When Barney came busting through the courthouse door, Andy and Gomer were in discussion, Andy was seated behind the desk and Gomer was leaned over it, palms down. They were in intense debate over when the new carburator would be placed on the squad care and Barney's entrance interrupted them. Barney marched to the desk and directed his speach to Andy, "So, they don't need us do they?"
"What's that?" Andy asked.
Gomer stood and backed away, "I think I should go."
Andy ordered Gomer, "No. You stay. We'll finish in a minute."
Barney barked, "You said the state police didn't need us."
Andy rolled his head in dismay, "Barney, not this again."
Barney reached in shirt and slammed the mask down on the desk, "You know what that is?"
Andy asked, "A mask?"
"It's not just a mask, I found it at the crime scene, close to the grave. It has blood on it. It's evidence, HOT evidence."
"Evidence? Shazaam!" said Gomer.
Barney juggled his feet around and sinched up his pants, "That's right. THAT mask belonged to the killer. Now Andy, I know you and I haven't seen eye to eye on things for a while, but this is important to both of us. This killer is a danger to everyone in this town, those we don't know and those closest to us. Now, we need to come together and clean this town up, and this needs to be the first step."
Andy only nodded; he looked over to Gomer, "Gomer, maybe it is better you go."
Gomer whole heartedly agreed with him. Barney spotted a smudge of grease on the desk where Gomer had leaned on it, "Gomer, get back here." Barney pointed at the smudge, "See, see this Andy. This filth on your desk is just like the filth in this town. And you don't hold anyone accountable anymore. As long as you profit from it, you look the other way. Well, I'm not letting anyone get away anymore. I'm holding everyone accountable. Gomer, clean this smudge."
Gomer, bewildered, looked at Andy. Andy said, "Gomer, come clean it up."
As Gomer wiped the spot, Barney said, "Now Andy, I want you come clean also. I want you to join me. We can clean this town again."
After Gomer had left, Andy said, "You finished?"
Barney was speachless.
"Are you finished, are you? Because I have some bad news for you. First, you hid the evidence under your shirt. It has your sweat, your hair, your skin, and your finger prints all over it. The only person that mask will point back to is you. You have made sure that not only us, the state police also could not use this."
Barney was still speachless, he tried to speak, but nothing would come out.
"And I know, I do know Barney, I have my hands in a lot of dirty little pies. But this crime, these killings, I don't like them any more than you do. I worry about Opie, I worry about Aunt Bee, and I know you are worried about Thelma Lou. It's true, they're all in danger. But even if you are going to do your own investigations, you can't mis-handle evidence like this. It's no good."
Barney agreed, "Yeah, you're right."
Andy took the mask and dropped it into the garbage. "Now, if you want to help, can I suggest a different approach?" Barney nodded. Andy continued, "Go patroling. Patrol around my house, patrol around Thelma Lou's. Watch out for the people. The state police can't stop you from doing that. And isn't that what we want right now? Keep those we care about safe?"
Barney agreed, "Finally. That's a good idea. I knew you could come around some."
"Word of warning though, the patrol car has been stalling some. If it goes dead on you, be extra careful, it floods out easily. I'm pushing Gomer as hard as I can to get us a replacement for the carburator. So, careful, or you will be walk patroling, which is a whole lot slower."
Barney said, "Thank you Andy," and he stepped into the back room to put on his uniform.
Barney took no breaks in his patroling. When he ate lunch, it was sandwich from the drugstore and eaten while driving. It was getting late at night however, and Barney was beginning to nod off at times. He yawned, "One more lap, and I'm calling it a night."
In the passenger seat, the invisible angelic Floyd sat, and said these unheard words to Barney, "Really proud of you there, boy."
Barney made sure the last street he patroled would be Thelma's. He crusied up the street once, slowed down, backed into a driveway and turned the car back in the direction it had came. Before he could pull back into the street, the patrol car began to stall and stutter. Barney became a bit more alert. He looked at his gas guage, which was still half full, "Boy, Andy was kidding about this thing needing some new parts." Barney pushed on the accelerator and saved the stall, the car began to run smoothly once agan. On his way back down the street, out the corner of his eye, he spotted some sort of blur. He slowed the car down and turned on the patrol spot light. Slowly he scanned it around a yard. From behind a tree, Barney thought he saw some bit of motion, "Hey," he shouted with the light fixed on the tree. Like a bolt, a tall person ran from behind the tree across the yard. "Hey, stop you," Barney called out.
The person did not stop, they continued to run. Barney dashed out of the patrol car and entered the chase. Floyd was angelicly in step behind him. A five foot high wooden fence was along the border of the yard, the perp was headed straight for it. It was the only direction the perp could run. Barney knew he had this guy now, he was fenced in. Instead, the perp grabbed the top of the fence and hoisted himself over the fence. Barney, hot on his heels, grabbed the top of the fence and was only able to scramble his legs on the side of the fence. Barney backed up for another running start, he jumped, grabbed the top of fence, and fell backyard onto the ground.
Floyd dismissed the fallen Barney and looked over the fence with a raised brow. He spread his wings and soared into a flight just above and behind the fleeing suspect. The perp continued to run, Floyd continued to follow, and both were now far from the moaning deputy who was lying on the ground beside the fence. Barney slowly rolled over and began to stand, and that is when he discovered that the perp had dropped something while leaping the fence. It was another mask; the same kind, 'Casper the Friendly Ghost."
Barney removed a hankerchief from his back pocket and slowly, carefully, lifted the mask by the thin rubber strap on the back. He returned to the patrol car and dropped the mask into a paper bag. Barney smiled, he turned up the street and drove to the courthouse.
Even though it was late at night, the lights were on at the courthouse. When Barney entered, bag in hand, Andy was having an argument with someone on the phone. What Barney did not see was the dark invisible Earnest T. Bass standing behind Andy. Andy yelled into the phone, "That's more kilos of coke than we have ever received, and it's a day early. Where do you think I am going to store it?" There was a pause as Andy took the reply from the other side, "Well I can't just build a new warehouse, and you do realize I have state police crawling all around the town right now." Anothe pause and Andy calmed down, "No, I don't want it go to another buyer. Yes, I know how the street value is. Look, I'll figure it out. I just have a lot of pressure on me now. Bring it on up."
Andy hung the phone up and Barney was standing there in front of his desk, the brown bag on the desk before him. Andy said, "Hey Barn. What's up?"
Barney motioned at the bag, "I saw him. I saw the killer tonight. I chased him, but he got away."
"Uh, how do you know it was the killer?"
Barney pointed at the bag, "Because he dropped this as he was running off. It's another mask. Very same kind."
Andy smiled, "You can't be serious. Good job Barney."
Earnest T. leaned forward and whispered something into Andy's ear. Andy's smile faded, "But we can't do anything about it right now. I have a huge shipment of coke showing up tomorrow and I am up to my armpits with state police."
Barney reeled back in shock, "But Andy. This is it. This is the big break. We can take fingerprints, we can trace the purchase. Andy, we are so close. Remember clean the town? Keep our loved ones safe?"
"I'm sorry, Barney. It's just bad timing. Once I get this shipment in, we can get right on it."
"But he's alerted that I've seen him. We have to work fast. We have to get on it right now."
Andy shook his head, "Sorry, Barney."
Barney raised his voice, "Well, you go on then. You go take care of your dirty little business while a murderer is roaming Mayberry. I'm not stopping. I'm getting right on it."
Andy stood and said, "No, Barney. There is too much heat here right now. It's bad timing is all."
Barney grabbed the bag up, "I'm doing it Andy. And I'm going to catch this killer."
Andy snatched the bag from Barney and quickly walked to the back room. Inside the room, Andy jammed the bag into a safe and slammed the door, "Barney, I gave you a direct order. Now keep patroling. You're doing fine with that. You drop all of this other stuff for now. We can get into it after the shipment is concealed."
Barney placed his hands on his hips, "Boy, you beat all. You know I can open that safe."
"No you can't. I had the combination changed."
"What? Why did you do a thing like that?"
Andy walked out of the back room and to the courhouse exit, "You drop this Barney. I mean it." Andy slammed the door behind him. The frustrated Barney sat at his desk and put his head down. Earnest T. laughed until he saw Floyd appear in the courthouse, then he laughed even harder.
Floyd said, "I know who the killer is."
Earnest said, "So what? So do I."
"I'm not giving up on Barney."
Earnest T, stepped around the desk and approached Floyd, "What are you going to do, Floyd?" Earnest was now in Floyd's face, "You going to turn physical and tell Barney who the killer is? You going to give him the combination to the safe?" Floyd said nothing, Earnest continued, "Because you can't indulge secrets like that to him. You can't even whisper it to him. That would make it a miracle, and we can't perform miracles. It's against the rules. If you do that, I automatically win, you would forfeit."
Floyd backed away from Earnest, "No. I will find another way." Floyd spread his wings and magically passed through the ceiling of the courthouse. Earnest watched and laughed, "It's okay friend. I know you will."
Floyd sat atop the Mayberry garage and waited. Out of the garage came Gomer, and in his hand was a 'Casper' mask. Gomer stepped into his car and drove away, Floyd lifted into the sky and followed. Soon Gomer drove to and abandoned cabin deep inside crimshaw woods. He exited the car and walked into the cabin. Floyd landed and stood for a moment outside the cabin, "You think you know someone," he moaned. Floyd passed into the cabin.
A bleeding victim, a middle aged man, was on the floor of the cabin. Gomer wore his mask and was pulling on a rope tied around the victim's neck. The victim' eyes bulged and his lips turned a deep purple. Gomer released the rope and the man fell limp to his death. Floyd watched the horrible act, his brow deep with anger. For a moment he considered turning physical and rushing Gomer, but this too would define a miracle and could not be allowed. No matter how tempting it was, Floyd understood what was at stake from his many failures in the past.
Gomer removed his mask, except it wasn't Gomer. It was Thelma Lou. Floyd stammered backwards, his eyes wide, his mouth agape, his hand across his heart. Unheard he said, "No, no it can't be." Thelma dropped the mask and called out, "Gomer, dear, it's done."
Gomer stepped out of a closed door and said, "Golly, Thelma, couldn't you wait until I finished using the restroom?"
She smiled, "It's okay. You can have the next one all to yourself."
Thelma reached down and bathed her hand in the victims blood and rubbed it across her lips. She and Gomer embraced, pasionately kissing and smearing the blood over one another's mouth, into one another's mouth, over their intertwined tongues, tasting the victim together. The kiss broke and Thelma said, "Don't forget the souvenir."
Gomer said, "Oh yeah." He trotted to a camera on a tripod on the opposite wall. He sat the timer and ran back to Thelma. They placed on foot both on the back of the victim and posed as a couple would if they were taking a photo to remember vacation by. The flash went off. Thelma balled her fist and made little jumps of joy as she giggled.
Floyd sighed, "Maybe it is all lost."
