Sorry about the lack of update everyone. I got caught with a mild case of Covid and simply wasn't in any kind of writing state. It sucked, but only on a 'this-is-stupid' level. Start the fic.
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Dipper spotted them almost immediately and charged into their cell.
"Dipper Pines, I must say-"
*PLOOT! *
A glob a green shot out of Dipper's gun and covered the Jersey Devil's muzzle closed. It didn't stop there though.
*PLOOT! * Another glob hit the Jersey Devil in the shoulder making him stumble backwards. *PLOOT! * A third glob hit the monster in the hip making it stumble back even further back. *PLOOT! * This glob hit the beast in the chest making him tumble into the cell wall behind him. With all of the goop on his body the Jersey Devil found himself stuck to the wall. Only his spaded tail was free, it thrashed about wildly as the Jersey Devil struggled to escape.
Dipper spotted Pacifica's leg.
"Pacifica…..Your leg. Was it…?"
"Yes! He did it."
"He did it? He actually hurt you?!"
"It's broken, Dipper. He can't smile but…"
Dipper's face darkened. "You could feel him enjoying it?"
"…Yes."
"That bastard! This is…THIS IS….This is all my fault."
"What? Dipper no."
"It is. This is my fault. I knew it was only a matter of time before we faced him again and I never took any precautions. I…"
"I don't want to hear it!"
"Huh?"
"You never made any preparations because you weren't sure what would be enough."
"…I…"
"I've been with you for a long time now, Dipper. I've learned things about you! Moments when you don't think I'm looking I see you, standing there reliving the moment you lost but your mind doesn't just go back there to relive it. My man isn't wired that way! Whether you realize it or not, you've been strategizing for this day."
"But I don't HAVE a plan!"
"Yes, you do! Otherwise, you wouldn't be here right now! You blew up his guard towers! I kind of doubt you did that on whim!"
"… But…"
"Okay, maybe it's not like how you usually come up with a plan but think about it. Haven't you been doing more than just dreading this day? You've been going over meeting this punk over and over in your head. Even if you don't know what to do, you at least know what not to do!"
"….My only plan was to come in guns blazing and save you."
"…A simple plan, but you know what? It has gotten you this far."
As Pacifica smiled at him Dipper felt another emotion swell inside him. Confidence.
"You got this, Baby! I love you!"
The sound of something wet hitting the floor captured both of their attention. Freed from his prison, the Jersey Devil glared furiously at them.
"What? But how…?"
Instead of saying anything the Jersey Devil held up his spaded tail flailing about.
"Speared your way free? Okay…"
"I knew you were afraid of me, but an all-out assault on my fortress? That's an asylum level of insanity."
Pacifica laughed once again earning a growl from the Jersey Devil.
"Sorry, I hate to tell you this but… Actually, now that I think about it; I'm not sorry and I don't hate telling you this at all, anyways… I'm afraid my man here, Dipper, doesn't really count as "sane" when I'm in danger and buddy…" Dipper cracks his knuckles. "YOU JUST BROKE MY LEG!"
"…Were I a lesser monster I would probably feel intimidated but-"
*CRASH! *
Through the stone wall the Pterodactyl goat's body came hurdling in.
"WHAT ON EARTH?!
A whimper escaped the Pterodactyl goat as it tried to right itself.
"MOOOOOOO!"
Octavia stood at the opening to the hole in the wall, its eyes glowing green.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!"
Dipper smiled at the Jersey Devil's reaction to Octavia. "Jersey Devil meet Octavia. A cow mutated by the Northwest Mudflap Factory over ten years ago."
Pacifica looked over the cow up and down. "Great! Another connection to my family's evil. Well at least this one is on my side."
"….Mooooooooooooooo…."
"…I think."
The cow's tongue shot out of her mouth and wrapped around the Pterodactyl goat's ankle. Despite his desperate struggle, the cow managed to drag him back out into the courtyard.
Dipper stood in front of the hole and watched the carnage the cow was unleashing. Dipper turned around with a smirk and point his thumb over his shoulder pointing to the outside.
"Heads up; that's a sign of how things are going to play out!"
The Jersey Devil walked in front of Dipper. "Think so?"
He spreads his wings and gives Dipper a flying tackle out of the hole. "THINK AGAIN!"
"Great…" Pacifica deadpanned. "Guess I'll just 'hang out' here."
Flying above the courtyard, the Jersey Devil's grip on Dipper felt absolute. Dipper's whole world spun as the Jersey Devil took them into the night sky outside.
"I admit, it doesn't happen often, but I made a mistake. If I had known hurting this woman would have brought about such a rage, I would have just killed her!"
"No. Your real mistake was never killing me when you had the chance!"
Dipper pulled out his dinosaur dagger and stabbed it into the Jersey Devil's right wing. That wasn't enough though, Dipper pulled it down creating a giant tear in it.
They immediately began to tailspin downwards. They landed much sooner than Dipper had expected but that didn't mean they were at ground level.
Dipper took pain staking lengths to make sure the Jersey Devil took the blunt of their fall as they skidded across the metal grid of the crosswalk above the courtyard.
They hit a wall of concrete where Dipper kicked himself from the monster. They both managed to stand upright but as soon as they did the catwalk shook a little.
"Whoa! This thing is actually pretty unstable!"
"Take out the support towers for the walls its attached to and it might do that!"
Without another word, Dipper charged in and delivered a strong right hook to the Jersey Devil's jaw. Stumbling backwards the Jersey Devil caught his balance by quickly grabbing the railing but Dipper's left quickly found the other side of the monster's jaw. Another right hook sent the Jersey Devil onto his back, Dipper saddled himself on the Jersey Devil's collar bone and cracked his knuckles. Slugging away, even Dipper was surprised at how many licks he was getting in but a quick slap from his enemy's wing sent him flying off.
Dipper stumbled with his landing, but it still wasn't as rough as his last one. The Jersey Devil on the other hand had his flame eyeballs darting around, looking for some kind of advantage.
"You want to fight seriously? Fine! I can play it that way, but make no mistake… I'm out for blood this time!"
The Jersey Devil started to back up into a shadow. He started to disappear into it but Dipper quickly changed his gun into his whip mode.
"Oh no you don't!" Dipper lashed out with his goop whip and grabbed the Jersey Devil by the neck. "No hit and run strategy for you this time!"
Dipper gave him a firm yank but to his surprise the Jersey Devil took control of the situation by lunging at Dipper tackling him to the ground. The two rolled on the catwalk both struggling for dominance as unbeknownst to them a portal opened in the prison wall.
Out from the portal came the giant eyeball, Lenny.
"BEWARE, DIPPER PINES! FOR I, LENNY HAVE RETURNED TO…"
"I will devour your soul but only AFTER I'm done picking your bones clean!"
"Oh good luck! We'll see how much of a threat you are after I RIP YOUR HORNS OFF OF YOUR HEAD!"
Lenny stared at the two for a moment and then immediately turned around facing his own portal.
"You know what? On second thought, I'm just going to bounce. Later!"
With Lenny gone, the Jersey Devil used his cloven hoof to kick Dipper off of him.
Dipper landed with his arm hitting the railing. He grunted in pain before glaring daggers at the Jersey Devil and adjusting the dial on his gun.
"Okay this battleground is getting old! The way icy it, it's time for a change!"
*KACHINK! * *KACKINK! * *KACHINK! * *KACKINK! * *KACHINK! * *KACKINK! *
Dipper fired as rapidly as he could, shooting off his ice balls at the catwalk around the Jersey Devil. Coated in ice, the catwalk started to give way.
"Watch your step!"
*CRACK! * *CREEK! *
The Jersey Devil looked down at the ice-covered catwalk. Before he could do anything about it, the floor broke and he fell right through. He tried to fly but with a hole in his wings it was a futile effort.
Dipper heard the Jersey Devil hit the floor but he wasn't done yet. He made a square with his hands and used it to measure the monster's distance from the broken catwalk. He switched his gun dial to laser and fired at the pieces of the broken catwalk still attached to the unbroken bits.
*BZZZZZZZZZZZZT! *
The broken piece of the catwalk then fell on top of the Jersey Devil. He let loose a grunt of pain so loud the entire courtyard would be able to hear it.
Dipper adjusted the dial on his gun so it was in between the whip and the normal shoot. He shot a gunk of goop at the railing.
*PLOOT! *
With the goop gunk still attached from the gun to the railing he switched the gun back to whip mode and jumped down. The goop whip acted as a sort of bungee cord leading to Dipper landing on the ground safely.
Metal screeching, the Jersey Devil pushed the catwalk off of himself with a painful grunt.
"Hey tough guy!" Dipper snapped. "I saved you one!"
Dipper tossed something to the Jersey Devil before turning around running off.
The Jersey Devil caught the item in question without thinking. Now in his claws, he saw it was another one of Dipper's C4 bombs and it was about to go off.
"OH SHIII-!"
*KABOOOOOOOOOOM! *
To the other side of the courtyard the Jersey Devil was flung backwards until he hit the concrete wall.
Meanwhile Dipper brought out his brass knuckles. "No way how it's going to be that easy!"
The Jersey Devil managed to slowly and painfully pick himself up to a slouched but standing position.
He raised his head and the fire in eye sockets burned brighter than ever. "Grrrrr!"
Letting out an inhuman roar, the Jersey Devil shot out twin streams of spiraling fire across the courtyard towards Dipper. He ran from the fire but he was also trying to get closer to the Jersey Devil. Luckily, the twin spiral streams of fire died out and Dipper was able to get up close and personal to the Jersey Devil.
One strong right to the Jersey Devil's jaw sent some blood splashing to the ground.
"Blood?"
Dipper looked down at the blood on the floor and then up at the Jersey Devil.
"You act like you're Lucifer himself but that's not true, is it? You might live for a real long time but you're not unkillable are you?"
The Jersey Devil said nothing but gave Dipper a death glare that would have terrified a lesser man.
"You're mortal!"
"…Yes Detective Pines, you've discovered my secret. I am not immortal, my power is actually finite, I merely live for a very, very long time."
The Jersey Devil then smacked Dipper with his good wing. "Too bad you won't live long enough to share it!"
Meanwhile, back in Pacifica's cell…
Alice had returned to watch the fight through the hole in Pacifica's cell.
"He's doing much better than I would have expected. Maybe he can win…It'd be nice to see that horned jerk get taken down."
"And what about you, Alice?"
"What about me? I'm a slave, remember? I never had a choice to begin with."
"Well, what if you did?"
"...What do you mean?"
"Listen, I can't promise you that you'll crossover to a 'better place' but if you were to help us then maybe you could rest in peace."
Alice gave the chained Pacifica her full attention.
"What part of 'slave' are you having trouble comprehending? If you could we do more… like oh I don't know: ESCAPE!" Alice glared at her. "Don't you think we would have by now?"
"Look at your 'master' out there though! He's getting his ass kicked by my man! If he was as powerful as he says there wouldn't even be a fight! Who says his power isn't finite anyways?"
"…He does."
"The same monster who lied to you about 'solving' your family problems?"
"…"
"If it is possible for him to lose control over all of you, don't you think it would be possible when he's weakened?"
"I…..don't know. If we still can't escape, if your detective ends up losing, the consequences would be…"
"Girl, that's exactly why you need to strike while the iron's hot. You might not ever get a better chance than this! Ask yourself two questions: How much do you hate the Jersey Devil? And how badly do you want to be freed?"
Alice looked like she was about to turn Pacifica down again when suddenly she stopped. Like something just occurred to her.
"What?" asked Pacifica. "What is it?"
"There might be one thing we can do!"
Alice ghosted though the floor with a shout of "Stay here!"
"…Where are you expecting me to go?!"
Back at the fight…
Things were bad. Dipper was quickly losing ground in his fight against the Jersey Devil. He was handling the fight better when it was long ranged, up close and personal the Jersey Devil actually held the advantage. His Grunkle Stan's brass knuckles sadly weren't enough to give him an edge, he was completely on the defense.
Dipper had to dodge not only the Jersey Devil's claws but his wings, fangs, AND tail too. It was bad, he couldn't dodge forever; and then just when he thought the fight couldn't get any tougher the Jersey Devil opened his mouth and something long and sharp shot out from it.
"A spear tongue?!"
To his surprise, the attack was even more complicated than he thought. Completely separated from the monster, the spear tongue sprouted two more tines changing into a pitchfork. The Jersey Devil picked up his pitchfork and twirled it around and then tapped the bottom on the ground three times.
The Jersey Devil held his new pitchfork over his head and gave out a beastly roar. Dipper flinched, expecting something terrifying to happen at any moment but strangely nothing happened. Even the Jersey Devil himself seemed surprised as he darted his head around, looking for something.
"I… I don't understand. This doesn't normally happen!"
"What? Was something supposed to happen?"
"My… zombie army. This is usually how they appear to swarm."
"Zombies don't really take orders, man."
"They do when they're being ordered by me! Where ARE they?!"
Dipper smirked. "Stuck."
"…What?"
"They're stuck. I found them before we started fighting and I gunked up their exit. So even if they can hear you, they can't obey your command even if they wanted to!"
The Jersey Devil roared a ear piercing cry and tried to stab Dipper with his pitchfork. Dipper was just barely able to dodge but it was a very close shave; he quickly lost his balance and fell onto his back. The Jersey Devil made another stab at him but Dipper was able to roll out of the way. This dodge was an even closer shave however as some of his trench got ripped off. Dipper continued his roll and adjusted the dial on his gun.
*KACHINK! *
An ice ball shot out of Dipper's gun and hit the Jersey Devil's pitchfork. Ice creeped over the weapon until the point where it actually shattered. The breaking of this weapon must have been some kind of fallen straw, the Jersey Devil had had enough.
"You know what? I think this fight is easier than I've been making it."
Dipper raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?" he scoffed.
"Yes." He held out his claws and purple lightning started to crackle through them. "Really."
*PLOOT! * *PLOOT! *
Both of the Jersey Devil's claws were suddenly completely covered in green goop.
"My goop is NON-CONDUCTIVE! No zaps this time!"
"Well I—"
*PLOOT! *
A third, much bigger, green glob hit the Jersey Devil in the face encompassing his entire head. It then started to occur to Dipper that perhaps he could win this way! By just covering the Jersey Devil in goop to point where he couldn't move. He pulled the trigger for another shot.
*CLICK! *
To Dipper's horror, he had run out of goop. Thankfully, he did remember to bring a spare. He reached into his pocket… only to find his pocket gone. He looked to where the Jersey Devil had ripped off a piece of his trench and sure enough, he saw the outline shape for his spare glass canister.
"CRAP!"
As Dipper raced off for it, the Jersey Devil's tail swiveled and swayed preparing to strike. He dug through the cloth and pulled out his spare glass container of goop. Dipper hurriedly reloaded his gun just barely in time to see the Jersey Devil freeing himself from the last glob.
Dipper quickly ducked behind some debris for cover and replaced his gun's battery. Before the Jersey Devil could spot him, the prison lights suddenly came on.
"What the-? ALICE!"
"I'm right here, sir."
Alice had almost magically materialized herself nearby, but she didn't look like her ghostly self. She had a rotten green body now, some bone could be seen from a hole in her right arm, and her hair was a complete mess draping over her face like she was from The Ring. He actually jumped a small bit, startled to see her like this.
"Alice? Why do you look like that? What is happening?!"
"A revolt!" she stated firmly.
He gave her his complete attention now. "Excuse me?"
"That's why I'm like this. I found my original body. We ghosts have always known you've kept our bodies in the basement as zombies. By possessing the bodies we ghosts once had we can get a little bit of our free will back."
It was a rare sight to see the Jersey Devil dumbfounded but Dipper relished it.
"…What?"
"Not enough for a full fledge rebellion of course, but just enough for us to get in your way. Example? More lights means less shadows for you to slink away into."
"I WILL KILL YOU A SECOND TIME!"
"Whatever. Can't be any worse than what you usually do to me."
The Jersey Devil reeled back his arm and backhanded her across the courtyard. She hit the wall and her head fell off, she picked it back up after searching aimlessly for it for a moment.
"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NIGHT!"
He brought his claw up to his jaw the same way people do when they're about to make a sharp whistle. To Dipper, it looked like he was trying to add his claws into his fangs or something.
A high-pitched whistle echoed throughout the courtyard, Dipper had to cover his ears to try and minimalize the pain. To his shock, the Pterodactyl goat came running to them. It didn't look like the scuffle with Octavia was going favorably.
"So what? You're going to throw you're pet at me? I'll just fall back to Octavia, it's painfully obvious your pet is no match for the mutant cow!"
"Oh Josephine is a lot more than just a pet. I could never be myself without her!"
Josephine didn't stop her charge, she was going to collide with the Jersey Devil. Instead of sending Dipper's enemy flying like the law of physics would have dictated, they squished together as if they were made of clay. They swirled around in a mass of fleshy horror; Dipper felt like he was going to vomit just from watching it.
Then just as suddenly as it started it stopped. The Jersey Devil had completely transformed; he was a Hell of a lot bigger now, he was somewhere around the same height as Leaderaur. He was on all fours like an animal ready to charge, his horns were much larger now, like those of a bull.
"MOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Octavia charged in but the new Jersey Devil swiftly turned around and backhanded the cow in the prison's concrete walls.
"OCTAVIA! NO!"
The Jersey Devil's now giant spaded tail shot out at Dipper like a scorpion's tail. He just barely dodged out of the way in time but this was exactly what the Jersey Devil wanted. When Dipper dodged the Jersey Devil snatched Dipper in his claw and, using his new giant wings, took off into the sky.
'Calm down, Dipper! Try to think! How can you get out of this? What do you have that can help here?! What can you do?!'
They were above the clouds now, Dipper could only guess what the Jersey Devil was going to do to him now. He didn't have to wonder for long; without warning the Jersey Devil dropped him.
Dipper had seconds, mere precious seconds but acted quickly. Using his gun, he set the dial to whip and lashed out at the Jersey Devil for all he was worth. The goop whip reached higher and higher; this was Dipper's only chance at survival.
It looked like the whip wasn't going to reach the body and for a moment all hope was lost; but then the goop whip latched onto the flat piece of the spaded tail.
"I WON'T BE THE ONE THAT DIES TODAY!"
He desperately climbed up to the body but found he was quickly flailed up into the air. The end of the goop whip was not able to endure power of the flail and broke off. Desperately, he once again swung the goop whip at the Jersey Devil's body hitting the square of the back. A firm pull he was slammed into the back of the Jersey Devil.
He tried to hold onto the back-fur but the winds were too strong and he was flung off. Panic threatened to overtake him but Dipper pulled out his dinosaur dagger and dug it into the membrane of the right wing.
"I WILL DESTROY THIS WING AS MANY TIMES AS I NEED TO!"
With a giant hole in his wing once again, the both of them immediately started to plumet. Dipper gripped part of the wing for all he was worth and screamed his heart out.
Back down on the ground…
Pacifica was currently being supported by two ghost possessed zombies under each arm. It was only thanks to them that she got unchained from the wall.
"What is even happening right now?"
Alice made her way over to Pacifica but she had to hold her head in place.
"I'll tell you what's happening! The Jersey Devil merged with his pet Josephine and became a giant monstrosity, he and Dipper are currently duking it out in the sky!"
"What?! Oh no! How can we help?!"
"Uh…" Alice lowered her eyelids halfway. "We can't."
"WHAT?!"
"Well yeah, none of us can fly. There's no way how we can go up there and help even if we wanted to!"
"I just…" Pacifica bit her lower lip. "Hate feeling so helpless."
Alice was about to say something, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Turning around she saw the Jersey Devil falling out of the sky with Dipper hanging on desperately with his whip. To everyone's shock, the Jersey Devil crashed into one of the few standing prison walls. Everybody winced as the concrete crumbled around them.
Another one of the ghost possessed zombies near the crash site signaled morse code to them with a flashlight. Thankfully, Alice was versed in the language enough to understand what he was saying.
"Okay, good news is the Jersey Devil took the blunt of Dipper's fall… again. The bad news is he seemed REALLY ticked off about it!"
"… I need to get over there! Help me!"
Over at the crash site, Dipper pulled himself up off the ground with a groan of pain. Something was absolutely broken, he just wasn't sure what. If he had to take a guess though, he'd wager it was probably his hip. It hurt to walk.
Some shifting rubble caught Dipper's attention. A huge concrete pillar was lifted up and then fell to the ground. Out from the debris came the Jersey Devil; he didn't look well though. He was partially transformed back into his original form, but some of his combined form was still present making him look deformed. There was battle damage too, both of his horns were broken off, his tail was completely gone, his left arm broken, his right was still huge and deformed but bloody, and his once giant wings were gone now with only a couple of bloody holes to take their place.
The Jersey Devil glared furiously at Dipper. "You…" He coughed up some blood. "You…I'll… I'LL KILL YOU!"
With his normal sized arm he shot out a bolt of purple lightning that missed Dipper by a mile. That isn't to say it didn't hit something though. It hit the Stan O' War making it sink.
Dipper swore under his breath before giving the Jersey Devil a death glare.
"I don't think you understand! You're done!"
The Jersey Devil leaned his head forward, obviously trying to shoot fire out of his eyes again, but nothing happened. His body was so damaged that his powers were starting to shut down.
For once it was the Jersey Devil who felt despair. He hung his head, he was even losing control of his ghosts, he could feel it.
"Look at me… Raise your head and look at me, you horrible monster!"
The Jersey Devil looked up at Dipper and saw that fury was still etched on his face. The detective pointed a finger at the monster with loathing.
"You're a real scary guy but you made one mistake! You hurt my woman!"
Dipper took aim with his special gun, he started to pull on the trigger when all of a sudden…
"Dipper, STOP! Don't do it!"
Pacifica was being held up by two zombies, each supporting her under an arm, but she still managed to make her way over to her. One of these zombies was Alice, her head was reattached but it did occasionally fall to one side.
"Pacifica, if there was EVER a monster that deserved to receive justifiable homicide in the line of action it would be THIS creep!"
"Dipper…"
"As agents of the United States government, we are authorized to terminate any creature we deem a threat to the public people! Him though? He isn't just a threat to the public people, he may as well be a threat to the whole world!"
"Dipper, you care. It's one of the things that I love about you! It is BECAUSE you're different from him that I'm asking you to spare him. The more differences between the two of you the better."
"….Pacifica, I can't just let him go! He's dangerous!"
One of the zombies added. "Considerably less so, now. Watch this!" The zombie took off his and threw it at the Jersey Devil's head.
"OW! I command you to fall in line!"
"No." The zombie puffed out his chest with a confident smile. "See that? He's lost control of us ghosts permanently!"
Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yeah." spoke up the other zombie. "He's pushed himself too far. He's done more damage to himself than to you!"
"I found out he was mortal in the fight but…"
"He's put too much strain on himself, he's broken now. He's tried to do too much at once and broke what he had. You saw him pull out all those tricks, he's more balanced than he wants you to believe. And doing all of those things actually took a toll on him. Take a good look at him, he's stuck this way forever now." snipped Alice.
"Dipper…" Pacifica began. "Look at him. Even if he did get out of prison, he doesn't look like anything we couldn't handle."
While they were talking, the Jersey Devil tried to sink into the shadows in the gravel beneath himself but found he couldn't do it. The zombie was right! He was broken.
"You can't honestly expect for me to just let him go!"
"No. I'm not. He is an evil, disgusting thing but look at him. He thought he was the scariest thing since Steven King and here he is, defeated! He's broken. Beaten. Humiliated. He'll have to live with this for the rest of his life. He didn't think you were worth the dirt off the bottom of his hooves and he lost. What I'm asking you to do, Dipper, is just to do your job. Arrest him so we can put this whole thing behind us."
"And if he gets out? If he tries to get revenge on us?!"
"Then we'll handle him. And we'll handle him together, just like we do everything."
Dipper relaxed his grip on his gun for a moment but then tightened it back up again.
"I'm sorry, Pacifica. I love you, but I just can't trust him! He's too dangerous to live!"
"… Do it…" coughed the Jersey Devil.
"What?"
"We're the same, you and I. Good and evil are nothing but concepts conceived by humanity, the truth is there is only power! We both understand power, and right now you have the power over my life." He started to laugh but it quickly turned into bloody coughs. "You're the one with the finger on the trigger, not her! You know best, you know I'll find you both again just like you said. So listen to your head and do what I would do. Prove you're the bigger monster and end it."
"….."
"What are you doing? KILL ME!"
"I could listen to you… or I could listen to my pretty friend over here. And while my head IS saying to kill you, my heart…" He smiled at Pacifica. "Is telling me to listen to the woman I love. And anything YOU want me to do is probably a bad idea; you wanted me to come here alone and instead I stormed your fortress with a multi-legged mutant cow and wrecked your shit. You could say I won because I threw everything about you out the window. Your hype, the fear you installed, our history together…it was all dead weight and I never saw it as such before. You always made me feel like a mouse but Pacifica? My girlfriend, my woman, always brings out the best in me… keeps me reasonable, sane even. You on the other hand, are a well-known liar. And anything YOU want? Can't be good! No… Severing connections is the right way to deal with you; and if I kill you then we'll always be a part of each other."
Dipper holstered his gun. "So I'm just going to do what my pretty lady friend says instead and do my job. Because that's what you are to me now, just another monster I have to arrest. I'll make sure you get a nice bright cell."
He took out a pair of cuffs and started to put them on the Jersey Devil. He was afraid the enlarged arm would have been too big for the cuffs but by basically forcing them on a smaller part of the wrist Dipper was able to make it work.
"By the power invested in my by the United States of America, I HEREBY PLACE YOU UNDER ARREST!"
"On what charges?!"
"Considering this is you we're talking about? I'd say you're being convicted for pretty much everything. Now to make sure you stay there until authorities arrive."
*PLOOT! * *PLOOT! * *PLOOT! * *CLICK! * *CLICK! *
The Jersey Devil was covered in goop now stuck to the floor, Dipper even made sure to goop his mouth closed(he did ensure that his nostril hole was clear so the monster could still breathe).
"Heh. Guess I'm out." Dipper sat his butt on cold concrete ground and let out an exhausted sigh. "That was the hardest, most terrifying fight of my life!"
Alice and the other zombie helped Pacifica sit on the ground so she was back to back with Dipper. Dipper gave Alice a thankful grin.
"What about all of you zombies?"
"We're going to bury ourselves out back and hope for eternal rest. Figure we have like a fifty-fifty chance." explained Alice.
"That's fine. Just try to avoid three part harmonies in the future." Dipper warned.
"I don't know what you mean by that but fine."
The zombies walked off and Dipper laced his fingers with Pacifica, holding her hand.
"This was a lot." Dipper breathed.
"This was a lot-a lot!"
"We're going to need a vacation."
"Does hospital time count? Because we're both going to need one."
"Oh yeah, that's a good point. My everything hurts."
"Maybe we could share a room together."
"Unlikely but it'd be nice."
"Hey Dipper?"
"Yes Pacifica?"
"How are we going to get off this island?"
"…I actually don't know. My walkie, my phone… They both got smashed in the fight! We're actually a little stranded here."
"Should we worry about getting off this island?"
"Eventually. For now, let's just enjoy the quiet…." He tightened his grip on her on hand. "and each other's company."
Omake
The sun started to come up and with it came a helicopter. Dipper squinted his eyes at it, he thought he could see someone hanging off the side of it. "Wait, is that…"
"DIPPER!"
"Wha-Mabel?"
Thankfully, there was enough space in the courtyard for a helicopter to land. Mabel raced over to them and shortly after Waddles leapt off the helicopter armored in pots, pans, and cookie sheets.
Mabel emptied out a bag in front of them, spilling all types of items on the ground.
"Sorry I wasn't here sooner! Flying. Is. Terrible! I'm here now though! I'm all loaded up too! I've got sticks of dynamite, holy water because I aint having any of that anointed crap, and…"
"Mabel!" interrupted Dipper. "Fight's over."
"Wha-What?" Mabel asked in a quiet vulnerable voice. "I came all the way here just for you. And I can't be of use?"
"That's not true. We're injured, we need a hospital and the Jersey Devil needs to be transported to a military facility."
"Wait a minute…"
Dipper followed Mabel's eye trail and saw that she spotted they were holding hands. "Uh-oh."
"Are you two…"
"Mabel please try to stay calm. You're an adult!"
"Together?"
Dipper winced, hesitant to give her an answer as he knew what would come with it. Pacifica, had no patience for the silent pause and broke it.
"Yes, Mabel. Dipper and I are pursuing a romantic relationship together. We've been through a lot tonight though, so we would appreciate it if you…"
"EEEEEEEK!"
"AH! Now my ears hurt too! Wasn't even thinking of that! Are you sure you want to dive into this family, Pacifica? It's going to be a lot of…this."
Mabel was walking around in a circle gushing about their wedding day.
"I've stuck it out this long, may as well go whole hog. Besides, compared to the dangers we usually face Mabel's shipping is practically a vacation."
"Pacifica, how many of his babies do you want to have? 9? 12?"
"MABEL!"
"WHAT?!"
"Hospital! Military transport! Please!"
"Fine! Ya wet blanket salesman!"
That's it for now! I hope you found the fight epic enough. So yeah, Dipper basically broke the Jersey Devil by pushing him beyond than his physical limits. I really tried to make this come out okay and I REALLY hoped you enjoyed it. What did you think about the ghosts possessing the zombies? I'm a little proud of it but I do admit I got the idea for from a Ghostbusters comic. Now time for a little bad news. I'm shortening the story by removing one of the arcs I had planned. It was going to be special but this story has gone on for too many years. So many other stories got placed on the backburner for the sake of this story and it's really kind of… not fair. Breaks my heart but here we are. Please let me hear from ya if you enjoyed this chapter.