Charming The Snake
Written for the Wild, Wacky and Weird Character Pairings Event on The Leaky Cauldron forum
Pairing: Dementor/Severus
A/N: This story was inspired by the works of Charitable Millionaire who, at one point in time, had published the most hilarious Sirius Black crackfic collection. While that collection no longer exists, I thought I'd keep the memory of it alive with this humorous little chapter.
It was that time of year again, the winter snows glistening in a myriad of colors as the sun rose above the treetops. The Christmas trees in the Great Hall had been decorations with ribbons and tinsel, students had gone home to visit their families during the holidays, and Severus was alone and miserable.
The cold he felt seeping into the wet, dungeon walls was worse than usual this evening, thanks to the dementors Dumbledore had ordered to guard the castle. But even this wasn't much of a bother, not when he was on his third glass of wine and starting to get a bit tipsy.
A sigh fell from his lips, his gaze lingering on the heart shaped locket in his hand. There was a photograph of Lily inside the locket, her smiling face greeting him as he opened the locket. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough when the trembling hand that grasped the bottle longed to feel the warmth of her skin beneath his fingers.
"Perhaps I've been wrong," he slurred, his vision blurring slightly. "There is no sense in reaching for affection when the warmth I desire has long since faded from this world. I think..." He paused, his head tilting towards the desk as he slumped forward in his seat. A second passed before he awoke with a start, lifting his head and looking around in a daze. "I think it would be better to embrace the cold, to sink so deeply that I'm numbed by its touch, unable to feel such emotions."
His statement drew the attention of a lonely figure passing by the door, her hooded cloak rippling in the night air as she turned his way. She glided gracefully down the hall, swinging her hips and whistling a tune that sounded halfway between a death rattle and a set of broken wind chimes.
Severus looked up when the door to his private quarters was thrown open, seeing the world's most delicate and decidedly feminine dementor hovering at the top of the stairs. His jaw dropped when she made a motion with her rotting hand, flicking back her nonexistent hair.
"Excuse me," she purred, her voice grating in her throat. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with the night..." She considered him for a moment, her finger twisting around the frayed edges of her hood. "Dementors can suck more than souls, you know," she continued, giving him her most seductive smile. "If you wish to embrace the cold... If you truly wish to let it numb your very heart and soul, then perhaps I can be of assistance."
The dark man swallowed hard, nodding drunkenly and allowing the dementor into his room. He would lose himself in her cold embrace, forgetting his troubles as she thrilled him with her icy pleasures.