Chapter 18 - Coming to Terms

I had the worst sleep last night. Kept waking up every other hour with panic attacks and nightmares. It was 6am and I sighed as I accepted that I wouldn't be getting any rest.

I got myself out of bed and got dressed for the day. It's the weekend so no lessons. Which means no distractions. Even better.

I grumpily made my way to the Great Hall to be one of the few early risers to eat Breakfast.

I sat alone at the table and picked at a pancake. I had no appetite. Which seemed to be common recently.

I heard footsteps come to a halt behind me.

'Miss Rivera.' I turned around and forced a fake smile.

'Professor Snape.' I replied politely.

Looking around, there was only the odd student in the hall and they were too focused on yawning and keeping their eyes open to pay attention.

Snape sat himself next to me, which would have been a weird sight to anybody watching. Snape sat at the Slytherin table with a student.

Snape has always been an early riser so it didn't surprise me he was here.

'It is not like you to be awake on the weekend so early.' Snape spoke quietly.

I merely shrugged.

'I just couldn't sleep.'

Snape sighed softly.

'Cleo... I'm worried about you. You're not eating. You're not sleeping...' He said gesturing to the dark circles under my eyes and my obvious weight loss.

'What is going on?' He said concerned.

'I'm just worried about my Newts, Professor. That's all.' I lied. Putting on a soft smile.

Snape's face visibly relaxed, believing my lies. I'm too mentally drained to tell the truth of my situation. Anymore stress and I'll be in St. Mungos.

'You'll do amazing. Believe me. But don't let it deteriorate your health, please.' He said in a pleading tone.

I looked around quickly, noticing nobody watching and placed my hand on top of Snape's.

'I'll be fine, Severus.' I whispered as I gently squeezed his hand.

Snape smiled softly and nodded. I let go of his hand as he stood.

Without another word his black cape billowed behind him as he left the Great Hall. My heart always fluttered at the sight. So strong, powerful, confident. I truly am in love with him.

After breakfast I spent some time in my room. It was nice being able to sit and relax without the fear of Lucius randomly showing up now that Dumbledore has denied his access.

I had no intentions of seeing my 'husband' anytime soon. It'll take me a while to come to terms with my new title, that's for certain.

How do I break it to Draco that I'm now married to his father? It will crush him... I can't bring myself to it. Not yet.

And Severus? That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open yet. I want to take this one step at a time.

I was staring out of the window, taking in the nature when I heard a light knock at my door.

'Come in' I shouted lazily.

I heard the door open. In walked Ron, Harry and Hermione. I smiled softly at seeing them. We don't get to spend much time together, so this was a nice change.

'Come! Sit! Anybody want a drink?' I asked casually as I stood.

'Ooo yes please!' Hermione said.

I flicked my wand and prepared 3 teas and a pumpkin juice for Ron. He's always been a child at heart.

We sat on my sofa with our drinks in hand.

'So, how have you guys been?' I asked.

'Oh you know, just boring school stuff. Bit of trying to defeat Voldemort bollocks, you get the gist.' Ron said with a chuckle.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

'We've been well thank you. How about you? You haven't seemed yourself lately.' Harry asked concerned.

I smiled sheepishly.

'Just exam worries.' I muttered.

'Well! We have just the cure!' Hermione said with a devilish grin.

'What?' I raised a questioning eyebrow.

'Aside from Ron, you know about going to town, right? Nightclubs and all that? Young muggles enjoy it on the weekends?' Harry said with a smirk.

My eyes glinted.

'You're not suggesting-'

'YES! We're going out tonight. And we're not taking no for an answer! You need to let your hair down! Draco is coming too, we spoke to him earlier when we had breakfast. Given your absence when we had breakfast we thought we'd collar you later about it. He loves the idea! He said he'll be here at 7pm and we will all meet at the apparition point. If Dumbledore asks, we say it was an urgent Order meeting or something.' Hermione giggled.

Hermione, the Gryffindor know-it-all turned rule breaker. I like this girl.

I sighed in joking defeat.

'Alright, fine! I'll come.' I laughed.

The trio cheered.

I smiled warmly at my friends, glad that I have such an amazing support network.

After an hour of catching up, obviously missing out the entire Lucius and Snape business, we finished our drinks and bid each other a temporary farewell until that night.

I was excited, a little bit nervous as to what Lucius' reaction would be if I got caught, but I was looking forward to it nevertheless.

Remembering back to the other night when Lucius gave me strict instructions on what to wear, I scoffed and went to look for something sexy anyway. I didn't feel it recently, but I deserve to love myself and my body. I deserve to have fun whilst I'm still young.

I picked out a stunning little red dress. It hugged me in all the right places, my cleavage exposed. The straps coming over my shoulders to a criss cross on my back. I paired it with some red stilettos and a red clutch bag. I pinned my hair up into a bun, my fringe curled to frame my face. I did my makeup heavy, smokey eyeshadow, eyeliner, false lashes, contour, and a gorgeous red matte lipstick. I was going all out. It's a rarity I do this anyway.

Draco, being the cunning Slytherin that he is, had made us all fake ID's. With us being 17, it would be hard to get into a nightclub. My first time clubbing and the best people to do it with! And we wouldn't be recognised in the muggle world. Even better.

Just as the clock hit 7pm, the door opened.

'Where is my gorgeous best friend at?' The friendly voice of Draco rang from the door as he entered.

I walked out of my room, fastening my earrings (which were hoops) as I spoke.

'Come on in why don't you.' I laughed.

'Bullshit! You know if I had my own room you'd do the same.' He chuckled.

'True.' I giggled. When I finished with my earrings I ran over to him and jumped into his arms. He hugged me tightly.

'You look incredible! Tell me why I didn't pounce on you the moment we met?' He said jokingly, holding me.

'Ewwwwwww! Put that sentence back in your mouth Draco Malfoy!' I laughed as he put me down.

I pulled my dress down at the bottom as it had rode up slightly. Draco held out his arm for me to take.

'Summon your clutch m'lady, and let's get our boogie on.' He said in a mocking posh accent.

I shook my head as I smiled, acciod my clutch bag and placed my wand inside of it. If I get searched at the club, they'll think nothing of it.

We successfully made our way outside the gates of Hogwarts, where we met the others. Everyone was dressed smart/casual. Hermione in a black crop top and black high waisted skirt with heels, her hair down in her beautiful natural curls. The side parts clipped back. The boys all wore shirts with Jeans and smart shoes. We looked great.

We all linked arms and it was Hermione that muttered the location.

Within minutes we appeared with a pop in an alleyway.

We heard loud music and laughter. Drunken people singing. Everybody was alive.

We scuttled out of the alleyway and joined the queue of the large nightclub that faced the alley we came out of.

Once we got to the front of the queue, we all got in using our fake ID's, thankfully! We went through security with no problems and made our way inside.

The music was loud, there were people on the dance floor, people swarming the bars. The room dark with strobe lighting. The floor vibrating from the bass of the music.

'First round is on me!' Draco shouted.

'Yeyyy!' We all cheered in unison then broke out in laughter.

Ron needed a bit of help understanding muggle beverages.

The lads all ordered a beer, me and Hermione were sharing a cocktail pitcher between us. Because we hardly drank, it didn't take long for us to get tipsy.

We took it in turns to buy rounds. The boys switching it up trying pitchers. I started on the double vodkas and Coca Cola. We were all getting to the stage of being drunk that we had the confidence to get up and dance.

We all hit the dance floor and began to dance to the music. Me and Hermione grinding up against each other, which caused the boys to stop in their tracks and stare with their mouths wide open in shock. In all fairness, we weren't bad dancers at all!

I looked at Draco and winked. Which caused him to blush. In my drunken state, it seemed so natural to flirt with him. And I don't know why... I've always seen him as nothing more than my best friend.

Hermione had her focus on Ron, and Harry had his focus on a random chick on the dance floor.

'Go on! See if she'll dance with you!' Ron encouraged.

Harry downed the rest of his drink and confidently walked over to her. His charm seemed to work because they began dancing together.

Me, Ron and Hermione went to order more drinks.

I was most definitely getting drunk now. I think we all were.

I made eye contact with Draco as I placed my lips on my straw to take a sip.

His eyes trailed down to my mouth and watched as I did so. He visibly gulped and shifted on the spot.

He quickly looked away and took a big swig from his bottle of beer.

I smirked before I drew my attention to Hermione.

'This was such a great idea!' I shouted towards Hermione, hoping she could hear me over the music.

'I know right!' She giggled. Our voices all slurry from the alcohol.

'You and Draco seem to be hitting it off.' She said with a wink.

I blushed.

'Pffft! Nooooo! No way!' I didn't sound convincing at all.

'Come! Let's dance some more. Try and dance with him, you can tell he wants it.' She said cheekily.

I gasped at her forwardness then laughed as she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. I looked back at Draco who looked at me with a smile.

He leaned back against the bar and took a sip of his beer, following me with his eyes. Ron stood next to him.

'Damn, you've got it hard for her, huh?' Ron asked with a smirk.

'What? Cleo? No way, don't be daft.' Draco laughed nervously as he ran his hand through his hair.

'Oh come on, mate. I've seen the way you look at her. Maybe you just haven't realised it yourself yet, mate. But you ask any of us, we can see it.'

He then clanked his bottle of beer with Draco's as a cheers.

'You, my friend, are in love.' He said casually as he chugged his bottle, then placed it down on the bar.

'And so am I. Let's go get our girls.' Ron wandered over to where me and Hermione were dancing.

Draco remained put as he watched Ron walk away. Draco's eyes widened slightly in realisation at his words.

I looked back as I was dancing with Hermione, I noticed Ron and Draco talking. Probably boy stuff. But Draco couldn't stop watching me.

I noticed him looking a bit startled when Ron walked towards the dance floor.

I wonder what that was about...

My attention snapped to Ron joining us. I laughed as he held out his hands to spin me and Hermione at the same time.

I didn't notice Draco watching me this time.

Ron and Hermione was so lost in each other's presence, they began snogging each others faces off. I smiled and gave them their moment as I continued to dance when I felt hands on my waist. They didn't seem familiar at all.

I then felt hot breath on my ear, it stunk of alcohol.

'Mind if we dance, beautiful?' The unfamiliar male voice spoke.

'Erm, no thank you.' I said trying to move away from him. But his grip on my hips became tighter. Pinning me in place as he forced my ass to press into his obvious erection. He uncomfortably began to grind on me as I tried to squirm away from him.

'Get off me!' I shouted.

Little did I know, Draco was watching the entire thing.

His hand gripped tightly around his beer bottle as he watched the man walk over to me and place his hands on me.

He wouldn't intervene unless I didn't want it. He would just remain jealous from a distance. He didn't understand it himself. He never felt jealous of his father. Or Severus. But now, all of a sudden, the thought of Cleo being with anyone was making his blood boil. Maybe it was the alcohol.

When Draco saw me visibly trying to get away and the man forcing himself on me, that's when Draco intervened.

Draco slammed his bottle on the bar and stormed over to me on the dance floor.

'Come on, beautiful, just one dance.' The man pressed on. Pushing himself into me.

'She said... No.' Came the angry voice of Draco behind us.

The man pulled away slightly, his hands still on me.

'And who are you?' The man scoffed.

'Her boyfriend.' He said before pulling the man off of me, bringing his fist in the air and punching the creepy stranger in the face.

The man fell to the floor clutching at his now broken nose.

I gasped as I moved out of the way. Looking around hoping security didn't see.

Luckily the dance floor was too busy and everyone was too drunk to even notice. This shit must be common in bars. Unfortunately.

'I'm sorry! She's all yours. I didn't mean to- FUCK my nose!' Then he scuttled away, clutching at his bleeding nose.

Draco grabbed me by the hand and guided me away from the dance floor. I made sure not to step on the spatters of blood left behind from the punch.

Draco pulled me outside, presumably the smoking area, and brought me to a quieter corner.

'Are you okay?' He asked, concern written all over his face. He cupped my face with his hands, stroking my cheek softly.

'I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?' I nodded sheepishly.

'Thank you.' I whispered. 'Boyfriend.' I smirked.

Draco removed his hands from my face.

'Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know what else to say.' He chuckled nervously.

'But don't thank me. I haven't been able to protect you from much before, but I will protect you where I can.' He said, a tone of guilt in his voice.

'Hey, please don't even try and blame yourself for anything that has happened to me. You have been my constant. My ride or die. My rock.' I said with a smile.

'Come! Let's go find the others.' I said.

Just as I went to walk away, Draco grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. He pushed me up against the wall and placed one hand on my waist, the other buried in my hair as his lips came crashing down onto mine in a burning kiss. I moaned against his mouth as I kissed him back. The alcohol boosting my adrenaline.

I grabbed at his shirt hungrily, deepening the kiss. Our tongues drunkenly dancing around each other's.

When we broke the kiss, he rested his head against mine, breathing heavily.

I giggled as I looked into his eyes.

'What was that for?' I whispered teasingly.

'Because I wanted to.' Draco shrugged with a smirk. 'I have for a while.' He whispered.

We were quickly interrupted by the Golden Trio cheering us on. They must've followed us out.

'Go on lad! Knight in shining armour sweeps the good lady off her feet!' Harry cheered.

We all chuckled. Ron with his arm over Hermione's shoulder.

'Shall we continue this back at mine?' I asked.

We all agreed and all stumbled back to the alleyway we appeared in when we got here.

Hermione slurred 'Hoggy-Hoggwarts *hiccup* Hogwarts grounds!'

And thank goodness we all made it back to the grounds in once piece after that catastrophic mispronunciation.

All 5 of us wrapped our arms around each other as we walked in a diagonal drunken line back to the castle.

'Shhhh now everybody!' Hermione whispered whilst giggling, drunkenly bringing a finger to her mouth to shush us, but missing her mouth entirely which made us laugh more.

I don't know how we all managed to sneak back into my room without raising suspicion.

I placed a silencing charm on the room so nobody could hear us and began to play music.

Hermione reached into her small clutch and brought out a full bottle of Vodka. We all cheered.

'HERMIONE!' I yelled in shock.

'What!? I can't be a good girl my whole life. Not when Voldy is trying to kill us all. Life's too short! Let's drink!' We all laughed. She was very good with her charms that she charmed her clutch to fit anything and everything in. She even whipped out glasses for everyone.

'But where did you get-' Ron was just about to ask when Hermione hushed him.

'No questions. Just drinking.' She giggled as she poured the drinks. I had some lemonade in my room which we used as chasers.

We began to dance again to the music.

Draco came up behind me and placed his hands on my waist. This time, I didn't feel creeped out and assaulted. I felt safe. And incredibly turned on...

I rotated my hips to the music, causing me to grind against him. Again, not creeped out by the erection pressed against me.

Ron, Harry and Hermione were dancing in a circle, linking arms whilst laughing. Not even noticing me and Draco.

We all needed tonight. We were all happy and care free.

Draco leaned down and placed a kiss on my neck, which caused me to shudder and close my eyes. His hands started roaming up and down my body as I danced. He briefly ran them over my breasts, which made me inhale sharply and lust shot straight to my clit.

In my drunken state, I was so lost in it, I forgot all about my 'husband'. But what about Severus? The man that I am IN LOVE with!?

Draco isn't older. He is my equal. This is my first time being intimate like this with someone who is my age. Should I stop chasing older men who a relationship with me would never be accepted by society? Should I listen to my friends and try something with Draco? But risk losing our friendship? Do I follow my heart and remain with Severus? Do I be a good girl and remain a loyal wife?

What a fucked up love triangle.

So much trauma in such a short time has me fucked up. And the alcohol doesn't help either. But for now. I'm just going to live in the moment.

After two more hours of dancing and drinking, we all decided to call it a night. Hermione whipped out Harry's invisibility cloak that she had in her clutch. They were far too drunk now to get away with sneaking to their rooms.

I offered for them all to stay but they all insisted they wanted their own beds.

I laughed as Hermione cast a silencing charm on the cloak so as soon as the three got under there, they couldn't be heard. Even after all this alcohol, Hermione still had her wits about her. Kudos.

We hugged and kissed each other's cheeks goodnight, and Harry, Ron and Hermione got under the cloak.

'Good luck!' I whispered after their invisible forms.

The door opened and closed on its own it seemed as they scuttled out.

Draco was still stood in the living room when I turned the music down, switching it back to classical that I usually have on during the day to calm me.

Wordlessly, Draco approached me from behind. He leaned down and began planting light kisses from my cheek down my neck, when he reached my shoulder, he lightly bit it. This caused a groan to escape my mouth.

The room was spinning I was so drunk.

Draco span me around by my waist and crashed his lips down onto mine again.

He kissed me roughly as he began to push the straps of my dress down.

I didn't stop him.

He guided me towards the bedroom as he continued to undress me.

I kicked my shoes off as I continued to kiss him back.

My fingers going to his shirt as I began to unbutton it.

We got to the doorway as he unzipped my dress causing it to fall to the floor. I stepped out of it as we moved, leaving a trail of clothes behind leading to the bedroom.

Draco pushed me up against the doorway as we paused our movement so he could lean down to kiss my breasts.

His hands cupping them both as his tongue began to devour my nipples. Flicking, licking and nipping at them. I groaned in pleasure as I buried my hands into his gorgeous bleach blonde hair.

He continued to suck on my tits before tracing kisses back up my chest, to my neck where he bit hard. I moaned loudly.

That for sure will leave a mark.

He unzipped his trousers and shook his shirt off before guiding me to the bed.

He gently pushed me down onto it as he took off his trousers. I lay there in just my red lace g-string.

He looked down at me in awe.

'You are fucking stunning.' He whispered as he removed his boxers.

My eyes took in his amazing body. Toned, hairless, and that incredible dick that stood to attention.

Clearly the penis runs in the family. I thought to myself.

Cleo what the fuck...

Draco reached down to pull my underwear off. Throwing it to the foot of my bed before he positioned himself on top of me.

The last thing I remember before waking up was Draco entering me for the first time. Me screaming in pleasure as we began to fuck. The rest was a blur.

I woke up with the most pounding headache and an arm draped over me.

I rubbed my eyes, conscious I still have makeup on and most probably look like a panda now.

I looked down, confused at my naked body and the naked man laying next to me.

The room spinning caused me to throw my head back onto the pillow and groan.

Draco stirred as I woke him with my groaning.

'Wha- Cleo?' He asked groggily as he lifted his head before slamming his head back into the pillow in defeat.

'We drank too much.' He groaned.

I quickly sat upright, so fast I almost gave myself whiplash.

'DRACO!?' I screamed.

'WHAT!?' Draco yelled back, startled as he fell off the bed.

I quickly yanked the sheets over me to cover myself. My hair all disheveled from the night we had.

'Tell me we didn't have sex.'

Draco stumbled to his feet and looked at me, just as shocked as me.

'TELL ME WE DIDN'T FUCK!' I yelled in a panic.

Draco shushed me, holding his head in what I assumed to be a splitting headache for him also from the hangover.

He sat himself back down onto the bed.

The images of what I remember flashed through my head. I smacked my hand to my forehead.

'It was bloody good though.' Draco said trying to lighten the mood.

'Look, we were both very drunk. We were both in the moment. It's happened. We can't change it.' He said bluntly.

'What a messed up love triangle.' I sighed as I turned my head to look at Draco. The sight of his penis arousing me again. I thinned my lip into a straight line.

No Cleo...

Draco noticed and smirked.

'We can have round 2 if you want?' He shrugged casually.

I picked up a pillow and threw it at his head.

'Okay okay!' He chuckled as he stood.

'This doesn't change anything between us, Cleo. Don't worry.' He said as he began to dress.

'Okay so we fuck and go back to normal like it didn't happen?' I said with a scowl.

He shrugged. 'Cleo, I'm going to be transparent here... I have feelings for you. But I know you're in a dark place when it comes to men and your emotions right now. So I'm not going to force anything. If you find yourself open to giving us a chance, I'm here for it and I would love nothing more. However, if you're still in love with Severus, I'm still just as happy for you as I was before. Now I'm just lucky that I got to spend the night with you.' He said gently.

I blushed.

'But what about Pansy?' I asked.

'When I found out it wasn't just me she wanted to be romantically involved with, I cut it off with her.'

'Oh, I'm sorry.' I said quietly.

'Don't be. Made me realise how I feel about you. But I won't go into that and mess with your head anymore. Just take your time. And know I'm here for you.' He reached down to take my hand and placed a chaste kiss upon it.

He was just about to leave when he paused.

'Oh, and Cleo? You're absolutely gorgeous. Thank you for allowing me to see and explore your magnificent body. And kissing you? WOW!' He exclaimed.

I giggled.

'Go on, bugger off!' I giggled as he left.

He truly is such a caring gentleman.

'Bye babe!' He said jokingly as he opened the door.

I shook my head with a small smile as I heard the door closing.

I sighed softly as I lay back on my pillow. Closing my eyes as the thoughts of all 3 men I'm involved in rush through my head.

I know I ask myself this a lot but now more than ever...

What the fuck have you done...?

I'm a slut. A whore. A cheat. A liar. How can I ever face Severus? If Lucius finds out, he'll offer me up to Voldemort. He said he'd kill another man who touches me. Surely not his own son...

He just doesn't have to find out.

Can I live with the guilt from also hiding it from Severus? The man who, granted, messed me about to begin with, but grew to care and love me?

I growled loudly at myself before giving in to the exhaustion and falling back asleep.

End of Chapter 18.

Yet another plot twist! You're welcome ;)

What will Cleo do now?

Stay tuned to find out.

Much love xoxo