Warning: Stalking mention

"I don't think I did the right thing."

Mauve sat back, realizing this was a common occurrence for the new therapist. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't think I said the right thing when I gave back his gift. I told him that it was a kind gift but that he shouldn't feel the need to give me gifts—to buy my affection."

"Well, how did you feel?"

"I felt very confident, actually. It's just… his reaction. I don't know… He's hard to read sometimes." Helena remembered the incident at the gym. Sephiroth met her, watched her as she performed a deadlift. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was judging her form or the amount of weight she had. She felt studied.

What Helena didn't know was that Sephiroth was imagining taking her to the changing area, slamming her against the lockers, and tearing at her clothes – so fitting and showing her thigh muscles. He wanted to show her the meaning of exertion. He was studying her on her form; he wanted to know how much she could hold herself up as he entered her.

"I think you've got your work cut out. But, from his response to our meeting last week, reviewing his notes, he seemed very pleased with the progress he's been making."

Did he read your notes?! "I know we've been taking it steady," Helena admitted. "But I think he needs it that way."

"You sound a bit more confident, Helena. Do you realize that?" Mauve smiled, seeing Helena blossom in front of her.

"I may feel unsure at times, but I do feel more equipped to handle this case." The thoughts seemed to be distant voices that sounded more like static than actual words.

"He might have more to say today. We had a briefing yesterday that First Class operative Genesis has defected."

The air in Helena's lungs escaped in one fell swoop; like she was taking kicks to her sides. She imagined the great Sephiroth pacing his luxury condo, alone; with thoughts of abandon and rejection. Sephiroth needs me.

Helena watched in silence as the tall man collapsed into the short seat – as he had many times before, but this time, it seemed endearing. She felt a pang of guilt and shame, knowing the conversation would turn to Genesis. Helena was aware of the sexual encounters and his difficulty interacting with Genesis. The incident in the training room was only a symptom of something larger: a rage neither could contain, built up from years of SOLDIER conditioning.

"Sephiroth, just so that we are clear, this is your space. I know about the defection, but I don't want you to think we need to go over that."

Sephiroth's eyes glimmered in the light before it was blinked away – now hollow. "Genesis has left. There is little to be said."

Helena nodded. "What would you like to work on today?"

"This guilt lingers. It is of no use."

"Guilt is a natural emotion one feels, typically when there is a wrong to be made right. Do you feel like there is a wrong to be made right?"

Sephiroth chuckled, his fingers absentmindedly outlining the thinness of his lips. "I know Genesis was degrading when he left."

"Degrading?"

"You've heard the term, no?" Sephiroth asked. Helena had heard of the term. Kathelyn mentioned it once in passing when caring for a SOLDIER who had broken his arm, a bone sticking out through the skin. Helena felt so proud in front of her sister to be blessed with such coveted knowledge. Helena once wondered what it would look like if she degraded.

Helena snapped her attention back to the conversation, a sense of thrill squashed. "You think you caused it?"

Sephiroth laughed. "I don't want to make this about Genesis. I have already mulled over this with you."

"But that's why you feel guilt, right?" Helena pointed her finger in a fresh wound.

"It was his decision to leave."

"You're right."

"I just sometimes think I should have followed."

Helena thought twice about making a note of what Sephiroth just said. Helena wondered if he really meant it. The crave for a normal life; he mentioned this in a very brief passing before. Helena did not make note of it, thinking it unnecessary. She couldn't imagine the man, towering over a partner and his children, sitting on a chair in some faraway field, appreciating the sun on his crops. The thought alone made Helena laugh to herself. Did he want children? Did he want to be married?

"Do you think your nervous system is activated when you think of Genesis leaving and the need to leave as well?"

"I don't like to think of it," Sephiroth's fingers were then tracing circles on the armrests. Maintain eye contact.

"I can imagine it being overwhelming to feel."

"Don't," Sephiroth snapped, pleading angrily; or at least what Helena could deduce was anger. It seemed incredibly shallow. He was numbing himself – SOLDIER conditioning.

"You know it's been easier to fall into blades," Sephiroth insinuated his temptation of instigating emboldened youth to fight him. None could make him bleed but he mentioned in a session once that he would give them a chance to slice his skin. Or to let Hojo expose innards. What would they look like?

"It's easier to hurt physically than emotionally. I can understand that."

There was a silence that lulled but Helena could have sworn that Sephiroth said something akin to: "I'm sure you do." Helena blushed in response.

"But are you harming yourself?" Helena broke the silence, slicing open delicate crystalline skin.

"I may be. I doubt it will kill me."

"You're hurting. Genesis does mean so much to you…"

Sephiroth let her words linger. Her eyes seemed so soft and compassionate. "I know I obsess over him. I know it becomes so easy to be attached to simple kindness," He took a step forward; she allowed it. "I see how compassionate you are towards me." His hands cupped her face, drawing her attention to her narrowing pupils. "I need you, Helena. I think I've become obsessed."

His forehead gently adorned her forehead with cascading strands spun of silver, his height becoming so apparent. She accepted the touch – a form of compassion she knew needed to be shared. But what was intolerable was the kiss—forceful and intense. As intolerable as it was, her instinctual behaviour was to return it. It didn't take long before her therapist self pulled her away, pushing him in response.

"Whoa," she established, "you can't."

"Why can't I? I know you want this too."

Helena bit the inner side of her cheek. "Sephiroth, this can't happen. I'm your therapist."

As those words sobered the both of them, Sephiroth stood silent. Helena continued, "I'm sorry you feel like I led you on."

Those weren't the words of a therapist. She's lying. "Obviously I misread… Please do not apologize." Lies, all of it.

Helena's imagination ran wild with light touches and caresses in warm bedsheets – quickly turning into hair pulling and deep bites. She breathed in a sigh of frustration. Why was this man making her think this way, feel this way? His words… "Obsession." She felt weak at the knees.

"I think we should call this a session," Helena instructed, opening the door.

"I think it would be wise to not tell anyone," Sephiroth said with manufactured concern. He knew she would approach Dr. Rogue. And that thought alone nearly made him reach his limit, lust clouding him. He wanted to break her. And what better way than to take everything away? He wanted her to lay at his feet. Yes. That's what he wanted. She would never leave.

Helena locked the door. And began crying. And crying. And then laughing. She was wanted. Obsessed. Helena bit her lip, pulling at the dry skin, rubbing her teeth back and forth on the puffy flesh. Was this what it felt like?

Client ID: S-01-01

Therapist: Helena Menninger

Client Summary: Client reported that a colleague and friend has defected, which has impacted his daily functioning and his cognitive functioning (focus). Client had approached therapist inappropriately. Therapist has determined that it would be best for client to be referred out.

Risk Assessment: No imminent risk of physical harm or suicidal ideation. Client did report patterns of self-harm but was assessed to be NSSI.

Therapist Observations: Shallow, intermittently interactive, functional.

Next Session?: Therapist to seek clinical supervision and determine next steps for possible referral.

A/N: I just went through EC and Glenn's need to show little Sephiroth how to show compassion and feel compassion was on my mind. I imagine Sephiroth obsessing over things quite frequently, not just because of the JENOVA cells (see: Nibelheim), but also because daddy was hyperfixated on ruining the world. Sephiroth is following a bit in daddy's footsteps. This was a short chapter but, well, it is what it is.

Song of the day: Hysteria, Muse or Superman's Dead, Our Lady Peace