Here's a nice fluffy filler chapter for you that I hope will make you laugh. Start the fic.
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Thanks to Mabel and her abuse of her congress powers, Dipper and Pacifica actually were able to get a room together. Separate beds though, which was a little bit of a buzz kill. Pacifica's broken leg was only a hair line fracture but Dipper on the other hand…
Dipper was more broken then originally thought. His ankle was broken, his hip was cracked, and six ribs were broken.
The door opened and in came Mabel carrying something that she clearly knitted herself.
"Hey DipDop, guess who's here… It's Mabel! With a special present! It's an Afghan made for two!"
"Okay, as sweet as that is; we're in separate hospital beds. How would that even work?" asked Pacifica.
"I'll show you!"
Mabel draped one half of her knitted over Dipper, accidentally-on-purpose covering his face, and then draped the other one on Pacifica. The two pieces were connected by a curiously thick piece of Afghan.
"It has a giant sleeve in the middle so you two can still hold hands."
"Wow, that's actually pretty sweet of you Mabel." Dipper smiled.
"I suppose it's serviceable!" Pacifica rolled her eyes.
"Nope! None of that talk! Not when Mabel has also brought…" Mabel left the room for a moment and then came in with a cart filled with pillows. "Pillows! Here, let me get you comfortable future sis-inlaw!"
Dipper blushed. "Mabel!"
As Mabel decorated Pacifica with pillows realization sunk in. "Oh that's right. If I did say 'yes' then we'd technically be sisters. I hadn't thought of that."
"Pacifica?"
"Just give me a moment. I'm processing here."
Pacifica, now littered with pillows, smirked confidently. "Okay, I can be good with this." Mabel placed another pillow under her broken leg. "Yep. I can definitely work with this."
"Okay, I'm going to go see if the nurses will let me spice up the cafeteria menu. Don't you two get too frisky."
With Mabel ducking out into the hallway the Mystery Couple breathed a sigh of relief and threw back their heads.
"Finally, she's gone!"
"I feel that, but…" Pacifica put her arm through the Afghan sleeve. "She does make pretty good presents."
"Yeah…" Dipper put his arm through the sleeve to hold Pacifica's hand. "I guess she does. So far this is the best part of the day."
"When we're better, we gotta snuggle. Kay?"
"Sounds like a plan to me."
For a moment the merely laid in silence, holding hands, doing nothing more than enjoying the other's company.
"You did save my butt… again."
"What are you talking about?"
"You always save my butt."
"Oh please, you save my butt plenty of times too."
"Not as much as you've saved mine."
"Nonsense! There was Edna…"
"Never liked that woman!"
"Nor should you. Anyways, there was Edna…"
"You're overlooking the blizzard thing! And all the times you had to pick me up and carry me off running away from whatever calamity is chasing us! You have strong leg muscles!"
"Hm…. now that I think about it, you are right a little bit. I think we have more of a mutual-butt-saving thing going on."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I save you and you save me. Equals. That's how I want it."
Dipper squeezed her hand.
"I didn't think of it like that…. I guess that's what I want too."
Pacifica squeezed his hand back.
"Yeah," Dipper smiled. "I don't want to rescue you from the dangers, I want to FACE them WITH you! You're my partner against crime, Pacifica."
Pacifica smile got a little bigger.
"I like that."
"I like that too…. Gonna take forever to get back to the RV though."
"Preach. We're gonna be in this hospital for a while."
"…"
"…"
*SQUEAK! **SQUEAK! **SQUEAK! *
"Do you hear that?"
"Yeah, it's like fingers against glass."
They both looked to the window and saw something strange on it. There was frost on the window.
"That's strange. There's frost on the window."
"But that's impossible! It's the middle of July… unless…"
More frost appeared on the window but now it was spelling something out.
"No…"
"It can't be…"
The frosting on the window now read "It's me." The window opened seemingly by itself.
"It is!"
One little blink was all it took. They closed their eyes to an empty room and when they opened them there stood Jack Frost!
"Hey guys! If it isn't my favorite Mystery Couple!"
"Oh no!"
"Not Jack!"
"I missed you guys too!"
"Jack!" pleaded Dipper. "Listen to me, we are restricted to bed rest. Even if you have a case for us, there is nothing we can do about it until we're healed!"
"Oh that's Pine Needle Dick! This is a social call!"
"NOOOO!" screamed Pacifica.
"MABEL! MAAABEEEEEEEEEL!" screamed Dipper.
"Oh, calm down. I'm not here to hurt you! I just missed you guys and am definitely not on the run from some relentless snow women with no feet!"
"…"
"…Okay, now I'm concerned for a number of reasons!" confessed Pacifica.
As if Jack Frost wasn't enough, a portal opened up and out came Lenny.
"Beware Dipper Pines! For I, Lenny, have returned once again!"
"Okay, now it's getting kind of crowded in here."
"What in the name of Frosty the Snowman is THAT thing?!" shouted Jack.
"Oh hello, never met you before. My name is Lenny, nice to meet you. I want to kill Dipper."
With the situation a little bit less dire, Pacifica leaned over to Dipper and whispered in a tone loud enough from him to hear but still quiet enough not to be noticed by Jack and Lenny.
"Hey, Dipper?"
"Yes, Sweetheart?"
"When I first met Lenny, you said he had like different forms and stuff. Whatever happened to that?"
"…You know, you're right. When it was just me he would cycle through them, but when I started to travel with a guest I guess he became a little more self-conscious."
"Really?"
"You bring out the best in people."
Dipper squeezed her hand again.
"No. That's what you've done for me."
She squeezed back.
"Hey, Dipper!" shouted Jack.
"What?!" Dipper snapped; obviously unhappy to focus on something other than his intended partner.
"This thing!"
"What about him?!"
"What is it?!"
"Lenny!"
"Explain! Details!... Please?"
"That is Lenny. He is exactly what he seems and wants me to die."
"WHY DO YOU WANT TO DIPPER TO DIE?! HE IS THE BEST OF THE THREE HUMANS I KNOW!"
"Because he's…Dipper!"
"Oh yeah?!" Jack puffed up his chest. "Well I'm going to DEFEND Dipper-Wait a minute. You're an eye. Exactly how are you going to kill him?"
"Oh! Um… I'm gooooing to….Uh… Glare at him until he dies!"
Lenny floated over to Dipper and glared furiously at him. "Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Are you dead yet?"
"No."
"Aw nuts! I'm going to have to try harder then!"
"This guy is kind of lame." observed Jack.
"Hey!" Lenny turned to Jack with a hurt expression. "That's not a very nice thing to say."
"Of course not! I'm dick! Then again, I'M not the one trying to kill people!"
"I don't want to kill people! Just Dipper. Dipper isn't a person, he's Dipper."
"I don't know exactly what you mean, but I'm pretty sure I should be offended by it!" snapped Dipper.
"Oh yeah? Well…. Well….Well!" Lenny levitated higher so he could loom over Jack Frost. "Who are you to judge me anyways?!"
Jack floated up so he could match Lenny's height.
"I am Jack Frost! And I just so happen to be…" He puffed out his chest and raised his chin proudly. "The most powerful sylph in the world!"
"Oh my word!" Lenny exclaimed. "The most powerful sylph in the world?! I never would have guessed! My diabolical plan to kill Dipper didn't account for this at all!"
Jack Forst, if it was even possible, looked even more smug.
"What's a sylph?"
And just like that Jack's smugness was completely gone along with his patience. So he literally spat into Lenny's pupil.
"Ow… JACK FROST'S SPIT! MY WEAKNESS!"
"How many 'One Weaknesses' do you even have?!" snapped Pacifica.
"That's what you get for looking at me funny!" joked Jack.
"OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!"
"Great!" Jack cheered. "Now that he's taken care of, the rest of us can have a snowball fight!"
"Jack, we're bed ridden!" protested Pacifica.
"OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!"
"Oh that doesn't matter! I'll make enough snow for the entire room!"
Before Jack could do any more harm, Mabel ran into the room.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF INDUSTRIAL SPRINKLES IS GOING ON IN HERE?!"
"OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE-Oh is that you, Mabel? Been a long time, nice to see you again."
"Lenny?"
Then she saw Jack and dead panned. "Jack."
"Mabel! You're just in time for the snowball fight!"
"Jack! This is a place of HEALING and…"
"OWIE! OWIE! OWIE…"
"LENNY, GO HOME!"
Mabel pointed dramatically at the giant eyeball.
"But…"
"I don't want to hear it, Lenny! You've been very bad! Now go home and think about what you've done!"
A portal opened and Lenny sadly left through it.
"Now that the child is taken care of, time to address the dick in the room. Jack, what are you doing here?"
"Oh! Um… Me? I just… missed Dipper and Pacifica! That's all."
Mabel merely raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, I'll confess. Mountain Snow Women from Japan have been following me with the intent to marry. I know I said I didn't want to be alone anymore, but marriage is a little too fast. I can't shake them! And Mabel; I don't think they have feet! They might be outside this building right now!"
Mabel nodded in understanding. "I see. That might explain the snow I saw covering the bushes."
"…The what?"
Mabel walked to the window and opened it.
"Mabel? What're you doing?" asked Jack.
Mabel stuck her head out and shouted. "LAAAAAAAAAADIES! HE'S IN HERE! COME GET YER MAN!"
"MABEL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
"We can stand around all day talking about the things I've done in the name of romance, or you can take advantage of the fleeting head start you have and leave. Your choice."
Jack's eyes darted between Mabel and window for about five seconds. Then with a wordless scream of terror Jack Frost flew out the window.
Mabel smirked and closed the window. "Sucker! I mean, does he even KNOW if those Snow Women speak English?"
"So you didn't see any Snow Women?" asked Dipper.
"Meh. Yes and no. I thought I saw something outside but I couldn't be sure. Best lies have a silver ring of truth to them. For now though…" Mabel brought out her phone and started tapping away at it. "Why don't I bring us up something to watch on Ad-Tube."
"Don't you mean…?"
"I know what I said!"
Omake
A decent number of 'weeks later…
Pacifica sat in a lawn chair in front of the RV. She and Dipper had been released from the hospital but they weren't back into active duty just yet. Pacifica still had a cast on her leg and was restricted to basically just sitting around all day. Dipper was another story however, he still had bandages around his torso but he could move about so long as he took it easy. Still, he knew how difficult this was for Pacifica and said that he was going to go out and get her something that would the wait easier for her. She had no clue what that meant but he said it was a surprise. Her patience was rewarded as Dipper approached holding a box with holes along its walls.
"What is that?"
"This is for you. Now before I give it to you I don't want you to get too excited. This was not a purchase, this was a rental. He's due back in two weeks."
Pacifica raised an eyebrow at him. "He?"
Dipper said nothing but handed her the box. She looked inside and was amazed at what she saw.
"I know it's not a dog but…"
Pacifica took out her new fuzzy friend.
"Maybe you'd be willing to settle for a rabbit!"
In her hands was a black rabbit. It twitched his nose at her.
"OH MY GOD, I LOVE HIM!"
Pacifica squeed and hugged the rabbit tightly.
"I think I'm going to call him… Dipper Jr. or DJ for short!"
"AAGH!"
Dipper jumped back in shock.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding! This bunny rabbit's real name is Oswald."
Dipper breathed a sigh of relief and Pacifica giggled.
"Sigh. Remember the time when we got turned into real rabbits by that witch?"
"Oh yeah. We touched noses a lot."
Pacifica grinned. "Yes we did. Edna got off easy compared to that witch."
"Yes! Now THAT was some justifiable homicide in the line of action! The bunny stuff though, was actually kind of fun."
Pacifica said nothing else but blew Dipper a kiss.
That's all for now. Shorter chapter, shorter wait. Hope you liked it.