Chapter 8
Since they'd stayed working at Logan's place, and Rory had to actually get to work in the morning to go over the piece on more time and add the missing citations, it was her who'd made the swift, perfectly excusable exit, without many answers on the topic of the two of them. It wasn't just a simple question of 'yes' or 'no' that was going to be solved after a poorly slept night.
What was worse than the ambivalence, in Logan's opinion, however, was the fact that after such revelations he was too wired up to sleep. For hours he twisted and turned in bed that morning, replaying Rory's words in his head. It felt good in some way, but not in others. Mostly it had just left him fighting his urge for quick fixes and at the same time self-preservation.
After deciding he was on the losing side of his battle to fall asleep, he pulled on his sneakers and hit the street, feeling his stiff muscles jolt awake by his increasing velocity. The muscle memory of his every-morning run in Palo Alto was still there, but even with the first mile his body reminded him of how he hadn't done this in a while. But desperate to push his brain to subside, he pushed on - taking on Rockefeller park, Battery Park and from there a good chunk of Lower Manhattan, unwilling to stop.
He paused only at the traffic light he couldn't avoid,, leaving him breathing heavily on a street corner, having overdone it a bit. It wasn't like him to get out of breath like this, but clearly he had a streak of self-destruction. He wasn't sure why that was presenting itself again - he'd thought that part of him had always been linked to his family. But then again - maybe that wasn't the full explanation. He'd done crazy shit when things had been off with Rory as well - and this was feeling an awful lot like that. Maybe it was Rory too, who made him like that. Maybe, despite the strength of their feelings for each-other, especially back in the day, they really weren't that good for each-other, but making each-other hurt. They were the prime example of the highest highs and the lowest of lows. Was that really a definition of a healthy relationship? It was not like Logan had many prime examples of that.
As he got back, limping a little, having hurt his knee a little - ever since his base jumping accident it still acted up every once in a while. Even that ache brought him back to memories of Rory. It was like she was engraved in him, due to all that they'd been through together. It wasn't bad - as there were things he truly looked back fondly on, but that alone wasn't reason enough to convince him that they needed approach the possibility of getting hurt again.
Being friends with her felt safe, and he truly felt sad she didn't see it as a possibility. Sure, partly he was lying to himself - but this was how he saw it at the time.
He'd left his phone at the apartment, only bringing his keys, and it wasn't the first thing he looked after getting back. A shower was first in his mind. But even his refreshing shower was cut short by a very insistent ringing of his phone. Cursing, and dripping, barely draping a towel around his hips, he answered it.
"What?!" Logan said, rather impolitely, but he knew there was no need for pleasantries when it came to his sister. She did this sometimes - call him over and over again until he picked up, even if she had nothing significant to say.
"That's no way to greet your sister!" Honor scolded him regardless, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Sorry, mom!" Logan teased, knowing how much Honor hated the comparison.
"Where were you! I've been calling like 20 times!" Honor replied
"I was out running, I left my phone at home," Logan explained, realizing there was little point in recapping Honor. "What's up?" he inquired, hurrying her up, wanting to get back to drying himself off properly.
"Dad's at the hospital," Honor sighed.
"Again!?" Logan reflected. This was hardly a surprise to Logan that Mitchum had health problems. But generally money could buy some serious help and he would be back on his feet in no time, promising again his doctors to try to take it easier.
"Yes. Again. But this time it's serious. More serious at least. He's in surgery now at the NYPH. They just took him in," Honor said.
"Wait, you're actually here in the city? At the hospital?" Logan reflected.
"I was with him when it happened," Honor said.
Logan was conflicted. He felt that maybe he ought to be there but mostly for his sister's sake, not so much for his father. But what would it say about him if he went or on the contrary didn't go to the hospital right now?
"Can you come? It sucks being here all by myself with all this medical jargon," Honor made the decision easier on him.
"Fine, I'll be there. Text me where," Logan said, curtly. He wasn't glad to be going, but he took it as a necessity. He might've cut himself off from his family, but that didn't include his sister. But one thing was for sure - this was the perfect distraction.
When normal people would be hurrying to the hospital, worrying about their elders, in a similar situation, it was during his ride there Logan was finally feeling sleep creep up on him. Jokingly, he kept thinking back to the way he'd once driven around with Honor's daughter in the car to get her to fall asleep to help out once Christmas. Who would've guessed that the same trick would work on a sleep-deprived, but wired, adult.
Still, he shook himself out of it, knowing he needed to be there for Honor. Logan's first question upon arrival wasn't how 'he' was doing, rather, how 'she' was.
As expected, the waiting room mood was dull, both Honor and Logan expecting this to be just another episode, which was hardly a first. Mostly Honor just filled Logan in on her family life - including her 2-year-old. To the naked eye Honor and Josh were living a fairly normal, upper-middle-class, existence, Josh being a little awkward about the Huntzberger family ways. But as soon as Josh went abroad for work, which was often enough, Honor had a long list of conveniences readily on speed-dial. Of course - Josh knew. He just didn't want the awkwardness of having maids, cooks and gardeners around the house when he was there, feeling like he had to tip-toe around his own house.
At one point Honor caught Logan mid-yawn.
"It's barely noon, don't tell me you're not sleeping again!" Honor mothered him.
"No, I am. Just tonight was a little irregular," Logan explained.
"Finn and Colin drag you out somewhere?" Honor inquired.
"Actually, no," Logan replied, sounding surprisingly glad of the fact. Despite this morning's seriousness, he had enjoyed the process of working together with Rory.
"Oh, it was a girl. I see..," Honor chimed.
"Technically true. But it's not what you think," Logan replied.
"Oh?" Honor encouraged him to explain.
Oddly enough, Logan actually felt like sharing this. Like on the bottom of all of it - it was still good news.
"I was actually with Rory. Again - not what you think. I was helping her with her article. We were doing research. It was kind of great actually. I'd missed that," Logan explained.
"Wow, I didn't know you two were still in touch," Honor replied, cautiously. Logan knew how much Honor had always loved Rory - and thought him to be a fool to end things the way they'd ended, even if the details were a little fuzzy for her.
"We weren't. It's pretty recent," Logan replied.
"You two back together?" Honor asked, tentatively.
"No. We're friends…," Logan said, now for the first time not believing the sound of that as he said it either. "At least we've been trying to be. We're still in the process of talking things out. Yesterday was just sort of urgent for her and it reminded us how it is when it's the two of us," he shared.
"You know you have that same look on your face when you first started calling her your girlfriend. Minus the tiredness," Honor pointed out.
"And what look might that be?" Logan teased, not quite believing her.
"I don't know," Honor shrugged, not knowing exactly how to name it. "It's like you're excited again," she added.
"I don't know what I am," Logan replied, running his hand across his forehead, before hiding another involuntary yawn.
"Well, I guess, talking's good? Right? I hated seeing you hurt by her but I know you're a lot more cautious these days… so if you do choose to give it another go, I'm sure you'll think it through carefully," Honor discussed.
"Good to hear someone has more faith in me than I do," Logan chuckled.
"Just slow and steady," Honor encouraged.
"Yeah, because that's so like me, right?" Logan mused. He'd been Mr. Spontaneity for so long, in fact, the first thing he'd actually thought through was his move back East and starting his current business. But maybe that was proof of him actually growing up? Maybe the last time around - him and Rory just hadn't been ready. He hadn't been mature enough. Not that he was by any means 'ready' now. But readier, perhaps?
"You know you could probably take a nap in here. Ask for an extra gurney or something?" Honor suggested after a while, seeing Logan yawn again for the fourth time.
"Nah, don't want to make a fuss," Logan said, feeling now more than ever, as they sat in a luxurious waiting room, how this was no longer where he belonged. He wouldn't have been able to afford being treated in a place like this anymore.
Instead Logan pulled up another chair and placed his feet onto it, deciding to simply lean back a little more and close his eyes just for a few minutes. Without realizing, at some point sleep got the better of him and his head fell onto Honor's shoulder.
"Logan, wake up!" Honor shook his arm, waking him.
Logan was surprised he'd actually fallen asleep the way that he had, and found himself a little confused as to where he was and how long he'd been out.
"The doctor's coming to talk to us in a minute," Honor informed him.
"Oh, good," Logan yawned, and rubbed his eyes before glancing at his watch. It was well past the afternoon already, the surgery having taken quite a while.
The two rose from their seats as the doctor entered, and despite a certain coldness towards their father, they found themselves studying the look on the doctor's face before he opened his mouth.