The Book and real life are giving me grief at the moment, so there will be some more Duly Noted for a time.

Enjoy!

Chapter 22

Connecting

1. to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind:

2. to establish communication between; put in communication:

3. to have as an accompanying or associated feature:

4. to cause to be associated, as in a personal or business relationship:

5. to associate mentally or emotionally:

6. to link to an electrical or communications system; hook up:

Dictionary . com

Kate

'Right, we'll be gone for most of the day.' Kate sent a scrutinising look to her husband and her brother. 'Try not to burn down the house while we're gone.'

The two self-proclaimed responsible adults in question were doing their best to convey with their facial expressions that they did not have a clue what she was talking about. But Kate hadn't quite forgotten the Great Babysitting Disaster of 2946 and Jacko was wearing a too innocent look that betrayed he too had some history in the babysitting department that had been less than commendable.

Why did I let Laura talk me into this again?

'We know not to play with fire, Kate.' Jacko seemed more than a little annoyed. His scowl would have been slightly more impressive if he hadn't had a baby girl in his arms who had taken a keen interest in drooling on his shirt.

'You'll know when you return how it all turned out,' Laura said sunnily.

Kate held up her hands in defeat. 'At least there aren't any trade agreements lying around.' She bid goodbye to Thorin with a quick kiss and hugged both her boys. Duria received a kiss to the forehead and then she was out the door before she could think up any more disaster scenarios that would prevent her from leaving.

Two adults against five little children. What can possibly go wrong? Kate knew the answer from bitter experience: a lot. And it had taken a lot of diplomacy to appease the vexed men of the Lake. Of course there was no danger of diplomatic disaster here, but that didn't mean there wasn't a very real possibility of something going wrong. Her own boys were quite creative troublemakers and from what she had seen of Jacko's son Archie so far she had concluded he was not much different. Well, at least Duria and Susan were too small to cause any real trouble. That was one less thing to worry over.

'What you said about trade agreements, what was that about?' Jane asked curiously as they walked down the path towards the car. Jacko's wife had taken to the whole idea of Kate's temporary return a whole lot sooner than her husband. Jacko after three days still wasn't quite out of the pouting zone, but Jane had made no secret of her delight when she saw Kate again.

'Yes, I was wondering as well,' Laura chimed in. 'Come on, Kate, spill.'

Again, Kate questioned the wisdom of going on an all-female day out. The idea had been Laura's. She insisted that Kate should have a proper dress for the wedding, seeing as how she would be bridesmaid. When Kate after some mild protest had given in she had been under the impression that it would just be her and Laura, but then Jane had arrived and she had announced she was coming too and then of course Anna had been invited along as well. And with Kate's mother away for the day with one of her own friends, that left the babysitting in the "capable" hands of Thorin and Jacko.

'Three years ago, Thora and Dís took me out for the day,' she narrated. 'Thorin wasn't terribly busy, so he said he'd watch the lads for me. But when I came home, he looked like he had been outside in an autumn storm, Thráin was sleeping on the very edge of the dining table and Thoren was pouring an inkwell out over the recently signed trade agreement with Esgaroth. Needless to say, the men of the Lake were not pleased.' She smiled at the memory. Hindsight made her look at it kinder. 'And you wouldn't believe the state of the living room. I'm still not entirely certain of the origin of the stain on the rug.'

'Well, we'll see when we get back, won't we?' Anna asked cheerfully. 'But let me tell you: I am glad my mum was available for watching Danny, because I wouldn't trust Seth with it either.'

'You're filling me with confidence,' Kate remarked wryly.

'I meant to,' Anna pointed out. 'So, this is what you've got to look forward to, Laura, if you ever want kids of your own.'

'Learn from our bitter experiences and never ever let your husband alone with small children for any length of time,' Kate clarified. 'Not if he's as hopeless at it as mine, anyway.' Thorin was one of the best souls she had ever met, but multi-tasking was not a talent of his. And Kate had learned very quickly that having children required having eyes in the back of one's head, an extra pair of hands and the ability to predict every possible mischief little children could get up to hours in advance.

'I'll bear that in mind.' Laura grinned and tossed Kate the car keys, which she only caught in a reflex just before they hit her square in the face. 'Want to drive?'

She looked up in surprise. 'You sure?'

'I can drive for ages if I want. You only got a couple of weeks and I seem to remember that you always liked it. And I believe my car will be safe in your hands.'

'That's quite the vote of confidence,' Kate observed. 'But if you don't mind, then yes, I wouldn't mind.'

It was only when they were already in the car that Anna explained the ulterior motive behind this unexpected offer. 'Besides, when you've got to keep your hands on the wheel, you can't hit any of us,' she said.

Kate frowned warily. 'Why would I want to?'

'Well, we've got to discuss the kind of dress you want,' Jane explained. 'And if my memory is correct, then you never liked that kind of girly talk.' Judging by that look, she had been in on this whole scheme.

Well, it was clever. Jane was right; Kate didn't like dresses in general – of course in Erebor she had little choice – but she liked endlessly talking about clothes even less. So her friends had devised a situation from which she could not run. Clever indeed.

'You are elves, the lot of you,' she declared, starting the engine.

Anna laughed. 'You know, most people would take that as a compliment.' Bugger, that was right. She wasn't home anymore, where being called an elf was definitely an insult. In this world the general consensus was that elves were beautiful and kind and wise. Mostly that was true. The Mirkwood elves, who happened to be the elves that lived nearest, were the exception to the rule.

'Most people haven't had to deal with Thranduil and his kin.' No elves for her for a whole blessed period of six weeks. On the other hand there was girly fashion talk. Any hope that they had outgrown that had evaporated the moment Anna opened her mouth. 'Believe you me, you won't find a more annoying individual in the entire world.' Ranting about the elven king she could do, in detail and at length.

Unfortunately her friends recognised her attempt at evasion instantly. 'Kate, dress, what kind?' Laura demanded.

And maybe she should think about it. If not, Thorin might suffer a heart attack. He had already been extremely unpleasantly surprised when he noticed Jane's knee-length skirt and top without sleeves. Balancing Earth fashion and Middle Earth decency was going to be tough.

'Not too short,' she decreed. 'Knee-length or longer. And it's got to have sleeves.'

Anna frowned. 'It's the middle of the summer, Kate. And surely Thorin isn't so rigid that he'd forbid you from dressing a bit more like you used to?'

'Thorin is not forbidding me anything,' she snapped. Of course, by their standards he was old-fashioned. He had grown up with different values, different ideas of what was and wasn't appropriate. And Kate knew he didn't like it when other men looked at her like they had a right to. But that didn't have anything to do with this. 'The sleeves are my condition, not his.'

She would have said Thorin hadn't made conditions at all, because he trusted her. He wouldn't necessarily like it, but ultimately he trusted her. He'd even said as much this morning.

Jane looked surprised; Kate could see her face in the rear-view mirror. 'Why? You weren't opposed to bare arms before.'

'That was before my left arm got scarred.' She didn't like to explain it. 'We were attacked in Mirkwood. I got into a fight with an orc, who slashed open my left arm. Then a burning branch fell on it. The scars have never entirely gone away and I don't like people looking. I certainly don't want to explain it.' It was bad enough that she could never hide the scar on her face. Make-up could hide a little, but it remained visible. And she still hadn't thought up a good enough cover story to give to the people that she couldn't tell the truth. 'So, the sleeves have to stay.' It was making her edgy, having to talk about it.

'Or we can find a nice dress and find a little cardigan thingy to cover your arm,' Laura said. She had been nodding in understanding as Kate gave the summary of the Mirkwood fiasco, because she knew it from the letters. Clearly Jane and Anna never read them. They had looked like it was news to them. 'That ought to do it. And if it's just your typical English summer day, no one will think anything of it.'

Kate nodded. 'You're probably right.' She sighed. 'While you're at it, you wouldn't have a good explanation for my face, would you?'

Laura shrugged. 'That was a goblin's whip, right?'

Kate would have confirmed that, but Anna interrupted. 'You were whipped across the face? By goblins?' She shook her head. 'I can't seem to comprehend how absurd your life has become, Kate.'

'Join the club.' There were still days when she would wake up and be stunned to remember that she was married to Thorin Oakenshield and that she was his queen. Some days it took her looking at him, feeling him near to be reminded that it was real, that she hadn't dreamt it up. 'It happened in Goblin-town. We didn't move quickly enough for their taste, so they came at us with whips. I didn't even get the worst of it.' There was something almost disturbing about discussing life in Middle Earth with friends who had never been there. It was like the walls between the two worlds had come down just a little. And it was strange and oddly disconcerting.

Anna got over the strangeness of it fairly quickly. 'How about some scars from the legendary fight with the dragon?' she asked. 'Like in the movie?'

'I haven't seen the movie,' Kate pointed out. 'But it's probably wrong. The short version is that Bilbo kept it talking, then Thorin stabbed it in an unprotected patch in its foot, allowing Kíli the right angle to shoot it in the eye. And that was the end of Smaug. And let me tell you, it's one hell of a job to drag that corpse from the treasury all the way to the front gate.' She smirked. 'But I bet that probably didn't happen in the movie.'

Jane's jaw had dropped and Anna was doing an unflattering fish on dry land imitation. The latter was also the first one to recover the gift of speech. 'Not exactly. But I like your version better anyway. Sounds heroic.'

'I suppose it would have worked well in a movie,' Kate allowed. 'But the reality of it was bloody terrifying.' She could still remember it all too well. She didn't even remember Smaug's death throes all that clearly, but she could still recall with perfect clarity what his voice had sounded like, how it had echoed across the room, how she could feel it in her very bones and how dangerous he had sounded.

But her friends didn't know that. They hadn't gone through it with her. To them it was all just a story. They could not even begin to imagine what it had been like and it made her feel oddly lonely. She had wanted to see them again for years and now that she was with them again, she found that she no longer fit in neatly. They didn't understand one another like they used to.

And it hurt. She had feared that it would be like this, back when she was weighing the pros and cons of staying in Middle Earth. Being completely out of touch with her own world was one of the things she had dreaded the most and now here she was. She both felt at home and completely out of her depth at the same time. She'd changed too much to ever fit in here again and she hadn't changed enough to ever entirely belong in Erebor. So there I am, forever caught between two worlds, belonging in neither. Even when Gandalf had abducted her, she hadn't felt so uprooted.

'You all right?' Laura asked from the passenger seat. 'Only you look like you're on the verge of crying.'

'Fine,' Kate said, furious with herself for letting her emotions show so plainly. 'Really.' She focused on the road ahead and it was a welcome distraction. She wasn't as bad at city driving as her brother, but she didn't exactly like it either. Give her the open road any time.

'We're making you uncomfortable.' Anna had always been intuitive. She could read people like a book and Kate had never been an exception. 'Because of the movie talk?'

Kate shrugged, deciding on honesty. 'Partly, yes,' she admitted. 'I just realised that I do not fit in as perfectly as I used to. And I'm not sure how I feel about it.'

She couldn't say that their conversation seemed shallow to her. It would offend them and they certainly wouldn't understand. But Kate's interests in the trivial matters had gone years ago and she found she had very little patience for it now. And the trivial matters that did interest her were so vastly different from her friends' that she couldn't seem to find similarities rather than differences. I've become an alien in my own bloody country.

'Well, we won't know what we're doing wrong if you won't talk about it,' Jane said sensibly.

Kate struggled for a way to explain it. 'That's just it,' she said. 'You're not doing anything wrong. You're not doing anything different from how it used to be. It's me that's changed too much to just slip back into my old spot again. That's what's bothering me.'

Sort of anyway. But either way, they weren't at fault. They just didn't know any different. They had never spent sleepless nights listening for indications of danger in the darkness, they had never sat at home waiting till a loved one came home from battle, they had never picked up a weapon in their lives. If Gandalf hadn't interfered, Kate wouldn't have known any better either, but Gandalf had done what he felt he had to and now, she couldn't identify with those who were once closest to her anymore.

'We know,' Anna said. 'But…' She thought for a moment for a way to express herself best, as she used to do. 'We haven't experienced what you've been through, but if you keep bottling it all up, we're never going to anyway. So talk. I know, it doesn't come natural to you, but you can make an effort and we want to hear about you and your life. We're your friends, remember? Just because you've been out of the country for the past eight years, that doesn't mean anything has actually changed.'

Surprisingly, Kate found that Anna was at least half-right. Some things hadn't changed and Anna had been absolutely right when she saw through Kate's words and pierced the heart of the matter. She found she could actually summon up a real smile.

'That's more like it,' Laura said. 'Now we go and find you a dress and some other much-needed things and then we'll talk. A lot.'

Kate found she didn't dread it quite so much anymore.

Thorin

There was a bit of silence after the women had left the house, though Thorin knew it was unlikely to last long; any moment now his sons would stir up some form of trouble that, if unchecked, would soon spiral out of control. He couldn't speak for Jacko's son Archie, but he too had the look of a troublemaker about him. Unsurprisingly, he had become fast friends with Thoren and Thráin within minutes of meeting them.

'You kids up for a game of football in the back yard?' Jacko asked. Thank the Maker that at least the weather was fine. He looked at Thorin over the heads of the younglings. 'At least I am reasonably certain there are no breakable objects in the immediate vicinity.'

This took Thorin by surprise. As far as he was aware, Kate's brother merely tolerated his presence because he had to. He certainly didn't wish for his company and likewise Thorin felt uneasy in his.

He nodded. 'Very well. What shall we do with the girls?'

Jacko cast a look at Duria. 'Well, yours looks like she won't get in trouble on her own and she seems to enjoy playing by herself.' Fortunately that was the truth. Duria could enjoy her own company, which was in sharp contrast with her brothers, who had always wanted to be entertained. 'And mine is out for the count for a while. At least I hope so; she's kept me awake most of the night.'

Jacko and his family had taken up residence in what they called a bed and breakfast nearby, which meant that Thorin had not been witness to crying of an infant all night. But he remembered what it was like all the same. Thoren and Thráin hadn't been good sleepers and Thorin had lost count of the number of nights he or Kate had been up for hours and hours when one of their sons had decided that sleep was for other people and not for them. And it was the one part of being a parent where he'd been better at than Kate. Soothing a fussy baby back to sleep somehow came easy to him. Kate had once told him it was because he sang them lullabies and that there was something about being in his arms that made a body feel safe. He did not know if she was right.

'I see,' he said. If it had been one of his kin who had talked of this problem, he would have counselled them to sing to their children. But Jacko, though his brother by marriage, was no trusted friend of his and Thorin was reluctant to share more of his life than he had to. 'I am not familiar with the game,' he admitted and that was as much vulnerability as he planned on showing.

'It's easy,' Jacko said as they followed the lads out into the garden. It mainly consisted of grass, which made it an ideal children's playground. 'It's just kicking a ball around and trying to score. Of course, there's more to it, but let's not bother the kids with the more complicated rules just yet.' Thorin sincerely hoped he hadn't correctly read that last sentence as him being one of the children, given that he had never heard of the game before.

'Kate made no mention of this game,' he observed. And she had brought over a lot of games with her from her world in order to keep the lads entertained.

Jacko laughed. 'Kate hates this game. It's always annoyed her how such an "inane" game could be so popular. She never saw the sense in grown men running around after a ball only to kick it away again once they finally had it.'

Truth be told, from that description Thorin couldn't see any sense in it either. 'Is there?' he asked.

'Is there what?' Kate's brother appeared confused.

'Sense, in the game?' Thorin clarified.

'Far as I can tell, not a bit.' He appeared wholly undisturbed by that. 'But it's a lot of fun.'

That was still a new concept for Thorin, doing something just for the purposes of one's own entertainment. Such behaviour was to be expected of children, but not of those who called themselves adults. There were too many responsibilities, too many duties. Everything had to have a purpose, although Dís had pointed out to him quite recently that this line of thinking was more of his own making and not shared by the majority of the population. Of course, dwarves despised idleness, but there was no harm in unwinding after a good day of work with song and dance and storytelling and whatever else it was that took their fancy.

The cause of this conversation was an evening with Kate and his lads. She had gotten one of her friends to make them a stack of cards with pictures, that came in pairs and that were laid on the table upside down in a random order. It was up to the players to find the matching sets. It seemed like a good way to train the lads in remembering things, but then Kate had invited him to join them. And he'd asked why. 'Because it's fun,' she'd said. 'And because it's good to do stuff as a family.' Then she'd grinned. 'And because I used to be really good at this once upon a time.' They'd had a few trying days and this had been the first time she appeared to be at rest, so he hadn't refused. They'd split up in teams, Thorin and his eldest against Kate and Thráin. And after the lads had been put to bed they'd played just the two of them and it had been remarkably enjoyable. Also he'd only felt that he might have spent his time on reading through documents.

But there were no documents here and perhaps he ought to take his sister's advice to heart more often.

'Very well,' he said.

It turned out that Thoren and Thráin had already spent considerable time learning the rules of the game. Thráin especially had a quick eye and a good sense of knowing where the ball was going to be. And Thorin found that before long, he was actually having quite a good time. They'd split up in teams. Thoren and Jacko took on Thorin, Thráin and Archie. It seemed unfair to Thorin that he would captain the team with the most people, but Jacko was quite good. In fact, Thorin suspected him of going easy on them. Normally he loathed such behaviour, but his sons were laughing and for their sake, he held his tongue.

'Okay, that's it, boys,' Jacko declared eventually. Thorin couldn't tell how much time had passed, but he reckoned it had been a good long while. The sun was high in the sky and the temperature was steadily rising. 'Lunch.'

Kate always said that there was nothing in all the world that made a dwarf focus like the promise of food. Thorin liked to think he had better control over himself than that, but the saying was most certainly true about his sons. Duria had fallen asleep inside the house a while ago and Susan was only just waking up. She was however starting to make unhappy noises, indicating that she would not remain quiet for very long.

'I will take her, if you do not mind.' Thorin found himself making the offer before he could think it through. In his own world he would never have offered to take care of a mannish child, mainly because he knew such an offer would be regarded with suspicion and hostility. He'd no idea where those stories about dwarves stealing children got started, but he had found it in many towns and villages.

Jacko appeared relieved. 'It would give me some opportunity to put lunch together,' he said. 'So, if you don't mind, then I'd be grateful.' He was already making his way to the kitchen. 'She'll usually settle if you walk around with her for a bit. Just keep moving and she'll be fine.' He stopped when he thought of something. 'Come to think of it, have you ever been to Kate's old room?' He didn't wait for an answer before he continued: 'We moved all her stuff back after she'd gone and mum kept herself busy by arranging it all exactly the way it used to be. You can go and have a look around, if you like.'

Thorin almost froze. He wasn't convinced Jacko had entirely come around and so his wariness of him remained. And his first instinct at such an offer was to think of it as an attempt of Jacko's to rub his nose in the heartbreak Kate's disappearance had put her family through. And even if there was no ulterior motive – after all, they had gotten along very nicely this morning – it was not his place to pry.

'It is Kate's old room,' he said. 'It is not my right to pry there.'

Jacko frowned. 'It isn't prying. We've all been in there at some point. And it's not as if mum's put all her private stuff on full display. Besides, you're her husband; I don't think she'd mind. And you might like to get a sense of Kate's life before you met her.' He shrugged. 'It's just an idea, not a criminal masterplan.' He must have sensed that Thorin had suspected there was more to the offer than was said. 'I've checked my ears in the mirror this morning and they're not pointy as far as I can tell.'

'No one would mistake you for an elf,' Thorin informed him, almost angry with himself for being so distrustful. 'They lack the facial hair. It can make it hard to tell their women from their menfolk.'

Jacko grinned, the remark apparently well-received. 'They probably say the same about your people. Just go. It's the first door on your left when you've come at the top of the stairs, shouldn't be locked. I'll shout when lunch is on the table.'

Thorin took ill to commands, but he felt there was not really one intended. So he picked up the baby and settled her in his arms. She was a tiny thing, with big eyes and the first hints of curly hair on top of her head. For a moment she looked up at him curiously, but she quickly took an interest in one of the laces of his tunic, which she promptly stuck in her mouth.

He found that it was not much different from walking around with his own offspring and Susan appeared to be easily content. Her name sounded as outlandish as all the names in this strange land sounded to his ears so far. Then again, Kate didn't seem such an unusual name around these parts. She fit right in with Jane, Laura, Anna, Helen, John, Jacko and Archie. They were all relatively short names, though he knew Kate's full name was longer. He'd always wondered why she didn't use it, but this was a world, he found, that had a tendency for shortening long names. He didn't find such a habit in his own world.

As Jacko had said, the door was unlocked. It opened up into a room that was slightly bigger than he had expected. It was light and airy, the way he knew Kate liked. It didn't feel like a place that had long since been abandoned. This room felt like the owner could walk back in at any moment.

And Thorin stopped.

The window was to his left with a desk shoved against it, the bed against the opposite wall. But those weren't the things that drew the eye. There was board against the wall above the bed, filled with pictures. He recognised Kate's face in some of them, the faces of her friends, the ones he'd met at any rate, in others. Even from his spot in the doorway he could see that these pictures, photographs Kate called them, had been taken in happy times, when there was no sorrow, no heartache and no grief. Or maybe there had been. He had seen first-hand the damage that her father had done, and he knew of her first loves, the ones who had proven unworthy of her affection. But those were not moments to be memorised the way the happier times were.

Nevertheless, it was too unpleasant to dwell on for long; the guilt had mostly subsided, but he knew from experience that it could rear its ugly head at a moment's notice. And so he turned to the other wall, the one that was direct in front of him, mainly consisted of shelves, filled with books and little knickknacks of Kate's old life.

The child in his arms remained quiet, so he assumed it wouldn't hurt if he just stood and looked around, and maybe tried to read some of the titles. The books on these shelves were not unlike the books Kate had brought over with her when she had first arrived in Middle Earth, with the big difference that these did not look as old as the ones he knew. Then again, the three books in Kate's bag had travelled all across the continent with her.

Most of the titles were very unfamiliar to him. There were a few others he thought may at some point have come up in conversation, but as the names had meant nothing to him at the time, he had not truly remembered. It wasn't until he looked a bit lower, underneath the books, where there was a shelf filled with what he believed Kate called DVD's, that something he'd heard of caught his eye.

Kate

It took Kate approximately three minutes to remember why she hated shopping. It wasn't just the looking at dresses, though that was bad enough on its own, but it was also having to try them on and then parade around in front of her very own jury to see if they could withstand their judgement.

'Too short,' she judged on an otherwise lovely green dress that appeared to only reach mid-thigh.

'Makes you look ill,' was Laura's comment on a pale yellow dress that did exactly that.

'That one makes me look like an elephant,' Kate said distastefully about a grey dress that made her appear as three times her own weight.

'Way too much cleavage on display,' remarked Jane about yet another one.

'This one looks rather nice.' They were about two hours into this whole excursion when Anna observed this. 'I mean, you can see a lot of your back, but if you insist on a cardigan, no one is going to see that anyway.'

Kate hesitated in front of the mirror. Though she felt like all the dresses started to look the same after a while, she had to admit that this one looked better, and fit her better, than most of the others. It was even floor-length, but like Anna said, there was a lot of her back and her arms on full display.

Laura put in her two cents. 'I think you look lovely,' she said in a tone that allowed no room for argument. 'Just buy the thing and have done with it.' She grinned in Kate's direction. 'Unless of course you're up for more dress-shopping.'

That decided her. 'This one will do.' It was only for a day and she probably wouldn't even take it back with her to Erebor, because the locals would go into cardiac arrest if they saw her in that.

'You could try to sound a little more enthusiastic about it,' said Jane.

Kate snorted. 'Don't push your luck. If we keep this up any longer I am going to get terrifying flashbacks of Dori lecturing me about making sure I am well-dressed.' She loved her brother, she really did, but there were times she could have cheerfully strangled him. While she thought this, she had a fleeting image in her mind of the faces he'd make if he ever were to see this dress. Better not.

'Well, at least you finally know all about the joys of overbearing older brothers,' Anna said cheerfully. Anna's brother Sam had been the subject of many a complaint during their childhood. Kate remembered that well enough. She had met him a few times and his attitude of I-am-the-oldest-and-the-smartest had never failed to rub her the wrong way.

'I've had my share, yes.' Dori was different, but then, he was older than Sam and maybe even Sam had finally grown up. 'But most of his efforts focus on Nori, when he's around at least.'

'You know, we should get a cup of coffee and chat about it,' Jane said. 'Somewhere that isn't the middle of a shop.'

It sounded like a good plan. And while they had been busy Laura had magically produced a cardigan that went well with the dress, so that was them all sorted out. All things considered, they had succeeded rather quicker than Kate had thought.

'Dress. Give me,' Laura demanded, holding out her arms.

Kate frowned. 'Why?'

'Because I am paying,' she replied. 'Didn't I mention?'

'No, you didn't.' And Kate didn't really like it either. Given the fact that she was now officially dead – and that in itself was an odd thought that still made her feel vaguely uncomfortable – her bank account was no longer in existence and Middle Earth currency was not going to pay for anything here. Her mother had saved her the embarrassment by giving her money for shopping before she had to ask for it, but even so it hadn't felt right.

Laura must have realised something wasn't right, but she waltzed right over it. 'Well, I am. It's my wedding and I invited you. Seems right I pay.'

'You invited a lot of people and I doubt you're paying for their clothes,' Kate retorted.

She didn't quite share Thorin's aversion to accepting charity, but in this case she came close. And it was even worse because back home she had more money than she could ever spend in ten lifetimes. She could buy whatever tickled her fancy without having to think for a second about if she could afford it or not. Not that she usually thought much about the quite frankly ridiculous amounts of riches she now possessed. The job of being Queen under the Mountain, a wife and a mother at the same time took up the vast majority of her attention. Money never played a huge role. It was easy that it was there when she needed it, but other than that she hadn't at any point been obsessing over how rich she was now. It was just ludicrous that despite all her wealth she now had to rely on her friends to buy her a dress.

'Well, I know that they have things to wear.' Laura had years of diffusing Kate's temper under her belt and an eight year break did not seem to make much of a difference. 'Whereas you would never wear a dress unless held at gunpoint.'

Kate snorted. 'You should see my wardrobe these days.'

'Yeah, but you're still you, so I also know that none of the contents of that wardrobe have made the trip to England with you.'

Laura had her there. The mere prospect of not having to wear a dress for six whole weeks had been enough to make her "forget" to bring a dress or two. That didn't mean she hadn't got used to skirts – she even really liked some of her clothes – but she just wanted something else for a change.

Her lack of a response was enough for Laura. 'So stop being so… you and hand over the dress. I don't want to have a catfight over it in the middle of this shop, if I'm honest. But don't think that will stop me.'

Kate had learned from bitter experience never to test what her friend was and wasn't capable of. 'Fine, have it your way.'

Laura took the dress before Kate could change her mind.

They went out and bought sandwiches and coffee to go before making their way to a nearby park where they could talk without attracting the kind of attention Kate was keen to avoid. Her friends may know the truth about her and her life, but that didn't mean she wanted anybody else to overhear her talking about "fictional characters" as though they were real. At best they'd think she had really overindulged on fanfiction, at worst they'd think she was completely insane.

The conversation meandered for a bit and for a while it seemed like the old days when they'd gone out and talked about everything and nothing at the same time, carefree for hours. She'd had those moments in Erebor as well, but not as frequently as she'd like sometimes.

'You've been awfully quiet,' Anna observed after some time.

'Nothing wrong,' Kate reassured her. 'Just reminiscing. We used to do this a lot back in the day.'

Laura nodded. 'We haven't really done it since. Didn't feel right without you. Especially…' She stopped herself there, but it was already too late; Kate knew what she meant.

'Especially when you didn't know if I was dead or alive,' she finished. Laura wouldn't have said it to rub salt in open wounds, but her mouth was quicker than her brain. Besides, at least it was honest. Living with dwarves had taught her to appreciate that. 'It's all right. Really,' she emphasised when Laura looked like she was about to apologise. 'I've put you through hell.'

'Yeah, but it wasn't your fault,' Anna pointed out.

'Maybe not,' Kate allowed, uncomfortable because her friends were defending her actions, which she didn't think she deserved. 'But I didn't exactly ask Gandalf to send a letter home either.'

She had wondered since she had come back here. Would he have, if she had asked it of him? Truth be told, he probably would have. It just hadn't occurred to her to ask that, not when she was pressing him so hard to send her back home. Even if she had spared a thought for such a letter, she would have dismissed it, because it sounded too much like she had resigned herself to her fate. And by the time she fully committed to the quest, Gandalf was leaving anyway.

Fortunately for her, her friends knew her better than she thought. 'Of course not,' Laura said. 'Because that would have been a compromise, wouldn't it?' She shook her head. 'Not your style.'

Anna nodded her agreement. 'You've always been an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I doubt Middle Earth changed you that much.'

Guilty as charged. 'Not really. Which no doubt has driven the council to despair a couple of times.'

'And the elves, if I remember your letters right,' Laura chimed in.

'And the elves,' Kate agreed. She turned to her friend with a would-be threatening look. 'And don't think I've forgotten you turned those into a fanfiction, Laura Porter. At some point we will be having some words about that.'

'I'll have you know people like that story, thank you very much.' Laura was grinning like the cat that ate the canary. 'And the best thing about it is that nobody so much as guessed that it was actually real.'

Kate shook her head. 'Why would they? It's far too insane for reality.'

'Well, they do say reality is often stranger than fiction,' Jane pointed out sensibly.

'You can say that again.' In that fateful year alone she had seen so many things she would have thought to be impossible. But she had lived through those events. 'And even by Middle Earth standards we have done absolutely crazy things.'

'Like?' Anna pressed.

'Setting Mirkwood on fire for starters.' The longer she thought about it, the more she began to believe that she had temporarily taken leave of her senses. The mere idea was mental. How she had ever been capable of going through with it was beyond her. 'Dragging Smaug's stinking, rotting carcass all the way from the treasury to the front gate…'

'You mentioned that earlier,' Jane recalled. 'Sounds like an interesting story.'

In hindsight, it actually was. She took a bite of her sandwich, chewed and swallowed and prepared to tell the tale. 'Let me tell you about it…'

Jacko

Thorin needed some time upstairs, Jacko observed while he made lunch, and he was starting to debate the wisdom of sending him back to Kate's old room to have a look around. The one thing he had figured out about Kate's husband was that there was actually no figuring him out. Just when he thought he was getting somewhere, he said something Thorin clearly took as either an insult or a direct attack. It was clear that Kate saw something in him – she wouldn't hear a bad word spoken about him – but Jacko had yet to discover what that was.

And then all of a sudden he would do something nice and thoughtful like taking care of Susan and he would have no idea – again – of who he was actually dealing with. It was like walking a bloody tightrope in a hurricane… blindfolded.

Having said that, he was prepared to make the effort, now that he had actually calmed down enough to make such a decision. It didn't mean he entirely approved of Kate's life choices, but since he couldn't change the past, he would have to learn to live with them. And they only were here for a grand total of six weeks. It seemed foolish to waste that time on being angry with her when he would never see her again once she left.

Thorin at least had perfect timing; he came back into the room just when Jacko was about to call him to tell him that lunch was on the table. He'd wondered about not calling, but he had a feeling the boys would have eaten everything before that time.

'Just in time,' he said, taking care to keep his voice light. The last thing he wanted was for this dwarf to take any more offence than he already had. Kate should have left a manual on how to handle him behind. 'Lunch is served.'

He was rewarded for his troubles with a curt, but not unkind nod. 'Thank you.'

Jacko shook his head. 'No, thank you. It seems you managed to handle Susan perfectly.' He was just a tiny bit jealous, because he had been up all night trying to soothe her and had no success whatsoever. Whatever Thorin did on the other hand appeared to be working.

Other people might have taken the compliment in the spirit in which it had been intended, but not Thorin. 'I followed your instructions.'

'All the same, it worked.' Come on, you bastard, give me something to work with here. 'Look, just accept the compliment when it's given. It makes it easier for both of us.'

For a moment he wondered if he had gone too far, if he'd said something Thorin would find inappropriate or offensive. Then Thorin actually nodded at him again, almost as if in approval. 'Very well.'

That took Jacko by surprise until he remembered that Kate had mentioned something about the brutal, blunt honesty of dwarves, who like no others apparently valued directness. He might get used to it. It was certainly better than beating around the bush.

He didn't have long to dwell on it. Just supervising Archie was difficult enough sometimes, but now that Kate's two boys were here as well, he found himself repeatedly praying for a second pair of hands. They were good lads, well-mannered too when they remembered that it was required of them, but quite incapable of sitting still for more than a minute altogether. He'd rather hoped the game of football would have worn them out, but no such luck.

'I'm going to ask Uncle Nori for a football,' Thoren announced. 'When we get back. And then I'm going to teach all my friends to play.'

By now Jacko had heard a good deal about this Nori. His nephews were obviously fond of him, Kate spoke in fondly exasperated tones about her adopted brother, whereas Thorin gave the impression he wouldn't mind if Nori never darkened his door again. The only real thing Jacko had to go on was the short note Nori had sent along with Kate's letters. He'd come to think of that particular dwarf as one who didn't take anything too serious, but who at least had his heart in the right place.

'Why ask your uncle Nori for it?' he wondered, because Kate may dislike football, but he didn't think she'd begrudge her sons the pleasure of the game.

'He knows how to find anything,' Thráin confided.

'Finds it without paying for it, aye, that's true enough,' Thorin said.

Thráin studied his father. 'That's what Uncle Dori says.'

Thoren leaned over the table to Jacko and whispered behind his hand: 'Uncle Dori is boring.' He made it sound as though he was imparting a great secret on him, which it wasn't, if the fervent nodding of his brother and the chuckle of his father were anything to go by.

The conversation flowed easier with the boys there, who only ever seemed to stop talking to put food in their mouths and who jumped from one topic to a completely different unrelated one without pausing for breath. There wasn't any need for either Jacko or Thorin to do anything else but nod and occasionally remind the children to properly chew their food before they swallowed. Jacko was grateful for it, because just the idea of making conversation with his brother-in-law made him vaguely nervous.

Of course there was no avoiding it after lunch. The boys made their way back into the garden, leaving their fathers to handle the washing up. Thorin however appeared to make no attempt at conversation and Jacko had no idea how to break the uncomfortable silence.

'What'd you think of Kate's room?' he asked at long last, hoping that this was not actually one of those topics that made him go even more unsociable and taciturn. It was hard enough coaxing words out of him as it was.

'It suits her.' That was a surprising sort of answer, but a remarkable insightful one as well. If anything, he'd gotten the measure of Kate. It would have been a bad thing if he hadn't after all this time, but still.

He was making progress – of a sort – so he tried to keep the conversation light. 'Because of the sheer amount of books, right?'

'That too.' Thorin might never be a very chatty sort of person, but Jacko suspected he was making an effort here as well, even if it did all still feel wooden and awkward. 'But also because of the light.' Before Jacko could comment on how much he'd hit the nail on the head with that remark, Thorin continued: 'The books here look very different than they do in my world.'

Jacko reckoned that Middle Earth had never invented the press, so that all books he knew would have been written by hand. It was all very medieval and for that reason alone he found it hard to imagine that Kate would be content there. She had never made a secret of her gratefulness for living in this day and age.

'I suppose they do,' he agreed, taking care to keep his voice neutral. 'But you've seen our kind of book before, haven't you? I mean, I know Kate brought The Hobbit, but as far as I'm aware my sister never leaves the house without multiple books in her bag.'

The fact that Thorin actually smiled – it made him look younger and friendlier – suggested that this was one of those things that hadn't changed. 'No indeed. This has not altered.' He was silent for a while and Jacko was about to give this line of conversation up as a lost cause as well, when Thorin suddenly volunteered more information: 'I believe Ori felt it necessary to put a limit on the number of books she can take from the library at any one time.'

Huh. It certainly didn't come as a surprise that Kate liked to read. But he was caught on the backfoot because Thorin had suddenly decided to share something that Jacko hadn't needed to drag out of him first. The words still sounded oddly formal, but he counted it as a step in the right direction.

'Well, if there's anything you like to read, just help yourself,' he invited.

Thorin was quiet for some time, so he naturally assumed no answer was going to be forthcoming, but eventually he spoke again. 'As a matter of fact, there was something I would be interested in.'

'Name it.' Blimey, how did this guy ever have a normal conversation with anyone? It was more like pulling teeth than a light exchange.

'I do not believe these stories are found in any book, but Kate has spoken often about something called Doctor Who. I noticed the title in her room.'

Jacko could barely bite back a groan. 'Only my sister could move to Middle Earth and still obsess over a stupid TV-series.' Despite Kate's many attempts to beg, barter and downright blackmail him into watching it with her, he had never liked it. It was too absurd, too far-fetched and simply too weird for Jacko's taste. Of course, Kate was leading a very strange life, so maybe her tastes in entertainment should have been a warning for stranger things to come.

Thorin actually smiled. 'She has made mention of it more than once.' And while Jacko was perhaps not the best in reading subtext, even he could tell there was something more to this statement. But asking about that might undo all the progress he'd made today, so he decided against it.

'You should watch it with Kate,' he advised. 'She certainly won't mind.' When Thorin appeared not to understand, he added: 'I never really liked it.' But now that he was actually getting somewhere with Thorin, it might be a good idea to offer an alternative. 'You know, Kate really used to like board games. There should be a couple in her room. We could give those a try.'

Thorin

It had, all things considered, been a good day, Thorin reflected. The boys had mainly kept out of trouble and his interactions with Kate's brother were improving. He had been unfailingly friendly all day, but Thorin couldn't help but still be a bit wary. After all, his behaviour towards Kate when they had just arrived had been almost hostile.

Having said that, he almost felt at ease now. Kate's mother – she insisted he call her Helen – had returned late in the afternoon. Jacko had announced he didn't feel like cooking and had ordered something called a pizza, a dish Thorin was unfamiliar with. The whole process of ordering food through the device they called a telephone and then having it delivered at the door was baffling. Thoren and Thráin had immediately taken to it, though, and Thorin found the taste not displeasing.

After dinner the boys had been put to bed. They'd run around all day and, despite their claims to the contrary, were exhausted. They only put up a token protest before they went to sleep. Jacko put Archie in the other guest room, since he couldn't leave before his wife returned and then they settled down for another one of Kate's old board games, called Cluedo.

It was a strange experience. Playing games was not something that came easy to him and even when he occasionally indulged, only with close friends and family. Kate's mother and brother, for all that they were family now too, were not that close to him. Still, he sat down and played with them. This was a game that Kate had owned, that she had enjoyed. Jacko had suggested that he might like to get a sense of what Kate's life had been like before he knew her and this day had done exactly that.

Kate and Jane arrived when they were halfway through the game.

'Don't get up on our account,' she said, putting her bag down on the couch. 'Who's winning?' She walked over and took the chair next to Thorin. Just her presence diffused whatever tension was left in the room.

'I am,' Jacko said, grinning at her.

Kate took a quick look at Thorin's notes and cards. 'Are you now?' she asked. He had no idea if he had been playing the game well, but he had a feeling that Kate had decided to join him. 'I shall leave you to your delusions, then. But between you and me, we are definitely doing better on this side of the table.'

Jacko shook his finger at her in a remarkably Dori-like manner. 'Oh no, you are not inviting yourself into this game.'

It would take a stronger man than Jacko to say her nay. 'You can have Jane's help if you feel like you don't have the brainpower to manage alone. Come on, Jacko, I haven't played this game for ages. For all you know, I'm really rusty.' She tried her best to look innocent.

Her brother looked like he was about to protest, but then thought better of it. 'All right then,' he said in a very put-upon voice. 'Since it's my turn I think that it's been Colonel Mustard with the revolver in the library.'

Kate snorted. 'Oh, that's nice; blood all over my books!'

'They're not your books, they're Dr Black's and he is dead.' Jacko's annoyance had mysteriously melted away and the response had been so immediate that Thorin strongly suspected that exchanges during games like these usually followed this pattern. 'But feel free to prove me wrong about the Colonel.'

'You're always suspecting him,' Kate pointed out. 'What's the poor man ever done to you?'

Jacko didn't miss a beat. 'Well, the name is obviously a veiled reference to the use of mustard gas in the First World War. And he's a military man. Doesn't take a genius to see the connection. He's naturally suspicious.'

'Perhaps, but just look at him,' Kate objected. 'He looks like a principled sort of fellow, a fine upstanding gentleman. Murder is not really his style. Now, if you were asking me, I'd put my money on Miss Scarlett over there.'

It was the first time Thorin had seen them interacting without any sharp words, without accusations and without anger. This was how they used to be. And he couldn't help but wonder if she would have had all of this if she had never chosen to stay with him. It was just so easy to see what might have been. If she had never been taken by Gandalf, if she had chosen to marry another, a man from this world, she would have this more often. The rift that now existed between her and all she knew in this land would never have been. And this family would be as close as it now appeared, without complications.

Kate seemingly did not even notice how well she fit in here, how very much she belonged. It was hard not to feel the guilt, even though he knew that burden was not his to bear. But he also knew how often Kate struggled in Erebor, how she had to fight for even the right to be there, how she longed for the endless struggles to be over.

In a way their roles had now been reversed and Thorin wondered if he now felt as she did in Erebor; never belonging, always going right when he should have been going left, forever at fault because he lacked the knowledge to function flawlessly in a world and society not his own.

However, before he could sink to deep into what Kate had labelled "Durin melancholy" she snapped him out of it. 'Our turn,' she announced, gently elbowing his side. She'd discreetly written down what had happened while he had been deep in thought. 'I'm pretty confident we can make it into the kitchen.'

He forced himself to focus on the game and found, now that his wife had joined, he was actually starting to enjoy himself. And if he allowed himself a triumphant smile when they won – Miss Scarlett with the rope in the ballroom – nobody commented on it.

'That was fun,' Kate said when they had retired to their room. 'I should ask Bofur if he could make us a set when we're back home.'

'That would be terribly unfair to the other players,' Thorin pointed out. 'You'd wipe the floor with them.' He'd already known that Kate's mind was suited to this kind of game. She liked to figure things out, especially when there were no lives on the line, like tonight. And she was competitive too.

She laughed. 'You were fairly good at it as well,' she said. 'We make a pretty good team, if I say so myself.'

He had known they worked well together even before he loved her. It was old news. It was something else she'd said that struck a chord with him. 'Home, you said.'

Kate was currently in the – very distracting – process of undressing and probably hadn't heard him well when she pulled her shirt over her head. 'Sorry, didn't catch that.'

He elaborated: 'You said you would ask Bofur to make you a game when "we're back home".'

From the look on her face it was obvious that he hadn't clarified himself enough. 'You didn't mind Cluedo that much, did you?' If anything, she had clearly misinterpreted.

Truth was, he had rather liked it after a fashion. But that was beside the point. 'You said: "back home".' He had never heard her refer to Erebor as home before today. The word slipped out now and again, but always when she spoke about this place, the world she had come from. He didn't even think she did it consciously; it was just habit. And he had never held it against her, because she was in exile. It was of her own choosing, but she was forever separated from the place she called home and he knew how that felt. Until she suddenly and without warning bestowed that title on Erebor. It made his heart feel lighter.

If Kate realised what this meant to him, she waltzed right over it. 'Yeah, still not getting it.' She genuinely seemed confused.

He would have to speak plainer still. 'You never did so before. When you spoke of home, this was the place you meant.'

At last she understood. 'And it hasn't been true for years.' Thorin thought there was nothing she could say that could shock him anymore, but she had done so again. 'Not really. I mean, I'll never stop loving the people here and I won't stop missing them either, but I live in Erebor now. And it's about time I bloody acknowledged that instead of pining for could-have-beens.' She smiled at him. 'And it's not as if I didn't choose this, and you.'

And she had chosen him, against all sense. Even now, in this world that she had so long called her own, she still chose him. It astounded him all over again. And he did not know how to put this feeling into words. All he could do was kiss her.

Kate laughed. 'You could at least wait until I've actually undressed. No, wait, we're in my mother's house and…'

Thorin simply employed the best method for silencing his wife and kissed her again.

There were no more protests after that.

This chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I'd planned. Yes, that happened again.

On another note, I have realised that we're only two months (minus one day, but who's counting?) away from the five year anniversary of The Journal. And I would like to mark that occasion in some way. I have a few ideas myself, but if any of you have any input on what you'd like to see, drop me a line.

As always, thank you for reading! Reviews would be most welcome.