The next day his dad was up earlier than him, and walked into his room.
"Close the door, you'll let the heat out.." Jerry said, still sleepy.
"Oh sorry," His dad closed the door, "I'm bored. You wanna go walk around with me?"
"Outside?" Jerry asked.
"Of course!" He said.
"But isn't it cold out there?" Jerry asked, putting his arms under the blanket as soon as he was done talking.
"It's cold in here! Why don't we go out and get our hearts pumping!? That'll warm us up!" He said.
"Give me fifteen minutes please.." Jerry said.
"Ok, but you better be up by then," His dad said, leaving and remembering to close the door behind him.
Jerry almost overslept, too cozy to want to face the icy winds outside, but his dad had a point. Getting back to the blanket would be much more rewarding after some exercise, even if he hated starting.
He still made sure to wear more than he usually would for school.
Oddly his dad had decided to wear a verminator uniform, all but the mask.
"Where did you get that?" Jerry asked as they walked outside together, following the road.
"I stole it," He said.
"What?"
"Jerry, it was given to me! It's for safety. The material's pretty durable," He said.
"Didn't two verminator's die trying to protect themselves with the same outfit?" Jerry asked.
"Only two," His dad said, "Sorry they didn't have any in your size."
"I wouldn't want one anyway. It looks stuffy," Jerry said, "Er.. have you noticed Mom acting a little strange since she got back from the town meeting?"
"Weird how?" His dad asked.
"Well you both seemed pretty upset, but she seemed to be blaming herself for this. She was talking to me about what it would be like if I was adopted by another family. Like I could've had a better life somewhere else. I wouldn't want to give up my own parents! Life could be better, sure, but that doesn't mean I would trade you two for it, you know? Why would she say that?" Jerry said.
"Well, you're definitely right about our stress.. We're going through a lot right now and sometimes that might make you feel guilty as a parent. All we want is to make sure you can live your life to the fullest, and your mother might be feeling insecure when stuff like this happens. The worst part is that since the fugitive is still on the loose we don't know if we should expect things to get better or worse yet," He explained.
"Do you feel insecure over this?" Jerry asked.
"...Yes, but it's nothing for you to worry about. It's grown up stuff. Just let us figure it out and you enjoy being a kid," His dad said.
He started to head on a trail in the woods.
"Hey, isn't this a little dangerous going in the woods where there aren't any people?" Jerry asked, pausing before following. His dad stopped too.
"The murderer is on the run. It wouldn't make sense for him to attack for no reason. It'd alert people of his location," His dad said.
"But I'm not just anybody.. There's a chance Arm might be after me, remember.. I don't know if I should.." Jerry said.
"Ah.. You have a point there. We don't have to go in there if you don't want to. We should still hang out outside though. Maybe you want to get your camera?" His dad said.
Jerry shrugged.
"I can't think of anything to record," He said.
"Really? Nothing?" His dad asked.
"The last time I tried to tape something my friends and I got into an argument, but really it's been hard to focus on it with everything going on. It feels like everyone's unhappy or like they're not telling me something. It's almost like I'm not sure what's real or what anything even means but it's making me upset anyway? Maybe?" Jerry said.
"I'm sorry Jerry. I was hoping through all this it'd feel more novel to you. Are you and your friends ok?" He asked.
"I guess. I was worried they might have been lying to me about what Arm looks like," Jerry said.
"And do they know?" His dad asked.
"I can't tell. They told me they didn't, but I'm scared people know and might think Arm looks like me, or that I would do something like that! Did mom tell you? I think Arm has rabbid condition, but you can't tell Hellen cause she doesn't like talking about it! I think she'll get mad if she knew I knew that," Jerry said.
"Oh you don't have to worry about her with me son, she hardly ever acknowledges me," He rolled his eyes, "But yes, your mom told me and also told me not to tell. Your secret's safe, don't worry."
"Do you think people know what Arm looks like? I mean, why shouldn't we? If we're trying to find a criminal we should know what he looks like yet there's nothing! Mom even said he was chased yesterday IN TOWN and killed someone. Has nobody seen him?" Jerry asked.
"I'm sure people have seen him.. Doesn't mean everyone has. The verminators work weirder than most. It's not as if people like all the secrecy. Why do you think your mom went to that territory meeting yesterday? People aren't too happy with the verminators and neither are we," His dad said.
"You say that wearing one of their uniforms," Jerry rolled his eyes at the irony, "Makes you look like a hypocrite."
"It does doesn't it?" His dad chuckled.
"...You know what's weird?" Jerry asked.
"What?" His dad asked.
"After they catch Arm, I kinda.. I kinda want to see him.. As long as it was safe. I don't know.. I know it's stupid and he's no role model at all, but I thought I was the only person with this disorder. I feel like I should know what it's like for other people. Even scary bad killer people. I wish I could stop thinking about it.." Jerry said.
His dad sighed.
"I think how you're feeling is only natural, as conflicting as it might be. I'd probably be the same in your position. Your disorder is very mysterious, and frankly very interesting! I don't fault you for wanting to know more about yourself. Just as long as you don't put yourself in harm's way or anything. I'd hate to see you get hurt," He said.
"Thank you.." Jerry said.
"I wouldn't go around telling your mother that though!" His dad said.
"I figured.." Jerry sighed, "Do you think maybe there might be more people with my disorder? Maybe ones that won't try to kill me?"
"Hopefully. Then maybe you'd finally be out of a job," His dad said.
"As long as they would like doing it. I wouldn't force them to take my job if they didn't want to," Jerry said.
"Even if you had to keep doing it?"
"Well, maybe for now sure, but eventually I want to move away and do my own thing. Nobody's forcing me to do my job, I just feel responsible for it since I'm really good at it," Jerry said.
His dad winced.
"Well.. I'll be there when you decide," He said.
They kept walking on the road rather than the forest. They continued around town and visited the library, where even more people than usual were reading together and sharing blankets.
Inside Jerry's mom was already there, helping out by handing out free soup her and her colleagues had made.
"Hello boys," His mom said when she saw them get into line.
"Hi sweety," His dad said.
"Hi mom," Jerry said.
"Anything interesting in the woods today?" She asked.
"We didn't end up going," His dad said.
"Oh.. Well probably for the best," She said, nodding slowly.
"Is it free?" His dad asked.
"Yes! It's just a little something to keep everybody warm through this," She said.
"Sweet!" Jerry said.
"More on the savory side don't you think?" His dad said, smelling the air.
When they got to the front of the like they each grabbed a foam bowl and let Mrs. Speaker pour in the beef soup. Jerry let her take the bowl from his hand to fill it since he was so short.
Walking slowly to keep from spilling it, they headed to the designated seating area, where Jerry and his dad sat and ate with the plastic spoons they were given. People around them were standing and sitting around them, some speaking, others signing with one hand, their soup bowl in the other. The soup was a surprise, but a needed one. With how frigid, dry and static all things were now, it was such a relief to hold and eat something that warmed his hands and his stomach like this did, especially when he expected to be cold for so much longer. His dad seemed to enjoy the food in a similar way, as they both ate fast without saying anything.
When they were done they helped others throw away their empty bowls before leaving just to give back a little something. Then they were on their way back home to figure out what else they wanted to do on the way.
"Do you think having rabbid condition affects how I act? Like, that type of act is in Arm's head too? Something everyone with rabbid condition has in common?" Jerry asked as they walked back up the road, the house in sight.
"What type of act do you think?" his dad asked.
"I don't know. I think I would know better if I met someone with it. Then I would know because we'd both see it," Jerry said.
"Is that the reason you want to see Arm?" His dad asked.
"I guess," Jerry shrugged, "I feel like that's just one thing though. I want to know all about us, you know? Not just one part. I feel like there's a lot I don't know."
"I'm sure you'll know a lot more soon enough," His dad said.
"Especially since I know Arm's out there. If he's imprisoned with the verminators maybe there'll be a lot of time for me to ask to speak with him. He'd only be put underground in their prison. He'd always be around us technically," Jerry said.
They walked up to the house, Jerry's dad opening the door and letting his son go in before him.
"That is true, unless they transfer him to another prison. Maybe Hellen or whoever's in charge would do that to make the town feel safer," His dad said.
"Then I guess I'd just have to find out where that is in the future," Jerry said.
He looked at the living room for a moment. Something was off. His ears twitched. He couldn't identify it so he shrugged and continued.
"Do you wanna make tea?" Jerry asked, "I have some gift tea in my room we could make. It would be nice and warm like the soup!"
"Oh good idea. I'm going to have to use the grill outside to boil it though," His dad said, getting a kettle from the kitchen.
"Let me go get it," Jerry said, leaving to run upstairs.
He didn't have any space dedicated to something like lavender gift tea, so the box sat unwrapped on one of his dressers. The next time his aunt came over she might ask him about it, and if he said it was good, he'd like to be able to prove it. He swiped the box off of his dresser and left to go back downstairs.
He went through the living room, and faced the kitchen. He froze. He had to keep looking in order for it to really settle in. His dad had his arms up, and was facing the counter, trying to look behind him. There, pointing a shotgun at his father's back was a figure at Jerry's height almost concealed with a large leather jacket and hat. The disguise did little to hide features of the figure that were strikingly familiar, especially his face. It was like looking into a mean twisted mirror. Those eyes that stuck out, the fuzzy white furred face and the pink hairless lips, large mouth and prominent teeth. Besides that there were things about this figure that were near alien to Jerry's. On the right side of the figure's head around his eye was a bulky cybernetic attachment that had a thick wire coming out of it. The wire was attached to the figure's right arm, which was a shiny metal prosthetic straight out of a sci fi. It looked supernaturally strong. That very arm was holding up his shotgun towards Jerry's father. Jerry didn't know how to act, frozen in fear. Arm was staring right at him.
His heart beat started to get faster along with his breathing. If he moved he could startle Arm and cause him to shoot and in an instant his father would be gone. Jerry could see his father's expression of terror, his light shiver. It was like he was a different person. His dad tried to crane his neck just enough to see what was going on behind him, but it didn't seem to be working.
"No sudden moves! Or I'll shoot!" Arm said.
Jerry's ears perked up. Arm really was speaking, and Jerry could understand. It wasn't like anything he'd ever see from himself.
"Slowly walk to me! SLOWLY!" Arm barked.
Jerry nodded and walked over to Arm, dropping the tea and holding his arms up. He could feel his fur stand on end. He tried to calm his breathing but the feeling was getting more intense. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. There was a very high chance that his father was going to die. Arm had killed twice before already. Was he going to kill Jerry's dad to keep the witnesses low? His mind started getting fuzzy.
"Make a single move and I will not hesitate," Arm growled, his eyes wide.
Jerry was fighting his feeling. Everything in him was poised for an outburst. He hadn't felt this disturbed in a long time. What was within him that wanted nothing more than to bite Arm like a crazed dog? Did any other people ever get tunnel vision this thick and angry?
When he got close to Arm, Arm's fur seemed to stand on end too, like Jerry was making him nervous. Was Arm going to jump at him? Was he going to pull the trigger? Arm moved. Jerry snapped, jumping at Arm's cybernetic arm and pushing it off aim. Arm pulled the trigger, hitting the cupboards but luckily not his father. Jerry's father fell to the ground out of panic and scrambled to get up. He turned and saw Jerry fighting Arm for the gun, Jerry nearly losing. His dad picked himself up and bolted out the front door.
Arm aimed at him as Jerry actively tried to ruin his aim. Arm shot again. Jerry looked, but couldn't tell if his father got away. Arm kicked the distracted Jerry off his gun and pointed it at him. Jerry gasped and braced for impact. Arm pulled the trigger. The punch of the shot launched Jerry into the wall. He held his body and gasped in pain. It had hit him right in the chest point blank, the force terribly strong and the pain electrically hot. He put his hands over his chest looking for blood. His sweater had holes, but only scratches on his skin. Buckshot rolled off him like sand. Before he could think Arm tackled him and stood on his back. He began tying up Jerry's arms with a rope.
Was it rubber? What did rubber bullets look like? Why bother with rubber if you were on the run? Jerry quickly gave up struggling while Arm was tying him. The fugitive's mechanical arm was far too strong to resist. Once tied, Arm wasted no time picking Jerry up on his shoulders and running out the back door.
They were past his backyard and into the woods fast, and Arm kept on running. Jerry noticed Arm's left, non-mechanical hand holding him was the same shape and size as his own. If he could take off his own arm and give it to somebody else, that was what it would look like. Besides the cybernetics, Jerry and Arm looked exactly alike. Exactly. Even with his hat, Jerry could see the bumps of his hidden ears underneath. What would people think of him now? Did they know Arm was practically his twin? Jerry was grateful for the cybernetics, if only for being able to tell them apart, but what did it matter? Arm was probably going to kill him, or worse.
After a while of running non stop Arm jumped down a hole in the ground. Dirt was disturbed around it, recently dug.
He dragged Jerry down a long narrow tunnel that went deeper until it opened up to a limestone cave lit by an electric lantern. Arm threw Jerry to the back of the cave. With his arms tied behind his back Jerry couldn't stop himself from landing on his chin on his way down. He had trouble getting up with such small feet and his arms tied, but using the wall he got back up again. He had a feeling things were about to get much worse.
"You! You translate for the verminators! Are you the only translator or are there more?! Explain! NOW!" Arm said, pointing his gun at him. The buckshot might've been rubber but it still hurt far too much for Jerry to take the threat lightly. With his hands tied up he couldn't say anything. Even if he did, would Arm understand? "Now! EXPLAIN! NOW!"
Jerry braced for impact. Instead of getting shot, Arm flipped the gun around and smacked him in the side of the head with the butt. The strike was strong enough to throw him to the ground again. Arm walked up to Jerry, watching him writhe in pain over it.
"What kind of rabbid are you!? What could they possibly have on you that's scarier than me right now! Talk dammit!" Arm picked him back up to standing, holding him in place.
Jerry couldn't look at him, his face still stinging from the hit, hoping there wouldn't be another but knew there was probably a lot more waiting for him.
Arm lost his temper and roared, shoving Jerry into the wall.
"TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW! ARE THERE MORE?! ARE THERE MORE OF YOU?!" He spit, his eyes red.
Jerry shook his head fast.
Arm pushed Jerry's head into the wall and pulled his ear close to his mouth.
"That better be the truth, because if it's not, I'm taking you to rot in hell with me, do you understand?" Arm whispered.
Jerry nodded.
Arm let him go and stood back to look at him. What was he thinking? What was he going to do now?
"Who do you think you are? Picking them over your own kind.. Infiltrate our sacred speech for short term freedoms? My friends are out there right now in danger looking for me! And they can't know where I am because of you! And for what!? You act like you're one of them but you're not! You're a slave! A slave! A pathetic self hating pretender who thinks he's a man!" Arm pointed at him, "I've watched you, watched you for a long time. You move your hands or whatever and they do it back, but they'll never be your brothers like rabbids are. They'll never do for you what we do for each other. Everything the humans promised you is going to wash away in the blink of an eye one day. Humans are made out of sand and live by the tide but we are stronger, rock solid. You let humans get too close, they'll bury you with them! One day they're going to put down their sweet golden dog to invest in the next best thing. Or maybe they'll break you into the next best thing," He extended his mechanical arm, running his other hand down it, "And there won't be anyone around who really cared about you to stop them."
Arm paused for a second, panting. Jerry stared at him, shivering.
"Don't have anything to say? No argument to try and defend your pathetic life?" He asked.
Jerry slowly shook his head.
"Of course. You're a coward like them too," Arm said. He sighed and went to the corner of the cave to pick up a lantern. He walked with it over to a makeshift radio station on the floor plugged into a car battery. With Arm's focus off him Jerry leaned into the wall and silently cried. Maybe the worst of it would be over soon. Maybe now Arm's friends would find him and leave for good, and Jerry wouldn't have to fear another strike from Arm. No more loud sounds, kicks, shots and outbursts. The cave was so chilled, hard and uncomfortable. Even without Arm's attention the pains from the buckshot and the strike from his gun still sizzled. At any time Arm could decide he wasn't done with him. He could only hope the worst was really over, and soon he'd be back home.
"This is Arm requesting communication.. Can you hear me? This is Arm requesting communication, this is urgent..." Arm said into the radio. He paused to look at Jerry for a moment before focusing on the radio again. Jerry held his breath, but Arm didn't walk over to him.
Suddenly loud pops and explosions shook the cave so loud Jerry thought it could be right next to his face. Arm held his ears. He looked to the exit tunnel. A second set of explosions collapsed the dirt. Arm ran up to it to try and dig out, but a part of the ceiling started to crack and collapse. He paused and looked at Jerry. The shock turned him even paler than he already was. A bigger closer explosion broke up the rocks around them and in an instant everything was dark. In less than a second a massive rock fell on top of Jerry squishing and contorting him.
The entire cave had collapsed on top of them. Jerry tried to yelp but he couldn't move. The intense pressure and pinching electrifying pain was flattening Jerry at different levels all over his body, but his head and chest were especially crushed and bent into the airless narrow crack he was forced into. So flat, his chest couldn't even rise to make space for air to enter his lungs. The only parts of him he could move was his right hand and the base of his right ear. He could feel his panic rise the longer he tried and failed to breathe in. His right hand pawed at the air pocket out of sight hoping to get a grip on something to help him, not that he thought anything he could do would work. Maybe that unseen air pocket led to where someone could see, but he knew they wouldn't be able to save him. No. All those things were too late now. He could feel it. Soon he was going to asphyxiate and die if all his flattened internal organs didn't fail first. This was going to be his last moment. His last conscious thought.
He waited screaming at his muscles to move but they did not respond. He waited and heard more explosions and the rocks shook but hardly moved. He waited with sharp rocky points stabbing into his back and stomach, scratching his skin. He waited. Maybe this was worse than he thought. He died already, but was trapped in his body. No. He swore he could still move his hand and the base of his ear, or maybe it was a fleeting hallucination. It was probably impossible but he kept trying to pull himself out or move his flattened twisted left arm. Every electric signal came out null. It was like all he was now was a few muscles in his hand and ear, yet they flailed helpless and terrified. Nausea from the pain made him dizzy. Maybe this was finally it. His hand went limp.
Sometime later he woke from his screaming senses to the horrifying realization that he was still here. He clawed at the stone around his hand as his only way to express the worsening terror. Only by some sadistic supernatural force was he still here to feel this agony. An explosion rang out right above him. He felt the rocks shift, but the pressure remained the same. A second explosion. He felt air hit his back. After a moment he thought he heard people, but with his ears crushed he couldn't pick up anything specific.
There were sharp things knocking off rocks around his back. It couldn't be possible could it? Hands reached down under his stomach and pulled. It hurt but compared to the pressure and stabbing around him it was only a brief acceleration before joining the chorus of unrelenting pain.
He felt someone's hands pull again, parts of his body started to exit the crack. Another tug and he popped out into open air, all but his right hand. He gasped for breath. Two verminators were pulling him, trying to free his hand. It felt like they were going to tear it off when another verminator with a pickaxe struck the rock pinching Jerry's hand, setting him free. He nearly fainted again in the verminator's arms.
They heard roars.
Turning to look nearby, Arm clawed up from a newly created crevice like a dog escaping a frozen lake. His clothes torn off him, long ears and pink stomach exposed. Verminators rushed to him. Arm got out heaving for breath, but was immediately tackled. He threw a verminator off him with his cybernetic arm, but several more zapped him with electric staffs. Weakened, Arm kept trying to fight, but was losing steam. Several verminators tackled him again, holding him down on the ground long enough for others to catch Arm's neck in several catch poles. One held him in place while another tried to put chains on him. The entire time Arm screamed and barked and bit, his spit flying everywhere, but the verminators kept holding. One verminator finally put his head and wrists in chained restraints and picked him up. Another started to escort the verminator holding him to a van. Over and over Arm screamed and flailed but nothing worked. It seemed the entire verminator staff watched as he was thrown into a cage in the back of their heavy duty van. The doors were shut and his cries muffled, even as they seemed to grow in intensity. It sounded like every single criminal Jerry had ever translated for.
"That settles that," Hellen said. One of the shades in her glasses was knocked out, her face and nose a little brushed, "Don't give him ANY CHANCE till we get back to HQ! If this fool gets out again some of you are going to be sleeping outside!"
The verminator holding Jerry put him down. Jerry's nerves still sensitive, he almost fell standing on his legs again. He inhaled deeply with every breath, savoring the air, so relieved to move, to see. His muscles ached from the twisted way he was pressed. How was it that he was only scratched up? That his bones were intact as far as he could tell, and his arm hadn't ripped off when they pulled his hand out? His clothes were far more torn than he was. He had survived a flattening on par with a pancake and bounced back even better than a cartoon.
Jerry looked at the truck pulling out of rough terrain. Arm had survived too. The verminators were following, walking out of the area. Jerry followed passively.
Looking back from where he was he could better see the blown apart earth the verminators had destroyed looking for Arm. Surprised, he also spotted his mother. She was handcuffed next to a verminator holding her in place. Jerry ran went straight to his mom. She crouched down to see him eye to eye, unable to hug him back but let him embrace her anyway.
"Jerry! Are you ok!? I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry!" She cried. Her left eye was brushed, both teary.
"It's ok! I'm ok! I thought I was dead! But I'm fine, I don't understand! But I'm ok!" Jerry said.
"No, no, you shouldn't have to fear for your life! They buried you Jerry, I thought.. I thought they wouldn't find you!" His mom said. She only seemed to get further choked up. How could she not? He was covered in dust, black and blue brushes and all sorts of red bleeding scratches. At least they were literally skin deep.
"We'll talk later Speaker.. Release her! We're done here," Hellen said.
A verminator unlocked his mom's handcuffs. She didn't move besides fully embracing Jerry in her arms with a grip so strong it almost hurt. The verminators walked away, following the van with Arm inside. They were almost all gone by the time his mother let him go.
"...Where's Dad?" Jerry asked. He looked for him.
"He's in the hospital," His mom said.
"Oh no! He was shot wasn't he?! No! Oh no!" Jerry felt panic start to return.
"Calm down! He's going to be fine. He was actually more worried about you," His mom said.
Jerry paused, thinking.
"So those weren't rubber.. were they?" Jerry asked. He deeply inhaled.
"What wasn't?"
"The bullets Arm shot. I thought they were rubber.. He shot me but It didn't pierce.. but when he shot Dad it.. And the cave in. The ceiling crushed me! I couldn't move! I couldn't breathe! I was under there for so long, I should've died! I don't understand. It doesn't make any sense.." Jerry said, he tried not to look too upset, but the confusion was getting to him. He shivered and rubbed his head.
"You are far more durable than you know Jerry. That's why Hellen didn't care when she bombed you. But she still hurt you. And I hurt you because I didn't stop her. I'm sorry," His mom said.
"You only did the best you can mom," Jerry said.
"How can you be sure?" His mom said.
"Because you love me!" Jerry said.
"..I do," She smiled at that, but her smile didn't last. Jerry wished it did.
"..Hellen knew I could survive a.. bomb?" Jerry asked.
"That's right.." His mom said.
"But how? I've never been hit by a bomb or crushed by a cave.." Jerry said.
"Other people with your disorder have," She said.
"That's right.. Arm survived too.. Mom, Arm looked just like me... Did you see him? We could've been twins," Jerry said, unnerved.
"I saw.." She said.
Jerry winced.
"He.. he shot me and yelled at me and hit me with the back of his gun because he wanted me to speak," Jerry said, pausing to rub his chest where he'd been shot, "He could speak. He really could. Did you hear what he said when they put him away?"
"I don't think I understood," His mom said.
"He just kept screaming 'no' over and over again.." Jerry shrugged, "He said some weird stuff to me while he was in the cave."
"Like what?" His mom asked.
"It was probably just crazy talk, but he was saying that I was betraying rabbids by translating, and that no 'human' would ever love me like rabbids do and he called me a self hating slave and a dog," Jerry said.
"A lot of accusations at someone you don't know," His mom said.
"Definitely, although he did say he was spying on me before we met, so he knew at least a little bit about me," He inhaled deeply, "He doesn't understand sign language though.. It's so weird how people who identify as a rabbid hate the label 'human', as if they could evolve past it somehow. They're so weird," Jerry said.
"They sure are.." His mom said.
"Hey mom, do you want to go home now? It's-" He inhaled deeply, "-It's too cold," Jerry shivered.
"Yes, we can go now. Is there anything you want to do when we get home?"
"I just want to relax.. Arm's gone, so things are going to get better," Jerry said.
"Then I'll let you relax.." His mom signed. They headed home.
Before she could fulfill his request for rest, they were faced with the reminder of what had just transgressed at the house. On the front steps were drops of blood from Jerry's father, even as he wasn't there. The kitchen was perforated with buckshot like the house itself was injured.
When Jerry stood where he had last seen his dad, remembering it was more like a nightmare than something he expected from reality. It was as if he could go to his parents room and find him there looking out the window or preparing to go on a walk or reading one of his favorite books for the hundredth time, but he wasn't here. He had been shot, and maybe if Jerry had controlled his temper better his dad wouldn't be in the hospital. He could hardly imagine how he'd feel if the shot had killed his dad. The idea of a simple mistake ending the life of one of the only people that really understood him was starting to put into perspective how dire what had just taken place was. His mom had said that his dad was going to recover, but with the injury so fresh, who knew what complications could occur? There was still a chance in his mind that his dad could die.
"When are we going to visit Dad?" Jerry asked, sitting on the couch while his mom added another log to their fire.
"Soon dear, but the doctors need space to work, and you need your rest," She said. She started to wrap a heated blanket around him. He let her, but it wasn't working as well as it usually did.
"But what if something happens and I'll never see him again?" Jerry inhaled.
"We'll visit him soon Jerry, he's going to be alright. They're doing all they can," She said.
".. If you say so," Jerry said.
"Try to relax. I can get you anything you need me to get, ok?" His mom said.
"That's alright.. I don't think I need anything right now," Jerry said.
"Well.. just in case anything comes to mind, I'm here," She said. She went into the kitchen and came back with a wet towel. She sat on the other side of the couch and dabbed her face with it. Her left eye was bruised.
"..Somebody hit you," Jerry said slowly.
"Yes.." She said.
Jerry hesitated.
"...Why?" He asked.
"Get some rest Jerry," his mom said.
Jerry sighed.
Over time he did begin to get sleepy, but it was hard to relax. When he closed his eyes it was almost like Arm was still there, waiting for him to let his guard down so he could kidnap him all over again. He could almost hear him take a step closer, or feel the fugitive's mechanical hand hovering over him about to snatch him.
Jerry would snap awake and look around, but nobody would be there.
Even if he did start to fall asleep, he had nightmares where he was paralyzed underground again, trying to cry out for help but with no answer. He would try to move so desperately he'd break free and wake up at home, but there was no promise he'd stay at home once he closed his eyes. The discomfort got to a point where he started to gently whine to express the pain, releasing the pressure. He didn't intend for it to be audible, but his mom noticed it. He stopped, but she got up and sat next to him anyway. Without saying anything she used a hand to massage his head. The muscles around his ears and his jaw relaxing. With her right next to him he supposed she could keep watch, and would know if Arm was there, and the motion of her hands and breath were far from the lonesome crush under stones. When he fell asleep that time, he didn't have any dreams. He fell asleep for a good long time, even hours after his mom had gotten up. Strange things were going on in his life but for a few hours they melted into meaningless absurdities that couldn't touch him.
When he woke up the same problems stirred with him, but at least they weren't as fresh.
"You still want to visit Dad?" His mom asked once she realized he was awake.
"Of course," Jerry said before stretching.
"Then get your jacket. We can go visit now, unless you still want to rest," His mom said. She was getting on her own jacket by the front door.
"No no, I want to see him," Jerry said. He got up and joined his mom in getting ready.
The hospital was a town over, one of the only buildings with its own power, but also with staff who weren't used to seeing Jerry. When signing in they were hesitant in letting Jerry through, as if they didn't know if it was allowed, but they let him anyway. He still got dumbfounded stares from people while walking through the corridor. This always happened, but today it felt especially inappropriate. Jerry's father had been shot by a fugitive. He didn't have the energy or the time to put aside the concern he had for his dad in order to quiet their fears and entertain their curiosities. He just avoided their gazes as his mom opened the door for him.
Jerry's dad lit up at the sight of them. He quickly turned off the TV.
"Oh how wonderful! " He said, using his left hand to sign, as the other was in a sling. He exchanged a kiss from his wife.
Jerry pulled a chair over to get closer. His dad's right arm was heavily encased in a plaster cast.
"You got shot in the arm," Jerry said.
"I know! Ironic right? It really hurt! I don't think they have prosthetics like his in our budget though, not that I think I'll have to get it amputated," His dad said.
"I'm so glad you're ok," Jerry said.
"And making jokes already.." His mom grumbled.
"What? Is it too soon?" His dad grinned, "I'm not worried about me anyway. Jerry are you alright? Should probably ask that one first. Mom texted me about what happened. I can't even imagine... I wish I could've done something."
"No, no, I think if you had you might not have survived. Especially since I'm bulletproof now," Jerry said.
"..Yes.. now," His dad said, looking at his wife for a cue.
"We've gone over the fact that it is known people with rabbid condition are far more resilient than the average person," She said.
"Right.. Well, we were hoping you wouldn't ever have a reason to know that," Jerry's dad said.
"That makes sense.." Jerry said. His younger self would have probably jumped off a water tower and scared everyone half to death if he'd known about this ability. Today, not so much, "Do you know when you're coming home?"
"Tomorrow afternoon or the next day. They said they wanted to make sure I relax so my wounds don't reopen. I'm also in a lot of pain," He sighed.
"It's weird without you in the house," Jerry said.
"I'll be back soon enough. And then you can help take care of me. Look at your old man, so sad and helpless. How could you resist these puppy eyes," His dad said, exaggerating the look.
"Jean, could we talk for a moment.." Jerry's mom said.
"Oh.. Ok," Jerry's dad said.
"Jerry, we need to talk in private, ok?" His mom said.
"Ok," Jerry said. It was so sudden he didn't question it.
He went outside the room and closed the door.
There were far too many things he could imagine them talking about, but he supposed some things were better discussed without him and he just had to accept it. They loved him after all, so whatever they were talking about he trusted would be in his best interest.
It wasn't like Arm had been trying to paint 'humans' as being. They weren't going to abandon him for a better son nor would they turn him into whatever Arm was trying to refer to with his prosthetic. Maybe Arm only meant the verminators, but Jerry already knew the verminators and himself were a business-like relationship. He would actually like to be replaced as translator.
Maybe in a few years Arm would choose to take Jerry's place as a translator during his sentence. Jerry doubted it, considering how upset Arm was that Jerry translated. It was just wishful thinking. At least there were people out there able to do his job besides him after all. There were definitely more people with rabbid condition out there even besides Arm. It would only take the verminators time to reach them in order to find a new candidate, maybe they'd find one that was interested in the job besides feeling obligated.
While Jerry was trying to think, four hospital staff had gathered in the hall looking at him, whispering to each other. He wasn't sure if they were too scared to walk past him or were gathered with the purpose to stare. He tried to ignore it.
Once his parents were done talking, they let him back in.
"We're going to let Dad get some rest now, ok? Do you have anything else to say before we go?" His mom asked him.
"Get better soon.. I miss you," Jerry said.
"I'll be back before you know it," His dad said, "I would give you a kiss but I shouldn't move too much." He gave him a blow kiss instead. Jerry did the same back.
"Bye Dad," Jerry waved.
"Bye Jerry, Love you. Love you Kelly," His dad said. They waved as they left.
Once outside of the room Jerry tried to get out of the hospital faster without looking too dire. He walked much faster than his mom, looking down to avoid any strangers' stares. He had to wait for his mom to open the door to the outside though.
"People being rude?" She asked.
"I can't ever catch a break can I?" He pouted.
"You probably can't," She sighed.
They drove home.
As night fell back at their house, the lights and heat suddenly turned back on. Before celebrating Jerry and his mom waited, but it stayed on like they hoped. They looked at each other with grateful grins. Finally they could start to put away their wood pellets and heated blankets. The rest of the house was open again. They went out for snacks and put on their Blu-ray of Parks and Recreation to celebrate.
Before Jerry went to bed, his mom told him that school was back on due to the power coming back. It wasn't his favorite surprise, but with a short week ahead he didn't mind. Besides, he was dying of boredom staying at home all the time. He may have some things to say to Devon too. He couldn't ask his friends if they knew what Arm looked like, maybe because they were told not to say anything or else get in trouble. Devon didn't seem to care as much about that consequence, again, if it was even something that was actually happening.
He had trouble getting to sleep in his bed again, the same terrors of the day returning to him, but after a while of trying he eventually settled early in the morning.
He fell asleep on the bus to school and had trouble getting off once he got there. Luckily it seemed he wasn't the only zombie that morning. Some students were even missing from school, probably at home celebrating the return of power by charging their phones and watching internet videos on their TV or whatever else modern families did.
Felix and Anthony were in their usual places, although Felix was thoroughly asleep and drooling on the table. Jerry snickered and pointed, making Anthony aware. He also thought it was funny.
"We'll wake him when homeroom starts," Anthony said.
"Got it!" Jerry said.
He saw Devon across the room again. Anthony caught him looking.
"Don't believe everything she says," Anthony tried to face away from her, "It's making you paranoid."
"I'm not stupid Anthony, I can figure out if she's telling the truth," Jerry said. Anthony was being weird again. Jerry got up to go see her, but Anthony stopped him with a hand. Jerry turned to face him.
Anthony winced, hesitating.
"Jerry I'm sorry.. You know..I thought that something bad would happen to you if somebody said the wrong thing to you, but I guess it was only a matter of time until something outside my control would give too much away anyway. Who am I kidding? I've known you for so long and I never considered how this is going to end.
I'm gonna say something really stupid, but I.. I did know about Arm. I wasn't allowed to tell you, and I didn't think you should know because of how you'd feel if you knew the truth," He said.
"The truth that Arm has my disorder?" Jerry asked.
"Sure, we can go for that," Anthony nodded.
"We can go with it or is that the truth?" Jerry said, confused.
"I can't tell you the whole truth Jerry, I would be put in jail. Just trust me, everything will make sense eventually. Like I said, it's stupid to think that people could hide the truth from you forever, or that a setup like this would never screw you over like it did yesterday. Did anyone ever tell you how they found Arm and you so quickly?"
"No.."
"And I can't say, but this whole thing is going under so I think you'll know soon," Anthony said, frustrated.
"They're getting rid of the verminator state aren't they..?" Jerry asked.
"I'm sorry Jerry I can't tell you," Anthony said. His eyes were getting wet. He stood up and walked out to the bathroom, rubbing his face. Devon walked up to Jerry with a note already on her whiteboard.
"You ok? He looked upset," She said.
"I think he's trying to tell me.." Jerry started, "How did the verminators know where Arm and I were soon after he kidnapped me?"
"What?" She wrote.
Jerry said it again.
"Everybody always knows where you are Jerry," Devon said, she wrote more, "Ok, not everyone, but the important people do."
"Always or? What? Why!?" Jerry asked.
"I partially don't know, and maybe partially I do but most of it I can't say," She said.
"You said that everybody knows what Arm looked like.. Are there other things you can't tell me?" Jerry asked.
A teacher walked up to Devon and asked her to follow him. She did without objection. Jerry gasped and watched. Defeated, he sat back down next to Felix, who was still drooling on the table. Jerry sighed and poked his friend. Felix sat up, groggy but got embarrassed by the spit on his lip. He wiped it with his sleeve.
"Hey.. Hey! Jerry. Sorry, I did not know we had school until it was already morning and I stayed up all night. Are you ok? I heard what happened with you and the murderer," Felix said. His eyes still looked like they were trying to focus.
"I was shot point blank in the chest," Jerry said.
Felix impulsively poked Jerry's chest with a finger.
"Sorry that was way unnecessary. I don't know why I did that," Felix said, "That must've been really scary. How are you alive?"
"Apparently people with my disorder are extremely durable, but I'm starting to suspect I was used because of it," Jerry said.
"You? A tool for other people? No way.. I'm going back to sleep ok?" Felix put his head down. The bell rang. Lights flashed.
Jerry poked him.
"I know..! I know!" Felix picked his head back up.
Together they joined the smaller than usual crowd to go to their separate homerooms.
Jerry had most certainly been set up in the Arm arrest. With Anthony admitting what Devon had said was true, it was becoming more tormenting knowing there was a sort of conspiracy against him after all. Did the verminators use him to find Arm knowing Arm would kidnap him? Knowing that Arm couldn't really hurt Jerry? The more he thought about it the more sense it made and the more scared he became. The verminators kicked his family out of their warm secure suites to be more vulnerable. How could they?
He had been shot, buried alive, his father had nearly died. Who was to say how much he could take? His parent's surely couldn't take the same pressures yet they were always in danger by sticking by him. Did they know? Did the verminators tell them that's what they had to do or did they only give them instructions without explaining why? Did his parents know? Surely if Anthony knew about Arm's disorder, so did his parents.
They lied to him about that straight to his face. Did his parents know he was going to get kidnapped? How could they? How could they let their own son be taken by a murderous fugitive? Several times he was so afraid, so certain that he was doomed, dead, and yet they let him face traumas he could still feel buzzing under his skin now. Could they? Would they tell him if he asked? They avoided the truth about Arm's identity so cleanly, so easily. How would he confront them about finding Arm? It meant they must've had something on him all along that tracked him. He didn't remember any tracking device being put on him. Maybe in his sleep?
During his classes with his friends, he tried to keep it together enough to talk to them, but they didn't engage back.
"I can't talk to you right now Jerry.." Felix said, although he talked to other people, "I'm so sorry.."
"Not right now.. I'm sorry," Anthony said. He could hardly look at him.
"It's time..." Was all Devon wrote, trying not to look at him.
Nobody cared when he stopped doing his work. The teachers hardly checked him when they normally chatted with him or asked if he needed something written down.
He felt like he was going crazy, like he didn't ever know anything about anyone. Like they were all a hive mind playing different parts and at the flip of a switch they'd altogether become different people.
He ran out of his science class to go to the hall, but it didn't help. While walking past a floor level window he caught a glimpse of his reflection, and, thinking for half a second it was Arm, leapt and screamed.
"BWAH!" He fell over, but quickly realized it was just himself. He held his chest and panted before getting up. He wanted to go home. When he got to his favorite hall he collapsed, trying to find some comfort to settle him. He even thought of leaving school entirely, but where would he go? It was so cold out there, and school was a very long walk from home. It would be better if he just stayed until the buses came. As awkward as it was, he stayed the rest of the day in the hall and watched students pass him class to class.
6/21/2024
Title "Has The Light Gone Out For You?" from 'Bodysnatchers' by Radiohead.