More Fun Than A Barrel Of Crackers
Written for the Toilet Dreams and Leaf Machines event on Morsmordre.
It was just an ordinary day at the dementor household. Little Severus was seated on the couch, watching a cartoon about a blue puppy that left paw prints all over the house, while his brother Grindelwald ran around the house in his diaper.
This was such a common sight that Severus didn't even bother to say anything, not even when Grindelwald stepped in front of the tv, one finger in his mouth as he looked at the puppy on the screen.
"Noooo!" Grindelwald wailed, his brother never batting an eye at this sudden outburst. "Want kitty. Pweriwinkles." He pointed at the screen when a blue and white kitten made an appearance. "Kitty! See? Kitty kitty!"
Severus said nothing, both hands constantly in motion as they dipped into baggies filled with cheesy crackers, crumbs spilling down the front of his shirt.
"Ew, messy." Grindelwald climbed onto the couch and sat beside his brother. "I make clean now!" he cooed happily, taking a handful of cracker crumbs and stuffing them down Severus' pants.
The toddler squealed when he felt the crumbs filling his pants. But his brother only laughed, amused by his reaction, and grabbed the waistband on Severus' pants, stretching it out and emptying the contains of the baggie down his trousers.
Severus leapt off the couch. Clothes and crumbs went a flyin', and Grindelwald toppled over onto his back, howling with laugher.
"I is tryin' to eated dat!" Severus pouted, crumbs spilling onto the floor as he yanked his underwear off. "Why you do dat?"
"Dey is cracker crumbs, so dey apposed to go in your crack!" Grindelwald chirped, holding his sides and giggling.
"Not mine!" Severus shot back. "You put dem in your crack. I wanna eat mine, not sitted in dem."
Grindelwald was still laughing when his brother slung his crumby underpants at him, missing entirely and hitting his father in the face just as Barty Apparated downstairs. This made the little white haired boy laugh even harder, his brother joining in as Barty stood there with his son's underwear covering one half of his face.
"Perfect timing as usual," Barty muttered, speaking more to himself than to anyone else in the room. He peeled the underwear off his face, coughing when he accidentally inhaled a load of crumbs.
"Yucky yucky!" Grindelwald burbled. "Daddy eated butt crumbs!"
"What?!" Barty exclaimed, and the children kept right on laughing.