Chapter 6: If It's Not Destroyed, Don't Change It

Although Willow's funeral was rather late in the day, there were still a few slivers of daylight left in the sky, and Angel wanted to go to the burial site beforehand to find a significantly shady spot where he could stand during the ceremony.

Unfortunately, he hadn't mentioned this until he wanted to leave, and Cordelia was nowhere near ready to go at that point.

Feeling slightly irritated at the vampire, she had shoved him and Groo out of her room to where Connor was standing in the hallway and told them to go; she could walk to the cemetery and needed to finish getting ready.

Muttering under her breath about men and vampires and do they have any idea how hard it is to walk in heels, she finished getting dressed, settling on the black dress with long sleeves. After putting on her heels and grabbing her purse, she headed out, walking alone in Sunnydale for the first time in ages.

Thanks to the fact Cordelia had gotten used to LA's traffic in the last three years, the few cars in Sunnydale's streets were odd, but also comforting in a way.

…Until they suddenly froze.

"Don't be–" Cordy jumped at the sudden voice and spun around. "Frightened," the spiky demon finished.

"It's a little late for that," Cordelia remarked, her heart pounding.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "You remember me? I'm…"

"Skip," she finished. "Yeah. You tend to remember your demon guides. What's going on?"

"I think you know."

Her eyebrows shot up. "I'm dying?"

"No!" he said, utterly flustered. "No. You're not - dying."

Significantly calmer, she gave him a look and lightly punched him in friendly annoyance. "Say that part first!"

"Sorry," he said, and he launched into a speech that sounded memorized. "It's not the end. It's the beginning. You're a great warrior, Cordelia. The battle that we're all a part of is fought on many different planes and dimensions. You've outgrown this one. You've become - a higher being."

Cordelia's eyes widened again, but for a very different reason. "Me?" she squeaked.

"You," he said, sounding completely serious. "You took on the visions, and even when you could have traded them in for a happy, normal life. Even when they were killing you, you wouldn't let them go. The big test came when the Powers made you part demon. Power corrupts. And they gave you a lot of power."

"The glow-y thing," she said, feeling a bit light-headed.

"Which you used well," he continued. "To fight evil – to heal Connor."

"And only one time as a night-light," she remarked, before noticing Skip's befuddled expression. "Er, bad dream." She shook her head, trying to focus on the conversation in front of her. "Skip, I… I don't understand."

"I think you do."

"It's ridiculous," she said, slightly pacing. "I'm just a somewhat normal girl, who," Cordelia paused. "has visions, glows, and occasionally blows things up with her crazy new power." Skip looked at her. "I'm a higher being." She wanted to sit down. This was just too much.

"Yes," was his only response.

"And," she continued. "When you say I've… outgrown this level, that sort of implies..."

"You're moving on to a new one."

"Now I'm really scared." She… she couldn't leave. Could she?

"I know," he said. "But I also know you're ready."

She shook her head. "Oh, no, I'm not."

"The universe begs to differ," he told her. "And I think, deep down…"

Cordy took a deep breath, before she stopped, and let out her air in a sigh. "Look, I… I think I get it. And maybe, given time, I could get used to the idea, but… I have a funeral to get to."

He nodded. "I know."

She froze. "Is this– This is a test. Isn't it?"

"Yes."

Cordelia frowned. "Then I guess I failed."

Skip seemed to jerk, shocked at her response.

"What you're being called to," he told her, "Is more important than a funeral, or even your friends' current mission. It's the most important thing you could do."

She gave him a biter-sweet smile. "And the answer's still no."

She turned around and started walking.

"You would give up the chance to do something this important, to fulfill your destiny, to be nice to a dead girl you hadn't seen in a year?"

"What can I say?" she responded. "I guess I'm still too selfish."

She owed it to Willow to go to her funeral. And to be completely honest, she didn't think she could have left her friends, either.

The cars started moving again, and Cordelia found herself at the funeral just on time. She squeezed Angel's shoulder in comfort as she passed to sit next to Groo, and couldn't yet find it in her to regret the decision.

†

Xander felt numb. He had known Willow was dead for days now, but it was different now that he was standing next to the Rosenbergs, watching the plain, pine coffin sink into the ground.

This was the third time one of his best friends had died.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Buffy comforting a crying Dawn, and for the first time since he had learned she had been in heaven, he felt no guilt. He didn't know how he would have survived if she wasn't here.

He had told Buffy moments before Willow's death that he didn't know what he would do without the two of them, and now he only had one.

The funeral ended, and the Rosenbergs left, retreating to the safety of their home to mourn their daughter. People Xander hardly knew trickled out until those who knew about the supernatural began to be in the majority. Even Anya, who stayed more to the side, was staying for an extra moment. Cordelia came over to him, and touched his arm as the Finns (whose emails had been found among Willow's files) left, with Riley only having a brief exchange with Buffy.

"Hey Xander."

He didn't look up from the mound of dirt. "Cordelia."

She hesitated. "I'm sorry," she finally said. "That she died. That you have to go through this again."

"It… It was was different with Buffy. Will… She came up with the resurrection plan so soon after she died, we hardly had time to mourn."

She shook her head. "I… I wasn't entirely talking about Buffy."

This got him to look up.

"What?" she said, the tiniest of smiles forming. "You think I would forget a guy I went to school with for a decade?"

He shrugged, and she continued to stand next to him.

Cordelia was… different than she was in high school. More mature, but he had a feeling the snarky girl he knew was still under the surface; she had just learned the meaning of tact.

He felt his gaze drift over to Anya. They made eye contact, but she immediately broke away and started to leave. His eyes followed her, before he noticed two people approaching him.

"Xander?"

He felt a small smile form.

"Mr. and Mrs. McNally."

Cordelia turned to look at them, but stepped a bit further to the side to give them a bit of privacy.

Mrs. McNally smiled as she looked at him. "You grew up."

Xander ducked his head. "Yeah."

"I'm so sorry about Willow, dear."

"Thank you."

The group of three moved over to the chairs nearby and sat down.

"How are you two doing?" Xander asked.

Mrs. McNally shrugged, and her husband responded, "Alright." It was then that Xander truly noticed the wrinkles and gray hairs that had formed in the six years since their eldest son's death.

"Thank you for coming," he told them.

"You invited us," was Mr. McNally's simple answer.

He shrugged. "It was what Willow would have wanted."

"You're not alone, are you dear?" the woman who had acted like a mother to Xander's middle school self asked.

He shook his head. "No. I still have Buffy, Dawn and Tara." He wished he could put Anya on that list. Heck, he'd feel better if he could add anyone to that list, but everyone seemed to have died or left.

But Mrs. McNally smiled. "That's good. No one should be alone."

†

Dawn had spent most of the funeral crying on Buffy, but after it ended, she had decided it would be better to go comfort Tara, leaving Buffy free to give Giles a hug.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course," he answered. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to arrive."

Buffy shrugged. "Demons are a legitimate reason to miss your flight." She was quiet for a moment. "Are… Are you going back to England after this."

He looked upset, but still nodded. "I've been in contact with a coven of witches, who told me I will be needed in Europe."

Buffy nodded, but looked over at where Oz was having a conversation with an almost unrecognizable Wesley.

"Thanks for Oz's number," she said.

"Of course."

She hesitated before asking her next question. "Has Angel talked to you at all this year?"

He shook his head and gave her a questioning look. "No, he has not. Is there any particular reason you're asking this?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing."

After a moment, he seemed to mentally drop the subject. Unfortunately, his next one wasn't much better.

"Where's Spike?"

She frowned, and shrugged. "Not sure. Apparently he left town. He can stay away forever as far as I care."

He nodded. "Do you have any idea why this would be?"

Maybe because he finally realized he crossed a line?

"Not sure."

He nodded, and, mercifully, was probably the only person who didn't look like he wanted to push on the Spike subject. But then, she thought, he didn't know what had been going on the last year.

She pushed away her bitter thoughts and went to collect Dawn so they could go home.

And we've made it to the funeral.

Cordelia and Skip's scene was sort of difficult, even though most of it was copied straight from 'Tomorrow' (although I messed with some of it because it sounded stilted and boring). I'm not quite sure what Cordelia was thinking in that scene in canon, so I decided that she's trying not to be selfish, which is why she was willing to leave her friends, and she considers talking to Angel about her feelings to be selfish, whereas paying her respects to Willow is more selfless. Having her walk away was extremely satisfying, though.

We've got another Jesse reference, which makes me happy, even though the scene itself is sad. My version of Xander really has problems with losing people.

Giles is pretty out of the loop at the moment, and he's stuck in England, bring him back towards his canon path, with the exception being he's less informed about the years events than canon Giles. The Finns and Wesley also make brief cameos, which was fun, if pretty unimportant.