House Elves Taste Funny
Written for Lamia of the Dark's Return of the Dark Prompt Thing
Prompt - edible body glitter
It was late at night, and Severus was making his rounds throughout the many halls and hidden passageways of the castle, checking to see if any students were out of bed. He was just about to turn around and head back to the dungeons when he noticed something shiny on the floor.
The substance sparkled in the light of his wand as he bent down to examine the shiny flakes strewn across the floor. It was glitter, and a trail of glitter lead off down the hall.
He followed the trail of glitter. And before long he could hear voices, giggling and laughing in the dark. His first thought was that some students were fooling around after curfew. But as he rounded the corner he saw a pair of house elves sitting on the floor, laughing and drinking, surrounded by several empty bottles of butterbeer.
It was Dobby and Winky. Both of them were drunk, and Dobby was doing body shots off Winky with a lime and a bottle of edible body glitter.
Dobby sprinkled vanilla flavored glitter onto the crook of her neck, licked it off, then downed a shot of butterbeer before planting his lips on Winky and devouring the lime wedge in her mouth.
From the looks of things, Dobby had gone through several bottles of glitter that evening. There was glitter all over the floor and ground into the carpet.
It took Dobby a moment to realize that Snape was there. He looked up at the Potions Master, squinting in the bright light of Snape's wand.
"Oh, hello, sir," said Dobby, giving him a simpering smile as he waved up at him. "Dobby is just having a bit of fun, sir. Dobby was cleaning Miss Granger's room and found many bottles of these shiny things. They is tasting quite good, sir. This one tastes like vanilla."
Snape sighed and rolled his eyes. Of all the things he'd seen in his life, this had to be the most bizarre sight he'd ever witnessed.
Dobby sprinkled glitter on Winky's foot and started sucking on her toes.
"Stop!" Winky cried, swinging a dirty sock and smacking Dobby over the head with it. "Stop, it tickles! It tickles, Dobby!" She collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter just as Dobby started licking glitter off the heel of her foot.
By now Severus had seen all he wanted to see, and quickly turned around and marched off down the hall. He felt disgusted by what he had seen, and wanted to get far away from the pair of sparkly elves as fast as possible.