Snek R Blanket Burrito
A/N: Just so you know, I'm going to be posting a lot of human!Nagini drabbles. Thanks to Claudia Kim for providing inspiration. And yes, I know at this point in time she was permanently a snake. But this is crack so just roll with it, m'kay?
It was cold. Too cold for a serpentine Maledictus who was used to sunning herself on a rock. The clouds had rolled in, and the autumn leaves were blowing on the wind. Which meant that Nagini had to find other ways to keep warm.
She started by exploring various rooms in Malfoy Manor, going through wardrobes and dressers in search of something warm.
There was a sweater in Yaxley's closet that looked warm and comfortable, but when she tried it on it hung past her knees. It was also stained with splotches of grease, and Nagini didn't fancy the thought of smelling like an oily bucket of fried chicken.
Narcissa had some lovely robes in her wardrobe, each one lined with luxurious rabbit fur. But the smell of perfume on her clothing made Nagini gag. Lucius had some expensive jackets, but when she put one on it was stiff and uncomfortable.
Returning to the guest bedrooms, Nagini bypassed Yaxley's room and started exploring Severus' sleeping space. She found layer upon layer of soft, fuzzy blankets on his bed. There were green checkered blankets, worn blankets with patches sewn on to cover the holes, and an aged quilt that smelled of lilac.
She gathered the blankets and went downstairs, her bare feet softly padding across the polished hardwood floor. When she reached the couch, she took a seat and started cocooning herself in a layer of blankets.
Later that day, Severus went to his room and was ready to lie down for a nap when he noticed his blankets were missing. It wasn't laundry day, so the house elves hadn't run off with the linens. And unless Wormtail had been adding to his rat's nest in the attic, there was no reason why his blankets would be missing.
The confused Potions Master started searching for his blankets, looking under the bed and checking the closet. When he found nothing he ventured downstairs, only to discover a pile of blankets on the couch.
The blankets rose and fell with Nagini's deep, easy breathing, but Severus didn't know that it was the Dark Lord's pet snoozing on the couch. He could only see the tips of her toes, along with several strands of dark hair escaping the folds in the material.
He approached the mound of blankets and tried poking it with his index finger, then quickly took a step back when the person inside the blankets hissed at him. Wait, people don't hiss. What on earth was going on?
Another poke. The hissing grew louder, more agitated.
Severus grasped the corner of the blanket, lifting it carefully and revealing Nagini in her human form, her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. This was puzzling, because up until now he'd only known her to hiss while in snake form.
"Go away," she snapped, her tone biting and cold. "Snek are blanket burrito. Snek wants to be left alone."
"Alright." Severus lowered the blanket and stepped away from the couch. Because human or not, he wasn't messing with the Dark Lord's pet.