I wrote this after stumbling into my local arboretum/botanical garden. I loved the vibe, and felt like maybe you might too. This has a lot of personal experience wrapped up into it, so maybe I'm just projecting how I wish my situation had gone down, too.
Time tends to mellow people out, and there's a lot I wish I had or hadn't said all of those years ago, so let's fix it in a fictional universe instead, lol.
I don't hold any ownership of the victorious franchise.
Chapter 1. Hidden Self
You never listened to your parents when they said that your highschool friends weren't forever. In your mind, there was no way that a bond that strong would just evaporate into thin air after graduation. In your mind, you would call, text, and meet up every chance you got. There was never a doubt that what they said would ever come to pass.
But here you are, sitting alone on a wednesday afternoon at the library, trying to finish the essay due by midnight because you won't have much time to work on it later. Your old friendships had faded by the second year out of school.
Andre was really the only one who even still tried to wish you "happy birthday" anymore. Cat was the one who made it the biggest out of you all, she had hit music out all over the place. Beck was an avid stoner, Robbie got hot, and you vaguely remember Jade having gotten married a few years ago.
You had taken the pop-star opportunity when it was offered, but after a few years you decided that maybe your parents had been right about more than you cared to admit.
Now, five years late to the college game, you're trying to get back on track for what society deems a normal life.
After spending a year and a half at the local community college, you decided that getting the associates degree really wasn't that important. You were willing to make the jump away to a university, especially if it meant moving away from Triana. Somewhere up north, where the nights are cool, the scenery is beautiful, and no one will even care about your 10 minutes of fame.
Here you are, halfway through the fall semester, keeping your head down and trying to get out as quickly as you can. You're barely even trying to make friends again even though you know you're pretty lonely.
At 5:30 PM, your phone alerts you that your shift for the coffee shop starts in a half hour. You still have a whole conclusion to write and hadn't even started on your works cited page, so needless to say you were under the gun. You sigh as you pack your stuff up and prepare for the 20 minute hike across campus, stopping at your car right before the shop to put your backpack up and grab the uniform apron.
Being a barista wasn't the worst gig for the work study program. You get free coffee, a good place to study, and tuition was mere fractions of what it could be. The shifts could be better but you aren't going to complain since it pays for your housing, and anywhere is better than being trapped with Trina for another second.
The shift blows by, like it always does because you get away with enjoying your work. You had the whole team chanting sea shanties dressed like pirates for halloween. You were a pleasure to employ and to work with, just like always.
The smile you put on for the show fades as you lock the door at 11:00 PM though, and the real emotions start reappearing. You always try to shove them aside for everyone else, the show must go on, remember? But that essay is eating at the back of your mind, the chemistry exam you have on Friday is a hanging cloud of anxiety, and if you're honest with yourself you need to eat more than just the one meal a day when you finally get home.
You roll your shoulders, turning away from the door, exhaling heavily. Walking slowly, you make your way back to your car. Your last celebrity check had gone to paying off the grey SUV, and it was worth every dime after you had finally managed to get your license. You chuckle to yourself remembering the drama that quest had caused when you were younger.
You unlock the car, but the note on the window fluttering in the wind caught your eye. Immediately your curiosity overwhelmed your suspicion and you reached to snag it, quickly getting into the car and locking the door before you looked at it.
Didn't expect to see you here. It was a sight for sore eyes. Meet me at
the swinging benches in the east arboretum tomorrow morning?
Sincerely,
An old friend - J
You stare at the note, reading it over and over, looking for a word or clue that would shine light on who it was.
'How strange' you wonder to yourself. Flipping the note over, you realize it's a portion of a map. There's a black circle drawn around the swingset picture. You recognized the location, even though you had never actually gone to see what it was.
'It doesn't have a specific time written down, I wonder if they realize that.'
You tap your thumb on the steering wheel, putting the note into your pocket as you start your car.
'I'll go between my 8 AM and my 11 AM classes.' you think for a moment, but are immediately met with your voice of reason arguing, 'Are you crazy, you have no idea who this is, they could try to murder you and no one would even know. We can't go.'
You roll your eyes at yourself, 'I'll bring my pepper spray, and it'll be fine. I need friends and apparently this is an old one, so I might as well try."
Your internal voices were silent, apparently satisfied with the decision.
Driving home was a blur, you don't even remember stopping at the red lights, but you believe you had to make it safely somehow. Reaching for your backpack, you lug your armfuls up the steps to your tiny studio apartment.
Only one room, but it was paradise in your eyes. You set everything down on the half-circle dining table against the wall and then make some hot water for your tea. You turn the kitchen light off too soon and end up bumping your foot into the one chair as you try to find your lamp. With the light on, you curse your throbbing toe, and pull your hot tea closer to you, setting it carefully onto the bedside table before falling face first into the bed pillows.
You contemplate for a moment whether falling asleep would really be such a bad decision, but you barely thought it before your conscience was yelling at you to sit up.
Groaning, you roll back over, retrieving the note from your pocket. You read it a few more times, getting a vague sense that the writing is familiar but equating it to the number of times you've read it. Flipping it over, you inspect the map portion again. With nothing else to get from the paper, you inhale deeply as you set it by your tea and stand up to grab your backpack.
'The faster you type, the faster we go to sleep, and the faster we can get the morning class over to meet up with whoever this is.'
Amazingly, the pep talk worked, and you managed to bang out the rest of the assignment and turn it in before 11:50 PM. You were in bed, teeth brushed and passed out before 12:10, which is an accomplishment in and of itself.
Your last conscious thoughts weren't even words, just a vaguely aware feeling of excitement before the void took hold.
You overslept.
Between the hustle and bustle of trying to get to class, you almost forgot all about the meet up with J.
Almost, but not quite.
You may as well not have even gone to class though because there was zero concentration happening.
The plan to look extra presentable was canceled when the 7:45 fai-safe alarm went off, so you're stuck in your signature skinny jeans and a light sweater paired with fuzzy boots since it was the first cold day of November. The little bit of makeup was helping, but there was only so much it could do; your day old curls were holding strong though.
'Jesus, this class is droning on and on'. You cross your arms, sliding down into your chair. Your imagination takes you down all the scenarios that you can come up with for what is about to happen.
By the time the professor dismissed you, you had almost forgotten you were in class at all. There was a flurry of hands as you tried to gather all of your stuff while your mind went to war with itself.
'Jeez, try to act civilized Tori,' you say to yourself after almost dumping your notebook on the floor, 'they might not even be there anymore, or you might not even know them, or it could be a trap, or- oh just hush.' Your conscience was struggling to regain control of your intrusive thoughts, but somehow you managed.
In the midst of the chaos that morning, you had at least remembered to bring your pepper spray- you know, just in case. You paused to pull it out, double checking that it was there before tucking the small vial of spray back into your sweater pocket. You slung your now full backpack over a shoulder, grunting as it hit your back and then made your way to the exit.
"East side of the Arboretum." You mumble outloud to yourself. The kid to your right looked at you confused, and you shook your head at him making it clear you hadn't meant to speak.
Outside, the sunshine was keeping the brisk cool at bay. You pull the sweater closer to you, making your way across campus to the stone entrance of the arboretum.
You'd never gotten the chance to walk through it, instead always passing by and wishing for the time to visit. Now, as you pass by the handful of sculptures, you realize there was a lot more than trees and plants here.
The light was just starting to sprinkle down through the canopy, butterflies were floating through the air and hovering around the brightly colored flowers that peppered the ground.
Ever so often, the space would open up, guiding your eyes to the intricately crafted sculptures. Wooden illusion pieces catch your eye. A mystic ceramic fox seemed to float on a cloud as the dew was evaporating in the shade, and a skeleton bell warned caution. They were eery, but intriguing. The one that startled you the most was a giant crow made of old tires atop a chunk of iron, its wings open wide while it's black eyes pierced through you; you swear you hear it's caw in your mind.
The entire place whispered of wonders and as the path began to follow a creek you couldn't help but relish in the strange calm that settled over you.
Your walking slowed as you saw the semi-enclosed pergola with swinging benches further up the path, empty.
Swallowing, you glance at the map you picked up on the way in, following the path with your fingers you determine that you are in fact in the right spot. The disappointed frown only increases as you walk closer to the swaying seats.
"Hello?" You call out loudly, glancing around but only seeing the thick brush enveloping the building.
"Too good to be true, or just stupid for believing?" You question yourself in a whisper, pushing the swing in mild agitation.
"You came." A gruff yet femenine voice rang out behind you.
Spinning on your heel you came face to face with the mysterious note writer.
It took you a moment to recognize her. With a slight tan, her natural brown hair pulled into a ponytail, and the closed lip smile evident on her features, she looked much less scary than you remembered.
"Jade?!" you asked, the shock seeping into your voice and spreading on your face.
Jade's smile grew, showing her pearly white's as she nodded, "Hey Tori, it's good to see you."
The bag dropped from your shoulder, as you made your way over to the girl quickly. You hesitate to hug her at the last second, all of a sudden remembering who you were dealing with.
In a much more Jade-like fashion, she cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow at you incredulously, "Vega, I don't bite...anymore." Her smile returned to her face as she reached out and pulled you into a big hug.
You quickly jumped into it, grateful for the opportunity to express the emotion you couldn't quite put into words.
You stayed in the hug for a few moments, neither of you speaking, but holding on tight as if you were both afraid the other would disappear.
Jade relaxed her grip first, leaning back to look at you. The movement of air made your face cold.
"Tori, are you seriously crying right now?" Jade chuckled, lifting her hand and gently wiping a fresh tear that had just rolled down.
Your hands quickly release the girl, flying up to your face as if to prove to yourself that there were actual tears coming out of your eyes.
Wiping the evidence away, you look down and sniffle, "I guess I just didn't realize I missed you as much as I did. This was very unexpected, and I didn't know you were anywhere near here." You inhale a shaky breath, looking back to the bright blue eyes in front of you, "I'm just glad to see you, that's all."
Jade laughed gently, "I know the feeling." She gestures to the seat still swinging behind you, "C'mon, let's sit. I think we have a lot to cover." She goes to move past you.
You nod, wiping your face again and tuning to follow her.
After you're both sitting, the wind starts whistling through the trees, moving the bench slightly.
Jade is looking straight ahead, the smile still ghosting her lips. You watch her closely, still not fully believing that the person was actually your old frenemy.
You lick your lips before you speak, "So, fill me in." She glances over to you as you continue, "You're…..different, and I can't exactly place why."
She looks to the creek and takes a deep breath before slowly exhaling, obviously gearing up for everything she was about to say, "Where to start, where to start." There was a pause, "When's your next class?" She asks.
"Oh, uhh, 11:00. Why?" The confusion is evident in your voice, but she ignores it.
"It's a long story, and I don't know if two hours will be enough." She seems far away in her thoughts.
"So, let's go for coffee tonight, and continue wherever we leave off." You try to provide some reassurance.
"What if you don't like what I have to say?" Her blue eyes seem to steel over, and a foreign emotion appears as she stares into your eyes.
You're slightly taken aback as you recognize it as fear, "Hey," you reach over and put a hand on her arm, "I just got you back. I'm not going anywhere, so take as long as you need. I hate my research and argument class anyways, so I'm always looking for a good reason to skip." You grin at the end in an attempt to lighten the mood, gently squeezing her arm in a quick succession.
Jade fought back the smile that inevitably showed back up. She puts her hand over yours on her arm and rubs her thumb over your knuckles in a silent thank you. "You were always good at that, calming me. Irritatingly so, even. I couldn't ever figure out how back then." She laughs to herself, far away again.
You lean over and bump her shoulder, "Ok, Spill it. This new Jade intrigues me, and I need to know more. Quit beating around the bush."
Jade rolls her eyes at you, "Always so fucking pushy, glad to know that never changed."
"Hey!" Your pout makes her smirk.
"Relax Tori, I missed it too much to actually complain." Her shoulders relax as she spoke.
The silence was suddenly deafening.
"Then why'd you quit responding to my messages?" You ask her suddenly, the excitement giving way to the suddenly unburied hurt. "I tried to stay in touch, but you stopped." The frown on your face deepens and you feel fresh tears bubbling on your bottom lid.
Jade swallows roughly, "Looks like a good time to take you through a brief summary of the last 5 years."
You miss the sideways glance she gives you, but the grip on your hand tightens.
"I assume you heard about me getting married?" She asks.
You just nod in response.
"Well, there was a little more to it than that. And I'm not going into details right now, but I made some discoveries in the first couple of months with him. The most important ones being that he was a total dick, and I was very much gay." She says it with confidence, but her physical self shows otherwise.
You tense at her words and she flinches away, eyeing you warily.
Forcing your body to relax, you motion for her to continue.
She doesn't start right away, taking in your reaction and all it's potential subtle meanings.
"You handled that way better than I expected." She finally says.
You can't help but shrug, "You finish your story and then I'll tell you mine. But just know, if you're finally being you, I'm in full support."
Jade blinks a few times, her eyes searching you for the joke or the punch line.
You give her another small smile, "Go on, I'm still listening."
"So, here I was 21 and divorced, trying to make it on my own. I wasn't willing to tell my dad, or really anyone for that matter, about the marriage, and I definitely didn't want to tell any of you guys my self discovery-"
You hold your hand up to stop her, trying not to interrupt too badly, "But you quit talking to me before you got married. I had to find out through a slap post from when Cat found out."
Jade gives you a reluctant and guilty smile, "I didn't invite any of my friends...sorry. I would say I regret it, but I'm glad none of you guys were there to see it looking back."
"Still," you prod again.
"Maybe I realized I was gay a little before then...maybe it was the final reason that me and Beck broke up after graduation." She sighs at the memories as she continues, "And maybe I quit replying and ultimately didn't invite you because I refused to believe I liked you."
Jade had her gaze fixed straight ahead, her jaw jutted to the side, chewing on the words with resentment.
Your eyes went wide, and you couldn't help your mouth hanging open.
She glances at you for a moment before looking back ahead, "Don't worry, I'm past it." She said quickly, seeming to take your surprise for disgust.
You immediately went into the voice she always used to mock you, "You're over me already? But Jadey we've just begun." You don't find it hard to fake the disappointment.
She laughs, and you're glad to hear it. The tension lessens, and y'all just rock for a few moments, taking in the sights and sounds.
You bump into her shoulder again, "Seriously though, what a shit excuse, I wouldn't have cared."
"I just didn't want to scare you away anymore than I already did on the regular."
Your face contorts, "Ppppppft, I was never scared of you, y-."
Her raised eyebrow glare stops you.
You slump your shoulders dramatically, "Ok, so maybe I was a little scared of you."
Jade's victory smirk gives you a funny feeling but you ignore it.
"So, what happened next?" You ask her.
"Next, my dad found out I had left the guy...being a lawyer makes him good at figuring stuff out I guess. And we struck a deal. He would still pay for my college if I would go to get a degree in something more mundane. Since being a playwright is eventually my goal, I figured I could probably still do that with an English degree, so here I am." She shrugs as she finishes.
"Sound's similar to mine." You say with a frown, "Pop-stardom was not for me apparently. I'm working on a business degree since my parents think I could do more with that in the long run."
She gives you a sympathetic smile, "Well, hey, we both managed to get here? I think that counts for something."
You nod in agreement, "You were the last person I expected to see today, but the person I needed most." There's a faint blush on her cheeks when you look at her.
"Jade West, are you BLUSHING?" You poke at her side, and she just glares at you. "Maybe you're not as over it as you let on." You wriggle your eyebrows at her.
She groans, putting her face in her hands, "God, I forgot how infuriating you could be."
"I thought you liked that about me." You say in her mocking Sweet Sally Peaches voice.
She stands up, face full of sneering mockery as she responds in the same voice, "I thought you don't talk like that."
You can't help but smile and she laughs before waving for you to stand up.
"C'mon, I want to show you around, after all this is kind of my safe space and I basically directed the whole thing."
You stand in confusion, "What?"
She gestures around her, "The arboretum, I've been in charge of it for like two years now."
You look at her squinting, "I thought you were an English major?"
"Yep," she nods, "but I'm also a Horticulture major, and I'm very good at what I do." She turns to walk away.
You grab your things, quickly running to catch up to her, "So, a double major? And what does 'horror contour' even mean?"
"Horticulture. Plants, Vega. I love plants."
"Ohh, ok that makes way more sense, bu-" You trip on your shoe, the ground suddenly coming towards you, but you're stopped by a hand grabbing your arm.
"Shit Tori, you ok?" Jade pulls you up, hand still wrapped around your arm.
"No, no, I'm fine, I'm sorry. My mind was moving faster than my feet. I'm sorry." You were pushing out words, but you weren't really paying much attention to what you were saying.
"Breathe, Vega." She says steadying you more with her second hand moving to your shoulder.
"I'm sorry." You can't help but stare at her, she's right there after all.
"Quit apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong." Jade watches you with concern all over her face, "When did you develop low self-esteem?" She jokes half heartedly.
You feel yourself shrink, looking everywhere but her, "When my world started flipping upside down, and never stopped," you mumble.
She pauses for a moment before she drops her hand from your shoulder and interlinks her other arm with yours. You walk with her as she starts to move.
"Sounds like some therapy would do you good." She leans closer as she speaks, "It did wonders for me. Between Grace and the arboretum, I feel like I'm a new person. Less...spikey?" She smiles at herself.
You look over to her, "I knew you seemed different. Calmer maybe? Less abrasive for sure." She glances at you briefly as you speak. "I forgot you were a natural brunette...and I don't remember ever seeing your hair up. The look suits you- beautiful as ever, but with less walls up."
She rolls her eyes, but her grin removes any trace of malice in the action, "Oh, stop. Flattery will get you nowhere with me."
"Doesn't mean I can't try." You give her a smug smile.
She stops walking for a second, "Are you being a smartass or are you flirting with me?" Her pierced brow was raised in a questioning glare.
You frown, lips pursed, "I don't actually know the answer to that," you say slowly.
Her other eyebrow raises before she squints at you.
You turn and start walking again, pulling her along. She only pulls for a moment before accepting the movement.
"I may or may not have had my own share of realizations when I was first getting my foot into fame." You cough slightly, "Including making the mistake of sleeping with my assistant," She turns her head to you and you bite your lip, "You know, I was all alone out there. No one there to connect me to my old self, I needed a friend and well….she was there for me when no one else was." You try to swallow the bitter taste in your mouth. Talking about that memory was still an unpleasant experience.
You risk a glance over to Jade, who has her wide eyed stare straight ahead as she contemplates the meaning of what you had just said. "Oh, I see."
You laugh uncomfortably, trying to shake the anxiety that's in the pit of your stomach all of a sudden. She hugs your arm closer as a show of comfort, and it helps a little.
Jade wordlessly pulls you towards a bridge going over the creek, the bald cypress tunnel shrouds the walkway with mystery.
At the end of the tunnel you see a new sculpture, a snarling wolf. Although, you realize it was an illusion as y'all begin to walk around it. The once solid appearing metal disappears almost completely, exposing a sad smaller wolf in the center of the originally angry beast. As you keep walking it suddenly reverts, and the small wolf disappears.
"That's incredible!" You say aloud.
"You think so?"
"Absolutely, how did they do that?" You look over to Jade.
She pulls you back around to the plaque under the wolf's side. You watch the illusion again, still in awe.
"Read for yourself." She gestures to the bronze rectangle's inscription.
"Hidden Self"
Joey Mitchel and Jade West
Created with intricate welding and detailed die casting,
this sculpture reveals an internal conflict.
"Are you fucking kidding me? What haven't you done in the last 5 years?" You ask incredulously.
She put a finger to her lip, "Uh, haven't tried paragliding yet."
You shove her shoulder lightly at her sarcasm, "Seriously, Jade, how did you do this?"
Like a child, she stuck her tongue out at you before responding. "So, it was my idea, but he was the one who brought it to life. Both of us took sculpting design as an elective. We got partnered up and hated each other at first. He was an asshole senior and I was a bitchy sophomore, but by the end of the 4 month semester we had a pretty solid friendship." She smiled at the sculpture, "He somehow got me to see my therapist for the first time, and I pushed him to rethink what was possible with metal working. We got selected for the first sculpture placement on this side of the creek, that's how I got started here at the arboretum, and ended up falling in love with it. They needed extra help and I ended up adding a major. I got really involved and grew into less of bitch. He just won an international metalworking competition last month, and he dedicated his entry piece to me in the interview. It was pretty cool."
It was your turn to roll your eyes, "Pretty cool? That's all you've got? That's freaking awesome and you just say 'pretty cool'. I can't believe you."
She waved you off with her hand, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not a completely new person, Vega. I don't know what else you would have expected."
"Fair enough." You grin.
She smiles at you, "Well, anyways, there's at least another 4 acres to cover if you ever feel like coming back out here. It's almost eleven now, so you're going to be late."
Your grin falters, and you almost immediately resolve yourself to be ok with just not going. "You aren't ditching me that easily. Let's go get that coffee."
"Such a rebel, skipping class," she says with no venom, "I like it."
You blush, and she thankfully doesn't comment. "I work at the campus coffee shop, so how about we go off campus? I really don't want to spend my free time there."
"I know," She looked away, "I may have followed you a little yesterday." She rubbed the back of her neck.
You laugh, "Where'd you see me?"
"You were in the library, I walked right past you to print my report. You got up almost as soon as it finished printing. If you hadn't been humming one of our old songs, I don't think I would have even stopped. My curiosity made me follow you, long enough for you to stop by your car, which is where I got to see that it was actually you. When you just dropped off your things,
I waited to see where you would go, and I saw you go into the Java Bean. That's when I wrote you my note." She glanced at you with mild embarrassment, "I hoped you'd show, but I didn't know what your schedule was, and you showed up right as I was coming back from a whazz break. I had been sitting on the benches since 7:30 just in case you came early." She was looking rather sheepish now, it was cute.
"Stalker." You don't throw any weight into the word, and the laugh that leaks into it diffuses her uneasiness.
"Well my early morning means I could really go for that coffee though, so by all means, I'm following you." She waves her arms down as if you're royalty.
"I have no idea where we are right now," you counter.
She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly acknowledged that you were probably right to be lost, "Ok, well follow me then. Where'd you park?" she turned to walk back through the tunnel.
You wrinkle your nose, "I have to drive? Gross." You start to follow her.
"I'll drive," she said, glancing back at you, "but we are taking your car. I drive the same POS I had in highschool, and you drive a Porsche. It's a no brainer to me."
You frown, "Why am I all of a sudden ok with driving?"
She spins around to look right at you, walking backwards through the beams of light making their way through the leaves, "I'm a good driver, remember? Don't worry, I'll be gentle." At her last word, she bit the corner of her bottom lip before flashing her eyebrows up, still walking backwards.
You stick your tongue out at her. She winks at you and then turns back around without breaking her stride.
This time there was an undeniable flutter in your stomach, and the blush that covered your cheeks was determined to be felt.
'This will be interesting,' you think to yourself as you jog back to walking by her side.