I was once told that the most powerful ability any regular person can have is honesty. Being honest can move mountains, rally troops and cause revolutions. To be honest is an armor, for once people realize there is nothing deeper than honesty, they'll be forced to confront the truth.

Or it can be used to tell your girlfriend that yes, that outfit does cause your love handles to peek out and it's adorable and that I want to grab them. My ex did not appreciate that.

My bad. Live and learn.

The second most powerful tool is the ability to bullshit and act like what you're saying is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. To toe the line between truth and fiction so much that it's indecipherable to anyone but yourself.

This was the one I was good at. Very good, but unfortunately it's a double edged sword that can quickly turn into habit. Lie so much and your entire web can come undone from the smallest of things.

They're like two extremes of the spectrum, most people fall in between truth and lies, but for a large part of my life I fell into the liar extreme. Why? The reason doesn't really matter, it was childish when I started but quickly became second nature. Then I lost a relationship because of it when I turned twenty and I swapped to the other end of the spectrum, being utterly and completely honest.

An honest note to anyone who even reads these. People absolutely despise you when you are honest about everything. Most of the time this can be circumvented by not butting your head into every single conversation with your opinion on whatever the heck people are talking about, but on the occasion you're directly asked your opinion? Out of luck.

Bright side is, honesty makes you some good friends.

My ramblings have meaning. I swear. They'll all make more sense later on. Maybe not now, but… in a few chapters I'm sure.

Chapter 4. In The Wake Of Lucidity

Natasha took my declaration better than I expected to. Although, it was hard to have expectations regarding a person's reaction when I've only known them for about a day. I remembered vaguely from the game that she was a kind, understanding but firm woman, as she needed to be to run not only a clinic but also an orphanage.

She told me that she expected it somewhat, that if there was ever a time where the underground and overworld get reconnected, she wouldn't be surprised if I was one of the first people out.

I wondered what that meant for Zenith. Did she so fiercely declare her intentions to one day remove herself from this cave? Or did her intentions leak out when she published that book of hers?

It was impossible to be truly sure unless I outright asked, but that wasn't something I was going to do. I disliked asking people such things and letting people know anything that might clue them in that I'm not their Zenith was something I wanted to avoid.

Seele was different, I still didn't know our relationship from before. Was I just a helping hand in Natasha's clinic? Or was I considered a friend to her? She wasn't that outspoken of a person, and it was difficult to get a read on her, but she was vocal about her opposition of me going topside.

I wasn't a combatant. That much was clear. I knew that from my heart, and perhaps one day that would change. But the truth was that I would just be a burden in a fight.

And their plan? With what they learned about Cocolia?

It almost seemed like an inevitability.

Natasha however, bless her beautiful demeanor, shut Seele down. Told the purple-haired Wildfire member that it was my decision and that she needed to respect it. Seele backed down, and before long the trio of Trailblazers were up and about and ready to leave.

The only doctor had to go back to her clinic, so she wasn't with us to greet them. Sampo, on the other hand, was there seemingly out of nowhere and decided to stick his rat's nest of hair where it didn't belong.

Well, I mean I guess he did belong because he was ALSO a member of Wildfire (I think), But the notion remained.

If there was one thing that I noticed between the trailblazers and Wildfire, a strikingly huge difference that certainly wasn't there when I last saw them all together, it was the fact that everyone seemed much more relaxed around each other. Seele even offered a greeting rather than glaring at them from the sidelines.

"How did everyone sleep?" Seele said, starting off the conversation.

Dan Heng, a person whom I hadn't yet actually heard before, was the one to respond.

"Good." He said stoically.

Stelle gave a mock salute. "Well rested and ready, captain."

"Well well well. Look who it is. The Heroes of the underground! Pleasure to be in your company once more." Sampo said, shattering the relaxed atmosphere to what only could be described as… Sampo-vibes.

"...Did you rehearse that?" March said, exasperation clear on her face.

Stelle facepalmed, an action that I mirrored. I really wouldn't be surprised if he actually did rehearse it, but I figured that he was more than well versed in improvised theatrics that he didn't need to.

The conversation flowed to what I generally expected. Bronya had gone back up earlier, a fact that Seele and Natasha told me when I revealed my decision to leave, and Sampo was here to help guide them out of the underground. Oleg was acting as the de-facto leader, which was as much of a surprise to me as it must have been to the trio of trailblazers upon learning that Natasha was the real leader of Wildfire.

I didn't let it show on my face when I learned of that handy fact in the moment, but I was clearly forgetting some details regarding the game. Not a good sign, as my memory was probably my biggest asset at the moment.

"...Also Zenith will be joining you all upon your ascent. What she does past that is up to her. Please take care of her." Seele said out of the blue, alerting my drifting attention back into the conversation by mentioning my name.

I blanked for a bit. I didn't plan on telling them just yet. Rather I was going to tag along with Sampo to bring them to the surface, but fuck. Improvisation. I was good at it, so might as well.

"R-" I coughed, my body moved to say something before my brain fully caught up, and my throat did not like it. "Right. Sampo, Seele and I will be taking you up to the surface, but I was… hoping that I could join you three while you searched out Cocolia."

Perhaps… I could wait to mention my intentions to actually join the Astral Express. I sort of glanced over it when I explained it to Natasha and Seele earlier, because there wasn't any real way to explain how I knew such things and the three trailblazers weren't exactly forthcoming on the fact that they would probably accept new passengers. From what I could tell they really only told people that they weren't from Belobog and that they wanted to fix things.

So yeah, waiting on that for now.

The three trailblazers shared a glance, as if they were communicating nonverbally. Stelle gave a very visible shrug, practically deferring the choice to the two more experienced ones. While March seemed to take that as her queue to make a decision.

"Of course you can join. Just be careful if we have to get into fights. I can protect you but don't go rushing into danger!" March said, smiling at me and giving me a pretty wink.

I didn't realize how much my pulse had sped up in anticipation of their decision. It was only a few moments, hardly longer than a handful of seconds, but I could feel my body relax upon the confirmation.

But that was good, it was progress. Intertwining myself with the 'main cast' was certainly a recipe for disaster, but it was something that I felt that I needed to do. My memory of events was spotty, but I could recall that they didn't really do anything that threatening until they encountered Cocolia herself.

A few scuffles with guards sure, but it wasn't as if they were monsters. I doubt the guards would target a non-combatant like me.

…Well I didn't need to think about that right this moment.

"Thank you." I said genuinely. "I'll try not to be a burden."

Dan Heng gave me a nod, I couldn't quite tell if he was disinterested or if he was simply that stoic, but Stelle gave me a bright smile and a thumbs up.

With that out of the way, the rest of the conversation wrapped up quickly. Seele, Sampo and I, accompanied by the trio of trailblazers made our way to the surface.

One thing that didn't change, or at least didn't seem to change no matter what world, universe or time, was that cities all seemed to be similar to each other. Not in the sense that their architecture is the same, or technology, but in the sense that cities were made of people and people generally stuck to the same rules in larger places.

That is to say, no one would ever bother you if you held your head up high and walked straight.

If you look like you have a purpose, and you walk like you have a purpose, no one would stop a person who has a purpose. That was the unspoken rule of the city.

I don't know how to explain it to people who aren't used to big cities, but that's just how it is.

Sampo had given me a few things before we parted ways on the surface, mainly a bag full of various mischievous tools that is way too much to unpack without having a bunch of extra space (seriously how did he pack so much in one little bag?), but I doubted he would break the rule of the city.

Dan Heng also complied with the rule of head high and walk straight. Though to me it felt more like the general aura of 'don't talk to me or I'll glare at you until you go away' did most of the work. He was the one who made the executive decision to visit Serval over Gepard when our party read Bronya's letter.

March and Stelle… sort of accomplished it. And by sort of I mean Stelle got distracted by something shiny that was in a trash can, went to go see what it was and then March had to get her back on track. They basically did it in reverse, where instead of wanting no one to bother them, everyone else didn't want to catch their attention instead.

Seele was the worst offender, not that I could blame her. She couldn't remember a single thing from the last time she was on the surface, an entire decade without seeing the sun (more like raging blizzard) was bound to get anyone a little star struck. Regardless of the circumstances, she was already getting a few stray looks from people. Not exactly optimal when every single person in our party was probably on a wanted list in some way or form.

I elbowed my fellow underground coworker, who half-glared at me in confusion.

"Eyes forward and head straight. People are staring." I said without looking directly at her.

Seele did what I said. "How do you know how to blend in on the surface?" She asked me.

The real answer was that I used to live right next to San Francisco, one of the biggest cities in America. I couldn't just tell her that, though. "I come up here often for supply drops." I said instead.

"Not this far into the city. Only Sampo goes this far and that's because he breaks protocol." I could feel the frown on her face without needing to look. "Also you don't come up here that often."

"Keeping tabs on me now?" I shot back, deflecting in hopes of getting around the fact that I didn't come up here nearly as much as I thought I did.

"If I didn't, what sort of friend would I be?"

I didn't have a retort for that. I felt strangely… guilty, with how she said it. Even if it wasn't my fault, I wasn't her Zenith. I didn't have the same experiences and memories. And although I knew that when I made my resolve to leave this frozen rock, hearing the term of endearment just hit that point home even more.

What would she think when I revealed that I was planning on leaving with the trio in front of us? What sort of condolences could I offer that weren't just excuses and half-explanations?

It felt like a snag on my heart, tugging and bringing me down. I was saved from giving any real proper response by the fact that we had reached Serval's workshop and she had opened the door to let us in.

"...Thanks." I said quietly before I stepped into the building, away from the cold of the outside.

I wasn't quite sure what I was thanking her for, but Seele seemed to understand regardless.

The more time I spent in this world, the less I understood about my alter ego. I hoped that this wouldn't be a recurring thing.

Serval looked every bit like her younger sister, just much more mature and 'punk-like'. Her dark blonde hair went past her shoulders, and the single streak of blue was eye-catching. She had a labcoat-esque design for her top, that had half the coat and half a frilly black top. There was a portion of her stomach showing, highlighting a purple lightning bolt of a tattoo on her hip that flowed into her miniskirt-shorts-tights combo.

I… may have stared much longer than I should have, and Serval definitely caught on. The wink and smirk she silently gave me lit my face up brighter than a christmas tree, but I tried my best to shake it off.

My weakness to pretty women was rearing its head, and Serval's punk-gothic dress was a double whammy.

I refused to take blame for my staring. Every girl had her weaknesses and mine was the fact that prior to my transmigration I didn't go out much and as such my tolerance to meeting hyper attractive women (so literally every single character) was non-existent.

Ugh.

Moving on.

Serval explained her past with Cocolia and as a researcher, along with what she knew of the Stellaron. I didn't have much to say. I could vaguely remember some details from when I played the game, but it was as much as a refresher as it was learning new facts.

There was a difference in hearing about how Serval and Cocolia grew apart to my face, rather than on a screen. It was… more real, obviously. But the actual pain that it caused Serval was evident in how she recounted things, even if her tone was kept level.

All it did was reinforce how this was reality, and not some sort of dream. The people who I interacted with weren't just characters, but real living breathing human beings. I knew that, and it wasn't like I went through some big epiphany to realize it, but taking a step back and actually thinking about my situation made it all seem so ludicrous.

In all honesty it gave me a headache.

Gepard made an entrance at one point, prompting us to hide away like stowaways during a routine inspection on a ship in the 1800s. Serval's workshop was surprisingly spacious, the illusion of it being smaller than expected was likely due to the large pillar in the middle full of tools and trinkets.

Her acting could use some work, but it got the job done. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from their relationship, but it didn't seem like they had a bad sibling relationship, just a little strained when it came to certain topics. Gepard being in silvermane guards, working for Serval's… ex(?) seemed like a conflict of interest.

It worked out. Though there was a moment after Gepard left where tensions between Seele and Serval rose over the thought of what Cocolia was doing to Bronya, but it was smoothed over when Stelle redirected our objective to actually infiltrating the fragmentum to find the stellaron.

The fragmentum itself was different, in a way that I didn't know how to explain. It was as if the air was stagnant, or stale despite being in the open. Like there was an aching feeling of age and decay just by being in the area. I could tell the second I crossed over the threshold, like I passed over an invisible barrier.

Was it meant to keep us out? Or something in?

I only had a brief chance to ponder my thoughts of the fragmentum before I felt a familiar vibration coming from my pocket. After nearly an entire twenty-four hours of not bothering to think about it, it took me a few beats to identify that it was my phone.

My phone that I couldn't unlock. Luckily, I could at least answer calls without needing to.

There wasn't a number listed, only an "Encrypted Number" displaying. It gave me pause, but I wasn't going to let that squander answering a call when I couldn't access it otherwise. If there was one thing that could give me some idea of who Zenith was, it was her phone.

I answered it, putting the device up to my ear. "Zenith speaking." I said.

The group gave me a brief glance, before focusing back on the path through the fragmentum.

Rather than any sort of response, all I got was… static. Like the kind that one would get when tuning into a blank radio station. Sounds of electrical mish mash repeated for ten seconds before it abruptly hung up.

I frowned and stared at my phone, confused as to what that could possibly be. Spam, maybe?

"Who was that?" Seele asked, when she saw me pocket my phone. "Natasha?"

I shook my head. "No, it was just static before it hung up."

"Huh. Weird."

"Might be the fragmentum messing with the signal. It does that sometimes." Serval gave her two cents.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. It was probably just my anxiety combined with the off-putting nature of the fragmentum, but I felt like it was deeper than that.

"Yeah, probably." I said, choosing to put my foreboding feeling on the back burner. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Let's focus on getting to Cocolia."

Remembrance over each and every detail of what happened in the game wasn't realistic, but it was comforting to know that at the very least we were following a general path of similarity from what I could recall. My knowledge cut off sometime around the middle of what happens in Xianzhou, as that was when I stopped playing.

Unfortunately, Belobog was the last time I would be able to be comforted by my own knowledge. I didn't yet know it, but when a butterfly flapped its wings.

Everything would change.

How foolish of me to forget.

Start: Feb 7th. 2024.

End: Feb 10th. 2024.

Words: 3287

Another chapter and so quickly!?

Yep. It's much more of an inbetween and build up, but I like to keep chapters around 3k words. Depending on what I do with the next chapter… might be longer. Not sure. Thanks for sticking around.

Idk what else to say. Give me your opinion, or don't. Bye.