It was yet another day in good old Liyue, and as of yet, nothing worth of note had occurred.
Rosie, having now some free time from both counselling and dealing with the cannibal town, had decided to go to the Yanshang Teahouse to relax.
On the way there, she met a familiar face.
« Oh, hello, Mr. Zhongli! Long time no see! » Rosie exclaimed, as she greeted the man, Zhongli.
« Indeed. Last time we saw was during the Lantern Rite, was it not? » Zhongli asked.
« Seems that way. So how's retirement treating ya? » Rosie teased the man.
« It's doing good, if I do say that myself. Perhaps there are time where I wonder if the director may be related to the Imps, but these times are rare, and other than that, it's all good. » Zhongli replied. « On that note, I do have an appointment at the Pearl Gallery, would you like to join me? »
« I wouldn't mind. Besides, we wouldn't want you to spend all of your daughter's money on the way there, wouldn't we? » Rosie joked.
« Why does everyone think Director Hu Tao is my daughter? » Zhongli asked with a deadpan expression.
« Oh, come now! You'd be adorable together! » Rosie replied, pinching Zhongli's cheeks. « All you need is a wife and you'd have a perfect family! »
« My "wife" is dead. » Zhongli replied.
« Ouch…touchy subject? » Rosie replied mortified.
« Well at least you didn't joke about Lady Ninnguang being my wife….» Zhongli shrugged.
« Angel Dust. » Rosie replied with a deadpan expression.
« Angel Dust. » Zhongli replied.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the two reached the Pearl Gallery, and waiting for them, or one should say waiting for Zhongli, were two men and a woman.
« Ah, Mr. Zhongli! And I see you brought Miss Rosie as well, what a pleasure. » the man commented.
« Oh, you're too kind, darling. So what are we discussing today? » Rosie asked curiously.
« Simply put, Mr. Hanxue, Mr. Yuxuan and Miss Wanyan wished to discuss matters regarding the history of Rex Lapis. » Zhongli explained.
« This good sir seems to not appreciate the almighty power of the Lord of Geo. As a professional archaeologist, I am to correct some of his erroneous views. » Hanxue replied.
« Did he now….» Rosie commented.
« We decided to meet here to discuss the whereabouts of the first Mora. » Hanxue replied.
« The "First Mora"? » Rosie asked.
« As everyone knows, the Lord of Geo taught the ancient people of Liyue the craft of smelting, creating goods that allowed them to develop trade with the early nations of that time. » Yixuan replied. « Today Liyue holds the sole right to cast Mora in the entire continent of Teyvat. The world's very first Mora should have been cast by the hands of the Lord of Geo himself thousands of years ago. »
« According to my research — as well as my own hypothesis — I believe that this coin of unique historical significance has been passed down secretly through the years as a kind of token. » Wanyan continued. « For example, perhaps the Qixing who control Liyue use it in some kind of unknown ceremony they hold when they come to power...»
« No, no, no... My research indicates that the first Mora coin is not such a simple thing. Mora is a catalyst — this we all know. Even today, Mora is used in the mystic arts for its curious properties of weapon enhancement. » Hanxue shot back. « The world's first Mora would no doubt possess the strongest power. My next historical treatise will boldly expound on the newest findings from my intense, decade-long research! That is, that the Lord of Geo used this original Mora as a catalyst to enhance a dagger and a sword. »
« Interesting…» Rosie commented.
« Well, buy the book when it comes out to read the full story. For now, I will only reveal this: the one who finds the dagger shall become supreme in Liyue, and the one who finds the sword may be crowned Liyue's sovereign—» Hanxue explained, before being interrupted by Zhongli.
« I... can't say I agree. »
« Hmm? » Hanxue raised an eyebrow confused.
« Let us not speak of the authenticity of the dagger and sword first... But Mora and money came about simply because they are a convenient measure of a contract's value. » Zhongli explained.
« I mean, it does makes sense. Humans invented money because it was easier for trade. » Rosie commented.
« Rex Lapis just meant for Mora to serve as a "catalyst" for people to exchange and trade. » Zhongli explained. « The world's first Mora is probably just an ordinary coin created by Rex Lapis. As for its fate? The same as all Mora, I suspect — it was simply spent somewhere. »
« Hmm... I think that Mr. Hanxue's hypothesis seems reasonable. Mr. Zhongli's argument, on the other hand, lacks any evidence. How can you so easily dismiss the Lord of Geo's profound foresight? » Yixuan asked.
« No — no, I am not debating right or wrong. I am simply stating a fact. » Zhongli replied.
« Enough! Do you think you understand the Lord of Geo more than me? » Hanxue asked angrily.
« Oh, wouldn't he know…. » Rosie commented with a smug grin, causing Zhongli to roll his eyes annoyed.
« I know but little about history and I wouldn't dare to brag. But discussion is meaningless if everyone has the same opinions, no? » Zhongli continued.
« Well then, answer me this: Long ago, when Liyue Harbor was being constructed, the Lord of Geo taught the people how to build houses. The model home he used to teach them was completely cast from Mora, correct? » Yixuan asked.
« That is correct, indeed. » Zhongli replied.
« Okay then, tell me: Why would the Lord of Geo do something so extravagant if not because of the mystical power that Mora contains? » Hanxue asked.
« There's a simple explanation, really. To the God of Wealth and Commerce, what material is easier to get than Mora? »
« Oh... Huh...» Hanxue remained speechless.
« Do I sense a bit of pride in there, Mr. Zhongli? » Rosie teased the man.
« Hehe, I mean... I am talking about Rex Lapis. » Zhongli shrugged.
« Excuse me, sir! Uh... I have some questions about archaeology. Can we find somewhere quiet to chat? I mean, if it's okay with you. » Wanyan asked after a while.
« Oh, it's no problem at all. But may my friend accompany us? Perhaps she could be of some help. » Zhongli requested.
« I don't see the issue, darling. » Rosie replied.
« Of course, She can come if that's what pleases you, sir. Let's go. » Wanyan replied.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached the back of the Peal Gallery.
« What I'm about to say is a bit disrespectful of the Lord of Geo and would draw a lot of angry looks... so it's best to discuss this somewhere quiet. » Wanyan explained.
« Oh, come now! We're all civilized people here! » Rosie commented.
« Your argument just now exhibited acuteness of speech and thought. Most importantly, you don't fall for the boasting and acting of the others. You remain objective. » Wanyan turned towards Zhongli. « So I have a question for you, perhaps you will answer differently from other scholars... Do you think that all the gods that the Geo Archon killed were evil? »
« ...Let's not analyze it in terms of good versus evil. Rex Lapis placed great importance on the integrity of contracts, so any gods he killed certainly must have broken some kind of contract. » Zhongli replied.
« I mean, that Osial fellow surely didn't seem one that liked negotiation when trying to flood this country… » Rosie shrugged.
« But when I was doing some research, I learned about the legend of the God of Salt. » Wanyan replied.
« Who? » Rosie asked.
« The God of Salt, Havria, was a very kind god, but she encountered Morax one day in battle... » Wanyan explained. « Morax used a rather underhanded trick to... assassinate her. »
« Did he now? » Rosie turned her head creepily towards the man, who became slightly pale.
« This... this bit of history is a long story. But you may not like the truth when you hear it. » Zhongli replied.
« Don't worry, please tell me what you know! This event... I have already searched for answers for a long time. » Wanyan replied.
« Morax, what the fuck did you do? » Rosie whispered.
« Oh…where do I even begin…» Zhongli sighed.
However, before he could begin, he was interrupted by a Fatui agent. « Hey, over here! Mr. Zhongli, I've been looking for- » he said, before turning pale as he recognized Rosie.
In response, she rotated her head 360° towards the man, a creepy look on her face. « I SMELL RUSKIES! » she exclaimed, before lunging towards the man, who let out a terrified scream, as both Zhongli and Wanyan tried to hold the woman in place.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later…
« And that's why I was sent here from Snezhnaya. » the man explained calmly.
« Meh. Makes sense. » Rosie shrugged. « Terribly sorry for the misunderstanding…»
« Meh, I've dealt with worse. » the man shrugged. « I heard that Wangsheng Funeral Parlor had a consultant named Zhongli with immense knowledge of ancient history and archaeology. So I paid Wangsheng Funeral Parlor a handsome amount to hire Zhongli as my own consultant while I'm in town. »
« So you mean to say that this is work for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, yes? » Zhongli asked.
« Looks like your daughter got you in a big mess…» Rosie teased the man.
« Wait, "daughter"? Director Hu Tao is your daughter? So who's your wife? » the Fatui asked.
« I HAD a wife. » Zhongli replied.
« Terribly sorry for your loss. » the Fatui replied.
« Well since it's work, I don't have a choice. A consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor must respect their duty. » Zhongli replied.
« Of course, you would be such a reasonable man! Well then, let's head out now, shall we? » the Fatui replied.
« Wait, if you are studying archaeology, can I go too? I am also a scholar in this field so I can help. » Wanyan said.
« That will give us a chance to continue the topic we were just discussing. Oh, and you should tag along too, Rosie. »
« I don't see the issue. » Rosie replied.
« This is— Wait, this is an archaeological expedition, not a tour group! That's too many people. » the Fatui exclaimed.
In response, Rosie turned towards the man with a creepy look, whilst the FNAF blackout song played sped up.
« Nevermindfourisgood! » the Fatui replied in a panic.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the four reached Sal Terrae.
« I heard that Sal Terrae was once the home of the God of Salt's people. Therefore... There are sure to be loads of valuable relics nearby. » the Fatui chuckled.
« According to legend, the people of the God of Salt, Havria, enjoyed prosperous lives under her protection. » Zhongli replied. « But this legend has been around for ages. With the countless scrap collectors and Treasure Hoarders in the area, there probably aren't many valuable things left here. »
« Gah, that's just great... If I knew it was picked this clean before, I wouldn't have come. » the Fatui complained.
« About that, I know there's a ruin deep in this cave here. It's related to the God of Salt, which is actually how the area originally got its name of Sal Terrae. However, the ruin entrance has been sealed by a mysterious power. Nobody has been able to break the seal. » Wanyan replied. « I found a mechanism that seemed to be related to the seal. But when I undid the mechanism, the seal wasn't affected at all. So at the moment, the seal's origin and how to break it are very important topics in my research on the God of Salt »
« About the salt people, right? » Rosie asked.
« I don't know, there's no concrete evidence. But I'm pretty sure the seal is meant to hide some kind of long-forgotten truth. » Wanyan replied. « The God of Salt was a benevolent god adored by the people, not to mention powerful. She wouldn't have any kind of shameful secrets to hide. So... The one who wants to hide some truth is very possibly her killer, Morax. »
« Still going strong about that, huh? » Rosie sighed.
« Who cares about all that? It sounds like countless treasures of the God of Salt lie within this ruin, just waiting for someone to find them, right!? » the Fatui exclaimed.
« You weren't listening at all, were you? Argh... Even if there's a mountain of treasures inside, nobody can get in if the seal isn't broken. » Wanyan replied.
« Ah, but we have the illustrious Mr. Zhongli with us! He looks like he knows just about everything — a little seal shouldn't be any trouble for him. » the Fatui replied.
« This seal seems to be quite ancient. Even Mr. Zhongli may not know all of its secrets... » Wanyan replied.
« Watch and learn, darlings! » Rosie replied, as she headed towards the mechanism.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, all the seals were breached by the combined efforts of Zhongli and Rosie.
« Has someone picked up what you demons call "phones"? » the Fatui asked.
« Wait wha- » Wanyan asked confused, before interrupted.
« Because I fucking called it! » the man exclaimed smugly.
« Oh, hush you, darling! » Rosie pinched the man's cheek.
«Pleasedonthurtme… » the man whimpered in fear.
« Before entering the ruin, I have a proposal that will help us prevent the kind of senseless arguing between you two. » Zhongli turned towards the Fatui and Wanyan.
« Okay, what is it? » Wanyan asked.
« I propose you two agree upon a contract, stipulating that we alternate who gets claim to each treasure we encounter, with only one object permitted per claim. » Zhongli proposed. « To show my sincerity, I won't be taking any treasure — this will just be between you all. »
« Me neither, the treasure is all yours! » Rosie added.
« I don't agree! I mean... you want me to split the treasure with this amateur archaeologist? No, absolutely not! » the Fatui complained.
« I don't agree either! Hmph, he will only defile the precious relics left behind by the God of Salt! I—I can't accept this. » Wanyan added.
In response, Rosie turned her head 180° and smiled creepily at the two.
« …You make a very good point. » the two replied terrified.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group went deeper in the cave, and found several statues made out of salt.
« A—Are these... statues? » Wanyan asked in shock.
« No. These are people. » Zhongli replied. « They were probably followers of the God of Salt. »
« How did they become this way...? » the Fatui pondered.
« What in the world is hidden deep in this ruin...? » Wanyan asked.
« Perhaps the Salt Goddess wasn't as nice as you remember her… » Rosie smirked.
« Oh, shut up you! » Wanyan shot back angrily, before the group found a strange chalice on an altar.
« Look at this. It's filled halfway with salt. » Wanyan noted.
« Just looks like a fancy salt holder. Seems like the God of Salt was a god lacking in treasures. » the Fatui commented.
« According to my knowledge, it's no ordinary vessel. Although it is only half-full, it is also forever half-full — that is to say, it is bottomless. » Zhongli explained.
« What!? You're saying that even if I pour the salt out, the amount inside won't change!? » the Fatui exclaimed.
« Exactly. » Zhongli replied.
« Able to produce endless salt... The God of Salt is powerful indeed! » the Fatui smirked.
« Well salt is an important commodity for you people. I mean, I doubt you guys have refrigerators at home! » Rosie replied.
«…The fuck is a refrigerator? » Wanyan asked.
« Finally, after all that effort, I've found precious treasure! I claim this as mine! » the Fatui exclaimed. « I just need to pour the endless salt into a thousand, or ten-thousand bags... I can sell it and make a fortune! »
« Hey! How can you use a relic of the God of Salt for such a shallow pursuit!? » Wanyan complained.
« If Mr. Kliment wants this salt chalice, then the next object we find will belong to Miss Wanyan, according to the contract agreed upon. » Zhongli replied.
« Of course, as we agreed. Hehe, but how can anything be worth more than this rare find? » Kliment replied.
« How about this ruler? » Rosie proposed, as she held a ruler on one hand.
« Ha, just a simple ruler. Doesn't look to be worth anything. » Kliment shot back.
« This... If I remember correctly, this is some kind of measuring tool. » Wanyan noted.
« Indeed. But the God of Salt imbued it with another power. » Zhongli replied.
« What does it do? » Rosie asked.
« When you stick this ruler in the ground, the surrounding area will become covered in salt, much like a rising tide covers the earth. » Zhongli explained. « The deeper it is stuck in the ground, the more salt will appear. It is essentially a "bumper harvest" of salt. »
« Th—That's even better than the salt chalice! » Kliment exclaimed.
« Well then, according to our contract, the salt ruler goes to Miss Wanyan. » Zhongli said.
« No! Unacceptable! I paid for and organized this entire expedition. Why should I get the short end of the stick! » Kliment complained. « And this girl has been useless. Why should she get anything!? »
However, a few moments he said that, a powerful demonic arm impaled him through the chest. Before the hand of the demon could crush his heart, his last words were « Hey, this isn't Miss Rosie's arm! »
« Indeed it is not! I am not one to dirty a lovely lady with the blood of recycling material! » it was Alastor who dropped the man dead.
« Oh, shush you. » Rosie replied, as she pinched the demon's cheek.
« Say, my dear. Hungry? » Alastor asked.
« A bit peckish, yes. Mind if I dig in? » Rosie proposed.
« Not at all my dear! » Alastor replied, as the two quickly devoured the dead man, leaving nothing behind. « Tasted better than I thought, if I do say so! »
« Oh…Uh…Say, you two aren't hungry anymore, right? » a terrified Wanyan asked.
« Oh, don't worry, dearie. We have self control. » Rosie replied.
« Ah, Alastor. How unpleasant to see you. What brings you here? » an annoyed Zhongli asked.
« I'm glad you asked! » Alastor replied. « You see, I may or may not had a bet through illicit means with my dear friend Vox! He was to create true entertainment as I would, whilst I was to create entertainment as he would! And to truly humiliate the chap, I insisted that he received the hand of his two companions! And oh boy, what wondrous entertainment have they created! » he continued, as he held a radio that played what appeared to be a young woman screaming in a panic from a lack of clothing of some sort.
« Hohoho! Now THAT's entertainment! » Alastor exclaimed.
« How is that even funny? » Wanyan asked confused.
« And to that I say, because I'll now explain how I will humiliate good ol'Vox in this challenge! » Alastor replied. « For you see, I may or may not have threatened Sir Pentious that I would had used his skin to make a fine bag unless he placed several high quality cameras inside these ruins to record this very occasion! »
« And? » Zhongli asked annoyed.
« AND, I'll ask you something, my elderly fellow! » Alastor placed a hand on Zhongli's shoulder. « What is the strongest point in comedy? Sheer, unadulterated suffering! And what better suffering than the despair of a believer? »
He then pointed at Wanyan. « Indeed! You, my dear, will be the host for the entertainment of countless of people! »
« Wait, why me?! » Wanyan exclaimed.
« This is punishment for lying to my good friend here, Zhongli! You're no archaeologist at all! » Alastor replied.
« Unfortunately, he is correct. Miss, you lack even the most basic archaeological knowledge and can recognize naught but a few simple relics. However, you are an expert when it comes to anything regarding the God of Salt. » Zhongli continued. « You aren't interested in archaeology or relics — what you're really interested in is the God of Salt. I believe those legends about the God of Salt that you mentioned on the Pearl Galley are passed down between generations at Yinyuan Hall... »
« Okay, that's enough! Sir, you are indeed a man of great knowledge and talents. I seem to have been right to seek you out, once I plucked up my courage. » Wanyan replied. « You're right. I'm not a scholar of archaeology. I come from one of the Eight Trades under the jurisdiction of the Qixing — Yinyuan Hall of the salt industry. Our ancestors were those protected by the God of Salt all those years, when the Archon War engulfed the land in chaos. »
« Let the show begin! » Alastor exclaimed with an evil smile.
« During the war, Morax assassinated our god out of envy for her power! He left us alone and lost in the world. We... We hate him! But this is Morax's Liyue, after all, and its history is written as he wishes... » Wanyan exclaimed angrily. « So, I seek proof of Morax's guilt! He has blood on his hands, and cruelty in his heart! So what do you say to that!? »
« Oh, come on. Do you really think Morax would had done something like that-» Rosie tried to reason with the girl, before stumbling towards a broken sword.
« This is... a sword? Aha! It's a broken sword, this is proof! This proves that the God of Salt had to fight back, fight back against the evil Morax! But sadly, she was defeated... » Wanyan exclaimed. « The power of this sword surely is much greater than that of the salt chalice and salt ruler! If we can repair this sword, then we can show the world the mighty power of the God of Salt... »
« Ah, the foolishness of mortal! You folks are willing to believe in anything but the truth to feel better about your sad, miserable little lives! » Alastor mocked the girl.
« And what do you know about "the truth"!?» Wanyan shouted angrily.
« Quite a lot more than you! I've done quite the research about your beloved Havria! Mostly by asking the Adepti about her! And boy, what a sad, pitiful story! » Alastor replied.
« W-what!?» Wanyan exclaimed shocked.
Xxxxxxx
The story of Havria
-By Alastor.
Havria was a kind, gentle god that was beloved by her people.
But there was an itty-bitty issue.
She was a massive pushover!
This was bad enough during peace times, so you can imagine how bad things got after the lovely times of the Archon War! Oh, so many orphans! And dead siblings!
And in said war, she thought that by simply selling lands and concessions to the other gods, she might get to live!
Unfortunately for her, this is war! And being a little bitch in a war never pays out!
And so, by the end of the war, this little cavern was all she had left!
And that's not even the best part! The best part comes next! The true apotheosis of comedy and pitifulness!
For you see, food ol'Havria wasn't killed by your despised Morax, oh no my dear!
Instead, she was killed by none other than her own people! And not even out of anger, but out of pity! They seriously considered that leaving her to her fate would had been more cruel than betraying her!
Oh, the sheer comedy!
True, when she died most of them turned to salt statues, but alas, what comedy! Truly, their sacrifice is not in vein!
Xxxxxxx
« As for your ancestors, they escaped to Liyue, scared that she might punish them for their betrayal, even daring to return to break the very sword that killed her! » Alastor could barely hold his laughter. « How is one scared of a god that is killed by her own people! At least Jesus Christ died because it was part of his plan! »
« Whilst your story could use a bit of fucking touch for such a sensible subject, I'm afraid that it is rather accurate. » a fuming Zhongli replied as calmly as he could muster.
« So, my dear! How does it feel to know that your entire history was just a big, fat, pitiful lie? » Alastor asked Wanyan.
Her eyes were wide in realization and despair after hearing the story of her god. Then, after a few seconds, she started to break down laughing, unable to handle Alastor revelation.
« Well! I'm off to drink water! It's been a while since I've done that! » Alastor casually commented, as he headed to the exit of the cave.
« ALASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! » Zhongli shouted angrily, summoning his spear and dashing towards the demon, engaging in a ferocious fight.
As that happened, Wanyan was on her knees, whilst Rosie arrived to comfort her. « Y'know…if it makes you feel any better…perhaps it was partly Morax fault that she died…I mean he could had tried to protect her? »
Just as she said that, Wanyan started to laugh maniacally, as she proceeded to stab herself in the chest with the blade of the sword several times, before stabbing herself in the neck, dropping dead with a creepy smile on her face.
As she collapsed on the ground, Rosie turned towards one of the cameras and smiled nervously and shrugged, as the Looney Tunes ending song played, before Kliment spirit came out of the ground screaming « THE AFTERLIFE IS PAIN! », before being dragged down by a tentacle, as the words "That's all folks" appeared.
Xxxxxxx
Meanwhile, in Fontaine, Vox, Val and Velvette stared at the screen with wide eyes.
« What a dick! » Val exclaimed.
« What a bitch! » Velvette added.
« Yeah! And that's coming from you! » Vox exclaimed, before sulking down on the sofa. « He used to be better than this, man! »
« Yeah, I thought he was just gonna pull a prank whilst Ninnguang, Carmilla and Beidou were having a threesome! » Val added in a disappointed tone.
« I mean, like, the guy obviously wins, but this is still a moral victory, right? » Velvette asked.
« I mean, yeah! At least we didn't bother anyone for some cheap laughs! » Vox proclaimed proudly.
Just as he said that, the door to their room was busted open. « DEMONS! IS THAT AUDIOLOG FROM YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA LADY FURINA'S REACTION TO HER LINGERIE HAVING BEEN BURNED IN THE CHIMNEY!?»
After hearing that angry question, the trio scrambled towards the window as fast as they could, jumping off it.
« DEMOOOOOONNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!»
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!