing with. Once I know what's been going on when you blackout, we can begin to make bigger steps towards getting rabbid attention off of you. Of course, full disclosure, being your bodyguard won't be for free," Doug said.
"I understand.." Guy said.
"My rate is hourly, daily or monthly with different types of schedules," Doug took out a piece of paper from a drawer in his desk and presented it to Guy. Guy sighed. Of course hiring a private investigator wouldn't be cheap. This was what he got for being too shy to ask Jeremy, but Doug was an expert, so maybe it was for the best.
There was a knock on the door. Guy turned around to see someone walk in. It was the verminator woman from Doug's picture. Black uniform with red insignia, wavy blonde hair and square sunglasses. She had a sharp grin on her face. Guy found it mildly irritating, smiling when walking in on a very sensitive conversation. She didn't even ask permission to enter.
"At ease detective. Just making the rounds, getting to know people. I have new intel I'm investigating. Check your email when you get the chance," She turned her attention to Guy, "Now who's this? Pleasure to meet youu..?" she reached out to shake hands.
"-Guy," Guy said, shaking her hand.
"Guy?.. Pftt! You sure are! Do you have a brother named Man? Ha! I kid, I kid," She said.
Guy noticed a rabbid next to her. He was wearing his own uniform, or maybe it was really just an outfit. A brimmed militant cap, a black polo shirt and the teeniest khakis Guy had ever seen. Around his neck was definitely some sort of shock collar. The collar part itself and the little charged block with prongs sticking into his neck.
If this rabbid went berserk, Guy doubted shocking him would do much. Why not put him in a muzzle or chain him to something heavy? He seemed harmless so far. Standing relaxed at the woman's heel like a bored dog.
The woman kept talking, "I'm Helen Swartz, verminator general, which is just french for, 'I run the place'. I transferred here for the busy season. I do a little bit of everything, but I like to think of myself as mostly a rabbid behaviorist. You see Cerberus is with me today," She pointed at the rabbid beside her, "People like to think that there is no such thing as a reasonable rabbid, but I know better. All rabbids are reasonable given enough motivation. You're motivated aren't you Cerberus?"
Cerberus nodded.
"That's what I like to hear," she gestured to Cerberus and the rabbid left the room, "You're in good hands with our Detective Dark, Guy. He's freakishly dedicated! A motivated hunter. Just last night he risked getting shot. He won't let you down. At least for the right price, ha! Right detective?"
"Yes ma'am," Doug said.
"So, what brings you in today Guy? Just last night we counted a record breaking number of rabbids traveling here while neighboring parts of the country had an unseasonal lul. You have any idea why that might be?" Helen asked.
"Uh.. I don't know.. Something's attracting them?" Guy said.
"Don't panic, this isn't a quiz. I just want to know if you've observed any suspicious or out of character behavior. The more intel I have the better job I can do to control local rabbid activity as a whole. A rabbid isn't an island. They communicate, talk! They talk a lot. Word gets round and they do things to people they wouldn't normally do because of their exchange of information. And when rabbids and humans are talking about the same things, referring to the same places, we get a pretty good idea of where to strike. If you saw something strange there's a chance our problems are related. I could even solve my half of the problem and end up solving all of yours. Your tax dollars go into funding my part so thank you, you're welcome" Helen said.
"Uh..?" Guy said.
"Have you seen anything that might be attracting rabbids or not?"
"No.. We're still figuring that out.. s-sorry," Guy said.
"Hey! No worries! It's all good. I'm just such a nosy nelly sometimes! Couldn't help but ask since I've been hearing some strange things from the wild rabbids around here. Wanna get a sense of where it might be coming from by asking locals. You two continue with your meeting. Hopefully we'll find out more the next time I see you, eh?" She looked at Doug. Doug sat up a little in his chair.
Helen turned to leave but stopped when Cerberus came back in with a coffee and a can of cola. He gave Helen the coffee, and put the cola on the ground to free up his hands. He pointed to the can and rubbed his chest in a clockwise circle with an open palm. His face pleaded for the drink.
"Do you think you've earned a soda?" Helen whispered. It came out sharp.
Cerberus stopped his sign and seemed to wilt. He gestured to the side of his forehead, shrugging, unsure.
"You will get cola when you earn it! Now put that back before you embarrass yourself further," Helen whispered. She went out to the hall with him. Cerberus moving much faster this time. Helen shut the door.
Guy waited until he knew she wouldn't walk back in to say something.
"..Who was that?" He asked Doug.
"My boss. Excuse her, she doesn't have the best people skills but she is a huge icon in the verminator world. She's ex-military. Worked with rabbids during the initial crisis. Believe it or not a lot of our common knowledge about rabbids today comes from her research when in the military," Doug said.
"Geez.. So what's she doing here then?" Guy said.
"We're actually both here for the season. Me for business and her for her research. Doesn't mean anything terrible has happened, she visits this town every year," Doug said.
"But didn't she say that there is a record number or rabbids coming to this town? Are we sure something terrible didn't happen?" Guy asked.
"It might just be the Angry Ship. A cruise liner that was taken over by rabbids and stops by this town this time of year. It attracts a lot of rabbids. There's a good chance more rabbids came to visit it this year than we've measured previously. No need for alarm. Helen might be looking for reasons why it could be something else, but that's not for us to worry about yet, if at all. We still need to figure out you, Mr. Kowalczyk. Then we can worry about the Angry Ship and everything else," Doug said.
"..Right," Guy said. One thing at a time.
After the long process of understanding and signing some paperwork, Guy had eventually agreed to two weeks of a personal nightwatch service and private investigator service (which came together at a discount). It was arranged that the detective would arrive at Guy's house from six pm till four am, as well as any other time for investigation given the private investigator part of the contract.
When Guy was leaving he almost bumped into Helen again. She was too busy pestering people in the waiting room to stop him again. Guy could've told her about the syringe or his memory issues, but her poor people skills made him distrust her. Maybe she was genuine in wanting to help Guy but for now he didn't like her energy. Being everyone's boss she was bound to be able to read Guy's report in the database anyway. He didn't mind her reading it as long as he didn't have to talk to her again. Leaving, he caught himself staring at Cerberus, who was still standing close to Helen. The rabbid stared back, tilting his head. Guy stopped staring. He walked out faster. The last thing he wanted was more attention from rabbids.
After getting back inside his car he took the opportunity of still being on verminator property to call for a doctor's appointment. He scheduled it for tomorrow since he had the day off. Tomorrow he'd know for sure if he had a brain tumor. He didn't like thinking like that. Did he even have symptoms of a brain tumor? Briefly googling, he wasn't having any headaches or balance issues. Still, it wasn't like he was at the peak of health either. He was going to search up more but he figured it wouldn't do him any good. Just like his investigation, he needed more information before he could worry about things he didn't know. He wished he could know faster than a day from now. At least one thing would be solved tonight.
He'd soon understand what he kept forgetting every night. Would he act strange? Or be the same he always was but with no memory of it?
It was weird, but he was pretty excited to know. One less mystery in his life. He was expecting something this time. He could do something about it. What would that be like? To act knowing he would never recall it? He supposed one of the worst things he could do was go out and watch a movie or decide to do something bold. Or maybe watching a new movie would be a good way to test his memory (at home of course).
He doubted Doug and himself would have much to do anyway. Guy could take notes on the movie and keep track of the time to understand when his blackout started, if it even did. Doug didn't think rabbids caused his blackouts but if no rabbids showed up and Guy remembered the whole night, it was more likely rabbids were the cause. Rabbids ran away the last time Guy had called the verminators, so he was confident Doug's presence would give him a rabbid free two weeks. Maybe the rabbids would give up altogether and things would go back to normal. Now that was something worth thinking about.
When Guy got home his cameras had come in the mail. With something to do while he waited for Doug, he started to put them up in places that could get the best views. One for the living room and one for the kitchen, one for his office and one for his room, and four for each outdoor wall to see his yard. He hoped nobody saw him doing this while he was outside. What kind of paranoid nutcase put up cameras all over his yard? Some of the cameras were high enough to see into his neighbor's yards, not that he had any interest in them. He didn't want people thinking that he did, but explaining it to them would make him seem guilty. It was better not to bring it up. Hopefully people didn't assume the worst.
He made sure to aim them at possible entrances to his house, but they were supposed to move when detecting motion anyway. He also couldn't tell what their range of sight was until he connected them to his computer.
That last step would have to wait until all of them were drilled into their respective walls. Taking a break after putting a couple up outside, he checked the time.
Six already? Doug was supposed to have been there by now. Maybe it was petty to expect Doug to be at his house a little before the time they both scheduled, but why pay the man a whole hour of work if he was there for only forty minutes of it? Maybe if it wasn't so bad he'd forgive the verminator. After all, Guy was hoping to end this rabbid nonsense and Doug seemed like the expert to help make that happen. He could forgive him for being late if he could make Guy feel safe again. For now he wouldn't mention it.
Even more time passed since Doug was supposed to arrive. Six thirty. Guy was fuming, although making good progress on getting all his cameras synced to the desktop in his room. With that almost complete, there were less and less things to distract him from how angry he was.
He had that verminator's card. He dialed the number into his phone and waited for Doug to pick up.
"Hello? Guy, is that you?" Doug asked.
"Yeah?! Uh! Where are you!? You said you'd be here thirty minutes ago! What's the holdup!?" Guy barked.
"I understand your frustration Mr. Kowalczyk, and I deeply apologize for my tardiness. If you'll hear me, there's been an accident on the freeway. I can't see it from where I am but there's a giant flame ahead. We're boxed in I'm afraid.. bathed in this.. majestic red flicker.." He said. Guy sighed.
"Just get here as soon as you can, ok?"
"That's what I've been doing! Hey, if something happens call the emergency verminator services. It'll come out of my pocket. Save your receipt, you have my word!" Doug said. Guy heard something on the other end of the call. A familiar beat, like a helicopter, more like a snare drum.
"...Do you hear something? Something like a drum?" Guy asked.
"Is it that loud? I suspect it might be rabbids, but maybe that's just my old verminator brain assuming that, haha. Rabbids play a lot of instruments, but it could be anything really. Reminds me of one of those military drummer boy routines or whatever they're called, er but I digress. I'm going to try to get out or figure out what's going on. Remember what I told you. Out of my pocket, you have my word, I'll repay you if you need an emergency call," Doug said.
"Yeah.. uh, thanks. See you.." Guy said. He hung up. That drumming sound had been playing at his house and at his work and then on the phone.
There was a possibility it wasn't coming from something but maybe someone. Maybe even a rabbid like Doug had suggested, although he didn't seem to think of it as a big deal. Maybe it wasn't, but it was eerie in a way Guy couldn't pinpoint.
If he was being followed by a ghost drummer, why? If the drummer was nearby Doug now, what did that mean? Did the drummer cause the accident to stop Doug on purpose? That couldn't be true, could it? It was so unlikely. The rabbid would have to know so much about things he couldn't have possibly known. Maybe there were multiple rabbids playing drums for some crazy rabbid event or these were rabbids new to the city that happened to be playing across multiple areas. They probably didn't even have to do with him. Just an overlap of activity from that cruise ship that was attracting them.
He could only hope the crowd didn't invade his home while Doug was in traffic. In the event of an emergency, who knew if Doug would actually pay him back. People could be oddly fickle with money even if they were trustworthy in other situations.
If something happened at least he would catch it on the cameras this time. Most of them were online besides his office, but he was hoping he wouldn't need them. Still, he could already see a future where he got almost all the information he needed, but the camera set to capture it wasn't connected. What an annoying future he just made up.
Without Doug, Guy could still do his movie experiment. He brought some printer paper, a clipboard and a pen with him downstairs.
'6:45
Going to pick a movie to watch. Doug is stuck in traffic. There is no drumming sound but it was at my house earlier, at work, and nearby Doug when he was on the phone with me. Maybe it doesn't have to do with me. Feeling a little jittery.'
What was on streaming that he had never seen before and wouldn't mind trying? Definitely something lite. He wasn't interested in having a deeply emotional experience with a movie tonight, he was stressed as it is. He wiped his brow.
Maybe one of those newer Godzilla movies? Not the serious ones, the silly fun action flick ones. If the night went on long he could watch the whole series of movies too, at least if they were all on the same streaming platform.
The lights flickered. Everything in the house went dark. The power went out. He sat in darkness dumbfounded.
"You have got to be kidding," He said aloud. Now what was he supposed to do?
Before he could transition from surprised to angry, the lights turned on again.
"Thank goodness.." He sighed.
He went back to his paper.
'6:55
The power went out briefly. I'm gonna watch a Godzilla movie. If it's scary at all I'll regret it. I don't need extra stress from a movie. I'm hoping it's mostly silly. Like wrestling but with a giant lizard. Not like John Wick. That movie's cool but sometimes a little graphic..'
He was going to write more but he was having trouble gripping his pen, like he had partially lost feeling in his hands. He shook them to try to initiate more blood flow.
He was shivering now. Maybe he needed water? He got himself a glass from the kitchen and sat back down. Taking a sip didn't help much. He had to expect the water to take its time. Taking another sip, he gasped for air once he was done. Shivering, he held his glass out in front of him. He couldn't hold it straight, unable to keep it from making tiny waves. Getting up so suddenly must've made him dizzy. Was he coming down with something? Normally something as simple as getting up didn't affect him so much. There was something really wrong.
He put his glass down.
'7:02
I don't feel very well. Got some water but I feel like I'm burning up, and I'm shivering really bad-'
A droplet of sweat fell from his forehead onto his paper. He wiped his brow. He was drenched. He shook his head without even thinking. Trying to get something out of his head. Pirates, gunshots, waterslides. He stood up, audibly breathing now. He paced in a spot. He needed to move. Something underneath him. He couldn't sit still. It was making him squirm, making his heart beat loud. What was this? There was something about it that had no structure, no end. Something infinitely beyond. It had to be nerves right? But what about?
Didn't Jeremy mention him having a panic attack during the meeting? That or an allergic reaction, but Guy didn't have allergies.
It was seven o'clock now. His meeting yesterday was at six thirty. This was starting to add up. This was the part he didn't remember each night. He had to keep a record. He went back to his paper. He tried to keep a grip on his pen but his muscles didn't like it. All their tiny quivers grinding around his bones in inaudible creaks like nails on slate.
He snapped and flipped the clipboard. He tried to stand still. Chill out. This had happened before, he wasn't going to die. His heart wasn't going to stop no matter how strong it seemed to explode. He held his head.
He peeked through his hands to face the door.
What was he thinking? What was he thinking bringing a verminator here? Doug could get here any minute, and Guy had yelled at him for being late. That would only motivate Doug to get here faster. What if he got in? Guy tried to run up to his door to lock it but he didn't have the energy to sprint. It was already locked. Of course it was, he didn't want any rabbids getting in.
Rabbids. There was something he knew about those creatures that was dawning on him. Something whole. Something exciting and scary like summer rain and lightning. Something close to his heart.
He leaned on the door. He didn't want to rest but he could hardly keep himself standing. His skin was really burning up now.
Why didn't he want Doug to find him? He was so close to the answer. He nearly went faint, but he caught the doorknob and picked himself back up. What was that? What was happening?
Guy paused to think. This wasn't random, this was what he had been forgetting every night. He didn't think it would start coming back to him, but it was. Something was coming back like water leaks in a dam. Almost every single part included rabbids.
He didn't even know why, but he checked his arms.
They were already getting smaller, and almost completely covered in white fur.
Guy was a rabbid.
Under any other circumstance this would've been the most horrific thing he could imagine, but as his memory became whole so did he. All his feelings of dread were melting into love. Sure, he had invited a verminator to his house to capture himself, but who else got to have such a problem? He'd figure it out like always, or maybe more like how Stickers and Tie always figured it out. If he saw Doug he'd just run out into the infinite, never to be heard from again, at least for twelve hours.
2/12/24
Title from "Modern Man" by Arcade Fire