So, I totally meant to get my dragon Au out but this kinda took over in terms of which I wanted to get done so here's a bookstore AU! And with the feedback I had only my one-shot of a trans Shouta I feel confident I did good with a trans Hizashi! Of course, this is not to sexualize transgender people in any way and I hope that, again, I do justice and I did good in terms of a transgender man! I truly don't mean disrespect which is why I hesitate at times to include transgender characters because I don't want to misinterpret or talk out my ass before doing it if that makes sense. But yeah! Bookstore Au! Please feel free to check this out! 😊 Until we meet again ❤️
Hizashi was all too used to bad days. He was used to his day and schedule going to hell; it was easy to keep an open mind knowing that anything could happen. Nothing was set in stone. But he couldn't deny that it was frustrating. Standing in his kitchen, the birdsong outside of the kitchen window, did little to soothe his nerves. He stared at his coffee pot that refused to turn on no matter how many times he tried pressing the button. Was it dead? He wanted to groan. To whine and shout until the damn thing turned on for him.
Did he use it too often? Did he leave it on overnight and it burnt out? He'd been trying to balance his caffeine intake with teas in the afternoons, but nothing beats a coffee first thing in the morning. It had him groaning as he let his head hang forward with fingers drumming over the counter. He had to get Hitoshi up for school along with Izuku and he needed to get them out the door. Get breakfast on the table. But he was fried. He wanted to sleep in. He wanted coffee. He needed something to wake him up.
It had his jaw tightening when he blew out a slow breath when he pushed off the counter. It was fine. He knew there was a coffee place close to work so surely, he could stop in and grab a coffee before opening the store, couldn't he? It would be going out of his way, but it would still mean he got his caffeine fix. Sighing to himself, he pushed off the counter to shuffle over to the fridge which he tugged open. Tamagoyaki, some salmon he had out from the other morning, could all be cooked up quickly.
He could get some steamed rice going but the miso soup wasn't going to happen so early in the morning, but he was sure with a few breakfast options would be better than nothing for his sons. Grabbing then cradling the pack of eggs in his arm, he grabbed the milk, the pack of remaining shredded cheese, and a bell pepper and tomato for his own omelet. Placing them onto the counter, he reached up into the cabinet to grab a mixing bowl then plucked his whisk out of the holder before him on the counter.
Shuffling back to the fridge, he grabbed at the remaining salmon he had and then shut the door with his foot. Placing it down, he plucked a pan hanging low beneath the counter up onto the stove to which he leaned forward to flip the burner on. Turning on his feet, he rushed across his kitchen to the pantry. Grabbing at the rice and the cooker he had sitting on the floor, he shuffled back into the kitchen. Placing it down on the kitchen table, he took the rice over to the sink and then shuffled over to grab a pot.
Pouring the rice in, he began the task of washing it. God, he wished he had his coffee to sip on but it some mornings he just had to grin and bear it. Sighing out, he let his gaze flick to the digital clock on the stove where he scanned over the glowing red numbers on it. Six-thirty. It had him groaning low in his throat at the sight of the numbers when he turned his attention to the rice. Once the water ran clear, he turned on his feet to open up the rice cooker to scoop the rice into then rushed back to the counter.
Opening the cabinet to grab the measuring cup which he then filled with water before rushing over to the table. Pouring the water into it, he closed the top then shuffled around the table to plug it into the closest plug then rushed back around the kitchen with hair fluttering around his face. Turning it on, he then made his way back to the counter to flip open the egg carton where he then began to pick up and crack eggs into the bowl. The quiet sound of the shells cracking open as he tugged out the trash.
He cracked nine large eggs into the bowl before flipping the egg carton shut. Beating them together with the whisk, he dumped the rest of the cheese into the eggs. A mere handful of cheese was all he had left to work with, and it certainly wouldn't harm anything, would it? Mixing it together quickly, he then shuffled over to the stove where the heat from the burner washed over him. And taking a deep breath, he reached over to grab a spatula then set to work on making the tamagoyaki. Normally he didn't feel so rushed in the mornings.
Normally, he could cook breakfast and sip his coffee without breaking a sweat. Get them all out the door before they begin to worry about being late for school. To be late opening his shop up. And yet today he felt absolutely frazzled as he shuffled about the kitchen with the rice cooking behind him. He knew that he should have gotten the miso soup at least prepped last night for them to have but not every morning went smoothly. He just had to thank God he had the foresight to make their lunches the previous night.
Making quick work flipping the first layer of egg, he poured in his egg mixture which he then got to work on making the second layer with careful flips. He could get this done without batting an eye yet today there was a light shake in his hands. A frazzled energy snapping over him as he worked on the third layer of the tamagoyaki. Making quick work on the fourth layer, he listened to the sizzle of the cooking eggs as he hummed quietly to himself when he let the layer, like the previous three, cook through.
A slightly solid layer before flipping it together. Hitoshi always liked his tamagoyaki thinner with four layers while Izuku liked his much thicker with five layers. After swirling the tamagoyaki along the pan to give it a few minutes of cooking time, he reached over into the cabinet to get both of his kids section plates and placed them down. Scooping the rolled-up egg, he placed it on Hitoshi's purple plate when he came back to the stove to pour the first layer of Izuku's breakfast into the pan with a low hum.
He could handle today, he knew he could, but he couldn't deny his coffee pot dying was not on the list on how he wanted his morning to go. As he rolled up that first layer and plucked the bowl up to pour in the second layer, he caught the quiet pattern of feet coming down the hallway. He glanced over just in time to see Hitoshi shuffling into the kitchen doorway. The six-year-old looked absolutely exhausted as he rubbed at his eyes with small fists with indigo hair sticking up wildly from rubbing over the pillow.
And then large purple eyes were blinking at him curiously as small hands remained fisted as they dropped down near his stomach. Hitoshi was only six years old, yet he knew the boy was hardly what one would call a morning bird. The indigo haired child would be guzzling coffee in the mornings before either of them would know it and it had him smiling softly at the child. Wavering in the doorway with his pajama's still on, he noted the left pantleg had ridden up higher than the left during the night.
He then cleared his throat as he quickly rolled up the second layer. "Hey, kid, is your brother up yet? Or is it just you?"
"Just me. What're you doin'?" He smiled when Hitoshi then padded forward with a curious sparkle to his gaze as small hands then reached out to grab at his pant leg from behind as Hitoshi's head came to rest on his side. Watching him as he poured the egg in for the third layer of Izuku's tamagoyaki. Small fingers plucked at the fabric of his pants when he felt a face nuzzling itself into his hip when he glanced down in time with Hitoshi tipping his head back. "Can I help?"
"I'd love nothing more for you to help, bud, but I'm almost done!" He looked away when Hitoshi's lip pushed out in a pout as hands tightened on his pant leg when he began to flip the third layer together and he picked the bowl up for that fourth layer when he got a whine from the six-year-old. No doubt protesting his polite rejection, he placed the bowl down then reached down to comb his fingers through wild indigo locks. "Why don't you help me by going to wake your brother up, hm? Can you do that for me, Toshi?"
"Mhmmmm!"
He smiled when he felt a nod against his hip before the six-year-old was pulling away to pad across the kitchen back towards the hallway he'd appeared from. Rolling up the fourth layer, he hummed as he poured the remaining egg mixture into the pan. Letting it sit for a moment before placing the roll in and began flipping it quickly. Once he got it finished, he placed the steaming egg roll on the Izuku's green plate before turning back to the eggs to flip open the container for two eggs for himself.
Cracking them in the bowl, he scrambled them quickly when he reached for the remaining salmon before shuffling over to the fridge handle then tugged it open with a suction. He reached in for the milk, a slice of cheese, and a singular bell pepper and tomato before shutting the door with his foot. He then set the butter down with the salmon balanced on top when he reached up to get a plate for himself from the cabinet. Humming under his breath as the light spilling across the kitchen floor began to strengthen.
He grabbed a knife and got to work quickly on cutting then dicing his tomato and bell pepper into fine chunks before pouring it into his omelette mixture then broke apart his slice of cheeks to mix into it. He poured it into the pan with a sizzle when he bent down to grab a smaller pan for the rest of the salmon he had left. Opening the container, he glanced over the pink meat; eyeballing it even if he had only opened it last night before he turned the burner for the smaller pan on. Placing a small dollop of butter in the pan.
He then scratched his calf with his other foot when he ran the spatula along the underside edges of his omelet. Humming under his breath, he could hear the soft sound of Hitoshi waking Izuku. The childish banter that only two six-year-olds could have together had him smiling as he slid his spatula under the edge again before flipping it in half then sliding it to sit in the middle of the pan. The butter in the smaller pan for the salmon sizzled quietly, gaining his attention when he began swirling it around the pan.
Just to ensure the fish wouldn't stick to the pan when he picked up the container to dump the remaining fish into the pan. Sizzling deafeningly, it filled the kitchen with that popping crackle when he turned his attention back to his pan with his omelet in it. Shaking the pain lightly causing it to jiggle, he placed the pan back down to reach into the cabinet to grab a plate of his own. Placing it down, he scooped up his omelet and placed it onto his plate then turned the burner off then sliding the pan into the sink.
He could hear the quiet beep of the rice cooker behind him when he turned his attention to grilling the salmon. A typical morning without the added coffee he wanted. It had him sighing out as he lifted the pan to shake it lightly causing the salmon to flip and roll before placing it back down. His mothers had warned him against taking in two boys after adopting Hitoshi at age three. The same age as his own adoption by his mothers'. He'd sworn he could handle it when he opened himself up to be a foster parent again.
Doing so only to find Izuku Midoriya being placed into his care. He could remember from his records it had something to do with both parents being in the States and no family to take the boy in. He knew that push comes to shove, his parents would come back to take custody of him but from what he heard? From what the worker told him? It was more than likely Izuku would be placed for permanent homing. He could only hope it would be with him as he truly couldn't think of his mornings with seeing the green-haired boy.
To hear him playing with Hitoshi. His mothers had warned him, more out of worry than bias, that two rowdy boys would drain him both financially and energy-wise. That it would be hard to be a single parent of two boys. And he couldn't deny it was indeed hard. Waking in the morning, remembering who liked what and who wanted what? Having two boys with wildly different personalities and preferences? It was damn hard. But he loves them. He loves his boys. He couldn't imagine his life having gone any other way.
At least in terms of having children and being a father. He'd begun poking his nose into how to gain sole custody of Izuku given both mother and father were out of state for a year now. He found himself scrolling online about how long they'd need to begone before he could petition for termination of parental rights. How easy or hard it would be to adopt Izuku. However, what his mothers had failed to tell him was how he would have such little time for himself with two boys. They'd tried to be subtle about it.
Tried to warn him about being a single father of two young children but he'd been willingly deaf to their subtle suggestions. However, he hadn't expected himself to put his needs last. To not notice the stubble on his cheeks until Nemuri was pointing it out. The eyebags that came after a particularly long day chasing after both six-year-old. How tired he'd be. How his love life, once somewhat active when Hitoshi had been young, would come to a screaming halt with two sons. How it would go completely dead it seemed.
There was so much to having two sons that he hadn't expected one bit, but he wouldn't take it back for anything. Wouldn't change his mind for anything. But he couldn't deny that some nights he felt lonely. A bone aching loneliness that refused to be shaken off no matter what he did. There were nights when he wondered if dating was truly meant to be this hard with two young children. If he was screwed in the dating pool for being a single father. He wouldn't say his life revolved around wanting hookups.
That he resented his children when he wanted to bring a lover home. But it was normal to want sex, wasn't it? It was natural to want it when he felt touch starved? God knows he wanted someone. He wanted to feel desired by someone and he wanted to feel cherished. He wanted to have a lover who would sweep him off his feet and give him every little thing he'd been wanting since he adopted Hitoshi. Since he took in Izuku. He wanted a man, a woman, someone to come to him and give him what he so desperately needed.
Wasn't that human nature to some? To have someone who desired and loved them? To know they were lusted after? To have a lover throw him down only to straddle his waist with that heat in their eyes? He wanted to be kissed. To be touched. He wanted to kiss, touch, caress, and relish in the warmth of another person in his bed. He wanted to wake in the morning to a one night stand and have one last romp in the sheets before they left. Without the fear that his sons would come storming into his bedroom in the morning.
He didn't want to believe his dating life was dead just because he was a father. He blinked at the crack of the salmon as he tore himself out of his thoughts to focus on getting breakfast done when his eyes flicked up to the clock. He needed to get breakfast on the table then get Hitoshi and Izuku ready for the day. He didn't have time to stand around mooning over an imaginary lover. Imaginary scenarios. He stirred the salmon around the pan when he heard the light patter of two pairs of small feet making their way down the hallway.
Glancing over at the kitchen doorway, both Hitoshi and Izuku appeared in it to which he smiled. Hitoshi had changed out of his pajamas, but his shirt and pants were on backwards. Izuku was whining, struggling with his own shirt, as he tugged it down. Wild green curls sticking up wildly from his own sleep that brushed against pink cheeks. He couldn't help a smile as he pushed at the rapidly cooking salmon with a hum when Hitoshi padded across the kitchen again. Rushing over to hold onto his leg with his face nuzzling his hip.
And Izuku then rushed over with a quiet sound as he ran around him to then cling onto his left leg with his face pressing into his hip. Heads pressing against him with arms wrapping around him to cling onto him as he smiled down at the both of them adoringly. Putting his spatula down, he combed his fingers through wild indigo locks and green curls respectively earning himself wide eyes peering up at him. Green and purple eyes sparkled up at him with that quiet pride when he scratched gently at their heads.
"Why don't you both go sit down at the table and I'll help with your clothes, okay? Because you're both wearing them backwards, but I appreciate you getting ready for me!" Bright, beaming smiles were aimed up at him. The gap in Hitoshi's teeth from the loss of his front left tooth and the freckles on Izuku's cheeks were positively precious so early in the morning. They detached from his legs to rush for the table where chairs screeched as they were tugged at. "Are you guys excited to go to school today?"
"Yeah! The teacher's really nice, Dad, and she's suuuper pretty! Have you seen her? She looks really, um, beautiful I think it's called!" He smiled over his shoulder at the sparkle to Izuku's eyes as Hitoshi spoke when he turned his attention back to the salmon when the chair squeaked behind him. "And she's best friends with, um, Mister Toshinori! They're best friends, did you know that, Dad? He's also really, uh, strong! Buff! But he's not like the principle! But they both look really strong, right, Zu?"
"Yeah! They're suuuuper strong! But not like you, Dad!" God, it was adorable. So unbelievably adorable when he turned the burner off when he shuffled over to the counter. He grabbed his chopping scissors from the knife block and began to cut up their tamagoyaki into reasonable chunks when he began to dish out the salmon evenly. Once the pan was empty, he slid it into the sink, and he walked back over to the fridge to tug it open. "Dad, can we spend time at the shop today? When we come home?"
Grabbing at the ketchup bottle, he glanced over his shoulder again to find wide eyes on him when he shut the fridge door with his hip. Izuku and Hitoshi both loved the shop; they liked reading the children's books among themselves or running through the isles together only to duck behind the counter when customers came in. He smiled when he shook the bottle in his grasp before stopping before their plates as he cracked it open. "I don't see why not! But you know the rules, right? You both need to be good for today, okay?"
"We're always good, Dad!" He couldn't help a snicker under his breath when he squirted a small dollop of ketchup on each plate next to his husband's eggs before drizzling a lazy line of ketchup over his own omelet. Capping it, he placed the bottle down then reached out to pluck the spoon for the rice cooker up. "Oh! Oh, Dad, Zu's got a loose tooth! He was wigglin' it last night! Look at it! It's his sharp tooth! The dog one!"
"You mean his canine tooth?" Turning around with plates in hand, he raised his brow at the indigo haired six-year-old when he let his smile widen as he placed their plates down. Turning back around to shuffle back to the counter, he grabbed his plate when he then turned back to the table. Pulling out a chair, he reached across it to pop open the top of the rice cooker with a plume of steam. Using his spoon, Hitoshi and Izuku both held their plates up for a scoop of rice. "Izuku, you know who to tell if you're tooth falls out, right?"
"Mhmmm! I tell Miss Rumi or I go to the nurse!" Plates were dropped back to the table when he scooped rice onto his own plate before shutting the top. He then side stepped around his chair to walk back to the counters for what felt like he millionth time today this time to grab the training chopsticks for Izuku and Hitoshi. He grabbed his own pair before turning back to sit down where he pulled his chair in and handed them their trainers. "But what if it doesn't fall out at school? What if it falls out on-on the bus? Who do I give it too?"
Smiling as chubby fingers were pushed into the loops of their trainers, he used his own chopsticks to cut a bite of his omelet before scooping it up. "Well, in that case you tell the bus driver, buddy, or you hold onto it tight before coming into the shop and I'll hold onto it for you! Now, the only question is would you want to put it under your pillow for the tooth fairy? Or do you want me to handle all business transactions with the little lady myself?"
A giggle burst out of Izuku then as he picked up a piece of salmon while Hitoshi stuffed a mouthful of rice into his mouth. Bits of the rice clinging to the corners of his mouth when he sighed out before reaching over to flick a few pieces of rice off his cheek. He then returned to his own food to bring his rather decent bite of omelet up to pop into his own mouth. Izuku shifted in his seat before swallowing his mouthful then s poke. "I wanna put it under my pillow, Dad! Can I do that?"
"Of course you can, Izuku! Whatever you wanna do, bud, you can do it! Just make sure to tell me if your tooth falls out, yeah?" The green haired six year old nodded causing curls to bounce around his face. Brushing against pink cheeks when the boy then began to focus on eating his tamagoyaki and salmon while Hitoshi devoured his rice. God, what he'd do to have a cup of coffee with his breakfast. "Now, you guys eat up, yeah? Do you want something to drink with your breakfast?"
"Juice!" He smiled at the harmonized shout from both boys with rice spewing over the table from Hitoshi speaking through a mouthful. Clicking his tongue at the indigo haired boy, he watched a small hand come up to press against lips as Hitoshi began to focus on chewing and swallowing his food. And then Izuku was hopping out of his chair with a beaming smile up at him with a sparkle in his gaze. "I got it, Dad! I can do it! Do you want something to drink too?"
"I'm perfectly find, bud. You get that juice for you and Toshi, yeah? I moved your juice pouches into the bottom drawer so grab'em!" Izuku nodded before trotting over to the fridge as he cut off another piece of his omelet that he then brought up to his mouth. Devouring the piece, he found he was much hungrier this morning than he realized. Cutting off another piece, the suction of the fridge door opening was followed by the rattling drag of the drawer.
And then the drawer was shutting with the fridge being slammed shut with a rattle of the items within when he listened to the quiet slap of small feet over the floor. He glanced over when a juice bottle was held up to Hitoshi who took it from the other six year old who then ran behind him. Climbing up into his seat rather quickly where he settled into it when Hitoshi swallowed with eyes locking onto him. "Dad, we can we go see Grandma and Grams? I wanna go see'em because it's been a long time!"
He couldn't help a grin at his son. "How long has it been since you've seen Grandma and Grams, Toshi?"
"A loooooong time!" The six year old threw his arms out as if to emphasize how long it had been when his grin widened at the indigo haired child who squirmed in his seat before picking his trainer chopsticks back up. They were getting much, much better with them but practice was still required. Izuku cracked open his bottle of juice then lifted it up. "Zu wants to see'em too! Can we please go visit Grandma and Grams soon, Dad? They're gettin' old and they said they wanted to see us more last time! 'member? You remember too, Zu, right?"
"Yeah! They said they wanted too! Please, Dad?" He'd never find it heartwarming how quickly Izuku had caught on in recent times to calling him Dad. It was quite adorable hearing the green haired child chirping the word out without a bit of reluctance as those wide green eyes pleaded with him. The juice bottle was placed down with the chopsticks being picked up again. "Pleeeeaaaasse can we see Grams, Dad? Or Grandma? Pleaseeee?"
Grinning widely at his children as he popped two pieces of salmon into his mouth causing purple eyes to narrow at him while green widened. Chewing quickly, he swallowed when he watched Hitoshi tapping his chopsticks on the table with all the air of an impatient six-year-old -old. He then rested his chin on his hand when he grinned at his sons. "How about you do well with Miss Rumi and behave in the store and I'll see what I can do about us going to visit Grams and Grandma, okay? Or would you rather they come here?"
"I wanna go to theirs!"
A chirruped chorus from the boys had him humming when he chanced a glance up at the clock he had on the wall when he then crossed his ankles beneath the able. "Alright! If you guys behave today then we'll go to Grams and Grandma's, okay? Now eat up! You guys gotta head out for school soon and I need to get the shop open! So how about the three of us finish eating rather than babbling, yeah? And I still need to fix your clothes, get your shoes and backpacks ready! So eat up!"
"Okay!"
Tired. He was so unbelievably, unimaginably tired. Standing before his counter as he shut the drawer to his register, he arched his back only to catch a few cracks and pops as he groaned under his breath. His feet were killing him after standing on them for God knows how long. His morning had started off on an rather off note which had led to the rest of his morning being the same way. He'd struggled with getting Hitoshi to swap his clothes around when the boy then changed his mind on his outfit with Izuku following his lead.
Swapping outfits until he found on that both boys liked after throwing the dishes into the dishwasher had been hell. Getting shoes and backpacks on, it'd been a matter of waiting for the bus outside that came around the corner every day for the boys. His sons, however, seemed more restless the more alert they became with Hitoshi searching for bugs much to his dismay and Izuku wiggling at his tooth with his tongue. Both running about the front yard of their house when the bus had come chugging around the corner.
He'd gathered his sons up and helped them onto the bus where the doors shut just as he heard his green haired son chattering to the bus driver about his loose tooth. Hitoshi waving in the window at him with that bright smile of his. From there, he'd run back into the house to make sure the dishwasher was running, threw out his old coffee pot in the recycling, when he then decided to tidy up. Fussing with the living room and bedrooms where he scooped up clothing before running for the utility room to get a load of laundry in the wash.
Swapping out the load he'd put in the night before then throwing the new clothes in only to find he had just enough laundry detergent left for one load. He'd hemmed and hawed over the fact as he tossed the detergent bottles into the recycling after getting the load stared and the dryer going with a few dryer sheets. From there, he'd made sure their cats, Twix, Cappella, and Sterling had their bowls of food and water out for the day while he was gone. He'd then made sure to make sure the dishwasher was indeed running.
Fussing with the sink before opening the fridge door as well to make a mental note on the items he would need to grab while at the store that afternoon. An every growing start to a task list that he was putting on himself. The one thing he didn't want to do on a Monday morning but life didn't stop. Not for a single father with two kids who needed to have food in the fridge. He'd groaned over it but he knew he'd have to get shopping done sooner rather than later if he wanted to keep from using back log dinner ideas.
After fussing about with the state of the house until he was satisfied it would be fine for later, he'd gone to his bedroom. Rushing to his en-suit bathroom where he'd then thrown himself into the shower to clean up. If he couldn't have a coffee then a shower was the closest he'd get to waking himself naturally. From there he'd fussed with the few outfits he had left given how behind he was on his own personal laundry. After dressing, he was flying out of the house with a shouted goodbye to his cats at nine-thirty sharp.
It was only when he was driving to work did he realize his break pads were acting up which damn near crushed him. One thing after another seemed to be screaming for his attention today that he felt ready to turn around and go home. So many small things coming up that made him want to tear up and give up on running smoothly this Monday. How cliché was it that one thing after another would demand his attention? How many things could go wrong for him on one Monday? Why a Monday of all days did they have to happen?
God, he just wanted to forsake opening the shop today. He wanted to ask his mothers to take his kids for the night and lose himself in a bottle of wine for the night. He didn't want to have these tasks weighing him down but he knew there was little he could do about it. But he wanted to pause it all. To drink his stress away and run a hot bath to soak in. Instead, he'd swallowed down his frustrations when he'd parked and unlocked his shop which he then dusted down before turning the lights on. Flipping the sign around.
He'd been exhausted long before he had his first gaggle of customers had entered the small store. God knows his back was killing him after the shipments of book copies came an hour later that he needed to sign off on and drag to the back break room. Boxes that he would eventually deal with putting up on the shelves as soon as he could. Two hours into work was all he had under his belt and he was fried. He wanted to go home. He was damn tired after waking up so early in the morning without the aid of his coffee.
Getting his sons who, in their rights, were hyperactive six-year-old's had eaten up most of his patience after breakfast. When they refused to listen before the bus came and swapped through their outfits. There was a never ending task list laid out at his feet and fuck if it didn't seem impossible. If it all didn't seem like a daunting task that kept growing, growing, growing until he was drowning under it. Choking under it. He knew that much was tasks he took on himself willingly but God they were choking him.
Running from one place to the other, making phone calls, checking out customers with their purchases and making sure all was squared away with the mechanic for him to drop the car off. It was all tiring. Thinking of having two boys running around his shop after school? To go to the store with said boys so he could get laundry detergent and pods for the dishwasher? To stand in front of a hot stove cooking for the three of them? It was nearly enough to break him down. To think of going home to begin a new round of chores.
To unload the dish washer, get dinner on the table, and do the laundry while the boys did their homework. When they would inevitably make a mess of the front door was damn near enough to crush him. To leave him swaying on his feet at the multitude of tasks laid out at his feet for him to address. All clamoring for thier solutions. It was almost enough to make him sit on the floor of his shop and cry at the thought of his work he had no choice but to get done. Of the work he had for his radio show.
His substitute teaching job at the school Nemuri worked at that had emailed him the other day about substituting for two weeks while a teacher used their paternal time off. To think of the meeting for his radio show the next day while balancing all of this? There were days where he truly understand what his mothers meant that taking on a second child would be more work. Did he understand the subtleties of their suggestion that he not take on a foster child. He knew if he had a partner, a husband or wife, it would be easier.
So much easier than doing all of this on his own but some days he truly was grateful he had so much to do. Today had just started off on a sour note, he knew it did. It was a matter of chasing that golden lining to make his day better but he couldn't find it. Couldn't see even the silver lining to the situations of today. Standing before his counter as he placed the cash of the most recent purchases in the drawer, he groaned when he stretched his back again then twisted idly only to get a few pops in his back again.
A few from his knees. God, he was exhausted. He wished he could just go home and take a nap. To relax when he found himself glancing at his wrist watch with a sigh. He could take a break. A lunch break before resuming his work. He shuffled around the counter towards the front door as he put up the sign signaling his break. He then groaned as he rolled his shoulders back before walking back towards the counter when the door was busting open. The bells above it jingling viciously causing him to jump.
He whipped around with an inhale to scold the rude appearance when he found his words faltering at the sight of the dark haired woman standing in the doorway with a foot holding the door. Wild dark locks tugged into a low ponytail with bands framing her face as sky-blue eyes sparkled at him as she then shuffled in with a coffee tray in hand, a bag stuffed under her arm. Still in her work uniform from the coffee shop next door. The door swung shut with the lock being flipped into place when she then beamed at him.
"Zashi, my love, you look like absolute dog shit today! But never fear for I've got something to help you out!" Letting out a low groan, he turned to continue his shuffle behind the counter where he then noticed the woman skipping over to him with two coffees in hand with one being held out to him. He blinked before taking the coffee from the woman who smiled smugly at him. "Just looking at you makes me absolutely exhausted, you know that? You're in desperate need of a pick me up, aren't you?"
"My coffee pot died this morning so you know what? You're not wrong." He sighed out then lifted the iced coffee up as he stuck the straw between his lips to take a strong, long pull at it before groaning out as the woman hopped up onto his counter. Her smile wavering at the corners when he dragged his stool over to hop up onto when he pulled the straw out again. "God, Nem, you wouldn't believe the fucking morning I've had today! It started out fine but shit just seems to be hitting me at all angles, you know?"
"Spoken like a true father of two who runs a bookstore on his own." Raising his brows at Nemuri, the dark haired woman crossed her legs, her foot bobbing lightly when she took a pull at her own drink before pointing at him. "You need to hire staff! It can't just be you running the store on your own, Zashi, and you know it! You're putting all this pressure on yourself and you're going to snap if you're not careful! Why not hire a part time teen or something? You can afford it, can't you? Even if it's only one or two other hands?"
"Of course I can but I'm so used to doing this on my own I can't even think of having staff! The place is small enough that I don't think I need someone here!" Lifting his cup up, he took another pull on his iced coffee as the ice rattled about in the cup. It was damn good; something with a t race of vanilla. Of spice. Lowering it again with a sigh, he pressed his feet to the bars of the stood he sat on when the bag under Nemuri's arm was held out. "But I might just humor it, you know. I'd have to figure out pay though."
"That's easy! You know what, I have a few coworkers of mine that can help you! They're teens, of course, but they'd really help you out! Why not try them out for size?" He blinked hen he stuffed the coffee between his legs to open the bag only to find a croissant sandwich inside much to his delight. It had his mouth watering when he tugged it out of the bag to find himself awed. "You shouldn't have to do it all alone, you know! When's the last time you've been on a date? Out at all?"
"I don' wanna t'lk 'bout it." He mumbled through his mouthful of sandwich when he tightened his legs to keep the coffee cup from slipping out when Nemuri's bright eyes narrowed him as he chewed his mouthful. Here he was, no better than Hitoshi, with food in his mouth as he spoke. Swallowing the painful bite down, he then sighed out when he lifted the bun up enough to spot a pickle. "It's not for a lack of wanting to go out! Or to date! I just don't have time anymore and you know that!"
A frown pinched at red lips then when Nemuri tilted her head with her foot bobbing lazily. "I know that, but you gotta get out more! All work and no play makes HIzashi a dull boy! You should, at the very least, download a dating app again! Meet some new people or go to that Mom group that meets in the park! They take children of all ages and you could make some Mom or Dad friends! You just need to get out and do something other than running around playing Daddy all the time, you know? You deserve to live too, you know."
Ah.
It had his throat tightening when he took another bite of his sandwich to keep that emotion from washing over him. Nemuri wasn't wrong; he deserved to have a life. He deserved to have fun but how could he do that knowing he had two boys who depended on him? He knew it was easy but he didn't want to force his kids on anyone else. Chewing then swallowing his mouthful, along with that knot of emotion, he sighed out when he met Nemuri's gaze. "But I'm a father first, Nem, you know that! I can't just shove my kids on other people!"
"Yeah, but you also don't need to take a whole load by yourself." Fuck. He looked away when he picked his cup up to stick the straw between his lips to take one, two, long gulps before stuffing it between his thighs again. "You know Oboro and I wouldn't mind taking the kids for a night. I'm not saying run out and get dicked down or go on a bender for God knows how long! That's not what I'm saying at all but you need to live your life too, Zashi! Being a parent doesn't need to be your whole personality you know!"
"I know! But I have responsibilities and I can just run out and "get dicked down" as you said! I can't- Nem, I can't run around the way I used too before adopting Toshi! They depend on me to take care of them and everything I do will reflect on them someday!" That frown twitched on Nemuri's lips when then sighed out as he lifted his sandwich up before pausing. "What apps do you recommend for dating, then? I know I'm not touching Tinder with a five foot pole with the weirdos on there."
A hopeful little smile curled over her lips when she then lifted her own coffee up to take three strong pulls at it when he took another bite of his sandwich. The crunch of the lettuce and chicken had him humming as he lowered it to chew at his mouthful when the dark-haired woman's hopeful smile twitched higher. "Tell you what? I'll give you the name of the app I used before I met Oboro and I'll look up Dad or Mom groups for you to go visit with the boys, yeah? Find them some playmates their age outside of elementary?"
Swallowing his mouthful, he smiled at the woman. He knew that Nemuri meant well and that she only cared for him the way she did because it was true. While her and Oboro were child free with hope of changing in the future, the woman believed that a parent role should not be ones whole life. Their whole personality. And he could agree with it but he couldn't just be negligent to his role to Hitoshi and Izuku. "That'd be great, honestly. If I could find someone to do playdates and sleepovers with it would help now and again, you know, but-"
"You're burning out. I know, I can see it on you." Narrowing his gaze on the dark-haired woman, she smiled at him when he huffed at her to which her smile widened as she kicked at his knee. He swatted at her foot when it moved away quickly as she lifted her coffee up. "I'm not wrong! I'll see with Oboro what we can do about getting you a new coffee pot tonight before we come over! Because I love you, Zashi, I do but you look like death warmed over today! It's bad, babe, and yet here you are! Glowing after a few sips of coffee and some food!"
Taking a purposeful bite of his half eaten sandwich, he watched that smile widen of Nemuri's lips when she shifted in her spot. The ping from her phone had him blinking when she dug her phone out of her pocket with a hum as she sipped at her coffee. He chewed before swallowing his mouthful when he grabbed at his coffee to lift it up where he gulped at it before sighing out. "I love you, Nem, seriously! I meant to come over this morning when I opened but I got swamped. I still gotta few packages to unload and-"
"Are Izuku and Hitoshi coming here after school?" Nodding at the woman, she hummed before placing her phone screen down on the counter next to her leg. "Okay! How about you bring the little monsters over to the café and me and Oboro can watch them while you get the shelves stocked? And then when you're counting out the register we'll send them over to you for the rest of the afternoon and we can do dinner? Just the five of us if you want too?"
"That would be heaven sent, Nem, I don't think you understand! I have so much shit I gotta get done and I would appreciate you doing that for me so much!" He stuffed his coffee down again with a sigh as he then lifted his chicken sandwich up. "I have to call the mechanic too and have the car looked at. The bus stop isn't far from here, I told the driver this morning to drop them off at this stop rather than the one outside of the house so just make sure you're out there, okay? You're on the approved pick up list for them."
"Awww, how sweet! I feel honored!" The woman then jumped off of the counter with a beaming smile when she poked the tip of his nose. Stuffing another bite of his chicken sandwich into his mouth, she nodded with that smug smile. "Now, drink your coffee and enjoy your sandwich! Next time I'll bring you Oboro's famous cheesy waffle fries! I gotta get back to work and watch over the newer employees for the big man in charge! So please, enjoy your lunch and the next time you see me I'll have Oboro, Izuku and Toshi with me!"
"See ya la'er, Nem!"
He spoke around the new mouthful he stuffed into his mouth. Watching the dark haired woman making her way to the front door, flipping the lock on it then flitting out onto the sidewalk where she then disappeared from view. Nemuri always seemed to come around when he was struggling. As if she could sense he was mere second away from drowning under the crushing weights he put on himself. Always coming around when he was pushing himself to the breaking point. Coming to him like she was the voice of reason.
And he couldn't help but be grateful for the woman. Twenty-six years on this Earth had taught him nothing about taking on tasks that left him frazzled. Even adopting Hitoshi at the young age of twenty-three hadn't taught him a damn thing but the three years had. Three years that had taught him how much he could and couldn't take. Perhaps that's why he thought he could take on another child effortlessly. What a fool he was but he loved Izuku more than anything. Loved him just as much as he loved Hitoshi.
More often than not, the green haired boy was mistaken as a biological relation to him in the year he's had him. He was awed how freckles and green eyes could immediately allow others to jump to conclusions. All because he himself had green eyes and freckles, something Izuku shared. It was by far leaping bounds and leaps of assumptions by strangers. He'd felt absolutely heartbroken when he had caught Hitoshi early last year when he took Izuku in trying to press freckles on his cheeks with his eyeliner.
However, in the past year the indigo-haired boy had quickly warmed up to Izuku. A slow progress from resentful when his son would glare at Izuku when strangers tried asking if he was biological or adopted. But with slow progress, he could see how Izuku's sunshiny personality melted Hitoshi. At this point, he could see how close his son was to his foster brother. As if all this time it had been a mere moot point to fight against the cheerful sweetness of Izuku's personality. It was hard not to adore either boy.
Even his mothers adored the green haired child. It wasn't the worst thing if he looked into adopting the boy, was it? He didn't think so. Yes, he was tired today. Yes, Nemuri had made her points and had acted as the voice of reason about him living his own life. After all hadn't been thinking that morning he wanted a lover? That he wanted to get out more? That he wanted someone who could warm his bed? Someone he could adore and have a conversation with that didn't boil down to if mud was edible or not.
He adored his sons but he wanted and craved stimulation with adults. Perhaps that Mommy or Daddy group wasn't a bad idea to get himself into. He'd seen them advertised on Facebook and Instagram plenty of times to be curious. They did welcome all age children so it surely wouldn't hurt if he brought Izuku and Hitoshi to it, would it? Who knows who he would meet at one of those meetings in the parks? If anything, he felt awful having his sons cooped up at home and then in his shop where they always ran up and down the isles.
Even if Hitoshi claimed he loved the store with Izuku just as fervently, he wished he had more time to bring them to the parks. His weekends were open and he took them for all day picnics at the park but during the week? It was hard. Very hard. In fact, if it weren't for a few moms of kids in the kindergarten class taking the boys for playdates he feared they'd be stunted. While he wanted to prove that he could handle two sons and a store along with all the work at home he knew it wouldn't be the full truth.
He was drowning with each passing day only to just barely rear his head up by the end of those days. Today was one of those. At least he could hope to get a coffee pot from his friends to make his mornings bearable. But even with Nemuri's words, her insistence, that he not lose himself to being a father that's just what he was, wasn't he? He was a father. And his sons needed him to provide them with a routine. Stability where they had lived instability. He wanted to be there for them in the way that both of his mothers had been there for him.
But that put a stunt on his dating life. From what he had seen since he adopted Hitoshi it was that not many men or women were looking for a relationship with a single father. Weren't interested in children. And so, for the past three years since adopting his then three year old son, he'd been content with one night stands. He'd been content with having the now and again fling that gave him an outlet. He'd been content with having one night to work out all the frustrations that had been weighing on him.
To get that pesky lust, the horniness, out of his system. It was something he thought about. The feeling of a lovers hands on his sides and back. Holding his hips. The feeling that he was desired by another person. That he was beautiful even if it was fleeting. He wanted the rush of sleeping with a lover all night long until he was hoarse in the morning. He wanted to lose himself in tangled limps and lips on his as he was allowed to touch and fondle. To have someone who would twist and turn in his hold as he was pinned beneath them.
He wanted someone to fuck his damn brains out once in a while. And was that truly so bad for him to want? Did it make him immoral? No. Did it make him disgusting? No. He was a man with wants and he had needs. He was an adult who could do as he pleased. If he wanted a lover and just so happened to be a father then did that mean he couldn't indulge? Did that mean he couldn't have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? Did that mean he couldn't fuck someone to his hearts content until his thighs were shaking?
Until he was howling so damn loud it had him hoarse and voiceless the next day? When he was being held so tight it left finger prints on his skin? When he was being pounded at so fervently it had him gasping? If he wanted someone, anyone, to fuck him into his bed the way he needed someone to? Because Nemuri had been right today. That he deserved to live just as his kids deserved the chance to live. Just as his sons deserved to have a doting father he deserved to have a life on the side while keeping everything together.
He needed to live it before he was too old to live it. And sitting on his stood in his shop he'd put blood, sweat, and tears in running to keep it from going under? Chewing on a mouthful of sandwich as he stared around his empty store? Well, maybe Nemuri was right too. She had made very fair points. Maybe he could afford to hire on a small staff of two or three people so he could free up his week. Free up time for himself and his sons. Nemuri was right, wasn't she? He was burning out horribly and would crash.
Tiring himself out looking after two sons who needed him and one of which he was thinking of adopting. Of fighting for in court to get custody of. He wanted to give them the best and he wanted to give himself the best he could. To live. To breathe, to be a father, and to be Hizashi. To be who he was before Hitoshi. To find himself someone whether that was to be a friends with benefits or a real relationship. To give his sons more time to spend with him than just afternoons during the week and weekend days.
He hummed as he swallowed his mouthful then took another bite before lifting his cup up to sip at before placing it on the counter. He hopped off the stool with a hum as he found himself walking towards the back of the store where the boxes of the shipments of books sat as he chewed his mouthful before swallowing. Taking another bite of his sandwich, he put it down in favor of pulling his pocket knife out to careful slice at the table of the closest box on the breakroom table with a low hum to himself as he chewed.
Then he tugged the flaps open to find the more recent demand of children books staring him in the face. Half and half of two different books and authors gleamed up at him, he walked towards the corner of the room. He chewed his mouth full as grabbed the trolley to bring it closer to the table he has the boxes stacked on from the delivery earlier. He then swallowed his mouthful before turning towards the box and reached up to grab at the edges of the top. Grunting under his breath as he placed them down on the trolley.
And then he lifted his sandwich up to take another bite as he then closed the flaps of the box to rest the sandwich on top of the closed flaps. He turned the trolley to face breakroom door as he pushed it forward with a quiet grunt. And then the bells over the front door of his shop ringing as the door was opened with the soft thud of the door shutting. Pushing his trolley out, he half expected to see Nemuri standing there again. To see Oboro or Tensei standing there to also act as the voice of reason to him today.
To offer help that he wasn't sure he could accept without feeling guilty. He didn't want to shirk off their help but he didn't want it to seem like he was pawning his kids off onto other people. He didn't' want to be that kind of person but if they offered he wasn't sure how to ask. How to say yes without feeling guilty. It was always typical that Tensei , so uptight and strict, would offer him a night off however. It was hilarious. And it was always the case that the dark-haired man wouldn't be far behind Oboro.
After all, it wasn't uncommon to see them together when the men to offer him a night of drinks if he was stressed out. Even if he was more prone to wine drunk nights. As he rolled the trolley out, the remaining bits of his sandwich on the top of the closed box he found himself inhaling to greet whoever may be there. Oboro or Tensei? And yet when he focused his gaze on the man standing in his shop, he instead found himself jerking to a stop at the sight of a man. An unfamiliar man with shoulder length black locks that curled slightly.
A dark stubble covered his cheeks. His jaw that he couldn't help taking the moment to admire the cut off. Full lips parting slightly with black lashes fluttering as dark eyes landed on him. A small girl, perhaps months old or a very small one year old, balanced on his hip with snowy white hair. Large red eyes that looked around the room with a pacifier in her mouth. The man clearly stood tall at round six feet. A ragged appearance to him that he'd recognized on his own face in the rearview mirror when he'd drove in to work.
He looked tired. A scar ran beneath his eye with a narrow waist. Intimidating without speaking a word when he blinked. Not Tensei. Not Oboro. A stranger. It had his own lips parting as he tried to figure out a greeting. What did he say to someone he hadn't been expecting? When he was technically lunch break? How did he say that without making someone feel bad? Blinking, he tilted the trolley up to park into place behind the counter when he grabbed his sandwich and slapped it on the counter behind his coffee.
And then, as he paused, he took another moment to admire the man standing before him. Handsome. He felt heat gathering in the back of his neck, stinging in the tips of his ear, as the word clawed its way to the surface. His glasses slipped down his nose when he felt his lips moving silently. He tried to choke down the embarrassment when he peeked up at the black-haired man again. He was exactly what he would call handsome in that cliché manner. That run down, exhausted way that a man could be exhausted.
He felt heat rushing to his face however when the man cleared his throat. No doubt putting an end to his gawking when he placed his hands on the counter. He needed to be professional! He needs to get his shit together rather than continue to gawk at this man. This very handsome man who appeared just as frazzled and tired as he felt today. Keeping his sandwich hidden out of view to remain polite to the man before him, he licked his lips and cleared his throat. God, he hoped he didn't have anything on his face.
"How are you? I can help you in just one moment when I finish my lunch if that's alright with you? If you'd like, feel free to brows the child's section around the back if that's what you're looking for! I'm sorry if the unlocked door gave you an idea that I was open at the moment but it's just fine! Please, browse if you wish!" He hated how his voice bounced when the black-haired man blinked at him with a trace of confusion to his face. And then his eyes fell to his moist coffee cup as the ice melted.
And that stubble covered face turned red faster than his own had to have. Eyes widening slightly when the man adjusted the small girl on his hip causing her to whine in protests with a tiny hand clutching at the edge of his coat when the black-haired man swallowed. A subtle bob of his Adam's Apple he just barely caught from his distance. "I-I apologize, I just- I saw the woman leaving and I assume that the sign hadn't been changed out yet and that you were open and I just-"
Deep.
Such a deep voice that cracked lightly with nerves no doubt when the black-haired man shifted uncertainly when he took a breath. He needed to take the reigns and assure him before he lost a potential customer. "No, no, you're fine! I mean, I didn't switch it out but I take my own lunch breaks but please, you can look around if you want! I just don't want you to feel rude because I'm going to town on a chicken sandwich and a coffee! It's rude to eat in front of customers but please, if you need a book or want to look feel free!"
"Even so, I probably should have waited than assume." The baby whined then when the black-haired man swallowed again before approaching the counter. Adjusting his hold, the baby in his arms slapped his chest with another impatient whine. "I- Would you by chance have any books on, ah, infants? Milestones and such if you know what I'm talking about? I know I could have looked online but I thought that while I'm in town, in the area, I'd stop by a bookstore and see what they have, you know?"
"Oh! Oh, you mean like a self-help or parent book then? I have a few of those, here, follow me!" Making his way around the counter, he made quick work rushing forward towards the isles with the footfall of boots behind him. Heat stung at the tips of his ears, burned in his cheeks, as he rushed down the aisle towards the back where he paused. The black-haired man rushed up when his gaze flicked over the books. "These should be it! I have as many as I can afford in store and not many people come looking for them!"
"Wh-What would you recommend? I'm not very good at making choices on what's the best and what's the worst thing I could choose." He blinked at the black-haired man when he then reached forward to grab at a book off the shelf. The very one he used when he first began fostering Hitoshi at the young age of two before his adoption at three. He then held it out to the black-haired man who took the book from him when the baby whimpered causing him to bounce her lightly. "This-?"
"Is a personal recommendation. I read this exact book when my son was two, a bit older than your child, but it's helpful regardless. I strongly suggest you take it." Black lashes fluttered then as dark eyes locked onto him. Black. A color so dark, rich, it had his heart jumping in his throat with a fresh wave of heat hitting his cheeks. He was just glad he was already red-faced when he pushed the book forward lightly towards the man's chest. "I'll tell you what, I'll also give it half price! I don't do it for everyone but I don't mind making an exception!"
Dark eyes flicked down to the book them up again with a crooked smile twitching over full lips. It was a sweet sight that had him pulling his hand away from the back of the book when the man tapped it lightly against his chest before holding it away from small hands reaching for it. Whimpering with a squirm against the man's hip, the baby shouted around her pacifier when the man refused to let her take it. "I won't argue that! But really, I can pay full price for it, I don't need any deals cut."
"Well, alright! If you don't want to take a half price deal then that's on you but just know you have time to think on it by the time we get back to the front desk!" He then stepped around the black-haired man to begin walking down the isle with the thud of rubber soles hitting the wooden floor of his store. The tap of his own shoes as his heart jumped in his chest. Still taken aback by the arrival of a customer so suddenly like that. He let out a breath as he made his way across the store to the desk.
Making his way behind it when he looked up at the black-haired man setting the book down on the counter. The baby in his arms whimpering impatiently with small hands coming up to rub at her eyes when the man shifted her off of his hip up into his arms. Bouncing her gently as her head pressed into his shoulder when he picked up the scanner to run it over the bar code. The man fished out his wallet then and pulled out a fifty-dollar bill that he put down. "Would that cover it? I know it's a bit much but-"
"It's fine! Here, let me get your change! Would you like a bag or to have it wrapped or anything? The little lady there seems pretty tired." Again, that crooked smile curled over full lips as the baby curled into the man's chest with a whimper as she was bounced gently with the man swaying on his feet as he opened the drawer of the register. Fishing out the proper change, he placed it in the man's hand. "Despite the scare and misunderstanding, I hope that you'll consider coming back!"
"I just might. Thank you and I apologize for the scare; I really should have waited." The black-haired man stuffed the money and change into his pocket before shoving his wallet into it as well. The black-haired man then scooped his book up with the baby whimpering again with that impatience as she rubbed at her eye. The man seemed to hesitate for a moment before angling the book towards him as his other arm bounced the baby gently. "Have a good day."
"Well, I hope that you also have a good day! And I hope you return for any other book needs of yours!" The black-haired man nodded before making his way to the front door with the baby whimpering and whining as he gently bounced the child before pushing the door open with a chime of the bells. The man stepped out onto the front sidewalk before making his way down it quickly. And he couldn't deny he felt a flutter to his stomach as he lifted his sandwich up again. Maybe today hadn't been so bad after all.