The End is the beginning
Chapter 6 - Reminiscent
June 25, 1968,
Dear Diary,
Today, I turned 15 years old, and you are my birthday present! I imagine Mother hopes this will steer me away from the test tubes in my lab and encourage me to engage in activities she deems more "age-appropriate." Fortunately, I know Father supports me and appreciates my passion for science. He has always been there to encourage me to explore the fascinating world of discovery and experimentation.
On this special day, despite Mother's perhaps slightly misplaced expectations, I was pleasantly surprised by how my family celebrated my birthday. They organized a surprise party with my closest friends, and although the atmosphere was lively and joyful, I could see in their eyes a sincere wish for my dreams to come true, even if it means spending hours immersed in the mysteries of science!
The gifts varied, but it was Father's gift that particularly caught my attention. He gave me a state-of-the-art microscope, an instrument that will undoubtedly enrich my future experiments. Even though Mother gave a polite smile, I know deep down she worries about my future and hopes I find a balance between my scientific passions and more conventional activities for my age.
However, I remain determined to follow my dreams and pursue my scientific discoveries. Perhaps this new microscope will be the tool that allows me to make significant advances in my research projects.
In sum, despite the differing opinions within my family, I feel fulfilled and grateful for this memorable birthday. I am ready to face another year full of discoveries and experiments!
See you soon, dear diary, for the continuation of my adventures at the crossroads of science and everyday life…
L.C.
Vincent read through the first pages of the diary with a wave of tenderness and nostalgia. He discovered the young woman as he had imagined her in her teenage years. Her love for science had guided her from a very young age. Coming from a rather well-off family, she had the opportunity to pursue studies in this field.
Even in writing a diary, Lucrecia Crescent demonstrated great rigor. She regularly recorded her thoughts on these pages.
Later, while she was still a young scientist, she had been recruited under the direction of Vincent's own father, Professor Grimoire Valentine, to assist him in his research on Chaos and Omega…
October 21, 1973,
Dear Diary,
My research over the past two years has finally borne fruit. I have just been accepted as an employee in the scientific department of the famous company, Shinra Corporation. This opportunity not only promises to improve my material conditions, but it also paves the way for significant progress in my research. It is a crucial step in my scientific career, and I am eager to contribute to the advancements within this renowned organization.
But that's not all. I also received equally exciting and surprising news: I have been chosen to be the laboratory assistant of the very talented Professor Valentine. It is an incredible honor and chance. I have always had deep admiration for his skills and dedication to scientific research. The results of his recent work on Omega have been a true source of inspiration for me, and working alongside him represents a unique opportunity for learning and professional growth.
I feel both the excitement of this new chapter that is opening before me and the responsibility that accompanies this position. The challenges that lie ahead will be numerous, but I am ready to face them with determination! I intend to make the most of this experience to deepen my knowledge, develop new skills, and contribute significantly to the scientific advancements of this company.
See you soon, dear diary, for the continuation of this exciting professional adventure.
L.C.
Some time later, Lucrecia accompanied the team to the Northern Continent after the discovery of the creature. Under the guidance of Professor Gast and Professor Valentine, she recounted her journey and the mishaps during those long months spent in this icy land: the vast expanses of snow as far as the eye could see, the fierce storms that periodically assailed them, and the constant challenges faced by the team. She shared with them the fascinating discoveries that sparked their scientific curiosity, but also the difficult moments when the unforgiving nature of the Northern Continent tested their determination…
February 3, 1975,
Dear Diary,
Finally, after such a long journey, here I am at Icicle Lodge! It is particularly freezing here, and the snow doesn't seem ready to stop falling. It's as if the entire landscape is covered in a sparkling blanket of frozen crystals. Unfortunately, this extreme cold has caused an untimely malfunction: the heating in the research lab where we work has decided to give out.
We had to defrost all the test tubes, a task that proved to be much more complex and laborious than expected. My colleagues and I had to redouble our efforts to maintain an adequate temperature to preserve our precious samples. Chemical reactions seem slowed in this biting cold, which further complicates our experiments.
Despite these difficulties, the atmosphere at Icicle Lodge is imbued with a unique charm. The inhabitants of this region seem to stoically withstand the harshness of winter, and I even had the opportunity to participate in some of their local traditions. Evenings spent around a fireplace, enjoying comforting dishes, have allowed me to discover the warmth of human connection that contrasts with the cold outside.
I remain optimistic about the days to come, hoping that the heating repairs will be done quickly. In the meantime, I strive to make the most of this polar experience, immersing myself in the daily life of this enchanting place, where every snowflake seems to hold a story to tell!
See you soon, dear diary, for the continuation of this icy adventure.
L.C.
In the last quarter of the notebook, the ex-TURK completely surrendered to his reading. Lucrecia detailed her research on Chaos, then mentioned the tragic incident in the laboratory that cost Vincent's father his life. Her remorse and guilt permeated every line…
September 8, 1976
Dear Diary,
I am in deep distress. By Gaia, what have I done? Everything is my fault! A devastating fire has ravaged the lab, the result of my carelessness with explosive reagents. It's atrocious. My mentor, whom I cherished so much, Grimoire, was taken by this tragedy.
There is no one else to blame but myself. The terrifying roar of the flames still echoes in my ears, and the images of this nightmare haunt my thoughts day and night. I am now consumed by guilt, unable to find sleep without being tormented by the memory of that fateful night.
I wonder how I will ever repair the damage I have caused. The flames destroyed everything, not only my work but also the life of the one I held in such high esteem. The lab is nothing more than a heap of ashes, a symbol of my crushing failures. What remains of me now, other than a broken scientist, consumed by remorse and grief?
I fear that my days will now be plunged into endless darkness. May this sincere confession serve as a testament to my own descent into hell.
Forever tormented,
L.C.
Vincent remembered that incident with disconcerting clarity, the heartbreaking loss of his father. At that time, he was still a young TURK, forced to hide his own grief behind a stoic mask. At the time of his father's death, he was completely unaware of the young woman's involvement in the tragedy. It was only years later, by pure chance, that he learned of it. Despite this late revelation, he never held it against Lucrecia. He understood that it was an accident, a twist of fate that neither of them could have controlled.
She then recounted the beginning of the Jenova project, the circumstances of their meeting, the unease she felt upon discovering his connection to Grimoire Valentine, their growing friendship despite everything…
July 8, 1976
Dear Diary,
My team and I have just arrived in Nibelheim to begin our research on the Cetra. But, by Gaia, what a terrible coincidence! The TURK assigned to escort us and ensure the security of the project is none other than Grimoire's son! He lost his father because of my mistakes. How can I ever hope for his forgiveness? His eyes… his ruby eyes are exactly the same as his father's.
My research has left a trail of destruction, and every page of this diary seems to be drenched in my regrets.
Despite everything, I must move forward. Vincent's presence by my side is a constant and painful reminder of my past mistakes. Every look he gives me feels like a silent judgment, a mute reprimand. Yet, he is here, involved in the project.
I have also met a new colleague. He doesn't inspire much confidence in me, but for the sake of the project, I am ready to show all the kindness necessary. I had already heard a lot about him. His rapid rise within our department has sparked numerous rumors. He seems to possess a certain skill in navigating the political complexities of the company, though the true nature of his character remains shrouded in mystery. I remain cautious, ready to observe his actions carefully while maintaining a professional collaboration for the project's benefit.
My hands still tremble as I handle my research notes, but the excitement of discovery and the thirst for redemption push me to continue. The road ahead is fraught with obstacles, but I cling to the hope that my present actions can, in some way, mend the wrongs of the past.
The Cetra and their mysteries await us, and I am determined to understand, to learn, and perhaps to find a way to repair what has been broken.
At the dawn of a new quest,
L.C.
As Vincent progressed through the reading, memories flooded back. The journal revealed the same moments, the same fragments of life, but this time, from his beloved's perspective…
September 24, 1976
Dear Diary,
I found Vincent in the manor's park today. He had fallen asleep under the grand oak. Despite the guilt I feel towards him, I can't help but find him so endearing and feel an irresistible attraction to him... His peaceful face in sleep seemed to temporarily erase the shadows that darken our respective pasts. A strange sense of comfort and mutual understanding took hold of me as I watched him, momentarily replacing the torment of my past mistakes. However, there remains a palpable tension between us, a barrier I fear to cross, but one that seems to slowly erode over time…
Yours,
L.C.
She finally opened up about the reasons that drove her to push away the TURK and accept Hojo's marriage proposal. With a heavy heart, he discovered that she had always loved him, not Hojo, but him, Vincent...
December 28, 1976
Dear Diary,
I am torn between joy and infinite despair. Today, Vincent declared his love for me. If only he knew my feelings for him. But I couldn't tell him the truth. I promised my hand to Professor Hojo. In exchange, he promised never to do anything to jeopardize Vincent's career at Shinra...
The torment of my decision weighs heavily on my heart. The promise made to Hojo, motivated by complex circumstances and professional stakes, now feels like an unbearable burden. Vincent, sincere in his emotions, is unaware of the invisible chains that bind our fate. My engagement to Hojo is also the acceptance of a life I never wanted, a life determined by arrangements rather than true love.
Vincent's confessions echo in my mind like a sweet, painful melody. Every word he uttered awakens repressed truths within me. Yet, I remain captive to the promises made, to the loyalty owed to a man whose shadow looms over my life. My heart is trapped between duty and desire, and the future appears uncertain, tinged with inevitable regrets.
A dark fate lies ahead,
L.C.
Vincent clenched his fist, overwhelmed by a wave of rage. Why? This question had haunted him countless times back then. Why hadn't she chosen to share her life with him? Why had she preferred Hojo? It made no sense. At first, he had naively thought she was happy and resigned himself. However, the reality was quite different...
Then came that fateful night. In the secrecy of her room, while her husband was away, their mutual desire overwhelmed them, and they made love. The only night they would share and never again…
May 13, 1977
Dear Diary,
The night I just spent will haunt my body and heart until the end of my days. My cheeks still blush at the thought. Vincent, dear Vincent… His lips traced fiery paths on mine, each kiss leaving an indelible mark on my skin and thoughts. The emotions shared in the darkness of my room, the passion emanating from our embraces, all form a complex tapestry of desire and exchanged promises.
The starlight was our silent accomplice, bearing witness to every moment of tenderness. Vincent, with his enchanting presence, erased the boundaries of the loneliness that had enveloped me for too long. However, a shadow looms, fueled by the responsibilities and choices that stand before me as insurmountable obstacles.
My heart still echoes the beats of that night as I find myself trapped between the passionate glow of our union and the promises made to my husband. My mind is a turbulent sea of doubts and uncertainties, but deep within me, a fire has ignited, a burning flame that refuses to extinguish.
Vincent remains anchored in my thoughts, and every exchanged glance, every fleeting touch, revives the memory of that unforgettable night. Dear Diary, I fear my life will now be a delicate balance between passion and promises, between love and compromise…
L.C.
Through her writing, the ex-TURK learned that Hojo and she had not had intimate relations for months when she became pregnant. Thus, Hojo knew from the start that the child she carried was not his. Thinking it would only complicate things if he knew, she had left Vincent in the dark…
June 15, 1977
Dear Diary,
I have great news to share. I am pregnant. Despite the immense joy I feel, this shadow still hangs over my destiny. Indeed, it has been months since my husband and I shared a bed. Initially, I accepted this constraint out of obligation, but I soon put an end to our "nightly exchanges."
The silent nights affirm my choice of independence, my decision to break the chains that bound my life. The manor's sheets bear the weight of my act of liberation, but the new life growing within me brings a new light to this darkness. Life grows in the secrecy of my being, a life that will be inseparable from the shadow of my past choices.
Vincent, the clandestine love who awakened my heart, still does not know the news. How can I tell him when the ties that bind me to Hojo remain, despite my attempt to break them? The road ahead promises to be fraught with obstacles, but within me, the flame of hope burns more intensely than ever. Dear Diary, let my writings bear witness to this new stage in my life, where motherhood intertwines with the difficult choices that will define my future…
L.C.
At that moment, the journal slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. Vincent collapsed onto Adonis's bed, cradling his head in his hands, overwhelmed by the weight of the revelations. His throat tightened, and his breath came short. Oh, of course, the thought had crossed his mind! Lucrecia's pregnancy had oddly coincided with that glorious night, just weeks before. But... but... he had never wanted to believe it. He had never dared to ask her. Even if he had, would she have confessed? And what would have happened then?
Racked with remorse and guilt, Lucrecia had accepted the unacceptable: she had consented to making their child, their own child, the subject of her husband's experiments.
He swallowed his sobs with difficulty, forced himself to pick up the manuscript, and finish the final pages...
July 6, 1977
Dear Diary,
Oh Vincent, will you ever forgive me? I cannot bring myself to tell you the truth. The consequences would be devastating... I have made nothing but mistakes... Forgive me, my love.
"Am I sure?" you asked me yesterday. How I wished to confess everything to you. Why did you never ask me anything!
The unspoken words imprison my heart, a prison I fear to break for fear of the ensuing chaos. My silences, fueled by fear of the consequences, turn into an unbearable weight. Each day that passes without revealing the truth deepens the chasm between us. My love, the truth I hide for fear of losing you now seems to be the burden that erodes our bond. I wished I could have spoken to you, poured out the truth of my soul, but courage eludes me, and I lock myself in remorse.
However, the echo of your words still resounds in my mind, and I regret every moment when I didn't seize the opportunity to confide my deepest secrets to you. The "whys" and "if onlys" swirl in my consciousness, forming a painful melody that accompanies my nightly thoughts. My love, I dread the day the truth will burst forth, but even more, I fear losing you forever because of my own hesitations…
L.C
After this and until the bitter conclusion of these lines, a few weeks before Vincent found himself with a bullet near his heart, his beloved was haunted by a poignant guilt and devouring remorse. She bitterly regretted each of her actions. The lie imposed on Vincent regarding her feelings, the betrayal of her husband, and even the consent to use their own child as a test subject weighed heavily on her wounded soul. The last page, written shortly after the birth of their child, was a kind of poignant testament. Reading this final testimony brought tears that he had managed to keep buried deep within him until now...
March 3, 1978
Dear Diary,
It's all over. I no longer have the strength to continue. The darkness has engulfed my life, taking with it the last breath of hope I had. Today, I stand at the edge of the abyss, staring into the void without the slightest glimmer of optimism. He has taken my child. My son, my precious Sephiroth, was torn from me, leaving an insurmountable void behind.
How can I find peace when my arms remain empty, deprived of the embrace I never could give him? The shadows of sadness now obscure each of my steps, and the echo of his childlike laughter painfully resonates in the void of my solitude.
The weight of agony has overwhelmed me to the point where even the thought of the afterlife no longer offers comfort. The incessant injections, true chains of my own prison, prevent me from finding the desired liberation. Each wound, each injury, is condemned to inexorable healing, prolonging my distress.
I desperately wonder if there is forgiveness in my son's heart, where I can no longer reach. Regret and guilt intertwine in the darkness of my thoughts, and I wonder if absolution will ever be granted to me.
Oh, Gaia, what have I done to deserve such a fate? The answers are lost in the silence of my own torment, and each breath becomes a lament, a silent plea to a cruel destiny. The pain persists, indomitable, and I remain trapped in my own existence, vainly seeking an escape from this eternal night.
Thus closes this chapter of my life, in the shadow of pain and desolation.
L.C
These revelations plunged Vincent into a whirlwind of emotions. An hour had passed, and he had completely forgotten to search for the child. His own guilt seemed equivalent to that of his beloved. They had only made mistakes, and it had cost their son's life.
Their son…
Not Hojo's…but his…
Vincent remained for a moment, frozen in that posture, his head buried in his hands, absorbed by the poignant revelations unveiled in the journal. The echo of memories and emotions swirled in his mind, creating an inner turmoil that kept him prisoner to his own thoughts.
Suddenly, the creak of the large entrance door pulled him from his lethargy. Selene had returned. Vincent stood up, picked up the journal from the floor, pressing it against his chest as if seeking comfort in its pages. Then, with a newly forged resolve, he set out to find the child.
As he had suspected, he found the boy hidden at the bottom of the wardrobe in his grandmother's room. Having waited for Vincent to find him, the child had fallen asleep. Holding his Chocobo plush tightly in his arms, he slept peacefully.
The ex-TURK gently lifted the sleeping child and cradled him tenderly. The moment, filled with unexpected sweetness, contrasted with the emotional turmoil within him.
This child, he, was alive. The son of his own son. Gaia had put him on his path, surely not without reason…
At the same time, thousands of miles away, an old man came face to face with the unconscious body of a former SOLDIER…
End of the Chapter