The party is tomorrow night. Samara should arrive this afternoon. The past few days have been recharging for everyone, which they'll need for the sickest party ever. I'm going to show them how it's done in the astral planes. Light bodies are especially sensitive to music in a good way. I invited some friends from previous adventures. Ben, Dan, Beck, and a few hundred more. Nah... I didn't. Unless they develop the tech to jump universes, I can't bring them over. Their soul's bandwidth will likely not accept this universe's frequency which causes glitching and that is no fun.

I've been hanging out. Not doing anything special. Some brief exercises with James. Just to get the blood flowing and maintain my strength. Played some cards with Garrus. Taught Grunt how to play UNO. What else? Watch the news to see how the war is going. The anchorwoman says the united forces are pushing back the Reapers. Most likely propaganda to make the civilians feel better. I know I know, I should be out there helping and saving lives, but I've done this stuff so many times, I came to the point they need to save themselves. If it gets really bad of course I'll remove my butt from the couch, but I don't wanna. This couch is cozy.

Tali is happy to have her girlfriends back in town. She will never admit it, but Tali loved being a part of hyena pack. Their laughs drive me a bit crazy. I should transform into a drell woman and infiltrate the sewing circle. Nah I won't do that. I don't want to accidentally catch a crush on Garrus or Mordin. Tali is asking Miranda all kinds of pregnacy questions. Not the typical health related ones, more the preparation for raising an infant outside of the flotilla. Where she can find the best diapers, if she can have Miranda's dress when she no longer needs it, what toys should I make. It warms my heart seeing Tali so enthusiastic.

Miranda asks Jack "Do you think you'll have a baby?"

Jack says "Hell no. I got my hands full with the biotic brats. Besides can you imagine me being a fucking mom?"

Tali says "But you love being a teacher."

Jack says "yeah because they are miniature adults. Irresponsible, annoying, impatient little shits who get on my nerves, but they are supposed to be like that. T? Does the agonizing hours of childbirth scare you any bit?"

Mirianda says "that's not going to be any fun. I might skip it and get a c-section."

Tali says "I know it will be uncomfortable, but it will be worth it. You're not going to scare me. I know it's not like how it is in your movies."

Miranda asks "what do you mean?"

Tali says "you know. The laying down pregnant women who are screaming the whole time for humor. Quarians think that is hilarious."

Jack says "I mean this with love buckethead, it's exactly like that."

Tali sarcastically asks "what?"

Miranda bluntly states "It can be hell."

I tell Tali "my mom had a hard time delivering me and the doctor said he would have done a c-section if he could go back into the past. I'l do what I can to minimize the pain, but it's still going to hurt. Tali, what is birth like for quarians?"

Tali says "I've had some friends describe it to me. Our partners hold and prop us up while we give birth. They mentioned uncomfortable aching for a while and maybe some pain when it finally pops out. Are you really telling me it really is that painful for human women?"

Miranda, Jack, and I say in unison "yes."

Tali says "I can't believe it. Why do you lie down when you do it? It's difficult for me to shit when laying down in my suit. What makes you think it would be any different?"

"Tali! Language." I think that's the first and only time I'll ever yell at her.

Tali's shoulders tense up "Sorry Cherished."

Jack says "That's not fucking fair. Why do quarians get a pass?"

Javik explains "Their diet of nutrient pastes consists of high fat with few carbs as it contains more energy per weight. Crucial for her people's limited growing space. This keeps your body in fat burning mode which burns more efficiently and better for brain health. Optimizing hormones. Your human ancestors have differing diets with similar effects before eating powdered grain products throughout the year."

Miranda says "you're telling me childbirth doesn't have to be painful."

Javik replies "Yes. Amazing the lengths your people are willing to go for procreation. Astonishing and terrifying."

"I knew the sugar industry was evil." I said as I bite into a piece of leftover pizza.

Hours passed. Shepard wants to play poker and I join him. He says no mind reading is allowed. Well, that takes all the fun of stealing everyone's money away. Fine... I win the old fashion way. Put a few kings up my sleeve. The players are me, Shepard, Liara, Wrex, Tali, Kaiden, Ashley, and Garrus. Samara hasn't arrived yet. Shame too as she is an excellent poker player. Her stone face and patience give her an edge. Liara demonstrates her fine biotic control by shuffling the cards in midair. I'll need her to teach me that trick. I ask for a refresher of the rules and it comes back to me.

While we play, I ask the table "Does anyone know if Thane is coming?"

"I'm right here" A deep voice said behind me.

I scream from terror, my body forced up in an unnatural exorcist style sort of way. My heart rate could make a cheetah need a heart replacement. How the hell does he keep sneaking up on me like that? Does he hold is breath or something?

"Don't do that Thane! Source, you scared the crap out of me."

Thane slightly bows "Apologizes, but I need to keep my skills sharp. It's a pleasure to see you once more."

"Oh, you say that to all the guys you scare halfway to death. Mordin told me you were doing very well. How do you feel?"

Thane says "In conjunction with some of your suggestions, lung inflammation is eradicated, and bacteria count below detection. I am not cured, it will reemerge or contract it again if I do not maintain my lifestyle changes. Other Drell are reporting similar results."

Pretending to be shocked "I saved the lizard people. Adding that to the resume."

Thane smirks "embellishment is unbecoming of you. I suppose I should thank you by not informing the others a pair of fours."

Liara raises her bet 50 credits and everyone calls. Thane… I didn't have a pair of fours. Thank you, gecko man. I'll buy you mega mealworms next time I browse the pet shop. Thessian animals are so cool. While I rake in the dough, the players ask me questions that's been bugging them for a while.

Kaiden and his morbid curioisty asks "what is the most messed up thing you ever saw?"

Shivers "Skibidi toilet."

Ashley asks "what is the greatest secret ever?"

Immediately respond "Victoria's".

Liara asks "Whose?"

"Girl. You wouldn't believe. She's an old man who lives in Ohio."

Wrex asks "what is the strongest thing you fought?"

Hehehe "Chuck Norris."

Shepard asks "dumbest thing you ever did."

Little embarrassed about this one "I let Godzilla stomp me to death because I was curious how it'd feel."

Jack walks in and asks "Most people you slept with at once?"

"Two and I hated it. Multiple people's energy influencing my own was too disrupting."

Tali asks "So I should cancel the foursome with Jack and Taylor?"

"Haha! Very funny Tali. Like you would actually do that."

Wrex says "Trust me *********, Tali will be more than enough for you. Them quarian girls may look innocent, but they leave a nasty bruise."

Tali asks "how would you know?"

Wrex says "you're forgetting I was around before your great grandparents set sail. During the rebellions they did some off the books weapon deals and some of them had a fetish. Us big men with our chodes were 're in for a treat *********." Slaps my shoulder. I'm simultaneously grossed out and excited. Tali excuses herself from the table and gives me her hand to play. I ask her if she is embarrassed and she says no. Normally in this situation, my girlfriend would be but for some unknown reason, Tali isn't. Her aura tells me that. I'll trust Tali and leave her to do what she must. She's a strong woman. Whatever she is feeling will pass. I'm going to win her money in the meantime

Wrex apologies "Hey I was just kidding around. I didn't mean to make her upset."

Ashley suggests "you should go talk to her."

I respond "Normally I would, but I can tell Tali is strangely not upset. If anything, she seems let down."

Wrex asks "How did you come to that conclusion?"

I answer "I can see auras. An energy field around their body that is influenced by their emotional vibrations."

Wrex says "That can't be real."

I alter the vibrations around the table to allow perception so their brains can get a taste of what they are missing out on. Nearly all, with the exception of Kaiden, experience discomfort. Shepard grunts his teeth. Wrex holds his head. Liara begs me to stop. Ashley says "It feels like a sharp rock is stabbing the inside of my brain."

"You should really dissolve that." I turn off my abilities and raise the bet.

.

Wrex's comments about my ancestors will haunt me for the rest of my days, but he's not wrong. Even with our environmental suits, we are a passionate people. The layer of cloth separating us from everyone else left us pent up and needed to get creative. ********* understands we are not "pure" like some humans expect their women to be, technically we are since there hasn't been any penetration but that's not what I meant. My cherished will be, what is the human phrase? Over the moon when he learns sexually adventurous, we are. While I do show my love the best, I'm able to, I felt guilty I've been keeping him from the full experience, but now I should talk to Taylor and Jack.

I nod to Jack to follow me and find Taylor in the kitchen. "Sorry he won't go for it."

Taylor is disappointed, slumping her shoulders. Jack gets pissed off and slams the countertop.

Taylor asks "is there any chance he'd be ok with just the three of us?"

Jack says "I'm still down but I was really hoping to get a taste of his specialness and his semen. I sliced up a pineapple for a reason."

Tali says "If he's not involved, it feels like cheating to me and I'm not going to do that to him."

Taylor begs "Come on, Please?"

Tali says "He said no and I'm not pushing the matter."

Jack rolls her head back "fuuuuuck me."

Taylor says "I'm still willing if it's just the two of us."

Jack says "Eh why not. Hotel is paid for, and I got a few hours to spare. If he changes his mind, we'll be at the hotel. See you bucket head." Jack slaps my ass on the way out and Taylor caresses my arm and gives me a seductive look as she passes. Maybe I should try convincing ********* harder.