Chapter 17

Family Visit AU Part 4: Reunion

1. the act or process of coming together again

2. the state or condition of having been brought together again

3. a gathering of relatives, friends, or former associates

Dictionary . com

Kate

'He's what?'

At this point it hardly occurred to Kate that there were other people in the room, one of whom was her daughter and she shouldn't be taught every foul word in the book. But Maker help her, was she tempted! What in the world was her brother thinking? When did he get the wool pulled over his eyes so far? Of course, it was old news that John Andrews had charm in spades and he never hesitated to use it. But especially Jacko should know better. He ought to have seen through that.

Jacko himself remained infuriatingly calm. 'On his way.'

'Yes, I got that. What I didn't get is the why.' Over the years she had forgotten how annoying he could be sometimes. She wasn't quite considering fratricide yet, but good grief, did he have to be such a fool? When it came to their father, it had always been Kate who had been gullible and forgiving, never Jacko.

'He wants to see you.'

'Well, isn't that nice for him.' Sarcasm had always served her well and it was by far the better alternative. Else she might resort to banging Jacko's ignorant head against a wall. 'Is he going to bring his little trophy wife and her son as well, you know, just to rub our noses into the fact that apparently he can do the whole perfect family routine as long as it's not with us?'

The words were falling out of her mouth and she wasn't even entirely sure how they just kept flowing and flowing when she didn't even know herself what she was going to say a second in advance. But of course it was true, all of it. And the resentment she thought had at least started to fade had proved to be as alive as it had ever been. It was boiling, growing like a cancer till she could almost feel it as bile at the back of her throat. And Jacko was in the forgiving mood, maybe had been for years?

What the hell has happened here?

Jacko glared at her. 'That isn't fair.'

'Isn't it?' Maker help her, her hands were actually shaking. She couldn't even define the emotion that made them do that. 'He carried on for years with Miss Goldilocks, whatever her name is…'

'Audrey,' Jacko supplied. 'And I know.'

Kate snorted. 'Do you?' She only had to close her eyes to remember everything: the shocked look in the woman's eyes when she realised her perfect husband had children from his former marriage, the damned necklace around her neck. 'He must have had his affair with her from the time we were about six, maybe even before.' And I helped him keep his dirty little secret, even if I didn't know I was doing it. Even now, the thought still made her sick. 'Whatever you think he deserves, my forgiveness isn't on that list.'

'He has changed.'

And the prize for lamest excuse in the universe goes to… 'How many times have you actually known that to happen?' she questioned. 'People never change.' And she rather thought she was in a better position than most to have an opinion on that matter. 'And even if he's somehow managed to not screw up his second marriage, that doesn't change things for us, does it?' She had made that decision to never let that man back into her life again. She had actually decided to let this whole visit pass without seeing him. Let him think she was dead. Kate couldn't care less about his feelings, hurt or otherwise. Look how that's turning out. You haven't even been back twenty-four hours.

'Just let him say sorry, Kate.' Jacko sounded tired, but then, foregoing a good night's sleep would do that to a body.

'So he did say sorry. I did wonder.' She clenched her hands into fists. That way nobody would notice the shaking.

'Bloody hell, Kate!' Jacko was getting agitated. 'You weren't really going to go back without at least letting him know you are alive, were you?'

'Oh hell, yes.' There was only sense in such a course of action; at least she wouldn't get arrested for assault.

'That's cold, Kate, even by your standards.'

She turned on her heel and left. The accusation stung, even more so because she knew that she was being just as cold as her brother accused her of being. But she couldn't face it. That man had made a waking nightmare of their lives for years and Kate did never too well in the whole forgive and forget department. Even these days, when she had so many other things to have bad dreams about, he still popped up every now and then, making her feel small, vulnerable and so, so alone. Thorin, bless him, had always held her afterwards, never saying a word. He didn't need to. He understood.

She found her way into the backyard purely on instinct. When looking back on it later, she couldn't even remember the process of getting there, which was bad news. Her hands were shaking and to her utter frustration her vision was getting blurred. Oh, for Durin's sake, no tears. He isn't bloody worth it, Andrews.

The distance helped a little, but not much. Her father was still looming over her like a guillotine and she couldn't exactly get out of here either. But dear Maker, did she want to run. And technically she could. She had a fairly good idea where the car keys were kept. She could take them, rush out, start the car and drive until the world made sense again. Until she felt safe again.

Give me another Battle of the Five Armies any day. It had not felt as threatening as the prospect of coming face to face with her father again. Orcs after all could only kill her. And right this moment it felt as if she was under attack.

'Kate, are you well?'

Thorin had the uncanny gift to know exactly when she needed him to show up. And right now, she needed him.

Of course, saying so was still so much of an effort. 'You do love stupid questions, don't you?' Hold me, just hold me now. I cannot do this. I don't know how. The words were so simple, so why was speaking them such a challenge? Or was it just that the pattern of not talking about feelings was so hard to break? Kate couldn't tell and right now really couldn't be bothered to analyse the situation either.

Thorin must have turned into a mind reader overnight, though. The next thing she knew his arms were wrapped tightly around her and as if by magic, the fight went right out of her. Words were unneeded, which was probably a good thing. There was nothing either of them could say that would make it any easier. This was happening and running was not going to happen.

'Do you need any assistance?' Thorin asked at last when the embrace ended.

'Other than your sword, you mean?' She knew it had been a good idea to leave that behind in Erebor. 'I don't know,' she admitted. 'I don't bloody know, Thorin. I haven't even seen the man since I was about seventeen. I didn't think I ever would again. I didn't think I would even want to. I don't want to,' she corrected herself. 'I just wanted to put it behind me.'

Of course, she never had, else why would she still have those dreams on occasion? Wanting something was not the same thing as getting it. If there was anyone who ought to know that by now, it was her.

'You get a chance to set things right.'

Thorin's words took her by surprise, just for a moment. Of course he would look on it like that. They never had a very long conversation about their fathers, but Kate had figured out over time that Thorin always regretted not getting the opportunity to say goodbye properly. Thráin had just given up, had just disappeared. In some way, Kate's father had done the same, but he had never been able to plead madness as an excuse.

'To say goodbye at the very least.' And bloody hell, when had he become so understanding?

'I don't know how,' she confessed. 'I don't… That man is poison, Thorin.' And the thought of him coming here frightened her. She did not want him near her life, near her husband and children. They had always been blessedly free of him, but now he would infect their lives as well.

Okay, and now you're exaggerating. Deep down she could admit that, she could admit that she was not being rational, but fear never was anyway. And even now, she couldn't fathom just why she was so scared of him.

Maybe it's because you know he still has the capacity to hurt you, Andrews, even after all these years. You never really let him go, not entirely.

'He hurt us all so much and now Jacko's gone and made peace with him and I don't rightly understand any of it.' Her hands had started shaking again. 'I can't even guarantee I won't punch him in the nose when I see him.'

'He must have earned it then,' Thorin observed.

'You don't know half of it,' she muttered bitterly. 'I just…' I just don't want to see him. I just don't want to be hurt again. I just want to pretend none of it ever happened. She took a deep breath. 'Can you tell me, if it was your father who was going to walk through that door, what would you do?' Any insights he might have to offer would be more than welcome.

He shook his head. 'I do not know.'

If flippancy were an option, she might have said something along the lines of well, that's helpful. But this was not the time or place for banter. There was too much hurt involved for that, on both sides. She thought that he maybe even envied her for a chance to do the very thing he had been denied. Of course, had he come face to face with Thráin, there was no telling if it would have ended in a giant row or not, but he craved the opportunity all the same. We always want what we can't have. And isn't that the story of my life?

'Neither do I.' The tension piled up, making her nauseous, as nerves always did. Breakfast would be out of the question now; she wouldn't be able to swallow it down. 'Couldn't he have just asked? Jacko, I mean. What the hell was he thinking, springing this on me?'

For once, Thorin was the most sensible of the two of them. 'He knew you would refuse.'

'He didn't want to give me the chance to run,' she corrected. 'Apparently it's what I am good at.'

She was not usually like this and she wasn't being fair on anyone, including herself, but she couldn't think straight. Bloody hell, when was the last time she had been so terrified she couldn't even think? Possibly a rough eight years ago. There had been times when she felt like that, her heart racing out of control, her stomach in knots of tension and hands shaking with… well, fear would be the word.

'You do not run,' Thorin told her and for a moment she was taken back, back on the quest and to many an argument with the stern leader she'd been forced to work with who, as she had come to know, had a way all his own to reassure the people around him.

'That doesn't mean that I don't want to,' Kate said. If she had been the same Kate as the Kate of ten years ago, she would have been out of town already. Now there were too many people keeping her here. 'But I can't let him anywhere near the kids. I don't really want him near you either if I'm honest.' The good parts of her life should stay separate from those parts she would pay good money to forget.

He understood. 'Do you want me to stay away?' It must have cost him tremendous effort to ask, to put her wishes before his own. Kate knew that he hated having to stand on the side-lines while she did all the hard work. It went against his very nature to let her struggle on her own. He'd fight my battles for me if I'd only let him.

'No,' she said. Maybe some part of her wanted him to keep out of it. Mahal help her, she would stay out of it if only she could. But she couldn't and she couldn't see a way through this on her own either. Time to start being brave, Andrews. You might as well admit it. 'I need you there.' There, she'd said it. Those words did not come easy to her, but she felt better for saying them. 'I can't do this alone.'

Sometimes it was just so nice to be married to someone who understood exactly what she was talking about, because he was wired the same way. Thorin would know how much effort it took to admit that this was one battle she was unable to fight all by herself. Good grief, how she hated having to ask for help.

He simply held her again and it was enough, to know that she had him watching her back. They both knew that he could not take on her father in her stead, but he would be there. It brought back the memory of what she had told her mother the previous night. He's there. He's always going to be. There was a quiet reassurance just in knowing that. She did not think she could ever have married anyone who would not always be there.

'Found them!' Thoren exclaimed, disturbing the moment. 'They're hugging,' he added to whoever it was he was making his report to. He was obviously slightly uncomfortable with that. 'Oh, and now they're kissing!'

So they were. Thorin pressed a quick kiss to her mouth and then another to her forehead, smiling. Sneaky little so-and-so. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Thorin was really not above gently provoking folk for the sake of his own amusement if he was in a good mood.

'All done now, sweetheart. You can open your eyes.' Kate chuckled in spite of herself when she noticed her eldest. He had made a show of turning his face towards the wall, holding his hands in front of his eyes. She turned back to her husband. 'Thank you,' she said softly.

He nodded. 'You can do this,' he told her. The conviction in his voice took her somewhat by surprise.

Kate arched an eyebrow as she lifted her son up. 'You seem certain.'

Thorin smirked. 'Aye, I am. For there are no rivers nearby for you to throw him in.' He gave her a pointed look. 'And your friend is not wrong; you do well in conflicts.'

To this she had to put up an argument for the sake of argument. 'Maybe,' she said. 'But I do not thrive on them.'

Thorin was wise enough not to point out that this was not entirely true.

Either way, he would not have had much time to do so, because Kate suddenly realised that there had been a spectator to the private moment she'd shared with her husband. Inquisitive green eyes from under a mop of curly grey hair had been watching their every move through the window. Kate could read the shock in those eyes and something else that she could not quite define. In anyone else she would have called it sadness, but this was John Andrews.

She all but froze. It was only remembering that her son was here that kept her grounded. 'Dearest, why don't you run back inside and find your brother? I'll be a while.' She did not want her children anywhere near that man.

Thoren hadn't noticed his grandfather. 'Not kissing?' he asked suspiciously.

Kate snorted. 'Not kissing,' she assured him. Punching would be more like it. Maker knew she wanted to. Either that or make a run for it. And a run was quite out of the question.

Thoren did as he was told. Kate and Thorin followed after him at a slightly slower pace. She had never been more grateful than when his hand found hers and held onto it. She was nowhere near ready for that and while Thorin's faith in her was comforting, it did not make her share his confidence. She, unlike Thorin, knew what that man was capable of. And she knew her own weaknesses well enough. Of course she didn't really think she would buy his pathetic excuses, but she had before. The fear was not all that unfounded.

The living room was feeling rather crowded when she came in. Her mother was there, her brother, her father and Laura. The first had Duria in her arms, while Kate's two boys had taken a keen interest in the contents of Laura's handbag.

You've handled recalcitrant elves, Andrews, you can handle your own father, Kate told herself. With that little pep talk fixed in her mind, she went forward. 'Laura, would you mind taking my boys outside for a bit?' she asked as calmly as she could. If World War Three were to happen, she would not have it happen where her children could see. 'And Duria too, please.'

Laura didn't ask. 'I'll warn the neighbours about disturbances, then, shall I?'

'You'd better,' Kate said. Hopefully it would not take very long.

'Kate, do you really think this is necessary?' Jacko complained. 'You're making such a thing out of this. It doesn't have to be.'

She fixed him with as stern a stare as she could muster. Fortunately, she had learned from the best. 'You keep quiet,' she told him. 'We will be having words about this later, don't go thinking we won't.' She'd had years to practise her best commanding tone and it was really quite something by now.

Jacko clearly was on the verge of saying something, but he didn't get the chance. John Andrews interrupted. 'So, it is real,' he observed. His eyes gave Thorin a quick onceover and then moved on to Kate. 'All the letters, they were all real.' There was a sense of wonder in his voice and a little disbelief.

Kate had no patience for it. 'Why are you here?' she demanded. Now she knew she had spent too much time with Thorin; she couldn't stand all this beating around the bush any more than he could.

He seemed taken aback, but it was only for a moment. 'Jacko called me,' he said. 'Telling me that you had returned. I had to see you.'

'It's not a mutual feeling.' Okay, she'd admit it: she could be argumentative if the mood struck her. And she wanted to be. She didn't want any reconciliation with this man. He'd had the opportunity for that and he had wasted it many times over. There was a point where she had drawn the line and it had been a point of no return. People did not come back from there.

'Things have changed, Katie,' he said, voice soft and pleading.

'Don't you bloody dare!' she snarled. 'Don't you dare call me that.' That endearment had not been used for many years and with good reason. 'I'm not your little Katie any longer.' She was a grown woman with three children of her own, for Durin's sake, and she could not allow her father to place her back in that place of vulnerability. She'd had to fight too hard to get out of it to let herself be coaxed back into it out of sheer bloody sentimentality.

He did a step back. Whether it was her outburst that had done it or the death glare she could feel radiating off Thorin remained to be seen. 'I didn't mean…'

Of course you didn't. Like you didn't mean to cheat on mum. Go and try to sell that story to someone more gullible than me. 'Don't lie to me,' she told me. 'I've met a lot of people who do that a lot more convincingly.' Like Thranduil, for instance.

'I was hoping we could reconcile,' her father said. 'That you would let me make amends for what I did. I know you don't believe me, but Jacko does. Please, Kate, I've changed, I promise.'

'I just want you to leave,' Kate told him bluntly. 'I don't want you near my family. I certainly never wanted you to read my letters.' Bloody hell, Jacko. What had he been thinking? 'I do not want or need your apologies. Maybe I would be interested if it actually changed something, but it's far too late for that. If Jacko has forgiven you for being an absolute bloody bastard, that's his business. I still think he's gone addle-brained, but that's his problem. I don't share the sentiment.'

'You won't even give me a chance?' He appeared to be in shock.

'You had chances enough back then,' Kate felt obliged to point out. 'You remember what you did with those? Good, so do I. Anything you say now is too little and too late. You weren't there when I needed you. What exactly makes you think that I would welcome you now?'

Jacko clearly had enough. Either that, or he was afraid John Andrews would have a stroke in the middle of the living room; his skin colour was a tiny bit off. 'Bloody hell, Kate, do you have to keep a grudge like that?'

She had an immediate and really good reply for that one. 'I'm married to a dwarf. Keeping grudges is what we're good at.'

Her father's gaze shifted back to Thorin. She could feel his tension where their hands touched. Thorin did not like this kind of scrutiny, especially not from the bigger folk of the world. He didn't like them looking at him like they had a right to judge him, which they didn't of course, but that had never stopped them. And this was hard for him.

'I can barely believe that.' John Andrews had started frowning. 'Middle Earth cannot be real.'

'Fine, believe what you like,' Kate said. 'After all, there are also people believing in the little green men from Mars. To each his own. I won't waste breath trying to convince you of the more sensible alternative.'

His eyes flickered with sudden anger. 'Then why is it so hard for you to believe that I care?' he asked. 'I spent time and money looking for you. Why do you think I did that?'

Well, shit. Kate really, really did not want to think about that. It was not that she wanted to hold on to her resentment beyond the point of reason, but she didn't want him to be this perfect father either, as though the past had never happened. It had and it had messed her up for so, so long. He did not get to waltz right back into her life and pretend that all was well. It hadn't been for a long time.

'Guilty conscience,' she said. She couldn't breathe and she needed out. This had been a mistake. She should have grabbed her family and made off as soon as she could while she still had the chance. 'But here I am, in one piece, so you can go back to your perfect little family and forget any of this ever happened. Pretend it was all a bad dream. That's how I usually cope.'

He took a step back as if she had physically hit him. 'That's not true, I lo…'

That was the sort of declaration she was not ready for. 'Save it,' she said loudly over the last bit of that sentence. She needed an out, now.

So she turned around and left the house.

No one followed her.

Thorin

Thorin did not quite know what to make of John Andrews when he first clapped eyes on the man. He was tall, for sure, but he had no muscle to speak of from what Thorin could see. Kate had inherited his curls, but little else. She certainly had not inherited the pleading and begging this man indulged in. Truth be told, he was a little at a loss as to why she was so afraid of so pathetic a creature.

But he knew Kate felt cornered. As such, it came as no surprise when she took off. If John Andrews had known her at all, he would have known she would; Kate did not do well when it came to speaking of emotions, or if indeed someone else spoke of their emotions. Hearing an I love you from a father she despised was not going to go over well.

And so he let her go. He would find her after. It was not from him that she ran.

No, she was running from the father who had hurt her. Thorin was hardly a stranger to abandonment and as events unfolded before him, he could not help but wonder how he would have responded if it was his own father standing there, begging for Thorin's forgiveness. True, he would have given less cutting replies, but his tongue had never been as sharp as his wife's. And much though he craved a reconciliation, if he was unexpectedly given the chance for one, he might not have taken it. After all, even long years after his father had passed away, he had still not forgiven him.

John Andrews made to go after his daughter, but Thorin was quicker than that. His hand shot out and grabbed the man around his wrist. 'She does not wish for your company,' he said. 'You will not follow her.'

The astonished look on his face was not exactly flattering. Then again, this man's opinion mattered not.

'Who do you think you are?' he snarled. He tried tugging his arm loose, to no avail. Dwarves were much stronger than men; he would not be able to go until Thorin allowed him to.

He ignored the question. 'Your daughter's husband,' he replied, foregoing making mention of his name and position. They meant nothing in this world. 'And I have only her best interest at heart.'

Kate's father did not have the same priorities and Thorin could only despise him for it. What father simply left his children, never to look back? He hadn't been able to understand that even before he himself had children. Now that he had, he could only feel even more confusion. He loved his children more than he could say. To leave them behind, he could not even imagine ever even considering it, especially not the way this man had chosen to do. He had a good family, but chose to desert them for the love of another woman. His own father's conduct he could justify to some extent. Grief was a terrible burden to bear and Thorin was more familiar with its sting than most. But he had carried the burden, he had never let it crush him. Then again, he was the grandson of Thrór and the son of Thráin and both had fallen prey to some kind of madness. Their blood was in his veins too. And he had come close to it once.

But you never succumbed to it, he reminded himself. And as long as he had Kate standing guard over his mind, he could rest assured in the knowledge that he never would. They never spoke of it, this power she wielded over his heart and mind, but they both knew that it was there. And maybe Gandalf had known of it too. There must have been a reason why Kate of all people had been chosen as the company advisor.

The disgust on John Andrews's face was absolute. 'Big words from a kidnapper,' he snarled.

'Have a care with your words,' Thorin cautioned. Kate's father had been given every last scrap of information about his daughter's disappearance, as Thorin understood it, so he ought to be in the possession of all the facts. His words were therefore at the very least misguided.

It struck him then how this man was the first to utter the accusation he had so dreaded, the accusation that he had taken Kate away from those who loved her. But this man did not love. Or if he did, he had a very poor way of showing it. And Thorin found that his accusation did not touch him in the light of these events.

John Andrews snorted. 'Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the police this instant and have you locked up for abduction.' His eyes narrowed. 'I might even manage to add sexual assault to the list of charges against you.'

Anger flared like a fire within Thorin. The mere notion that he had forced himself on Kate was offensive to him. It would have been offensive to every dwarf. They did not take what was not theirs to take. Thorin lived by that code. He tightened his grip on the man's arm and ignored the whimpering this caused. 'I never saw how she could harbour such disdain for you,' he said. 'But I now see. You seek to blame me for something that was not of my making. Bury your guilt under words all you wish, but it does not change that you have fallen short off the mark yourself.' It was not Thorin Oakenshield who had run. It was not Thorin Oakenshield who had left Kate when she had a need of him.

'Dad, back off.' To Thorin's surprise it was Jacko who intervened. 'He's telling the truth. He didn't kidnap Kate.'

John Andrews turned around as in so far he was capable of doing so with Thorin's hand still clenched around his forearm. 'You cannot believe that nonsense he's trying to sell you, can you, Jacko?' The disbelief was most dominant in his voice. 'You read your sister's letters. They cannot be real.'

'Why not?' Thorin demanded. 'Were they not in her hand?' He had never quite understood why Kate had always been so afraid that her tale would not be believed until he was confronted with the evidence. Now he understood, to some extent, why she had always worried.

'You know they were, but you…'

Thorin interrupted. 'Were those not the phrases and words Kate would use?' he went on.

John Andrews made another attempt at freedom and failed. 'They were, but…'

'Was she ever given to telling tales that were not true?' Thorin knew that she was not. She could tell stories with some skill, but she had never tried to pass them off as the truth. And she would never tell a lie to those she cared about. They meant too much to her.

'She was never, but…'

Again, Thorin stopped him from finishing. 'Did she ever do things that she did not want to do, even under duress?'

Kate caving in to pressure was so far a sight he had not witnessed. She was indomitable. It was a quality that Gandalf had chosen her for. Even if it had not been the wizard who had taken her from the street but a man of ill will – and the mere idea that such a person would get his hands on Thorin's wife set his teeth on edge – Kate would never have let herself be forced into writing letters she did not mean to write. And even if she did write, she would have found a way to sneak clues into the epistles. But Thorin had, without Kate's knowledge or consent, read them himself. There were no hidden messages. If this man's claim to knowing her was true, he would know the same.

There was no answer this time.

'I think you can release him now, Thorin.' Helen was calm and gentle, but also a woman who was not to be ignored.

He nodded in her direction and did as she asked. She must have known what she was doing, because John Andrews did not make a bolt for the door to go after Kate. Instead he took a step back.

'You say you're Thorin,' the man said.

'Aye.' He had never claimed to be anyone else.

'A character in a book.' The scorn was clear in his voice.

And Thorin objected to both tone and words. 'What witchcraft that is, I do not know. But it is one more foul and unpredictable than I have seen in all my days.' And he was in a better position to judge than most folk, having seen more of the world, having seen two different worlds. Not many people could say the same.

A noise of impatience came from somewhere beyond John. 'Look at him, dad,' Jacko said. 'Really, properly look at him. He would have to be a complete idiot to say who he was if he wasn't exactly that. Does he look like an idiot to you?'

Thorin always objected to being talked about instead of being talked with, but it seemed that Jacko had done him a favour in this case. John Andrews looked at him long and hard and Thorin returned the favour. The second impression of the man was not much better than the first had been. This man had no liking for him and Thorin had none for him.

'So now what?' John asked. 'We accept that your sister is married to an actual dwarf and that's it? You are just going to stand by and watch it happen?'

Jacko frowned, but he did not back down either. 'I am not letting Kate do anything,' he pointed out. 'If she wants something, she does it, no two ways about it. You should know that better than anyone. Besides, it has already happened. Kate's a grown woman with a will of her own.'

'Rather too much will of her own,' John muttered unhappily.

His son ignored that. 'She is married to someone she loves and she has three children with him. We might as well accept it.' Jacko looked past his father till his gaze settled on Thorin. 'I'm not exactly pleased, mind, but I think you're good for her. She certainly won't hear a bad word spoken about you and that means something, especially since this is Kate we're talking about and she's really good at seeing the worst in people.'

It was an apology without it actually being an apology. That Thorin was able to recognise this as such at all was in no small part thanks to being wedded to Kate for almost eight years. He nodded in acceptance.

'This is preposterous!' John exclaimed. 'You are actually going to let her disappear back to a fictional world? Has no one here had the wits to try and talk some sense into Kate?'

The suggestion that Kate was not in her right mind did not sit well with Thorin. 'You are mistaken indeed if you are of the belief that my wife does not know her own mind,' he said icily. By now the insults were piling up and suddenly it felt like it had been a good idea to leave Orcrist at home. Had he had any weapon to hand, he would have done Kate's father a harm by now. And the infuriating man would have undoubtedly deserved every wound Thorin inflicted on his body.

'You would say so,' John scoffed. 'You want to keep her for yourself. Heaven knows what made you decide that; she can't be very attractive to you, if all I've read about your sort is true.'

It stung just a little to know that John Andrews was not necessarily wrong. He had not been attracted to Kate physically when they had first met. She was too skinny, too hairless, too mannish. He did not believe Kate had thought him attractive. As a matter of fact, they had talked about that once. It was a conversation Thorin remembered very well.

It was really rather late, but sleep would not yet grace the King under the Mountain with its presence. His wife was likewise afflicted, but it did not bother them. Thorin felt pleasantly relaxed after making love to his wife. It had been a while since there hadn't been any urgent matters exhausting them or a fussy infant keeping them up all night. Kate had remarked that they had better seize the chance while it was there and Thorin had been unable to think of any reasonable objections. Truth be told, he had not tried very hard at all to search for them.

'Can't sleep either?' Kate asked, turning onto her side and propping herself up on an elbow. The faint light of the dying fire in the hearth shone on her face.

'I thought you said we had to seize the opportunity while it lasted,' Thorin pointed out. It was easier, teasing in situations like these. It was easier to talk too.

Kate showed a wicked grin. 'I seem to remember we did. More than once.'

It would probably never cease to amaze and embarrass him how she could talk of such matters with what felt like so little respect or so little reservation. Kate in turn would remind him that they were married for heaven's sake, so why couldn't use such language with him? It wasn't as if she was actually being really crude.

'So we did,' he agreed. After all, there was nothing he could say to deny it.

'Budge up,' Kate told him. 'My pillow won't stay put and your shoulder doesn't make for such a bad one, you know.'

He chuckled. 'So I am your pillow now, am I?'

'I suppose so.' Kate smiled at him. 'Firm, warm and doesn't fall off the bed. It's one of your better physical qualities.'

It set him to thinking. Kate had decided to lie down again, with her head on his shoulder, as she had said. But she wasn't sleeping; she was lying too still for that. Thorin wondered though. He knew that Kate loved him. There were no longer any doubts on that account, but he had wondered more than once what she had eventually found attractive about him. Of course she was never actually around or awake when the matter presented itself to him again, but this time she was.

'What other physical qualities do I possess then, would you say?' he asked.

Kate resumed her former position so that she could look at him. 'Are you asking me if I find you attractive?' She had always been able to read him very well and she had understood better than he could have hoped.

'I know you do,' he said. 'Else why would we be lying here as we are?'

Kate laughed. 'Touché.' Even after a couple of years in her presence he wasn't quite sure what the word meant, but he waited, knowing she would answer the question put to her. 'Well, I quite like your eyes,' she answered. It was testimony to just how at ease she was that she spoke the words in earnest instead of trying to get out of it by jesting. 'And your hair and, by extension, your beard. Though that one can tickle quite terribly against bare skin.'

'I haven't had complaints before,' Thorin said.

She aimed a playful hit at his chest. Thorin of course barely felt it. 'Oi, I would have complaints if that had been the case, because that would mean you've kissed, or worse, other girls and I assure you I would have a problem with that. Dwarves don't have the monopoly on jealousy, just so you know.'

He laughed with her for a few moments.

'Well,' Kate went on, pensive. 'I quite like your hands too. You know, you can be surprisingly gentle with those, but you also use them to craft incredibly beautiful things.'

Conversations where emotions were so out in the open were still relatively new to them, but Thorin found that he could very happily get used to them. It was another level of intimacy. The physical side of things had come relatively easy to them. It had always been the matters of the heart that had been the true challenge. But they were progressing. It was slow going at times, but they managed.

'It's just because you are you, you know.' Kate scratched her head in thought. 'Before I met you I had a thing for golden-haired fools who were taller than I was.' She grimaced. 'We both know how that worked out for me. You may not be the handsome prince on the white steed that I used to dream about, but how you look actually doesn't matter all that much, you know. You're you and that's enough. And, as it turns out, there's quite a few bits of you I'm very, very fond of.' She looked at him inquisitively. 'Though I do wonder what you saw in me. I mean, there are shorter men where I come from and beards are not all that unusual either, but you must have had some lovely vision with a beard and muscle and a bit more meat on her bones in mind once upon a time.'

If she meant that he had been raised with a different concept of beauty, then she was right. But Thorin had never had the time to so much as contemplate romance and marriage, so he had not wondered about such matters. His people and his kin had always been first and foremost on his mind. There had been room for little else. And he had not looked for it either when fate – and a wizard – threw this woman onto his path. And when he had met her, he had not thought much of her. Too frail to survive the wilderness, he'd thought, too young to be of any use, he'd assumed. He had been wrong, but it was easy to admit such things in the privacy of his own mind with the benefits of hindsight.

She had been honest with him, so he would be with her. 'Your hair,' he replied. He'd always found it one of her most recognisable features. It made her easy to locate in a crowd, but he also liked seeing that mane of red curls and it had secretly pleased him that their firstborn son had inherited his mother's hair.

She grinned. 'Really? This unruly mess? The one that can't stay put for longer than an hour and that repels brushes and combs all over the world?'

'Exactly that.' One strand of it was brushing over his chest and because it tickled, he gently brushed it back behind her ears. 'And there's your mouth. But only when it smiles,' he added. When she really, actually smiled it lit up her entire face. And really, if she'd had a beard, it would have been hard to see all of her mouth when she did smile. 'And likewise your eyes.' There were other things too. He liked to have her near, feel her against him. There was a quiet sense of peace in waking up at night and finding her curled up against him. He hadn't known there was such contentment to be found in the physical closeness of another person.

Thorin had not realised he had traced the scar across her face with his finger until she stilled his hand, looking at him in confusion. 'Now, I know that you're a bit odd, but you cannot possibly think that ugly thing attractive.'

Thorin knew that she was self-conscious of the scars she had. Kate was not a vain woman, but she hadn't hidden the fact that she thought they were disfigurements. Thorin understood her reasoning; men were squeamish about such matters. They did not look on scars as dwarves did. To Thorin Kate's scars were the reminder that she had fought for a good cause. There was no shame in that.

'You should not feel ashamed of them,' he said, struggling for a way to explain that she might understand. 'You took this one fighting against the goblins.' He moved his finger lower, to the scar in her neck. 'You fought off a robber.' She had told the tale that morning in Bag End and he had remembered it. After all, it had been the first indication that Kate was not as useless as she appeared.

Kate grimaced. 'Two robbers, actually,' she corrected. 'And I ended up in hospital for days because of the blood loss. I even had to have a blood transfusion. It was a bit awkward, all things considered.'

He did not know why she did that, belittling her achievements. But he would not stand for it and so he pretended he had not heard her, moving on to the faint marks on her left shoulder where a warg had scratched her when she had saved Ori. 'You saved Ori,' he said.

'I tripped down a rabbit hole,' Kate scoffed. 'Hardly the rescue mission of the century.'

He continued to ignore her, moving on to the burn and the white line next to it. 'You fought an orc and lived.'

'As memory serves, you were the one to finish it off.' Kate had begun to frown. 'Thorin, what are you…?'

He did not let her finish. His hand went further down still, brushing over the scar she had on her thigh. 'This one you received defending Erebor,' he told her. He had feared for her, but she had been magnificent in her own way. She had defended his homeland without as much as a second thought.

Kate's frown deepened. 'Yes, I know. I haven't gone forgetful all of a sudden. What's your point?'

It was hard to translate the thought into the spoken word, because it was hard to define what he felt and what he meant. It was something he just knew, that he did not spend time pondering. 'They tell the tale of great deeds you did.' It was not an adequate description, but it was as close as he was able to come. He loved her because of what she had done, the risks she had taken and the words she had spoken. And there was no scar on her body to commemorate that it had been her timely warning that had saved his mind, but he needed no such reminder. He would always know and he that would be enough.

Of course, John Andrews was unburdened by this knowledge and Thorin would sooner cut out his own tongue than share this with someone so unworthy.

'It is not your business,' he said icily. 'You have lost the right to such knowledge when you turned your back on Kate and abandoned her, as no father should ever do.' These words had been long in coming, but it was not this man that they had been intended for. And yet, they needed to be spoken. 'You have no right to pry into her life, into her affairs. You have no right to judge her for her actions when your own cannot be justified in any way.' He fixed Kate's father with the iciest stare he could muster. 'You will leave her be unless she tells you otherwise.' He finished with one of Kate's own favourites. 'But I would not hold my breath for that, should I be in your shoes.'

With that he turned and left the room in search of his wife.

No one followed him out.

Kate

This was not how Kate had imagined her first day back. Of course, she hadn't had any actual realistic expectations, but Jacko running off to bring back their father had not entered her list even at the very bottom. She had fully expected never to see the man again. Truthfully, that was how she wanted it.

'That was quick,' Laura remarked when Kate joined her and the children in the back yard. Her friend had introduced her lads to the many pleasures of football and the boys did not even notice her. 'Should I ring the police to call in a murder?'

'Not quite yet,' Kate said. She sat down on the garden bench. 'Though I am not making promises. Thorin still might do something rash; he's been trying to glare my father to death since he met him.'

Laura sat down next to her. 'Kate, if I'd known what your brother was up to, I'd have hit him over the head myself, I swear.'

Kate rubbed her temples. 'No need to swear to it. I believe you anyway.'

Her friend's chuckle made her look up. 'Blimey, Kate, it's just an expression. You're not in Middle Earth right now.'

Huh. That was odd. Of course she knew that it was just something people said. But she hadn't heard anyone do it in so long that she had… well, not forgotten about it exactly, but it had not been at the forefront of her mind either. 'I've gone native,' she realised. 'And I never even thought on it.'

'Not that native, don't you worry,' Laura said. 'I distinctly remember this Queen under the Mountain making a Doctor Who reference only just an hour ago.' She grimaced. 'Honestly, Kate, you're still going on about that?'

'Of course I am. You know what, I think I should try to get my hands on the series that aired after I disappeared. I suppose I've got some catching up to do.' Wouldn't that be a treat, sitting on the sofa in front of the telly with a cup of steaming hot tea in her hands? She remembered doing that before Gandalf abducted her, but it was only a distant memory now, almost a dream.

Laura nudged her. 'You're obsessed, you are.'

'Oh, I am sorry, Miss Potterhead, I didn't quite catch that,' Kate retorted. 'That makes me wonder, is your future husband just as big a fan as you are? If not, has anyone seen fit to at least warn him before you tie the knot?' Oh, this was heaven on earth as far as Kate was concerned. Talking with Laura had always been so easy. Moreover, Laura had a way to make Kate forget about her troubles for a while.

'You're hilarious, you are,' Laura said, mock-glaring at her. 'Yes, he knows. And after the initial shock he confessed to me his undying love for all things Tolkien.' She fixed Kate with a stern glare. 'Imagine his joy when he found out about you. You'll probably meet him and you'll have a lot to talk about, but please, keep it to a level that everyone can understand you.'

Kate laughed. The universe had a wonderful sense of humour sometimes. 'I'd love to meet him. Besides, no matter how much of a nerd he is, I'll probably know better. I'm the local resident after all.'

Laura smirked. 'I wouldn't be so sure about that. He's got a thing about elves. Knows their history inside out.'

Kate groaned. Of course that would be her luck. 'Just keep him away from Thorin. And I reserve the right to punch him if he's getting all poetic about the pointy-ears. On that note, what's his name? Do I know him?'

'Don't think so. George Carlyle. He's an accountant.'

Kate pretended to be shocked. 'An accountant? Why, Laura, that's so respectable!' she teased. 'I always thought you'd elope with a hippie or something of the sort.'

'This coming from the woman who eloped with the King under the Mountain,' Laura shot back.

'Oh, we didn't elope,' Kate corrected. 'We got married. Properly married, mind you. A couple of weeks after the battle. But I get your point,' she added quickly. She knew her friend well enough to endlessly press the matter if she didn't. 'Dori would've had a fit otherwise.' And they had both needed it, the solid foundation. It was what they built their lives on. And here they were, eight years on, and they were thriving. Given her own parents' marriage from hell, Kate felt proud of that achievement.

Of course, her relief couldn't have lasted forever and now the matter of her father was firmly back on her mind. And a solution did not appear to be any closer. She still didn't have a clue what to do. It had gone worse than she had expected. Maker have mercy, had he really declared that he still cared? It had hit home, had hit home hard. And then there were Thorin's words, urging her to use the chance she was given, the chance that had been denied to him. And she understood, she really did. But heaven knew she did not want a reconciliation and now he was making her look the resentful bitch for not wanting to have anything to do with him when he was being so apologetic. Ugh, it was elf politics all over again. If she didn't know any better, she would have said he'd trained under Thranduil.

The worst part of it all was that she strongly suspected that he was actually sincere. Kate liked that even less.

Laura must have felt her mood shift. 'So, how did it go in there?' she asked.

'Try bad,' Kate replied. 'Then multiply by ten and you're about there. It seems like he actually means it when he says he's sorry. And I'm not feeling very forgiving yet.' With Laura, nothing but the truth would do.

'Well, why should you?' her friend asked. 'I know Jacko's going on and on about how he made amends for all that he did, but I've always thought that it was too late for that anyways.' She caught Kate's astonished look and added: 'What? You thought I was going to plead with you for giving him a second chance?'

Kate laughed. 'Not exactly. I just thought you wouldn't be so blunt about it. What with you being all mature and respectable these days.'

'Doesn't mean I have to like the bastard.' Laura shrugged. 'I've always thought he's a weasel, and as slippery as an eel. He'll talk his way out of anything and I thought Jacko would have known better than to fall for those pathetic speeches. Then again, any port in a storm, eh? And at least your dad had the money to pay a private detective.'

'I've always thought he would get on tremendously well with Thranduil,' Kate said. 'And I don't think Jacko just fell for a few pretty words, you know. I think the bastard actually means what he says. He seems sincere enough. He even claimed that he loves me, whatever the hell he means by that. I am not even sure if he really understands the meaning of the word, but in his limited capacity, I think he means what he said, so…'

'Could be an act,' Laura pointed out.

'I've met enough insincere people to know the difference by now.' Fancy that, there was an upside to dealing with elves after all. 'And he was genuine. Which of course makes the whole thing that much more complicated, because now it is me looking bad for not wanting to leave the past in the past.'

'Well, if that is how he is trying to make you feel, then he's an arse.' Laura would have made a good dwarf, Kate pondered. She had the necessary bluntness at any rate. 'And if he really does love you, like he claims, then he will understand that you need some time. If he doesn't, you should drag him out of the house by his hair and never spend a thought on the man again. From the look of him, Thorin would be happy to oblige if you asked him to help you with that.'

'You think it is really that simple, do you?' Kate asked.

'I think you're complicating things,' Laura retorted. 'You're really very good at that. Believe me, I remember that. You don't want your dad here, because he is all kinds of unpleasant and he messed you up, kick him out. You don't owe him anything and you shouldn't think you do. He chose to leave and this is the consequence. Tough luck, but just dessert as far as I'm concerned.'

Kate was about to respond to that with a thank you that she meant from the bottom of her heart, but stopped when she saw her husband approaching. And she knew that face. Thorin could do pissed off just as well as anyone, probably even better than most, and he was very much unamused now. Whatever it was that had gone on inside the house, it was probably a miracle it was still standing.

He saw them, nodded and moved over to them.

Laura, who did not know how to deal with Thorin in a foul mood, asked sunnily: 'Do you need any help burying the body?'

As expected, the expression was unfamiliar to Thorin and therefore not well received. 'There has been no murder in this house,' he told Laura icily. He was probably offended that she thought him capable of such a thing.

'It's an expression, just something people say.' Kate was quick to step in. 'And Laura here likes to put her foot in it. Often.'

Thorin merely nodded. Kate could see the tension in the set of his shoulders. Whatever had gone on inside, it had not gone well. No surprise there, really. It had been as predictable as rain on a Sunday that Thorin and her father were not going to get on. Thorin hated the kind of running away her father had done and he would have said something about him; by now Kate knew him well enough to know that he would not have stood idly by when she was hurt. Watching from the side-lines had never been his style. Heaven forbid he'll let me fight my own battles once in a while.

'He still in there?' she asked.

Thorin nodded again. 'I do not think he will leave.'

Kate moaned. 'I just want him gone. Is that really so much to ask?'

She was aware that it was not what was expected of her. The decent thing would be to give him another chance. If this was a movie or, perish the thought, a fanfic – because really, Laura, really? – that was what the main character would do. But I am not a Mary-Sue and I never tried to pass myself off as a saint either, so screw them.

She didn't feel like doing the decent thing. Every time she did tell herself that maybe she ought to be a bit less hot-headed about this whole thing she could not help but remember the endless fighting and the lies. She remembered how he had never bothered to initiate contact after the divorce. Only when it turned out that she was missing had he started paying attention. So maybe he was genuine. Maybe his efforts weren't all due to a guilty conscience, but to Kate it didn't matter. Some wounds went too deep. She couldn't stand to be around that man.

Laura grinned. 'I'll take his legs and then Thorin can take his arms and we'll just toss him out for you,' she suggested.

If that look in Thorin's eyes was anything to go by, he was not in the least objecting to such a course of action. I wonder what was said that he's changed his tune so much?

'Careful, I might hold you to it,' she warned.

'Oh, I was being entirely serious.' There was no jest in her friend's eyes. 'I've been waiting to give that man a good hard kick in the balls for ages.'

Kate's jaw dropped. 'Laura!'

Her friend only shrugged. 'It's true. That bastard has put you through years of hell and I've been there to pick up the pieces. I owe him some form of payback. And we both know you're not tall enough to reach high enough.'

She knew she probably should not ask. She did it anyway. 'High enough for what?'

'To punch him in the face and break his nose.' It would have been funny if Laura had been joking, except Kate was reasonably certain she was not. Laura did not do serious as a rule, but she had been known to make exceptions.

'Well, that's nice,' she said. 'But if anyone's going to be throwing punches, it'll be me. And thanks to Dori I know how to reach his head if I need to.' She turned to Thorin and grinned at the memory. 'The Galas treatment.'

And Thorin, who had been doing a great job of being his taciturn self, actually cracked a smile.

And that was good. She wanted that. She wanted the good things. So maybe she wasn't going to do this fanfiction perfect. And her life had never been much of a novel or fairy-tale either. She did not always need to do the right thing, nor did she want to. Kate only wanted her father gone.

'I'm going to kick him out,' she announced.

Just like that, she knew she would. Laura was right, she realised. Whatever it was that John Andrews had done, for Kate it had come too late. And she knew herself well enough that moving past that, really, genuinely moving past that was not in her nature. She might forgive him in words because that was what expected of her, but she would never feel like it. And that would be the kind of two-faced lying that Kate generally associated with the elves. And she was no elf.

'Need back-up?' Laura was instantly enthusiastic about that plan. Then again, she had been trying to tell Kate to give up on the man since she was fourteen.

'I might.' She looked at Thorin. 'I cannot give that man a second chance,' she said, switching to Khuzdul to have a measure of privacy. And these words were not meant for any ears but his. 'I can't just leave the past in the past. He's gone too far, done too much. I can't.' At some level that must hurt him, seeing her pass up the opportunity he would give his sword arm for. And she hated doing that to him, but some obstacles were too high to be overcome.

To her surprise, the response she feared never came. Instead he nodded, expression solemn, but there was no disappointment in his eyes. 'It is right,' he said and she could tell that he understood, even though he did not say so in so many words.

Laura blinked at them. 'You know, if that was how you two were on your legendary quest, I see why everyone thought what they did about you.' When Kate looked at her in a silent request to elaborate, she added: 'You are really rather intense. And you don't even seem to notice.' She nodded. 'Well, congratulations to you, Thorin. I hope you appreciate how rare it is for Kate to pay that much attention to anyone.'

Best friend or not, Kate was not opposed to hitting her. 'Be nice.'

Laura smirked. 'I'm warming up for when we kick your sorry excuse of a father out of the house.'

That brought her mind back to the matter at hand. 'Let's get it over with.'

She rose to her feet. She really didn't feel ready to go back in there, but the worst of the anxiety had subsided. Talking to Laura helped, but knowing that she had Thorin's full support helped even more. She realised just how much she had come to rely on him to be there, to be that solid foundation that she built her life on. Of course, they still fought sometimes, because they were both headstrong fools who didn't believe in the displays of emotions. She'd lost count of the number of arguments and misunderstandings they'd had. But there was always that quiet certainty of knowing that they would not fall apart again, not like they had done before the Battle of the Five Armies. She had been right then; they needed that one certainty, their marriage, to fall back on. When they didn't always feel it, it helped to know it.

'Thank you,' she whispered.

Of course Thorin would not say in words something like you're welcome or any time, but she knew it from the encouraging nod he gave her and the fact that he was right there next to her when she re-entered the house. I wonder if we'll ever get to the point that we won't feel awkward saying stuff like that, she thought. She wanted that, wanted all the barriers between them coming down once and for all, but she also was aware that such a thing might never be more than a wish. That's life, Andrews. You don't do fairy-tales anyway. So get a bloody grip and get a move on.

Her father was still in the room, looking like he had been punched in the gut a couple of times. She knew Thorin hadn't really touched him; if he had, there would be an ambulance in front of the door right now. He was however nursing a bruise that went all around his forearm. So that's why he didn't follow me out.

He rose to his feet when he saw her come in. 'Kate, I am so sorry…'

She did not let him finish. 'I want you to go,' she said. 'I meant what I said. It's too little and too late and nothing you say is going to make what you did then go away. I can't see past it and I am not sure I even want to try to.' She saw that he was about to argue and cut it short. 'No, don't bother. And I am not punishing you. I just don't want you here. Jacko was the one who invited you, not me. Just go.'

Kate felt too tired, too drained for shouting and it wasn't even noon yet.

Her father looked as if she had stabbed him in the heart and even though her mind was made up, it made her experience that guilt all over again. 'Why won't you let me try?' he begged. 'I know I have made horrible mistakes, but please…'

She shook her head and he fell silent. 'Remember when I pleaded and begged? Remember what you did then? There is nothing, not even a wizard, that is ever going to be able to make me forget that.' You reap what you sow. And this harvest had been long in coming. 'There is nothing more I have to say to you. Just go and leave me be. If I do change my mind in the next six weeks, I'll let you know. But don't go counting on it.'

She made to turn and then made a spur of the moment decision. 'Farewell,' she said, bearing in mind what Thorin had said about a chance to say goodbye at the very least. It made this story less of an open ending. It was done now, finished, and this time it had been on her terms. So this time when she did turn around and left the house, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders.

Only Thorin followed her out.

This may not be how you expected this chapter to turn out, but given Kate's character I didn't feel it likely she would have responded any other way. This leads me to address a point about her character that not everyone seems to understand, especially in the light of a guest review left on The Journal only yesterday, that Kate is quite bitchy and they cannot see how anyone could like her. Well, yes, Kate is quite abrasive and she certainly does not always play nice. Then again, Thorin is frequently snappy and unpleasant as well and somehow no one ever seems to criticise him for it, which is fairly strange, come to think about it. But I feel that's how real people are as well, and Kate on the whole is a pretty decent sort of person, but she has bad days and she has a lot of heavy emotional luggage, which shapes her character. So, I couldn't really see her acting any other way, so no fairy-tale ending to that part of the story, I'm afraid.

So far my defence of Kate. In other news, from here on I'm also going to do some other one-shots again, but there will be more one-shots of Thorin and Kate visiting England. But I've addressed the most important points now and there are some other things that I also really want to do. As always, suggestions – for both this AU and the normal Duly Noted stuff – are welcome.

Apologies for the long note. Thank you for reading. Reviews would be most welcome.