A few months have passed since I told Gale about the baby, and he left my house. He has come by a couple of times, dropping stuff of to my mom, but he hasn't said a word to me, hasn't even asked about me since he found out. I'm about six, almost seven months now. I pace along the small deck outside of the bakery, waiting on Peeta to come out. He decided to come see his parents today, they still didn't know about the baby. I place a hand on my stomach, I don't have much of a bump, barely even bloating. Anyone that notices will just assume I've had a large meal or that I'm just bloated. I don't know if Peeta is telling them today or not, but tonight we are telling my mom. My sister is helping us to prepare a dinner, before the capital broadcast about the Quarter Quell. The door to the bakery opens and Mrs. Mellark is standing in the doorway. Her eyes bore into me. I think being in her presence might just scare me more than the thought of Snow.
"Get inside before somebody see's you out here." She keeps her tone even, but I can tell she doesn't like the idea of me being seen on her porch. I walk inside quickly, her shutting the door behind me. "I never congratulated you on winning the games. I truly didn't think I'd see Peeta around again, but I knew you had a chance. I suppose I should thank you, for making sure my son stayed alive."
"Thank you," I look around for Peeta, however he isn't in the bakery anymore, "You're welcome. But to be honest with you, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Peeta. He is the one who actually saved us."
"With the puppy love act?" She scoffs, "If you want to give him credit, go ahead. It was your acting the actually allowed his declaration of love to mean anything."
"He meant it when he said it, so did..." She holds up her hand to stop me.
"Oh, I'm sure he meant it. Afterall, he seemed to pine after you for so long. However, you do not have to lie to me Katniss. I know you don't share those feelings for my son, who could blame you? I know the Hawthorn boy is in love with you, you've spent your entire life around him. He kept your family alive during the games. He's so strong compared to Peeta. Peeta is weak. I know that you can't possibly have real feelings for him. But don't worry, I'll keep the secret safe."
How can she assume how I feel? She has never had any faith in her son, I've seen her beat him many times. We would always wait until she was gone to trade squirrels with his dad, because of how his mom would treat everyone. Now she is standing in front of me telling me she knows I can't love Peeta because he is too weak for me? He isn't Gale, he will never be Gale, but he isn't weak. I remember the look on Peeta's face when he told me what his mother had said to him before we left for the games, she told him that district twelve might finally have a victor... only she wasn't talking about him, she was talking about me. Peeta had placed all his bets on me winning too. The lack of concern and confidence his mother had in him was disheartening to me. Our child will never know how that feels, I will make sure of it. I notice Peeta come down the stairs with his father, walking back into the bakery. I notice a red mark on his cheek, but I don't say anything about it. He walks over to me quickly and wraps his arms around me.
"I suppose congratulations are in order," His father smiles at us softly, "Peeta was just telling me the news."
"What news? We already knew they won the games, and they are supposedly engaged. We do get the capital broadcasts here." He mother rolls her eyes, as though there is no news Peeta could share that is worthy of her time.
"Thank you, Mr. Mellark. It certainly in scary, but we are very excited. We are going to start on a nursery in Peeta's house in the next couple of weeks," I wink at Peeta. This isn't something we have discussed, but it is worth the look of surprise on his mother's face.
"You're pregnant? With Peeta?" She looks between us, seeming confused, "Part of this whole charade, right? How far are you?"
"Almost seven months, and with all respect, it isn't part of any act." I answer his mom.
"Well, I am certainly surprised Gale and his mother, Hazell isn't it, aren't more interested in fighting for the ability to claim his baby to the public and have the nursery at their house."
Peeta looks at me, I can see the doubt and fear in his eyes. I can tell he doesn't believe his mother, but that this has also been a lingering concern in his mind. I know that Gale and I haven't been amazing with hiding our feelings in the past, but things with us have changed now. We aren't even speaking now because this baby isn't his. I look through the window of the bakery, it has begun to rain now. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I see it is four in the afternoon. We are supposed to eat at five and the broadcast comes on at seven. This is a perfect excuse to leave his parents' house.
"Thank you for your concern, however it is highly unnecessary. I don't like to speak so freely on these subjects, but if you must know, I've only had relations with one person, and it was honestly just one time. That person was your son, and the time was while we were off on the victory tour. I can assure you; this is your son's baby. Maybe a little bit more faith in him would help you to see that he isn't the weak little boy you beat behind the bakery. Now, we must be going. We have a dinner planned with my mom and sister."
With that I turn to leave the bakery. His mother doesn't open her mouth to speak, she stands in the corner and stares at us as we walk to the door with his father. He hugs both of us, congratulating us again and apologizing for Peeta's mothers' behavior. We leave after saying our goodbyes and head back to my house. Seeing the way Peeta's mother speaks of him and acts toward him, makes my heart ache for him more. How can someone who grew up with that be so kind and loving toward others, toward me? I will never be able to understand it. I will never be able to understand how a mother can turn so cold toward her children, even as unplanned as our baby is, I could never see myself acting like that toward our child.
"I'm sorry Katniss, about my mom. I know this baby is mine, you've proven that to me. I wish she would've been more welcoming of the idea, even though it isn't in the best circumstances. I should have seen her reaction coming though."
"Don't apologize for her. You did nothing wrong. She will regret it one day, when she see's just how truly strong and amazing you are," I look up at him, his cheek is still puffy and red, "Peeta... did she hit you again?"
"She slapped me. Said I was a moron if I thought that baby was mine. Told me she was going to pretend as though she didn't hear and as though it didn't exist."
This statement makes me want to turn around, makes me want to go back to bakery and give the bitch a taste of what she serves out to Peeta so easily, however I know it won't help anything. Instead, I grasp his hand tighter as we walk. We are standing outside my house when I drop his hand and throw myself against him. Peeta is stronger than anyone gives him credit for, having to endure her his entire childhood. I felt bad for him before, that she never showed up for him and that they never moved into his house with him, but now, I realize it why it never seemed to bother him.
"Did you mean what you said? About the nursery?"
"It's an option we can discuss. I'm sure my mom and Prim would want us here though, and there's more than enough room. But we can definitely talk about that."
He nods to my response and opens the door for me. We walk inside, the smell of vegetable soup greeting us as we walk in. I follow the scent into the kitchen and look on the stove, there is meat in the soup as well. I haven't been to the woods in a few days, my hunting trips were becoming less frequent. I don't have to ask to know where the meat came from. Gale, like always, makes sure to provide as best he can for his family and mine. He also probably assumes I don't hunt much anymore. Prim stirs the soup again and I begin to set the table. Peeta walks in and helps me, putting the spoons with each bowl. Soon Prim has the soup dished and we are sitting around the table with her and my mom.
My mom smiles politely at us, glancing between Peeta and myself. She glances at Prim too. She knows this isn't something we usually do, prepare a meal for a sit-down family dinner, especially one including Peeta. We have had family dinners with Gale before, but never with Peeta. I try to force a smile, despite how nervous I feel. I'm thankful that she can't see my legs bouncing under the table, or Peeta's hand on my knee to attempt at calming me. I stir my soup as everyone else eats, not taking a bite throughout dinner.
"Katniss, are you feeling alright? You haven't eaten a bite of the soup so far. Does this have something to do with Gale bringing the deer meat?"
"No. Nothing like that. I'm just not that hungry I guess."
"Okay, well would Peeta or Prim like to tell me what's going on? I know there must be a reason for Prim to insist on everyone sitting down for dinner together."
"Yes," Prim smiles at Peeta and I, "There is some very exciting news I think it's time to share with you."
"Oh? Well, what is it then?"
"It's not my news! It's Katniss and Peeta's news!" She smiles at us brightly, not seeming to understand why this might not be as great of news as she's making it to be. In these moments, it's easy to remember she is only thirteen, although she always acts much older.
"Oh! That reminds me, is the wedding going to take place before you two go to mentor or is it going to be held in the capital? I know it isn't real, but I would still like to be there."
"We haven't figured that part out yet mom," I tell her and look over to Peeta. I'm not good with sharing this news.
"Well, what is it then?"
"Mom," I look between Peeta and Prim, begging one of them to help me, "So I have to tell you something and as great as Prim makes it seem, you might not be happy."
"Katniss, whatever it is, you can tell me."
"Mrs. Everdeen," Peeta speaks up and I breath an audible sigh of relief, "I'm sure you've noticed that Katniss and I have been getting closer since returning from the victory tour. Well, while we were on the tour, something did happen between us. So now, Katniss is..."
"I'm having a baby mom." I interrupt him. I don't want the idea of Peeta and I having sex to linger in my mom's head longer than it has to and he is drawing out the conversation more than I like.
"Well," She laughs a little bit, "I was wondering when you were finally going to tell me. I mean, that's wonderful Katniss, if this is what you want. Congratulations."
"You knew? Prim did you tell her?"
"No! I swear I didn't say anything."
"Gale! I swear I..."
"Prim nor Gale told me. I work in medicine; I can recognize these things Katniss. I've known for a couple of months. But you're about what? Seven months now? I assume this is why Peeta has been here all the time, and why Gale has barely been around?"
"Yes. You're not mad at me?"
"Not in the least. I'm disappointed that you didn't wait, and that you didn't tell me sooner, but I'm not mad at you. It was bound to happen eventually, with the capital pushing you two together every chance they get and what not."
"I have to go," Peeta announces suddenly and looks at the clock, it's seven-fifty and the broadcast starts in ten minutes. Capital orders that he must watch at his house, or at least that his TV must be on, "I'm so sorry Katniss. Mrs. Everdeen. I will come back over as soon as the broadcast is over to talk about this more."
I walk to the door with him, I feel lighter now, as though a weight has been lifted off of me now that my mom knows our secret. We get to the door, and he opens it, hesitating before going out. He pulls me into his arms and presses his lips against mine, running his hands through my hair. He holds onto his neck, not wanting to let him go. As relieved as I feel in this moment, I can't help the feeling that things can't possibly be this okay right now. President Snow has been too quiet, as far as we know he doesn't know about this baby either.
"I love you Katniss," He pulls away from me and walks out the door quickly, shutting it behind him.
I see him walk into his house and shut the door. I walk back into the kitchen where my mom is cleaning up the dishes. She motions for me to sit back down, setting the dish she was drying down on the counter. Prim is no longer in the room. I know she is about to yell at me, about to tell me how she really feels about my pregnancy. Maybe she doesn't believe it, maybe she thinks something's wrong because I'm not huge yet. I sit back down as she joins me.
"How are you feeling? Any morning sickness still?" She asks me as she sits at the table.
"Not much, but I had a lot at first."
"I noticed. You don't actually believe I was convinced you were just eating something bad, every day, right? Besides the point, I just want to know something. This baby, it is actually Peeta's baby?" Not my own mom too, "I know he's been here a lot and I know you two have gotten closer. But I also know that you spent the night at Gales the night before the tour left. I know that you were kissing him, I saw you two a few times. When you left for the tour, it seemed as though Gale was more than just your friend. When you come back, you've got Peeta attached at your hip. He is here all the time, then when the whipping occurred, I caught you making out with Gale on the table. Even in as much pain as he was in, I could see in his eyes that he was wanting more from you, he was desiring more from you. He doesn't just get those feelings overnight with no encouragement Katniss. So I'm asking you, did you ever sleep with Gale?"
I think about the night she is referring too, before the tour. We were babysitting his siblings while his mom was at work. They had all gone to bed, and we'd stayed up. We were talking about the victory tour, about how it won't change anything between us. He was insecure about the act I was performing with Peeta, and at the time, I thought it was silly of him. It was just an act, I reassured him that he knew my feelings. We were laying in his bed, my head was on his chest, and we were just talking, until I looked up at him and he kissed me. We kissed for a long time, but that was it. We just kissed and then we fell asleep. The next day, I left for the tour, and it changed everything. I brush the tears from my eyes, I know I broke every promise I made to Gale, and I can't blame him for being mad. But I also can't deny my feelings for Peeta are changing. I shake my head in response to my mom's question. I have never slept with Gale. Only Peeta.
"Well, that's good then. I can imagine that Gale was probably hurt by this news, which explains why he hasn't been around much. But it is okay, he will forgive you and come around one day. I've noticed how you are with Peeta, you might not realize it yet, but I think you do love him. At least part of you does, and it's okay to be happy Katniss. It's okay to be happy and to start getting excited about having a baby. I know this isn't the right time and I know it might not be how you imagined it, but it is something to be excited about, no matter how it is happening. I love you Katniss, and I'm always going to be here for you if you need me."
She pulls me into a hug, and I cry against her shoulder. This is the one time where I really just needed my mom and I needed to hear her say that. We pull apart as the Panem Anthem comes on and we make our way into the living room. We sit on the couch, where Prim is waiting, and watch in silence as Snow makes an appearance. The crowd cheers for him as he begins to speak.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the 75th year of the hunger games. It was decided that every twenty-five years, that there will be a quarter quell, in honor and in memory of those who died in the uprising against the capital. An event, that was truly a tragedy for our nation. The quarter quell is a very special game, and now, for the 75th anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion, we are pleased to announce the 3rd quarter quell," the words he is using to describe the games and the joy he expresses while announcing this makes my entire body burn, "Now, as a reminder that even the strongest among us, cannot overcome the power of the capital, for the third quarter quell games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors in each district."
I hear my mom begin to sob and Prim asking us what this means. I hear Snow continue to talk, but I don't hear the words he is saying. I don't hear anything else. I get up and run out of the house, into the woods as quickly as I can. I finally reach my spot by the lake and sink down, pulling my legs into my chest and sobbing. Snow did this on purpose, I am the only female victor from twelve. I'm going back into the arena next month.