Meredith walked out of the bedroom, Ellyse following tightly behind her. When she opened the door, she saw him standing with a bouquet of flowers, lavender to be specific, her favourite.
"Hey, come in." She said as she stood next to the door.
She noticed that somewhere along the way to the door Ellyse had stopped following her and she was now stood at the door that led to the bedrooms, chewing on her lip. Meredith know a sudden wave of neves had come over here when Derek had walked in.
"These are for you, well for both of you, but I know you like these ones. You do still like them right because if not then I can get-"
"Derek, there great, there still my favourites so thank you." She smiled as she placed them on the counter.
"Okay." Derek breathed rubbing his hands together, not yet noticing the small girl.
"Ells, come here." Meredith said and Derek's head snapped in the direction she spoke.
She walked over nervously and stood holding Meredith's leg tightly, her mom stroking her hair calmly.
"Hi Ellyse." Derek said as he crouched down in front of her.
She looked up to Meredith who nodded before she spoke, "hi."
"Your dress is very pretty." He smiled.
"Thanks. I picked it for you." She said slowly coming out from behind Meredith's leg.
"You did? For me?" He acted shocked.
"Yeah." She chewed the inside of her mouth, something that Derek noticed Meredith also did.
He stood up to Meredith, "does she... does she know who I am?"
"She picked her dress for you didn't she." She smiled."
"Right." He shook his head, his nerves were getting the best of him but he didn't want to ruin this moment.
"You my daddy?" Ellyse asked.
"I am. I'm your daddy and I'm sorry that I haven't been here before." He said looking into her green eyes, his own eyes burning with tears.
To both his and Meredith's surprise, the girl jumped into his arms and he hugged her tightly, stroking the back of her brown hair. He looked to Meredith and smiled.
"I missed you daddy." She muttered into his neck.
"I missed you too baby girl." He sniffled.
Meredith watched the two as her own tears left their pockets, she had kept them apart for so long. It was cruel and she couldn't imagine if someone had take away Ellyse when she was born, never letting her see her until years later. It would have broke her.
"Do you want to pay surgeoner on my dolls?" She asked Derek.
He looked at his daughter and laughed, "if course."
"She's definitely your daughter." He said to Meredith.
"Our daughter. She's definitely our daughter." She corrected.
"She is." He smiled proudly as he watched his daughter get her toys out of the box.
Hours passed and Ellyse was beyond happy and excited to have her father around, she had really warmed up to him; she had played dolls with him, done his makeup and his hair, played kitchen and now she was asleep, her head resting in his lap as Beauty and the Beast was ending on the tv, leaving both Meredith and Derek together in the silence.
"Thank you Meredith." He broke the silence.
"For what?" She frowned.
"For her. For letting me be here, you did an amazing job on your own with her." He smiled as he stroked his daughters head.
"Thanks, Alex helped a lot so I can't take all the credit." She laughed nervously.
"Your her mom Meredith, you did it all so thank you, she's amazing." He looked into her eyes.
Meredith nodded her head wiping the tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry for taking her away from you." She said quietly.
"I know." He said.
"I was just hurt and I didn't know what else to do. It was irrational and in all honesty I didn't care about your feelings in that moment, I wanted to spite you and I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me but I shouldn't have."
"I know it was years ago but I'm so sorry for what I did to you Meredith, I hope you know that. When I met you I never thought anything would happen, until it did, it was just some stupid ritual Mark and I did every time there was a new girl. We were whores and I got you mixed up in that and I'm sorry." He sighed.
"I can forgive you Derek, I have forgiven you because what I did was worse." She looked at her lap.
"It was, what you did was worse and I'm trying to forgive you but moments, moments like these make it some damn difficult." He said gesturing to Ellyse.
"I know, I don't expect you to forgive me." She shook her head, "just don't let it get in the way of your relationship with Ells because she's so innocent and it would break me to see her in the pain I was in as a child."
"I would never hurt her Meredith, I promise you, she's safe with me." He smiled sadly as he leaned over and grabbed her hand.
Ellyse began to stir in her sleep, her lips smacking together, something she'd done in her sleep since she was a baby.
"I should put her to bed." Meredith said as she sat up.
"Can I do it?" He asked.
"Sure, follow me." She said with a sniffle.
He followed her into Ellyse's bedroom, smiling at the pictures along the corridor of the two of them, she was such a cute baby. He tucked her into bed and pressed a kiss to her head.
"Goodnight Ell, daddy loves you." He whispered. He turned around but saw a picture next to her bed, a picture of Meredith and herself the day she had been born. His finger dragged across the picture as he admired how small the baby was and how happy Meredith looked.
"I look so happy because that's the first time she stopped crying." He heard Meredith say.
"She was so small." A tear rolled down his cheek.
"She was, 6lb 9oz." He nodded in response, putting the frame back down and leaving the room with Meredith.
"Her name. How did you chose it?" He asked quietly as they sat down.
"I just knew I guess. I wanted to call her Grace but then she was born and she wasn't a Grace, she was an Ellyse." She smiled.
"I should have been there." Another year left his eyes.
Meredith saw the hurt that painted his face and the guilt was piling up inside of her.
"I know. I'm so sorry." She offered him.
"I want it to be enough Meredith, I really do but at the minute it's just not. I'm trying so hard to forgive you but I should have been here, I should have been here for all of it." He cried, his head falling into his hands.
"Derek." She breathed as she watched him break down in front of her.
"I'm so so sorry, you'll never understand how much I hate myself for doing this to you. I was selfish and malicious and I never should have kept her from you." Her own tears falling.
"I don't want to make you hate yourself Meredith, your a great mother and she's- she's so amazing but I just need time to process everything. I need time with her but I need time to understand everything." He shook his head.
"I get that. Derek, you can see her whenever you want, I promise you, she's your daughter too." She gulped.
He nodded his head, "thank you Meredith."
"You don't have to thank me." She smiled.
"Do you want some coffee or anything to drink." She offered
"Coffee would be good." He sniffled, drying his eyes.
"Is um- where's Scott?" Derek asked as they walked to the kitchen counter.
"I don't know." Meredith sighed.
"You don't know?" He frowned.
"We got into a fight and he left. I told him to leave." She stirred the coffee, more cries starting.
"Oh Meredith." He sighed.
"No, I'm fine." She said.
"Your not Meredith. Your upset, he clearly means a lot to you. Go and find him." He told her.
"What?" She turned to him in shock.
"Go and find him." He repeated.
"No, I can't- that's no. I can't leave Ellyse." She shook her head.
"I'll stay here and watch her, she'll be fine."
"No Derek, no. I can't do that."
"You can, go, go find him."
She watched his face for a minute to see if this was some kind of test, some kind of joke but he was serious, she could tell because he was still holding eye contact with her. She thought about it and she could, she needed to because she loved Scott and they needed to figure it out. It would be helpful to figure it out outside the apartment so they wouldn't wake Ellyse.
"Are you sure?" Meredith asked biting her mouth.
"Yes." He smiled.
"I won't be long. I know where he'll be." She assured him.
"Take your time." He said.
And she left.
Driving through the city, she knew he'd be in his office, it was his safe space. The New York City skyline presented in his office perfectly and he loved it, especially at night. She pulled up outside his office grabbing the Krispy Kreme doughnuts she'd picked up as a peace offering.
The receptionist at the office told her that he had signed in and as in fact in his office so she got in the elevator and made her way up. She didn't know what she was going to say to him but they needed to figure this out, he was partly right, he was in Ellyse's life and if he wanted to stay that was this problem needed to be resolved. As she got off the elevator and was walking towards his office, she heard noises, noises that shouldn't be being made in offices, she's grimaced as she walk past, paling as she noticed that they only got louder as she got closer to his office. In that moment, she knew exactly what she was going to walk in on.
She stood on the opposite side of the door, her heart breaking into two as her thoughts were confirmed before she even opened the door. She twisted the handle and opened it, standing in the doorway as she watched her boyfriend have sex with another woman. He didn't even notice her until a sob racked her body. He turned to her and his face dropped as he quickly stood up, covering himself.
"Meredith- I- it's not what it looks like." He stuttered.
"I can't believe you!" She cried.
"I- I'm sorry, it was a one time thing, I- I was angry." He said as he quickly got dressed, the other woman rushing out of the office, her dress inside out.
He walked over to her and held the top her arms.
"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me!" She screamed as she pushed him away.
"Meredith please." He begged.
"Stay away from me, I want you out. We're over." She cried as she threw the box of doughnuts at him.
She walked out and drove home quickly, sobs still racking her body. She arrived at her home and ran straight past Derek and into the bathroom and she began to throw up. This was her fault.