Author Note: Woah! This chapter took a long time to write and took a ton of work. Damn! We are over 8k words for this chapter. Honestly, I think this chapter was pretty good and I like how it turned out. We really hit our milestone of 50 followers and I am both really happy and grateful. Please remember to follow, favorite, and review. It greatly helps with my motivation in writing and my frequency in updating. Have a wonderful and awesome day!
Chapter 42
The cracking of branches overhead stirred team avatar. After rescuing Jet and Katara from the clutches of the Sith and the fire nation. They had spent hours of flying until they reached what they hoped to be a safe spot to set up camp for the night.
The forest deep within Earth Kingdom territory provided a relative solitude for team avatar. The roaring campfire stirred and crackled as bits of embers spewed out like a furnace. Team Avatar, a team comprised of restoring balance and saving the world were now sitting along the fire, staring into its golden embers.
They didn't eat…but what had happened a couple of hours ago stirred their stomachs enough to make them nearly wish to hurl. Being captured by the powerful Sith, the hallucinations, and lastly…the truth of it all.
Katara and Jet both averted Ben's gaze. They each knew what had happened, the Sith's words rang true and even they knew it. Benjamin was from another universe. A person that crashed and could never return home…but that wasn't the tip of the iceberg along his secrets.
Katara's lips tightened close, taking a deep breath from her nose as she closed her eyes as the thoughts began to whirl uncontrollably. He was once Sith, a dark side user that had savored in the blood of Jedi.
She slowly turned her head over towards Ben. His golden eyes brightened by the orange glare of the campfire. Yes, he was quiet, and she could tell that he had been through so much but even she found it hard to believe…
Yes, he was prone to anger and giving into his emotions, but she could hardly believe it. The one that fought for the avatar to restore balance, the one that took Jedi apprentices and trained them to restore his order…the one that gave up his own arm and was willing to lay down his life for them, fell to the Sith.
"Benjamin…" Katara solemnly uttered. Her words partially rasped from the lack of talking from the long voyage here.
Ben slowly turning his head as he watched her. The dark blue eyes training along his face for any subtle reaction as she parted her lips once again. "Those Sith, they were…"
"…They were nothing." Ben spoke, instantly shutting her down as his eyes traveled back to the roaring cracks of the fire. "They were just some random fools that were a tad bit too dangerous. They mean nothing."
The last words stung like a cold chill. Eagerly sinking into their skin as team avatar even felt it directed towards them. Katara could tell, she could tell what he was thinking. Telling them to basically 'Bug off, this doesn't involve you…just sit quiet and stop.'
Yet, she wasn't giving up…they were a group, a team. They've been through thick and thin and she…they deserved to know his past and who he truly was before he came to this world.
"No, they weren't just nothing…" Katara's voice held an edge that drew all of team avatar to her. There eyes drowning at her glare as her own eyes were aimed directly at Ben. "Those two Sith, they said they've met you before." She dared. Her finger pointing towards his chest. Her face furrowed as her eyes locked onto his own.
A subtle grown emptied from Ben's chest. Slowly taking a deep breath that emptied from his nose like a raging bull. "…yeah, what did they say?" He sarcastically played off.
Jet's eyes broke from the flames. "Ben don't play dumb…we saw the way you were talking to them. Almost like some family reunion, you tried tor redeem them before you dueled them."
"What?" Aang spoke up from the flames. "You knew those people, Ben?" He asked. Ben was the first one to open to Aang about his connections to the darkness, falling to the dark side but held no knowledge of how steeped within the Sith he once was.
"What do you mean?" Ty Lee asked. Her greyish brown eyes zoning in on him. She had asked Ben before about his past, but he had brushed her off. She still wanted to know but at the same time…
Jet got up from his seat. His face in a dangerous glare as he narrowed his eyes towards his master. "They told us a lot of stuff, Ben." He clicked his lips, drawing himself forward as the orange gleam reflected off his armor. "With the way you've always lied to us…is that even your name, or just something that you thought of after crashing on this world?"
Sokka's eyes widened at the words came from Jet's mouth. 'Is that even your name…you've always lied to us?' He repeated within his mind. Sure, he knew that Ben was quiet and didn't like talking about his emotions, but he just assumed that was the type of person he was. He didn't realize how deep it truly went.
Ben kicked himself up. Jet instantly reeling back as he forgot how much of a prominent figure his master was. Two years older, towering over him with broad shoulders, his power…almost like staring into the heart of the storm, or the whirling of the roaring waves of the ocean.
Like the black abyss of nightfall along the roaring winds that carried snow. Suffocating, powerful, unending…that was the blessing of the force he radiated. "What are you talking about?" Aang spoke up. His eyes darting between Jet and Ben. "Another universe…"
"My name is Benjamin 'Diath' Wilum, and yes you are right…I am from another universe. What more do you want to know or are you and Katara going to keep coming at me!"
His voice rose along the vibrant forest. There eyes dragging along his own as they heard the words repeat along their eardrums. Yet, Toph's own eyes widened, her heart skipping a beat as she felt the vibrations travel through her.
"What…" Aang repeated. Turning towards his friends, checking to make sure that they had all heard the words that came from Ben's mouth.
"There is no way…" Sokka chattered, an awkward laugh uttered from her chest. Yet, he watched as his sister and Jet both stared at Ben. There eyes unwavering as his laughter was quieted down completely, Ty Lee following in Aang's movements as well.
Toph slowly rose herself. "You're not lying…I can feel the vibrations, and you aren't lying."
They were mute…Sokka, Ty Lee, Aang. There tones caught within their voice box as they tried to speak but they were completely struck. Millions of thoughts whirling within there head at what they had just realized uttered from the young earth bending master.
Katara turned to Ben. "Is there anything you want to tell us?" Wrapping her arms around herself. Almost like a mother that caught her child within a lie.
Ben sucked his lip, whirling away as he threw his hand downwards. "No, I don't. It's my business and there isn't any reason for you guys to know." He walked off towards Appa. The gang slowly following him as half the team was mute, his hands coiling along his sleeping bag as he would simply ignore them and fall asleep.
"I think we have a right to know about your past, Ben." Jet spoke up. Irking the young watchman as he simply took a deep breath, tossing his sleeping bag on the coarse ground.
"Is this an interrogation? If so, your terrible at it, especially for a jedi or a leader…whatever the hell you are."
Ben's words were cold, inching and steeped within bile. He didn't want to hurt them, yet he didn't want them to be bounded by his past. Why couldn't they just leave him alone and let him fight his own battles, yet he misjudged his friends…he misjudged how much they cared for him.
Katara's eyes widened at the words that came from ben's mouth. Angrily rolling over towards him as her hand connected with the base of his shoulder. Reeling him around as those golden eyes peered into dark blue.
"That's too far, Ben. We just want to help…"
"Help?" He repeated, dropping the bag on the floor. "What your definition of help is I don't want. Or are you just going to follow me into the woods again and spy on me?"
Sokka broke through the confusion. Walking over towards his sister as he separated both. "Ben, this is becoming too much…also Katara if Ben doesn't want to talk about his past you can't force him."
Sure, he had questions of his own about Ben's past, but it was still BEN'S past. "No, I won't stop." Ben broke through his grip. Those dangerous eyes that faced down beast of the darkness, warriors of the Sith, and great bendors reeled there attention towards Katara. "You know what? I helped you countless times during this journey. The air temple, the cave, the siege of the North…just a couple of examples. If I hadn't been there, then you all would've been monster food. I'm trying to help you, I don't know why you can't just believe me and let things go…"
They continued to bicker as Aang, Ty Lee, and Toph simply heard the commotion. Sokka trying to separate themselves from the other as the air started to get thinner, almost like a blade ready to cleave something in half with the tension slowly being mounted up.
"Why are you trying to protect us…"
There eyes directed towards Ty Lee. The girl slowly walking towards Ben and the rest of the group. Her hand going towards Ben's shoulder as she watched him. His eyes slowly losing that glare, slowly narrowing as a brief gust of air funneled from his lips. "I don't know…I just feel like I have to." He slowly conceded.
Katara's face scrunched up. That was his excuse…his excuse for bottling up and concealing the massive truth of who he once was, he believed that they were so immature that they couldn't help or handle the weight he placed on his shoulders.
"I just want to know who you were…before you came to this galaxy. They told us stuff about you, Ben. Some truly terrible stuff and we just want to hear your side of the story!" Katara begged.
Yet, her pleas went unanswered. Ben reeling backwards, his false hand reeling forward as he produced two heavy fists. His eyes darkening as he felt the taint of the dark side fed off his anger.
"Enough, never once have I ever asked anyone anything that they weren't willing to share!" His voice rose along the forest. His mechanical hand pushing Sokka away, his face peering down at Katara's own, he could see her good now. There faces merely inches apart as she could see the animalistic features he displayed, the pleading, the rage, the anger…the fear of what he could be exposed of. "You have no right…"
His gaze locked along the members of team avatar, a scowl quickly forming. "What…don't you think I've heard of it all during our travels. Where has the avatar been after all these years, the darkness and hate that Jet emanates when the dark side is involved, what happened to your mother, Ty Lee's naivety to what the fire nation has done!" He roared.
There bodies stiffened, nearly colliding to the ground as their gazes locked along Ben. Ty Lee's mouth hitched, her fingers going to her mouth as the words graced her senses. Aang's own eyes went to his shoes, the guilt once again festering…a one-hundred-year war because he left the airbender's that day, frozen in an iceberg.
"What gives you the right to interrogate me about my past?" He clicked his lips. Aiming his eyes at Katara she took a step back, rolling her arms around herself as she took a deep breath.
"If you've got a question, just ask!"
"Fine, then. How did your mother die…I see the way you act when you talk about her, the dark emotions that swarm you?" Ben's voice rose along the treetops, Sokka momentarily stunned at such a question as Ben didn't stop. "If we're all airing out our past lets put everything on the table…come on Katara. It was a big moment in your life, and I always had to deal with hearing it. Hearing about your mother, what you think you're the only person that lost someone here!"
"Go on, let's hear it all." Katara chattered, glaring at Ben as she simply took a deep breath.
After those words, maybe it was her nonchalant answer…but Ben's feelings stirred. His breath echoing as he reeled backwards. His feet clamping along the dirt and the grass as they simply stared at him. Yet, he decided for once in his life…that he didn't care anymore.
He was being foolish a couple of minutes ago. What did he think was going to happen? That he would be able to ignore their questions when they would come across Tressal and Shan…Arya and Rowan now?
No, they would simply ask questions and maybe they would get captured by Arya and Rowan once again and they would put lies in their head. Lies that would make them doubt him, maybe it would be for the best.
'They'll hate me in the end. They'll realize how much of a monster I was…but if they are safe and this world is able to be restored, then maybe just maybe then…'
"Alright, you want to hear…fine." He spoke, the rage dissipating from his voice as he slowly felt the anger subside. "I was born on one of the many jungle moons that was around the planet of Mandalore. My father was a conqueror, a warrior…a Mandalorian."
Sokka's head rose towards his friend's voice. "A Mandalorian?" He repeated, his mind whirling back to the time Ben told him about that girl, she was the same just like him. "That girl…wait you are a Mandalorian?"
Ben slowly shook his head. "No, not anymore at least, but the blood of my father still flows through me." He quickly spoke, reeling his eyes away back towards the orange glow of fire.
"Woah, that's so cool!" Aang spoke up. A smile along his face that broke through the melancholy of before. "He's got the blood of warriors in him…"
"Maybe, that's the reason why he's a better warrior than Sokka." Katara jabbed at her brother.
There was a faint laughter that broke through the awkwardness of the prior conversation. Yet, Katara's gaze simply focused back on Ben. The boys' mouth unmoving as he continued to stare.
"He was an animal…"
The words flying from Ben's mouth just as quickly, the laughter silencing as Ben's hands once again formed into two fists. Yet, the other…didn't.
The fingers on his false arm spazzing out. Unclenching and closing once again as sparks began to generate, those years that he wanted to forget…those memories that he tried to lock away funneling from him as he struggled.
"The Mandalorians were butchers. They were trying to rebuild after there loss during the Exar Kun Wars, they wished to go on another crusade that would immortalize themselves into history…they went to other worlds, capturing slaves to occupy there ranks."
The reminder of Exar Kun sent a faint shiver down Ty Lee's spine. Yet, it was the other words that caused team avatar to reel back. "Slaves?" Sokka slowly repeated.
"Yeah, that was how my mother met my father…she was bought in an auction. She was born on some outer rim planet." Ben's hand slowly raised, his eyes locking along the dark black glove as his golden eyes peered at them. The purple sparks of force lightning only held at bay through the meager self-control. "My father took me to one during my training, when I was just a little boy. Hundreds of men and woman that swarmed the galaxy. Bidding for things no man has the right to…"
His voice broke as the words emptied from his lips, a horrific silence following as he continued. The wide eyes of his friends peering at him at the horror of his words began to circulate. "My momma was brittle. She had some sort of condition or something, but she was good enough to clean and cook. So, my father bought her."
His words coiled from his lips. His heart thumping like a drum along his chest as the golden and crimson gleam of the Sith began to overtake him, the power it filled him with as those horrible memories pounded along his head like a marching band.
Ty Lee's lips curled. Tears falling down her cheeks as she took an instinctive step back, her own heart thumping along her chest. She hated it, she didn't want to see him in pain or hurt anymore. Yet, she was angry…annoyed that he wouldn't tell her about his past a couple of days prior. She was too foolish to realize the hurt it caused him and believed that he was just trying to act mysterious.
Jet could feel his emotions change…the dark side consuming him, almost like a blanket as a powerful shadow consumed nearly all the light that was within him. That fear, that betrayal, that anger all began to vanish at his master's words. As he began to understand why his master never talked about his past.
"Ben, maybe…"
Sokka didn't know what else to say. Raising his hand up to stop him, to try and say something that could ease the unrest he saw his friend going through. Yet, there was nothing he could do or think of.
His eyes locked to Sokka, momentarily stunning the boy as he saw the golden gleam of the Sith overtake his own. "I'm not stupid and, I am not a fool." His false arm clamped along his robes; his mouth unlatched like an animal. "My mother was a slave, someone who held no control of her life. My mother, she never told me. It took me a couple of years but even as a young child I knew something was up…I learned the truth of my birth."
That smiling face, that long dark hair. The way she always wore a sweater to hide her bruises from him as she would always smile to let him know that she was alright. She sacrificed everything for a son she didn't want…
…and in the end, she gave up her life for him.
They all knew what he was getting at, the words being too much for even Benjamin to bear. The boy who had fought great armies of Mandalorians and Dark jedi, the boy who had faced great creatures of the dark side, the boy who was ceremonially the reigning Grandmaster of The New Jedi Order. He was too afraid to speak the truth.
Ty Lee's mouth hitched, her back hitting a tree as she cried…crying for Ben, crying for his mother that still loved him even due to the circumstances. Sokka combed through his wild traces of hair in pure disbelief, almost like he could hardly make sense of the words.
Aang even though twelve years of age…knew what was going on. His breath heavy as even he took a seat along the fire. Jet's hands reached out towards his master, to comfort him but he stopped. He felt, disgusted. His parents were gone but they were good people, he had happy memories of them and chosen to honor their lives as a Jedi.
Yet, he had turned against his friend. No wonder Ben was screwed up beyond belief…if this was his childhood and he grew up with such a weight on his shoulders. No wonder he became like this! He didn't deserve him as a friend, he turned on him from what the Sith told him and didn't even give him a chance to speak!
Katara herself stared at him, unmoving or rather frozen as he continued. His grip and control of the force was uncontrolled, vibrant flashes in his mind's eye drawing his hand as he remembered it all. His heart thumping along his chest as the blessing of the force whirled in all directions.
The fire was stocked as it crackled with power, the bark of the trees snapped as Ben's grip simply tightened along the area. His control of the force, his blessing coursing through life as he felt everything swarm him.
"…how did you become a Jedi?" Katara simply asked. Moving forward with the conversation, she could read his face and emotions. If he was forced to talk more about the circumstances surrounding his birth, who knows what would happen.
"I was maybe eight or nine around that time. I just began my Mandalorian training, and I was good at it. Fighting, shooting, hunting. Before I thought I was naturally gifted, but later it was simply the blessing of the force that gave me an edge."
His mind drew towards those moments. Sitting at a dinner table as his father praised him, he was proud of him, and he was proud of himself. Around that time his father was less the violent drunk, but more of a proud father.
Yet, that contrasted what he was proud of. His son wasn't doing good in school or was the ace in the sports team. No, his son was learning to be a natural born killer, one that would in a couple years lead his clan to war against both the jedi and the republic for one great crusade. It sickened him to imagine that once in his life he wanted to please the monster he once called a father.
"There was a Jedi, a woman." His words funneled with power as he let the words loose from his lips. His heart hammering as he began to remember. Those durasteel floors that made up the roadway, the strange woman that wore heavy brown robes approach him. Before, he thought she was merely going to ask for directions but…
"She was a champion of the force. She told me that she felt me through it. That my control of the force was strong, the strongest she's ever felt." He uttered, yet after the closing sentence he niched a laugh at the end. Even as a young boy he didn't know what that meant, what the force even truly was back then. "I took her to my mother and father. They ran some test, and she was right…I held a very extraordinary connection to the force…"
He could still remember, that feeling. The way the woman opened his mind, the first time he levitated his table into the base of the room. The smile his mother held across her face. That powerful gleam of sunshine as her son proved that he was truly special. "My mother was also tested…"
"Tested, for being a Jedi?" Sokka spoke up, finally shaking himself from his daze.
Aang likewise did so as well. "Yeah, why did they do that?"
"The Jedi Order never believed in making connections. Still, there were times in which such exceptions would be allowed if the family was notorious or was known to produce powerful warriors of the force. The Qel Droma family and the Sunrider family are some key examples of this fact." He took a deep breath, coughing into his fist as he slowly regained back his composure. "My mother was not as powerful, but she was still strong within the force…the force ran through our blood, but my mother was both too old and brittle to use it."
"What happened after?" Katara said.
"My father, he didn't want to let me go. I don't know why though; I doubt it was for love. He probably saw me as some tool he could use to go up the ranks, or possibly thought that I could reach the rank of Mandalore with my powers. Yet, my mom didn't want for me, a life defined by blood and blaster fire…"
He glossed down at the fire. Soaking in the weight of the force as he narrowed his eyes, letting his breath travel as he thought back to those words. A life defined by blood and blaster fire, but in the end, he failed his mothers wishes…and became what he fought against. He didn't just fail her, he trampled over his dead mother's dreams and hopes, and became something far less than a warrior.
"I don't remember what happened that night, but my mom did not want me to live like that. Have a life like my father, she didn't want her little boy to become a slaver or a destroyer of worlds. In the end, she murdered my father while he slept."
The words came from Ben's mouth unversed and controlled. Almost like a machine giving in its input. Even team avatar was shocked to hear how neutral Ben's voice and words were towards the death of his father. Almost like he was merely telling someone to not forget to take out the trash or to unpack their bags.
Yet, they were quickly reminded of what his father was as a person…and a man. He deserved it, he deserved to die for what he did. "What my mother did was dishonorable. In Mandalorian culture, a duel would have to be issued and due to the fact, my mother did not kill my father in combat, she would be killed. So, she did the first thing she could, left and found the Jedi Order."
It was sickening to them. To hear this tale, to hear the tale of a broken woman who was sold into slavery and abused. Yet, to still love her son and to want the best for him in the end…it filled them with hope at the very least.
"My mother died for me…so I could live a better life. A life that I could use to save the innocent and protect the weak. To save the people like my mother who were too weak to save themselves." His words came out with hope and fulfillment, those old emotions of a young boy that wanted to be a Jedi filled him once again. Yet, it was quickly just as tarnished, a dark shadow once again overtaking them. "Where did it all go wrong. I think back to those days when I was training to become a Jedi Knight, and I wonder where my life started to change…"
He was alone on Dantooine for months on end before Arya and Rowan came along. He struggled with the force, not with raw power or the neutral powers but with the powers of the light. His raw strength, his skills with a lightsaber were great…but he was still a dark side adept, and a failure within the eyes of the order. "I was a dark side adept..."
Jet raised his head. "A dark side adept?" He repeated after his master.
"There are people, force sensitives like me and you that can use the force. But we all feel a stronger connection to a specific area within the force. For you, it may be the light…but with me I hold very powerful connections to the dark side, a connection that forbids me from utilizing the light side of the force."
Katara heard this before, before on one of there first meetings after her tantrum of Aang being more skilled than herself. Looking back on it, she hated the way she acted especially in front of her team.
"But that isn't it. The Mandalorians, remember how I told you they were planning on doing their crusade?"
There eyes widening as they stared at Ben. The uncontrollable horrors whirling in their heads as they began to realize what was coming. This story of a young boy whose mother sacrificed herself for would not have a happy ending to it.
"They stated on outer rim planets. Working in the way the Jedi or the Republic couldn't see them act or do anything about. Then, they started moving forward…" His eyes held a haze in them, almost like seeing into a holo vid or a Holocron. Remembering those moments, those times of great darkness. "Worlds were getting glassed, planet wide genocides, mass wars sparking across the galaxy like an uncontrollable fire. The republic begged for help, but the Jedi council choose against it…"
"What?" Aang emerged, jumping into the air as he stared at Ben. "Why…the Jedi are different from here but why…?"
"I don't know, they never explained anything. The council, they were simply bunch of fools that were waiting for some strange sign from the force. As words died and millions were killed, they choose to stand by like cowards."
There was a cold bite at the edge of Ben's words that silenced Aang. Honestly, they all couldn't fully believe it. Worlds, millions of people…were all getting eradicated and the Jedi the great guardians of peace choose to not do anything?
Jet raised his head. "The war, is that what Arya and Rowan were speaking about…the Jedi Civil War?" He spoke up. Yet, Ben slowly shook his head. "That came later." He answered.
"Then, what war did you fight in?" Ty Lee questioned.
"I served in both of them. When the Mandalorians invaded I joined Revan and the rest of his Revanchrist against the threat, and again during the Jedi Civil War…when Revan declared war on the Republic."
"You joined the Sith?" Jet spoke. Slowly shaking his head in disapproval. "I just don't understand why you would renounce your loyalty to the people you were meant to save."
They all stared at him, the new information slowly shaking them to their core as they searched upon their friend once again. The once proud jedi watchman, the last of the Jedi. He was once a Sith…and to his friends they didn't know what to do with that information.
Only able to hold their breaths and bite their lips as more information began to stream into them. "You weren't there Jet…the Mandalorians were slaughtering us by the millions, the millions." He draped his hand over, stretching to show the expanse of worlds as his words flew through his mouth. "You weren't there on Cathar, when the Mandalorians rounded up civilians and executed them like animals. You weren't there on Duro when Mandalorian basilisk rained from the sky like meteors…or what about Eres III, the fires the Mandalorian Neo Crusaders set on that jungle world. The fires that burn till this day…"
Jet was instantly silenced. Tucking his elbow deeper into his shirt as he let out a heavy breath. Turning away from his master's gaze as he once again was forced to hear the truth of his ignorance.
Katara inched closer. Her dark blue eyes peering at Ben. "Yet, you joined them. You left your friends and chose to follow Revan."
Ben slowly nodded his head. "Yeah, I was maybe eleven or thirteen around that time. My memories are really foggy around that time, but I know that Alek who would later on be known as Malak sought me out on Dantooine…"
"Why?" Sokka questioned. "If you were just a kid that…"
"I was powerful within the force, and it turns out Revan sent him after me. They needed as many Jedi as possible, especially ones that held great power within the force. So, in the end I left the confines of the enclave on Dantooine and choose to follow Revan and Malak…I left my friends." He took a deep breath, the memory of them watching him as he left them behind still vivid as he peered from Malak's starfighter window. "They decided to listen to the council and to wait…but in the end it turns out I was right…well Revan was right; we won the war just in time."
"What happened, during the wars…what caused you to fall?" Sokka asked.
Ben slowly sat down. His fingers clinging to his locks of wild hair. "We were loyal to Revan, that was enough. He was this figure, almost like he was this immaculate storm…a figure that you were willing to live and die for. My master, Meetra Surik informal of course trained me during the war and I was eventually made into a Jedi Knight."
A faint smirk etched along his face. His eyes untampered as the orange glow of the Sith began to lose its gleam. Yet, it lasted only a second. "Many people in the galaxy believe that it was after Malachor V…the final battle during the Mandalorian wars that led to our fall, but that is wrong. Before Malachor, during the middle of the Mandalorian Wars, that was when the teachings of the Sith began to spread through our ranks."
A dark gleam overtook him. His breath hollow as the cold etches of the dark side sunk into his back like a knife. Inching him closer. "I don't know what happened, but things began to change within us. The heart of the light that was within us was shrouded by darkness, and after each battle…each kill it grew only darker. Malachor V was simply the last step…"
Aang quivered at Ben's words. Violent, hateful, guilt. Raging emotions within him as the young airbender brought his gaze towards the teenager that vowed to protect him. "Why didn't you leave? You could've…"
"Don't be naïve, Aang." He snapped. "The Jedi, they don't take prisoners. They would've punished me for what I did during the wars…either execute me or sever my connection to the force."
"What…you can do that?" Katara asked. Her eyes widening in alarm at such a power.
"It's a horrible thing to do to a person…like striking them blind, but I didn't want to risk it. I had nowhere else to go. I was scared and alone, I didn't know what else to do. Revan and Malak, had already started moving our fleet to the Korriban sector…and my master she was…I was already too far gone at that point, but it only got worse when we reached Korriban." Taking a deep breath, wincing in alarm as his arm stilled along his mechanical arm. "Korriban was home to Sith knowledge and what many believed was to be the birth of the Sith. Malak and Revan saw my potential, and I was trained to be a warrior of the Sith."
He could remember those days back then. The rush of adrenaline as his duel cyan blades slashed through the ancient creatures of the dark side. Watched by Malak as he would urge me on, giving him true strength in which his power lied within.
"I was afraid and scared. I didn't know what else to do…Revan and Malak told me of the power I held and that I could be something greater. So, I welcomed the ancient teachings of the Sith and I was transformed into a Marauder. That was around the time the Jedi and the republic learned of our existence…and when they stared to attack during the Jedi Civil War. I held so hatred, such mind-numbing hatred towards them that I…"
His breath was rasped, his team mates each horrified as they stared at him. Ben's sweat was reeling down his brow as his eyes dragged along the crackling flames of the dying fire.
"I started killing Jedi, a lot of them. Hunting, assassination, battle…I thrived in those moments. The Mandalorians taught me war and I welcomed it. I failed my mother, and I became the son my father truly wanted me to become."
The words stunned them, there hearts skipping a beat at the confession. Ty Lee's heart throbbing as she stared at him. The Benjamin that she saw, the one that had saved her and comforted her…
"Why did you leave, in the end?" Aang voices stunning them all. There eyes raising towards him as they all began to remember once again. That he was a child soldier, and in the end, he chooses the light and abandoned the teachings of the Sith.
"I was on a Sith dreadnought during the middle of the war, Revan's personal ship. I don't remember how but that Jedi that found me all those years ago found me again. I don't know how…maybe it was simply the force that brought us together again." He chattered, his own glare not easing off the flames. It had to be the force that brought them together again, it was ironic in a crude way. The one that brought him to the force would be the same one who would redeem him in the end. "She told me that she saw a vision of me or something, saw me doing something important and that she couldn't explain."
"What happened?" They asked hesitantly, though they could see the regret already eminatinig from his face. His eyes wincing at the words as he slowly raised his gaze off the flames and to them.
"She was a Jedi, and I did what I did with all the Jedi…I dueled her, and I hurt her bad…"
The seeering smell of burnt flesh, the humming of his two cyan blades as he heard her neck slowly creak as he adjusted his hold along her. "…and when I was just about to cut her down. She did something to me, made me see from her own eyes."
He could remember the way he dropped her body. The way his lightsaber blades were enveloped within his hilt as the blade collapsed from his hands. The way the darkness eased from him as he fell to his knees, pawing at the robes of the woman that had saved him.
"I was so horrified that I severed myself off from the force…I cut myself off from it so suddenly as I watched her die. Her last act, the act of a true Jedi. She gave up her life for me using all her remaining strength to show me what I had become…she saved me, me…" He repeated, the words almost feeling untrue as they parted from his lips. His heart hammering along his chest as he wrapped his arms around himself to seek any sort of comfort. "Just like my mother…that woman gave up her life for my salvation, and like the pitiful and selfish child I was I failed her again. In the end, she died for me…for me…and I felt it too. Before, my emotions and actions were in a haze. Almost like watching someone control my body as all I could do was watch. Yet now it all came spilling out. Fear, self-hatred…guilt. It all came out and I couldn't control the feelings anymore."
They watched him with widened eyes. This was the truth…the old Ben that they wanted to learn of. Yet, none of them were prepared to hear what he truly once was.
"So, I left. Stole a ship and made a break for it, obviously that failed. I tried to hit to lightspeed, but my coordinates were messed up and the engine was damaged. I accidently slipped into a black hole and spewed out into this universe. I crashed here on this planet maybe a full year ago. Bill, the man that told you, Aang to save me. Once again, he saved me from drowning in that river. A couple days later I awoke, and Bill told me about what was going on in this world. He told me about the fire nation and the status of this world, he even saw a couple of times my powers within the force. He tried to implore me to reconnect to the force and join the revolution, but I was against it. I was honestly sick of it all, the incessant war and battle that has defined my life. I filled my life with vices, drinking and smoking, I honestly wanted to die back then. I was sick of it, my life. I wanted no more of Jedi, Dark Jedi, or the force. I just wanted to be left alone and die in peace."
"Then, I met you all. It took me a while, but I decided to follow you and walk the path of the Jedi once again. Maybe, I thought that this was my calling and the reason I crashed on this world. Maybe, I was sent here by the force to restore balance and to save this world…"
He looked up from the fire. Watching their expression, feeling their emotions as they hummed like the ash that rolled off from the dying flames. His heart throbbing as he already knew…
"I didn't want to tell you this…I wanted this to be a hidden secret that I would deal with for the rest of my life. It was simply my own weight to bear. But, if Arya and Rowan capture you or put ideas in your head that aren't true, it can lead to your deaths, and I don't want that…"
He stopped speaking, there wasn't anything more to say. Ben had emptied out all his secrets as he led his heart bare for his team to hear. There eyes were widened, their fingers along their mouths as they simply sat along the fire.
There hearts hammering along their chest as Ben simply watched, not even one could say a word. He slowly narrowed his eyes, not in a glare but in the way someone very tired would do. Slowly shutting them as he already knew, rather he expected it.
"Alright…" He slowly murmured. He began to walk, grabbing his satchel as he began to enter the woods. The harsh forest already consuming him as he began to feel the etch of the cold whirl along his face.
No, it wasn't the cold…it was the tears that spilled from them and down his cheeks. Yet, Ben failed to pick up on what team avatar was thinking. Instead of sticking around to hear their answer, he believed that silence was their answer.
A horrified silence of being a monster…so he took what he believed as rejection as he left the forest. His heart along his chest as he carried with him the memories of the fallen. A part of him believed that they had chosen to abandon him, that they would try to restore balance themselves.
Yet, he wasn't a fool…
They would surely die without him on there side or worse get captured. Even if they had rejected him, he still wanted what was best for them. So, he waited a good couple of minutes and sunk himself into the force. Calling Appa forward as he heard the Bisons roar echoing along his ears. Landing as he took along the reins and beelined towards the fire nation vestal that housed the other remnants of his past.
He was going to end this…here and now…
Ben's face was illuminated by the rising sun. The orange pinkish gleam broadcasting over his facial features as he stared at the fire nation camp and ship ahead. They had been gone for what must have been a day or two, but they had repaired a great percentage of the camp.
He could see the medium sized fire nation war ship. It stood apart from its similar brethren with a more ornate golden hinges and deeper red coloring. His satchel was left behind, the Holocrons were safely stashed and concealed deep into the fabric of Appa's saddle.
Ben's robes and lightsabers helplessly swayed in the heavy set of wind as the tendrils of hair clashed along his vision. Letting out a deep sigh as he turned towards Appa. Resting his hand along the base of the creature's fur as he let out an exhausted breath.
"Go back to them…Appa." He slowly whispered, a tint of force energy welling within him as he contacted the beast mind. Yet, he felt the animal fight against it. Almost like he was able to tell in his primitive mind that he was about to lose him…forever.
Yet, he felt that such a thing would hold truth. He prodded deeper until the beast left, breaking into a powerful roar as he watched him vanish within the clouds. Now, it was simply the lightsaber along his thigh and the robes that protected his body.
Appa was partially right…the plan he had in his head right now, he doubted that he would live to see the end of it. Yet, that truthfully didn't bother him. He knew that he wasn't going to die old or in bed, Jet and Haru were trained enough to rebuild the order, but it was his job as the only true Jedi to deal with this final portion of the journey.
"Benjamin, what are you doing here?"
He could hear the strange sounds of his master. The pleading within her voice as he turned around to meet her gaze. "I told them, I told them everything…"
"…and?" She questioned, hoping for a way to connect to him. Too soothe his worries or what they had said so he wouldn't go back to the old Ben.
"Nothing…they said nothing. I poured everything out to them, and they were so horrified they were stunned." Ben spoke, a faint chuckle emptying from his lips as he slowly shook his head at the absurdness from the situation. "There is no way they would allow me to travel with them anymore. So, I am going to do what I must to save this world. I don't want them to get hurt."
"What?" She emerged, running towards Ben. "They didn't say anything, Ben. How do you know there reaction maybe they…"?
"Meetra, do you honestly believe any normal person would still want me after what I told them?" He slowly closed his eyes walking back towards the cliff edge as he overwatched the ships ahead. "Now, all I can just do is finish the job that the force has given me."
"What, how are you going to…"
Ben's eyes slowly began to change. The golden orbs began to shift into the euphoric reddish eyes of the true Sith. His feeling within the force began to etch into the darkness below, the whirling feeling nearly extinguishing all the light that was within him as he unclamped his mouth.
"I plan to join the Sith. I will pose as a Sith Student to Darth Ruin and my old friends and join the academy…" He swiftly turned back to Meetra, horrified to already see the Sith deterioration slowly consuming him. "I will gain their trust…then I shall murder the lords of the Sith, and then deal with Fire Lord Ozai and put an end to this war."
"No, Ben. Going over to the dark side and trying to play both sides…it won't work."
Before, many months ago during the start of there journey when Ben did fall to the dark side but was ultimately saved by team avatar, he in his Sith delusions created this plan. He would've murdered Kiara and took her lightsaber and had his revenge for Bill. Yet, this time he wasn't fully consumed and if he played his cards right…
Ben snapped his head forward. His fingers tightening as he locked along the steel ship. "How? The plan is full proof. They shall take me hostage, and they will believe they turned me but they…"
Meetra was horrified, this was insane. Ben had grown in strength, had made leaps in bounds in his training. He was already a very powerful warrior of the force but due to necessity he had to learn far greater tricks. Yet, he was by no means ready to challenge a true Lord of The Sith, or even great Bendors like Fire Lord Ozai.
He felt another figure, a powerful mass of light side energy appearing to his side as he slowly turned. Ulic Qel Droma, the great spirit appearing once again to Ben. "It won't work because I did the same thing, Benjamin." He pointed towards the ships, no past them. Deeper within the fire nation. "I infiltrated a dark side cult to try and defeat them from the inside, but you can't do this. The dark side, it can never be beaten from the inside and if you walk that path there can be no hope for redemption…"
Ben didn't care, not anymore. What more did he have to lose now? Darth Ruin was obsessed before on taking him as his apprentice and if Ben was willing to submit then…
"There is a difference between me and you Ulic. I've lived within the dark side of the force, and I've always been caught between both sides. Nothing shall stop me from achieving my goal."
Ulic began to disappear, same as Meetra. It was already obvious what was beginning to happen to both masters. This was Ben, a person that needed to learn the mistakes of his actions or he would simply keep going. They could be out there for hours, but he would refuse to stop when he had set his mind on something. Even if it was as foolish as something like this, he would forever push himself forward to reach these goals, even if it destroyed him in the end.
"Remember, Benjamin. You have not trusted in the people that you have fought aside with for months on end…maybe their answer would surprise you. But, please think on Ulic's tale, the dark side isn't something to play with…fall back before you truly do fall."
With those parting words the specters of old vanished. Now it was simply Benjamin, alone. Taking a deep breath as he stared once again behind him. Imagining those figures from before, those trifling chains as they…
Yet, he didn't. He began to move along the cliffside. The orange glow of the Sith carrying in his movements, the dark side his ally, fueled by the sins of his past and the hate he carried. He moved through though those plains as he carried the blessing of the force, an ancient power that he would use to put an end to a hundred-year war. For he carried his lightsaber, a grand weapon. A weapon that for millennia had changed worlds…a weapon that defined him.
'I've killed so many people, their faces practically blur together. I can't come back from this; the anger is still within me and offers me such great strength. Yet, right now as I willingly give myself to the Sith, I feel no fear. Even when I die, I know that the Jedi shall live within this sacrifice of mine…we have been through far worse and survived. Jet, Haru, Teo…Ty Lee. They now hold the Heart of The Jedi Order and within them, the Jedi shall return. I know this because I am the Last of The Jedi. The son of a Mandalorian slaver, the son of the force sensitive woman…Madelil Wilum. For I am Benjamin Wilum…and for once…I understand my place within the force and shall finally have what I desire…redemption.'