Breakfast With The Carrows
Written for the Mini-Prompt Challenge
Prompt - a glass of wine
Lucius Malfoy, in all his regal glory, sat at the table with a glass of wine in one hand and a cereal wipe in the other. No Malfoy, no matter if they married into the family or were born into it, could be without a pack of cereal wipes during breakfast.
The house elf would approach the table, carrying an elegant silver tray, upon which he'd placed a stack of cereal wipes. These wipes were nothing more than heavy duty napkins, specifically designed to go with cereal. After all, you can't eat soup with just any spoon. It must be the correct spoon. Likewise, you had to have cereal wipes and a glass of red wine with cornflakes. Not white wine or orange juice, not milk, tea or any other beverage. Because that's how the Malfoys do it.
Lucius dabbed his mouth with a cereal wipe, then took a sip of wine. Elegant though he was, the company he'd chosen to join him for breakfast was less than sophisticated.
Amycus sat across from him, his four foot long tongue lapping at a bowl of cereal. The motion of this of this pendulous organ resembled that of a wriggling worm or, to be more precise, a caterpillar. Looking at it for too long made Lucius begin to nausea, so he focused his attention elsewhere.
Alecto, on the other hand, was no where to be seen. She had taken her bowl of cereal under the table, throwing her cornflakes all over the floor then gnawing on the table leg.
"In my house we never have cornflakes," she said with an air of disgust. "The Maisie gives me shiny cookies. And besides, cornflakes are for sniffy old ladies who need grains to make them poop." She then returned to biting the table leg.
Narcissa squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. A pile of sawdust had acumulated on the floor, and for a moment she wondered if Alecto was secretly an Animagus. More specifically, a beaver.
"Miss Carrow," said Lucius with as much dignity as he could muster. "Why are you nibbling the furniture?"
"Because I wanted to see if cherrywood tastes like cherries," said Alecto, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. "It doesn't," she concluded, and then latched onto Lucius' cane.
Lucius cringed, hearing the sound of Alecto's teeth scraping against the polished surface of his cane. Without thinking, he grasped his cane and tried yanking it out of her mouth, only to be met with a shower of tears as Alecto fell back onto the floor.
Amycus paused in mid-lick, his tongue twisted into an S shape, just inches away from the bowl. "Now Lucius, you've gone and upset her," he said, spattering the walls (and Lucius' wife) with saliva as he whipped his tongue over his shoulder.
Narcissa blinked and lifted a hand, wiping spittle off the side of her face. "Excuse me," she said, wringing out her soggy napkin. "You're putting the blame on my husband, when it was your sister's inappropriate behavior that caused this. I hardly think that sounds reasonable, Amycus."
By now Amycus has slid out of her chair, and was attempting to calm his sister with a pack of shiny cookies he kept for just such an occasion. "Lucius, you know how she is," he said, handing Alecto a cookie. "You invited us into your home, knowing full well the amount of oral stimulation she requires on a daily basis."
But instead of accepting the cookie, Alecto cried even harder, launching herself off the floor and knocking Lucius from his chair. Her jaws closed around the cane, and she bolted from the room, running on all fours like a beast.
She passed through the double doors in a flash, pole vaulted over Bellatrix who was busy snogging a houseplant, and ran out into the garden where she was assaulted by a peacock. Said peacock took a bonk on the head from the cane, and by the time the others caught up with her, the peacock was unconscious and Alecto had gnawed the cane in half.
"Your bird was pecking at me," said Alecto, pointing at the peacock. "I don't like that. But your pimp cane tasted like dark chocolate, so I forgive you."
"My what?!" Lucius' face turned six shades of red, the blush clashing horribly with his silvery-blond hair, making him resemble an overly large candy cane.
"Uh-huh." Alecto nodded, brushed the wood fragments off her dress, then started biting the nearest bush. Twigs and leaves flew in every direction, and when she was finished the bush had been sculpted into the shape of a unicorn.
It was only because of Alecto's hedge trimming chompers that they allowed her to return, putting her to work in the garden where she kept the lawn mowed and bushes in pristine condition. Her brother Amycus also did his part, slathering the plants with saliva to keep them from drying out. Now if only they could get Greyback to stop fertilizing the rosebushes.