Disclaimer: Lucasfilm, Bioware, Disney, et al. and whoever they sell the rights to next own Star Wars and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I write this for fun and not for any monetary gain.
Chapter 13: Of Mothers
Entering Anchorhead again, the couple was stopped by a female human in tears.
"Please, will you help me? I have nothing. Nothing left!" she sobbed. "My husband was a hunter… killed out on the dunes. This wraid plate is all I have left. Please, will you buy it? I don't need a handout. I just can't sell it to Fazza without a license. Please, I'm worried about having it. They are so rare... They are worth more than 500 credits!"
Revan frowned. Something felt wrong about this. "I don't mind selling it for you to Fazza…" he answered after a moment of thought. "Just give it to me and I'll be back in a few minutes."
"I... I don't know. How could I be sure you would come back? Are you sure you can't buy it? Please?" she begged.
"I don't know… How can I be sure this wraid plate is indeed worth 500 credits?" he asked reasonably.
Instead of answering the question, the woman simply begged harder. "Please! My children and I are counting on the credits, please help me?"
This is really starting to smell like a scam, he mentally told Bastila. A typical scam tactic is to heighten the urgency of the situation in an attempt to override your rational thoughts. However, he opted to be patient for a bit instead of just leaving, "How about this? We are standing right outside of the hunting lodge. I can take you inside on my license just like I am about to take my girlfriend. I'll vouch for you and you can hand it directly to Fazza in exchange for the credits. Then there won't be any trust issues," he proposed.
Instead of taking his reasonable offer to enter the hunting lodge and sell the item, the woman immediately turned to Bastila and begged even more. "Please, I hope you are not as heartless as your boyfriend! My children and I are starving! We need this money to get off this rock! My children, my poor children!" She started sobbing again.
The Sith apprentice looked rather unsure of how to deal with this situation. The Force was not offering a clear answer. She could feel fear and desperation, but from what she did not know. Was the woman fearing for the children she claimed to have, or was she afraid of being caught lying? Was she desperate to leave Tatooine, or was she desperate to succeed in her scam? Bastila's other senses also did not offer a clear answer. Are you certain this is a scam? she mentally inquired.
I am fairly sure. There's no way I could possibly cheat her if I took her into the lodge and let her sell it herself. The fact she remains so insistent that we buy it right here makes it pretty clear. Just Force persuade her to hand it over. If we manage to sell it, we'll give her however much it sold for. If we don't, well, we'll know for sure it's a scam, the Sith Master replied.
Okay… she mentally agreed. She intoned, infusing her words with the Force to impose her will, "You trust me. You will give me the plate to sell."
The woman handed it over without any more protest.
A minute later, they were in front of Fazza with the wraid plate. Bastila started, "I was given this wraid plate. How much is this thing actually worth?"
"Hmm… let me see that," Fazza asked. After looking at it for a few seconds, he asked, "Who did you get this from? It's a nicely made copy, but it's not the real thing. I only deal with the real deal, but you might be able to sell it for 20 credits to someone looking for a cheap decoration."
"So it was a scam," she said in realization. "I was told it was worth 500 credits."
"Did someone convince you to buy this for 500 credits?" Fazza asked. "That sounds rather… yesterday. Sharina Fizark, I think it was, wanted to sell the biggest desert wraid skull plate I have ever seen this season. Terrible thing that happened to her husband. Komad returned empty-handed yesterday from his krayt dragon hunt, but took her inside on his hunting licence and she managed to sell it for 500 credits. It seems like someone heard about this and tried to swindle you out of some of your credits. This is rather unfortunate. I hope you learn to not trust people so easily in the future."
"Well, sorry to bother you," she replied.
"And if you run into Sharina again, let her know her husband's killers were duly punished," Revan interjected.
Outside, the woman was nowhere to be found. She turned to her Master, "I am sorry for doubting you, Master. It's just… so hard to not feel bad for her."
"No harm done, my dear," he said as he patted her head. "It really is the fault of the Jedi Order to always preach about helping anyone you run across and never talk about the darker reality out there. During the Mandalorian wars, many Jedi under my command fell for such scams, to the point where I had to actually introduce anti-sob story training."
Bastila sighed. "It's one more important life lesson the Jedi never taught."
"One they can't teach without more of them questioning why they sit idly and do nothing," the Sith Master added snidely.
"Ah well, at least I learned something today without actually paying 500 credits for it," his apprentice remarked.
Despite the minor hiccup, they continued their way to the cantina, and soon spotted Bastila's mother.
"Greetings, Mother," she said as she approached the older woman.
"Bastila, you are back! Did you find the holocron?" Helena asked eagerly.
"Yes, I did," she said as she took it out. "It's right here."
"I just want to see your father one last time before I die," the mother said as she stared at the cube, her voice full of longing and sadness. The way she said it disturbed the daughter somewhat.
"Is there a problem?" Suddenly, she remembered what the Twi'lek Malare told her on Dantooine. "Wait, they told me you were sick… Are you alright, Mother?" Bastila asked, worried.
"Yes, I am sick. I didn't have the heart to tell you last time when I already told you about your father's death. Your father spent his last years trying to pay for my treatments. That's why he went for the pearls. Even though I begged him not to… I told him to let me go, but he won't hear it. There is nothing that could be done anymore…" Helena finished with a sigh.
"Here, take the datacron." Bastila handed the it over. Her mother took it and started looking through it.
Master, is there anything you can do for her? the daughter asked mentally.
I am never a master of healing, he admitted. Draining life with the Force doesn't count, as that only heals yourself. But you, Bastila, managed to save me from an almost certain death on my old flagship. If anyone can do this, it's you.
"Thank you, Bastila, for allowing me to see your father one last time," Helena interrupted their mental conversation. "Now I can die in peace."
"No, Mother, come with me. Let me try to heal you with the Force," the Sith apprentice pleaded. "I will not let my one remaining parent die without a fight."
"You can do that?" her mother asked in wonder.
"I don't know if I can, but I am going to do my best," the daughter promised. "Follow me back to our ship."
Half an hour later, Helena Shan lay on the bed in the Ebon Hawk's medical bay, resting peacefully. Bastila had put her into a healing trance. She stood beside the bed, with her Master watching from behind her.
"Shall we start?" she asked.
"Start when you are ready," he replied.
The Sith apprentice closed her eyes, and reached inward. She pulled out the joyful memories of her mother, before the Jedi had mind-tricked her. She remembered her happy past as Revan's willing slave girl. She thought about her love for her Master, rekindled once again. She contemplated repairing her relationship with her mother once more. Finally, she recalled her desperate struggle on the burning flagship, channelling the power of the Force to preserve her Master's life, because some part of her couldn't bear to lose him, even though another part of her suspected that he might have turned evil.
She let the feeling of love and determination fill her, and gathered the Force from all around, channelling it to undo the damage caused by her mother's disease. She could feel through the Force the rotting darkness of the disease in her mother, and let the bright light of the purest love shine through it, burning it all away. The light shone brighter and brighter, banishing the last traces of the darkness into the abyss whence it came.
As she finished healing her mother, she found herself drained from the act, and unsteady on her feet. Her lover quickly held her up.
"And that is the true power of love and attachment," she said in realization in spite of her exhaustion. "The power the Jedi are so afraid of, that they would shy away from, and label it the 'Dark Side.' I could feel it, the love, the bond between flesh and blood, burning away the darkness of disease."
"Indeed," confirmed the Sith Master. "That is in fact, a manifestation of the true Light Side of the Force, even though the Jedi try to deny it. Both the Light and the Dark have their power, and both have their uses. To achieve true mastery of the Force, one must understand all its aspects—even if one can never find a use for some of it." He continued softly, "Now, Bastila, you are exhausted. You should rest." He carried her bridal-style back into their room.
Bastila awoke in the middle of the night. She had rested for most of the afternoon and evening, but now she was no longer tired. Not wanting to awake her Master, she tried to find something to distract herself without getting out of bed. She reached out to his mind, searching for his memories of his time on Taris while she was imprisoned…
Bastila found herself tied securely to a bed, unable to move at all. Where am I? she wondered. Is Master doing some sort of bondage session?
Just as she was about to relax and enjoy herself, the door opened, and the entire Jedi Council walked in. Her first reaction was embarrassment, but instead of the expected shock and disgust, the Jedi looked grave, as if they were about to do something terrible.
They surrounded her in a circle while she desperately struggled to get off the bed to no avail. Soon, the Jedi closed their eyes and began chanting, and she started to get a headache. Her mind was under assault from the entire Jedi Council! She must have been drugged too, for she found it very difficult to concentrate. Soon, she felt her mind being ravaged by the combined forces and screamed out in unbearable pain.
She heard distant shouts of "Bastila! Bastila!" as well as finding herself being shaken awake. She slowly awoke, finding no headache. She sighed in relief.
"What happened?" Revan asked.
She explained her experience. She was unsure what to call it, really.
"It is as I suspected… you relived the nightmare I had after I crashed on Taris," he explained. "It was the memory of the Jedi performing mind rape—I don't think any other description covers it, and it hurt so badly that I completely disconnected my mind. After the crash, I suspect that memory resurfaced. From what Carth told me, I was thrashing about in my sleep as if I was having a seizure. I don't remember anything since the mind rape until the attack on the Endar Spire, and that's probably because my mind repressed those memories after that nightmare."
"I am so sorry, Master," Bastila sobbed.
"For what?" he asked.
"For bringing you to the Jedi. For not preventing the mind rape. For not seeing through the lies of the Jedi sooner. For not being there for you while you suffered." She continued sobbing. "I can't imagine the horror you have been through because of my stupidity. Not only did you have to suffer through the torture that was the mind wipe, you also had to live a lie, forced to serve those you hated in truth… and it was all my fault!"
Revan pulled her closer. "Don't be so harsh on yourself," he said as he comforted her. "You couldn't have known. Even I couldn't have imagined the Jedi doing this until they actually did it."
"It was through my actions, and my actions alone, that this happened. Ignorance should not be a valid defence…" she continued in self-recrimination.
"And yet you did so much good that day too, Bastila," he reminded her. "You carried my unconscious and battered body all the way from the bridge to a hangar on my burning flagship. My body was essentially dead weight, and I was heavier than you! All the while, everything was collapsing around us. Somehow, you managed to protect both of us from any falling debris and explosions. I would have told you to abandon me and save yourself if I could, but somehow you saved both of us against all the odds… when everyone else—Jedi or Sith, soldier or technician—perished onboard. You hurled away giant clumps of broken durasteel blocking our path away, yet you still held onto me. Whatever role you had in what happened later, you did more than enough to make up for it."
"Yet, that was only possible because you shielded me with the Force during Malak's attack," the submissive girl protested weakly. "If you hadn't, you might not have been injured at all. You did all that you could for me, and I couldn't return the favour."
"It doesn't make what you did any less heroic though," he countered. "I may have enabled you to save both of us, but you did the hard work despite the odds. Besides, I couldn't live with myself if you died under my watch…"
"But I thought you were unconscious… How could you have seen what happened?"
"I felt it in the Force, Bastila, during a few lucid moments. Even if I couldn't talk or even see or hear, I could still sense what you did," he explained. "I am so proud of what you accomplished. For what it's worth, I forgive you for any role you might have had… later. You were punished for it too. Remember, it still worked out for us, didn't it? Don't worry about it…"
"If you say so, Master…" she still sounded unsure. "Wait, did I make you relive that nightmare too? I really shouldn't have been poking around in your head without your permission…"
"Not quite. I found myself detached from the situation, as if I was a third-person observer, and I didn't feel any pain at all. So, don't worry about causing me pain." He subconsciously put his hand on her head, patting it, and sliding it down to her neck, running his thumb over her collar. Turning more serious, he told her, "I know I said I'd share my memories with you, but you have to ask first. You must not blindly poke around my head like that without permission. It's too dangerous. A punishment is in order."
Bastila was horrified. Not my collar! Please don't take away my collar… It only has been a few days, and she had already grown so attached to it. She knew that removing it would mean she had failed her Master so much that he didn't want her as his slave anymore. She loved submitting to him; having that taken away from her was one of her worst fears. "I am sorry, Master," she said, barely holding her tears in check.
"Go kneel in front of the bed while you explain to me why you were being a bad girl," he ordered, sitting up on the bed.
"Yes, Master," she answered immediately, somewhat relieved. She climbed out of her bed and lowered herself onto her knees, exactly as ordered, staring at the floor, her eyes wet with unshed tears. She felt so awful for having failed her Master, who trusted her and was so proud of her.
"So, why did you do it, my slave?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts.
She hung her head. "Some of your memories are intoxicating…" she explained. She started reminiscing, "Especially those of your time as a Sith Lord. You are so strong, so powerful. Others might be intimidated, but I know you would never hurt me, Master. Nothing makes me feel safer than being with you and seeing you in action, knowing no one can stand against you. I just wanted to see what you did on Taris in my absence. The temptation was strong, especially knowing you have single-handedly slain hundreds of foes to find and save me."
"Is that all?" he questioned.
"I know I am selfish…" she admitted. "I failed you that day, Master… That memory… it only happened because of my actions, my stupidity… Then today, I made you relive it out of my own selfishness." Her voice broke. "I know 'sorry' is not enough, but I sincerely apologize, Master…" She fell to the floor, clutching his foot in her arms, sobbing.
The dom sat silently, letting her sort through her emotions. He patted her head, offering her some comfort. After a few minutes, her sobs subsided.
"Apologies accepted, Bastila," he said authoritatively.
"Thank you so much, Master!" she cried out with relief.
He pulled her into his arms, pulling her back into their bed. They sat there, cuddling each other, her head comfortably resting on his shoulder as they enjoyed the skin-to-skin contact. Bastila relaxed, savouring the safe and secure feeling in her Master's arms.
After a few comfortable minutes, he decided to ask her some questions to satisfy his curiosity. "Now, since I don't remember much about the Endar Spire, I just want to ask. Who was Trask Ulgo? The name sounded like some sort of Alderaanian nobility, but why was he my bunkmate?" Belatedly, he realized that it would keep her mind on the events, but it was too late.
"He was Alderaanian nobility, yes. The Jedi asked him to watch over you, against my wishes. They thought you might regain some of your memories and become a threat and wanted to ensure you could be neutralized quickly if that happened. I told them I could deal with you, but they wanted insurance," Bastila explained, saying the last word with disgust.
"And they let a random noble watch over the Dark Lord of the Sith?" he asked incredulously. "One would think you'd be more qualified to deal with a powerful Force user."
"It's not as silly as it sounds. Trask Ulgo was an elite soldier with some innate Force talents and had killed Dark Jedi before. They thought he could watch you better as your bunk mate, since it would be rather strange for a Jedi to share a room with you, especially a female one."
"A random Dark Jedi is nothing like the head of the Sith… You've seen how the 'elite' soldiers fared on my flagship. And why did he try to fight a Sith during the battle to allow me to escape? Was that overconfidence?"
"Well, Trask was only told that you were a mind-wiped Dark Jedi and that you were important because there was important intelligence locked in your mind that we were trying to coax out. He probably took it upon himself to preserve the intelligence."
"I see, so he was just another pawn of the Jedi Council, dying for a cause he didn't understand." He shook his head. Suddenly, a thought entered his mind. "Why were we going to Taris in the first place?" he wondered.
"The Jedi Council wanted the Endar Spire to visit all the planets that you visited during the Mandalorian wars and after…" she explained. "You can imagine why…"
"I see… they hoped I would remember something about the Star Forge. They have no idea which worlds may hold the clues to its location, so they decided to take me to all of them," the Sith Lord easily deduced. She confirmed with a nod. "Well, that was informative. Let's go back to sleep, Bastila."
She shuddered, remembering her nightmare. "I wish I could sleep, Master," she said weakly, "but I can't. I'll just find something to do…"
Revan reached out with the Force, and she soon found herself losing consciousness… Where would I be without Master? was her last thought that night.
The next day, Bastila was feeling restless from her explorations the night before. The couple had already replaced the lesser power crystals in their lightsabers with the krayt dragon pearls. In Revan's case, that was the Sigil crystal and in Bastila's case, that was the Sapith. There was little else to be done that she could think of: her mother was still resting and healing nicely, and they still had two days before they needed to rescue their allies.
"Can you teach me something, Master?" she asked, hoping to take her mind off the night before.
"Yes, Bastila. You are ready for the next lesson," the Sith Master started. He continued in a lecture tone, "You have now achieved considerable skill in the art of illusions. It is said that 'all warfare is based on deception.' Illusions fit this perfectly. When used well, they can easily turn the tide of battle. From what I have heard at least, your battle meditation is like this as well. Making the enemy believe they are fighting a hopeless battle when they aren't. Is that what it is like?"
"Yes, Master. Well, parts of it. You can also help coordinate your allies and raise their morale," she answered.
The Sith continued his lecture, "The Sith Lord Naga Sadow was a master of illusions. He would use it to create fearsome monsters to scare his enemies into surrendering. That is deception. When you attack, you want the enemy to believe you are attacking elsewhere to divert their resources away. That is also deception. When you set a trap, you want the enemy to think there is no trap and fall for it. That too is deception.
"Still, creating giant monsters is not the only way to use illusions in combat. You can also confuse your enemy." As he said it, he created two illusions of himself by his side. The illusions raised their lightsabers, and the apprentice instinctively raised her lightsaber to block their strikes, only to have the blades cut through her saber, before passing harmlessly through her body. "This can work even better when your true self is hidden, only to strike at the most unexpected moment."
"I understand," said Bastila humbly. She was shaken by how much his illusions affected her.
"Barring size and distance, there are effectively no limits to the art of illusions. The only limitation to what your illusion can be is your imagination," Revan lectured. To emphasize the point, he summoned an illusion of Malak's head mounted upside down on top of Vandar's small torso, onto which eight spider-like legs are attached.
The Sith apprentice looked at the ridiculous image and laughed at its absurdity. She took the lesson to heart, however.
"Now that you know what is possible, it's time to apply this knowledge in combat," he concluded the lesson.
For the next half hour, Bastila tried her best to make an illusion fight in her place. She found that she could control the illusion, but it left her true self dangerously open to attack.
"Master, is there a way to not focus so much on maintaining the illusion?" the apprentice asked in frustration.
"Do you remember how the Jedi say you should give yourself over to the Force and let it guide your actions in a fight?" She nodded. "While that is a suboptimal way to fight, you could let the Force control your illusions somewhat. The Force can only work with your knowledge, of course, otherwise the Jedi would not be studying combat techniques. It is important that you are capable of imagining how the illusion should fight, though the Force can do the actual imagination for you."
"I see… I always wondered how you could make illusions life-like while still being able to fight," she noted with understanding.
Bastila spent the next hour or so trying to perfect her technique when her mother walked in.
"What is going on?" she said with some surprise, seeing two copies of her daughter engaged in lightsaber combat with her boyfriend.
Bastila turned around in surprise, failing to see Revan's lightsaber and block it. "Ouch!" she yelled. Fortunately, it was on a training setting and only stung without causing any real injury. However, the sudden shock also caused her illusions to vanish, leaving exactly one Bastila in the room.
"We are practicing lightsaber combat," her teacher decided to explain for her.
"This is the first time I have seen a Jedi making copies of themselves…" Helena commented. Suddenly, her eyes seemed to have caught sight of something interesting. "What is that you are wearing on your neck, Bastila?"
The submissive girl looked like her hand was caught in the cookie jar. "I— it's— uhh— it's my necklace," she claimed.
"Is that so?" her mother's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "It looks like some sort of a collar."
The Sith Master couldn't resist mentally adding a comment, While the sudden appearance of your collar might distract an enemy, you should probably practice keeping it hidden during combat.
Bastila's face turned red. "Uhhh… it is," she stuttered, answering her mother. She however, was oblivious to the mental comment, and thought her daughter's face turned red from her deductions.
"And that ring in front looks like it's for attaching a chain or something…" Helena trailed off, frowning.
While the O-ring on her collar was detachable, Bastila liked the idea of being led around and opted to keep it on at all times. She now regretted the decision. Her face turned tomato red, and she tried to explain, but only managed, "Uhhh…"
"Bastila, are you okay?" her mother interrupted, her voice full of concern. "You are not being forced into anything, are you?"
In response, the submissive's face turned even redder. "I am… uh… perfectly fine, mother. Look, can we just drop it?" In retrospect, it seemed that what tipped her mother off was her own awkwardness, and if she had answered the first question confidently, her mother would have accepted her answer. Her Master found it rather ironic that her fear of awkwardness led directly to the awkward situation.
"Is this… some sort of a… kink… for you two?" Helena asked, after having a realization. She looked a bit uncomfortable at the situation she now found herself in.
"Yes, and I don't want to talk about it. Can we just drop it?" Bastila whined.
"Okay…" the embarrassed mother agreed. "Let's forget this ever happened."
Without missing a beat, Bastila began, "Good afternoon, Mother. You seem to have recovered rather nicely."
"I feel much better now. Thanks to you," she replied gratefully.
"So, what do you plan to do now?" the daughter asked.
"I honestly don't know. Maybe I can tag along with you two. It would be nice to reconnect with my long-lost daughter," she answered.
"For now, maybe," Revan cut in. "Our ultimate destination is not a safe place."
"What do you mean?" Helena asked, somewhat suspicious.
"Suffice to say, it involves Darth Malak in some form," Bastila explained. "It's too dangerous for you to get caught in the confrontation."
"But not dangerous for you?" she shot back.
"It is dangerous for me too, but I can defend myself. I can use the Force and my lightsaber. Your only defence is to not be there," the Sith apprentice replied evenly.
"I am not a bad shot with a blaster!" the mother yelled indignantly.
The daughter grabbed a blaster, set it to the lowest power, which was barely enough to cause superficial burns, and handed it over to her mother. "Have you tried firing at a competent Force user? Try it. Fire at me."
She took the blaster with a huff and started firing at Bastila, who effortlessly deflected all the shots with her lightsaber—even though the mother pulled the trigger as fast as she could. Deciding that firing at Bastila was a lost cause, she fired at Revan instead. He raised his hand and stopped the shots in midair. Helena looked at the wall of red blaster bolts in disbelief. With a lazy wave of his hand, the bolts winked out of existence. Before she could recover, he telekinetically pulled the blaster out of her hand into his.
Seeing her implicit question, the Sith Master answered, "In case you are wondering, that would have worked with the blaster on full power as well."
Seeing how easily she was defeated, she conceded, "Okay, I admit I would be helpless in a fight against Force users. But for now, I am staying. Maybe you can drop me off somewhere nice."
"Yes, that's the plan," said Bastila. "Now, you must be hungry. Let's get lunch."
A/N: The side quest about selling the wraid plate for Shrina somehow feels like a classic scam that would happen on a game like RuneScape, in which the scammer makes whatever excuse saying that they couldn't sell some junk item themselves, but wants you to buy it from them and sell it for them. This is especially bothersome because you can take your party inside the hunting lodge on your hunting licence. While in the game, it's somehow not a scam, this doesn't really make sense. Therefore, it's portrayed as a scam that naïve Jedi fall for in this story.