Airplane Stickers
Written for the Death Eater of the Month challenge.
Prompt: Barty Crouch Jr.
No one ever said that parenting would be easy. The task was made more difficult when Barty's wife had a run in with Mary Lou and her leaf machine. The Dementor was now stuck in bed, her cloak torn, her limbs wrapped in bandages after having been run through the leaf machine, leaving Barty to look after the children while she recovered.
"You'll do fine, dear," said Les, passing him an enchanted ribbon for use in keeping Grindelwald's pants on. "And if all else fails, you can always call Chastity for assistance. But I don't think you'll need to."
"Right, love," said Barty, pocketing the ribbon. He leaned over and placed a kiss on the Dementor's forehead. "I've got everything under control. All you need to focus on is getting plenty of rest so you'll start feeling better."
Les smiled and snuggled under the blankets, relaxing in the arms of her loving husband. She was almost asleep when they realized it was far too quiet for a household with three children.
"Barty, where are the children?" Les muttered sleepily.
Her husband shifted slightly, moving and sitting up on the edge of the bed. "Last I looked they were playing in the living room. Though by now Gellert has probably taken his clothes off and thrown them all over the house. Best go check on 'em before he goes streaking through the neighborhood like last time."
Their two sons, Severus and Gellert, were currently in the bathroom, their older sister Modesty sitting on her bed with a handful of leaves, a box of crayons and some paper. She was busy making leaf rubbings when her brothers wandered off, giggling and talking as they toddled down the hall.
Severus stood off to the side, watching as Gellert pushed the step stool up against the bathroom counter. The younger of the two brothers then climbed up onto the counter, where he discovered a package filled with his mother's feminine products.
"What dis?" Gellert cooed in his usual baby talk. He reached into the package and took out a sanitary napkin, its pretty pink wrapper crinkling as he held it up to examine it.
Curious, Severus hauled himself onto the step stool, his legs flailing as he pulled himself onto the counter. He could hear a slight rustling as his brother unwrapped the napkin, the noise hurrying him along as though Gellert were peeling the paper off a Christmas present.
"Look, Gel, it gots wings on it!" said Severus. "Do you tink it's a airplane?"
Gellert tried throwing one of the pads across the room, only to watch it nosedive onto the floor.
Undaunted by this epic fail, Severus unwrapped a second pad, peeled off the paper on the back, stuck it to Gellert's forehead and laughed. "Airplane stickers!" he cried, his brother going cross-eyed as looked at the floppy pad.
By the time their father ventured into the living room, both boys had covered the room with pads, sticking them to the walls, the furniture, even the sliding glass patio door.
Barty came to a halt in the middle of the room, a flush of heat rising in his cheeks. More than a dozen pads clung to the glass door and, as luck would have it, Remus chose that moment to stroll on by walking Sirius on a leash.
"Look, daddy," Severus said gleefully. "We finded airplane stickers!"
Unable to find his voice, their father stood rooted to the spot in horror, his blush deepening as the children continued to play with his wife's private articles. He was vaguely aware of the wrappers under his feet, of the sound of laughter as his sons decorated the walls. It wasn't until they started throwing the "airplane stickers" that he hurried across the room and scooped up his eldest son.
"Severus, that is not a toy!" Barty exclaimed, depositing the squirming toddler on the couch. He then snatched up Gellert before the child could make a run for it, placing him on the couch beside his older brother. It was during this moment that he noticed an odd weight in his son's pants, the child's clothing filled to the brim with floral wrappers from his wife's sanitary napkins.
"What is this?" Barty asked, sounding more than a little confused as he removed a plastic wrapper from the waistband of his son's pants.
"If I gots to wear pants then I is kangaroo, daddy," said Gellert. He stuffed his hands down the front of his pants. "An dis is my pocket wike all the mama roos got."
"Merlin's beard," Barty muttered, lifting a hand and massaging his temples. He could feel the beginnings of a migraine blossoming over his left eye. "Let's not tell your mother about this. I don't really know how to explain this anyway," he added, seeing his children snicker and giggle as he squirmed uncomfortably.
He looked away as a brief incantation caused the pads to wrap themselves in their floral packaging, each one levitating off the floor and heading towards the bathroom. His sons watched as the parade of pads went marching past, too young to be anything less than amused by this feminine spectacle.
Gellert cheered like he was at a sporting event, while Severus watched in awe as they disappeared around the corner. And all the while Barty just wanted to crawl under the couch and die from embarrassment.