Chapter 32: The Choice

To an outsider looking in, the trip back to the base wasn't anything to write home about. The most worthwhile occurrences were a few encounters with hostile mobs that had spawned during the night and survived the sun's rays. Ergo, creepers and spiders.

This made for an ideal time to test out my new sword, and I was amazed at how much more potent it was, compared to my old iron one. With it, I was capable of taking out monsters in just two, or sometimes even one swing.

And yet, for as monumental as this was, I wasn't in a state of mind to feel proud of my progress. In fact, I had been feeling discombobulated since the time I woke up, something that Alex definitely noticed.

She'd occasionally ask if I was feeling well, or if something was wrong, to which I'd reply with a line-up of excuses, like feeling tired, not having slept well, or having a headache, to name a few. Now, to be fair to myself, at least I wasn't lying to her, because all of those justifications had some truth to them.

I could have also blamed last night's temperature, the brightness of the camp, the sleeping surface, and so on and so forth, but in reality, the dream I saw was the biggest culprit to my disarrayed state. That quaint feeling it had left me still hadn't faded away...

And not only that, but my apprehensions regarding my relationships and how I should handle them going forward were rekindled.

I temporarily pushed aside those conflicting emotions, in order to ask Alex a question that just came to mind. In a way that, in hindsight, must have looked really conspicuous to everyone else, I leaned in, and whispered it in her ear. Again, I wasn't thinking very clearly...

In any case, she whispered back the answer, after a deep exhalation.

"Tonight."

So, then...tonight was going to be when she'd officially step down. I asked once again what she'd do afterwards, just to check if she had come up with anything during the previous day. Interestingly enough, she had.

"I'll probably still be living in the mansion for a while, just, without any duties to tend to. If that doesn't work out, however, I'm also considering traveling to explore the world."

I nodded in understanding. In a way, I felt happy for her, for the reason that she had found some direction, as well as the willpower to follow it. I just wish I was in a similar position as well...

I had grown tired of having this choice I needed to make, constantly dangling over my head. It felt like a spider hanging in the corner of my room, not doing anything in particular, but still managing to irk me with its sheer presence.

I had assumed that spending more time with Alex would help me make a clear decision, not perplex me further!

...

Perhaps...I needed some advice...

...

By the time noon came around, I was sifting through the mansion's rooms, trying to find a certain library. It had been a while since I was shown around the building's layout, so I struggled to find the one I was looking for.

In due time, on the third floor, I stepped inside the biggest library this mansion had to offer, which housed three aisles. Due to its size, it even had two booth tables to accommodate for all the potential readers.

It was one of those visitors that I wanted to seek advice from. I walked over to where she was sitting, hunched over a slim book.

"Hello, Matilda," I greeted uncertainly.

She jerked her head up to meet my gaze. Had she not heard me walk near her? Anyway, that was beside the point. She greeted me back with an easygoing smile.

"Hello, dear. To what do I owe this visit? I don't suppose you came simply to keep me company, did you?"

"Hm, sort of? May I sit?" I pointed to a chair that was positioned on the other side of the table.

"By all means."

Once I got myself comfortable, Matilda queried about the intentions behind my sudden approach.

"I was...wondering if you could give me some advice..."

She closed her book shut.

"Oh? This ought to be good! What exactly do you need advice on?"

I wasn't sure how much information I should give, so I started rather broadly.

"Before I tell you that, I need to ask: Have you ever reached a point where you were faced with a really pivotal choice?"

Understandably, she seemed a little weirded out by my question.

"I'm fairly certain everyone has, at some point. Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just that I feel like I've reached a point like that, myself. So...I was wondering how you managed to overcome your situation?"

"I see... Listen, dear; I don't know what exactly it is that's troubling you right now, so I won't pretend to. I also don't know if my advice will actually be of use to you, but when it was time for me to finally make that choice back when I did, I knew I had to be absolutely certain of my decision. So, here's my advice to you. Whatever you end up doing, make sure you don't have any doubts, or second thoughts, okay?"

I took some time to process this.

"That sounds...logical, but difficult at the same time."

With a sigh, she commented.

"I don't mean to pry on such matters, but if you want more advice from me, you'll have to give me at least a vague description of your situation."

Initially, I was on the fence about whether I should share my concerns with her, but the more I thought about it, the more I found myself believing that, in the end, I needed a little more help, and Matilda was willing to provide just that. I wasn't certain if she was completely trustworthy, but I took my chances regardless.

So, I gave her a concise review, entailing my relationship with Alex, Rana, and the options I had in mind. By the time I was finished, she was wearing an expression I couldn't quite decipher, almost like a mix between disbelief and amusement. She scratched her cheek, and cleared her throat.

"So, that's what this is about...? Huh... I don't mean to downplay your struggles, dear, but I was expecting something more...how should I put this...dire? Significant, maybe?"

"Seriously?"

"Maybe it's just that we're different species, so it's difficult for me to get into that mindset of yours. To elaborate, it's perfectly normal for us villagers to pair up freely. Is this not the case for you humans?"

"Typically not. From the way I see it, something like that could lead to pain. Though, then again, with the way things are headed, that outcome could be inevitable..."

She sighed, then rested her chin on her hand.

"In that case, I'm in no position to help. That said, I feel obligated to suggest you keep my previous advice in mind, and focus on what you want to do. If you decide to stay with one of those lovely maidens you brought up, don't do it out of fear of hurting her; it will probably be worse for everyone in the long term."

"..."

"As far as I'm concerned, if worries or uncertainties dictate what you do, you could become weary or jaded over time, as said worries fade away. While in such a state of mind, it's very likely you'll end up lashing out and hurting those near you, even if your original goal was to prevent such a thing from happening."

From the way she spoke, I genuinely believed she had prior experience with this sort of thing. I was honestly impressed.

"Right... Thank you, Matilda. I truly appreciate it."

"The pleasure was all mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should be getting back to my research."

"Okay, I'd better not bother you."

I left Matilda to her own devices, as I exited the library. Overall, her guidance helped me see things from a clearer perspective, for which I was grateful, even if the answer to my conundrum continued to elude me.

As I sat down on the steps of the staircase, I began to wonder why I was even this fussed about this in the first place. I was just fine yesterday, wasn't I? Had that dream seriously thrown me off this much?

And how come, out of all the dreams I had seen, this was the one I didn't forget?

...

Maybe I just needed a nap-

"What are you doing, man?"

I didn't need to turn around to know that that question came from Vincent.

"Sitting," was my response.

"Woah, I never would've guessed."

He sat down next to me. Okay, to make matters clear, I didn't hate the guy, even if our previous interactions had been less than enjoyable for either of us. It's just that, now that he had stopped trying to ambush me, he was just a bit of an annoyance.

"So, what are you up to?"

And yet, here he was, seemingly trying to engage in a casual conversation with me. I didn't want to brush off his efforts, especially since he had also been the one to apologize first. Keeping that in mind, I casually asked him the same question I first asked Matilda. Upon hearing it, he snapped his fingers.

"So, a dilemma, eh? Of course, of course I have. The second biggest one of those I've experienced was deciding between staying or leaving my old home, Cornyale, or whatever it's called now."

"Really?"

"Definitely. I'm not like the other schmucks here who got kicked out of that loser club; I left on my own!" he stated smugly.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? That place sucked ***. I didn't really get along with the others there – though in hindsight, that was partially because I was a little prick."

He chuckled a bit, and I did too, surprisingly.

"Whatever - it's not like they were any better, either. My one dad was too busy doing literally anything other than talking to me, while the other was so mind-numbingly irritating, I'm still amazed at myself for the restraint I showed."

"I'm sorry, did I get that right? You have two fathers?"

"Yeah, I do. Or maybe, did. Anyway, villagers of the same sex can produce offspring. From what I've gathered, it's not the same for you human weirdos, right?"

"...Right. How does that work?" I asked, mostly to let my mind be occupied with something else for a change.

"Am I actually gonna have to give someone 'the talk'? Man, I thought I was never gonna get the chance… You see, Stevie, when two people love each other very much…"

His attempt at making me feel like a juvenile was not appreciated.

"Heh heh, I'm sorry, alright? It's just too fun to tease you. I see what Matilda meant."

"..."

"Er-hem. Yeah, basically, when two villagers decide to have a baby, they just stare intently at each other's eyes, like this," he said, while staring deep into my soul. "During this phase, they imagine what they want the little rascal to sound like, and what its personality should be. Once that's done, they let their foreheads touch, and just like that, the world gets yet another brat in record time."

While not the most useful information in and of itself, it was certainly interesting. We traced back to the original topic of discussion.

"Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes. I ditched that stupid town. At first, I was scared out of my mind, being alone in the wilderness. But, simultaneously, I felt determined, in a way. And in the end, all things considered, it was worth the risk. Because, remember: What's the last thing left to do once you've hit rock-bottom?"

I...I thought I knew where he was getting at. And he was right. A feeling of optimism swelled within me, and the more I thought about it, the more assured I felt. I took a deep breath and answered definitively.

"Climb up."

"Nope! You grab a pickaxe and keep digging even deeper! Pfft, hahahahaha!"

In the midst of all his laughter, Vincent slapped me roughly in the back. I'm sure he did it with good intentions, but it still vexed me. I was reminded of something Rana would do, except this was far less graceful. I let out a groan, but tried to recompose myself. Once he calmed down, I genuinely thanked him for sharing his experiences with me.

"No problem, man. See ya."

He climbed down the stairs, and veered along the hall.

'What an odd person.'

Oddities aside, I was feeling rather lucky that I had this conversation with him. Not only did it seemingly improve our rocky relationship, it also helped in a small, yet rather significant way. On that note, this applied to both pieces of advice I was given.

My way of thinking was altered, as I felt somewhat enlightened regarding what to do once I made my choice. Now, all that was needed was some introspection on my end, and the answer would certainly reveal itself to me.

...

By some accident, I ended up inside one of the most peculiar rooms this building had to offer, which, come to think of it, actually said a lot, as this mansion was host to a lot of weird rooms, both in terms of placement, and functionality.

This room in particular was shown to me on my first day here, but I never gave it much thought. It was referred to as the 'nature room', and inside it was an artificial tree and river. The river was flowing inside a slope shaped out of stone slabs. The dull, tranquil sound of running water compelled me to take a seat, thinking that this place could serve as a suitable spot for a deep, earnest, and genuine introspection.

...

Nothing.

...

Nothing...

...

Still nothing…

…

I drew a sigh, and tried to focus once more.

...

'Spending potentially the rest of my life – however long that may be, here, with the illagers...the allays...and Alex. Well, if Alex actually goes through with her plan, then the three of us, her, Sunbeam, and I, could set out on a journey across the world, and maybe even settle down somewhere, like a family. Perhaps, we could even finish building that mineshaft we started, even after all this time... Or, we could move on to new building projects!

I like the idea...

...

On the flipside, if I were to go back to Rana, she could tell me more things about her old home. And now that I have some of my memories back, I could even do the same for her, instead of listening without adding anything of importance.

That sounds nice, too…

And besides, the main reason I'm probably even alive right now in the first place, is because she risked her life to save me… And she's probably all alone, now... I should repay her selflessness in some way... Then again, Matilda advised me not to let that mindset dictate my decisions regarding romance...

...

Come. ON! This shouldn't be so difficult!'

I viewed my inventory in an attempt to calm my nerves. It had been a while since I last gave it a thorough look. Most of the grid's slots were taken up by common resources, although I still had some rare materials leftover from previous adventures, like netherrack, moss blocks, and snow. Everything seemed to be in order.

And yet, upon closer inspection, something stood out. I suppose if one looks at something enough times, one stops really paying attention to it, therefore it's easy to miss or forget subtle details, like this one.

The object of my confusion was a single sheet of paper. Since when had that been on me? Typically, the crafting recipe for paper yields three individual sheets, so how did this end up here?

I focused on it, and it quickly materialized in my hands. At first glance, it seemed blank. But it was when I turned it around, that I remembered what this was. How did I even forget about this...?

A small, quadruped animal was staring back at me with beady eyes. Its shape was foreign, almost alien in appearance, curvy and slimy. It was a 'frog'.

I kept staring at the coal drawing, and I felt my grip tighten.

...

'Forgive me.'

...

It was sunset when the ring room became cluttered with illagers. It felt even more cramped now, compared to how it was during my match against Vincent. Everyone had either taken a seat around the arena, or on top of the loft. The higher-ups were among the latter, which potentially meant that even they didn't know what the occasion was.

In the middle of the ring was Alex, while I was standing on the side. She had specifically requested I stood by, probably in case she needed support. There was a hint of nervousness under that determined visage of hers, so maybe that really was the reason. I complied nonetheless.

With a deep breath, she raised her hand, and the crowd simmered down. She spoke at a seemingly even pace.

"My comrades," she started, "Before I state the reason I summoned you all here tonight, allow me to preface this by stating that it's been an honor leading and fighting alongside all of you. The ordeals and trials we have been through, while undoubtedly strenuous, are moments of my life I wouldn't change.

It would be disingenuous of me to say that I played the biggest role in our operations, because everything we've achieved and overcome, is thanks to you...and to those who are no longer here with us...so...you should be proud of yourselves."

I scanned the illagers' expressions. Some seemed flattered by their leader's praise, while others appeared put off by it, probably because of how unexpected it must have come across to them.

"Now, with that said and done, I…officially declare my resignation. From here on, I am no longer your leader, and I hold no authority or executive power over any of you."

With every word that rolled off her tongue, the crowd grew more and more restless, and a murmur was beginning to build up into a full-blown buzz. I even saw Matilda looking around nervously from the loft. I stepped closer to Alex just in case, and heard her gulp. Even so, she pressed on, undeterred.

"If you've got questions regarding your duties, your responsibilities, or any of that sort, you're free to ask any of your superiors, for I am not in the position to order you around anymore."

"But, ma'am!" a voice cut in. "What are we going to do? What are we, as a group, supposed to do now?"

"That is up to you to decide. I…have plans to forge my own path in life, and begin anew. You are free to do so, as well. Good night to all of you. And farewell."

She removed her cloak, and dropped it in the middle of the ring. She then exited the ring and left the room slowly, as the mess was gradually evolving into chaos. I stood still for a second, watching Matilda, the captain, and Vincent tame the crowd, and subsequently followed Alex. I had to talk to her.

As I was going after her, I felt such a strong sense of admiration flare up within me. This was something incredibly crucial for Alex, something that would alter the course of her life, potentially forever. And yet, she had done it. She pushed down her worries and went through with her desires for a better future. That was the reason why I admired her the most.

It soon occurred to me that I had no idea where she had gone off to, but I assumed she would be in her room...which I also didn't know where it was.

In the end, since not all doorways actually had doors, I resorted to knocking on every door I could find, until I'd hear a response. Not too long after, I heard her voice come from the other side of a birch door.

"Who is it?"

"Alex, it's me."

"Is there anyone else with you?" came her muffled voice.

"No, it's just me."

"Come in."

I took a deep breath. In just a few moments, the dilemma that had been bugging me for days on end, would finally end, in one way or another. It was reassuring, in a way.

I opened the door, and stepped inside her room.

...

A/N: Attention! If you wish to read the original ending, in which Steve chooses to be with Rana, simply carry on to the next chapter. Otherwise, if you'd like to read the alternate ending, in which Alex gets to be the lucky gal, you have two options.

The first is to go to the chapter that this site considers 'Chapter 42', based on the number. For reference, this chapter is numbered by the site as '36'. You can either skim through Rana's ending, or just change the two-digit number in the URL from '36' to '42'. You'll know you've found the right chapter, if it's titled 'Mice on Venus'.

If you don't want to bother with that, you can just read the rest of the story on AO3, where the 'chapter index' button allows you to warp directly to the chapter you want. Whichever ending you end up choosing to read, thank you for doing so!