A/N: chapters will be longer after this promise!

BTW I love to talk as fast as I can just like the Gilmores aka: I love dialogue. This story will be dialogue heavy.

Thanks for reading!

disclaimer: I own nothing

Lorelai gaped at Rory after she dropped two words that she did not expect to hear from her cautious and not to mention single (sort of) daughter. That damn quick mind of hers had immediately thought of at least twenty glaring questions. But as she looked into her daughter's nervous eyes, she saw her teenage self. What could have made things feel better? What could Emily have done or said to her to at least make the situation feel less formidable? She realized that she needed to let Rory tell her everything, to come to her. Not give her the Spanish inquisition when she is already in a precarious position. It will only serve to make Rory feel worse and uncomfortable around her mother. So, in typical Lorelai fashion she turns to her disarming humor in an emergency.

"Pregnant with a baby or with a Wookie? If it's a Wookie, the galaxy might be interested in that information, and we should probably get you in the witness protection program stat!"

Rory laughs despite the heaviness of her truth, "you think the federal witness protection program can keep me safe from intergalactic forces? You've seen their technology."

She can't help herself, "So it is a Wookie? A baby Wookie? That's adorable but I have a feeling all that hair is not going to feel so good coming out."

Rory bites her lip and focuses her eyes on the ground as she decides how to tell the truth without looking like a trainwreck. Lorelai places a hand on her shoulder and patiently waits. Based on her daughter's trepidation, she can take a guess at who the father is. But Rory has to come to her.
After a few minutes of silent contemplation, Rory looks up and just says, "Logan's."

Before Lorelai can respond, a voice is coming from behind her,
"Hey, Luke wanted to come check on you guys, but he wasn't sure when the whole 'groom can't see the bride thing' starts. I told him that's probably moot seeing as you guys already got married last night," Jess speculates as he looks around the town square, "right?"

"Hi Jess. Yes, you're right. I'm sorry we didn't invite you, we just didn't want to condemn you with bad luck too because of our breaking tradition. Rory here is already experiencing the ramifications of our sin," she squeezes Rory's shoulders with a smile, but when she is met with her daughter's admonishing look, she cringes, "Wow. Foot, meet mouth. Rather, high heels meet mouth. It appears I must start paying the piper immediately too. Such short-lived bliss. At this rate I might not let Luke see me until the reception just to try and balance our karma out. I think I'm mixing a lot of philosophies here. Sins and karma are of separate religions, right? In the big picture, it's really all the same though. You either do good things or bad things, and then good things or bad things will happen to you. Either follow tradition or don't, and I for one have never been a traditional lady. And I've brought Luke to the dark side. Ha! Luke to the dark side, get it?"

Jess and Rory stare at her. Jess trying not to laugh, Rory looking like she is trying to shut her up telepathically.

Lorelai laughs nervously, "Um. anyway. I think you were saying Luke sent you to check on us?"

Jess nods, "He said even though it's incomprehensible to him, he knows you two need at least six hours to get ready. Which means you should have started half an hour ago."

Lorelai gasps as Jess shows her the time, she stands up and brings Rory with her, "We have to go! I can't look like I was up all night getting married before my wedding. Emily will know!"

"Mom, you did stay up all night getting married! I don't think there's enough concealer to cover that up."

"Rats, your grandmother is going to know, isn't she? Do you think I will be spared seeing as how it is my special day? Everything should be done to keep the bride happy right?"

Rory shakes her head, "Not when the bride left her mother out of her secret wedding the night before."

Lorelai groans, "How about we tell her your news, huh? That'll throw her for a loop!"
Rory's eyes bug out as she points her head in the direction of Jess who is still standing there.

"Gah! I'm sorry this foot seems to have made a home in there. I can't seem to kick it out! Okay, I'm going to the house. You go get us some coffee from Luke's, even though I'm nervous that him seeing my maid of honor before the wedding might split the earth in half. Nothing can keep me from my caffeine, not even Armageddon. See you at home, kid!" she hugs Rory and whispers in her ear, "Let's talk more later." Rory nods and wraps her arms around herself.

"Jess, I'll see you at the altar! Oh god, that sounded much weirder than I meant it, I am really paying for this whole bucking tradition thing. Rory, I think you were on to something at bid-a-basket when this one stole you away from Dean. Tradition is the way to go!"

Rory blushes, "Mom! Go home or I will call grandma right now and give her every detail about last night."

Lorelai gasps, "You wouldn't do that to mommy! But I'm not taking any chances, bye!" She finally departs from them, and Rory puts her head in her hands waiting for her blush to fade.

"You know, it's not a religious thing." Jess is right next to her suddenly. She begrudgingly removes her face from her hands and gives him a curious look.
"The not seeing the bride before the wedding tradition. It goes back to the 1700s, it was put in place to keep men from running on the wedding day in case they weren't attracted to the woman they had been arranged to marry."

"It's sad that this doesn't surprise me. How do you know that?"

"Coincidently, someone wrote an article for Truncheon's online zine recently about patriarchal marriage traditions. Very sardonic piece, supposed to lead you to the point that marriage itself is a patriarchal institution."

"Wow, you guys are still radical even after all this time. It's nice to see that not everyone is a sellout."

He smiles, "we tried, but no one wanted to buy. We are forced into anarchism, really."

Rory giggles, "That's certainly a paradox!" and Jess's smile widens. It seemed her and Lorelai were in the midst of something serious when he walked over, and then with Lorelai alluding to some news; he had thought the worst but is happy to see that Rory is well enough to laugh at his dumb jokes.

"So, I think you're on coffee duty. Want some help with that?"

Rory nods, "Sure. It's always good to travel in twos."

"Oh yeah, especially in a place like this," Jess snorts. They laugh together as they walk over to Luke's. Rory has never been more grateful for the words that Jess doesn't say.

The hospital finally let her leave at 11pm. To her surprise, Paris had only called her three times since their first call this morning. But she assumes by the extra precautions and attentiveness to someone miscarrying at her stage of pregnancy that Paris was checking on her constantly and surely administering threats as necessary. Her friend is intense and invasive sure, but when it really matters, Paris does show incredible care and tact.
The doctor recommended she wear pads for a couple of weeks as bleeding could come back and ebb and flow. But eventually it will stop and that will be the end. The end of something that made her feel scared, anxious, and insecure. But also, an end to something that she had started planning for, building somewhat of a future around. It was a tantalizing experience.

She feels tears pricking her eyes on the drive home, but she isn't ready to let them loose yet. Her tunnel vision is focused on getting to her bed. Then she can let it all out. In peace and quiet, in a room that she got to grow up in as her mother's daughter. A place she can allow herself to acknowledge the emptiness and grief pooling in her stomach, the black hole inside her where a life used to be. In the home where she was always encouraged to be herself. She just has to make it there in one piece, and then she can break into as many pieces as she wants. She grips the steering wheel whispering you can do this repeatedly until she finally pulls up to her house on Maple Street.

She walks in the door, emotions hanging by a thread, and she is so close to comfort she starts shaking. But as she's peeling off her jacket, she hears a whimper by the stairs.
"Oh, Paul Anka. I'm sorry!" She runs to fill the dog's water and food bowls and patiently waits in the kitchen until he is ready for his walk. She is able to table her breakdown for now, she has someone that needs her to be present and alert. She has someone to care for other than herself.

And she now realizes that although she doubted herself ever since the Clearblue test said 'pregnant', she could have been a great mom.