Here it is. I know updates have become a little slower than usual but that's because I've gone back to college so I'm super busy. Start the fic.
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Pacifica sat on a fold out chair as she waited for Dipper to come out of the RV. One would NOT say that she was currently having a good time however, as the Love God had basically tripled his efforts in getting Pacifica to admit her feelings for Dipper. She was sitting with a bored expression on her face with her eyelids half lowered. Instead of entertaining the Love God's accusations and 'attacks' with defensive arguments and denials, she had come up with but a single dry response which she felt capitalized on her feelings towards both the Love God and his constant pushing of her towards Dipper.
"Stupid Cupid, quit picking on me." Pacifica emphasized flatly.
"Oh come on, you know you love it when he can't take his eyes off of you!"
"Stupid Cupid, quit picking on me." she repeated.
"And he literally had to hose himself down after he saw you in your biker outfit! You can't tell me you weren't pleased by that!"
"Stupid Cupid, quit picking on me."
Dipper came out of the RV holding a little jar of disappearing cream.
"Found it! It WAS in your closet and it did collapse on me just like I was afraid it would do to you."
Pacifica rolled her eyes at Dipper's I-told-you-so. "It is no one's fault that I don't have a bigger closet."
He tossed Pacifica the jar and she gave him his chair.
Pacifica got to work straight away applying coverup to Dipper's birthmark.
"So..." Pacifica began. "How's those earrings I asked you to make coming along?"
"They're almost done. You're really good at this disguise thing."
"For the longest time make up was my life, Dipper. So I guess things like disguises just come naturally to me. There! Completely concealed."
"It feels weird using make up to cover up my birthmark."
"Well you only have to do it this once. I'll go get your jacket in the RV."
He couldn't help but smile as he watched her run off into their vehicle.
"You know," Dipper spoke loudly enough for her to hear him from inside the RV. "I've also been thinking about a gadget lipstick for you!"
"What color?" Pacifica called back. "I know you probably think something like that isn't important but to me it is actually very important!"
"I don't know... red?"
"But what SHADE of red?! Are we talking cherry or... wait." Pacifica poked her head out of the doorway. "Would it have a laser?"
"Laser? No! It would be more of a tracking thing. What is it with you and lasers?"
"Everyone loves lasers Dipper, they're lasers!"
"Well your new magnet gun already has a laser. That's laser enough for you, Missy."
Pacifica's eyes widened. "It has a laser?! What's it like?!"
"Oh for pity's... Pacifica get out of there! The time for a walk through on your new gun is NOW!"
The Craft Shack...
Mabel was busy adding flowers to her basket weaving when a tingle ran up her spine.
"I sense a great surge in the light side of love! This can only mean ONE thing! My bro-bro and Pacifica are getting cozy!"
Pacifica and Dipper were cheek to cheek, both were blushing but the smiles they wore were identical. However, they were so close that neither of them could see any of this. Pacifica liked the gun Dipper had made for her, he said it was a more advanced version of a weapon he used as a kid and early in his career. The whole thing was a bright white while a bunch of important smaller parts of the gun were royal blue, and a bright yellow was the last color which decorated the smallest pieces of the gun.
"Okay, you've learned how to stick to something metal like the RV, you learned how to pull something towards yourself AND push it away with the hubcap, so the only things left to teach you are the magna-pulse and the laser. Now remember to be careful, MY version of this gun is powerful it can rip a person's fillings out of their mouth from FIVE hundred feet away!"
"Yes, laser please!"
"Okay the laser works by creating magnetic waves which are ridden upon by... do you actually want to know how it works or do you just want me to teach you how to do it?"
"Just how to do it please!"
Next to the RV the Love God was watching their whole scene with a huge smile on his face. "I love my job."
From the corner of her eye she could see the Love God grinning at them. She quickly turned and aimed her magnet gun at the Love God. "New target!"
*ZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!*
"Okay, a teacher/mentor/superior-officer would ask what that was all about... good thing I'm your partner now! Nice shot! I'll go get your earrings!"
Dipper raced off and Pacifica watched his back with a loving smile on her face.
The Love God walked over to her, his face was singed pretty good. "Okay, this whole hurting me for no reason thing has got to stop!"
Pacifica rolled up her eyes in thought, looking like she was really considering it. *ZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!* The Love God was once again sent flying backwards from the laser of Pacifica's gun.
"Oops." she smirked. "Oh no, look what happened accidentally on purpose. I suppose its the trigger, just too easy to pull... when you're right in front of me."
The Love God walked back again but this time he was cleaning his face with the bottom of his shirt.
"Ignoring the disrespect for a moment; so you're not still going to try and tell me that there's nothing between you and..."
"It. Is. JUST! A. Crush!" emphasized Pacifica. "They can come and go without reason so I just have to wait until THIS one decides to go away!"
"Mm-hmm! Listen girl, you ackin' so cray cray right now that I got to set you straight!" he emphasized 'cray cray' with some neck movements which were just oozing with sass. "What's going on with you and Sherlock in there is way too big to considered something as small as a crush!"
Pacifica didn't like where this conversation was headed. "Dipper?" she called. "You almost done in there?"
"I need half a minute!" Dipper called back. "I misplaced them a little, but don't worry!"
"Uh-Oh!" she whispered.
"If it was just a crush it'd be gone by now. What you have is nothing less than Grade A love!"
"No!"
"Yes! Girl, you are in love with that man because nobody makes you happier than THAT man!"
"I can't be 'in love' with him because it doesn't make SENSE! I mean he's... he's... well he's DIPPER! The nerd from ten years ago who taught me I didn't have to be like my parents!"
"Sense?!" echoed the Love God. "Whoever told you that love made sense! It can act without rhyme or reason and is super crazy! Love is wild and free and comes at your face with force of a lightning bolt! And most importantly of all, love can NOT be stopped! Even if you go all denial crazy about it... stop looking terrified. Stop looking terrified. Stop looking terrified!"
*PLOOT!*
Dipper walked over and blew some steam off the muzzle of his gun. "Oh no. Look at that. I accidentally on purpose shot him in the face."
Pacifica wore a humored grin. "Did you find my earrings?"
"Yep." He dropped a couple of shining purple earrings in to her hand. "I also found this pine green leather jacket which I have to say is kind of nice. This the jacket you were talking about?"
"Yep. That's the one!"
"I love it! Very me!"
The Snuggle Chains' base...
The stationary base of the Snuggle Chains left a lot to be desired. It was basically an old abandoned apartment building with wooden planks covering the windows. Patches, Horace, and Sweetie were parked outside waiting for their kin to show up.
"Horace, you remember that Sweetie is MY girl, right?" asked Patches.
Horace sighed lovingly as Sweetie continued to hold a pipe in his direction threateningly.
"I remember. I just don't care." he swooned.
"You'd care if I bashed your skull in!"
"Meh. Not really. Loving Sweetie makes life worth living, even if it were to come to an abrupt end!"
"You just stay away from me ya love crazed psycho!" threatened Sweetie.
"I'll wait for you as long as I have to!"
"You're going to be waiting in a PINE box if you don't step off my woman!"
The sound of a can bouncing off the ground caught their attention and around the corner came Dipper and Pacifica.
Their outfits were complete with Dipper's black jeans to go with with his new spikey hair while Pacifica wore cut offs and black lipstick which matched her jacket.
"Who are you, Bozos?" asked Patches.
"I'm Needles." answered Dipper. "And this is my girl uh..."
"Llama Hair!" Pacifica chimed in quickly.
The bikers raised an eyebrow at her name but didn't seem to question it.
"Normally we don't take kindly to trespassers on our... What was it called again?" asked Patches.
"Turf, Honey."
"Right, on our 'turf' but the two of you seem odd."
"...Okay. So we just blew in to town and..."
*VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
"Oh good." remarked Sweetie. "The others are back."
The other bikers showed up and parked their bikes next to the three.
"Welcome back, where's 'Prince Charmless'?" asked Patches.
"Went to go howl at his 'moon'." answered Chester.
"Who are these clowns?" asked one of the twins.
"This is Needles and... Llama Hair." explained Sweetie.
"Llama Hair, that's a name I could understand." said Chester.
"Seriously?"
"But what kind of name is 'Needles?"
The other twin came up and grabbed Dipper by his shirt. She looked him over up and down, then grinned.
"Is it because you're real good at 'poking' women?"
Before Dipper could respond Pacifica shoved the woman off of him with a look of fury. "Back off, sister! That's MY man-meat! Understand?!"
The biker twin pushed her back. "If I were you I'd remember whose turf your on, tourist!"
Pacifica stumbled back, struggling to regain her balance. Dipper caught her but something fell out of her pocket and on to the ground. This immediately caught everyone's attention.
It was Pacifica's badge.
"Hey!" snapped Patches. "These two aint bikers! They're nothing but a couple of pigs!"
"WHAT did you just call me?!" snapped Pacifica.
Dipper grabbed Pacifica and carried her around the corner of the building just barely dodging a thrown chain.
"Cover's blown!" Dipper handed her the magnet gun. "Time to fight back!"
Dipper and Pacifica sprang around the corner with their guns catching the Snuggle Chains off guard. *PLOOT!* *ZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!*
"They're packing heat! DUCK!"
The two detectives quickly stood back to back but a chain wrapped itself around Dipper's leg. By the time Dipper noticed he was yanked away leaving Pacifica alone.
"Pretty bird is all alone now!" seethed Horace.
"What now, Biker Barbie?" snapped one of the twins.
"Let's answer that question with another question." Pacifica smiled. "Are those metal piercings?"
While Pacifica was handling Horace and the twins, Dipper wasn't fairing so well. Patches had Dipper on his knees trying to use a chain to strangle the life out of him.
"Time you saw exactly why we call ourselves the Snuggle Chains! We aint trying to be ironic, our name is actually very appropriate in that we use our chains to snuggle up real tight around your neck till you go to 'sleep'."
Dipper thought that perhaps this was it, it took everything he had just to keep from being strangled, despite his intelligence Dipper didn't see a way out of this one. This was not his final hour however, as the chains suddenly went flying off his neck.
Both Patches and Dipper turned to see Pacifica holding her magnet gun and giant smile on her face. "Your friends a bit stuck on each other. Who else wants a piece?!"
As Patches stood in a daze Dipper stood up next to him and shrugged nonchalantly. "Well you can't say I don't know how to pick'em. LEFT HOOK!"
*POW!*
Knocking Patches down with his sucker punch gave Dipper some nostalgic feelings from when he learned to box with Mabel.
"Ow!"
"Ow!"
"Ow!"
"Ow!"
"Ow!"
"Ow!"
Pacifica turned around and saw the mohawk twins hobbling over to her. Their faces were stuck together since Pacifica had magnetized their facial piercings. She did her best not to laugh.
"We're going to cut off that pretty face of yours!"
They took out a couple of knives and took turns trying to stab her. Their symmetry was a little too impressive... "Have you two done this before?! It seems like you've had a lot of practice in this."
Despite the oncoming threat of the twins, Pacifica saw Sweetie running up from behind them swinging her chain.
"Alright, let's try a MAGNA-PULSE!"
A ripple wave shot out of Pacifica's magnet gun, at first nothing seemed to happen but then the twins reeled their arms back. Their knives sped backwards taking their holders with them.
*CLANG!*
The knives were entangle in Sweetie's chain and the twins' faces were plopped right on top of the mess because of their piercings.
Back with Dipper, he was currently dodging attacks from the tall man named Chester. He had a pair of brass knuckles and was using his own boxing to put Dipper on the defensive. Because of the brass knuckles Dipper couldn't even block, all he could do was dodge and wait for an opening.
*MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!*
"What the...?"
A cat, of all things, soared in between them screaming for it's life.
Dipper looked in the direction the cat came from and saw Horace dashing towards them swinging a cat around over his head by it's tail.
Chester facepalmed. "Horace, we talked about this!"
"Face my furry fury!"
"Who uses cats as weapons?! Honestly!"
Pacifica aimed her magnet gun at Horace. "How'd you get out of my magnetic trap?!"
"My 'piercings' were clip-ons!" explained Horace.
*VRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
Another motorcyclist drove in cutting paths between Dipper, Pacifica, and the bikers.
"Another one?! Time to get really serious!" Dipper held up his gun and started to adjust the dial. "Let's see how well they can drive on ice!"
"EVERYBODY STOP!"
The new biker took off his helmet to reveal his brown hair curled up on top of his head like a chocolate soft served ice cream. "I KNOW THESE GUYS! THEY CAN HELP US!"
Shockingly enough, the attacks stopped. For some reasons the bikers were listening to them.
Patches walked over to the man and looked him in the eye with dead seriousness. "Ruffles, they're pigs!"
"Yeah, but if I know them then they aint ordinary pigs. I honestly think they can help."
Patches raised an eyebrow at him. "Alright man, but if this falls through then YOU'RE going to be the one to pay for it. I'll personally see to it!"
Omake
The biker named Ruffles heaved a sigh and turned to Dipper and Pacifica.
"That was a close one huh? Sorry about all that, the transition from being a biker gang to a street gang hasn't exactly been pleasant."
Dipper and Pacifica stared at the man silently for a moment.
Finally Pacifica said what was on both of their minds. "Who are YOU and WHY did you help us?!"
"Wait! You guys don't recognize me? Dipper, you I could buy since its' been about ten years... but Pacifica? You and I are from the same hometown, girl!"
"Wait! You're a Fallser like me?"
"Enough with the mystery, there's something I'd never thought I'd say, who ARE you?"
This mysterious biker spread his arms out wide and declared "My name is Gorney!"
That's it for now. What I'd really like to hear is what you thought of Pacifica's response to the LG at the beginning. I was inspired by a scene from A Bug's Life, you probably know the one. With Francis and the flies? Of course if there was anything else you enjoyed about it I'd love to hear about that as well.