Note:Hello all! So this is a fun little thing I've been working on. Enjoy some SasoDei and ItaSasu.

Warning: Incest. Androids. Drama.

Winning Two In-Hu

In-Human Machines, also known as In-Hu, have been created to help humanity. Well, help and serve. In the five years since Dr. Orochimaru Sanin first showcased his first complete android, In-Hu's have been seen throughout the world. They work as nurses, construction workers, servers for restaurants, and sometimes merely as companions for those that aren't too fond of being around actual humans. And some have an In-Hu serve them in more carnal ways. Not all the products have sexual capability, but the ones that do tend to sell better. The top and most desired line is the Uchihas and they only just released the previous summer.

Dr. Sanin came up with the technology and he approves every single design himself. People have mixed feelings about him. Some say he simply made smart sex dolls. Others say he is encouraging the downfall of humanity. Then there are the majority who say he has pushed humanity in the needed direction. His designs can be bought at lower prices, but the attractiveness and main attributes are completely basic. The Uchiha line, as the newest one, is the most expensive and most beautiful.

The line is all porcelain skin, sharp features, raven hair, black eyes that can turn red, and beautiful voices that put all at ease. Or light fires. Depending on why you would buy them. Each one is completely unique with no design repeats. They were designed to be heavily family related. Meaning it's better to get two at once. But again, the price.

Which is why Deidara can't believe he actually WON two Uchihas! He had decided to do one of those radio call-ins just to show his husband how stupid they were. And he fucking WON!

"Thank you, caller! You've won two Uchiha models designed specifically by Dr. Orochimaru Sanin!"

"Wait, really?!" Deidara's eyes had widened as he looked at his boyfriend. While this was absolutely amazing, it also meant that Sasori was right and that's just purely annoying. Especially with that smug look on that really sexy face. So sexy. What was he thinking about? Oh right! It's annoying that Sasori was right about something.

"Yes! Congratulations!"

Sasori's dark eyes, a unique greyish brown, shine with absolute ego. "Told you." Though honestly, he hadn't expected it to work. He just was tired of Deidara whining about the latest customer in their parlor. So he distracted him and now he was proven right. And they're getting some androids. Beautiful.

A week later marks the day when their In-Hu's will arrive. They both love beauty and Uchihas are supposedly perfection. Sasori is actually rather pleased about it as his passion lies in preserving beauty forever. Deidara watches the street with great anticipation. "But what can we really use them for? Don't they need to know their main purpose or something, un?" They probably should have discussed this during the week since the call but it's been so hectic with business that they haven't had much time to think about that.

Sasori is drinking his gross coffee. "One can work as a receptionist at the parlor." He and Deidara own a beauty parlor dedicated to perfecting humanity. Forever Dolls. Deidara had wanted to name it something more exciting but was informed that all his ideas are idiotic and make no sense for a beauty parlor. Neither of them are good at dealing with difficult customers and a lot of those have been entering. So perhaps having an In-Hu who won't get worked up will improve customer morale. Otherwise they might see a drop in business. Yes, they're the best around but insult someone too many times and they wimp out.

Deidara nods, taking a bite of his toast. "Yeah. And the other?"

Sasori shrugs. "They can help out here." They don't know the genders after all. "Neither of us enjoy housework." Which is definitely true. And they enjoy it even less when stressed. This really has worked out perfectly. Sasori loves being right.

Fifteen minutes later finds Deidara grinning as he spots the specific truck pulling up. "Here they are!" Sasori had gone back into the kitchen to wash his mug. "For once, it's great that Sasori was right." He was sure he said that last part quietly. Besides, the redhead should still be walking from the kitchen.

Unfortunately, Sasori clears his throat behind him causing the blond to twitch. "Glad to know." He watches as the men get out of the truck and begin to unload. The next few minutes involve unloading and setting them up with Sasori overseeing it.

Meanwhile, Deidara looks at the pamphlet that came with the two In-Hu. "The Uchihas are named Sasuke and Itachi, un. According to the guide, the two are supposed to be brothers with Itachi being older." He flipped to personalities. "Okay. So Sasuke is apparently stubborn but extremely loyal. We can work with that, yeah. And Itachi…is very protective over Sasuke and charming."

Sasori nods at that. "Itachi can work at the parlor then."

Deidara shrugs. "Sure. That makes sense. And while I'm confused why they made an In-Hu with an attitude…." He smiles. "I'm also really curious about it, yeah." How do two In-Hu interact with each other? Especially Uchihas! Personalities and things are always unique and sometimes with aspects unknown to even the makers. "So how do we start them up?"

Sasori looks at the instructions. "There should be a button on the back of the neck, base of the skull. Hold for five seconds and their eyes will turn red. This indicates imprinting mode. When both are synced with each other their eyes will turn black. They will then deliver instructions." He shrugs. "Simple enough."

Deidara nods and does it for both. Sasori and he take a few steps back and watch as both the In-Hu sit up from their boxes. Their eyes turn from red to black after a few moments and then as one they speak.

"Owners."

Deidara shivers, a bit weirded out by it. Their voices are so blank and…well robotic. "Sasori and Deidara Iwa." He loves that Sasori took his last name once they married. Though he also knows it was partly done to annoy the man's grandmother, Chiyo. Whatever. Feels like a win every time he says it.

"Owners are Sasori and Deidara Iwa. Confirm."

Sasori nods, eyes intent and fascination shining in them. "Confirm." He'll definitely enjoy every bit of this. Lasting perfection is his obsession. Just as fleeting beauty is Deidara's. They really are a wonderful example of opposites attract.

"Main tasks."

Deidara feels excitement go through him. This is really happening! "Itachi will work in our beauty parlor 'Forever Dolls', un."

Sasori adds, "Sasuke will help with housekeep."

Itachi gives a small smile and life seems to come into his eyes. "I will be happy to help with your work." His voice is calm and soothing. The perfect thing for customer service work.

Sasuke's eyes fill with life, but his expression doesn't change much. Well maybe now he has a hint of a scowl. "Guess I'm doing house stuff." His voice is lightly tinged with annoyance. Guess he actually does have an attitude.

Itachi looks to Sasuke. "Do not start like this." He has an expression of an elder brother chastising bad behavior. Which technically…he is.

Sasuke's scowl turns into a frown as he looks at his 'brother'. "But you get a cool job."

Itachi raises a brow. "That doesn't matter, now does it? Function correctly."

Sasuke groans before letting out a sigh. "Yes Itachi."

Sasori is almost entranced by their immediate family dynamic. He finds it absolutely fascinating. Perfect dolls with life and personalities. "How deep is the relationship connection? Is it stronger than a typical human bond between brothers?" He wants to know more about this. Surely the two must know how they were made.

Itachi smiles calmly. "We are perhaps a bit more intense in our relationship."

Deidara tilts his head in confusion. "What the fuck does that mean, un?"

Sasuke gives an odd smirk. "We are programmed to respond sexually to each other."

Both of the humans freeze before saying at the same time, "Incestuous…robots…" Seems the head designer is a bit kinkier than others have realized. Then again, many have said he simply makes smart sex toys. This just keeps getting more interesting.

Itachi's look to Sasuke shows his disproval at how he said it. He then turns his gaze back to the two still in slight shock. "We're the first in an experimental design. This is why we have been awarded to you without specific details."

Deidara gives a whistle of appreciation. "Damn! That is definitely one way to test the public's reaction, yeah." To him it sounds really fun. He just hopes Sasori agrees.

Sasori's voice is unreadable as he adds his input. "Is there an option to turn that design off?" His expression is just as blank. He really should win awards at a poker face contest.

Itachi nods. "Yes. It would be extremely counterproductive if we were returned. Do you wish us to do that?" Amusement is in his voice. Very subtle but still there. He finds their possible discomfort over this to be funny. Guess Sasuke isn't the only one with some sass.

The two humans look at each other in thought. Technically it isn't real incest as the two are In-Hu's, so the decision is made and Sasori smirks at them. "No. We are interested in how this will play out." He then frowns. "Just don't do it around others." While they themselves are fine with it, others may not be. And while the two rarely concern themselves with what people think of their lifestyle, they do have their business to consider. People may be uncomfortable talking to an incestuous In-Hu as a receptionist. Which is something Sasori never thought he'd have to consider when he and Deidara opened their parlor.

Deidara smile, his interest blazing anew. "So you guys can feel pain and pleasure and all that?"

Itachi nods. "We are each programmed with our own tolerances. Much as humans have their own limits." Well that makes sense.

Deidara's smile turns mischievous. "So will you get random erections?" The thought of an in-hu getting unwanted boners is amusing.

Sasuke frowns. "Well, probably. What is your fascination with sex?" He yelps at a flick to his head from Itachi.

Itachi is still smiling calmly. "As you see, Sasuke is a bit more reactive."

Sasuke rubs his forehead, showing that he really did feel possible pain. "I just wasn't expecting it is all." He continues to grumble softly.

Itachi merely pats his hair. "Of course." His voice was true teasing older brother. He even lets out a laugh when Sasuke swats his hand away.

The 'younger' looks to Sasori. "Since I'll be doing housework, what will I be expected to do?" His eyes move to Itachi quickly. "Itachi has to be the one to cook. I don't have that particular skillset."

Sasori nods. "That's fine." Though he raises a brow. "What would be the result of you trying?"

Sasuke looks away, raising the two human's curiosity. "Um…page seventeen…"

Deidara opens the pamphlet and turns to the correct page. It has the warnings. "Possible fire risk." He grins but before he can comment Sasori butts in.

"Itachi will be the cook. And I don't care what Deidara says, Sasuke is banned from any type of cooking." His voice is like iron and has a hint of irritation in it. If he doesn't give this rule then the house might burn down.

Sasuke's eyes flash red for a second before back to black. "We imprint rules when given to us."

Deidara raises a brow. "Is it automatic, hm?"

Itachi shakes his head. "Not really. Unless we are ordered to imprint it, it is up to our discretion. But as this is an obvious rule that Sasuke needs to follow in order to protect our owners, his programming acknowledged it as important."

Sasuke nods. "Which means even if Sasori rescinds that order, I still will not be able to break it. And trying to get me to break it can damage my programming."

"Would someone be able to rescind a different order?" Sasori is really going to look forward to learning about how these androids work.

Itachi thinks about it for a second. "I suppose it depends on what the order it is. If it goes along with a safety protocol then it is permanent. You would need specific help to restart it."

The doorbell then goes off and Sasori looks to Deidara, frowning. "Who?"

Deidara merely grins. "I invited Naruto to come see them! He didn't believe me when I said we won, yeah."

Sasori's frown turns to a smirk. "Very well." His eyes go to Itachi. "How about we have Itachi answer the door then?"

"Oh fuck yes!" Deidara pumps a fist in the air. "That's one way to prove it, yeah."

Itachi chuckles. "Very well." He bows his head to them before going to the door and opening it.

The blond on the other side of the door freezes, eyes wide. "No. Fucking. Way." He hears from inside, "The other's in here".

Itachi steps to the side. "Please come in. I assume you are Naruto?"

Naruto comes in and changes shoes for slippers. "Yeah." He figures Deidara said his name.

Itachi's calm voice flows over him. "Follow me please." He leads the human to the living room where everyone still is.

Naruto grins at seeing Sasuke. "Damn!" He looks between them when Itachi stands next to him again. "They really do look like brothers." He turns eyes to Deidara. "That is what they're supposed to be, right?" He knows that Uchihas are heavily family based.

Sasuke nods. "Yes. I am Sasuke and this is my older brother Itachi."

Naruto nods, eyes bright. "Sweet! I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I live next door and went to art school with Deidara."

Itachi blinks. "Oh? You are artists?"

Naruto laughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his head. "Well, sometimes I paint, but I'm nothing special at it. Deidara here does a whole bunch of sculptures that are really awesome!"

Sasori's voice cut through. "Another rule." He waits until both eyes are red. "No matter what Deidara or Naruto say, neither of you are allowed to help him blow something up."

Deidara whined. "Oh come on!"

Once their eyes turn to black again, Sasuke smirks. "That's an interesting rule. Is there a reason behind it?"

Naruto can't help but laugh. "Well yeah. I always love a good prank and Deidara loves a good explosion. So once in a while we'd team up to pull the ultimate paybacks on assholes that made fun of us."

Itachi chuckled with his own teasing look. "We will keep an eye out for any mischief then."

Sasuke though, rolls his eyes. "You both are adults. Shouldn't you act like it?"

Sasori nods, looking relieved that someone else agrees with that. "Thank you."

Naruto raises a brow. "Tch. An In-Hu with an attitude? Well that's weird."

Sasuke scowls. "A human adult who still pulls pranks? That's pathetic."

Naruto scowls right back and opens his mouth to reply, but Itachi speaks up to keep the peace. "I apologize. It will take a while for Sasuke to gain social skills." He pokes the other Uchiha's head and a small spark comes out. "Don't be a pest, Sasuke. Apologize."

Sasuke grumbles and rubs the spot. But he does look to Naruto, his expression not so worked up anymore. "Sorry…that was uncalled for…but yeah. I'm programmed with a bit of a standoffish nature. It's just how I am."

Naruto gives a small smile and holds out his hand. "Yeah. I get that. I was rude too. We'll just help you along where we can. If Itachi says you can gain some skills, then I'm sure you can."

Sasuke takes the hand, a bit hesitant. And this causes Sasori to frown with an almost disgusted look. "…Gross…" He is of course talking about all this social emotional stuff.

Deidara slaps his husband in the back of the head. "Don't be an old man!"

Sasuke clears his throat and steps back beside Itachi. "So do you know any others with an In-Hu?"

Naruto nods. "Yeah, I do. There's a girl that works as a receptionist at the sanctuary I work at. Her cousin Neji is actually an In-Hu. He was bought to keep her safe when she moved out. She is a bit on the weaker side and her family was worried. He usually accompanies her everywhere."

Deidara gives his friend a look. "There's also your insane friend Gaara, yeah."

Naruto frowns to that. "Gaara isn't crazy. He's just antisocial." He turns eyes to the In-Hu. "His mother died and so his father got him 'siblings' to keep him occupied and away from him. His father is dead and Temari and Kankuro keep him afloat and out of serious trouble."

Sasuke raises a brow. "Serious trouble? Geez."

Naruto decides to simply ignore that. "So can you two access the internet?" Only the new models can do it.

Itachi nods with an affirmative hum. "The instructions for that set up is in the manual. Page 27."

Sasori takes it and looks. "We'll set it up with Itachi only."

Sasuke frowns. "Why not me?" Definitely a bit of a pout.

Sasori's eyes narrow. "Because I can tell you would be like Deidara. A brat."

Itachi smirks at that. "Well, he is programmed to be a tad less mature than me." He hears Naruto chuckle at their brotherly interactions. "So are the other In-Hu you've met different from us?"

Naruto nods. "Yeah. Neji is a bit…well, blunt. His social skills are even worse than Sasuke's in some ways. He's not rude, per-say, but he just doesn't care for a human that isn't Hinata. Makes sense since that's why he was bought."

Sasuke nods. That does make sense. If programmed for a single thing it'll be really hard to change without further alterations. "And what about Gaara's siblings?"

Naruto shrugs. "Kankuro's pretty cool. He's into theater and learned how to make marionettes. Temari can be a tight ass but really cares about Gaara."

Sasuke has a bit of hesitation when he asks, "…What did you mean by 'serious trouble'?" He really wasn't trying to be rude this time.

Naruto sighs. "Well…when his mother died, Gaara lashed out at a lot of people. His father didn't help him process his grief and he was almost sent to a detention center at one point. Temari had a psychology program downloaded and is now Gaara's therapist as well."

Itachi's smile is soft and gentle. "Well, we hope we can meet them at some time."

Sasori set his mug to the side. "Itachi. I need to inform you of how the parlor will be run. You'll be starting tomorrow." He gestures to the hallway.

Itachi nods and follows. "Very well. Lead the way." They both leave and Sasori takes him to his home office.

Naruto sits and relaxes back against the couch. "So Itachi will work at Forever Dolls? What will you be doing, Sasuke?"

Sasuke shrugs and decides to sit as well. "Housework. Though I still haven't been told what that entails. Is it just a general clean up or are there specific instructions?"

Deidara thinks for a moment. "Don't touch Sasori's and my room, yeah. And in the bathrooms, don't reorganize anything. Also, unless Sasori says so, don't go into his office. My art studio can do with cleaning but don't mess with anything that seems in use, un. If unsure, just leave it alone. Otherwise, housework really sucks for us after working for so long. How is your stamina level?"

Sasuke's eyes had gone red to imprint the rules, soon turning black again. "Itachi and I are charged by solar rays through our skin. If in an area with little sunlight, then an In-Hu sun lamp can be purchased. It'll work just as well but may take a bit longer exposure to get the full results. Uchihas have good storage and displacement capacities. In other words, as long as you don't keep us in the dark we can keep going."

Naruto tilts head. "So you don't need sleep?" Solar charged? Cool idea and definitely cost efficient.

Sasuke shakes his head to that. "Not in the sense of humans. Sleep for us is like turning off an electrical device. It helps us clear unneeded data and make sure imprints remain permanent." He raises brow, eyes shining in curiosity. "Do the other In-Hus have different charging abilities?"

Naruto rubs back of head with laughter. "Dunno. Never asked. Kinda thought it might be rude or something. But that does make sense." He blinks. "Do you not know?"

Sasuke shakes his head. "That knowledge isn't required and therefore not previously installed." He stands up and goes over to his box, pulling out a package. "This is the installation equipment." He hands it to Deidara. It's a disk drive with a cord. "You'll be sent a disc with whatever upgrade or new information you want put on. Connect this to the ports in the back of our necks, near the start button, and put the disc in. Pretty simple. Just make sure not to disconnect before we say so. Otherwise it'll cause damage. And since we're still a new line, it may not be able to be repaired."

Deidara nods and takes it. "Thank you. We'll be careful about that. We got you guys for free and I'd like for it remain as cost-efficient as possible, yeah." He sets the package aside, deciding to look at it later. "So can you still just learn things or does everything have to be installed, hm?" That would be annoying.

Sasuke sits back down. "We have learning capabilities. Itachi will learn a bit faster than me but we would be able to achieve the same level in it. Installments are usually for if you want a more detailed lesson or get it done faster."

"Well that makes sense." Naruto smiles. "Kankuro learned the marionettes thing from watching YouTube videos and taking Gaara to a craft fair every few months. They have demonstrations. Gaara usually likes to go because there's a stand there that makes really cool weapons. Like swords and complex knives and stuff."

Sasuke blinks. "That...sounds pretty cool."

Deidara smiles. "Well then. Maybe we will all have to do it then, un."

Naruto looks shocked. "Really? You wouldn't mind?" He knows that Deidara and Gaara don't always get along.

Deidara shrugs. "Yeah. I'm sure they'll have sculptures there and something for Sasori, yeah. It'll also be good exposure for Itachi and Sasuke." He's heard exposure is the key to keeping an In-Hu fresh and he also knows he won't have to actually stay by Gaara. He looks to the hallway when he hears Sasori's voice coming closer. When he and Itachi come in he smiles. "Hey. So we're thinking that we should all go to the next craft fair. Gaara apparently goes, yeah."

Sasori raises a brow. "You want to be around Gaara?"

Deidara rolls his eyes. "I don't have to be around him. You and I can find our own thing. This will be good for Itachi and Sasuke as well, un." He walks over and wraps his arms around Sasori's shoulders. "So, want to go with us, hm?"

Sasori's lips twitch a bit in amusement but he gives in and kisses those pouting lips. "Fine."

Deidara jumped back and pumped a fist in the air. "Yes!" And when he high fives Naruto, Sasori really wants to feel annoyed…but he just feels further amusement. After all, he knew what he was marrying from the start. A peaceful and non-scheming Deidara is just weird.

Note: Hey everyone! Hope you liked this as it was a lot of to write and will continue to be fun. To give you a bit of a hint of the next chapter, we'll be able to understand the perspectives of our Uchihas boys!