I stare into the mirror, taking deep breaths to steady myself as I attempt to pull up my hair for the third time. My hands are shaking, my entire world is about to change in just a couple of hours. Peeta and I have our doctor's appointment this morning, and we are going to be having our baby at the appointment. I know Peeta doesn't agree with my decision, but I'm not risking taking our baby into the games, at least I know she will be safe with Haymitch if I have her today. Peeta steps out of the shower and walks over to me, taking the hair tie and pulling my hair into a loose bun. He is calmer than I am.
"Are you sure about this Katniss?" He asks me the same question he has asked me ever since I told him about my decision.
"Yes. Get dressed, I'm ready to leave."
"Okay," he walks into the room, the bathroom door closing behind him.
I follow him out, pulling a sweater out from the closet to carry with me. He finishes getting dressed and walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me. He is trying to calm me; I know he can tell that I'm nervous. Admittedly, being in his arms calms me down as I take another deep breath. As he releases me, I nod and walk to the door. He follows me and we head to the elevator in silence. He tells Haymitch that we have an appointment, and we get in the elevator. I'm glad he doesn't go into details, the less everyone knows right now the better. He squeezes my hand as the elevator descends.
"I love you Katniss. Just know, if you want to change your mind, I will protect you two. Nothing will happen to you or our baby, I promise. Snow will never touch her." I turn and face him.
"You can't promise that. No one can promise that. As long as she is attached to me, she will never be safe from him. She will be safer here with Haymitch and Effie than she will be in the arena."
"If you deliver in the arena. There is still a chance you won't deliver until you are back home."
"Don't you get it Peeta? I won't be going home. The only way for our baby to go home is if she goes home without me, if she is separated from me now, before Snow kills me."
"Katniss, that…"
"Yes, it is. He isn't letting me go home again and there's no chance we will both go home again. Our only chance is to have her now and get you back home."
"Katniss," he starts but doesn't finish.
"I love you. Now can we please go have our baby?"
"I love you too. Let's go have our girl."
The elevator finally slows and we exit, walking down the hallway to the medical unit. Peeta leans over and kisses me softly before we enter the unit. We are immediately greeted by a young man, dressed in scrubs with a name tag identifying him as a doctor.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Martin. You must be Katniss and Peeta," we nod in response, but don't speak, "It's nice to meet you. I know you all must have been expecting Dr. Adkins; however, I have been assigned to your care now. Shall we go see your baby?"
He motions for us to follow him into a room. We follow him and wait for the door to close. I lay back on the table, Peeta sitting beside me as the doctor prepares the ultrasound. I glance at Peeta, he doesn't seem concerned by the change in doctors. Maybe I'm just nervous, but I have a feeling that I can't shake. Dr. Adkins wouldn't have just reassigned us to anyone for a random reason. I look at Dr. Martin as he squirts the ultrasound gel onto my stomach.
"So, where is Dr. Adkins?" I ask him.
"Dr. Adkins was recommended by President Snow to take an early retirement. He personally assigned me to your case and told me to look into delivering you before the games," He moves the probe over my stomach, "told me about the medication and everything. I'm very informed about your case. Although," he removed the probe from my stomach and prints pictures off the machine, "I'm afraid I'm unable to proceed with delivering your baby. I don't believe it's in the best interest of either of you. I'm sorry Miss Everdeen, but you will have to carry this baby during the games."
"Fuck you," the words are out of my mouth before I have the chance to stop them.
I get off the table immediately and walk as quickly as I can out of the room and out of the unit, racing down the hallway to the elevator, not waiting to see if Peeta is behind me. I stop at the elevator as I wait on it to come. I lunge to the trashcan beside it, dry heaving over it as the sobs take off my body. I feel Peeta's hand on my back. Once I'm sure nothing will come up, I turn into him. He holds me close to him and helps me into the elevator. He doesn't let go of me as we ride to our floor. Once we reach the floor, I pull away from him and walk into the living room area. Haymitch and Effie are waiting on us, the turn to us, as if they were going to say something but decide against it.
"He knows," I take a breath, steadying myself. I don't have time to cry anymore. I have to figure out what I'm going to do, "Snow knows about the baby, and I don't have any options left. I have to go into the arena while I'm pregnant and I might have our baby while I'm in there."
"Effie, can I talk to you?" Peeta leaves the room and Effie follows him, excusing herself from the room.
"Sweetheart," Haymitch makes his way to me and gives me a hug, "It will be okay. Nothing will happen to that baby. Do you really think anyone would support Snow hurting that baby?"
"What do I do? We have our interviews tonight and all I can think about is how much I hate Snow."
"Cinna has a wedding dress for you. Work with it, make something up that will get under Snow's skin. Make him think he missed something and make Panem think they are being cheated out of something because of Snow. All of the victors are pissed. They will say or do anything to stop these games. You do the same."
"I'm not telling Panem about the baby. It will make me a target."
"So, don't. But find something to work with. I'm going to meet with some of the mentors to discuss allies. Shall I let them know a decision?"
"Just Peeta. I don't want anyone else."
"I'll tell them you're waiting until tonight. Relax sweetheart. I'm sure something will be figured out."
I don't see Peeta the rest of the evening. Instead, I'm whisked away by my prep team to begin preparations for my interview. Just as Haymitch had promised, Cinna has made an extravagant wedding gown. He has made it with lace, sparkles, and gems. It has a flare at the bottom and enough sparkles on it to light up an entire room. It would make me the center of attention, which I'm sure is what the purpose of the dress was. I feel a bit disappointed I never got to wear a wedding dress for Peeta, even if it would've been fake and just for the sake of pacifying Snow. Cinna has even taken the time to ensure it doesn't hug my stomach and give away my secret. As we finish with preparations, my prep team leaves, and Cinna and I begin to walk toward the direction of the interviews.
"So will I be twirling this year?"
"Of course. But save it for the end," Cinna emphasizes this point and I realize there must be something important to the twirl.
"Is this the gown I was supposed to wear?" I can't help but wonder, if we had gotten to have the wedding, if this is the gown Snow would have had me wear.
"It is. But I made some special changes for tonight that Snow doesn't know about."
We meet up with Peeta, Portia, Effie and Haymitch. Peeta is in a suit, the type of outfit that is often worn by grooms in the capital I assume. We are both wearing what we would have worn for the televised wedding. Cinna, Portia, Effie, and Haymitch leave us alone and we head toward the backstage area where the rest of the tributes are waiting.
"You look stunning Katniss. I am only sorry I didn't get to see you wear this for real. How are you holding up?" He kisses my cheek as he reaches for my hand.
"I'm okay. We just have to come up with a new plan tonight, that's all." I force a smile for him, "You don't look that bad yourself."
"We will figure it out tonight. Let's get these interviews over with for now."
We walk to the stage door and meet up with all the other victors. Everyone stares at us as we enter, all eyes on my dress. Peeta squeezes my hand.
"A wedding dress," Finnick snickers toward me, "Can't believe Cinna put you in that."
"Snow made him do it."
Finnick seems satisfied with this response and doesn't push the issue. He walks to take him place in line as the Panem anthem plays. Peeta and I begin to make our way to the back of the line, Johanna grabs my arm.
"Make him pay for it."
With that we all from our lines and the interviews begin. As it gets closer to our turn, I begin to get more anxious. The female victor from eleven goes onto the stage. There are only six minutes left until its my turn to go onto the stage. Peeta lifts my chin up to him, meeting my lips with his. I enjoy our kiss and lean against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I hear the male victors name being called. Peeta and I don't move, I stay like this with him, knowing I won't get to have this again. Tomorrow everything will change, we will be fighting to save our baby and fighting to keep each other alive as long as we can. I hear my name being announced.
"Welcome to the stage, Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire," I make my way onto the stage, being blinded by the light. I hear audible gaps as I walk into the lights, "Oh my. Katniss, Cinna has simply outdone himself this time! You look stunning!"
"Thank you, Caesar."
"Now tell me Katniss, I know we are all very disappointed that we never got to see your wedding to Peeta, but am I correct in saying this is the dress you would've worn?"
"Yes, this was supposed to be my wedding dress," I force a frown during this, "Although, we did get married. In secret. It was out hope that we would be able to share a ceremony with all of Panem, however when the games were announced, we knew that was no longer a possibility."
"I speak for everyone in Panem when I say it is such a disappointment that we couldn't share in your special day," He looks around, clearly, he was not expecting this announcement, "but I know everyone, including me, wishes you both the most congratulations."
"Thank you," I look out to Cinna for a cue, knowing I don't have much time left in this interview, "Would you like to see me twirl?"
"Yes! What a wonderful idea! Go ahead," He motions to the stage and takes a step back.
I step into the light more and close my eyes, spinning around. I feel something surrounding me and open my eyes to see my dress being engulfed in flames. I continue to spin, as the fire burns up my body. I stop as the fire begins to die down and stretch out my arms, only then realizing what has happened. I am stretching out black wings to match the black dress that is mocking a design of feathers. Cinna has turned me into a Mockingjay.
"It's… it's a," Caesar struggles to find the word to describe what I have been transformed into.
"It's a Mockingjay."
The audience applauds Cinna and his work as I am ushered up to the rest of the victors. I know Cinna knows what he has just risked, and I know Snow will ensure the punishment is delivered swiftly. Peeta walks onto the stage and Caesar begins his usual routine of small talk. He asks him about our wedding and Peeta plays along with what I have just said. He offers reassurance about how precious our little time together has been, and I notice Peeta looking to Effie, who gives him a nod.
"You're right Caesar, I am so thankful to Snow, the people of the capital, and all of Panem for blessing us with the little time we got together. In fact, I'd have no regrets at all… if it weren't," Peeta looks away from Caesar and I notice the tears forming as he looks in my direction. I know the words that will come out of his mouth before he says them and I prepare for them to hit me as though I'm being punched.
"What Peeta? If it weren't for what?"
"If it weren't for the baby."
There they are. He has just told everyone in Panem about my pregnancy, and that's all the audience needs to hear to go into an uproar. Even the other victors begin to shout. Shouting begins in the crowd. Anger at Snow and demanding a change to the games. Peeta makes his way to me and pulls me into a hug, releasing me and holding my hand. I reach out next to me and take the hand of the victor next to me, as it continues until all of us are holding hands. The lights to the stage shut off quickly as Caesar continues to struggle with the crowd. Silence follows the darkness, and the victors are quicky escorted away from the stage and sent to their floors.