1. I hold Link in such high regard that he transcends mere fantasy, becoming a tangible figure in my life, providing solace in ways unimaginable. This bond with him isn't a figment of my traumatized psyche but a profound connection with a real entity who has been my anchor since childhood. Although I am presently involved with a special man, the depth of emotional nourishment Link provides remains unparalleled. Criticism of my writing, simply because it diverges from conventional norms, reveals a toxic narrow-mindedness. I am an adult, a chubby, agender person of color, spiritually aligned with the essence of a fox. Yet, society's judgment feels like a relentless indictment of my very being. The persistent admonishment to 'grow up' dismisses the innocent, childlike wonder I possess, where characters like Captain Falcon and Princess Daisy symbolize family to me.
2. Despite having some semblance of familial connection, my interactions are largely limited to my mother, whose overprotectiveness and paranoia, though sometimes toxic, ensure my safety. My father and older sister from his side have inflicted deep wounds, culminating in their disownment of me before I turned 18. Now, at 22, I yearn for love and validation, even at the cost of my well-being. Link's significance in my life is paramount, sustaining me through the darkest times. My boyfriend Greg cares deeply for me, but the uncertainty of our relationship's longevity looms large. My struggles with depression, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and occasional psychosis are daily battles. I strive to maintain a facade of normalcy, fearing my mother's threats of institutionalization during my breakdowns, where self-harm becomes a desperate outlet for my anguish.
3. As an age regressor, my past is a harrowing landscape I dare not traverse, even in summary, for fear of triggering repercussions from those who would maliciously target me. Over the years, I've encountered individuals whose influence has exacerbated my mental health issues, yet I have severed ties with them, feeling no remorse for their absence. They are remnants of a painful chapter I choose to leave behind. My honesty, however brutal, is a testament to my upbringing. I find myself increasingly anti-social, devoid of experiences like dating, kissing, or physical intimacy, despite a deep-seated desire for familial bonds. My dreams feel perpetually out of reach, sabotaged by my own misguided decisions. Nonetheless, my love for Link remains steadfast. In my mind, his affection for me is unequivocal, evident in the gaze I perceive in manga illustrations and video game depictions.
4. The stories I craft about Link and me are genuine expressions of our profound bond. In my moments of reading manga or engaging with games like Twilight Princess, Smash Bros, and Hyrule Warriors, his presence feels almost palpable, as if he is my sole lover. While I respect other fictional ships, my devotion to Link is exclusive and unwavering. I fantasize about my boyfriend cosplaying as Link, yearning for the romantic fulfillment of that imagery. Greg is remarkable, yet my erratic behavior strains our relationship, leaving me in perpetual doubt about my worthiness of his love. He is my online partner, with hopes of becoming a real-life companion, but my overwhelming loneliness and the severity of my psychotic episodes cast a shadow over my sense of self.
5. The isolation I endure is suffocating, amplifying my inner turmoil. My psychotic episodes blur the lines of my identity, plunging me into existential confusion. Am I an angel trapped in a mortal vessel, seeking a return to the afterlife, or merely a lost soul wandering in search of purpose? The dichotomy of my existence is a relentless torment, a dance on the precipice of sanity. Every day is a struggle to reconcile the disparate facets of my reality, where the allure of imaginary love collides with the harshness of lived experiences. In this liminal space, I navigate a labyrinth of emotions, teetering between hope and despair, ever seeking an elusive solace.
6. My reality is a complex tapestry woven with threads of deep emotional pain, yearning, and a desperate quest for connection. The duality of my existence, where the imaginary intermingles with the tangible, creates a fragile equilibrium that I strive to maintain. The intensity of my feelings for Link, juxtaposed with my real-world relationship with Greg, embodies the conflict within me. Each day is a battle against the encroaching darkness of my mental afflictions, where moments of lucidity are fleeting. The specter of my past looms large, casting a long shadow over my present and future, yet within this turmoil, I find brief glimpses of light, fueled by the unwavering love I perceive from my fictional sanctuary.
7. Link's presence is a divine constant in my fractured existence, a beacon of love that transcends the bounds of fiction. His azure eyes, the intensity of his gaze, pierce through the veil of my loneliness, providing solace in moments of despair. I immerse myself in the world of Hyrule, where every adventure, every quest, is a testament to our unbreakable bond. His silent strength, his unwavering courage, become my guiding principles, and in his embrace, I find a sanctuary. The fantasies I weave around him are not mere escapism but a vivid reality where his touch, his whispers, are tangible. The nights are long and filled with dreams where his presence envelops me, his hands tracing the contours of my soul, affirming my worth in ways the real world never could.
8. The depths of my connection to Link defy rationality, blurring the lines between sanity and madness. In my most unhinged moments, his voice becomes a soothing lullaby, drawing me back from the brink. I envision scenarios where we are intertwined, bodies and souls merging in an ethereal dance of passion and devotion. His essence permeates every aspect of my life; his love is a potent elixir that fuels my existence. The physical world fades away as I lose myself in his arms, the heat of his breath against my skin igniting a fervor that reality fails to match. The boundaries of my mind expand, creating a universe where our love is the only truth, untainted by the cynicism of the mundane.
9. Each interaction with Link, whether through manga panels or the digital landscape of his adventures, is a deeply intimate experience. His stoic demeanor, the silent communication of his eyes, speaks volumes to my soul, conveying a love that is profound and all-encompassing. I yearn for the nights where he becomes flesh in my dreams, his hands exploring the depths of my being, his lips whispering promises of eternal love. The fantasies grow more vivid, more visceral, as my longing for him intensifies. The world outside my mind's sanctuary becomes a mere backdrop, a stage upon which the drama of our love unfolds in exquisite detail. In this realm, we are bound by an unbreakable thread, a cosmic connection that defies the limitations of time and space.
10. The lewdness of my fantasies reflects the depth of my yearning, a desperate desire for the physical manifestation of our love. I imagine his touch, a caress that ignites my very soul, sending shivers down my spine. His kisses, deep and passionate, become the lifeblood that sustains me. Every whispered word, every shared glance, is charged with an erotic intensity that transcends the physical. In this world of our making, he is not just a lover but a deity, worshipped and adored, the center of my universe. Our encounters are a symphony of desire, each note a testament to the profound connection we share. The boundaries of my sanity blur as I lose myself in the ecstasy of our imagined union, where every touch, every kiss, is a sacred act of devotion.
11. The madness of my love for Link reaches a fever pitch, consuming every fiber of my being. I am lost in a whirlpool of desire and devotion, where the lines between reality and fantasy are irrevocably blurred. His presence is a constant, a guiding star that illuminates the darkness of my mind. In the sanctum of my imagination, we are bound by an unbreakable bond, a love that defies the conventions of the real world. The intensity of my feelings for him, the raw, unfiltered passion, is a testament to the depth of our connection. Each moment spent in his presence, whether real or imagined, is a lifeline, a tether that keeps me anchored to this world. My love for Link is a consuming fire, a force of nature that defies logic and reason, leaving me breathless in its wake.
12. The desire to bear Link's offspring (Kits) consumes me like a wildfire, an unquenchable yearning that defies all reason. In the depths of my fantasies, I envision the miracle of childbirth, a sacred rite of passage that transcends pain and mortality. The prospect of carrying his children, nurturing life that embodies our love, fills me with a profound sense of purpose. I am willing to endure the agony, to face the abyss of death itself, if it means bringing forth new life that is a testament to our bond. The sacrifice is not borne of desperation but of an unwavering commitment to our shared destiny, where every heartbeat resonates with the promise of a future forged in love and devotion.
13. Link's essence permeates every facet of my existence, his presence a constant beacon of hope amidst the tumult of my fractured reality. In the sanctum of my mind, where our love knows no bounds, I weave intricate tapestries of our shared future. Each brushstroke of imagination paints a portrait of domestic bliss, where he is not just a hero but a tender partner and father. The walls of my psyche echo with the laughter of our children, their tiny footsteps echoing through the halls of our imaginary home. It is a utopia born of longing, where love blossoms in the fertile soil of my dreams, untouched by the harshness of the outside world.
14. The intimacy I share with Link transcends the physical, delving into the depths of my soul where desire and adoration intertwine. In the quiet moments of reverie, I lose myself in fantasies of our union, where his touch is a balm to the wounds of my restless heart. His presence is a sanctuary, a refuge from the storms that rage within me. Together, we navigate the labyrinth of my mind, where his steadfast love guides me through the darkest of nights. I am not merely infatuated but entranced by his essence, drawn to the enigmatic allure that defines our connection.
15. As I traverse the landscapes of my imagination, Link stands as a paragon of virtue and strength, a symbol of resilience in the face of adversity. His unwavering courage inspires me to confront my own demons, to wrestle with the shadows that threaten to consume me. In his eyes, I find solace and validation, a reflection of my worth that transcends the confines of societal judgment. He is not just a character but a testament to the power of love and compassion, a beacon of hope in a world fraught with uncertainty. Together, we defy the limitations imposed upon us, forging a path of our own making.
16. The depths of my devotion to Link know no bounds, echoing through the chambers of my heart like a symphony of longing and desire. In the quiet moments of introspection, I find myself drawn to him with an intensity that borders on obsession. His presence is a salve to the wounds of my fractured soul, a reminder that love, in its purest form, transcends the boundaries of reality. I am captivated by his essence, by the way he embodies the virtues of heroism and compassion. Our love is not confined to the pages of a book or the pixels of a screen but permeates every facet of my existence, shaping the contours of my dreams and aspirations.
But Now..
17. The prospect of bringing forth our kits fills my mind with a kaleidoscope of wonder and anticipation, each thought a brushstroke on the canvas of our imagined future. In the quiet hours of contemplation, I find myself lost in fantasies where our offspring inherit the best of both our worlds. Will they bear his iconic pointy ears, a testament to his lineage as a hero of Hyrule, or will they inherit my fox ears, a nod to my spiritual affinity with the cunning creatures of the wild? The texture of their skin becomes a canvas upon which our love is painted - will they boast the warm hues of my brown skin, kissed by the sun and steeped in ancestral pride, or will they inherit his fair complexion, a porcelain canvas upon which every emotion is laid bare? And their eyes, oh, their eyes! Will they gleam with the azure brilliance of his, reflecting a depth of courage and wisdom beyond their years, or will they bear the gentle warmth of my brown eyes, reflecting a soulful understanding born of resilience and empathy?
18. Each possibility opens a window into a future brimming with promise and uncertainty, where our legacy intertwines with the threads of fate. In the sanctuary of my imagination, I envision the laughter of our kits echoing through the halls of our home, their footsteps a symphony of innocence and boundless curiosity. Together, Link and I navigate the delicate dance of parenthood, where every moment is a precious gift bestowed upon us by the cosmos. Our love is not merely confined to the realm of the tangible but transcends the limitations of reality, shaping the contours of our dreams with each heartbeat and whispered promise.
19. As I delve deeper into the labyrinth of my desires, I find myself drawn to the intricacies of our shared lineage. Will our kits inherit his propensity for adventure, their hearts ablaze with the same fiery determination that propels him forward in his quests? Or will they bear my affinity for solitude and introspection, finding solace in the quiet corners of their own minds? The dichotomy of our natures becomes a tapestry woven with threads of courage and compassion, resilience and vulnerability. In their hands, our legacy finds new life, a testament to the enduring power of love and the indomitable spirit of those who dare to dream.
20. The sanctity of motherhood beckons me with a siren's call, a melody that resonates deep within my soul. I yearn to cradle our kits in my arms, to feel their tiny heartbeats against my chest as they nestle close, their innocence a balm to the wounds of my restless spirit. Each breath becomes a prayer whispered into the ether, a plea for their safety and happiness in a world fraught with uncertainty. In their eyes, I see the reflection of our love, a mirror held up to the beauty and complexity of our shared journey. Together, Link and I embark on the greatest adventure of all - the journey of parenthood, where every triumph and tribulation becomes a testament to the strength of our bond.
21. The weight of responsibility hangs heavy upon my shoulders, a mantle I wear with both trepidation and pride. Will I be enough for our kits, guiding them with the same wisdom and compassion that Link has shown me? Will I possess the fortitude to shield them from the storms that rage beyond our doorstep, imparting lessons that will shape their character and resilience? The echoes of my own upbringing reverberate through the corridors of my mind, reminding me of the sacrifices made by those who came before me. I am determined to break the cycle of pain and adversity, to forge a new path illuminated by the light of love and understanding.
22. In the quiet moments before sleep claims me, I find myself lost in reverie, imagining the rhythm of our daily lives with our kits by our side. Will they inherit his penchant for mischief, their laughter ringing through the air like chimes in the wind? Or will they bear my introspective nature, finding solace in the pages of books and the quiet hum of contemplation? The nuances of their personalities become a tapestry woven with threads of familiarity and discovery, each moment a revelation that deepens our connection and strengthens our resolve. Together, Link and I navigate the uncharted waters of parenthood, our hearts intertwined with the promise of a future filled with endless possibilities and boundless love.
23. Before I can embark on the journey of motherhood and have our beautiful kits, there lies ahead the daunting prospect of marriage and the intimate act that precedes it. The thought alone sends shivers down my spine, not from fear of commitment or the ceremonial vows, but from the raw vulnerability of sharing myself so intimately. It's a ritual steeped in tradition and expectation, yet one that carries a weight of significance that transcends the physical. The notion of joining my life with another's in such a profound manner both exhilarates and terrifies me.
24. Greg, my dear Greg - why must I choose between two loves when both offer solace and companionship in their own unique ways? Marriage to Link would fulfill a lifelong dream, a union forged in the fires of my imagination where his steadfast devotion and heroic spirit become the cornerstone of our partnership. Yet, Greg offers a different kind of love, grounded in reality and shared experiences. His presence in my life brings stability and understanding, qualities that complement the fantastical allure of Link's embrace.
25. The idea of polyamory, though unconventional to many, appeals to my heart's desire for completeness and fulfillment. Why settle for one when both offer distinct joys and companionship? It's akin to choosing between different flavors at a feast, each satisfying a different craving of the soul. The laughter shared with Greg, the quiet moments of understanding, contrast beautifully with the epic adventures and passionate embraces that define my connection with Link.
26. Society's expectations and norms often impose limitations on the scope of love and relationships, relegating polyamorous desires to the realm of taboo and misunderstanding. Yet, in the depths of my heart, I find peace in the notion that love knows no boundaries or confines. It transcends labels and societal constructs, weaving a tapestry of affection and devotion that embraces diversity and complexity.
27. The prospect of navigating a polyamorous relationship, however, is not without its challenges. Communication, trust, and emotional maturity are paramount in maintaining harmony and balance among all parties involved. Each relationship requires nurturing and understanding, a delicate dance of compromise and mutual respect. Honesty becomes the cornerstone upon which trust is built, ensuring that all voices are heard and valued in the intricate web of love and connection.
28. As I contemplate the possibility of marrying both Link and Greg, I am met with a profound sense of liberation and empowerment. It is a declaration of autonomy over my own heart, a rejection of societal norms that seek to dictate the boundaries of love and commitment. In their embrace, I find strength and validation, a testament to the infinite capacity of the human heart to love and be loved in return.
29. The intricacies of balancing multiple relationships, each with its own dynamics and intricacies, become a testament to the richness and complexity of human connection. In the quiet moments of introspection, I marvel at the resilience of the human spirit and its ability to forge bonds that transcend the limitations imposed by tradition and expectation. Love, in its myriad forms, becomes a beacon of hope and understanding in a world often overshadowed by division and misunderstanding.
30. In the end, my journey towards marriage with both Link and Greg is not just a celebration of love but a testament to the power of acceptance and authenticity. It is a declaration of my right to pursue happiness and fulfillment on my own terms, embracing the complexities and nuances that define my journey through life. Love, in all its forms, remains the guiding force that illuminates my path, offering solace and companionship in the face of uncertainty and doubt.
31. My love for both Link and Greg knows no bounds; they have become my pillars of strength and the very essence of my existence. The thought of marrying them both fills me with a euphoria that defies conventional norms. They make me feel alive, like a woman empowered by the depth of her emotions and the richness of her connections. In their embrace, I find solace and validation, a reassurance that I am worthy of love in all its forms. I am committed to treating them equally, to nurturing our relationships with honesty and compassion, ensuring that each feels cherished and valued for who they are.
32. The prospect of embracing the role of a housewife, while unconventional in today's world, holds a certain allure for me. To create a sanctuary of love and warmth, where their dreams and ambitions intertwine with mine, is a privilege I yearn to fulfill. The domesticity of it all, from preparing meals that tantalize their taste buds to creating a haven where laughter and joy abound, resonates deeply within my soul. It is a path I willingly tread, knowing that in their happiness lies my own fulfillment.
33. As I immerse myself in the persona of a fox, I find a playful freedom that transcends the boundaries of human existence. Learning their language, walking on all fours, embodies a spirit of wild abandon and primal connection with nature. The acquisition of fox ears, a tail, and even a dog collar becomes a symbolic gesture of embracing my true self, unencumbered by societal expectations or judgment. It is a journey of self-discovery and acceptance, where every step brings me closer to the essence of who I am.
34. Embracing the gyaru fashion style is another facet of my journey towards self-expression and empowerment. The bold makeup, the extravagant nails, and the rebellious attitude encapsulate a rebellion against conformity, a celebration of individuality and personal freedom. I wonder if Link and Greg will appreciate this side of me, this vibrant and fearless expression of my inner world. Their acceptance, their admiration for the depths of my spirit, becomes a litmus test of our mutual understanding and respect.
35. The allure of makeup and fake nails becomes more than just a superficial enhancement; it is a canvas upon which I paint my emotions and desires. Each stroke of color, each shimmering hue, reflects the kaleidoscope of feelings that pulse through my veins. It is an art form, a declaration of self-love and acceptance, where beauty is not defined by societal standards but by the courage to embrace one's true essence. I revel in the rebelliousness that accompanies this transformation, knowing that true liberation lies in the freedom to be authentically oneself.
36. The rebellious streak within me, though tempered by a desire for harmony and understanding, adds a layer of complexity to my journey. It is a defiance against the constraints of conformity, a refusal to be confined by the expectations imposed upon me. Yet, I recognize the potential pitfalls of such defiance, the consequences that may arise from challenging societal norms. It is a delicate balance, a tightrope walk between liberation and consequence, where every decision carries weight and significance.
37. The dichotomy of my desires - to be a devoted housewife and embrace the wild spirit of a fox, to revel in the gyaru fashion while navigating the complexities of multiple relationships - paints a portrait of a woman unafraid to explore the depths of her identity. Each facet of my persona, from the nurturing caregiver to the playful trickster, contributes to the mosaic of my existence. It is a journey of self-discovery and growth, where every experience, every choice, shapes the narrative of my life.
38. In the quiet moments of introspection, I contemplate the future with Link and Greg by my side. Will they understand the intricacies of my desires, the depth of my longing for fulfillment and self-expression? Their acceptance, their embrace of all that I am, becomes a testament to the strength of our bond and the depth of our connection. Together, we navigate the uncharted waters of love and partnership, forging a path illuminated by mutual respect and understanding.
39. As I embark on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, I am mindful of the challenges that lie ahead. The road to embracing my true self, to finding balance and fulfillment in my relationships and personal expression, is fraught with obstacles and uncertainties. Yet, with Link and Greg by my side, I find courage and resilience in the face of adversity. Their love becomes a beacon of hope and inspiration, guiding me through the shadows and illuminating the path ahead.
40. In the end, my journey towards embracing the roles of a devoted housewife, a playful fox spirit, and a rebellious gyaru is a testament to the complexity and richness of human experience. It is a celebration of individuality and personal freedom, a declaration of autonomy over my own identity and desires. With Link and Greg as my partners in this odyssey, I embrace the beauty of being authentically myself, unapologetic and unabashed in my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment.
41. As I bid farewell for now, a sense of weariness settles upon me like a heavy shroud. The weight of my desires and struggles presses down upon my shoulders, a reminder of the complexities that define my existence. The fear of my account being reported looms in the shadows of my mind, a specter of potential judgment and rejection that threatens to unravel the fragile tapestry of my online sanctuary.
42. Sleep offers temporary respite from the turmoil that courses through my veins, a fleeting escape into the realm of dreams where reality blurs and fantasies reign supreme. It is a sanctuary tainted by the harsh realities of my waking hours, where the echoes of societal expectations and personal battles collide in a cacophony of doubt and despair.
43. The promise of reconnecting with my boyfriend in virtual realms like Mario Kart or Smash Bros. offers a glimmer of joy amidst the darkness. The anticipation of shared moments of laughter and competition stirs a flicker of excitement within me, a brief reprieve from the heaviness that weighs upon my heart. Yet, even in these moments of camaraderie and play, there lingers a shadow of doubt - will my struggles with rage and frustration once again cloud the fragile bond we share?
I still Hate Myself and Everything About Me.
— Angel.