And here we have part two as promised! I will warn you that this is the angstiest. Nothing too terrible but, y'know.

Please enjoy!

~TH~

The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur. Getting his diploma became secondary to reaching his brother. A cheer went up around him as music began playing. He didn't wait for a congratulatory pat on the back or meaningless praise.

If he had been sitting by last name he would have been closer to back. Because he was Valedictorian he was stuck at the front. His life once again disguising curses as blessings.

The crowd was not accommodating as he wormed his way to the back of the gym. Sound was muffled around him as he kept pushing forward. He'd told Bobby he'd meet him outside when it was done. But Bobby was secondary right now. He had to see Dean. Had to make sure he hadn't hallucinated him. At this point Sam wouldn't put it past himself.

In the months that Dean had been gone there were many times that Sam had thought he'd heard Dean returning from the nightshift or moving around in the kitchen. The sound of the Impala coming up the driveway only to glance up and see the keys hanging by the door, untouched since November. So maybe Dean wasn't there. Maybe Sam was just seeing what he wanted to see.

Because he wasn't there. Hundreds of people and yet none of them were his brother. He was an idiot. Why would Dean even want to-

"Hey Sammy."

Sam spun around so fast he nearly lost his balance. "Dean." He breathed.

"Yeah, uh, congrats I guess. Valedictorian. Not bad."

"You're here."

The half grin paired with a shrug didn't do anything to dim the pride shining in Dean's eyes. "Well yeah. I watched you fight your way to the top for thirteen years. Wasn't gonna miss the finale."

All the words that Sam had played over in his mind, the things he had promised himself he would say if he was given one more chance to say them, they all slipped from his mind. "I'm so sorry." was all that came out .

"Sam-"

"I'm sorry for everything." That didn't even begin to cover it. "I didn't mean any of it."

"Sam, it's okay." Dean said, like he had always said. "I-" he paused for a moment, seeming to debate his next words. "I forgive you."

And somehow all the shattered pieces of Sam came together. He flung himself at his brother, not caring who saw or what they thought. He'd never be here again anyway. "I'm so glad you're back."

Dean's arms hesitated before returning the embrace. "I'm glad… that I'm here."

For now Sam would ignore that it didn't sound like he meant it.

~SPN~

Bobby hadn't stopped grinning since the ceremony ended. Sam hadn't either. Dean was following them in some old clunker car. He was surprised that Dean was willing to be seen driving it. He'd always been so proud of the Impala it was weird to see him driving something else.

"Quite a graduation gift." Bobby glanced over at him.

Sam nodded. "One I wasn't expecting, that's for sure."

"We shouldn't be surprised. Dean was never one to miss big moments."

True, but after Christmas, Easter, and Sam's eighteenth birthday passing, he wasn't so sure his graduation wouldn't be added to the list of missed events. Sam wondered if anyone had wished Dean a happy birthday. Sam would have but they still didn't have a phone number. Bobby refused to go searching for it even though Sam was pretty sure that Benny had it.

None of that mattered now. Dean was here and everything was going to be okay.

The unfamiliar car pulled up behind them as Bobby parked his truck. They didn't have anything big planned. Pastor Jim couldn't make it, but promised to visit before Sam left for college. And other than that, Bobby and Dean were all he had outside of school.

Dean would have figured it out though. If he had been here. He would have thrown some kind of party that was the best attended graduation party in the county. Dean was just like that. He could pull off anything no matter how impossible it seemed.

As Sam exited the car, he looked back at his brother. Dean was already out, looking over towards the black Chevy Impala.

"Haven't touched her since you left." Bobby called out, drawing the young man's attention. "In fact Benny drove her back."

Dean nodded. "She's a good car." Then turned and headed inside.

"I wonder what Dean will do with his new car. Probably leave her to rust somewhere." Sam commented.

Bobby turned towards him. "Whadya mean?"

"I mean now that he's back, he'l probably start driving the Impala again."

A strange look passed over the old man's face. "Sam I'm not sure that-"

"Do you guys not eat?" Dean interrupted, sticking his head back out of the house. "You don't even have pie! I'm making pie."

Sam didn't wait for Bobby to finish his thought, hurrying inside to change his clothes before seeing if Dean needed any help with dinner.

~SPN~

Sam had missed Dean's cooking. He'd taken a pack of frozen hamburgers, a box of mac'n'cheese, and enough potatoes to make scalloped potatoes and mashed potatoes. And then of course there was the pie. Dean had grumbled about how there weren't any blueberries because he knew that was Sam's favorite. However there were enough apples for Dean to make his own favorite. And hey, pie was pie.

They were all enjoying their second piece when Bobby shot Sam a glance before turning to Dean.

"How long you thinking about staying?" Sam's head snapped up at the question. He opened his mouth to ask Bobby what the heck he was talking about when Dean answered.

"I was planning on leaving sometime Sunday. I got a long weekend but not long enough to stretch into Monday."

"What?" Sam's voice had Dean turning towards him, eyebrows raised. "You're leaving."

Dean's eyes found Bobby's before moving back to Sam. "I mean, yeah, I've got work Monday."

"But- you work here."

The laugh that came from Dean's mouth betrayed how uncomfortable he felt. "Sam, I haven't worked here in over six months. It's not like I can just… go back to it."

"Bobby would hire you back, right?"

The older man looked between the brothers. "I mean if he wants it back he's always welcomed but I don't think-"

"See," Sam stood up, pie forgotten. "You don't have to leave."

Dean put his own plate down, looking at Sam with disbelief. "Did you ever consider the fact that I want to leave?"

Sam stared at him, jaw hanging open. "But you already left. And you came back."

"I have a life there, Sam." He recognized the barely controlled anger simmering beneath Dean's surface. "I'm not just going to leave it."

"You had a life here and you just left it!"

Dean finally rose, clearly resisting the urge to get in Sam's face. "That was different and you know it."

"You're supposed to be here!"

"You don't need me here." Dean softened, letting out a breath and fixing compassionate eyes on his brother. "Sam, you're not even going to be here in a few months."

"You're not allowed to leave again."

"So I can't leave but you can?" This time it was more frustration than anger.

"I'm leaving for the right reason. You're leaving 'cause you're afraid! You're leaving just like Dad!"

And instead of the explosion Sam expected, maybe even wanted, after that comment, Dean only smiled. It was too wide and too fake and it sent chills down Sam's spine. "It always comes back to this doesn't it? You think you're so much better than me."

"That's not-" Sam backtracked, not familiar with the Dean who called him out on his crap instead of just walking away. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Whatever," The older brother turned away. " I need some air."

"Dean-"

"Do you need anything while I'm in town?" The question was addressed to Bobby. Like Sam had ceased to exist.

The old man shook his head. "Nah, but you can take the Impala if you want. She could probably use it. Keys are hanging by the door."

Dean nodded his thanks, pausing only long enough to say. "I'll be back later tonight. Don't wait up."

The sound of the door slamming shut reignited the anger in the youngest Winchester. "We need to go after him."

"Sit down, Sam." And Bobby sounded more exhausted than anything else. Sam did as he was told, barely sparing Bobby a glance and continuing to stare at the door. "He's fine. He was planning to meet up with Benny tonight anyway. Now I wish he had let the house on better terms but-"

"He can't take off like that again. I need him here. Why doesn't he understand that?"

"He understands it plenty. He's been takin' care of you for the last eighteen years. But there comes a point where he's gotta take care of himself first."

"So what, I'm just supposed to be fine with this? Let him live his own life?"

Bobby fixed him with a glare that spoke of no disagreement. "That's exactly what you're supposed to do."

"But-"

"No one's trying to keep you from going to college because that's what you've decided to do with your adult life. We owe that same courtesy to Dean."

"Yeah but I'm doing something with my life. I'm going to college."

"And Dean has a job he clearly enjoys in a place he apparently likes better than here. So what if he didn't go to college, that doesn't mean he can't think for himself."

Sam glared back at Bobby. He understood his point. He did. But that didn't mean he had to like it. In a few months he would be in California, so it really shouldn't matter. But it did. Because Sam would know that Dean wasn't where he was supposed to be.

But Bobby was right. Dean was an adult. And Sam had spent years telling Dean to be his own person, to not just blindly follow whatever their dad said. And now that Dean was doing that, Sam was the one trying to control him. After his track record he might as well start going by John Winchester Jr.

His head fell back against the couch. "I'm not trying to hurt him. And I know he's nothing like Dad, I know it. I just… always say the wrong thing."

"Maybe you should try to stop seeing Dean as your 'screw-up brother' and see him as another human who deserves the same respect that you do."

Sam hated the fact that Bobby's suggestion would be difficult. He hated that his thoughts were proving Bobby's point.

~TH~

I know this fic has a lot of Sam's inner dialogue as well as people straight up telling Sam what's wrong. But I feel like Sam needs it. Feeling bad about what he did won't automatically change his actions.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! Any and all thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

One more chapter to go!

Much love and God bless,

Jamie