Taking A Dip
Written for Lamia of the Dark's Return of the Daily Weird Prompt Thing
Prompt - skinny-dipping
"I don't know about this," said Severus as he hesitantly approached the water. He bent down and dipped his finger into the water. The water was freezing. Merlin knows what such cold temperatures would do to his man parts.
He looked up at Scabior, who was standing a few yards away, guzzling the last ounces of booze from a bottle of firewhiskey. The head Snatcher clung to an overhanging tree branch with his free hand to maintain his balance as he continued drinking like there was no tomorrow.
Severus huffed out an irritated sigh. Of course Scabior was drunk. He only came up with ideas like this when he was so plastered he couldn't see straight. And given his current level of intoxication, Scabior probably wouldn't even notice if the water shrunk his bits to the size of raisins.
Scabior finished the last of his firewhiskey, leaning back as he tipped the bottle upwards and fell over with a yelp onto his back, sending up a cloud of dirt and dust as he hit the ground. He laid there in the dirt laughing, and Severus rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he looked at him with disgust etched into the lines of his face.
"Well now," said Scabior, clinging to the nearby tree as he stumbled and staggered upright. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a little water, Severus." He motioned with a wave of his hand towards the clear lake. "It's beau'iful, isn't it? Like a charming young lady. Makes you want to get naked an just dive right into 'er."
"This isn't going to be like the time Greyback caught you snogging a lamp post is it?" Severus queried. "Because I don't fancy the thought of hauling your drunk arse out of the water when you start to drown."
Scabior, who had tossed his empty bottle in the bushes and was in the process of unbuttoning his pants, looked up with a confused expression in his face. "Tha was a lamp post?"
Severus sighed and turned around, walking over to a large rock by the water's edge and sitting down on it.
"Oh come on, Severus," said Scabior. "It's not like I've got something you 'aven't seen before."
Severus flinched and looked away as the drunk Snatcher yanked his pants and underwear down around his ankles in one go. By the time he looked back, Scabior had removed his jacket and was in the process of unzipping his vest.
Snape's dark eyes widened slightly as he gazed down at Scabior's lower regions. Perhaps he really did have something Severus had never seen before.
"Scabior, are you - " His words broke off abruptly as the Snatcher leapt into the water, sending a spray of water droplets flying in all directions.
Severus took a step back, shielding his face with his hand as water flew everywhere. Scabior splashed him with water and laughed.
"Come on, Snape. Get in 'ere! Or do I 'ave to come out there an drag you in by that overly large nose of yours?"
Now he was just making Snape mad.
The Potions Master looked around, making sure they were alone before he began to disrobe. He was just about to enter the water when Scabior said, "Um Severus, aren't you forgetting something?"
Snape's sallow features blushed bright red. He hadn't taken off his underwear, and thought he could sneak into the water with them still on.
"Take it off," said Scabior.
Oh how he wished it were Lily telling him that...
Severus slipped out of his underwear and quickly entered the water before anyone could sneak a peek at his goodies. He went up his neck in the water, trying to cover as much of himself as he could. Meanwhile Scabior had grabbed hold of an overhanging tree branch and started climbing it.
He climbed into the tree, the water glistening and dripping from his nude form. Severus had only a moment to realize what was happening before Scabior screamed "Banzai!" and launched himself off the branch into the water.
He hit the water with a tremendous splash, landing directly on top of the poor Potions Master and completely submerging him under water.
Snape coughed and spluttered as he broke through the water's surface. He shook the water from his hair, then began screaming obscenities at Scabior, who was now casually doing the backstroke through the water like nothing had happened.
Nearby in the forest, a figure was lurking in the shadows. Someone was here, someone who had seen them get into the water and was secretly watching them.
The figure crept closer, a smile blossoming on her lips as she gazed at them from between the bushes. What a fun surprise this would be.
Severus had just calmed down and stopped yelling at Scabior when a female voice called out to them.
"Hello boys! Need some company down there?"
Severus and Scabior looked up, and there in the distance atop a hill was Bellatrix, completely nude with everything on display. Their mouths dropped open in shock as the wild haired woman went running full speed down the hill, bare feet pounding the earth as certain parts jiggled and bounced.
She dove in the water, landing on Scabior's back and plunging him underwater. "Get along little sea horsey!" she yelled excitedly. "Yeehaw! Ride 'em sea horsey!"
Bellatrix had fueled up on coffee before stripping naked and going for a run through the woods. She was now in her hyperactive "coffee cowgirl" mode, which meant that anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with her became her new horse.
Scabior struggled to swim out from underneath her, her legs and feet battering his sides as she kicked at him and held him under. He broke through the surface of the water, and as he glanced back he saw Severus swimming to shore as fast as he could.
"Oh no, you don't!" Bella screeched, seizing hold of Snape by the ankle and pulling him back in the water just as he neared the shore. "You're my sea horse, and it's time to go for a ride!"
Scabior stopped and stared at them for a moment, completely dumbfounded by the sight he was witnessing. Was there nowhere they could go to get away from Bellatrix and her coffee fueled outbursts?