A/N: Just a fair warning, have tissues ready.

(Nala's POV)

I couldn't move. Barely having enough energy to lift my head to look around my cave. The home I had helped Simba build was almost completely empty. Everyone except myself and our young protector my son trusted with our lives occupied Pride Rock. My mother and cubs must have taken a trip to Big Springs with Shuga and his family. They might have invited me if I didn't look like I was practically wasting away.

My eating had gotten relatively better over the past few weeks since my mother had nearly had a heart attack when I didn't eat for two days. Now I force myself to eat at most once a day if only to make my mother feel better. I also didn't want my children to think what I was doing was okay. Even though I wasn't starving to death; I lost nearly fifty pounds in four weeks.

The biggest problem with my health? I haven't slept for almost three days. Whenever I felt myself starting to drift off, I would shake myself and start pacing the cave floor. Desperate to not get pulled into the hell that awaited me when I finally collapsed from exhaustion. It's not that my family weren't aware of my nightmares. I had startled all four of my cubs awake the last time I fell asleep. They were crying almost as hard as I was.

"Nala?"

I looked up to see Jason standing over me with a chunk of meat. His kind eyes burning with a desire to help me. Setting the food down in front of me, he sat right across from me instead of going back to his place in the cave. Staring at him for a second, I sighed in frustration.

"Jason, I appreciate you trying to look out for my health, but I won't be able to eat if you stare at me in silence the entire time."

He chuckled, "So we can talk... if you want."

For the first time, I gave him a half smile. Lee really couldn't have picked a better person to look out for us. Jason was just as protective and compassionate as Lee, just much smaller. All of my cubs have been relatively polite and accepting of Jason from the start. The fact that the first time Kion and Kiara had met Jason was when he was helping their brother save them from being butchered. Tiifu and Zuri were at the very least indifferent to Jason, but they were never rude to him. Even though he and Kion had a bit of a rocky start; they got along much better now.

And yet... it still wasn't the same. The absents of my human boy was present in every corner of my life. I long to hear his loud, yet gentle voice. I'd give anything short of my family for him to walk through the entrance of Pride Rock right now. Maybe he'd be dirty from doing hard work all day. That would give me the opportunity to clean him and gently remind him not to work so hard. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if he came in late after dark. That would give me an opportunity to show my love through scolding him.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I head Jason call out.

I snapped my head up, "Wh- what?"

Jason smiled sympathetically, "Sorry Nala, you're crying."

I aggressively wiped my tears away on my leg, "Sorry."

Jason shook his head, "Don't apologize for feeling something, it means you have a soul."

"Jason, I just want to thank you again. You certainly didn't have to stay after Lee's death. And I know things with you and Simba haven't exactly gotten better since you met each other. And I know it's not your fault. Simba wasn't always like this."

Jason nodded, "I understand. And staying to protect you all is the least I could do. Lee saved my life after all. He was... a great guy."

I sighed, "Yes he was."

Jason awkwardly cleared his throat, "You should probably start eating. Sarafina will kill both of us if that meat isn't complete bone by the time she gets back."

"Do you want some?" I offered.

He shook his head, "Thanks, but I already ate."

I must have been hungrier than I thought, because I managed to devour the whole thing in less than ten minutes. My body got even more tired a minute or two after finishing it. Had I really been up for so long already? My vision became hazy as I placed my head down on my front legs. Jason's hand began stroking my head as my eyes started to drupe. Just before I blacked out, I heard him speak in an apologetic tone.

"Sorry Nala, your mom and Rafiki just want to make sure you sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

It all started out so calm. I was lying in a green, lush field. This place didn't look like the grasslands of my kingdom. Aside from myself, there wasn't another animal for miles. Several yards away from me was an army of trees about as tall as the ones back home. The blue sky was surrounded my fluffy, white clouds.

Then he was there.

He stood leaning against a tree. His strong arms crossed over his chest with an enormous smile on his face. The hair he had previously slashed off had now grown back to be falling down on his shoulders. I was so mesmerized my what I was seeing, I hadn't noticed my legs were moving me forward. Tears of unmistakable joy spilled out my eyes as I bolted in his direction.

"LEE! LEE!"

I was so close to him I could practically jump on top of him. Just as I was about to do just that; a gunshot rang out. My body instinctively shrank down as I ordered Lee to do the same. He still just stood there. I practically screamed at him to get down right now. My son fell over with a thud as an agonizing yell escaped his lips.

"Mom! Mom help!"

A terrifying sight caught my eye when I stood over him to shield him. A bullet got him straight in the stomach. A river of crimson red flowed from his body and sank into the grass and mud. Tears of fear and agony fell from his eyes. Despite being so brave and strong, right now he looked as defenseless as a newborn cub. My newborn cub.

"MOM" Lee cried.

"I'm hear sweetie. Mom's right here."

After coughing several times, blood shot out of his mouth and onto my face. My sobbing became uncontrollable as I attempted to lick the blood off. Only for a fresh coat of it to come out a second later. All the while my boy just kept crying out to me, begging me to make the pain go away. With nothing else to do, I just buried my face in his neck and began to shack with terror.

"Please not again. Don't leave me again."

My fur rubbed against something hard and shallow. The sight I was treated to when I looked up made me almost vomit. Lee's body was reduced to nothing but a skeleton; he didn't even have any clothes on. To my horror, his skull turned to look at me and spoke in a ghost like voice.

"Mom, please. Don't let me die like this. Save me, you're my mom!"

Before I could even muster up a response, his skeleton disappeared in a puff of ash. My body that had been laying down on top of him sank to the ground. Small bits of his ashes stuck to my fur. My entire body went numb, yet I still felt like I was being burned alive. Some say dying is the worst thing someone can go through, but they're wrong. The worst thing anyone can go through is losing someone you love. Each time it happens, it's like a part of you dies with them. I buried my face in my son ashes and let out one final, pain filled shriek as I blacked out again.

My entire frame jumped up as I screamed in terror. My breath came out in large huffs as I scanned my surroundings once again. I was still all by myself in Pride Rock, it was still daylight outside. Someone's hand gently rubbed my neck causing me to jump and face the person with a snarl. Jason threw his hands up in submission at the sight of my rage. When I realized it was him my face relaxed, if only just a little.

"Are you okay?" he asked

I raised my eyebrows in shock, "Well, aside from being drugged against my will to have a few hours of hell; I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking."

"Nala, please..."

"No Jason, I don't care if my mother and Rafiki told you to do that, you still had no right! Do you have any idea what I just went through?"

He shook his head, "No."

I turned away from him with an exhausted sigh. Jason uneasily scooched closer to me with an impressive amount of bravery considering how I almost took his hand off a minute ago. He placed his hand back on my neck and just kept it there. As if to just say without speaking, 'I'm still here'. Despite how angry I still was with him; I eventually leaned against him and rested my head on his lap. He Continued to rub my neck in a soothing manner, and shushed me when he heard me start to sob.

"I miss him. So much!" I cried.

"I know Nala. And I'm going to be honest with you, that pain won't go away. It's most likely going to stay with you till the day you die. But can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"Feeling that much pain only means you loved him so much. You know he loved you just as much as you loved him." Jason told me.

"I know that. I just don't know what else I could do!"

Jason sighed, "Well, I know that you still have four cubs that could really use their mom. And I'm not saying that to be insensitive. I'm just saying they need you, and being there for them will help you too."

I took a long sigh, "You're right Jason. Great kings, I'm such an irresponsible mother! I've been so wrapped up in how I felt that I didn't bother to check on my children. They must hate me now!"

He actually chuckled softly, "Oh, don't even think that Nala. None of your cubs hate you. Did you not see how all four of them were nuzzling the hell out of you when you woke up screaming the other night? They're all just worried about you."

"Yeah... I do remember that."

"Listen, they won't be back for a few hours. You should probably just relax until they get back."

"I can't go back to sleep! I see the same thing every time."

"They won't last forever." he assured me.

Despite trying my best to stay awake, I wound up in the same place half an hour later. The anxiety of what I knew would happen caused me to freeze in fear when I saw Lee again. This time, I actually saw him walk out of the trees and wave at me. The smile on his face that could light up the entire Pride Lands was clear to see; even from this far away. It dipped into a confused frown when he saw I wasn't smiling back at him.

Complete dread swept over me when he ran at top speed towards me. Any other time I would have shortened the distance with him, but all I could do was lay down and bury my face in my front legs. His large footsteps got closer until I could hear him come to a stop. Small quivers escaped my lips as I waited for the gunshot. All I could hear was my voice and Lee crouching down and I felt him gently nudge my shoulder.

"Mom?" Lee asked.

I gasped, "Please, go away. Before you get hurt."

"Hurt? Mom, what's the matter! It's me, Lee."

"Lee, honey. If you stay here, you're going to get shot! Leave now!"

All I felt was Lee's gigantic arms wrap around me as he rested my head in his lap. He continued to stroke my head and neck until I became quiet and relaxed. Time passed both in a flash and in slow motion as we lay there together. It took me a full ten minutes for me to work up the courage to speak to my son.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too mom. I trust everyone is doing okay back home?"

I sighed, "We've been surviving, no thanks to me. I've missed you so much, I haven't been looking out for your siblings."

Lee kissed my head, "It's never too late to help the people you love."

"And your friend, Jason" I began, "has been doing a great job keeping us safe."

Lee chuckled, "I know. I've been... able to check in on you guys every now and again."

I finally looked up at him, "Really?"

"Yeah, and hey, I met up with grandma Sarabi and grandpa Mufasa. And Kopa, he looks so much like you and Simba."

My head shot up at the mention of his name. My first boy and my second boy meeting each other filled me with the most joy for the first time in weeks. The thought of his small body being carried around by his protective big brother would be one of the best sights to see.

"Does he... remember Simba and I"

"Yeah, you and Simba are almost everything he talks about. That and how much he likes Jenny."

"Jenny your human sister?"

Lee nodded, "Yup. Almost immediately after they both died, grandpa Mufasa found them with Kopa. They all have been kind of looking after him. I guess in a way they are trying to repay you for taking care of me."

"That's... that's amazing. When you get back to them, please tell them I said 'thank you"

"You bet I will. And can you tell the rest of the family back home that I love them?"

"Of course, I will. I swear I will make a better effort to support the family again."

"I know you will. And hey, I've been able to look in on everyone, but Simba looks like he isn't just grieving. He looks like he's... vengeful."

I nodded, "Simba hasn't been home much since your funeral. He usual spends all day patrolling the Pride Lands, looking for more of the hunters that kidnapped Kion and Kiara. Only coming home near sunset, barely saying a word to me or the cubs."

"Shit."

"Hey! You watch your mouth! I don't care if we barely see each other anymore. You don't talk like that in front of me. Understand me, young male?" Only being half serious.

Lee chuckled, "Yes, ma'am."

His eyes started to droop as he let out several long yawns. Saying something about all his 'training' taking a lot out of him. With a wide grin on my face, I told him to lie down. Immediately getting the point, he laid down on my stomach as I began to lick the top of his head. Not that he really needed it, but it just felt so good, just as good for me as it did for him. I continued to do this until I heard him fall asleep. Whispering 'I love you' as I laid my head on his chest and drifted off as well.