New Years Eve was here and Kim was behind nervous. Eric's family was in town to see Allie fir the first time since her birthday. The day had been a complete disaster and they had barely spoken since. Each time Allie hurried off the phone not wanting to speak to them. Adam had watched helplessly as she cleaned the house from top to bottom napping every time he offered to help. She had admitted that his parents lived in a pig sty so she wasn't sure why she was so freaked out but she didn't need the snide comments. They had also been surprised to find out Eric's brothers came out as well with their wives. So he had been sent to the store to buy snacks, appetizers and lots of food for dinner. The initial plan was to go out to eat but with all the extra people it seemed more of a bother.
"Kim darling. You need to calm down some. Allie is feeding off your nerves. She's already nervous enough. Let's try not to stress her out more." He held her rubbing his hands up and down her back. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just worried it's going to be a shit show again. None of us need that. And I really just want our kids to be seen as equals, not less than because they aren't biological. Maybe I kind of see it from their point but they don't have to be so blatant about it. A small gesture wouldn't kill them." Her words muffled as her head was buried in his chest. "I know, I really do. Maybe this time apart from their grand daughter made things more clear to them." He could only hope. He hated watching his daughter and girlfriend having their hearts broken. It was painful and unnecessary.
He also knew Kim didn't approve of one of the wives stating she was just like the other two ex wives. And that the brother couldn't be alone for very long. Always jumping from one relationship to the next. It was sad really. "They will be here soon. We should start preparing the snacks. I'm sure they will be hungry." Kim rolled her eyes as she left the safe confines of his arms and headed to the kitchen. "Let me help. It's the least I can do." He watched her nod as he grabbed small plates and napkins. It didn't take long till the counter top was full of snacks and cold drinks. When the door bell rang Kim looked like she could vomit but held it together long enough to open the door and great the guests. Adam had gone to retrieve the kids who were playing happily upstairs.
"I will grab the door. Try to relax a bit." Adam headed to the door leaving Kim to take several deep breaths. "Hello! Welcome! Come on in." Adam tried to sound upbeat and welcoming but he really just felt annoyed. "Thanks Adam. You remember everyone." Eric asked nervously. "Yeah good to see you all again. Let me take your coats." He took the time to hang the coats while Eric's family moved further into the house. Kim moved to greet them realizing she couldn't avoid it. "Hey everyone. Welcome! Snacks and drinks on the counter top. Help yourselves." Kim sighed taking in the situation. "Where's Allie?" Eric asked feeling unsure in the moment. "She's upstairs with Ry guy." Kim replied. "Allie Cat your daddy is here sweetheart!" Adam yelled up the stairs.
"Coming Daddy Adam." They could all hear her reply. He saw Eric's parents visibly shudder hearing that but he didn't care. He loved it. "Okay sweetheart. Bring your brother down too please." Adam called back up the stairs to her. "Okay no problem." Kim smiled hearing her daughter being so cooperative. The family had moved around the living room waiting for Allie to come down. Everyone except Eric's parents had grabbed some food and a drink. They also seemed genuinely happy to be there. None of them had a problem with the life Kim was living and were grateful that Allie had a full time father figure in her life.
"Kim you seem to be doing really well. Like the past is no longer haunting you." Devon spoke. The two had always been close and understood how and why she had moved on. "I have been doing really well. Since Adam came back into my life the nightmares have gone away. 13 years of hell and it all went away thanks to one person. I haven't been this happy in 13 years." She knew Adam had heard them as he waited for Allie and Riley to make it down the stairs. "That's great. Sounds like you were always meant to find each other again." Devon was so happy for Kim and for Allie. "Too bad we missed each other a few years back. But if we hadn't missed each other we wouldn't have Ry. It all happened for a reason." Adam mused as he returned with Riley in his arms and Allie following close behind.
"Hi daddy!" Allie climbed onto his lap to get a hug. "Hey Allie! Make sure you say hi to your uncles and aunts and your grandparents." Eric encouraged. Allie shook her head no and buried herself in her fathers arms. "Allie your grandparents want to visit with you." Eric tried again but she just gripped his shirt tighter. "Hey Allie Cat can you come play with your brother? I sure he would like to play blocks with you." Adam tried to make the whole situation less awkward. "Okay." Allie got up and walked towards Riley but stayed away from her grandparents. Eric's brother Mark got up and went to play with the kids and so did his wife Devon. The kids were laughing and having a good time. Kim could feel the tension building.
"Kim! You did this! You turned her against us." Angi, Erics mom yelled. "First off lower your voice! And secondly this is most certainly not my fault. I encourage her to talk to you both but you refuse to see Riley as her brother and treat him like an equal. That hurts her. She loves Riley and loves Adam. We are a family. We made that very clear at her birthday but you still don't get it. Eric said you were trying but you haven't shown it, at all. So grow up. This is what families look like these days. And if you can't accept it then be prepared to never see my daughter again." Kim was stern with her words. She refused to back down on this.
"Kim you can't do that! She's our only grandchild!" Tom barked back. "Actually dad she can. And I support her on this. Our daughter has been afraid of you both all day. That's not on Kim or Adam. That's on you two. All you had to do was accept this new life they have going and accept Riley as a grandchild too and things would be fine. Adams parents accepted Allie no issue. Kim parents accepted Riley no questions asked. And you should have accepted him too. My daughter deserves better. Why don't you try treating him like you treat your god sons. You know the kids from a family friend who has caused nothing but issues for our family. But that's fine. You two have a big decision to make. Till then I'm gonna get a snack for the kids." Eric walked away seeing both Kim and Adam shocked by the scene in front of them.
Adam followed him to the kitchen wanting to check in. "You okay man?" He asked watching Eric clenching the counter tops. "Um yeah. I really thought they were working on it. But I guess not. I get that it's hard knowing Kim moved on but seeing it makes it harder. But it doesn't make what they are doing okay. She's happy and that's all I ever wanted." He sighed looking at Adam who understood completely. "That was all I ever wanted too when we were apart. But in reality we needed each other to survive. We literally heal each other. We allow each other to move past the past. She my soul mate, my missing piece, my other half, my everything. And she is the everything to my son too. Our children have the best mom ever." Adam patted Eric on the back before leaving the kitchen with a drink for Kim and himself.
Several hours later Kim removed herself from the awkward atmosphere to make dinner for the family. The tension had yet to let up and Kim needed a break. As she prepared dinner she tried to block out the tension. It was hard to do but she tried her hardest. She prepared stuffed shells from scratch with an Italian turkey sausage. She also made a salad and garlic bread. It definitely helped to fill the time but it wouldn't last. She would have to return to the living room eventually. She could hear Adam laughing at something the kids had done. She couldn't help but smile at how great of a father he was. He really had stepped it up when the kids came into his life.
After dinner was in the oven Kim headed back to the living room. "Dinner will be ready in 30." Kim sat on the couch trying to make conversation with Eric's family. It wasn't easy at all. His parents were pretty much ignoring her. Angry that she refused to back down. Even more angry that their own son was turning against them. But it had to be done. He couldn't watch his little girl suffer. Watching her scared of his parents killed him. How they couldn't see what they were doing was beyond him. At least he had one brother and sister in law who wanted to be in Allies life the right way. His other brother didn't know how to stand up for himself or really have his own thoughts. He did as told and allowed his wife to control what they did and how they did it. It was unhealthy but he didn't listen to reason or concern.
When dinner was ready Kim worked to plate the kids dinner and Adam set the table. Eric worked to get drinks for everyone. He was determined to make this modern family thing work for all of them. The kids were seated first with their food cut into smaller pieces. The rest was set on the table for everyone to serve themselves. The entire was quiet the only conversation coming from the kids who happily talked to the adults they liked. It was crazy how both kids just seemed to ignore those who were mean and had an impure heart. Adam placed both kids down when they were finished eating to go play more by themselves. He hoped they could try to smooth things out. "Kim thank you so much for hosting this. Dinner was delicious." Devon offered trying to create conversation.
"You are very welcome. We are happy you all came out to visit. The kids really enjoyed playing with you both. I doubt they will make it to bed time tonight." She was grateful that the kids had some fun while the family was there. She wished it had more but it was something. "We really love those kids! Adam you did a great job with Riley. He is such a sweet boy." Devon watched Adam smile gratefully. "Thank you. I really appreciate that. But I think he really blossomed under Kim's love and care. He really has taken to having a mothers love." Adam commented in return. "I'm sure he was lovely before that as well." Devon and Mark loved the kids and saw no different and really wanted to make sure Kim, Adam and Eric new that. "Too bad his mother isn't around." Angi mumbled under her breath.
"Yeah it is a real shame but mentally she is unfit to be a parent to our kid or any kid. She's where she belongs and our son is safe. He never really knew her. She only had him for a month before she dropped him off with me. And coming from a family of divorce I know how hard it is to have a broken family. I never wanted that for my kid but it happened and we are making the best of it." He was pissed but tried hard not to show it. "Mom, Dad this is a great family. And I'm thrilled my daughter is a part of it. She's happy, healthy and thriving. That is all any parent could want. And with my schedule of traveling all the time Allie having a second father is truly a good thing. And I couldn't think of a better person for that to be than Adam." Eric looked somewhat defeated but also happy with the life they were living.
Kim and Adam always made him a part of everything. Made sure he spoke with Allie daily. And allowed him time with her whenever he was in town. They never let him feel left out. He was even invited to all the school functions. The school was well aware of the family dynamic and never made them feel uncomfortable about it. In fact the embraced it. Tried to use them as an example of what modern families look like. To show its possible for parents who don't stay together to stay a united front for their child or children. They made sure they never showed the kids them fighting over them. They never wanted their kids to grow up how they did. Families fight, parents undermining the other parent. They all lived with childhood trauma. They didn't want their children to have those memories or horrors to live through.
"Look I get that you guys don't like that Eric and I didn't work out. That I moved on. But let me try to explain something that maybe you guys don't really understand. Your son and I couldn't never have worked. I was never first in his life. Work, friends, golf, the Jeep, drinking. He never handled my nightmares at all. He would leave during each one. He couldn't handle the panic attacks either. He'd leaving during those too. Even the night our daughter was conceived I had a horrible nightmare and he left. I had nightmares and panic attacks for 13 years and they all went away when Adam came back into my life. The light switch flipped and I started to really live again. I felt like me, the me before the rape. I will always regret letting Adam go after I was raped but I was young and had no idea how to handle it. I pushed him away, literally closing the door on that life. I wish we never lost those years but we did and because we did we all have Allie. We have Riley and I wouldn't change anything because of that." Kim squeezed Adams knee knowing it was hard for both of them to talk about.
"I agree with Kim completely. I didn't know how to help her then. I didn't know how to fix her. But with time I learned she had to fix herself and that could only be done with time. I tried to move on to for 13 years but Kim never left my heart or mind. We make each other stronger, better people. We make each other better cops and better parents. Plus it helps that we like the same things. We both like running, we both like sports, same taste in food, music and movies. We connected right away and that connection never dimmed. She literally is my soul mate, my other half, my missing piece. And I will never let anyone come between us ever again. Now if you will excuse me I need to check on my kids." Adam got up and left the room. Defending their relationship was fine but rehashing this again was on his last nerve.
"Well I guess that explains a lot. Explains why you have always been so reactive. Why didn't you tell us?" Angi asked. "I don't talk about it to anyone. Only the people from that time frame know about that. And Adam knows. I was honest and told him everything. But other than that I don't talk about it. Allie only know that a bad man hurt me. I've tried my hardest to put it behind me. The nightmares plagued me for years. And a lot of them were the day I said goodbye to Adam. I need him in my life. He makes me happier than I ever have been. This is where we are all want to be." Kim got up to start cleaning up the dishes. She was done with the conversation. "Kim let us clean up. You go relax a bit with the kids." Mark offered knowing she worked hard to cook and they should help with the mess. Kim nodded and headed to the living room to hang with the kids.
Adam stood to hug her as soon as he saw her. "I had nightmares about that day too. Let's just keep moving forward." He has never admitted it before. He knew she did and knew she had that nightmare the morning they found each other again but he had never admitted it. He didn't want her to feel worse than she did. "Forward, always!" Kim leaned in to kiss him sweetly. The rest of the family filtered into the living room sitting on the couches. They really didn't know what to say after Kim's confessions and even Adams. They however did watch the couple seeing the true feelings beaming between them. To an outsider who didn't know them at all it would have been blatantly obvious that they were in love. To these people who had chosen not to see it the picture was becoming clear. They were finally getting it.
Dessert was served shortly after. The kids were getting tired and needed to get to bed before the meltdown happened. They were great kids but even great kids had meltdowns when exhausted. And all the extra attention and extra playing led to some very tired children. Kim secretly hoped that the family would leave soon but that didn't seem to their plan. Just about 8pm the kids were falling asleep in front of the adults. Eric took Allie up to bed wanting to get a few extra minutes with her before he left for home. Adam had picked up Riley and headed for the stairs when Tom stopped him. "We get it now. We will work on it. We promise this time. You never looked at our son like that. You two are meant to be." No one was able to reply before they walked out the door leaving the rest stunned. Adam placed a soft kiss on Kim's forehead before heading up the stairs.
The adults all said goodbye after tucking the kids in. Kim and Adam were finally left to themselves. "Ready to head to bed?" She asked looking beyond exhausted. "Absolutely! I need to crash after today. This was exhausting." Adam hung his head as they headed up to bed. "Yeah it's been a long day. I hated bringing up the past but if it got them to see that we are meant to be then I'm okay with it." She wrapped her arms around his body as she buried her face in his chest. "I agree. I'm just thankful you didn't have to go into details. That would have killed me. I never want you to have to relive it. It breaks my heart each and every time." He clenched his eyes shut as he held her tight. "I hate reliving it too. I hardly think about it anymore. Of course I know it happened but I don't feel the constant reminder anymore. I'm not afraid to go to sleep anymore. It's crazy I haven't taken a Xanax in months. I've just been able to sleep peacefully knowing I'm safe." Kim leaned back to see tears in Adam's eyes. She wiped them away with her thumb.
"Why the tears baby?" She was concerned. "You feel safe. You haven't been using your rescue meds. That is amazing! I'm so proud of you! And so happy for you!" He swung her around laughing as she squealed with happiness. "It's all because of you. You saved me. You brought me back to life." She kissed him hard pouring all her emotions into the kiss. "Darling. You saved yourself all those years ago. I just gave you the last push. The push of safety. Now you are living the life you always dreamed of. Just you, me and our crazy kids." He held her a bit longer before letting her get ready for bed.
They settled into bed wrapped together like always. "Hey Kim. Have you thought about going off your other meds now?" He asked truly curious. "Um yeah I have. Honestly I'm scared to go off them. It would need to be a weening process and withdrawals would be brutal. I'm also not sure I'm ready for that yet. I have discussed with Dr Charles but we haven't made a decision yet." She wanted to be honest about it. She truly wanted to stay on it because she knew how to handle life on it and wasn't sure she could survive without it. "Whatever you decide I support. And if you decide to go off them, we will go to the condo so you can withdrawal without the kids seeing it." He hadn't realized that it would be such an ordeal to go off them. But he reasoned it was like any drug that a person was addicted to. The body needs it at this point and only knows how to function with it. He actually worried him now but he meant what he said about supporting her decision.
"I think I would like to get through another anniversary of that day before I try to go off them. Make sure the nightmares are truly gone. Going off the meds could trigger the nightmares again. And going back on the meds would be weeks of hell again. I need to be certain first. One day I will fill you in on the hell of going on the meds. But not tonight. Tonight we sleep." She smiled as snuggled deeper. "Sounds good darling! I love you! Forever!" He whispered kissing her head. "Love you too! Forever!"