As she stood there, she sympathised with Meredith, she remembered all the times she was in the position she was, the only difference once she had a husband to help her through it were as this young girl had no one. She watched as the sobs racked her body, her breathing becoming too heavy for her tiny body to carry, she walked in and sat next to her, rubbing her back.
"Shh, breathe Meredith, okay, just breathe."
She just cried and Carolyn waited until she was ready, until then she just comforted her.
"I'm sorry." Meredith hiccuped.
"You don't have to apologise." She smiled.
"Everything's just too much." A tear rolled down her face.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, I get it, motherhood is hard and it's not suppose to be perfect Meredith."
"She's never been sick like this before and I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to make it stop for her."
"She'll be better tomorrow, she's just having a bad day."
"I know that but I just panic, I panic that I'm on my own here and what if something happens and i freeze." She cried.
"Oh Meredith, your stressing yourself out, you need to put less pressure on yourself to be able to do this."
"I know. I just hate seeing her in pain and feeling so helpless, she's my little girl, I'd do anything for her." She finally looked up at Carolyn.
"I know you would Meredith but you need to look after yourself in order to do that. You look absolutely exhausted dear." she looked at her with concern.
"I know, I feel awful, we've been up all night."
"I know. It's good to see you Meredith, you've grown up beautifully." She smiled as she hugged her.
"I- I thought you'd hate me." Meredith gasped.
"I could never hate you, your the mother of my grandchild, I might not agree with your choices but I'm not one to make you question them." she knew that all Meredith needed in this moment was support, so that's what she was giving her.
"I know what I did was wrong, what I did to Derek was wrong but I was so hurt by what he did and I was irrational and hormonal and a complete bitch." She sighed.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me Meredith, if Derek's judgement has forgiven you then I can too, he hurt you too, this wasn't just your fault and I was so disappointed in what he did to you because you didn't deserve that." She shook her head as she remembered.
Meredith smiled at her, "none of this was fair to you either and I'm sorry for that."
Carolyn nodded her head gratefully.
"So, you go and get in the bath or have a shower, get more like yourself and then you can tell me all about my granddaughter." Carolyn laughed.
"I'd like that. Thank you Carolyn." She smiled appreciatively.
"You don't need to thank me dear, now go." She told her and smiled as she watched the bathroom door close and heard the shower turn off. She would be okay.
She walked back into the living room and saw Derek sitting on the sofa with his sleeping daughter across his lap scratching her back gently, he had the same thing done to him as a child and he loved it. She never thought she would get to see the chance of Derek with his daughter but she was grateful that she now had because out of what she'd seen so far, he was a wonderful father.
"Is she okay?" Derek whispered as he saw his mom watching him.
"Yeah, she's going to be fine. That girl puts far too much pressure on herself." She sighed sitting next to Derek and Ellyse.
"I know, she always has." He laughed sadly.
"I think she just needs support, you know she hasn't spoke to Ellis since she was 18." Derek told his mom.
"Then you need to be there and give her support Derek, this is your child too."
"I have been mom, I've been spending so much time here that my relationship with Addison is in ruins at the minute, she can't seem to accept the fact that I forgave Mer." He shifted.
"This is an adjustment for her too, just be considerate of that." She smiled.
"I have been but when she refuses to call my daughter by her name and refers to her as 'the kid' it makes it difficult." He ran his fingers through his hair.
"She says that?" Carolyn frowned in shock.
"Yeah." He mumbled.
Meredith got herself ready and dressed in some comfortable sweats and shortly after she was back in the living room, her blonde hair was washed and the natural wave that sat in it lay across her shoulder, she felt a lot better now that she had freshened up. She took her anxiety medication because she couldn't let herself get that stressed again, it wasn't good for her or her daughter, who needed her.
"She doesn't feel warm anymore." Derek said as he felt her forehead.
"No?" Meredith asked.
"No, and she's been asleep for a while."
"Good, that's good." She sighed in relief.
"Here's some coffee dear." Carolyn walked in from the kitchen.
"Oh, thank you Carolyn, you didn't need to do that." She smiled.
"It's okay dear. You look much better."
"Yeah, I feel it." Meredith laughed.
"I'm sorry, I guess everything just got to me all at once." She said swirling the coffee around.
"Mer it's okay, I'm here to help you whenever you need it, you don't have to apologise, we get it." Derek said and rested his hand on hers as he looked at her.
Meredith didn't say anything as they looked at each other. Carolyn watched the two of them and smiled slightly at the clear love they still had for one another, if anyone else was in the room they would also be able to see it, the only people who couldn't were Meredith and Derek.
"You should probably go home to Addison, I've got it from here." She said breaking the moment.
"I don't want to leave you here on your own again Meredith." Derek sighed.
"It's okay, she looks like she's feeling better and Addison already doesn't want you around me, I don't want to come between you two."
"It's fine Mer." He told her.
"No, you two are already fighting because of me, please just don't make it worse. Alex has offered to come round so i won't be alone." She smiled.
"Alex?" Carolyn asked curiously.
"He's my best friend from college, he's been there with me through everything." Meredith nodded.
An hour later Derek had agreed to go home and now it was just Meredith and Ellyse, they both slept in Meredith's bed again.
"Well, well, well, look who's here." He heard when he walked through his apartment door. He looked back to his mom who's eyebrows were raised.
"Can you wait here for a minute please?" He asked her.
"Sure." She nodded.
When he walked into the living room there was Addison sat, a bottle of wine on the table and a box of tissues. She turned around and it was obvious she had been crying.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he sat next to her.
"You. Your what's wrong!" She snapped.
"Addison we need to figure this out." He sighed.
"It seems to me that it's already figured out, you don't even pay attention to me anymore, we don't have our date nights, god Derek I can't even remember the last time we had sex." She shouted.
"That's what this is about, sex?" He snapped.
"No it's not about sex, it's about the fact that you have no time in your life for me anymore! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel, how I feel having to watch you spend all your time with your ex and your child!" Tears rolled down her face.
"I'm sorry if you feel that way Addison but I want to spend time with my child, I don't know what you want me to do?" He ran his hand over his stubble.
"I want you to choose." She told him.
"What?" He was in shock.
"I want you to choose me or her because I can't do this anymore, I won't let you do this to me anymore." She cried.
He pulled her into a hug out of habit, he did love her, he really did and it pained him to see her hurt especially when he was the one who caused the hurt.
"No, don't." She pulled away from him.
"Choose." She said sadly.
"I can't choose Addie." He looked at her pleadingly.
"Well you have to."
He looked at her eyes to see if this was some cruel joke but it wasn't.
"Fine, I choose my daughter. I will always choose my daughter." He told her nodding his head.
"I hate you." She shouted as she got up.
Derek's head fell into his hands as she stomped around the bedroom crying, he forgot about his mother until he felt her hand on his shoulder.
"Ma." He sighed.
"You did the right thing Derek." She assured him.
"I know."
"Go to hell Derek, I mean it go to he-" she stopped when she saw Carolyn.
She looked at her and then back to Derek and shook her head, "unbelievable!" she shouted and slammed the front door.
"What a bitch." Carolyn mumbled.