two weeks later

Meredith and Alex were on their way to the zoo with Ellyse, she had a busy day because this evening she was also going to Alex and Jo's engagement party in the local bar that they'd rented out for the evening. He had proposed the night of the intern mixer so they had had an exciting two weeks. Derek had offered to mind Ellyse for the night whilst she was at the party because as much as he loved spending time as a family, he wanted a chance to bond with his daughter alone which Meredith completely understood and accepted his offer.

"Are we nearly there yet?" Ellyse asked from the back.

"Nearly bean, 5 more minutes." Alex smiled in the rear mirror.

Meredith giggled, "you really need to stop calling her bean."

"Why, that's what she is, aren't you bean?" He laughed.

"Yeah I'm a bean mommy. Alex's best bean." She smiled widely.

"Sure is." He nodded laughing as they turned into the parking lot.

"Ells look at the giraffes behind the gate." Meredith pointed out.

"Where mommy! Where?" She asked excitedly.

"Over there look... can you see them?"

"Yeah! There big!" She giggled.

"I know." Meredith smiled.

They quickly got out of the car, Meredith grabbing the picnic bag that they had packed whilst Alex put Ellyse on his shoulders.

"I'm taller than you mommy." Ellyse stuck out her tongue.

"Well if your all the way up there and I can't reach you, then you can't have any cookies." She teased her daughter.

"Oh, uhm.." Ellyse thought carefully, "I'll come down when we eat cookies!" She exclaimed.

"Traitor." Alex laughed.

"Are you excited for tonight?" Meredith turned to Alex as they waited in line for their tickets.

"Yeah, I actually am. I still can't believe she said yes."

"Me either, how you got her I have no idea." She joked.

"I'm just that good." He winked.

"Alex!" She elbowed him.

"What?" He laughed.

"You kiss my child with that mouth! The child that is present right now." She smiled.

"Calm down momma bear, she doesn't know what we're talking about." He chuckled.

"Your such an ass." She whispered.

"Hey, hey language." He teased.

She sucked her teeth and shook her head at him trying to stifle a laugh, he really was her best friend and she trusted him with her life. They slowly got to the front of the line and paid for their tickets before setting off on the trail that took them around the zoo. Ellyse was sitting high on Alex's shoulders for pretty much the whole time expect when she was in the park. As they walked round she pointed out all the animals and they watched the zoo keeps feed the elephants which she found hilarious.

"Mommy, can't we eat sanwiches now." she said struggling to say the word.

Alex laughed at her before bending down to let her slip off his shoulders.

"Course we can, are you hungry?" She asked as she picked her up and walked over to a picnic bench.

"Yeah." Ellyse said quietly.

They all sat down and Meredith got Ellyse's food out quickly before taking the rest out. She gave her an orange juice box and put a tub of raspberry cookies in the middle before getting a pasta out for herself and Alex. She smiled as she watched her daughter start eating.

"Is your sandwich nice Ells?" She asked.

"Yep, it's really yummy mommy." She looked up shoving more bread into her tiny mouth.

"That's because your mommy didn't make them." Alex whispered to her and the little girl started to giggle.

"I heard that." she said trying not to smile.

"Auntie Jo makes better sandwiches than mommy, right bean?" He teased.

"Sorry mommy." The little girl said as she nodded her head. Meredith feigned hurt.

"But your cookies are the best!" Ellyse reasoned with a smile.

"I knew she'd say that." Alex said as he opened the tub.

Shortly after, they'd been around the whole zoo and Ellyse was back on top of Alex's shoulders except this time she was asleep, the day had really worn her out. They found the exit to the park and walked to her car.

"Let me get her." Meredith said as she pulled her daughter off his shoulders.

She stirred and breathed out, a small smile appearing on her face as she slept, Meredith kissed her cheek and slowly placed her in her car seat before closing the door quietly and getting into the drivers seat.

"What time will you be there tonight then?" Alex asked her quietly.

"Probably around 7, I have to drop her with Derek but she needs dinner before she goes."

"Okays. So, what's going on with you and him?" He looked over.

"Me and Derek?" She replied.

"He's the baby daddy." He nodded.

"I had no idea." She rolled her eyes at him.

"So?" He asked again.

"Nothing, there's nothing going on between us, he's been getting to know Ellyse." She sighed.

"Do you what something to go between the two of you?" He raised his eyebrows.

"What? No! Why would you say that?" She frowned as she replied quickly.

"Because when you talk about him you look sad, Mer." He said quietly.

"I don't. Me and Derek we're... I don't know what we are but we're over and it's going to stay that way. We hurt each other and I don't want to go through that again, I have my daughter to worry about."

"Things could be different if your tried again, he'd be there for Ells more too."

"Alex, don't try and use my daughter to get in the middle of this. Everything is fine just the way it is and it's going to stay that way so just drop it, okay?" She slightly snapped.

Alex just nodded knowingly, he watched her quietly and could see the thoughts on her face, she was confused about the whole situation and he could tell. He didn't know much about their past relationship other than what broke them apart but he knew that Meredith definitely still had feelings for him, she just needed to figure out how to express them.

"Okay, so bed at 8, she'll tell you it's 10 but it's not, it's 8. She can have one glass of warm milk before she goes to bed and she takes water in a sippy cup with her in case she gets thirsty through the night." Meredith breathed.

"Got it. Anything else?" Derek smiled as they stood in the living room in his apartment.

"No thats- that's everything." She sighed as she looked at her feet in her strappy silver heels.

"You look gorgeous, by the way." Derek sighed as he took her in.

"Oh, thank you." She smiled awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hmm." He muttered as he stepped closer to her.

They were quickly sharing the same air as their faces were just inches apart, she didn't know how it happened but she was sure that he had made the first move. She watched his face bow and quickly their lips met. It was soft, gentle, like they would do it everyday for the rest of their lives. She hesitated but it all quickly left her body as he deepened the kiss. Quickly everything registered and she panicked, pulling away from his quickly and nervously meeting his eyes.

"That shouldn't- we- I should go, I have to go." She said quickly stepping to the door.

"Meredith's, wait." He stopped her. She turned around slowly to face him.

"There's still something between us." He pushed a stray piece of her behind her ear.

"Derek- no, I cant." She shook her head.

"Mer, look at me." He said gently his finger under her chin. Hesitantly, she looked up.

Their eyes locked and he gave her his dreamy smile, the smile that she fell for 5 years.

"I-" she whispered.

"Meredith, I still love you, I never stopped loving you." He admitted.

"Derek, we can't, this isn't fair on Ellyse." She sighed looking down again, she couldn't keep eye contact because deep down, she knew she wanted this.

He pushed her chin back up.

"I'm not pressuring you into anything Meredith, just think about what it could mean. I still love you and I want a future with you, your the one for me." He smiled gently and watched as she had tears in her eyes.

"You look stunning, enjoy your night." He said kissing her forehead gently and feeling her lean into him. She nodded her head and stayed glued to his chest for a few moments before she pulled away. She leaned in and kissed him again.

This time she was the one who deepened the kiss, her tongue running softly along his lip before meeting his tongue. His hand held the side of her face gently and her hands laid comfortably on his chest. The movement of his fingers on her face sent shivers through her body and she moaned lightly into his mouth before pulling away to catch her breath.

"I need to go." She said quietly.

"You do." He nodded. The silence was awkward.

"We'll talk. I promise." She smiled before walking out of the apartment and closing the door behind her.

Derek fell into the couch running his hands through his hair. He loved her. He loved Meredith Grey with all his heart and ever since he met her at 17, he had. He didn't know what this all meant but something was changing between them, something that would alter their life hopefully for the better, but she was right, Ellyse was now apart of this and they couldn't be selfish with her. They had a lot to talk about before moving forward.

Meredith arrived to the party quietly, part of her still stuck in a haze from what had just happened. She was confused and she didn't know what she wanted to do, he said he loved her, he loved her still after everything and she couldn't bring herself to say it back. She knew she felt something for him but she wasn't sure if it was still love or whether it was something she felt she owed to him. She needed to sit down and figure it out for herself first, but before she could do that she needed a drink.

She sat down next to Charlotte and ordered a tequila, it quickly arrived and she tipped it back quickly, putting the glass back on the bar upside down before ordering another one. Charlotte ordered the same and as the hours went by they found themselves tipsy, and more tipsy.