She couldn't stop being sick. Every time she thought she'd finished, another wave washed over her, she didn't even realise that Derek had ran after here and was holding her hair back because her body was shaking with so much anger and betrayal. Her tears mixed with her vomit in the toilet and she couldn't stop them, she didn't know how to.
"Your okay." Derek's voice brought her back into the present and she felt him running her back before another wave of sick flooded her.
"I- I- I can't." She cried struggling to get her breath.
"Breathe Mer." He soothed her and waited for her sobs to subside.
"M-me-meds." She gasped out.
He barely understood her but he caught it at the last minute.
"Are they in the cupboard?" He asked quickly and watched as she nodded.
He opened the small door and glanced at the contents to find the small bottle, he found them and tipped two out before handing her them. He couldn't quite believe that she still took medication for her anxiety, he always just assumed that it got better with age, clearly he was wrong as he watched the scene in front of him.
A few moments later she fell against the wall, the wall supporting her body.
"Thank you." She breathed out heavily.
"It's fine. Are you okay Mer?" He asked gently.
"I'm fine. I'll be fine." She said closing her eyes.
"Meredith you don't have to lie to me, let me help you." He tilted his head.
"No." She shook her head.
"Meredith this isn't helping, something is clearly bothering you to the point you made yourself sick. Talk to me." He sighed as he sat next to her.
She was silent for a few minutes.
"He cheated on me. I walked in on him cheating on me." She said quietly.
"He what?" Derek quickly turned his head to her.
"I walked in on him having sex with someone who wasn't me, someone he works with." She sighed and leaned her head against him.
"Meredith I'm so sorry." He muttered.
"Not your fault." She breathed.
"I know, I'm just sorry. How could he.." he stopped himself.
"I- I'm so stupid." She lifted her head from his shoulder and banged it against the wall.
"Hey, hey. He pulled her closer, "your not stupid, he's the idiot."
"Yet I'm the one who got screwed... and I don't mean the good kind." She scoffed.
"I don't know what to say." He admitted.
"It's fine. You should go, Addison is probably waiting for you." She sighed as she picked her head up.
"No, I can't just leave you like this." He said sadly.
"Like what? I'm fine Derek." She sniffed and stood up putting on her best brave face.
"Meredith." He sighed.
"I'll be okay Derek, just go. I'm just gonna go to bed." She smiled even if it was fake.
"Are you sure?" He asked as they stood up.
"Yeah."
"Okay." He nodded reluctantly and grabbed his coat from the coat stand by the door.
"Call me if you need anything or need any help with Ellyse." He smiled as he approached the door.
"I will." She nodded.
"Are you sure your gonna be okay?" He asked once more.
"Derek, I'm not your problem anymore." She told him.
"Your not a problem Meredith." He argued back.
"Please, just go." She sighed fighting back her tears.
"Okay." He opened the door.
"Goodnight Meredith." He stepped out.
"Bye." She muttered and watched the door close.
She stood there and when the door clicked the flood gates opened and the sobs took over her body. She sat on her knees, her hand covering her mouth to mute the sobs leaving her body, she didn't want to wake up the girl sleeping down the corridor. Never would she have expected that he was cheating on her but now it made sense, all the late nights 'working late', the secret phone calls, the sudden need to go to work, all the signs were there and she was too stupid to put them together.
Everyone she ever loved had hurt her so what was the point? What was the point in love if it all ended in misery and heart ache? She had no sight of a successful relationship, even her own parents marriage had failed. She wrapped her other arm around her stomach as she let it all out, that's what she needed to do. Slowly, she picked herself up off the ground and made her way to her her room, the room she shared with Scott, she undressed and got into bed, her head facing the side her slept on, his smell filling her senses. She turned around to face the window not being able to take it anymore and after a while, she cried herself to sleep.
The next morning, her daughter woke her up at 7am, she hated Derek for passing down the early bird gene. When Ellyse entered her moms bedroom, she climbed in next to her and turned on the tv using the remote. She didn't want to wake her mom but she had no idea how to change the channel so she lightly tapped her shoulder.
"Momma." She whispered.
"Momma... mommy." She whispered again. Meredith's eyes opened slowly and she turned around to see the smile of her daughter.
"Hey baby girl." She muttered tiredly.
"Morning mommy." She giggled.
"Mommy?" She asked again as Meredith closed her eyes again.
"Yeah?" She said.
"Can you put peppa on?" She mumbled.
"Sure, come here." Meredith yawned as she sat up to change the channel. Once it was on she pulled Ellyse closer to her under the cover and drifted off again as her daughter laid happily next to her watching her favourite tv show, peppa pig.
A few hours later, Meredith was awoken by the slam of the door, she felt Ellyse tense up quickly in her arms.
"Shh, it's okay." Meredith whispered into her ear although she was scared herself.
"Mommy." She whimpered.
"Mommy's gonna go check okay, stay here." She kissed her head.
She slowly got up out of bed and peeked around the door to see if she could see anything, she couldn't so she proceeded to walk carefully down the corridor, until she got to the door on the other end. She heard another bang and opened the door slowly to see Scott stumbling across the room. He was clearly drunk.
"You have got to be kidding me." Meredith said harshly.
"Meredith!" Scott cheered.
"Seriously? Seriously!" Meredith hissed.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She snapped.
"I live here." He looked at her like she was an idiot.
"Not after last night you don't. We're done."
"Oh come on Meredith, it was a one time thing." He scoffed.
"What?" She frowned, was he serious?
"We were fighting." He rolled his eyes as he stumbled in his feet.
"So if I told you I slept with Derek last night you wouldn't be mad, because we were fighting?" she joked.
"You slept with Derek?" He straightened up.
"But it's fine because we were fighting right?" She frowned and feigned confusion, he just looked at her.
"Of course I didn't." She said but he shouted at the same time.
"You whore!" He shouted and without thinking he hit her.
Meredith gasped and held her hand to her face, she lifted her head and watched his eyes widen in realisation at what he just done. He hit her. He actually hit her.
"Meredith, I'm so sorry. I- I didn't mean it." Hs apologises quickly stepping towards her.
"Don't." She held her hand up.
"Meredith please, let me see your okay." He pleaded.
"I'll be okay once you leave." She said, "just go, I don't want to see you again."
"I'm so sorry." He cried.
"Scott, leave. Now. We're done." She repeated.
He hung his head and quickly ran out of the apartment. She was in shock that he hit her, especially after him telling her to be careful around Derek. She grabbed herself some water and went back into the bedroom to her daughter.
"Everything's good sweetie." She said as Ellyse cuddled into her side.
"It's just the two of us now." She whispered and kissed her head.