We are packed and ready to leave for the Victory Tour. The tour will start in District Eleven and end back here in Twelve. The tour leaves in about an hour, however I know they will film footage of Peeta and I outside our houses before we leave for the tour. Luckily, Cinna is here and able to make me look presentable to all Panem. Afterall, I have a job to do on this tour… I must convince everyone of my love for Peeta. Cinna and the rest of my prep team are finishing up with my hair and makeup when Effie walks into the room. She smiles at me and informs us that it's showtime. I walk to the door of my house, knowing that when I open it, I will be shoved back into the love story with Peeta and have cameras in my face, watching my every move. I know Gale will be watching and I know it will hurt him. But I must be in love with Peeta. I take a deep breath to calm myself, I have too much at stake during this tour.
I nod to Effie and she opens the door. There is immediately a camera in my face and I hear Ceaser announcing my name. I wave to the camera and I walk down the steps to my house. The door to the house across from mine opens and Peeta steps outside, also waving as he makes his was down the steps. I walk to meet in the middle, a little bit too fast. We meet and as he goes to wrap his arms around me, we slip on the ice. I gently laugh it off, and without hesitation, I press my lips against Peeta's, laying on top of him where we fell. I am in love, we are a couple in love and this is what a couple in love would do. I hear Ceaser clear his throat and I stand, apologizing. He wastes no time before asking about our relationship and how everything is going.
"Good. Uh things are good here in twelve," Peeta stumbles through his answer. He is going to get my family killed before we even leave for the tour.
"Thanks to the generosity of the Capitol, Peeta and I have never been closer," I wrap an arm around his back, "We are so lucky to have been given such a luxury."
"Yeah, we're only about five feet apart now," Peeta laughs as he says it. Haymitch was right, we need to warm up. Ceaser is finally satisfied and ends his broadcast. The cameras go down and everyone starts gathering our belongings to head to the train station.
"Nice acting," Peeta looks at me, "For a second, I almost thought that kiss was real."
He walks away from me without another glance in my direction. I am going to have to figure out a way to get the boy from the games back, the one that announced his love for me in front of all Panem and started this entire act. Peeta is right though, that kiss did almost feel real to me. I know I hurt Peeta when we came home, I wasn't trying to. However, he didn't try to talk to me after the games either. I spent more time with Gale because of this and of course I knew how Gale felt about me, I also knew that I would never act on these feelings. Even so, I don't want to hurt him anymore than I have to. Peeta is who I've been forced to be with, and that's just how it is now. He knows how I feel, even if it is only a fraction of what he feels in comparison. It would be a lie to say that even after everything we went through that I feel nothing toward him. I just hope he will give me the chance to make it up to him during the tour.
A few hours later we are on the train and heading to District Eleven. I sit in the car at the back of the train, watching the scenery go back outside as we speed down the track. I hear the door to the car open, not looking to see who entered. Peeta sits down beside me. A few minutes pass and neither of us have spoken yet. I look at him and he looks back at me. This is the most time we've spent in each other's presence since we returned home from the games. I expect him to leave when he changes position so sit toward me more.
"You don't have to apologize to me Katniss. It's not fair of me. I can't hold you to the things you said in the games. I know you were just doing what you had to in order to keep us both alive and get home to Prim. But I can't keep doing this. I can't act for the cameras and us ignore each other in real life Katniss."
"Peeta," I reach out for him, if nothing more than to comfort him.
"If you could stop looking at me like that, like I'm wounded, maybe I could quit acting like I am. Then, we might be able to actually become friends off camera."
"I'm not good with friends." I shrug as I look at him.
"Well, it might help if you know the person and besides the fact that you're stubborn and you're skilled with a bow, what do I know about you?"
"There's nothing else to know."
"There is. You just won't tell me. What's your favorite color?"
"Fine. Green. Yours?"
"See, now we're getting somewhere. It's orange, like the sunset."
I smile at the boy in front of me, he is trying to make things okay between us. He finally takes the hand that I extended, not realizing I left it sitting on the seat as he grasps it. It's a familiar feeling of his hand in mine. I know that I extended it to provide him comfort, but it provides comfort to me too. He knows what we went through in the games, and he knows what it's like. I'm safe with him. We are interrupted as we enter a tunnel, and the train car is mostly dark. As we pass, I see a red Mockingjay symbol flash along the wall. It's gone by the time I ask Peeta if he saw it. We exit the tunnel and are in District Eleven.
We join Effie and Haymitch and exit the train to a line of peacekeepers and their trucks. Effie voices her disgust with the group that has waited to greet us upon our arrival, however I don't care much either way about how we are greeted in the districts, I just want to get through this trip. Once we are prepared to go on the stage, Effie hands us each a notecard to read from. Peeta takes my hand again, assuring me that he can do the talking, as the doors to the stage open and we walk in front of District Eleven. On two elevated platforms stand the families of Thresh and Rue. Thresh was an only child. His mother and father stand on their platform in each other's arms as a flag of their child hangs over them. Rue's flag hangs upon the other platform. Her mother and her other siblings were there. Seeing her face smiling at me and seeing the hurt on everyone's face, who protects them? Two parents that lost their only child, a mother that lost her daughter, siblings that lost their sister, how is this far to them? Peeta finishes his speech and leads me back to the doors. I hesitate at the mic.
"I didn't know Thresh. When I met him, he could have killed me but he instead showed me mercy. However," I look at Rue's family, "I did know Rue. I still see her in the flowers in the meadow, I hear her in the Mockingjay songs, I see her in my little sister, Prim. She was my friend, not just my ally. She was much too young and I couldn't save her. I'm so sorry."
A man near the front of the stage raises three fingers into the air and peacekeepers descend down the stairs quicker than I can process, All around me, everyone is holding up their fingers in the air. I follow their lead and do the same, Peeta copying me. The peacekeepers start forward, toward the man that held his fingers up first. I start to walk after them, but someone grabs me from behind and yanks me bank, dragging me from the stage. The man is brought onto the stage and a gun in pressed against his head. The doors close right before the shot rings out.
"Get up the stairs, now," Haymitch whispers to Peeta and I, dragging me by the arm as I yell at the peacekeepers for killing the man, "Shut up!"
"I never meant for anyone to die. You have to tell him! He has to know that!"
"What the hell are you talking about? Who has to know?"
"Snow. He doesn't want a rebellion. He said that the districts don't believe the love story…"
"So you're supposed to make them believe it." Haymitch sighs, catching on.
"You didn't think to tell me that?! Before we went out there and I did that?!" Peeta shouts at me and I flinch. He's never yelled at me before.
"I'm sorry. He threatened to kill me family…"
"I have family too Katniss! I have to protect people too!" He yells at me again, this time closer to me.
"What about them? Who protects them?" Haymitch points outside, interrupting Peeta and I arguing.
"Help me get though this trip, please Haymitch. Help me get through this. Help us get through this!"
"This trip? Do you seriously think that when this trip ends that's it? Wake up! You never get off this train, this trip will never end. You two have become mentors now. Every year you two will be brought back to the Capitol and they are going to broadcast your relationship."
"What do I do?"
"Be a distraction, both of you. Smile, reading the cards that Effie gives you, word for word would be nice, and you two are going to be madly in love and live happily ever after. Got it? Can you do that," Haymitch looks directly at me and I know the question is directed toward me.
I can do that. I will do that. I just nod and he pulls me against him, hugging me. I take deeps breaths, trying to calm myself down again. Although being against Haymitch is like trying to breath in an alcohol bottle. I can see that the square has been cleared since the incident and the peacekeepers are carrying the mans body from the stage. We walk back to the train in silence, Effie doesn't look at me. Peeta still seems angry with me for not telling him about Snow. I follow them into the dining car and sit down beside Peeta, Effie and Haymitch across from us.
"Just stick to the cards, how hard was that?" Effie sighs as she looks at us.
"The cards are bullshit, Effie."
"Language Peeta! Usually it's Katniss that I expect attitude from," She glances in my direction, "You might not agree with what I have written, but it is the proper and respectable thing to say, including a sympathetic honor to each fallen tribute and their families. It's exactly what the Capitol wants to hear."
"It will please Snow. Just read the cards and smile. Hold hands at least. Maybe a kiss or two. You two are supposed to be madly in love and right now I'm just getting business partners from you two, and that's being generous."
"Fine," I snap at Effie and Haymitch, "I've got it. We aren't convincing anyone."
"We'll do better. We can work on it. I'll do most of the talking and you just follow my lead," Peeta offers, looking at me for the first time since District Eleven. His voice is soft again.
I eat my meal in silence and excuse myself to my room. I walk into the bathroom and take the braid down from my hair. I get a wash cloth to wipe my face of the makeup that Effie was caked onto me. Even after this, I can still feel the peacekeepers hands on me, grabbing me. I decide to take a shower, thinking that might help to wash the feeling off me. I turn the water on as hot as it will go and let my clothes fall to the floor, stepping inside the shower. I get the soap from the shelf inside and scrub at my arms, harder than I intend to. It does what I was hoping for, the hot water burns my skin so that's all Ic can feel and the soap helps to clean away the peacekeepers hands on me. I shampoo my hair quickly and step out, wrapping a towel around me. I walk to the mirror, picking up the hair dryer and drying my hair. I didn't bring clothes in here with me, I hadn't planned to shower. I walk into my room to get something to wear.
I pull out something from my bag, an old knit shirt and a pair of knit pants to match it. They aren't as lavish as I'm sure the ones provided in the drawers are, but they are from home and they are comfortable. I'm putting my pants on as I hear a knock on the door. I wrap the robe hanging from the hook by my bathroom around me and walks to the door to see who it is. I look at the picture next to the door and discover that Peeta is standing outside. I open the door for him and motion him to come in. I pick up my top from the bed as he walks into the room. He sits on the bed and I excuse myself into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I put my top on quickly and walk out, hanging the robe back on the hook.
"What's going on?" I ask him and take a seat beside him.
"I just wanted to check on you, see how you were doing after today."
"It's fine Peeta. I just want to get through this tour and go back home."
"Katniss," He is looking straight at me now, "About what Haymtich said, with us being mentors now, how far do you want to act this out?"
"What?"
"I mean, I know you aren't actually in love with me and I know our fake relationship will make it difficult for you to have a real relationship," he has a sad longing look in his eyes again and I can tell that my feelings are hurting him, "With G…" I do the only thing I know to do and press my lips against his again.
"Katniss," he sighs, "You don't have to pretend with me. I just want to know how far you want to let our love story go, until it ends."
"It's going to have to go as long as Snow wants it to," I shrug as I answer. The truth is, I don't know. As long as Snow wants a love story, there will be a love story. We can't escape it, so we must embrace the fact that this is our destiny now. I am stuck in this story with Peeta and there is no way around it.
"Okay," He stands up to leave, "Thank you, for the kiss. I just wish it was real."
He leaves the room and I'm left alone again. His company was nice, and I miss having someone else in the room with me. I think about going after him to invite him to stay with me, but there is no point in adding any more pain to him. Although what he doesn't know is that the kiss was real. I might not love the idea, but the truth is, I'm going to be in this relationship with him for a lot longer than either of us planned, so I might as well get used to playing the part. Even though I know that a part of me isn't just acting. A part of me does feel something real towards Peeta.
I fall asleep thinking about what the future will look like for Peeta and I. Every year we will have to be madly in love and the Capitol will want to watch our relationship grow. I know that I will be with Peeta until Snow lets us end the publicity act... if we still want to end the act at that point. I'm comfortable with Peeta, I can get used to a relationship with Peeta. Afterall, there are worse games we could play.