The next few days go by without much excitement. Peeta has been staying at the house more and Gale is finally up and walking. He is still staying at the house so mom and Prim can treat the wounds on his back as needed, but they are beginning to heal up well, they said he could probably go back home by the end of the week. They haven't asked about why Peeta has been here so much, Prim knows but my mom doesn't. I wake up in my bed, my head resting on Peeta's chest. I don't know what time it is, but I know it's early based on the orange color of the sun outside my room. Like every morning, I wake up to the baby doing gymnastics inside of me, making me feel like I could throw up at any minute. I get up quickly, trying not to disturb Peeta, and make my way to the bathroom downstairs. My mom will hear if I go to the one outside my room and I'm not ready to talk to her about this yet. I sneak past the living room and shut the door behind me once inside the bathroom, making sure to lock it. I kneel in front of the toiler before the nausea completely overtakes me.
Once I'm finished, I stand up, flushing the toilet and turning the sink on. I wash my hands and then cup them together and bring them to my lips, sipping the water from them and squishing it my mouth to rinse the taste out. I brush my teeth as well, rinsing my mouth again afterwards. After completing this, I grab a washcloth and wash my face. When I feel satisfied, and the taste it gone, I dry my hands and face and leave the bathroom.
"Did you just throw up," Gale's voice startles me. He is waiting outside of the bathroom for me.
"How long have you been there?"
"Long enough. I had to pee, but then I saw the light on so I went upstairs, then when I came back down, I heard someone that sounded like they were getting sick."
"I'm fine."
"Katniss," Gale walks toward me and places the back of his hand on my forehead, "You're not fine."
"It was just something I ate or something, I don't know."
"You've been getting sick, every morning for the past week now."
"Gale, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I've heard you Katniss. I heard you that morning in the kitchen, I've heard you every morning you've come down the stairs," He looks at me, reaching out and lifting my chin up so I'm facing him, "What's going on Katniss?"
"How much did you hear, in the kitchen?"
"I heard Peeta convince you that you needed to let Prim check you, but the pain medications kicked in around that time, so I didn't hear much past that."
"Then you should know I'm fine. Prim checked and I'm fine."
"Snow must be pretty pleased right now." Gale scoffs as he turns away. He knows.
"What the hell are you talking about Gale?"
"I just mean the wedding, you and Peeta were supposed to get married a few days ago and you didn't because of the whipping." I study his face, trying to see if this is the true meaning of what he said, but he's giving nothing away.
"He'll live. Excuse me," I brush past him and walk back upstairs, climbing back into bed beside Peeta.
"Where did you go," He kisses my forehead as I lay back down, wrapping his arms back around me.
"I was sick."
"You should've woke me up."
"It's fine. Just go back to sleep." We both fall back asleep quickly, but I can't stop thinking about what Gale meant by telling me Snow must be happy.
I wake up again later in the morning, sitting up and looking at Peeta. He is still sleeping beside me, his hair is glistening in the sunlight that fills the room. He looks so peaceful and so innocent. This is the boy I'm having a baby with, and suddenly it doesn't feel like my world is ending. I can picture a little boy with Peeta's eyes and his blond hair, running into our room in the mornings, climbing into our bed and cuddling up to him. I can picture Peeta holding him, and his eyes just lighting up. I smile to myself, maybe this would all end up okay like he said. I lean down and place a gentle kiss on his lips, waking him up.
"Good morning," I smile at him.
"Good morning," He looks up at me confused, "You were kissing me?"
"Yes, I wanted to. Is that okay?"
"Of course, it's okay. I'm just not used to affection from you with no cameras."
"I was thinking," I sit back and look at him, "Maybe that's something you should start getting used to. Afterall, we are having a baby."
"What are you suggesting?"
"Nothing. I'm just saying we can see how things go," I shrug and stand up, walking to the bedroom door to leave, "Whatever happens with no cameras, happens."
"I like that idea," He smiles.
I walk out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen, seeing Gale cooking breakfast with my mom and Prim outside, gathering flowers. Peeta comes down the stairs behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my cheek before walking past me and going into the kitchen to join them. He goes over to my mom and takes over for her making something. Gale looks over at me, asking if I'm okay, which earns a concerned look from my mother and a glare from Peeta. I walk out the door, out front to where Prim is gathering the flowers and extra snow to freeze in case we need it.
"I don't know how people can live like this," I walk over to her and sit down on the bench behind her.
"This isn't living." She finishes scoping some snow into the bowl and sits down beside me.
"Prim, you know that everything I do comes back to you and mom right?"
"Katniss, you gave me a chance."
"Yes. A chance to live..."
"No. A chance to do something. You've given everyone a chance to do something. Since the last games, something is different. I can see it." I reach out for my sisters hand.
"What can you see?"
"Hope," She smiles at me, and I pull her into a tight hug.
"I love you Prim."
"I love you too Katniss."
"We should get back inside; mom was making breakfast. Also Prim, can you please not tell mom about the baby yet?"
"Of course, but for what it's worth, I think you'll be a great mom."
I smile at her again. She's grown up so much since the last games, and I hate that she's had to. We stand up and walk back inside. Prim places the bowl full of snow in the back of the freezer and I put the flowers into the vase in the middle of the table. My mom and Peeta set down a plate of eggs and biscuits, Gale puts a plateful of chopped vegetables into the fridge and joins us at the table. Peeta and I eat quickly and excuse ourselves from the table. We walk into the living room and he joins me on the couch, I pull my legs up toward my chest and Peeta scoots over closer to me, wrapping an arm around me. He lays his hand on my stomach and kisses my forehead, I let myself lay against him.
"We will figure this out. I know that you probably already have plans and are working on getting things taken care of, but I've got an opinion too Katniss. I want to keep our baby. Will you please think about keeping the baby?"
"I'm keeping the baby Peeta."
"What?"
"I said I'm keeping the baby."
"Really?" I see his smile grow, lighting up his eyes.
"Yes," He pulls me into a very tight hug, pulling back and kissing me. We start to lose ourselves in the kiss, until I hear Gale clear his throat behind me.
"Just did what you had to do to survive right? Some act," he scoffs as he turns away from us.
I hear the door slam behind him as he walks out of the house. Peeta leans back against the couch, removing his arms from me. He scoots a little bit further away from me, almost as though he is embarrassed to have been seen with me like that. I turn to face him and see he is already staring at me. I can hear my mom and Prim talking about something in the kitchen, something about Gale and hunting. I try to think of what to say to Peeta, part of me is hurt that he reacted like this to being caught. I never thought it bothered him this much.
"Go on," Peeta breaks the silence and motions toward the door, "Really, go find him. It's okay. I'll be here when you get back."
"Peeta," He is waiting for me to run after Gale, "I wasn't going to..."
"You weren't going to jump up and go, but you want to. I can tell by the look on your face when he slammed the door. You care about him Katniss, and I think that you do love him, at least part of you. I know that care about me too. I know that we're having a baby and that I don't have anything to worry about. But I know you want to go after Gale and talk to him. So, go on and find him. It's okay. Besides, he's right. All of this is just what you had to do to survive the games."
"Peeta, it's not like that anymore. I want you; I want to be with you. I care about you. We're having a baby, and I'm okay with it and I want to keep our baby. I love you." I don't know where it came from but the words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them.
"That's the first time you've said that to me," he looks at me, "I love you too Katniss."
"I'm sorry it took so long to admit it," he scoots over closer to me again, pulling me into a hug.
"It's okay. I've known, I was just waiting for you to admit it to yourself. It's nice to hear you say it," he kisses me softly, pulling away and look up at me, "Now go talk to him. I mean it."
"You won't go anywhere?"
"I promise. I'll be right here when you come home." I nod and kiss him again quickly, walking into the hallway and pulling on my jacket and boots.
I let my mother and Prim know where I am going and then head out the door. I look around the victor's village quickly, knowing he won't be there, although it will be much easier if he is here. Like I thought, he isn't anywhere near here. I begin the walk to the woods, checking around myself often to ensure there's no peacekeepers or prying eyes waiting to turn me in. We have been at the house for most of the time since the whipping, so it feels nice to be away. I get to the edge of the fence and quickly duck under it, being careful to avoid contact the metal. Once under, I run to the cover of the trees and check around again to ensure no one saw me. I begin walking down our usual path, deeper into the woods. I approach the clearing; it is one of our spots. As I get closer, I make our Gale's figure, sitting in the grass, staring out into the opening. We've talked about leaving before, said that is the way we would always go. But we're still here. I approach him slowly and sit next to him.
"Hey," I offer a smile at him, "I had a feeling you'd be here."
"What do you want catnip?"
"What you saw, with Peeta and I..."
"It isn't an act anymore Katniss. There are no cameras in the house, no cameras in your room. I know he's been staying there at night."
"You're right. It isn't just an act anymore."
"So, when's the wedding? Are actually going to marry him now?"
"No, I'm not really getting married. This is all new to me Gale. I never thought any of this would happen, I never wanted any of it to happen. I didn't think I would survive the games, but I did what I had to. Then it just started becoming easier and easier with him. But that doesn't change how I feel about you."
"It doesn't matter. It's not like I could ever have you for real, it would always be hidden. You've become a puppet for Snow, and you must do what he wants, no matter what that means. Until we can break you free from his hold, we don't stand a chance. You know that, so do I."
"I'm sorry."
"You love him."
I put my head in my hands, drawing my knees up to me. He's right, I do love him. He's also right that I don't stand any chance with anyone else while Snow has a target on me, but even if the choice were to become mine, I know part of me will still choose Peeta. I debate about telling him about the baby. I know he'll be able to tell soon anyway. I've got to be close to a couple months now, according to how Prim calculated it. I place my head in my hands, feeling nauseous again. I silently plead with myself, and with the baby, not get sick right now. I stand and walk to the tree line, away from Gale. I pace at the tree line and lean over against a tree; I know it's unavoidable. I gag and everything from breakfast makes it way out. I hear Gale walking over.
"So, I guess walking away is..." He approaches me and realizes what's going on, "Shit catnip. I'm sorry."
He stands behind me, holding my hair out of the way and rubbing my back for comfort. I finally catch my breath and straighten up, wiping at my mouth with my sleeve. I thought this was supposed to just be in the mornings, not the afternoons. I chance a look at Gale, and I know he isn't going to let this go. I know I should tell him, but he already seemed so upset by seeing Peeta and I kiss, I don't know how he will react to this news. Maybe his reaction won't be as bad as I think, he already knows we slept together during the victory tour.
"That's the second time today. I think we should go home; you need to rest. Admit it or not, you've gotten some type of bug." I do want to go home, and rest, but not because I have a stomach bug.
"We can go home," I agree to his suggestion, more than happy to go home and take a nap. I didn't realize how tired I am until he mentioned the word rest. We begin to walk through the woods.
"Every morning for the past week, you've been throwing up. That made the second time today. I would say whatever bug you've got is probably going to last longer than a few days," He looks over at me, I can tell that he is trying not to think about the most obvious reason I'm sick.
"Gale..." I stop walking and he quits a few steps ahead of me, "I don't have a bug."
"So, do you want to tell me what's going on?" He looks everywhere, except in my eyes.
"I'm pregnant." He nods, not saying anything else in response. He starts walking again and I follow him, trying to keep up with his now quick pace.
"So you want kids now? That's great to know. I mean I wish I would've known you wanted all this," he turns and looks back at me, waiting for me to catch up to him, "I could've given you all of this, and more."
"Gale, you know that Snow would never have let that happen."
"We're going home," He grabs my hand and walks again, "I don't want you in the woods again. It's not safe. Who knows so far? Does Snow know?"
"Not that we know of. Peeta and Prim know, and you. We-I haven't told my mom yet."
"She'll be okay with it. She'll be concerned about you, but she'll be okay. Keep this news away from the public as long as possible," He keeps talking as we walk, getting closer to the fence, "I'm staying there again tonight but I'm going home in the morning."
We don't say anything else while we walk home, he makes sure to help me through the fence instead of just letting me do it alone like usual. He also slows his pace so I'm able to walk with him easier. Once we get home, Peeta is waiting on the couch for me. Gale motions for me to go in there and he walks into the kitchen, informing my mom that he will be leaving in the morning and thanking her, and Prim, for everything. I walk to the couch and sit down, Peeta wrapping his arms around me. I don't realize how tired I am until I lay back against him. I fall asleep almost instantly.
I wake up to Peeta telling me to come eat dinner. I try to object, telling him I'm not hungry, but he doesn't let it go, neither does Gale, who I notice is sitting on the other side of the room. I give in and eat a little bit of the soup that Prim fixed and go into the bathroom, taking a shower and going to lay in bed. Peeta appears in my doorway, not walking in like usual. I motion for him to come join me, he hesitates but does so eventually. After laying next to me, he kisses my forehead, pulling me close to him again.
"Thank you, for telling him. He seems to be taking it well."
"Too well, there has to be something else going on. He reacted by storming out of the house when he saw us kiss, then he's perfectly calm about us having a baby? It doesn't make sense."
"It could be that he's waiting for you to tell your mom, see how she reacts. I know I'm waiting on you to tell her."
"Have you told your family yet?"
"No," He holds onto me, "not like they would care much anyway. They never thought I would be coming home after the Games, they mourned me before I was even in the arena. Your mom cares about you and she deserves to know."
"I'm sorry Peeta," his family is always a rough subject, he hasn't had the easiest childhood and he parents basically wrote him off as dead before we were even on the train after the reaping. He wasn't lying about that.
I wrap my arms around him, kissing him softly and pressing myself against him. I run my fingers through his hair and shift my body so I'm laying on top of him, rubbing against him just the right way. I continue to kiss him, allowing him to pull me closer and grind himself into me. We've only been together that night on the train, but I feel the same way I did that night, desire burning inside of me for him to come closer, push against my harder. He runs his hands under my shirt, trailing kisses down my neck, and we hear a door shut down the hall, someone is still up. We hear the footsteps walking past the door to my room and I lay beside him. He returns to just holding me.
"Maybe tomorrow night," he kisses me and I fall asleep quickly.
The usual nausea wakes me up, flipping my stomach around and sending a burning sensation up my throat. Like every morning, I get out of bed and make way downstairs to the bathroom so my mom doesn't hear me. I move at a much quicker pace as the contents of my stomach threaten against my closed mouth to spill into the floor. I sling the door open, swatting at it to close it and kneel in front of the toilet, gagging up everything in my system. I hear the door open behind me and assume it's Peeta. I lean over as I get sick again, I feel a warm, calloused hand on my back and my hair is lifted away from my face. Gale. I close my eyes as the last wave passes and I'm able to lean back against the bathtub. I see Gale's face for the first time, his eyes are swollen and stained red. It doesn't look like he's been to sleep yet. His face has red streaks and marks from him rubbing at his eyes. I've never seen him look this upset or weak, and here he is.
"Well, at least I know why you're sick this morning," He helps me up to my feet, "Morning."
"Have you even slept?"
"It doesn't matter. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. I'm going back to bed, get some sleep Gale."
"Katniss," He reaches for my arm, "I'm sorry. I thought I could do this, be the supportive best friend, but I can't. I love you and seeing you with him, looking at you and knowing you're carrying his baby, it hurts. So, I need some time and space. I'll be gone before you get up, so I'll come find you when I'm ready to talk. I'm sorry. But congratulations on the baby and the wedding."
He kisses my forehead, letting his lips linger there a bit too long, before walking away from me and into the other room. I could try to follow him, try to talk to him, but I don't. He's more hurt by this than he is letting on, so I just let him go and I go back upstairs and lay down next to Peeta.