Dog Food

Written for Lamia's Daily Speed-writing Competition

Prompt - "I can't believe you just did that." / "Well, I did! And I'll do it again!" / "You'd better not." / "Or else what?"

A/N: I've had this idea in my head for a while now. I just needed an excuse to write it and a couple more lines of dialogue to make it work.

It was a calm, pleasant evening in the Snatcher's campsite. The stars were shining brightly in the clear skies above, while the sound of crickets chirping and the crackling fire filled the warm night air.

Scabior and his men were sitting around the campfire eating their evening meal, when suddenly a thin, foul aroma wafted in, reaching their leader's nose and making his eyes water from the stench.

"Wha the bloody 'ell is tha?" said Scabior, plugging his nostils with his scarf.

Greyback, who was sitting next to Scabior and munching on some brownish-grey colored mush in a bowl, looked up from eating and said, "That was me. I farted."

"Oh, Merlin dammit, Greyback!" Scabior swore, fanning the air with his hand. "Tha's it! No more dog food for you."

The werewolf looked over at his boss, finished chewing a mouthful of dog food, and said, "You sure about that, Scabior? If you take me off dog food, I'll have to go back to eating people food. And when I eat people food, I literally eat people as food."

Scabior was still cussing as he stood up and moved away from the rancid werewolf. "I can't believe you just did tha," he said.

A few of his other men had begun to chukle, smirking at each other as they watched the scene unfold.

Greyback was getting annoyed. Why was Scabior getting all upset over a little werewolf flatulence? Everything in nature farted. Hell, butterflies probably did it too.

"Well, I did! And I'll do it again!" said Greyback, leaning over as he prepared to let one rip.

"You'd better not," Scabior warned.

"Or else what?" Greyback asked, pausing in his actions.

"Or else I'll tell Umbridge the truth about the last three mudbloods we caught. An when she finds out tha you ate the lot of them, she'll castrate you an you'll 'ave to wear one of those collars tha looks like a lamp shade so you don't lick yourself."

Needless to say, that was enough to keep Greyback quiet and prevent any further rebuttals from erupting out his behind.