Track 05: If You Want Me To Stay - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Charlie woke to an empty bed and a grumbling stomach. The exertions of the night before, as well as leaving her smelling a bit stale, had built her quite an appetite; but as she rolled over, sunshine hit her face and the Princess of Hell jumped from her bed in surprise. A bright smile parted her lips as she threw the curtains open, looking up at the sunlight shining through the window even as her eyes watered. Spreading her arms, she felt the warmth of the light heating her skin, breathing in the sensations that people on Earth and Heaven got to feel every day.
After a few minutes of basking, Charlie hit the shower with a pep in her step and dressed before skipping out of the suite she and Vaggie shared and right up to Adam's. Her knocks went unanswered and with her stomach demanding sustenance, she hopped into the elevator and descended to the ground floor, marveling at the well-lit, completely functional elevator and the lack of ominous creaking noises from it!
The smell of something delicious wafted into her nose as she stepped out, and the Princess of Hell almost felt like bursting into song as she danced down the hall to the cafeteria. Before entering, she peeked through the window; at the main table, the Sinners sat on one side, even Nifty and Alastor, though the Cannibal Overlord was on the far end away from everyone else. The angels sat on the other, surprisingly without their masks on as they ate from steaming platters full of food. There was one person missing, though.
Despite her belly rumbling, Charlie dipped away from the doors and slipped into the kitchen, where she found The First Man. She'd half-expected to see him in his usual robes, maybe with a silly apron or something on the front. Instead, he wasn't wearing his robes at all. He wore a long black shirt that had a four-sectioned tail around his legs, with a gray sash wrapped around his waist; something called a 'cassock' she recalled from one of her history lessons.
There'd been a group called 'The Repentant' who were 'Catholics'-whatever that meant-that thought they weren't being punished properly and had rebelled against her dad. Charlie didn't quite remember what had happened to them, partially because the thought of a bunch of zealots who'd ended up in Hell who hadn't lost their zealotry had been mind-boggling at the time; the other part was because Adam's didn't look the same as the pictures.
For one, there was no white collar. For two, his was sleeveless up to the shoulder.
Charlie licked her lips, and it wasn't entirely because he was standing before a professional stove, cooking up rows of French Toast, bacon and sausage with the sort of casual ease of long experience. Long, muscular arms, subtly flexing with each movement and broad shoulders…she very much appreciated Vaggie's soft curves, but she also liked things a little harder.
She was slightly surprised, though. Hugging him as many times as she had, she knew Adam was thinner than his robes made him appear, which was, well, 'thicc' as the vernacular went. But underneath it, he was rather slim all told.
Her stomach growled and would no longer be denied, so she skipped into the kitchen and right up to the First Man. "Good morning, Adam!" Charlie greeted him cheerfully, reaching for a slice of bacon on the stovetop. His wing shot out and lightly slapped her knuckles, making her recoil. "Hey!"
"Don't, you'll burn your…" He paused, blinking at her, "Oh yeah. Mornin' Ministar. Enjoying the fuckin' sweet new digs?"
Cautiously, she reached for the bacon again and when he made no move to stop her, she snatched a slice and shoved it in her mouth, moaning at the taste of hot, salty meat on her tongue. Adam's hot salty meat, part of her mind traitorously pointed out. Ignoring it, she replied, "You bet! I woke up to sunshine, Adam! And I went to sleep with moonlight!...that wasn't blood red," she smacked her lips and stole a sausage that time, "I know it's Hell and all, but does everything have to be red? I mean, home was neat and fancy, I didn't know how…messy so much of the rest of Hell is."
"Yeah, why do you think I call it a shithole?" Adam grunted, smirking at her, "Are you gonna eat directly off the stove or wait for a plate?"
"That depends, did you make enough for everyone?" Charlie teased, taking a moment to reconcile the fact that she was teasing the Leader of the Eradicators, someone who had been the most terrifying figure in her life for all two centuries of it, while subtly eyeing up his arms appreciatively as he cooked breakfast in her dream hotel.
"No," he said bluntly, "I made enough for me and my girls. We worked up quite an appetite last night, you see, so I'm making a lot just in case they're extra fuckin' hungry even though they definitely filled up on my thick, hot, salty, juicy meat just yesterday. And well, if there's some left over, then hey, wasting food might not be a Sin but I feel like it should be."
"…Uh-huh," the Princess uttered, unconvinced. She didn't need some sort of special sense to tell that Adam was prevaricating as he had last night. She thought of teasing him some more, but she refrained. Instead, Charlie laid her hand on his arm and looked up into his golden eyes. "Thank you, Adam," she said softly, giving him a soft smile, "I mean it. I know you could've kept all this," she waved her free hand at the clean, well-lit and whole hotel, "To your suite or something, but it means a lot to me that you shared. Not just with me, but everyone here. Even Alastor. Thank you."
Adam stared at her, idly flipping a row of French Toast, his eyes darting down to her hand, which she just realized was touching his bare arm. She could even feel his pulse through her fingertips, and his skin was softer to the touch than she expected. "…You're smearing bacon grease on me," he finally said, reaching over to grab a platter, neatly stacking breakfast foods atop it. "And stop making it seem like I'm a nice guy, Ministar. Maybe I'm torturing you all with visions of what could never be? Think of that?"
She frowned at him. "No, I didn't. I know you're a better person than you give yourself credit for, Adam…I'm not entirely sure how I know that, but I damn well do. And you're stuck here for a year, bitch, so I've got time to convince you." Charlie grabbed the platter from his hands, turned her nose up at him (a hard thing to do, given his height) and flounced away from him with a harrumph.
As she walked away, she thought she heard him mutter, "If only you were right…"
Charlie pushed through the door into the cafeteria, her eyes drawn to where Razzle and Dazzle were sitting, both of her mounts eating from breakfast plates. There was even a plate for KeeKee, the demon cat/hotel key looking unchanged despite the building itself shifting radically. Given their proximity to the kitchen, she had a feeling she knew who had set the food out for them.
As she turned to the table, she nearly slipped on the marble. Sitting near the head of the table with an empty seat to his left was Adam, sipping a glass of orange juice. "Wha-what?" Charlie whipped her head over her shoulder to look back at the kitchen, then at the table again, "How did you-?"
He smirked at her. "This is my territory," he said, snapping his fingers, the platter disappearing from her hands and reappearing on the table, "I can do whatever the fuck I want in my territory," he snapped his fingers again and a jar of peanut butter appeared by his plate, "Teleporting included." With that said, he grabbed a pair French Toast slices, smeared one with peanut butter, drizzled it with syrup then layed three slices of bacon and made it into a sandwich.
"Neat," she nodded, frowning a little as she took in the seat placements. Either she was supposed to sit at the far end with Alastor, who was poking a piece of sausage with disdain, next to Adam or… "Why aren't you sitting at the head, Adam?"
Adam grinned as if she'd told him a joke and nodded at the seat at the head of the table. "This is your show, Princess-"
"-Charlie!" she interjected with a pout.
"-Princess Charlie," he continued without missing a beat, "I'm just here to watch. And point and laugh. Heckle a little. Throw food on occasion." He flicked a grape, the small fruit bouncing off of an unlit candelabra and back into his mouth. "The fun stuff."
Charlie hummed and sat down at the head of the table, unable to contain a beaming smile as she looked down the length of polished wood; again, it was like something out of her dream, angels on one side, Sinners on the other, eating together. It wasn't exactly as she pictured it, but close enough. As she pulled together her own breakfast plate, Hell's Optimist smiled at her girlfriend and turned a curious eye on the maskless angels.
There were five that she could see, and all different. Two were twins, the creepy kind whose only differing feature being one had her white hair clipped to the left and the other the right, otherwise they did everything simultaneously. Eat, drink, wipe their mouth with a napkin, bat their eyelashes flirtatiously at Adam while eating a sausage, talk, blink. They were also shorter than the others, but Charlie could've sworn all of the angels were the same height. They had cold, crystal blue eyes that could peer into your soul…though they were locked into a staring contest with Nifty, and she couldn't for sure say who was winning.
The next one up had her red hair cut into a mohawk, though not one that was gelled into standing up, who seemed to be dead set on emptying an entire carafe of coffee on her own with a staggering amount of sugar. Her eyes were a sharp pink color, as Charlie found out when the angel glanced up at her and gave her a searing glare.
"Heck, you greedy bitch, don't bogart the coffee," Adam cut in, and the angel with a mohawk easily slid the carafe down the length of the table, giving the First Man a happy smirk. "Thanks babe."
It was something Charlie noticed when she'd sat down; every so often, the angels would look over at her, scowl and glare before looking away sharply. Sometimes they'd shoot a longing look at Adam, or the plate in front of him for some reason, then get sad.
The third angel was quite a surprise, having black hair with a fringe that covered most of her face except for one of her eyes, which was outlined in sharply spiked mascara, also black, which made her light purple iris stand out. Her plate and goblet (who used goblets anymore?) were made of wrought silver and decorated with screaming skulls, but Charlie could see that not only was she drinking chocolate milk, her French Toast had cut-up fruit on it in the shape of a smiley face.
The last to Adam's right was an angel with blonde hair pulled into a bun, her jade green eyes glittering with amusement as she stole his cup of coffee while he was leaning on the table with his eyes closed while he sighed deeply for some reason. Charlie could see a pattern of different leaves tattooed along her arm and the side of her neck, which was a bit surprising; she didn't know Heaven allowed tattoos.
There was an empty seat to Adam's left, and as she eyed over the angels, she recalled the voices from their song the night before, and the pleasured cries from the same as well as the names associated. The twins had to be Gladii (though how a single name applied to both of them was a mystery), the one with the mohawk had to be…Heck, possibly, the goth angel (the irony was thick there) was 'Devo' most likely, while the woman with leaf tattoos had to be…Ficus. That meant there was one missing.
"Where's Miss Lute?" Charlie asked, reaching over to grab the peanut butter and put together a French toast sandwich of her own.
Adam opened his eyes and looked up at her, a smirk on his face. "…Would you believe she's been sucking me off under the table since I sat down?" He asked sarcastically.
Angel Dust looked up in surprise, then pushed his chair back to check.
Charlie thought back to the angel who'd barely taken part in any of the shenanigans, almost always standing at parade rest by the First Man's side with the exception of the Musical Numbers. "No," she said honestly. That sounded fun and daring, and Lute looked like she had her sense of fun surgically removed.
"Okay," Adam shrugged and went to drink from his coffee cup, pausing in confusion when he found it empty before turning an arch look on the angel to his left. Ficus smiled impishly and batted her eyelashes at him, sipping from her full mug.
The pornstar started chuckling and shaking his head, waggling his eyebrows at Adam and doing lewd things with a sausage that went ignored.
The chair to Adam's left pushed back suddenly and Lute emerged from under the table, wiping her lips with her thumb and sucking the digit, a rather sharp smirk on her lips as she started digging into her breakfast. Charlie started, realizing the First Man had been telling the truth. At her left, Vaggie rolled her eye and made a disgusted noise under her breath, and the Princess turned her gaze down the Sinner side.
Her girlfriend had her gaze firmly fixed on her plate, but had also barely eaten anything, which sucked because French Toast was the shit and Charlie's favorite breakfast. Husk, beyond her, was sipping from a mimosa and taking small bites of his food, obviously savoring the taste and the sunlight hitting the back of his chair. Angel Dust was also enjoying his meal despite the rather graphic things he was doing to the meat and the jokes he was making about it. Pentious barely had his head peeking above the table, giving everyone suspicious looks and batting the Egg Boiz away from his plate.
Then there was Nifty, who had been dropping the same piece of toast on the ground, eye wide in fascination as it simply teleported back onto her plate. Until Dazzle silently crept up on her, waited for her to drop it again before snatching it out of the air and retreating to his corner.
Alastor was close to scowling at his plate, poking the fully cooked meat and muttering under his breath, his magic fizzling out before he could change it to something a little more raw. "Do we have anything a little less well done?" He asked with a sigh.
"No!" Adam called from the other end of the table, "Eat normal fuckin' food you goddamn creep!"
The Radio Demon growled under his breath. "I can see I'll have to look elsewhere for decent sustenance," he said aloud, standing and tapping his cane against the carpet, but nothing happened. "…You utter bastard. Not only did you steal-"
"-yoinked is the proper term, I believe," Adam added with an amused smirk.
"-steal my hotel and my employees-"
"-not my fault, her bitch twink dad signed off on it-"
"Hey!" Charlie interrupted. Liar or not, that was still her dad he was insulting.
The First Man was unperturbed by her frown. "-He's the one who changed the contract of employment you signed as the manager and on behalf of your minions after the fact. He altered the deal, and I'd pray he didn't alter it any fuckin' further."
"-now you won't even allow me to leave?" Alastor finished, the air around him staticy.
"Why would you want to?" Adam shrugged, "I made French Toast, and French Toast is the shit. So shut-the-fuck-up," he gestured with his fingers and the chair slammed into the back of Alastor's knees, "And-sit-the-fuck-down, Period Piece." A bowl of fresh fruit slid next to the cannibal's plate tauntingly.
"You want to leave?" Gladii spoke up in that creepy synchronous way of theirs, tilting their heads in opposite directions, flat blue eyes gazing at Alastor, "You don't want to stay forever? And ever? Don't you want to play with us?"
"Play with us," one of them echoed.
"Yes, play with us," the other said.
The Radio Demon actually seemed unsettled as they stared unblinkingly at him.
"Adam," Charlie interjected quietly, "I mean, he is a cannibal, their diets have to be different from normal Sinners…"
He looked at her incredulously. "Cannibalism…is bad, Charlie," he said slowly as if speaking to a child, "People who eat already dead bodies because the only option is to starve to death are one thing. People who hunt other people down and consume their flesh raw is not the same fucking thing at all."
She knew that. Still, she gave him a pleading pout. Alastor could cause a lot of problems if he decided to be actively antagonistic. "Please?" She asked softly, reaching across Lute to touch his hand, ignoring the way the angel twitched towards her fork.
Adam's eyelid twitched, a sudden glaze coming over his eyes that faded after a few blinks. "…Fine," he muttered, snapping his fingers and replacing the actual food on Alastor's plate with a steak of dark red meat, lightly running with fresh blood. "It's elk, and that's the best you're getting, asshole," he turned a glare on the Radio Demon, "Ask me for human flesh even as a joke and I'll chiffonade your nutsack."
Alastor lightly sucked his teeth but nodded in grudging acceptance and dug in, his smile returning slightly.
"And don't push your luck if you want pork," Adam added.
"I have a question," Husk asked, having watched the conversation with wary eyes, "How did you do all of this? I mean, you summoned raw meat out of thin air, not mentioning what you did to the hotel. So why did you cook? Not that I don't appreciate an…actual meal in I don't know how long."
Lute spoke up. "It's an angelic ability. Heaven provides whatever the residents ask for, though not all know how to create such things." She snapped her fingers and a starfruit appeared on her plate along with a knife, both of which she took before sitting in Adam's lap. "This is Adam's territory and therefore Heavenly territory, though as I'm aware particularly powerful Hellspawn and such can do the same with their own magic."
Adam ate a slice of fruit Lute fed to him. "As for why I cooked instead of summoning, well, I just fuckin' like cooking. Sure I can snap my fingers and make whatever shit I want pop in front of me, but it never quite tastes the same unless I make it myself. I am The First Cook after all."
"Right," Vaggie scoffed, "Thought you couldn't lie?"
Charlie turned a curious look on the first man. "Yeah, what do you mean by that? Wasn't…er, Eve," she tried not to wince at the emptiness in Adam's eyes before it vanished, "Like a stay at home mom?"
He chuckled dryly as if she'd told a joke. "What, like 1950's Americana where the wife stayed home, vacuumed, dusted and watched the roast in-between trying not to fuck the poolboy and reading magazines?" His laugh petered out as the Sinners all nodded at him, some more sheepishly than others. "…What kind of fucking retards are you?" Adam's voice was sharp and dare Charlie wonder, offended. The angels all glared at them, their wings flexing and spreading.
"Hey," Angel Dust held up all four of his hands, "No offense you know, it was just what times were like back then, and well…" he pointed at Lute, who was still feeding the First Man, "The whole 'Dickmaster' thing and that right there. But hey, if you wanna buck some stereotypes, or should I say fu-"
"Is genuine love and affection so alien to you that you can't recognize it?" Lute spoke up, eating the last slice of fruit and now using the knife to sharpen her nails, her yellow eyes narrowed into a vicious glare.
"I know the reason behind the Dickmaster thing," Charlie piped up, trying to defuse the tension that was arising in the dining room, noticing that Alastor's smile had started to spread.
"Why do you know that?" Angel Dust asked, looking between the Princess, Vaggie and Adam.
"I asked," she shrugged, "It's like how there's a master key that other keys are made from, except…" She gestured at Adam's lap, "You know. A dick. The guy who holds the master key is the Keymaster, and-"
"That's not why we call him that," Heck said from down the table, an amused smile on her lips even as she had a white-knuckled grip on a butter knife, "I'm assuming you cunts know the difference between fake and real orgasms, yes? How many were fake last night, eh?"
Vaggie looked like she'd rather remove one of her teeth with pliers, but admitted, "…None of them."
"And why do you think that is?" Gladii added with faux-sweetness.
"What depths of pleasures may abound when the master of his craft is around?" Devo added ominously, sipping from her silver-screaming-skull goblet of choccy milk.
"You forget," Ficus added with a smirk, "He's Adam. The First Man. The-"
"THE DICKMASTER!" The angels chanted, even Lute. "And he's called that, by us, who came up with it, for a reason."
Adam kissed Lute's neck, making the angel sigh and lean against him. "Listen, shitheads," he said coldly even as he leaned down to kiss Ficus, "I was the First Man in a time before time was fucking recorded. A home, food, bedding, a good night's sleep, that was all shit me and Eve had to earn. Back then, 'keeping house' meant making sure the walls were secure, drying and smoking food, gardening and planting and getting clean water. Yeah, I hunted," he hugged Devo from behind, the goth angel smiling happily and blushing, "And I foraged and fished. It was dangerous, but so was keeping house, and we were literally the only two people on the entire. Fucking. Planet. By the time I would get back carrying an entire dead animal on my shoulders, Eve would be so tired she'd likely injure herself over the fire, so I cooked."
Heck cut him off by tilting his chin so she could kiss him fully, running her hand through his hair. Charlie was tempted to interject just to head off the tension (and just that, she swore) but getting a history lesson from someone who lived it was simply too interesting to pass up. Looking down the line, Vaggie was interested as were the rest of the Sinners, even Alastor looking on with a curious smirk.
Adam turned back to them. "I made food for us while she rested, and usually while she did I'd give her a foot massage-I invented those, and massages in general, you're welcome," he smirked, though it was flat and humorless, "Life sucked, and everything was hard-" he flicked a chunk of sausage into Angel Dust's mouth, making the pornstar choke on Adam's meat and not in the way the spider demon wanted, "-Especially when Eve was pregnant. In her last trimester, I had to handle both duties, though not because she didn't keep trying. That's how I invented penning and farming animals, though at the time I just thought having animals closer to home would just make hunting easier. Turns out, give 'em safety and food and they started popping out kids. Things only got a little easier after our kids were born…"
There was a flash of something across his face; an ancient grief, an old pain, a wound that refused to heal. Lute hugged him around the neck and gave Charlie a venomous glare.
"Eve invented crop rotations and mass gardening, I invented penning and farming livestock, and once we had those things locked down with fresh water, things got…marginally easier, though they were never simple," Adam swept his golden gaze up and down the Sinners, looking them all in the eye, "Never imply that our lives were easy, or that I just relaxed in a cave all day while Eve did everything or vice versa. We fought and scrapped and clawed for our lives for hundreds of years. Don't ever insult either of us like that."
His final words almost echoed around the silent dining room.
"Anyone else got any stupid fucking questions?" Ficus spoke as Adam finished his sandwich. The look in her verdant eyes promised that if anyone brought up Eve again, she'd likely kill them on the spot.
Angel Dust was the first to summon his courage, coughing into a hand and trying not to wilt as every angel shot him a look. "…Not that I mind because, yum," the pornstar gave Adam's arms an appreciative look, "Where's the robe you usually wear? I don't think I've ever seen you in anything else, even in the archived footage of old E-Days."
Adam constructed another sandwich and bit into it. "You're lucky I'm wearing anything at all," he said casually, not looking up from his meal, "I usually don't wear anything after nights like last night."
By the look on Angel Dust's face, he didn't consider himself very lucky, especially with the angels nodding in agreement.
Charlie busied herself with eating, as despite the minutes her food had spent on her plate, it was still just as warm as if it had just hopped off the stove. The peanut butter, bacon and maple syrup French toast sandwich was pretty damn good, especially washed down with some milk.
Eventually, Adam checked a clock on the wall and sighed. "Alright girls, it's time for you to head home." He held up a hand to silence their immediate protests, "You know you were supposed to go home last night, right?"
"B-but!" The twins suddenly seemed far less creepy and far more sad with their large blue eyes and drooping wings.
"No 'buts' except yours walking through the portal, c'mon," still carrying Lute, Adam stood up and started heading for the door.
"Actually, before you go," Husk spoke up sheepishly, "I wanted to know about the names, because…well, they're kinda…random."
Adam sighed even as the angels brightened. "Angels are created from a convergence of light, harmony and soul, they're born without names. Most choose one that they feel fits or have someone name them; in the case of my Eradicators, Humanborne angels give up the names they had before they joined to dedicate themselves to the cause." He patted Lute's head, the serious angel nuzzling his hand, "Lute asked me to name her, as did Gladii," he pointed at the twins, "And Devo-"
"Sanguinara, the Devourer of Blood!" The goth angel announced, throwing her head back with a cackle.
Alastor immediately perked up. "Oh? Another who enjoys the other pleasures of the flesh? My good angel, why didn't you say so?" he arched an eyebrow with a grin, "Though I do recall something about cannibalism being a sin? I'd think that being a vampire was another."
"She's not a vampire and she doesn't drink blood," Adam spoke as the angel continued to prattle on about the magic of blood and some sort of dark, dangerous curse only she could contain, "Devo's just an overdramatic nerd." He kissed her on the cheek and the angel blushed and giggled girlishly.
The Radio Demon sighed gustily. "…Way to raise my hopes and dash them quite expertly, bravo."
Husk turned to the last two with a questioning expression. "Heck," the redhead said simply, and offered nothing else.
"Ficus," the blonde answered with a smirk.
"She's not named after a plant," The First Man chimed in, "Her name's an acronym, F.I.C.U.S. It stands-"
"Forever I Cull Unworthy Sinners," the angel continued with a toothy smile that promised violence.
"Yeah, it was either that or an acronym and the former is a mouthful, and not the kind of mouthful I like when it comes to women, hey-o!" The twins gave Adam a pair of high-fives for that, and he responded by scooping them up under his arms and grabbing the other two with his wings. "No more fucking stalling! Don't make this harder than it has to be!"
With Lute hanging around his neck, the twins under his arms, and Heck and Devo in his wings, it left only Ficus to follow them as they lumbered out of the dining hall.
Charlie shoveled the rest of her sandwich in her mouth. "Okay guys, breakfast is over, so… I'm not sure what to do with the leftovers, just leave it here for now. It's time to start our first day for real, so everyone meet in the ballroom!" She turned to Vaggie, "Can you get the boards set up, babe?"
"Sure, Charlie," the Princess kissed her girlfriend before jogging after the angels, leaving the fallen to tard-wrangle the Sinners. "Alright, you heard…wait, where'd Pentious go?"
Charlie had just slipped into the lounge behind the angels, but hung back. Adam had the twins in his arms, their wings wrapped around him and his around them, though his were so long they wrapped around the hug twice; it looked supremely comfortable. However, there was something more interesting: a portal to Heaven.
Beyond the rip in time and space lay a sea of clouds that at first looked white and fluffy, but as she got closer she could see that they were iridescent, changing colors with each angle. She didn't dare stick her arm through, but even then she could feel the warmth emanating from the other side.
There were footsteps on the carpet behind her and Charlie spun around to find Gladii glaring up at her, their eyes red from crying. "Excuse me!" She said with a bright smile, "Thank you for-"
"Fuck you," the twins said, jabbing a finger in her face, "This is your fault!" And then they hugged each other and stepped through the portal, crying.
Charlie blinked.
The next angel, Heck, simply eyed her hatefully before walking through the portal, though her shoulders were silently shaking. After her was Devo, her mascara running in dramatic lines down her face. "Curse you!" The goth angel wailed, "A thousand curses upon you and yours, you…you big meanie!" And she exited Hell with a loud, theatrical wail.
"…Dramatic is an understatement," the Princess muttered to herself.
"I hope you understand something, Hellspawn," Ficus said, green eyes sharp and almost murderous as she stepped up to Charlie, "Many of us have dedicated our lives not only to the Eradication of Sin, but Adam himself. For many…our entire lives, hundreds or thousands of years, have been spent in the company of the man we love. We have never been apart for this long. So, as my sisters said…fuck you." And she walked by.
Charlie rubbed her cheek, unsure of how to feel. On the one hand, it was impressive how devoted the angels were, on the other, she was a little tired of people swearing at her. Their words, though…angels were supposed to be merciful and loving, which wasn't quite her experience.
She could understand why they'd be mad, but still. Words hurt.
The last was, naturally, Lute. The yellow-eyed angel gave Charlie perhaps the most venomous look, a scowl twisting her lips. "Adam may support your dream, Whorespawn, but I do not," she practically snarled under her breath, "If you betray him, I'll rip your lying lips from your face and turn you inside-out cunt first."
The Princess of Hell recoiled, eyes wide.
"Holy shit, Lute," Adam muttered, giving the angel a concerned look, "Just…just chill. Fuck. Alright, I love you and all, but it's time for you to get the fuck out." He gently pushed her through the portal, giving her a small wave before he shut it, and then Adam was by himself in Hell.
Charlie sniffled.
By himself in Hell with a crying Princess.
Adam resisted the urge to sigh. "Charlie," he said quietly, stepping over to stand in front of her, her eyes firmly on the carpet. His hand twitched and he found himself reaching to gently tilt her chin up, their eyes meeting. There were tears running down her cheeks and an old pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
She blinked, surprised. "…Why are you sorry? They were…" It sounded lame to say, though fitting, "…Really mean."
"They're my girls, I should've stopped them," he shrugged, "I admit, I got caught up in saying goodbye. And Hell…does something, it brings out the worst in people, but especially angels. And I hope you know that when it comes to angels as a whole, my girls are…well, fucking weirdoes." Charlie snorted lightly, "Most angels are creatures of love and light and mercy, but the Eradicators aren't. Which is more my fault than anything…still, I'm not making excuses for them, I'm the one who decided to sponsor you, and I'm the one who volunteered to stay down here to make sure you gave this idea of yours an honest try. It's not your fault. So, as I said. I'm sorry."
Charlie twitched a little as he brushed her tears away with his fingers, his skin calloused and warm, rough but gentle. "I'm used to people swearing and insulting me," she shrugged blithely, trying and failing to make it seem like No Big Deal. By the way his lips formed a grimace, he did not find that a satisfactory state of affairs.
"You shouldn't have to be," he said softly, his eyes widening as he realized he had gone from wiping her cheeks to cupping them, swiftly dropping his hand. There was a moment of awkward silence. "Anyway…my fault, so I'll make it up to you, if you have an idea?"
She glanced at his wings. "Can you…do that hug thing with your wings? That looked really nice."
Adam's golden wings twitched, rustling softly. His eyes darted around and he looked almost nervous. "…Sure," he finally said, opening his arms.
Charlie stepped in and hugged him. She found that despite the softness of it, she didn't miss his outer robe. Under the black cassock, his body was firm and warm, with enough give that she was sure she could hug him comfortably for hours, his heart drumming strongly against her ear, and it only felt better when his arms wrapped around her. And then…his wings closed around her, around him, then around her again. It was the most comfortable, snug, warm and just plain Heavenly embrace she had ever felt, even outranking the hugs from her mom and dad combined. There was a smell to him, too, like…a clean, moss-lined cave with a brook running through it, a crackling fire cooking meat on a spit, a bed of furs and grass on a stone bench, dried flowers woven through rough thread, a collection of polished crystals glinting in a beam of sunlight slipping in through the top. A primal sort of sensation of comfort. Safety.
Home.
Charlie sucked a sharp breath, realizing she'd been about to fall asleep standing up. "…Do you feel better?" Adam whispered, his rough voice next to her ear. His breath washed over her cheek and she resisted the urge to shudder, though not out of disgust.
"Yeah, a lot better," she murmured, hugging him tighter and smiling as she inhaled his scent again, "You're very huggable, you know that?"
He chuckled quietly, the sound rumbling against her ear. "I've been told my hugs are better than sex," he bragged, his hand warm between her shoulder blades, "I'm not sure about that, but I haven't gotten any complaints."
Charlie giggled, then grunted as he tried to pull away. "Just a bit longer?" She tried not to plead, but it came across as such anyway.
"Your girlfriend's gonna get jealous," Adam warned, half-joking.
"Not if she got a hug like this," she replied, sighing as she dropped her arms, almost whining as his embrace fell away. Even in the new version of the hotel, it felt cold and oddly lonely now.
Charlie realized something. If that was what the angels got all the time and she'd just deprived them of it for most of year, she'd probably tell herself to fuck off, too.
"Unlikely," the First Man grunted, before his eyes narrowed in thought. "Oh right." He reached under his bare arm and a small box appeared from nowhere and bounced off of the carpet. "…No sleeves." He kneeled to grab the box and looked at Charlie.
She blinked. "Uh, what are you-?"
"Here, this is for you," he cracked open the lid and there was a golden ring inside of the box, glinting in the dim light of the lounge.
Charlie gasped, a sound of shock that was echoed from somewhere else in the room. "Um, Adam…this is a little sudden…" It wouldn't occur to her until much later that she hadn't immediately said 'no.' Or at all.
"No, it's a little ring," Adam said bluntly, holding it out for her, "It keys you in and gives you partial control of the wards, so you can use magic to do all the convenient shit it usually does without having to ask me. It's basically a miniature halo, so you can call, text, send pictures and whatnot, or throw it out and use it for a video call. Your hotel, your idea, so you get to call the shots, but if you wanna make any major changes you're gonna have to run them by me first."
"Oh!" The Princess took the ring and slipped it onto her right middle finger, feeling a strange sense of disappointment that faded as she had an idea. She focused and snapped her fingers, her uniform rippling and changing colors. The pants became a dark blue, the jacket a lighter shade, with the edges of her sleeves becoming yellow along with her pocket square. The white undershirt and black bow tie remained the same. And, on the pocket: The Happy Hotel. "So, what do you think?" She did a little twirl and smiled.
Adam grinned slightly. "The colors look good on you, Ministar. Professional. Classy. And most importantly, not red."
Charlie giggled lightly and clapped her hands. "Alright, we're starting the first, actually first, day of exercises today! We're in the ballroom, so-" She turned to leave, then stopped as a mischievous look came over her face. "Race you there!" She snapped her fingers and teleported away.
The First Man chuckled to himself and snapped his own fingers, but instead of following Charlie he put his robe back on. "Alright you fuckin' creep, stop watching!" He called.
From behind the bar, Vaggie popped her head out, a conflicted look on her face. "…Hey," she said awkwardly.
"Sup, bitch?" He arched an eyebrow, "Being a creeper natural or something you learned down here?"
The fallen angel scowled at him. "Will you shut the fuck up for a second? I need to…say something."
Adam crossed his arms.
Vaggie grunted, a hand coming up to rub her eyepatch, and she sighed. "Listen, about last night…I was just trying to tease you about the whole thing, not…do whatever it is I did instead, alright? I'm…I'm sorry." She snapped a glare on him as he opened his mouth, "And if you make me apologize again I'm gonna kick you in the balls!"
"Ooh, scary," he said, not seeming very scared, "Did Charlie put you up to this? Doesn't seem-"
"No," the fallen angel interjected, turning away from him, her face hidden behind the curtain of her hair, missing his brief look of surprise, "She doesn't know…about a lot of things."
Adam shrugged. "Alright, whatever, apology accepted I guess." He turned to leave.
"Don't tell her!" Vaggie called, desperation in her voice, "She doesn't know about-"
"How you betrayed us?" His voice was sharp, as were his eyes, "I don't give a shit about your secrets, bitch. I won't tell her. But know this: the longer a lie festers, the worse the truth hurts." He turned back to her, looming over her with his golden gaze. "Although I want to know…why a former angel who killed thousands of Sinners…doesn't seem to know what Eradication is."
The fallen angel turned away, glaring at nothing. "Stay away from Charlie," she warned.
"Fuck you, I do what I want," Adam shot back and just as she opened her mouth to say something and look back, he teleported away.
He loved doing that Batman shit, it was hilarious.
Adam appeared next to Charlie and Pentious, who was pushing some sort of cannon around. At his sudden popping-up, the snake Sinner yelped and tried to point the cannon at him, but he pointed a finger and fired a beam of holy light, reducing the weapon into glowing slag.
"My Skinflayer 3000, nooo!" Pentious wailed, falling to his…knees?
"The fuck were you pointing a cannon at me for, snake bitch?" Adam asked calmly, "Better be a good excuse or I'm gonna make me some new shoes."
"I can answer that!" Charlie chimed in, vanishing the mess with a wave of her hand as Pentious muttered about an order he kept trying to make, "And it starts in the ballroom!"
She shooed them all into the ballroom where the other Sinners waited, with Vaggie joining them at a run. In the middle of the room was a diving board, about thirty feet off of the ground, but no pool.
"Alright, everyone! Welcome to the first day on the road to redemption at the Happy Hotel!" Charlie cheered, smiling brightly, "Today is going to be all about one of the most important factors in any relationship: trust!" She did not see Vaggie wince. "So here's the first exercise! Trust falls!"
Adam looked up at the board, then at the Sinners around them. And then he laughed. "Well, this should be fun!"
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A/N: So, this is basically a reset chapter, making a clean break from the previous to set the new standard: Adam, Charlie, and the Hotel. Obviously I've left the door open for more angels and demons to make their appearances, but this is where we start getting into the meat of the story.
I mean, kinda.
Funny story, this was actually supposed to be one chapter and instead ended up being five, six and seven, so…I got no excuse, I just wanted to take my time and flesh it out to set some groundwork for the characters going forward, which you should remember what's basically the motto of the story: Things are more complicated than that.
I mean, I know I shouldn't have to say that, but sometimes I'm too subtle.
Anywho, I'll admit I had a fun time writing the angels, especially FICUS and Devo, mostly because I like the idea of genuinely terrifying angel (though the top spot for the that goes to Lute, and second place goes to Australia) and what's basically an eight-hundred year old chunni.
I also got to use the term 'chiffonade' in a story, and that pleases me greatly. For those who don't know, chiffonade refers to a method of cutting leaves, wherein they are rolled up into cylinders and then carefully sliced into ribbons. So yeah…
I also like the idea that under his robes Adam wears what's basically a sleeveless priest's robe, but also without being a priest.
Big thanks, as always, to NSG for being HIM (that's right, he's him) why not seek out his archive of works and give him a shout from me?
Thanks to all the peeps in the discord (even if some of them aren't exactly happy this is what I've been focusing on) and I'm also a part of The First Man collective if you wanna chat or shoot the shit.
But most of all, thank you for taking the time to read this story! I'm glad you spent some of your limited time letting me entertain you, and I hope you look forward to more.
And if you did like it, why not comment and fav or whatever. Your choice!
Stay Awesome.
~Soleneus
P.S.:...Nope, this train still hasn't stopped. 6 and 7 are already done and I'm making good progress on eight, so…yeah. No brakes on this bitch and I think we passed a station some ways back, there might've been someone on the tracks but it's not my problem I'll be out of state lines in like, ten minutes tops.
Still hope your summer is going good for you! Stay hydrated, make sure to get some exercise and just plain enjoy yourself a little. You deserve it.
Next chapter, Nifty gets a Flamer and I will not be elaborating.
Stay Awesome Some More.
~still Soleneus
(A message from the future: Chapter 6 is on AO3 right now, and 7 and 8 are available on my discord and Pa-treon as of now, as is a poll for the next story I write a chapter for. Just letting you know.)